19x18 - Service

[bunniefuu]

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous.

In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit.

These are their stories.

[DRAMATIC TONES] Some guy called 911, said he was out walking his dog and saw a dead body.

Turns out he jumped the g*n.

- Didn't leave a name.

- You get a number?

No, it was one of those what-do-you-call-its.

A burner?

Anyway, someone didn't like her face much.

Pulse is low, pupils dilated.

Good news is, she's breathing.

- You get an ID?

- Nada.

It's a little cold to be out without a coat on.

Hold up.

Her stockings are on backwards.

Maybe she got dressed in a hurry.

Maybe she didn't dress herself.

A h**ker's night gone bad?

Maybe a pimp?

Pimps are rough, but the girls are their bread and butter.

They're not gonna leave her to die.

So we're looking at a john.

That's not afraid to k*ll.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC] Multiple contusions.

A few lacerations.

Strangle marks on her neck.

In other words, someone b*at the hell out of her.

- Is she conscious?

- In and out.

- dr*gs?

- Unclear.

Waiting on a tox screen.

There was extensive trauma to the genital region.

Did you go ahead and do a r*pe kit?

No semen, but there was lubricant from a condom.

Okay, you mind if we ask her a few questions?

Don't push it, and don't expect much.

Okay.

We'll tread lightly.

Hi.

I'm Detective Rollins.

This is Detective Tutuola.

You're the ones who brought me here.

We found you unconscious in an alley.

You got a name?

Everybody has a name.

Okay.

And what's yours?

- Sky.

- Keep going.

It's just Sky.

Who did this to you?

Where did this happen, Sky?

- We can't help you unless you talk - Maybe I just I just want to go home.

And we just want to catch the guy who r*ped you.

What makes you think I was r*ped?

Okay, we want to catch the guy that used your face as a speed bag.

I fell down.

And you what, you strangled yourself on the way down?

Okay.

We're gonna let you rest a little bit, Sky, and maybe later you'll feel like talking to us.

Yeah.

Have a good day.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC] - Hey, Lieu.

- Hey.

So forensics found a footprint at the scene of the crime.

It's a men's boot, size 11, going from the street to where we found Sky.

- Okay, can we ID the boot?

- No, not yet.

But the thing is, the print consisted of a mixture of tinted cement and a light-colored, pebble-sized aggregate.

All right, so our guy walked through a sidewalk repair?

- That's what I'm thinking.

- So we could be looking at the whole damn city.

Yeah, but Sherlock here has a theory.

All right, listen.

It was freezing last night.

The high was 19 degrees, so I doubt this guy was working outside.

So you're thinking she was assaulted at the hotel - and then moved to the alley?

- Except there was no way that you get an unconscious girl out of a place like the Peninsula without anybody noticing.

So I think that at best, we're looking for a two-star hotel that's close to a sidewalk getting repaired.

Now, that leaves two options.

You got the Abington.

That's 29th and 11th Avenue.

And the Clinton Arms, 46th and 8th.

Very good, okay Carisi and I will take the Clinton Arms, and you two take the other one.

Hey.

You have a problem?

No.

[DRAMATIC TONES] I'm sorry about the girl, but I haven't heard any complaints about noise or anything.

And you don't know a girl named Sky?

- Sorry.

- Okay.

We're gonna need to check your security footage.

Look, I I don't want to get in any trouble, detectives, but to To tell you the truth, the security cameras They-re they're just for show.

Okay, maybe you could check your records from last night.

See if anybody checked in and out for an hour or so.

Don't you need a warrant or or something?

Not unless you're the one that did the b*ating.

[STAMMERS] Maybe I should call a lawyer.

Now you're starting to look real suspicious.

[STAMMERING] Well, I suppose - you could take a look - Yeah.

- Without me noticing.

- Yeah, cool.

Bring your eyes over here.

Look this way.

[KNOCKS ON COUNTER] Look at me.

I'm guessing you don't check IDs.

We got Mickey Mouse in room 212, Elvis in 117.

You were gonna make us get a warrant for that?

- [MUMBLES] - Hey, Grigor.

This this your bag?

It was turned in.

Condoms, lube, mouthwash.

Put your hands behind your back.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

All right, all right, all right.

There were three guys.

They went running out, and and I went to To see what was going on, and and that's when I saw her.

- Room number?

- 117.

I knew it was Elvis.

Look, I I'm sorry the maid hasn't tidied up yet.

- You find her here?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right there, on the floor.

She was dead.

- So why didn't you call the police?

- No, I did!

After you dumped her in the street like a piece of trash.

Cops all over the place ain't exactly good for business, no offense.

I mean, the girl's dead.

You know, who's it gonna hurt?

Except she's not dead.

That's She's not dead?

No, and you endangered an impaired person.

That's a felony.

Which means you're under arrest, dumbass.

Wait, wait, wait.

That I was No, you don't Ah, come on!

Vitals have stabilized.

Swelling has come down a bit.

So she's gonna make a full recovery.

She was just here.

Joyce, did she say anything to you?

Looks to me like she checked herself out.

[SIGHS] New York's finest, meet "New York's finest.

" Yeah, something like that.

I just don't figure Sky for a street walker.

How can you tell?

From the picture, it looks like she has all her teeth.

I've been here, what, seven years?

I still don't get it.

World's oldest profession, my friend.

I understand why there are hookers, Carisi.

I just don't get why we give a damn.

They they know the risks.

Maybe they don't have a choice.

Everybody's got a choice.

Besides, there are plenty of women out there who need our help, and more importantly, want it.

Hold on, here we go.

"Sky.

I will blow your mind.

" - Among other things.

- Is that her?

Yeah.

Without the swollen eye.

SkysTheLimitXXX.

com.

It's classy.

[DRAMATIC TONES] She's late.

Come on, a player like you, how could she stay away?

I think one of her colleagues just got here.

Saving New York, one hooker at a time.

I think they prefer "sex worker.

" Eh, if the shoe fits.

Hey, you're on, Carisi.

Ooh, you've got to be Sky.

Hey, sexy, you must be Dominick.

You get a room?

Well, I figured we talk a little first It's your hour.

- Down at the station.

- Damn it.

Hey.

Remember me?

- You're busting me?

- Yeah.

Whether you know it or not, we're trying to help you.

[SCOFFS] I never asked to press charges.

That's not the way it works.

I don't know anything.

Now, how can I believe anything if I can't see your eyes?

That happen often?

I get paid for this.

You get paid to pretend to worry about it, and the world goes round.

Speak for yourself.

Everybody's pretending.

That's the way this works.

I get paid to pretend I enjoy my work.

You get paid to pretend you think yours is important.

You know what, you've wasted enough of my time.

How about you tell me who smacked you around?

I forgot.

I could care less what happened to you.

To me, you're about, what, 110 pounds of wasted skin and lipstick.

- All right - No, no.

No, no.

Hey, how much would it take for you to just give me a name?

30 bucks?

I bet you'd let me break your nose.

- That's enough.

- What?

Sorry, green is the only language she knows.

Yeah, I'll take it from here.

Detective.

I am so sorry.

I apologize for Detective Rollins' attitude.

Yeah, she's a real bitch, with a capital C.

Listen, I'm I'm Olivia Benson, and I am the lieutenant here.

- You're the boss?

- Oh, yeah.

Go figure, right?

So, Sky three guys, one girl?

You didn't stand a chance.

Manager at the hotel, right?

I knew I couldn't trust him.

Sounds like you don't trust a lot of people.

People are scum.

Yeah, some of them are, but in my experience, - most people - Oh, do not tell me they're good.

Okay.

They're not all scum.

I believe this belongs to you.

Thanks.

Well, it's the least I could do for you, Sky.

Sandy.

That's my name.

Sandy Ksenivich.

You know, sand between my toes, eyes in the sky.

Hence, Sky.

It's clever.

Guy who called said his name was Gus, but that's probably bogus.

Okay.

Tell me, what do you remember about them?

There's no detail too small.

Anything?

Uh, they had short hair.

- No hair.

- Okay.

- One of them was young.

- How young?

Maybe 20.

It was his first time.

He was sweet, actually.

"Yes, ma'am.

No, ma'am.

Thank you, ma'am.

" He was supposed to be the only one.

It was the second guy who hit me.

He was old, like Uh He wanted a freebie.

I said no way.

That's when he hit me and forced me to Sounds like r*pe.

Lieutenant's pretty good at this.

After I teed it up for her.

You were pretty convincing in there.

You okay?

When he was done, he left, and the third guy came in.

I hit him with a lamp, he started bleeding, and that's when grandpa came back and b*at the crap out of me.

Sky I just want to tell you that I am very sorry that that happened to you.

Right.

The joke's on them.

The nervous virgin left his money clip on the nightstand before any of the drama went down.

And you took it?

I earned it.

U.

S.

Army.

[MEN CHANTING] March!

Second squad, forward!

- I'm not happy about this.

- Well, think of it like this.

We're not investigating the army.

- We're looking for a r*pist.

- First squad, forward!

A lot of these guys look alike.

But only one got hit in the head with a lamp.

We need to know if anybody came in for stitches in the head on Saturday night or early Sunday morning.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to disclose personal medical records.

Hey.

See this badge?

It says NYPD.

You know what that means?

Please excuse my impertinent colleague.

I'm sure you're aware that the city has an arrangement made with the local Army bases.

Yeah, they're willing to open their files to us on any alleged crimes committed off base.

You know what, don't trouble yourself.

We'll just go back to your base commander, tell him that you refused to help us.

I'm sure he's gonna love seeing us again.

[KEYBOARD CLACKS] Sergeant Jim Preston.

Said he got cut in the gym.

Does the computer say where he is right now?

He's with the 303rd Infantry Brigade.

That's on the east side of the base.

Let's go!

Let's go!

Shaughnessy, bring it in tight.

Sergeant James Preston?

Busy here.

Detective Tutuola, NYPD.

We need to talk to you about Saturday night.

Not here.

Not in front of my soldiers.

Run it again.

Back to Sector Tango.

Now!

Move!

Hey, boss.

We'll take it from here.

Mr.

Preston.

Is it all right if I call you Jim?

- Sure.

- All right.

What can you tell me about what happened Saturday night?

You were at the Abington Hotel, room 117, with a prost*tute named Sky, right?

James Preston.

Sergeant.

United States Army.

ID number 1-2-0-1-9-0-1-0.

Okay.

Got that.

You want to tell me anything else?

James Preston.

Sergeant.

United States Army.

- [DOOR CREAKS OPEN] - ID number 1-2-0-1-9-0-1-0.

- Anything?

- Name, rank, and ID number.

Did Carisi explain we're not gonna t*rture him?

This guy wouldn't talk even if we did.

Yeah, maybe his buddy will.

I checked the base logs.

Jim clocked back in on the base with a Private William Shaughnessy.

Okay.

What do we do with him?

Let him sweat.

It's good practice.

This is a whole lot of work for a whole lot of nothing.

You want to go home?

Go home.

Right there?

Back of the formation.

Private William Shaughnessy.

I'm Private Shaughnessy.

We want to talk to you.

We're NYPD.

We want to talk to you about Saturday night.

Okay.

What's up?

You were in the city?

- Yeah.

- Who with?

No one.

Well, the log says you returned to base with Sergeant Jim Preston.

Yeah, we clocked back around the same time, but we weren't together.

You didn't hook up with a prost*tute named Sky?

I I don't know.

She's claiming she was r*ped on Saturday night, and all the evidence points to you or your buddies or all of the above.

Which means right now is your chance to tell us your side of the story.

Hey, bud r*pe one carries a sentence of 25 years in prison.

It was me.

I r*ped her.

You're admitting to raping and b*ating her?

Yeah.

Okay.

Then you're under arrest.

[HANDCUFFS CLICK] Number three is Billy Shaughnessy.

He's confessed to raping and b*ating you.

Why would he do that?

He didn't do anything bad to me.

Looks like he's willing to go down for his friends.

He's one of those trustworthy people you were talking about.

See?

They really do exist.

Yeah.

You offer absolution in your spare time?

No, no, that's That's above my pay grade.

But, um but I can offer some solace, and some hope.

Why bother?

Because it matters.

Because you matter.

And what happened to you matters.

I'll tell you what doesn't matter is why you were in that hotel that night.

That I get paid to have sex.

My priority is putting away the person who did this to you.

But I need your help.

I'll have to go to court?

You will.

Eh people looking at me, judging me You know what, Sandy?

The only opinion that matters is yours.

What can I do?

Look at the pictures, Sandy.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY] What?

The last person to call me Sandy was my mom.

She, uh, passed away a few years ago, some kind of brain thing, but I went to see her in hospice.

She didn't know who I was, but as I was leaving, she whispered, "Sandy.

" And then she d*ed.

Let me see these.

That's the guy I hit with the lamp.

Okay.

Keep going.

And that's the bastard who b*at me up and r*ped me.

Staff Sergeant Tyler Jones.

- You got her to talk.

- Well, it only takes time.

I'm sure it took more than that.

Look, I feel for her, Lieutenant.

I do, and I want a conviction as much as you, but the fact is, to a jury, her word won't be enough.

Listen, in a r*pe case, a victim's ID goes a long way.

Do you have semen?

- No.

- Hair samples?

No, but we do have fingerprints.

- From the hotel room?

- That's right.

Along with, I'm guessing, a thousand other sets of prints and God knows what else.

Look, I'm not trying to be a hardass, but we need some kind of corroboration.

And the bottom line?

If we want to nail this bastard, one of his buddies has to rat.

I said all I'm gonna say.

- Name, rank, and ID.

- That's it.

Ratting out your superior isn't an easy thing.

I was a ranger.

I get it.

You don't get it.

And you don't listen.

Come on.

I remember what it was like.

Get a couple days off to uncork.

Throw a few dollars at some ass.

You can talk to me, James.

I've seen things.

I've done things too.

The good thing is, this girl doesn't remember you doing anything to her.

You could walk on this.

James Preston.

Sergeant.

United States Army.

ID number 1-2-0-1-9-0 Then on the other hand, your blood is on the lamp.

As soon as the lab returns with the tests, we put you in that room.

I was there, but I didn't do anything.

- I didn't r*pe her.

- Who did?

Okay.

I'm thinking you did.

Turn around and put your hands behind your back.

I told you, I did it.

- I r*ped her.

- We both know that's not true.

We both know that it was Staff Sergeant Tyler Jones.

- He's an upstanding soldier.

- Right You know that night with Sky That was your first time, wasn't it?

[SCOFFS] Hell no.

She told us you were sweet and gentle.

You like her.

Your heart beats a little faster when you think about her, hmm?

What's your heart do when you When you look at that?

She was good to you, Billy, and that's what that upstanding soldier did to her.

And I know you guys live by some sort of code.

Wasn't that code violated the second Staff Sergeant Jones's fist hit her face?

Okay, and and who knows what Jim did to her, enough for her to make her swing a lamp at his head.

You're the only one that can help her, Billy.

Fine.

I'll do it.

Good man.

- Staff Sergeant.

- Yes?

- Tyler Jones?

- Yeah, who are you?

I'm the guy arresting you for r*pe.

Put your hands behind your back.

[HANDCUFFS CLICKING] Let's go.

r*pe in the first degree and as*ault in the first degree.

Ah.

The few, the proud.

Due respect, Your Honor, that's marines.

These men are army.

Ah, my bad.

Uh, let's hear some pleas.

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY] - Not guilty.

- Not guilty, Your Honor.

All right, what do we have for bail, Mr.

Stone?

Remand, Your Honor.

The defendants are active duty, and geographic reshuffling isn't out of the question.

Oh, please, the army wants the names of these fine men cleared as soon as possible.

Can I get defense counsels' word that this court will be given 48 hours written notice before these men are transferred?

- Yes, Your Honor.

- In that case, these defendants will be held on $50,000 bail, cash or bond.

And I am off to lunch.

Peter.

You are a long way from Chicago.

Well, representing our fighting men is a moveable feast.

Interesting case we've got here.

The word of a lying lady of the night against two decorated soldiers.

Save your breath.

No deals.

- She's a hooker, Peter.

- And your client's a r*pist.

[DRAMATIC TONES] - The older one.

- Staff Sergeant Tyler Jones.

That's right.

He said Billy had only been with me a couple of minutes.

He said I owed him for the rest of the money.

I said the deal was for one of them, that's it.

How did he react?

He punched me in the face.

He threw me on the bed, and then he held me down while he r*ped me.

Then what happened?

When he was done, the other one came in.

That would be Jim Preston?

Yeah, uh I wasn't about to put up with another one, so I hit him with a lamp.

That's when Tyler Jones came in again and b*at the hell out of me.

He strangled me until I passed out.

And then I I don't know what happened to me.

The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital.

Thank you, Ms.

Ksenivich.

This was just a business transaction?

Until it wasn't.

Have you ever come across a client that likes it a little rough?

They have to tell me upfront.

And you charge more?

I walk out.

I see, you're a sensitive hooker - Objection.

- Withdrawn.

So if a client says, "I'd like to give you a little pat on the butt.

" You turn him down?

No, as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

So if a client gets a little carried away, and a pat turns into a slap?

Mostly, it's okay.

So it's all a question of degree?

Sure.

So it's normal business practice to get hit?

- Objection.

- There's a certain degree of brutality that is expected in Ms.

Ksenivich's chosen field of endeavor.

And that exact degree of such brutality is one of the many items that both parties need to negotiate.

- Your Honor.

- That's enough, Mr.

Olson.

I have nothing else.

The guys made fun of me because I'd never been with a woman.

Staff Sergeant Jones, he said he was gonna put an end to that.

It's why we came to the city that night.

To find a prost*tute?

Staff Sergeant found her on the internet.

He arranged the whole thing.

Tell us what happened once you got to the hotel.

Staff Sergeant and Jimmy waited in the other room while I had sex.

And after that?

We went back to base.

Did Staff Sergeant Jones go in the bedroom with Ms.

Ksenivich?

You mean Sky?

No.

I was done, so we went home.

I'd like to read to you your testimony from the grand jury.

You don't need to read that.

I was lying back then.

I just wanted to get you and the damn cops off my back.

It's called perjury, Billy, and believe me, I will prosecute.

They yell at me.

You yell at me.

Why does everybody have to yell at me?

That's gonna be the least of your problems when you end up in prison.

They already told me!

There's no way the jury is gonna believe Sky over the Staff Sergeant.

That means you lose, Mr.

Stone.

And if you're convicted in a m*llitary court of making unsubstantiated allegations against a superior officer, you end up in Leavenworth.

I just wanted a woman.

I wanted to be a man.

I'd rather be a criminal, Mr.

Stone, than a traitor.

Can I go?

You let him go?

Just like that?

There's nothing we could have said to convince him.

He has a b*ating heart.

He has a conscience.

Which isn't going to get in the way of a loyalty that goes back 250 years.

We'll never break him.

So because he's a good man, he's gonna do the wrong thing?

Our only hope is that Jim isn't as good a man as Billy is.

You people.

You all got some balls on you.

Unforeseeable things happen in a trial.

It's just the way it is.

I said I didn't want to do this.

I said leave it alone What is your problem?

You missed a couple days' work, right?

You know what, I can I can make that up to you, Sky.

It's Sandy.

Yeah, you're You're always gonna be Sky to me.

What is it, 200, 300?

Here.

That's what you think of me?

Yeah, it is.

You know, every morning, I get up, look myself in the mirror.

You know what I see?

Not a damn thing.

I'm invisible.

Nothing.

But after you people started with me, when I looked in the mirror, I began to see a piece of someone looking back at me.

You know, it felt good.

But now, after being humiliated like that in court, that little piece of pride, or self-worth, or whatever it is you gave me is gone, and it's never coming back.

Here.

Keep your money.

Sometimes this job Is rewarding?

And life-affirming?

Yeah, no, more like, uh, makes you want to pound a fifth of Jameson.

We don't get to pick and choose our victims.

I know.

What's going on, Rollins?

[SIGHS] You okay?

Yeah.

You want to talk about it?

I'll get over it.

Okay.

Well, whatever it is, let's Let's not take it out on Sandy.

I don't know why I'm here.

I told the other guy, I've got nothing to say.

You're willing to go to prison for 25 years because your commanding officer made a stupid No, a sick decision?

What's on the table?

Misdemeanor as*ault.

He pays a fine.

Look, we're trying to help you.

We know that you didn't hurt Sandy Ksenivich.

You can let me go, you can pin a couple medals on my chest and bump me up in rank, and my answer is still no deal.

Hey, can we talk?

I think both of you are gonna want to hear this.

Lieutenant, you guys are wasting your time.

Jim Preston is never gonna testify.

We just got to break this damn m*llitary code.

It's got nothing to do with any code.

We just got the blood back from the lab tests, and it's a match for Jim, but the DNA in the blood is genetically female.

Jim Preston is a transgender man.

Well that's why he won't testify.

The courts will never uphold any law against transgender people serving in the m*llitary.

That's right, but there's a huge distance between the law and life.

Okay, here's the deal.

As of this moment, all charges against you are dropped with prejudice.

In exchange, I expect you to willingly testify against Staff Sergeant Jones.

Now get out.

If you refuse, you will be subpoenaed, and failure to appear will be met with the strictest punishment the law allows.

You'll ruin his life, if he testifies.

And if he doesn't, you'll ruin Sandy's.

It's your choice.

[DOOR SLAMS] Man, what is with you people?

I'm just trying to get something done here.

And what's in it for me?

It's a little chilly out here.

Do you mind if I join you?

[MEN SHOUTING DISTANTLY] [MEN CHANTING] Thank you.

I didn't do anything, Lieutenant.

I didn't touch her.

I know that, Jim.

I know.

I bet when you enlisted, you were in high school.

College.

You could have done anything with your life, and you chose to serve your country.

And if I testify, my country will att*ck me.

Not your country.

Some closed-minded people who work for A difference without a distinction.

I'd like to help you put Staff Sergeant in prison, but if I do, I'll be putting myself in a prison of my own making.

Kind of like the one you're in now?

You're worried how your fellow soldiers will see you?

I'm so far beyond that.

The least of my worries is having people laughing at me behind my back, craning to get a look at me in the shower.

But once I'm outed to officials, there's no going back in.

And by the stroke of a tweet sent from Air Force One, I could lose my job.

My career.

Everything I've ever worked for.

I know that things feel uncertain.

But do you get any comfort knowing that that tweet did not become a law?

Today maybe.

What about tomorrow?

I don't know what's gonna happen.

Do you?

No, I don't.

Look at me!

I'm a soldier, Lieutenant.

A damn good soldier.

I couldn't stand being stuck behind a desk.

I love what I do.

This job is who I am.

Do you have any family in the m*llitary?

- No.

- Friends?

Just the ones I made after I enlisted.

So when you enlisted, you were just being a patriot?

You just wanted to help people.

In fact, you couldn't imagine not helping people.

Believe me, I get it.

I enlisted to serve my country.

Then serve its people.

Tyler and I sat outside while Billy was in the bedroom with Sky.

When he came out, Tyler went in and closed the door.

- What happened next?

- I heard Sky scream.

- From pleasure?

- Definitely not.

But then it got quiet.

Maybe ten minutes later, Tyler came out.

I saw Sky sitting on the foot of the bed, crying, holding her face.

Then what happened?

Tyler pushed me into the room with her and slammed the door closed.

He thought I wanted to have sex with her.

- Did you?

- No.

But Sky didn't know it.

She hit me in the head with a lamp.

I needed five stitches.

What, if anything, did Staff Sergeant Jones do?

I guess he heard the lamp break or me scream.

The next thing I knew, he was in the bedroom, physically assaulting her.

b*ating the hell out of her?

That's right.

When he started strangling her, I pulled him away, and we all left.

- Are you gay, Sergeant?

- Objection!

The witness just testified that unlike most red-blooded men, he didn't want to have sex with a beautiful woman.

I'd like to know why.

Overruled.

- Are you gay, Sergeant?

- No.

- Happily married?

- No.

- So you're just confused?

- Objection.

I'm a transgender man.

I believe that's what you were getting at, Counselor.

You could have just asked me.

And because you're so interested, I'm physically able to have sex with whoever I want.

So you're saying you were once a woman?

No.

I was always a man.

But your birth certificate says "female.

" - Am I right?

- Objection, relevance?

I'm just trying to establish that Sergeant Preston has been less than honest.

- Your Honor?

- My point is, how can we trust a single word this witness says because he's been lying to the army for years!

Actually, it's in my medical forms, sir.

Yeah, but your friends, your foxhole buddies, they don't know the real you, do they?

I am the real me.

My gender identity isn't relevant to what I do.

Just as whatever's in your pants isn't relevant to what you do.

Then tell me this, Sergeant.

How can we be sure that telling the truth here today is relevant?

Objection.

Withdrawn.

For the record, in exchange for your testimony here today, the state has agreed to drop all charges against you.

Isn't that right?

Yes.

Right.

I'm done.

Has the jury reached a verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

On the charge of r*pe in the first degree, how do you find?

We find the defendant, Tyler Jones, guilty.

Members of the jury, the State of New York thanks you for your service.

You didn't have to do this.

No.

No, an apology is due.

Well, accepted, but you don't have to pretend you like me.

Truth is, I didn't.

Because of what I do.

Um actually, I've been, um dating this cardiologist, and I thought things were going great, until he left his credit card statement out, and it turns out, while I've been working late, Dr.

Al has been running around with escorts.

Working girls who take Amex.

[STAMMERS] I've counseled hundreds of women, but when it happens to you, you wonder what do they have that I don't?

From my experience, guys don't come to girls like me because their ladies are lacking something.

They come because they are.

And the sad thing is, they're never gonna find it