[instrumental brass tones]
Recent census reports indicate Portland is the most feminist friendly city in the country.
I'm freaking out. I'm so excited. This is great.
I'm excited about living in a feminist city 'cause the property values are gonna increase.
I just bought a house last year.
That's good for me.
The entertainment industry put LA on the map.
With Silicon Valley, it was tech.
Will Portland solidify its place as a center of the feminism industry?
With local enthusiasm strong and the ranking garnering national attention, there's no doubt people will flock here to see what this feminist fuss is all about.
And that's good news for local businesses.
[ominous brass tones]
What?
I-- I would like to buy one of these vag*na pillows, one for each of my buddies back at the office.
Do you even know what a cervix is?
I do; I-- I just had one tattooed on my backside.
p*ssy power.
That's disgusting.
And that's gonna be, you know, at least $500, so if you don't have it, please--
Oh, I have it.
That's-- that's the price of sisterhood.
Please take it.
Fine.
Thank you.
Get out.
Get out. This is disgusting.
It's not working.
We're supposed to be a non-for-profit and we're being suffocated by money and cash.
Hi, is this all together or separate?
Do you speak English?
Oh, I get it.
You want to take feminism back to your homeland?
You have feminism fever?
Listen, you do not want feminism back there.
Look what it's done to us! It's ruined us.
Um, it's $3,000, $3,000.
So if you don't have it, please put it back.
They're-- and they're getting the cash for it.
We don't want your money!
Feminism is not for everyone!
It's for me and her.
This green money, this is just a big, green penis, but it's not going to impregnate me with its ideas.
My legs are crossed!
We don't want your money!
You want to see what we're gonna do with it?
Want to see cash?
Yeah? We're gonna destroy it!
Is that what you like?
Yeah!
What?
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo!
- Yeah!
They're taking pictures.
♪ lose control ♪
Oh!
Whoa!
What are you looking at?
[cheering and applause]
This is something to rip.
Rip it! Rip it!
Get an insert of it. Get an insert right here.
[camera shutters clicking]
Whoo!
Stop taking pictures.
Me yelling at them?
This money doesn't help us at all!
Stop it, Candace, please!
Want to see the gas can?
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yeah!
all: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Quiet! Quiet!
[cheers and applause]
Whoo!
Be quiet!
Whoo!
Yeah! Yeah!
Whoo!
Yeah!
No!
[cheers fade away]
Oh...
Whoa-- whoa.
Oh!
Ah!
[ominous music]
[huffing and blowing]
Aw...
Boo!
Did you get a picture of that?
[camera shutter clicks]
[Washed Out's "Feel It All Around" playing]
[dreamy chillwave music]
And, uh... over there you got the tattoo shop.
If anyone wants to get off and get a "girl power" tattoo, we can pull over.
We'd be glad to. We'd be happy to.
All right, see that place right there?
That right-- that has a woman's bathroom.
Right there.
There's a lot of women's bathrooms in Portland.
More than any other state in the union, I believe-- it's little known fact.
And that place has a-- a woman pharmacist.
And a pharmacy is a great place to-- to buy socks.
A lot of people don't know that.
Ah, look at this.
Poor kid. I have just the thing.
Just the thing.
There you go. Here you go, ma'am.
Get that under his head there.
You know, kid, a lot of people think that the woman symbol is based on the astrological sign for Venus.
I don't believe it.
I don't.
I-- I think it's based on "2001 A Space Odyssey."
The circular shape of the spacecraft.
In the, uh, feminist classic...
2001...
You know what else?
I was obsessed with Erin Brockovich.
Ask anybody that I knew growing up, they'll tell you that's all I talked about, was Erin Brockovich.
Don't get me started on Erin-- Erin Brockovich.
[light instrumental music]
[camera shutter clicks]
It's so nice of you.
Always keep wearing the army jacket.
That's good. That's very, very important for feminism.
Uh, no. I am not an object.
Please get away from me.
Candace, why are you letting them do this to you?
Toni, just enjoy the moment.
What's wrong with you?
Are you wearing makeup?
Oh, am I? Oh, I think...
I think I might be, yeah.
Uh, the buttons finally came in, Candace.
Oh, these look fantastic.
I'm sorry, what did you order?
These are pins; we're gonna have little buttons here.
We could sell 'em for, like, $5 and one's you, one's me--
We're not selling things at a not for-profit bookstore.
Oh, she's right about that.
Maybe we could put these out and say that they're free with every $50 purchase.
Yeah.
Wait, why are you consulting with this person?
Who-- who are you?
Uh, I'm-- I'm Danny.
I'm Candace's assistant.
You have an assistant now?
Yes, of course. I mean, I'm so busy here.
He just helps me with groceries and picking out my clothes, car stuff a little bit, and then travel.
Where-- where you off to?
Well, for press, you know, say Atlanta or Denver or something.
I mean, do you want an assistant?
Uh, no, I don't. I can pick out my own clothes.
I can buy my own groceries.
You can pick out your own clothes?
Yes, I can.
Zebra necklace?
Yes.
How does a zebra necklace work with that vest?
It's a little last season.
Did you know that Portland actually has the highest percentage of women's bathrooms, female dogs, and restaurants that serve light beer?
Portland also can boast that 80% of its cat calls are followed by a sincere apology.
Okay.
Last stop on the tour, a real-life feminist bookstore.
Shop away; shop all you want.
Get in there.
Shop yourselves... silly.
Hi, everyone, welcome to Women And Women First.
Come on in.
Hey, ladies, nice to see you again.
I hope you don't mind that I keep bringing my customers here.
They love it.
I don't know if you've noticed, but we are a not for-profit bookstore, and you are bringing profit into the store.
Don't you see how that's contradictory?
You know, I used to work 15 minutes to an hour a day, and now I'm here until 4:00, sometimes 4:30.
You know, I find it hard to believe that you don't want to make money.
Believe it or not, I don't.
Candace, on the other hand, she is a sellout.
You keep saying that word, "sellout."
What does that mean?
What do you think it means, Candace?
It means that sometimes we sell out of some of our products.
It happens in business.
No, that's--
You know this is a philosophical discussion.
Look, I'll just-- I won't bring these folks around here anymore and-- but that's your loss, you know, there's a-- there's a demand. Someone's gotta fill it.
Well, I don't want to fill it, okay?
I don't want to just be some feminist Band-Aid for the woes of the world.
People can find their solace and their products somewhere else.
All right, I'm just trying to help.
I'm just trying to help.
Okay, well, you know how you could help?
You could take all these people and you could get 'em out of here, and you could start your own feminist bookstore.
Me, oh, um... Nah. Hm...
Come on down to Femimart, Portland's first feminist super store.
Here at Femimart, we know that you want top-quality female products without sacrificing female value.
We've womanized everything from blenders to blankets to baseball bats.
Everything in the store is made for women.
Leaf blowers, electronics, gear and supplies for the outdoorswoman.
And a year-round Halloween section just for fun.
Experience authentic feminism without the high prices.
And cut!
[applause]
Yay!
Yeah.
That's nice.
Very good.
Thank you.
Thank you. You're happy with that?
It was good. Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you. I'm really excited about this.
I think that it's gonna be great for Femimart, and I'm kind of a creative type so I've got some ideas as well.
I could do, like, an auctioneer thing, you know, like, [rapidly] 25, 25, 25, 25. I mean, that kind of thing.
Uh...
Yeah.
Well, we actually had some ideas too, do you want to hear--
Kevin had talked to us a little bit.
For the next spot, he was thinking maybe something more...
Fun.
Fun.
Sure.
Lightening it a little bit.
You know, like, you have such a great voice.
Yes.
Thank you very much.
It's a very strong voice.
Candace, the voice of feminism.
Yeah.
We could do that.
Yes, we can do that. Let's do that. Yes.
Yeah.
That would be amazing.
So, like, you're the voice and then we could have them be, like, the face, the faces.
Yeah, hi.
Could you come here for a second?
Would you mind just standing next to Candace?
Candace, could you scoot over just a little bit?
Just a little bit?
Just, like, a tiny bit.
You're great. You're perfect, perfect. Just hold this up.
Can you just hold those up?
Yeah, let's see what you guys look like with that.
No, Candace, you--
You already got one.
Just one second, sorry. No, you're great, uh...
I like that. I like the red.
I like it.
It's really nice.
Doesn't it?
It sort of pops, you know, with her eyes.
Great, and they could be in the background and I'm just--
I'm talking up front.
Sure, or even reverse that.
Yeah, or, like, you're off the side.
Maybe you could pass the gas can.
Just like it was the torch of-- of feminism.
It's very symbolic, and then they could carry that torch--
Where does that put me? Where do I go?
Um...
You are the person who had the torch.
And-- and now you're off camera.
Yeah.
I'd rather be, like, in the sh*t, not to...
We can start there. We can...
Yeah. Yeah.
We'll start there.
Right.
Yeah, and then cut it.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. I think you'll really like it.
You'll like it.
Mm-hmm.
I'll take your word for it, I guess.
This is what feminism used to look like.
[woman screaming]
But now, we're passing the torch.
♪ I know what them girls like ♪
♪ they like to party ♪
It's time for a new face of Femimart.
[upbeat hip-hop music]
♪ sip it till it's gone ♪
♪ ♪
Candace Devereaux's phone. This is Danny speaking.
No, uh, where-- where's Candace?
She's not exactly available right now.
I don't give a sh*t. Where is she?
She's doing press today.
Danny, you little troll, I will shrink you down and put you on my keychain. Get Candace for me.
Can you please call back at a later time, ma'am?
Ma'am?
[growls] Danny.
I'm coming to find you.
And I'm coming to find Candace.
You better warn her I'm on my way.
Bye.
[instrumental brass tones]
Today, I am pleased to welcome Candace Devereaux, co-owner of Women And Women First bookstore and celebrity feminist; welcome, Candace.
Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here.
Tell me, how has your life changed since you've become a celebrity feminist?
Oh, celebrity, I mean... Oh, wow.
Um... I try to stay grounded and-- and really just focus on myself and being the same person.
I hear you're considering putting out your own line of patterned vests.
This is happening, yes.
I'm thinking of maybe the name Invested or Vestibule or--
Candace!
I think both are fantastic.
Off me, Candace.
Toni--
Can we get this woman off of the set, please?
Oh, this woman?
Look at yourself in the monitor.
Can we get a camera on her? Look at yourself.
You see what you look like? You look like a fool.
Do you hear yourself? You sound like a fool.
We will resume this lively discussion right after this commercial break.
Oh, no, we're not going to commercial break.
Do not cut! This is us, Candace.
They're making fun of us.
Us...
They're using us for profit.
I-- I am Toni Rose.
I am a card-carrying feminist.
I have not one but two Audre Lorde tattoos, and I know there are other feminists out there who are sick and tired of seeing feminism in this city being commodified, being reduced to some phrase!
You want to try feminism on?
There's nothing to try on! 'Cause it's in our blood!
It's our skin and bones!
We're here! We're not going away!
You want a feminist phrase? Come on, everyone.
Let's get back together and let's say, [screams] "We are not for sale!"
Toni, that was incredible. I'm sorry.
Did everyone see that?
Um... no one saw that.
We've been off the air for the last minute.
What?
We have got to go down to that super store and break it down brick by brick.
Brick by brick!
Danny, come here.
How's my schedule looking?
I mean...
You're full all the way through September, Candace, I don't...
Can we move that lunch at least?
You can't cancel on Angel again.
It's getting kind of awkward.
Well, there's gotta be a way around it.
Why's it not on my calendar?
Don't know why it's not...
When's Sedona? What month are you on?
No, no, that's January.
Okay.
Move down, down, down.
Down, down--
Candace, you don't make time for feminism.
The time is now! Let's go! Let's organize the troops!
You're right. Right now.
Danny, forget it.
We're out. Let's go.
Welcome, everyone. I hope you've eaten.
That you're sober and well rested.
What we're about to propose to you is not lucrative.
It's also not dangerous.
But it is very, very important work.
We don't need scaredy-cats, cats who are scared.
If I see any fear, I want you to leave right now, this second.
[dramatic music]
Go on, Toni.
As we all know, Femimart is the largest feminist super store, not only in Portland, but in the entire United States.
Boo.
It's destroying us.
Are we gonna rob it?
Oh, no.
We're gonna take it down.
We have a four-step process.
We integrate.
Get in there.
Be part of their system.
You must somehow get hired at Femimart.
Well, I always interview really well.
Well, that's one of you. But the rest of you, pair up.
Work on your résumés. Get your references in order.
Sit down and do the best interview you've ever done.
You're hired.
Thank you.
Welcome aboard.
Oh, that's wonderful.
We destabilize.
The point is to confuse, confound, redirect, distract, undermine.
Couple of hours from now, we're gonna have a staff meeting.
Why don't you join us?
Love to.
We would love to.
Spin them around and make them dizzy.
We dismantle, we destroy.
And as we all know, the only thing that can destroy feminism...
Is feminism itself.
Let's do this.
Welcome, everyone.
Thanks for coming to the meeting.
Uh, the first order of business I'd like to turn over to some-- some women who've come to help us out, sort of as advisors; Candace and Toni, welcome.
Thank you.
Thank you very much. We'll keep this really short.
It might be a good idea to try to come up with maybe a new logo design.
Maybe there should be a logo that addresses some more issues and is more inclusive.
And I think it's important that we reach full consensus on this.
You know, this logo has to represent what feminism is and it has to represent it for all women.
Does everyone thing that this logo should be a woman?
I think it's a great idea.
Maybe we should define what a woman is.
Ooh!
Well, listen, Angel.
You don't want the logo to look like a woman you--
Well, what does a woman look like, Leanne?
Well...
I think everyone can see my point.
What if we made it a little fun?
Like, maybe the logo could be holding a cat.
- [cat meowing]
Or a piece of pizza.
Love that idea.
You are brave, very courageous, and that's a very creative and good idea.
Okay, so, Kevin, you should write that down.
A logo that holds something else is always a good idea.
Make that logo somewhat confusing.
Well, maybe we could put the pizza on the logo's crotch.
Is it a piece of pizza or a whole pizza?
Because a round pizza's--
This is getting into a real problem.
You know what it is, but other people are gonna think that that's just pubic hair.
But we-- we're also not discussing, what if the logo is a vegan?
Well, here's the thing about veganism.
I mean, how does the unborn child get nourished, you know, on cashews and soy alone?
So the logo is pregnant?
Well-- how old is this woman-- sorry, person-- on the logo?
Old enough to know that dressing up like a slut does not make you a feminist.
Oh, now, wait a minute.
What, are we playing the blame game now?
Yes, we are.
Let's play the blame game.
Our logo can't dress the way she wants without being shamed by other women? She can't be sexual?
I have a question.
Danny, this better be good.
Do not stumble on your words, Danny.
Go ahead, Gloria Steinem.
If she can't speak, does that make her not a feminist?
[scoffs] Oh, my God.
Wait, so you're saying the logo--
No, I-- I want this to echo in his head.
I want this to echo in his head, what he just said.
The-- the dumbness of that question, it resonates.
Can it speak-- do you want to put a speaker up on the logo?
Is that what-- you want to record the voice that's gonna be--
We should do that. We'll put a little stereo system up there.
So is the logo supposed to have a-- a-- a moving mouth?
Ooh, that's like a blowup doll.
You want a logo servicing a man?
You can be a feminist and want to service a man.
You can be a feminist and like sucking a little D.
Yeah, sucking D is pretty much universal.
So now she's heterosexual.
So do we have consensus on the logo?
all: No!
Well, maybe we should come back to this.
What we need to do is rearrange the store.
Why don't we move on to that?
Oh, that's a great idea.
No shelves.
No, I--
I as thinking--
Moving walkways--
Are we gonna have lunchboxes in the store?
You're women. What that means is, we mean it.
You're women.
Attention Femimart customers, if you are looking for audio or video tapes, they have been moved to aisles 3, 4, 26.
I need to talk to you guys.
Is it me or are there way less customers in this place?
Where did everybody go?
That's a good thing.
You don't want too many customers in here.
A good thing.
I wanted you guys to come in here to-- to bring new-- new ideas--
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
To make the place more authentic, to make it more real.
Did you call us guys?
Yeah, no.
[sighs]
At Femimart?
Listen, help me.
We're losing about $20,000 a day.
At this rate.
That's great!
Also, there's a way to save money.
Turn the lights out, light candles.
Excuse me.
I'm trying to find this jacket in a medium.
This is not an open shop where you can just get whatever you want whenever you want.
You want something? Look for it, and look hard.
You know, I think you can find those in the...
No, it's--
No, she can't.
What is that?
It's a pullover jacket for my daughter.
Your daughter, so you own your daughter.
She's not her own person. It's not "the" daughter.
It's "your" daughter all of a sudden?
You know, two weeks ago, I knew where all this stuff was.
Everything's been rearranged.
We've hidden them pretty well.
If you need to find one, I think we have mediums in the hardware section.
Why are there? Why are they in here?
Well, Kevin, since you're asking, because someone of that proportion and size might be interested in drills and hardware.
And buy your daughter a drill while you're over there.
So she can build her way out of your home.
I'm never shopping here again.
Please, please.
Kevin, this is good.
That's not the kind of customer you want, asking a million questions.
What a victory for us.
I've had it. This is...
I'm done.
I can reuse that, thank you.
I can't believe it.
[tense music]
That's-- that's perfect.
That's good. They scattered exactly right.
[upbeat cowboy music]
♪ things about to change here ♪
♪ right on time ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I gonna run a new road and on the good side ♪
So on the right, you got the Devil's Playground, Devil's Playground, built in 1987.
It's a brick building with a vertical wooden plank overlay, providing a nice, homey texture.
There you can see the requisite neon sign.
Are we actually going to go into any of these clubs?
Strictly an architectural tour, uh, folks, and, uh, if you'll allow me, I can describe to you what you might find in there.
First off, you get your strippers pole, which is gonna be made of a polished brass or silver, unless someone has been cutting corners, then, in which case, you're gonna get a, uh, galvanized steel pipe.
Have you ever met any of the girls who work in these clubs?
I have not. Got a real beauty coming up.
Uh, The Devil Wears Nada.
You hear that, Toni?
I do, Candace.
The sound of zero customers.
[spoon clinking]
See, they should design these longer.
So that I can do this from here.
Do you know what I mean?
'Cause this... my finger grease is getting all on the edge there.
This is what I'm talking about, real problems.
Yes. It's a real problem.
Yes.
Gonna call them.
Do you know how long this tea's been sitting in this little canister there?
No.
One month.
[ominous choral music]