03x03 - Anger Management

[bunniefuu]

therapy
Therapist: So tell me, again, in your own words why are you here today in anger management?

Nom Nom: Hmm, what am I doing here again? (To agent) You're my agent why'd you book this complete waste of time?

Agent: Uh, All of your engagements were cancelled after the incident.

Nom Nom: OK, shoo, shoo that's enough out of you, thank you. Ahem. Look, Doc, this is all really unnecessary. It was a big misunderstanding! I-I don't have any anger issues.

Therapist: Well, it says here, if you don't complete therapy, you can't resume your business activity. So, why don't we review the events?

Nom Nom: Okay, okay, fine. *Ahem* So you know that really annoying mega-hit kids show, "The Corgis"? Well, after years of trying, I finally landed a guest role! I signed on, and we jumped into the sh**t. Everything was going great, until the theme song came on...

[Flashback, the actors in Corgi suits sing the theme song]

Corgis: Green sandwich, Corgi party. Red pineapple Corgi party. Blue banana

Director: Cut, cut cut cut! This isn't going to work, Nom Nom. We need stacks more smiles, heaps of it!

Nom Nom: But I've been smiling this whole time.

Director: Yeah, but nah. Give us a big smile!

Corgi actor: (To Nom Nom) Yeah, mate! Let's get in there and see some pearly whites!

Director: All right! Camera's loaded, let's sh**t. Everyone, places.

Nom Nom: (Voice-over) And it kept going, take after take, cut after cut, never-ending smiles, and it was too much! - Aah! Stupid song! -

Corgi actor: Crikey! Aah! Hey! Call the coppers! Grah! Noms, are you - Aah! - Run for it! Aah! [Screaming]

Nom Nom: I might have overreacted a little bit, but the truth was grossly exaggerated. Pleh.

Therapist: I'm sorry, but until you've completed some sort of therapy you can't resume. And we've run out of options. So your agent and I thought it was best to bring in a specialist.

Nom-Nom: [Scoffs] Give me a break.

Therapist: Someone who specializes in being happy. You can come in now, sir.

[Grizz comes into the room]

Grizz: Uh, hello? Ah! Nom Nom! Oh, it's been ages, man!

Nom Nom: No! No! No! No! No! No way! No! (To therapist) You! This was your doing! No! No! No! No! No!

Grizz: Aw, he's so excited! I missed you too, Nom Nom!

Nom Nom: No, get out of here! Nobody wants you!

Therapist: Now, Nom Nom

Nom Nom: No! Don't tell me what to do!

Therapist: Nom Nom, please. He can guide you. Let him teach you how to purge all that negative energy.

Grizz: I know this is a big step to repairing our friendship, so when I heard you needed help, I couldn't say no!

Therapist: Please give this a try Mr. Nom Nom, sir.

Nom Nom: Oh, you don't understand! "The Corgis" aren't worth this!

Grizz: What? Did you say "The Corgis"? Ah, I love that show! The kangaroo's got to be my favorite in the cast. I've got a picture of him right here!

Nom Nom: Oh, stop! Don't you get it? You bears mess up everything when you're around. Especially you, Grizz!

Grizz: (Defeated) Oh, all right, Nom Nom, whatever you want.

Agent: Wait! Sir! Please reconsider, sir. You need him! (Shows him on iPad) Your popularity ratings could really use this boost with "The Corgis." Andy Bangs has surpassed you in search results and views. And your mansion, we could lose it!

Nom Nom: What? [Grumbles] Okay, okay, get that out of here. [Groans] (To Grizz) Hey, bud. I-I was wrong back there. I know we've had our differences, but who am I to deny help from you? After all, I could really use it.

Grizz: You're saying you'll take my help?

Nom Nom: Yes.

Grizz: Ah! Is this for real? I'm allowed to help?!

Nom Nom: Yep, for realsies.

Grizz: Whoo-hoo! I won't let you down!

Nom Nom (Uneasy) Sweet.

Grizz: (Shows first page of notebook) Step one; dance yoga! Here we go, just follow my lead. [Takes deep breath, starts doing yoga] And, up! Huh! Huh! Uh, uh! Schooo! (Bumps Nom Nom with his behind) (Next page) Eating is obviously therapeutic, and so is spreading jam all over a bagel! Mm, mm, that's good.

Nom Nom: (Sees that the toaster burnt his bagel) Argh!

Grizz: (On third page) Drawing cute, happy pictures always cheers me up! (Shows Nom Nom his picture)

Nom Nom: [Shows his picture of himself standing next to Grizz who is drawn on fire, but Grizz draws over it with a blue marker]

Grizz: This is the most important part; you got to smile! Express those bright emotions outward! Okay, give it a try, friend! (Nom Nom tries to smile) Almost got it. Just a bit more. Come on now, bigger!

Nom Nom: [Groaning]

Grizz: Bigger!

Nom Nom: Gaah! [Cracks under the pressure, throwing things around]

Grizz: Nom Nom, what's- Aah! Aah!

[Nom Nom is screaming and throwing a tantrum]

Grizz: (To the therapist) Oh, my gosh, I've never seen him like this before! It's like he's gotten worse!

Agent: At this rate, Nom Nom will be ruined!

Grizz: We got to calm him down! Nom Nom! Oh, gosh. Please calm down. You have to stop this! (Picks him up) Ah! Now what do I do?

Agent: Throw it out the window!

Therapist: Restrain him!

Grizz: But how?! (Proceeds to simply hug Nom Nom)

Nom Nom: [Muffled scream, then stops]

Grizz: Nom Nom? You okay? (Puts him down)

Nom Nom: (Dazed) Wha-? Huh? (Surprised) I'm- It worked!

Grizz: Everything all right, buddy?

Nom Nom: Yes. (Smiles) In fact, I've never felt so peaceful before.

Grizz: That's so great, Nom Nom! You know my plan had some kinks, but in the end, it worked out!

Agent: This is a miracle! We got to celebrate! Ah! Let me grab some of those bagels! Whoa! (Trips and drops a bagel on Nom Nom)

Nom Nom: [Growling] [Grizz hugs him again] [Muffled scream] Ha! I feel great! Agent, call "The Corgis." I'm ready for the sh**t! And, Grizz, will you come with me?

Grizz: Oh, my gosh, you mean I can come with you to see "The Corgis"!? Ah, yes! I'm so in!

At the studio
Grizz: (Opens door to studio) So, this is where the magic happens? Ah! Are the Corgis here already? Wow, their fur is everywhere! There's even some on the lights. (Touches light) Oh, yeah, that's dangerously hot.

Corgi actor 1: (Practicing lines, singing) Corgi

Corgi actor 2: No, no, no, no, mate. (Singing) "Corgi"

Corgi actor 1: Corgi Corgi... Hey, here he comes.

Nom Nom: Hello, gentlemen. Thank you for giving me a second chance at this.

Corgi actor 1: Hey, Noms, everything all right?

Corgi actor 2: Yeah, all good, mate? We cool?

Nom Nom: [Laughs] Yep, I'm cool.

Corgi actor: Good, last time we saw ya, ya ripped Corgi Dan's leg off.

Corgi Dan: (Waving with reattached arm) She'll be right.

Nom Nom: I assure you, my leg-ripping days are over.

Corgi actor: Yeah, but just in case, we hired some more security, you know.

Security guard: Requesting mobile support.

Corgi actor 1: It's fine, 'cause nothing bad's gonna to happen this time.

Corgi actor 2: Gonna be a bonza day!

Nom Nom: Uh, one second? (Reaches arms out to Grizz)

Grizz: Oh. (Picks up Nom Nom and hugs him tight)

Nom Nom: [Muffled scream]

Grizz: Corgi Dan seems so cool.

Director: All right, camera's loaded. Let's sh**t. Everyone, places!

[Nom Nom smiles on set]

Director: Yes! Beautiful smile! Let's keep right there like that, love!

Corgi actor: Oi, mate!

Nom Nom: Get off set, you galah! - Oh! (To Grizz) Don't go!

Grizz: It's okay, it's okay. I'll be right here the whole time.

Corgi actor: (To Nom Nom) Looking great, love!

Director: All right, Corgis, take your marks.

Corgi actors: (Singing) Orange eggplant, Corgi party! Purple bacon, Corgi party!

Director: And cut! You beauty! We got it! Let's take a ten-minute break, everybody. Then it's just one more take, and we're done.

Nom Nom: [Sighs] Nailed it. It's all just too easy.

[Knock at door]

Nom Nom: Come in!

Agent: Nom Nom! That was amazing! You didn't yell, you didn't bite, nobody's crying! I'm not crying! You've done it!

Nom Nom: Yep, so long as this guy is next to me, everything is smooth sailing.

Grizz: Glad to be useful! So it's like you're a good person now. This is fantastic! We should to- [Gasps] It's- It's- It's the kangaroo!

Kangaroo actor: [French accent] Quoi? What is it?

Grizz: It's really you! I love your work so much! I'm- I'm friends with Nom Nom. Wait, look I'm wearing you! (Gestures to his T-shirt) Sign it! Please! Sign the back!

Kangaroo actor: Oh, don't touch me!

Grizz: Hmm? It looks like you could use one of my special hugs.

Kangaroo actor: Security! Whoa! [Thud]

[Grizz is dragged out the room by security]

Grizz: Ah! Nom Nom! Let me in! Let me in! This is bad.

Corgi actor 1: All right, mates, for this last one, more intensity!

Corgi actor 2: Okay, mate! Wait, more intense? What more is needed?

Corgi actor 1: I think not only do we need more smiles, but also more sunshine! And rainbows for that smile!

Nom Nom: Uh, anybody seen the bear?

Grizz: Oh! Excuse me, sir! You have to let me in! I need to go help my buddy.

Man: You can't go inside unless you work on that kid's clown show.

Grizz: Oh, I totally work on the clown show. Doot do do doot do doot do doot Doot do do doot doot

Man: Okay, well then let's get you into makeup first.

[Cut to Corgis on stage]

Corgi actors: Red pineapple, Corgi party! Blue banana, Corgi party! Orange eggplant, Corgi party! Purple bacon, Corgi party!

Nom Nom: [Growling]

Corgi actors: It's a Corgi pa-

Man: (To Grizz in clown costume) All righty, well, let's get you in there.

Grizz: So much fun. Oh! Oh, no, Nom Nom! It's really, really fun [Gasps] Hold on, buddy, I'm coming! [Panting]

Corgi actors: Green sandwich, Corgi party! Red pineapple, Corgi party!

Grizz: Out of the way, out of the way, gah! Aah Gah! [Reaches Nom Nom and hugs him tight]

Nom Nom: [Muffled screams] Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Grizz: Is he still kickin'?

Nom Nom: I feel just peachy! [Laughs] [Cheering]

[Both sigh]

Director: Just hug your friend and say whoo-hoo And, cut!

Corgi actor1: (To Nom Nom) You beauty! We got it! Bonza! Let's go home! [Sighs] Good on ya, Noms, you little legend! It'd be a real treat to work together again, mate!

Corgi actor 2: You're a cool little critter, Noms!

Corgi actor 3: On ya, spirit!

Agent: Congratulations, Nom Nom. Your popularity is on the rise again! Andy bangs is eating your dust! He's totally over! And your mansion has doubled.

Nom Nom: All in a day's work. Let's head home.

Grizz: (To Nom Nom) You did it! Oh, you were perfect, I'm so proud of you. So what's the next gig? Where are we going now?

Nom Nom: Yeah, um, you know, I don't think we should keep this thing going.

Grizz: Oh, um, okay. But- But what about your anger?

Nom Nom: Eh, I'm rich and famous, I'll figure something out. So, uh see ya! Hey, man, how about one for the road? (Hugged by Grizz) Okay, put me down. Hey, this never happened.

[Door slams]

Grizz: Huh, I think that was my ride home.