Perks of being a Wallflower, The

[bunniefuu]

Dear friend,

I am writing to youbecause she said you listenand understand.
And didn't try to sleepwith that personat that party
Even though you could have.
Please, don't tryto figure out who I am.
I don't want you to do tha.
I just need to knowthat people like you exist.
Like, if you met meyou wouldn't
Think I was the weird kidwho spent timein the hospital.
And I wouldn'tmake you nervous.
I hope it's okayfor me to think that.
You see, I haven'treally talked to anyone
Outside of my familyall summer.
But tomorrow is my first dyof high school ever.
And I need toturn things around.
So I have a plan.
As I enter the schoolfor the first time,
I will visualizewhat it will be like
On the last dayof my senior year.
Unfortunately,I counted and that's...

Hop, freshman toads!
Hop! Let's move it!

days from now.

We worked out all summer.
Rock hard!

Hey, you know what?
Why don't you guys get a room?

Just days.

In the meantime, I'd hopdthat my sister candaceand her boyfriend derek

Would have let me eat lunchwith their earth club.

Seniors only.

What are you doing with that plastic spork?

I don't wanna bring back silverware.

Derek, you're earth club treasurer. Come on!

When my sister said "no,"I thoughtMaybe my old friend susanwould wannahave lunch with me.

In middle school,susan was very funto be around,

But now she doesn'tlike to say "hi"to me anymore.

Before my older brotherwent to play footballfor penn state,

He and brad played togethe,

So I thought maybehe'd say "hi" to me.

But brad's a senior.

And I'm me.
So who am I kidding?

On the bright side,One senior decidedto make fun of the teachrinstead of the freshmen.

He even drewon mr. Callahan'slegendary goatee

With a grease pencil.

The prick punch is not a toy.

I learned that back in 'nam in ' .

"callahan," sergeant said,

"you put down that prick punch...

"you go k*ll some gooks."

And you know what happened?

That prick punch k*lled my best friend in a saigon whorehouse.

I heard you were gonna be in my class.

Are you proud to be a senior

Having to take freshman shop, patty-cakes?

Look, my name is patrick.

Either you call me patrick or you call me nothing.

Okay... Nothing.

I felt reallybad for patrick.

He wasn't doing the impersonation to be mean or anything.

He was just trying to make us freshmen feel better.

Nothing, why don't you read first?

All right. "chapter one.

"surviving your fascist shop teacher,

"who needs to put kids down to feel big."

Oh, wow, this is useful, guys.
We should read on.

My last class of the dayis advanced english,

And I'm really excitedto finally learn

With the smartest kidsin the school.

Nice trapper keeper, f*gg*t.

Believe it or not,she's gotten straight assince kindergarten.

Shh!

I'm mr. Anderson.

I'm gonna be your teacher for freshman english.

This semester we're gonna learn about

Harper lee's to k*ll a mockingbird.

Genius book.

Now who'd like to get out of the first pop quiz?

I'm shocked. All right.
Well, you can skip the quiz

If you tell me which author invented the paperback book.

Anyone?

He was british.

He also invented the serial.

In fact, at the end of

The third chapter of his first novel,

He had a man hanging from a cliff by his fingernails.

Hence the term "cliffhanger."

Anybody?

Yeah?
Shakespeare.

That's a great guess, but no.

Shakespeare didn't write novels.

Anybody else?

Hmm?

The author...

...Was charles dickens.

However, if you and I had gone to a shakespeare play,

It would have cost us four pennies.

Can you imagine that?

We would have put those pennies in a metal box.

The ushers would lock it in the office.

And that's where we get the term...

Cash register.

Office max.

Except the final term paper if you get it right.

Box office.

(students sighing with disappointment)

You should learn to participate.

Why didn't you raise your hand?

They call you the "teacher's pet"?

"freak"? That kinda thing?

I used to get "spaz."

I mean, come on, "spaz"?

You know, I heard you had a tough time last year.

But they say if you make one friend

On your first day, you're doing okay.

Thank you, sir, but if my english teacher

Is the only friend I make today,

That would be sorta depressing.

Yeah, I can see that.

Don't worry, mr. Anderson, I'm okay.

Thanks.

I would happily not take shop...

Hey, freshman toad.

Well, I have days to go.

Just so I say it to someon,

High school is even worsethan middle school.

If my parentsask me about it,

I probably won'ttell them the truth,

To worry thatI might get bad again.

If my aunt helenwere still here,I could talk to her

And I knowshe would understand

How I'm both happy and sad.

And I'm still tryingto figure out howthat could be.

I just hopeI make a friend soon.

Love always, charlie.

Charlie? Come on.

Mmm.

This chicken paprikash is delicious.

Thank you, derek.
It's charlie's favorite.

He was a little nervous about starting high school today

So I made it for him.

Feel a little silly about being nervous now, huh, champ?

Yes, sir. I sure do.

I told you, just give 'em a smile

And be yourself.

That's how you...

Make friends in the real world.

You're cruisin' for a bruisin'.

Freshman year is tough, but

You really find yourself.

Thanks, derek.

You could have been a little nicer to derek.

I'm sorry, the kid's a p*ssy.
I can't stand him.

I really hope you love the mix tape I made.

I do.

The cover is hand-painted.

Oh, wow.

Hey, charlie, you want this?

Are you sure?

He gives me one every week.

Hey, babe.

This next onemight be a little sad

But it reminded meof your eyes.

(soft alternative rock playing)

Did you already do the term paper on to k*ll a mockingbird?

No.

Let's go, devils!

Right.
Come on, offense!

Hey, nothing.
Hey, nothing.

Oh, suck it, virginity pledges.

Suck it.

Oh, you're in trouble now, jaguars!

Hey, patrick.

Hey. You're in my shop class, right?

How's your clock coming?

My dad's building it for me.

Yeah. Mine looks like a boat.

You wanna sit over here or are you waiting for your friends?

No, no, no, I'll sit.

Thanks for not calling me nothing by the way.

It's an endless nightmare.

And these assholes, they actually think they're being original.

So do you like football?

Love it. Love football.

Maybe you know my brother then.

Hey, sam.

Question. Could the bathrooms here be more disgusting?

Yes. They call it the men's room.

Oh. So I finally got hold of bob.

Party tonight?

He's still trying to shag that waitress from the olive garden.

Ah! He's never tossing that salad.

Come on!

Patrick.

Yeah?

Who's this?

This is...

Charlie kelmeckis.

Kelmeckis?

No sh*t? Your sister's dating ponytail derek. Isn't she?

God.

Is that what they call him?

Would you leave ponytail derek alone?

You put the "ass" in "class," patrick.

I try. Sam, I try.

It's nice to meet you, charlie.
I'm sam.

So, sam, what's the plan?

Are we going to mary elizabeth's tonight?

Nope. She got caught watering down

Her parents' brandy with ice tea.

Ugh!
Let's just go to kings.

All right. We're goin' to kings

After the game if you wanna come.

Do you have a favorite band?

Well, I think the smiths are my favorite.

Are you kidding?

I love the smiths.
Best breakup band ever.

Asleep.It's from louder than bombs.

I heard it on ponytail derek's mix tape.

Oh, that works on so many levels.

I can make you guys a copy if you want.

What about eides?
You love eides, right?

Yeah, of course.
They're great.

Not a band, charlie.

It's a record store downtown.

Things sound so much better on vinyl.

You know, I used to be popular

Before sam got me some good music.

So you be careful.
She'll ruin your life forever.

That's okay.

Hey, nothing.

Hey, nothing.

Let it go! Jesus!

It's an antique joke.

It's over.

So what are you gonna do when you get outta this place?

Well, my aunt helen said I should be a writer,

But I don't know what I'd write about.

You could write about us.

Yeah! Call it slut and the falcon.

Make us solve crimes.

You guys seem really happy together.

How long have you been boyfriend and girlfriend?

He's not my boyfriend.

He's my stepbrother.

My mom finally left my worthless dad

And married his nice dad when we moved here.

But she's not bitter or anything.
Make no mistake.

Absolutely not.

Charlie, I'm not a bulimic.

I'm a bulim-ist.

I'm sorry, I don't know what that is.

She just really believes in bulimia.

I love bulimia!

Hey. Thanks for paying, charlie.

Oh, no problem.
Thank you guys for the ride.

Maybe I'll see you around in school?

God, would you turn it down?
You're gonna make us deaf.

So be it.
It's rock and roll.

Bye, charlie!

Bye, charlie.

Okay, bye.

Your mom says,

Shh! Shh! "don't go to columbia!"

Do you always want to be a mama's boy, derek?

I am not a mama's boy!

You are, because every single time I go to your house...

Every single time!

Shut up, candace!

You just stand there like a little bitch dog.

No, charlie.

Charlie, just go, I can handle it.

Just don't wake up mom and dad.

Hey! Look who's here.

Welcome home, aunt helen.

Aww! Look at you guys.

Dressed so nice.

Hey, candace...

What are you doing?

Look, I egged him on.

You saw it.

He's never hit me before

And I promise you, he will never hit me again.

Like aunt helen's boyfriends?

Charlie, this is ponytail derek.

I can handle him.

Please, don't tell mom and dad.

Oh my god, they're playing good music!

Holy sh*t! They are!
They're playing good music.

Living room routine.

Living room routine.

Yes.
Yes!

Excuse us.
Excuse me. Pardon.

Sorry.

Get out of the way!
Get out of the way!

Oh!

Oh!

God, it's freezing!

But you wore that toasty costume.

It's not like it's cute or original,

You'd hope it would be warm.

Yeah, piss off, tennessee tuxedo. are you sure it's okay that I come?

Yeah, of course.

Just remember, charlie, bob's not paranoid.

He's sensitive.

Sam!

That waitress from the olive garden, she was such a tease.

Oh.

Will you marry me?

Only with patrick's blessing.

Patrick?
You are a hopeless stoner who attends the culinary institute.

I'm gonna say "no" on that, but nice try. Charlie.

Oh, touche.

So, charlie.
This is a party.

This is what fun looks like.

Are you ready to meet some desperate women?

Here, have a seat.

Hey, ladies.

Meet charlie.

Hi.
Meet ladies.

Mary elizabeth.

Alice.

Nice to meet you.

This is charlie's first party ever.

So I expect nice, meaningful, heartfelt blowjobs from both of you.

Mary elizabeth: Patrick, you're such a d*ck.

Where the hell did you go?

The dance was a little boring, don't you think?

You are so selfish.

We looked everywhere for you.
You could have told someone.

Mary elizabeth: Cry me a river.

How is it that you've got meaner since becoming a buddhist?

Just lucky, I guess.

No, you're doing something wrong, I think.

Mmm. Or something very right.

Yeah, well...
Hey!

Look who's here.

Is that brad hays?

Yeah. He comes here sometimes.

But he's a popular kid.

Hmm.
Then what are we?

Oh, charlie! You look like you could use a brownie.

Thank you.

I was so hungry at the dance.
I was gonna go to kings

But didn't really have any time.

Thanks.

Have you guys felt this carpet?

This carpet feels so darn good.

Charlie, charlie, what do you think about high school?

High school?

Bullshit.

The cafeteria is called the nutrition center.

People wear their letter jackets

Even when it's degrees out.

And why do they give out

Letter jackets to marching band?

It's not a sport.

We all know it.

Mary elizabeth:
This kid is crazy.

Mary elizabeth, I think you're really gonna regret that,

You know, haircut

When you look back at old photographs.

Oh my god!

I'm really sorry.
That sounded like a compliment in my head.

My god!

Well, it's kinda true.

Shut up!

I can't even be mad at him.
Look at him.

Bob, did you get him stoned?

Come on, sam, he likes it, just look at him.

How do you feel, charlie?

I just really want a milkshake.

Sam...

You have such pretty brown eyes.

The kind of pretty that deserves to make

A big deal about itself though, you know what I mean?

Okay, charlie.
Let me make the milkshake.

Mmm. What a great word.
Milkshake.

It's like when you

Say your name over and over again in the mirror

And after a while it sounds crazy.

So I'm guessing you've never been high before?

No. No, no, no.

My best friend Michael, his dad was a big drinker

So he hated all that stuff.

Parties, too.

Well, where is Michael tonight?

Oh, he sh*t himself last may.

I kinda wished he'd left a note.

You know what I mean?

Where's the bathroom?

It's up the stairs.

Thanks, sam.

You're so nice.

Charlie.

Weird.

Oh.

Charlie.

What...

Who was that kid?

Relax, relax, he's a friend of mine.

Stay here.

I didn't see anything.

Yeah, I know you saw something, but it's okay.

Okay, listen...

Brad doesn't want anyone to know.

Wait.

Are you baked?

Like a cake.

That's what bob said.

And you can't have three on a match because then they'd find us.

And everybody laughed but I don't understand what's funny.

Okay, charlie, listen.

I need you to promise

That you're not gonna say anything

To anyone about me and brad.

Okay? This has to be our little secret.

Our little secret. Agreed.

Okay.

Thank you.

I look forward to that big talk.

Mary elizabeth:
Can I have your cherry?

Mmm-hmm.
Thanks.

Isn't this the best milkshake ever, alice?

It's even better than the first one.

Charlie just told me

That his best friend sh*t himself.

I don't think he has any friends.

Hey, everyone!

Everybody!

Everyone

Raise your glasses to charlie.

What did I do?

You didn't do anything.

We just wanna toast to our new friend.

You see things.

And you understand.

You're a wallflower.

What is it? What's wrong?

I didn't think anyone noticed me.

Well, we didn't think there was anyone cool left to meet.

So come on, everyone.

To charlie.

To charlie.

Welcome to the island of misfit toys.

Oh my god!
What is this song?

Right? I have no idea.

Have you ever heard this before?

Never.

Patrick, we've gotta go through the tunnel.

Sam, it's freezing.

Patrick, it's the perfect song.

No. Mama patrick says "no."

Patrick. It's sam.
It's sam speaking to you right now.

I'm begging you to do this for me.

I concede!

What is she doing?

Oh, don't worry.
She does it all the time.

Turn it up!

You got it, your highness.

What?

I feel infinite.

Dear friend,

I'm sorry I haven't
written for a while

But I've been trying hard
not to be a loser.

For example,
I'm trying to participate

By listening
to sam's collection
of big rock ballads

And thinking about love.

Sam says they're
kitschy and brilliant.

I completely agree.

I'm also writing essays
and studying extra books
outside of class.

As it turns out,
mr. Anderson is a writer.

He even had a play
put up in new york once,

Which I think
is very impressive.

Great gatsby?

He and his wife
might go back there
after this year.

I know this is selfish,
but I really hope he doesn't.

My favorite time,
though, is lunch

Because I get to see
sam and patrick.

We spend the time working n
mary elizabeth's fanzine

About music and
the rocky horror
picture show.

It's called punk rocky.

Mary elizabeth
is really interesting,

Because she's a buddhist
and a punk.

But somehow she always
acts like my father
at the end of a long day.

Her best friend alice
loves vampires

And wants to go
to film school.

She also steals jeans
from the mall.

I don't know why,
because her family is rich,

Especially since I know
that they were all there
for patrick last year.

Patrick never likes
to be serious,

So it took me a while
to get what happened.

When he was a junior,
patrick started seeing brad
on the weekends in secret.

I guess it was hard, too,

Because brad had to
get drunk every time
they fooled around.

Then Monday in school,
brad would say,

"man, I was so wasted
I don't remember a thing"

This went on for seven months.

When they finally did it,
brad said he loved patrick.

Then he started to cry.

No matter what patrick did,

Brad kept saying that
his dad would k*ll him.

And saying that
he was going to hell.

Patrick was eventually
able to help brad get sobe.

I asked patrick
if he felt sad

That he still had
to keep it a secret.

And he said "no",
because at least now

Brad doesn't have to
get drunk to love him.

I think I understand,
because I really like sa.

I asked my sister
about her

And she said that
when sam was a freshman,

The upperclassmen used to
get her drunk at parties.

I guess she had a reputation.

I'd hate for her
to judge me based on
what I used to be like.

So I've been making her
a mix tape so she'll know
how I feel.

Oh, sh*t!

C!
C!

Give me a k!
K!

Give me a y!
Y!

What's that spell?

Rocky!

I can't hear you!

Rocky!

One more time!

Rocky!

♪ whatever happened to fay wray?

She went ape-sh*t.

♪ that delicate

♪ satin-draped frame?

♪ as it clung to her thih

♪ how I started to cry

♪ 'cause I wanted to be dressedjust the same

♪ give yourself over

♪ to absolute pleasure

♪ swim the warm waters

♪ of sins of the flesh

♪ erotic nightmares

♪ beyond any measure

♪ and sensual daydreams

♪ to treasure forever

♪ can't you just see it?

♪ whoa ho whoa!

♪ don't dream it

♪ be it

That picture is gorgeous, craig. What did you use?

Oh, I know. Thank you.

Color film, but black and white paper for printing.

Yeah. My professor gave me an a

But for all the wrong reasons.

Most of them are idiots.

You'll see what I mean when you get to college.

How'd your sats go, by the way?

. I think I'll get into nyu.

Yeah, I hope so.

. Harvard. Face.

So...

Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

But I got my sat results back.

Oops.

You can take them again, you know.

Yeah, it's just, if I'm going to penn state main campus, I have to do much better.

I wish I would have studied freshman year.

It's a bit of a mess.

I'll help you study for the next one.

Will you?

Yeah. Of course.

Thanks, charlie.

What's this?

It's just a mix tape.
No big deal.

My parents have a good stereo, so...

It's all about that night in the tunnel.

I couldn't find that song that we were listening to

But, you know, I'm still searching for it, so yeah.

That's okay.

These are great.

Nick drake.

The shaggs.

You have really good taste, charlie.

Really?

Yeah.

Way better than me as a freshman.

I used to listen to the worst top .

No.
Yeah, I did.

Then I heard this old song.

Pearly dewdrops' drop.

And I thought someday I'd be at a party in college or something

And I'd look up and see this person across the room.

And from that moment, I'd know

Everything was going to be okay.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I hope it works out.

I don't know.

Craig would be a big step up from her last boyfriend.

Mary elizabeth: Yeah, no sh*t.

Who could forget mr. Car wash loser?

I just hope she can stop playing dumb with these guys.

I keep telling her, "don't make yourself small."

Can't save anybody.

Mary elizabeth: Excuse me.

Man, your mix is morbidly sad, kid.

How about something a little bit more upbeat, huh?

Let's just see.

So sam tells me you wanna be a writer.

Yeah.

Don't you write poetry, craig?

Poetry writes me. You know?

Let's get this party started.

Wow.

That was fast.

You want another one?

Yeah.

All right.

Mr. Anderson?

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?

Are we talking about anyone specific?

Well...

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Can we make them know that they deserve more?

We can try.

Hey.

Hey, sam. Didn't see you come in.

How's it goin'?

You wanna start work on probability and statistics?

Yeah. Sure.

Page in your book.

And I ordered you some breakfast.

The country breakfast.

Dad?

Can I have dollars?

Twenty dollars?
What do you need dollars for?

Sam's doing secret santa.

It's her favorite thing in the world. Please?

Have fun.

Thanks.

Hmm!

Charlie.

This was my favorite book growing up.

This is my copy, but I want you to have it.

Thanks.

Have a great christmas break.

You, too, mr. Anderson.

Terrible stain.

That's pretty good, charlie.

You gotta be kidding me.

If you fail me, you get me next semester.

Whoo!

C minus!
Ladies and gentlemen, I am below average!

Below average!
Below average!

Guys, . What?

No more applications!
No more sats!

Thank you, charlie!

All right. All right, guys, I got...

Multiple pairs of blue jeans.

Wow, this is a really tough one,

But I'm gonna have to guess alice.

Wait.

Guys, a receipt!
She actually paid!

I'm so touched!

Where's craig?

Oh, he went home to connecticut.

But he'll be back for new year's eve.

Sorry we won't be seeing him tonight.

All right, big brother by three weeks, who's your secret santa?

I'll tell you, sam...

This one's tough.

I have received a harmonica, A magnetic poetry set,

A book about harvey milk,

And a mix tape with the song asleep on it,

Twice.

I mean, I have no idea.

This collection of presents is so gay

That I think I must have given them to myself.

But despite that distinct possibility.

I'm gonna have to go with...

Drum roll.

Charlie.

Oh!

Obviously.

Mary elizabeth: Beautifully done.

All right, charlie.
It's your turn.

Okay.

Okey dokey.

I have received socks, pants, a shirt and a belt.

I was ordered to wear them all tonight, so...

Guessing my secret santa is mary elizabeth.

Huh.
Now why do you say that?

You know, she bosses people around sometimes.

Sorry.

What the hell is wrong with you?

You'll be surprised to know that your secret santa

Is actually me.

Why all the clothes?

Well, all the great writers used to wear great suits.

So your last present is on a towel rack in the bathroom.

Delve into our facilities.

Emerge a star.

Perfect.

Will you hand these out while I'm gone?

Mary elizabeth: Wait a second.

There's only secret santa presents.
There's rules.

Mary elizabeth, why are you trying to eat christmas?

Hand them out, sam.

All right. Mary elizabeth.
For you.

Alice.

Thanks.

Bob.

And this one's for me.

"alice, I know you'll get into nyu."

Forty dollars to print punk rockyin color next time.

He knows me.

He really knows me.

All right, charlie...

Come on out.

Get out here, buddy.

Come on, charlie. Charlie!

Don't be shy.

Come out, come out, wherever...

Oh!
Yeah!

What a display of man I have never seen!

Where are we going?

It's a surprise.

Is this your room?

Mmm-hmm.

So cool.

Thanks.

You got me a present?

After all your help on my penn state application?

Of course I did.

Open it!

I don't know what to say.

You don't have to say anything.

I'm really sorry we can't be here for your birthday.

I'm just sorry you have to go back and visit your dad.

I'm in such a good mood I don't think even he could ruin it.

I feel like I'm finally doing good.

You are.

Well, what about you?

When I met you, you were this scared freshman.

Now look at you in that suit.

You're like a sexy english schoolboy.

I saw mary elizabeth checking you out.

No.

Innocent.

Worst kinda guys.

Never see you coming.

And parents love you.

That's like

Extra danger.

Yeah, well, it hasn't worked so far.

You've never had a girlfriend?

Not even like a second grade valentine?

Nope.

Have you ever kissed a girl?

No.

What about you?

Have I ever kissed a girl?

No, no. Your first kiss.

I was .

His name was robert.

He used to come over to the house all the time.

Was he your first boyfriend?

He was my...

He was my dad's boss.

You know, charlie, I used to sleep with guys who treated me like sh*t.

And get wasted all the time.

But now I feel like...

I have a chance. Like...

I can even get into a real college.

It's true. You can do it.

You really think so?

My aunt had that same thing done to her, too.

And she turned her life around.

She must have been great.

She was my favorite person in the world.

Until now.

Charlie...

I know that you know I like craig.

But I want to forget about that for a minute, okay?

Okay.

I just wanna make sure that the first person who kisses you

Loves you.

Okay?

Okay.

I love you, charlie.

I love you, too.

I wanna do secret santa forever!

Have a good time at your mom's.

Thanks.
And, listen, charlie.

Because your birthday's on christmas eve,

I figure you don't get that many presents?

I thought you should have my clock.

From the heart.

Thank you, patrick.

Bye.

Have a good one, guys.

I love you guys!

(christmas carol playing distantly)

Hey!

Look who's here.

Come here, little sister.

Hey, chris.

Hey, honey.

Ma, you look so thin.

You. Look at you.

Charlie.

Come on,
I got dinner ready.

Happy birthday.
Thanks.

Let's eat.

Make a wish, honey.

Can you see it, charlie?

The luminaria is a landing strip for santa claus.

Why don't you keep an eye out for him

And I will be right back. Okay?

going to get your birthday present.

Hey.

Hey.

God, I miss mom's cooking.

You have no idea how good you have it.

I'm actually starting to hate pizza.

Mmm.

So how you liking school?

Well, I'm no braniac like you or candace.

I'm doing okay.

Okay? You're playing in a bowl game.

How are you feeling, charlie?

Good.

No, you know what I mean.

Is it bad tonight?

No.

No.

I'm not picturing things anymore.

Or if I do, I can just shut it off.

Well, you know, mom did say

That you have good friends now.

And maybe if it does get bad again,

You can just talk to them. Yeah?

Yeah.

Especially sam.
She's great.

I'm gonna ask her out at new year's.

I think the time is right now.

Body of christ.
Amen.

Body of christ.
Amen.

Body of christ.
Amen.

Body of christ.
Amen.

How long does this take to work?

Shovelin' snow, huh?

I have to get this driveway clean.

And then, I'm going to congratulate you on being happy.

'cause you deserve it.

You said that an hour ago.

Was that tonight?

Oh, I just

Saw this tree, but it was a dragon.

Then it was a tree again and it just lied to me.

Okay, charlie, don't freak out.
Give me this.

Calm down.

Look up.

Isn't it quiet?

Sam, do you think if people knew

How crazy you really were, no one would ever talk to you?

All the time.

So you wanna wear these glasses?

They'll protect you.

, , , ,

, , ,

, , !

It's gonna be our little secret.

Did your older friends pressure you?

No one pressured me, officer.

I would never do dr*gs.

Never.

Then how did you happen to be passed out

On the ground at : in the morning?

Well, I...

You know, I was really tired.

And I was feeling feverish,

So I went outside for a walk just to get some cold air.

I started seeing things, so I passed out.

You're seeing things again, charlie?

not really.

Nice suit.

It was a christmas present.

Did you have fun on your break?

More fun than you're gonna have today, sinatra.

Nice look, jag-off.

Sam: I've called him times.

Well, what are we supposed to do?

We're going on in minutes.

They said in health class...
Hello?

They say that about lsd just to scare you.

Are you sure?
You know I've seen...

Charlie, you're fine, man.

Guys, we have an emergency.

Craig has flaked out on us again.

So I need a rocky.

Brad?

No. No way. No. I'm not...

There's people out there. No.

Charlie, take off your clothes.

♪ then if anything grows


♪ while you pose

♪ I'll oil you up
and rub you down

Alice and mary elizabeth:
♪ down, down, down

♪ and that's just
one small fraction
of the main attraction

♪ you need a friendly hand

♪ and I need action

♪ toucha toua
toucha touche

♪ I wanna be dirty

♪ thrill me, chill me,
fulfill me

♪ creature of the night

Maybe I can join the cast as an alternate or something.

Well, we're filled up now,

But they're gonna need people when we go to college.

We could put in a good word for you.

That'd be great. Thanks.

Yeah.

Charlie...

Have you heard of the sadie hawkins dance?

The one where the girl asks the guy?

Obviously, it is completely stupid.

And sexist. I mean, it's like "hey, thanks for the crumb."

And normally, I would just blow it off, because

School dances suck t*rture.

But, you know, it's my last year and...

Would you maybe wanna go with me?

You wanna go with me?

Yeah, I'm sick of macho guys.

Plus you looked really cute in your costume.

So what do you say?

You must be mary elizabeth.

Yes.

It's so nice to meet you.

You, too, mrs. Kelmeckis.

Charlie tells me you're a buddhist.

Please, come in.

Okay.

A little closer together.

That looks nice.
Hmm.

Buddhist, I need you to smile a little bit more.

There you go. Nice.

Hey.

Hey.

Are you having a good time?

Not really. How about you?

I mean, I don't know.

It's my first date, I don't have much to compare it to.

You're doing fine.

Sorry craig couldn't come.

Yeah. He said he didn't want to go to

Some stupid high school dance.

I can't say
I blame him really.

I don't know.
If you like it, he should come.

Thanks, charlie.

Have a beautiful first date.

You deserve it.

I'll try not to make you too jealous.

Mmm!

Now just let it breathe.

Whoa.

It sure is a nice house.

Thanks.

(old slow rock and roll playing)

Mmm.

Don't you just love old music?

Yeah.

Good. 'cause I made you a mix of it.

I'd love to expose you to great things like

Billie holiday and foreign films.

This merlot is really fancy.

Yeah. My dad collects wine, but he doesn't drink.

That's kinda weird, isn't it?

I guess.

Where are your parents?

Their club is hosting a cotillion or something r*cist.

They'll be gone all night.

Sure is a nice fire.

Yeah.

When I'm done being a lobbyist,

I wanna move to a house like this in cape cod.

Sounds nice, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Your heart is b*ating really fast.

Is it?

Here. Feel.

Charlie?
Uh-huh?

Do you like me?

Uh-huh.

You know what I mean.

I think so.

Don't be nervous.

Charlie.

I didn't know how tonight was gonna go, but...

It's really nice, isn't it?

Yeah.

I just can't believe it.

You, of all people.

I just can't believe you're my boyfriend.

sh*t! My parents! sh*t!

Here, zip this up.
Okay. No, I got this.

Just zip it up like a normal zipper!

It's stuck. It's just...

Thank you.

See you Monday.

Dear friend,

Sorry I haven't
written for a while,

But things
are a total disaster.

We're literally making out and I'm in my bra...

I probably should
have been honest about

How I didn't want to
go out with mary elizabeh
after sadie's, but...

I really didn't want
to hurt her feelings.

You see, mary elizabeth
is a really nice person

Underneath the part of hr
that hates everyone.

And since I heard that
having a girlfriend
makes you happy,

I tried hard to love her
like I love sam.

Can you believe it's almost our -week anniversary?

Yeah, I know.

So I took her
on double dates.

First foreign film.

Do you want butter on your popcorn?

Vegans don't eat butter.

Charlie:
And I tried not to mind

Even when her hands
are sweaty.

And I had to admit somethig
really upsetting, but...

I'm tired of
touching her boobs.

I thought maybe
if she would just let me
pick the make-out music

Once in a while,
we might have a chance.

And maybe if she didn't
put down the books
that mr. Anderson gives me.

Walden.

I read this in th grade.

I would have called it
on boring pond.

Or if she would
stop calling me

When I have absolutely
nothing to talk about
other than the bus ride home.

Somehow she finds
new things to say.

Mary elizabeth on phone:
That dairy just sits with you.

You know, it walks with yo.

She's on the phone
right now?

Charlie, you've gotta break up with her.

I can do that?

For christ's sake, I need to use the phone.

Mary elizabeth on phone:
I got you this book.

It's really how
I became a vegan.

But I was getting so mad,
it was starting to scare m.

I just wish
I could have found
another way to break up.

Um, mary elizabeth, can I talk to you...

In hindsight, I probaby
could not have picked

A worse way
to be honest with
mary elizabeth.

Truth or dare?

Who are you talking to?

I dare you to kiss alice.

Oh.

Gird your loins, procreator.

Oh, my god.

Mary elizabeth, samantha told me that

You got into harvard.
Congratulations.

Thank you. This one still hasn't gotten me flowers.

But I forgive you.

Hey, don't worry about penn state.

You're just wait-listed.

Yeah.

You guys are about to miss

Some severely hot f*g-on-goth action.

(all exclaiming in disgustand surprise)

Wow.

Mary elizabeth:
Get a room.

Patrick: Mmm! You're a monster.

My turn. Let's see.

Let's think. Charlie.

Truth.

How's your first relationship going?

It's so bad

That I keep fantasizing that one of us is dying of cancer.

So that I don't have to break up with her.

Charlie?

Truth or dare?

Hello?

Dare.

Okay, I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room...

On the lips.

And notice I charitably said "girl" and not "person",

Because, let's face it, I'd smoke all you b*tches.

Oh, that's f*cked up.

Mary elizabeth.

I'm so sorry.

It was a mistake, I'm sorry.

Sam? Sam?

I really didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I should go back and apologize.

Charlie, trust me, you don't wanna go back in there.

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do anything.
I know you didn't.

But, look...

I hate to be the one to break this,

But there's history with mary elizabeth and sam.

Other guys and things that have nothing to do with you.

It's best if you just stay away for a while.

Oh, okay.

How long do you think?

Charlie, come on, get dressed.

You're gonna be late for easter mass.

I'll be there in a minute.

Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us...

Mary elizabeth, I've been listening

To the billie holiday cd every night.

Mary elizabeth on phone:
It's too late, charlie.

I know.
I just feel really bad about what I did.

I just get so messed up inside.

Like I'm not there or something.

Mary elizabeth:
Tell it to someone
who cares.

Look, I know. I'm sorry.

Just we've all become such good friends.

Good friends?

Do you mean the peope
that I've known
since kindergarten

And you've known
for six months?
Those good friends?

Yeah, I mean, I just don't wanna do anything to ruin our relationship.

It's ruined. Okay?

So stop calling everyone.
Stop embarrassing yourse.

Okay, I will. Good...

Something's wrong with me.

Don't worry about it.

Hey...

Have you heard from patrick?

No, he told me to stay away.

Oh. You don't know.

Why? Why? What happened?

Brad's father caught them together.

Some kids jumped him outside the o.

No, it was some kids from north hills.

Girl :
Did you see his face?

Girl :
That's not what I heard.

Are you okay?

Not now, charlie.
I'm sorry.

Hey, nothing.

Oops. Sorry, nothing.

You gonna do anything?

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about your pet ape just tripped me.

Gonna say something?

Why would I?
You know why.

This is pathetic, man.
Your fixation on me.

Do you want your friends to know how you got those bruises? Really?

I got jumped in a parking lot.

Where? Schenley park?

Do you guys know about schenley park?

Do your friends know...

I don't know what kinda sick sh*t you're trying to pull

But you better walk away right now.

Nothing.

Fine.

Say "hi" to your dad for me.

Whatever, f*gg*t.

What did you just call me?
Just called you a f*gg*t.

Say that sh*t again!
Say that damn...

It's patrick!

Leave him alone!

Sam!

Stop! Leave him! Stop!

Stop!

Touch my friends again and I'll blind you.

Charlie?

Yeah?

Thanks for stopping 'em.

Sure, brad.

How you doing, charlie?

I don't know.

I keep trying, but I can't really remember what I did.

Do you want me to tell you?

Yeah.

You saved my brother.

That's what you did.

So you're not scared of me?

No.

Can we be friends again?

Of course.

Come on.

Let's go be psychos together.

I'm dating peter now.

He's in college with craig.

He's opinionated.
We have intellectual debates.

You were very sweet but our relationship was too one-sided.

I know this is hard for you.

I'm just glad that you're happy.

Okay.

Hey, craig, sam'll be down. Soon.

Oy vey.
We're gonna miss the movie.

Yeah, I'll go put some pep in her step.
Don't worry.

Hello?

Hey. Do you wanna get out of here?

Sure, patrick.

I'll tell you something, charlie,

I feel good.
You know what I mean?

Maybe tomorrow
I'll take you

To this karaoke place downtown.

And this club off the strip.
They don't card.

And the schenley park scene.

You have to see the fruit loop at least one time.

(patrick howling
enthusiastically)

Oh, my god.

My life is officially an after-school special.

Son of a bitch!

It really is.

It so is.

So, you ever hear the one about lily miller?

I don't know.

Really?

I thought your brother would have told you.
It's a classic.

Maybe.

Okay, lily comes here one night with this guy parker.

And this was to be the night that they were gonna lose their virginity.

So she did it really proper.
She packed a picnic.

Stole a bottle of wine.

Everything was perfect and they're just about to 'do it.'

When they realize they forgot the condoms.

So what do you think happened?

I don't know.

They did it with one of the sandwich bags.

Ew!

Oh, that's disgusting!

Yes, it is.

Come on! Let's keep the train rolling.

Suburban legend, charlie.

Well...

There's this girl named second base stace.

And, well, she had boobs in th grade.

Mosquito bites.
Promising. Go.

And she let some of the guys feel them.

That's your suburban legend?

Yeah.

Did you at least cop a feel?

No.

No. Of course not.
You went home,

Listened to asleep, wrote a poem...

Fine. Okay. Your turn.

Hmm.

Yeah. I've got one.

Well...

There's this one guy.

q*eer as a -dollar bill.

The guy's father doesn't know about his son.

So he comes into the basement one night

When he's supposed to be out of town.

Catches his son with another boy.

So he starts b*ating him.

But not like the slap kind.
Like, the real kind.

And the boyfriend

Says, "stop.
You're k*lling him."

But the son just yells, "get out."

And eventually...

...The boyfriend just did.

Why can't you save anybody?

I don't know.

Forget it.

I'm free now, right?

I could meet the love of my life any second.

Things will be different now and that's good.

I just need to meet a good guy.

Yeah.

Patrick: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's all right.

I've been spending
a lot of time with patrick.

He begins every night
really excited.

He always says he feels fre
and tonight is his destiny.

But after a while
he runs out of things
to keep himself numb.

And sam got her letter
from penn state.

"we will require you to take our summer session

"at the main campus immediately following your high school graduation."

She got in, charlie.

After that, all patrick
could talk about was collee
and all their futures.

Alice did get
into nyu film school.

Patrick is going to the
university of washington

Because he wants to be
near the music in seattl.

But he wasn't
going to leave

Without organizing
the best senior prank ever.

Sam is going away
right after graduation.

It all feels very exciting.

I just wish
it were happening to me.

Especially because,
ever since I blacked out
in the cafeteria,

It's been getting worse.

And I can't
turn it off this time.

Your copies of gatsby
up to the front, please.

And I know it's the last day,

But if we could keep it to a dull roar, I'd appreciate it.

Thank you.

Guy, guys. Thank you for such a great year.

I had a blast.
I hope you did, too.

And I hope you have a great time this summer on your vacations.

Now who here is gonna read for pleasure this summer?

Charlie.

Very good.

Have a good summer.

Last day.

Yeah.

So I know it's none of my business, but have you decided?

Are you going to new york?

Well...

My wife and I like it here.

And I think I might be better at teaching than writing.

You know, charlie, I was thinking that

Maybe I could still give you books next year.

Yeah, yeah.

I think you could write one of them one day.

Really?

I do.

You're the best teacher I've ever had.

Thank you.

, , ,

, , ,

, , , .

Dear friend,

I wanted to tell you
about us running.

There was
this beautiful sunset.

And just a few hours befor,
everyone I love

Had their last day
of high school ever.

I was happy because
they were happy,

Even though I counted
and I have

days to go.

I kept imagining
what school would be like
without them

As they were
all getting ready
for their prom.

My sister finally decided
to break up with derek

And go stag with
her girlfriends instead.

And then there was sam.

I've looked at her pictue
since that night.

I like to see
how happy she was
before she knew.

They were
in a hotel suite after prom
and the truth came out.

Basically craig
has been cheating on sam
the whole time.

When I heard that,

I kept thinking
about the happy girl
in these pictures.

'cause she doesn't have
days to go.

She made it.

This is her time.

And no one should be
able to take that away.

Congratulations.

Oh, charlie. Charlie's here.
Guys, group photo.

We should all take a group photo.

Ooh! Get against the railing and try to look suave.

Yep, this is the one.
That's gonna be a great angle.

At her going away party,

I wanted her to know
about that night
we went through the tunnel.

And how for the first time,

I felt like
I belonged somewhere.

And tomorrow, she's leavin.

So I wanted to give her
a part of me.

Are these all your books, charlie?

Thanks for staying up with me.

Sure.

My brother said penn state has this restaurant called

Ye olde college diner.

You have to get a grilled sticky on your first night.

It's a tradition.

That sounds like fun.

Yeah.

Pretty soon, you'll have a whole new group of friends, you know.

You won't even think about this place anymore.

Yes, I will.

Had lunch with craig today.

Yeah?

He said he was sorry and that I was right to break up with him.

I'm driving away and was feeling so small.

Just asking myself, "why do I and everyone I love

"pick people who treat us like we're nothing?"

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Then why didn't you ever ask me out?

I...

I just didn't think that you wanted that.

Well, what did you want?

I just want you to be happy.

Don't you get it, charlie?

I can't feel that.

It's really sweet and everything, but...

You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours

And think that counts as love.

I don't want to be somebody's crush.

I want people to like the real me.

I know who you are, sam.

I know I'm quiet.

And I know I should speak more.

But if you knew the things that were in my head most of the time,

You'd know what it really meant.

How much we're alike

And how we've been through the same things.

And you're not small.

You're beautiful.

What's wrong, charlie?

Nothing.

Mary elizabeth: I want you to promise

You know I'm gonna call you all the time.

We're gonna see each other in new york.

All the time.

Come on, sam.

What's wrong, charlie?

Sam's mother:
Put your seat belt on.

We'll meet you there.

Don't wake your sister.

It'll be our little secret, okay?

Look, charlie...

She's fast asleep.

Don't wake your sister.

My fault.

My fault.

My fault.

It's all my fault.

It'll be our
little secret. Okay?

Stop it.

Stop.

Stop crying.

Stop crying.

This'll be
our little secret.

Candace. Your brother's on the phone.

Hello?

Hey, candace.
Charlie?

Sam and patrick left
and I can't stop thinking
about something.

Shh. What?

Candace...

I k*lled aunt helen,
didn't I?

She d*ed getting
my birthday present,

So I guess I k*lled her?
Right?

I've tried
to stop thinking that,
but I can't.

She keeps driving away
and dying.

Call the police and send them to my house.

I can't stop her.
I'm crazy again.

No. Charlie, listen to me.

Mom and dad are gonna be home with chris any second.

I'm just thinking,

What if I wanted her
to die, candace?

What? Charlie?

Charlie!

Charlie?

I'm dr. Burton.

Where am I?

Mayview hospital.

You have to let me go.
My dad can't afford it.

Oh, don't worry about that.

No.

I saw them when I was little

And I don't want to be a mayview kid.

Just tell me how to stop it.

Stop what?

Seeing it.

All their lives all the time.

How do you stop seeing it?

Seeing what, charlie?

There is so much pain.

And I don't know how to not notice it.

What's hurting you?

No, not me.

It's them. It's everyone.
It never stops.

Do you understand?

What about your aunt helen?

What about her?

Do you see her?

Yes.

She had a terrible life.

God, what am I supposed to...

You said some things about her in your sleep.

I don't care.

If you want to get better,

You have to.

She...

She was insane.

I'm just sayin'.

She...

Charlie?

You gonna let me help you here?

Okay.

Do you remember anything before you blacked out?

I remember leaving sam's house.

I was walking home. And...

Charlie:
I was in the hospital
for a while.

I won't go into detail
about all of it.

But I will say there were
some very bad days.

And some unexpected
beautiful days.

The worst day was
the time my doctor
told my mom and dad

What aunt helen did to m.

Honey?

I'm so sorry.

The best days were those
when I could have visitors.

My brother and sister
always came for those,

Until chris had to go
to training camp.

He's going to be
first string this year.

My sister told me
she met a nice guy
at her summer job.

Here he is.

So I'll see you Thursday at : , right?

Okay.
You gonna hang in there?

My doctor said
we can't choose
where we come from,

But we can choose
where we go from there.

But it was
enough to start putting
these pieces together.

God bless this food we are about to receive.

We thank you for this bounty,

In the name of our lord jesus christ, amen.

Amen.
Amen.

How do you think the penguins are gonna do this year, dad?

g*dd*mn penguins.

Think they're allergic to g*dd*mn defense.

What do the players call a puck, again?

A biscuit.

Are you sure it's not a "g*dd*mn biscuit"?

You're cruisin' for a bruisin'.

Honey, I think we're gonna have to do

A little shopping for you before you take off, huh?

Yeah, I need some books.

Clothes, too.

Yeah.

Can charlie come out and play?

The first night, we had grilled stickies.

So good.

You have to visit in the fall.
We'll have some, okay?

Definitely.

Oh, sorry,

Charlie has a breakdown scheduled for October.

Well, can I tell you something?

I've been away for two months.

It's another world.

And it gets better.

And my roommate katie has the best taste in music.

I found the tunnel song.

Let's drive.

I don't know
if I will have the time
to write any more letter,

Because I might be too busy
trying to participate.

So, if this does end up
being the last letter,

I want you to know
that I was in a bad place
before I started high school.

And you helped me.

Even if you didn't know
what I was talking about.

Or know someone
who's gone through it.

You made me not feel alone.

Because I know
there are people

Who say all these things
don't happen.

There are people
who forget what it's like
to be when they turn .

I know these will all
be stories someday.

And our pictures
will become old photograph.

And we'll all become
somebody's mom or dad.

But right now
these moments
are not stories.

This is happening.

I am here.

And I am looking at her.

And she is so beautiful.

I can see it.

This one moment
when you know
you're not a sad story.

You are alive.

You stand up
and see the lights
on the buildings

And everything
that makes you wonder.

And you're listening
to that song on that drie

With the people
you love most
in this world.

And in this moment, I swea,

We are infinite.