("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
You are going to learn to sing and
dance and act,
and then when Daddy takes us out to
Hollywood,
we're going to be a big star, too,
just like Jackie Coogan, huh, honey?
Now, first you have to learn how to
dance.
Now, you watch Mama.
Hey, watch me, watch me.
Come on now, watch.
First you're gonna learn how to
dance.
Now watch.
Da, da, da, da, da, ta, ta, ta
Da, da, da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da, da, ta, ta, ta!
Now, come on, you try it, huh?
You try it.
Oh, just try.
(mutters)
Come on now, try.
Da, da, ta, da, ta
Da, da, ta, da, ta
Da, da, ta, da, ta...
Oh, come on, honey, just try to
dance, huh?
You won't dance, huh?
Well, dancing isn't so important.
It's the acting that counts, huh?
Let's try the different emotions,
shall we?
Now, first, sadness.
You are sad.
You are so sad.
(imitates little Ricky fussing)
You lost your lollipop.
That's good, that's good.
Yeah, that's good.
You won't dance, though, huh?
(fussing)
I don't understand it, Ricky.
Both your parents are so talented.
Well, hey, wait a minute.
Maybe if you put on a funny hat,
you'll go into your stuff, huh?
Oh, come on, honey.
Okay.
You want to go out and play with Mrs.
Trumbull?
All right!
Okay, honey.
Well, yeah, you'll find your place in
show business, huh?
Yeah.
Well, we'd love to come to your
party, Marge,
if we're still in town.
Oh, haven't you heard?
Yeah, Ricky's going to Hollywood and
be a big movie star.
Lucy...
Yeah, yeah. They're giving him a
screen test this week,
and then he's gonna sign the
contract,
and California, here we come!
(laughs)
Well, sure, you can visit us, Marge.
Sure!
Well, we'll talk to you before we
leave.
Bye!
Honey, why do you keep telling people
that we're going to Hollywood
when you know it's not definite yet?
Well, it will be.
Now, look, the screen test might not
be any good.
Aah!
And even if it is,
I still might not get the part.
Oh!
And then, and then ev-even if I get
the part,
there're still a lot of things that
can happen
to keep me from being a Hollywood
star.
Now, look, you're just being
negative.
I believe in positive thinking.
You're going to take Hollywood by
storm.
Well, look, ju-just forget the whole
thing, will you?
If it happens, all right,
but until then, let's not count on
it.
All right, dear, anything you say.
Good.
Where do you think we ought to live?
Hollywood or Beverly Hills?
I was merely asking.
Well, this is hardly the time that we
have to decide that.
Yeah, you're right, it doesn't matter
where we live.
The important thing is to find
someone
that can build us a swimming pool
shaped like a conga drum.
Hi!
Hi.
Hi, Ethel.
Did you bring your bathing suit?
Huh?
Lucy just invited us all to go for a
swim in our pool.
Oh, is she still entertaining in her
Beverly Hills mansion?
Go, ahead, laugh.
You two have no vision.
I can see us out there in Hollywood
now,
dining in famous restaurants,
rubbing elbows with movie stars,
Ricky putting his footprints in the
cement
in the forecourt at Grauman's Chinese
Theatre.
She's been out in that California sun
too long.
Gee, it'll be such fun dropping into
Romanoff's or the Derby
and seeing all the old g*ng.
Hi, Bing!
Oh, Luella, darling!
(affected laugh)
LUCY: Oh, Hedda, I adore that hat!
Hi!
Hi!
I brought back the butter I borrowed.
Thank you. Come here!
I want to show you something
I found in this movie magazine.
What?
A map of Hollywood showing where
the.... all the stars live
and guess what. What?
There's a vacant lot right next to
Clark Gable's.
Lucy, I haven't got time for this.
All right, but when you come to visit
us,
I won't let you borrow butter from
Clark.
Where's the lot?
Right here.
Now, look, all the stars live in this
section, see,
and that's where we're gonna have to
live, too, honey.
Oh, Lucy! Do you really think you're
gonna get to go?
I have no doubt of it!
We were meant for Hollywood, Ethel.
It's sort of, sort of our destiny.
Yeah. Hey, maybe Clark will let Ricky
ride to the studio with him every
morning.
Oh, honey, movie stars don't ride to
work
with other movie stars.
They don't?
No. we'll get our own big, yellow
Cadillac convertible.
Oh, pardon me!
Alan Ladd lives right here.
Yeah. Alan Ladd!
Hey, look, look!
Ricky made front page in Variety!
No kidding! Yeah.
"Ricky Ricardo, local nightclub
entertainer,
"is testing for the lead in Don Juan.
"Studio heads revealed today
"that the Latin American conga beater
seems to have the inside track for
the role."
What did I tell you? We're as good as
in Hollywood right now.
"The studio is earmarking $ million
"for the budget for the star-studded
color spectacle."
Color!
$ million!
Maybe we'll have two Cadillacs marked
"his" and "hers."
"The studio plans to select a
newcomer like Ricardo
"for the lead and build him into a
star.
He will be surrounded by big-name
performers."
Oh, isn't that wonderful!
"Being considered for top female
roles around him
"are Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner,
Jane Russell,
Yvonne DeCarlo, Lana Turner, Arlene
Dahl, Betty Grable..."
Oh, boy!
What a lineup!
I say!
Hey! Hey, did you read Variety?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They say I got a pretty good chance.
And what a cast!
Nothing but cuties and beauties!
Yeah, I know. They say I got the
inside track!
ETHEL: Oh, Ricky, this is so
exciting!
RICKY: Y-You know, for the, for the
first time,
I-I'm beginning to feel like Lucy
does, you know,
that we're really destined to go to
Hollywood!
Yeah! Yeah!
Honey, I think that
your instincts are very good!
Yeah, well, uh, Ricky...
Yeah, honey?
You know, you, uh, you have a very
steady following
here in New York.
Do you think it's wise to give up a
sure thing
for the uncertainty of a film career?
Huh?
Lucy, I thought you were dying to go
to Hollywood
and rub elbows with the stars.
Yeah.
Well, it's an awful lot of wear and
tear on your elbows.
What about me putting my footprints
in Grauman's Chinese Theatre?
Get your shoes all covered with wet
cement?
Nah.
What about living next door to Clark
Gable?
Now, don't tell me that's bad.
Well, Ethel, look at it this way.
Suppose you do borrow butter from
Clark.
What good will it do you?
He'll give you one look
and it'll melt right in your hand.
I don't get it, Lucy, why the big
switch?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I think I know.
Would this change of heart have
anything to do with, uh...
Marilyn, Ava, Jane, Yvonne, Arlene
and Betty?
Certainly not!
And you left out Lana.
I thought so.
The green-eyed monster.
Oh, Lucy, the paper said
they were just considering those
girls.
Yeah, well.
In other words, you just as soon I
didn't get the part, huh?
Well...
frankly, yes.
Oh, Lucy, how small can you be?!
Well, I just can't help it!
Well, honey, if you really feel that
way,
then it's no use going through with
the screen test.
Lucy, you're not gonna let him give
up his big chance?
Of course she isn't!
Aah!
I'll call Mr. Benjamin
and I'll tell him that I'm not
interested
in going through with the screen test
and neither are you.
Well, I think that's better, Ricky.
I...
I think that that's the only...
What do you mean, neither am I?
What do you mean, neither am I?!
Well, I... Well, no use telling you
now.
Tell me what, tell me what, tell me
what!
Well, it's just that the girl that
was supposed
to do the test with me got sick, and
Mr. Benjamin asked
if I knew somebody who could take her
place.
So what'd you tell him?
What'd you tell him?
I told him you've been reading the
part with me
and you knew it cold and he said
you'd be fine.
He did?
Yeah, but if you don't want me to do
it, I'll call him...
Honey, wait just a minute now.
Wait just a minute now.
Let's, let's not be rash.
A-After all, dear,
this-this is your big chance to go to
Hollywood.
No, honey, I think you're right.
After all, I got a steady following
and a sure thing right here in New
York.
Yeah, well, th-that's just it.
You're in a rut, a big fat rut!
An-And I think what you need
is the, is the, is the, th-the
challenge
of-of an unknown field.
The next sound you hear will be Clark
Gable
opening his refrigerator.
Now, honey, I want you to be
absolutely sure
because the only thing that is
important
is where we'll be the happiest.
Oh, honey, how can there be any doubt
of it?
Who wouldn't love to go to Hollywood?
Dining in famous restaurants,
mingling with celebrities
and don't you worry, dear,
I'll wipe that cement off your shoes
before it dries.
(doorbell buzzing)
(doorbell buzzing)
Ethel, will you answer that door? I'm
busy.
Busy? Doing what?
Reading.
Oh, honestly!
What are you made up for, Lucy?
Oh, darn it!
You recognized me!
What is this, trick or treat?
How'd you know who it was?
Well, for one thing, I've seen that
old link stole every winter
for the last eight years.
Oh, dear.
Well, if I hadn't worn this, would
you have known who it was?
Of course! What are you trying to
prove?
Well, I was just practicing.
You know, us movie stars have to go
around disguised
or our fans will mob us.
(chuckling)
Why, if it isn't Lucy Ricardo.
Gee, can I have your autograph?
Oh, Fred, don't be smart.
Who's being smart?
I want it on a check for this month's
rent.
You'll get your money, my good man.
Us movie stars always pay our bills.
ETHEL: Hey, wait a minute.
I thought Ricky was gonna be the
star.
Oh, he'll be one, too, don't worry.
Too?
Yeah. I was just thinking.
Do you know what's liable to happen
with that screen test?
What? I'm afraid to ask.
Well, now, it just might happen sort
of like this.
We make the test here in New York.
They send it out to the coast.
They show it at the studio.
My face comes on the screen
just for an instant, but that's
enough.
The head of the studio sees it.
He jumps up and shouts:
"That face! That face!
Get me that girl!"
"Sir, she's an unknown, a nobody."
"I don't care; find her.
"Get that girl!
I want to make her a star!"
And the rest is motion picture
history.
Ethel, that girl could be a second
John Bunny.
Hi.
Oh, hi, Rick.
Oh, there you are.
I came home early; I want to go over
that scene that...
What's all that?
That's Lucy's disguise so her fans
won't know she's a star.
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.
You know, Fred, I married a bird.
(chuckling): Yes.
She's just supposed to help me out in
this screen test
and she's already a big movie star.
Well, don't hold your breath, honey.
Apparently, you're not up on your
motion picture history.
What are you talking about?
Well, the way I hear it...
Come on, dear,
let's go do that scene.
Just a minute, please.
Come back here.
What are you talking about, Fred?
Well, the way I hear it,
the head of the studio sees your
test,
discovers Lucy,
he demands to know her name
and a new star is born!
(chuckling)
So, that's the way it's gonna happen,
huh?
I didn't say it would happen; I said
it might.
Well, it could happen.
Better not happen?
Look, Lucy, there are a few things
that you ought to know.
First of all, this test is for me.
You're just there to feed me the
lines.
Nobody's going to see any more than
the back of your head.
Now, I'm going to go home
and get into some comfortable clothes
and I'll 'spect you there in five
minutes
to go over that scene. Huh!
(door opening)
(door slamming)
"I'll "spect" you there in five
minutes to go over that scene."
"You're just there to 'fid' me the
lines."
"No one's going to see anything but
the back of your head."
Huh! That's what he thinks!
Lucy, what are you going to do?
I don't know, but the back of my head
isn't going to take this lying down!
(whistling)
Yes? Now, Ricky...
Ricky, we'll sh**t the song part of
the test first.
Okay.
Are the guitar players
close enough for balance?
I think so, yes.
All right, I'm ready.
(shouting): Quiet on the set!
This is a take!
(quietly): It's all yours, sir.
Roll 'em.
(shouting): Roll 'em!
Speed!
MAN: Ricardo's song, take one!
Action.
(playing ballad intro)
Bajo el manto plateado de un sombrero
Cordobes
Unos ojos van brindando la ternura de
un querer
Unas guitarras morunas dejan sus
notas sonar
Y unos ojos aojarenos que fascinan al
mirar
ALL: Ah-ah, ah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah
Canta, canta guitarra
Canta guitarra mia
Canta, guitarra agarena
Canta guitarra bravia
ALL: Canta, canta guitarra
Canta guitarra mia
Canta mi guitarra siempre
Que en tus besos tomo mi vida
ALL: Ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah
Canta, canta guitarra
Canta guitarra mia
Canta guitarra agarena
Canta guitarra bravia
ALL: Canta, canta guitarra
Canta guitarra mia
Canta mi guitarra siempre
Que en tu boca tomo mi vida, ole!
Cut!
(applause)
Print that.
Print it, the first take.
Ricky, perfect.
Now we'll do the scene.
All right, thank you, boys.
Thank you very much.
All right, get Mrs. Ricardo.
Yes, sir.
Now, Ricky, when you kneel down at
the end of the scene,
you know, make a more dramatic wave
with the hand when you say,
"So, I'm afraid that we must say
farewell,"
and then make your exit.
Oh, I see. Okay.
Uh, Mrs. Ricardo.
Oh, oh, is that the camera?
Yes.
Mrs. Ricardo...
Yes, sir.
We'll rehearse it once more before we
sh**t.
Action.
Hark!
Do I hear a footfall?
Is that you, Don Juan?
Yes, it is I, oh, lovely one.
Would that I had the power
to tell you what is in my heart
tonight.
What do you mean, my dearest?
I have come to say farewell.
No, say not so.
Would that I could ask you to fly
with me,
but I know that you're devoted
to your husband, Count Lorenzo.
Yes. Much as I love you, I must stay
with him.
He is old and feeble and he needs me.
But for him, I would sweep you into
my arms
and carry you over yon garden wall.
Oh, that I could cut these ties that
bind me.
Do not cry, my dearest.
It was not meant to be.
I had no right to win your heart.
I had no chance to win your love.
So, now I'm afraid I must say
farewell.
Cut!
That's fine, Ricky, fine.
Good feeling.
Thank you.
How was I, sir?
Very good, Mrs. Ricardo.
Thank you.
Oh, Ricky, now, be careful so that
your wife doesn't get in your way in
front of the camera.
Just take a step to one side.
All right. Well, I think
we're about ready for a take.
Now, let's see if we can't get this
the first time, everybody.
Now, may I have it quiet, please?
(shouting): Quiet on the set!
This is a take!
(quietly): It's, uh, all yours, sir.
Uh, Mrs. Ricardo.
Roll 'em.
(shouting): Roll 'em!
Speed!
Ricardo test, take one!
(screaming)
What was that?!
Cut! What was that?!
That's just what we have to do at the
beginning of a scene.
Oh. Now...
Now, please, Mrs. Ricardo.
Now, uh...
change the slate.
All right, I'm ready.
(shouting): Quiet on the set!
This is a take!
(quietly): It's all yours, sir.
Roll 'em! Roll 'em.
Speed!
Ricardo test, take two!
(slate bangs)
DIRECTOR: Action!
Hark! Do I hear a footfall?
Is that you, Don Juan?
Yes, it is I, oh, lovely one.
Would that I had the power
to tell you what is in my heart
tonight.
What do you mean, my dearest?
I have come to say farewell.
No, say not so.
Cut!
Lucy, what's the matter with you?
DIRECTOR: Mrs. Ricardo...
Yes, sir?
Is that as far as your head turns?
Yes. Why?
What a pity. I thought it might lend
interest
to the scene if you could keep it
going around and around
like a lighthouse!
Oh... (laughs)
I don't recall telling you to look
over your shoulder.
Oh, no, sir, that was my own idea.
Did you like it?
No! Oh.
Now, let's just do this the way we
rehearsed it.
Yes, sir.
Let me check this setup again.
Lucy, what are you trying to do?
Well, I was just thinking,
the back of my head is not my best
side.
That's only one person's opinion!
All right, now, places, everybody!
All right, I'm ready.
(shouting): Quiet on the set!
This is a take!
(quietly): Yes, sir.
Roll 'em.
Roll 'em!
Speed!
Ricardo test, take three!
DIRECTOR: Action!
Hark! Do I hear a footfall?
Is that you, Don Juan?
Yes, it is I, oh, lovely one.
Would that I had the power
to tell you what is in my heart
tonight.
What do you mean, my dearest?
Would that I could ask you to fly
with me.
But I-I know that you're devoted
to your husband, Count Lorenzo.
But for him, I would sweep you into
my arms
and carry you over yon garden wall.
Oh, that I could cut these ties that
bind me!
Cut!!
Well, we can't use the scene, but it
was a lovely mazurka!
I'm sorry, sir.
My wife doesn't seem to understand.
Well, I hope she catches on this time
because this is going to be the last
take!
Why, you running out of film?
No. No, we're running out of chalk!
Oh.
Now shall we do it for the last time?
Look, I'm sorry, sir.
You want to get another girl?
You expect me to go around looking
for another girl
with a whole crew sitting around here
getting paid!
No, no, no, sir, no.
No, we should put a three-inch lens
on,
then we'll take it with that!
Now, this is the test that's going to
Hollywood.
Yeah, well, I-I-I got, I got an idea
that this time it's going to be
right!
All right. Now, this is it,
good, bad or indifferent!
(shouting): Roll 'em!
Roll 'em, I said!
Oh.
Roll 'em.
Roll 'em!
Speed!
Ricardo test, take four.
DIRECTOR: Action!
Hark! Do I hear a footfall?
Is that you, Don Juan?
Yes, it is I, oh, lovely one.
Would that I had the power
to tell you what is in my heart
tonight.
What do you mean, my dearest?
I have come to say farewell.
No... no, say not so.
I am sorry, my dear,
but this is the way it has to be!
Would that I could ask you to fly
with me,
but I know that you're devoted to
your husband,
your husband, Count Lorenzo.
Yes, much as I love you, I must stay
with him.
He is old and feeble, and he needs
me.
But for him, I would carry you
over yon garden wall
and lift you over the wall.
Oh, that I could cut these ties that
bind me.
Do not cry, my dearest.
It was not meant to be.
I had no right to win your heart.
I had no chance to win your love.
So, now I must say farewell!
DIRECTOR: Cut!
Okay.
Okay, that's it.
What do you mean, that's it?
You're not gonna send that to
Hollywood?
Don't worry, I had a close-up lens on
you.
All we ever saw was your face.
Didn't see your wife at all.
RICKY: You sure it was all right?
Sure, it'll be fine.
Okay, everybody, that's it, wrap it
up.
You hungry, Ricky?
Yeah.
Put on your pants
and I'll buy you some lunch, come on.
Okay.
Well, hey, wait for me!
Wait for me, Mr. Director Man!
Uh, Ricky... Ricky, it was only a
joke!
A big joke, Ricky!
(laughing)
(wailing)
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: The part of the director
was played by Mr. Clinton Sundberg.
The assistant director was Ray
Kellogg.
The stick man was Alan Ray,
and the boom man was Louis Nicoletti.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
You are going to learn to sing and
dance and act,
and then when Daddy takes us out to
Hollywood,
we're going to be a big star, too,
just like Jackie Coogan, huh, honey?
Now, first you have to learn how to
dance.
Now, you watch Mama.
Hey, watch me, watch me.
Come on now, watch.
First you're gonna learn how to
dance.
Now watch.
Da, da, da, da, da, ta, ta, ta
Da, da, da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da, da, ta, ta, ta!
Now, come on, you try it, huh?
You try it.
Oh, just try.
(mutters)
Come on now, try.
Da, da, ta, da, ta
Da, da, ta, da, ta
Da, da, ta, da, ta...
Oh, come on, honey, just try to
dance, huh?
You won't dance, huh?
Well, dancing isn't so important.
It's the acting that counts, huh?
Let's try the different emotions,
shall we?
Now, first, sadness.
You are sad.
You are so sad.
(imitates little Ricky fussing)
You lost your lollipop.
That's good, that's good.
Yeah, that's good.
You won't dance, though, huh?
(fussing)
I don't understand it, Ricky.
Both your parents are so talented.
Well, hey, wait a minute.
Maybe if you put on a funny hat,
you'll go into your stuff, huh?
Oh, come on, honey.
Okay.
You want to go out and play with Mrs.
Trumbull?
All right!
Okay, honey.
Well, yeah, you'll find your place in
show business, huh?
Yeah.
Well, we'd love to come to your
party, Marge,
if we're still in town.
Oh, haven't you heard?
Yeah, Ricky's going to Hollywood and
be a big movie star.
Lucy...
Yeah, yeah. They're giving him a
screen test this week,
and then he's gonna sign the
contract,
and California, here we come!
(laughs)
Well, sure, you can visit us, Marge.
Sure!
Well, we'll talk to you before we
leave.
Bye!
Honey, why do you keep telling people
that we're going to Hollywood
when you know it's not definite yet?
Well, it will be.
Now, look, the screen test might not
be any good.
Aah!
And even if it is,
I still might not get the part.
Oh!
And then, and then ev-even if I get
the part,
there're still a lot of things that
can happen
to keep me from being a Hollywood
star.
Now, look, you're just being
negative.
I believe in positive thinking.
You're going to take Hollywood by
storm.
Well, look, ju-just forget the whole
thing, will you?
If it happens, all right,
but until then, let's not count on
it.
All right, dear, anything you say.
Good.
Where do you think we ought to live?
Hollywood or Beverly Hills?
I was merely asking.
Well, this is hardly the time that we
have to decide that.
Yeah, you're right, it doesn't matter
where we live.
The important thing is to find
someone
that can build us a swimming pool
shaped like a conga drum.
Hi!
Hi.
Hi, Ethel.
Did you bring your bathing suit?
Huh?
Lucy just invited us all to go for a
swim in our pool.
Oh, is she still entertaining in her
Beverly Hills mansion?
Go, ahead, laugh.
You two have no vision.
I can see us out there in Hollywood
now,
dining in famous restaurants,
rubbing elbows with movie stars,
Ricky putting his footprints in the
cement
in the forecourt at Grauman's Chinese
Theatre.
She's been out in that California sun
too long.
Gee, it'll be such fun dropping into
Romanoff's or the Derby
and seeing all the old g*ng.
Hi, Bing!
Oh, Luella, darling!
(affected laugh)
LUCY: Oh, Hedda, I adore that hat!
Hi!
Hi!
I brought back the butter I borrowed.
Thank you. Come here!
I want to show you something
I found in this movie magazine.
What?
A map of Hollywood showing where
the.... all the stars live
and guess what. What?
There's a vacant lot right next to
Clark Gable's.
Lucy, I haven't got time for this.
All right, but when you come to visit
us,
I won't let you borrow butter from
Clark.
Where's the lot?
Right here.
Now, look, all the stars live in this
section, see,
and that's where we're gonna have to
live, too, honey.
Oh, Lucy! Do you really think you're
gonna get to go?
I have no doubt of it!
We were meant for Hollywood, Ethel.
It's sort of, sort of our destiny.
Yeah. Hey, maybe Clark will let Ricky
ride to the studio with him every
morning.
Oh, honey, movie stars don't ride to
work
with other movie stars.
They don't?
No. we'll get our own big, yellow
Cadillac convertible.
Oh, pardon me!
Alan Ladd lives right here.
Yeah. Alan Ladd!
Hey, look, look!
Ricky made front page in Variety!
No kidding! Yeah.
"Ricky Ricardo, local nightclub
entertainer,
"is testing for the lead in Don Juan.
"Studio heads revealed today
"that the Latin American conga beater
seems to have the inside track for
the role."
What did I tell you? We're as good as
in Hollywood right now.
"The studio is earmarking $ million
"for the budget for the star-studded
color spectacle."
Color!
$ million!
Maybe we'll have two Cadillacs marked
"his" and "hers."
"The studio plans to select a
newcomer like Ricardo
"for the lead and build him into a
star.
He will be surrounded by big-name
performers."
Oh, isn't that wonderful!
"Being considered for top female
roles around him
"are Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner,
Jane Russell,
Yvonne DeCarlo, Lana Turner, Arlene
Dahl, Betty Grable..."
Oh, boy!
What a lineup!
I say!
Hey! Hey, did you read Variety?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They say I got a pretty good chance.
And what a cast!
Nothing but cuties and beauties!
Yeah, I know. They say I got the
inside track!
ETHEL: Oh, Ricky, this is so
exciting!
RICKY: Y-You know, for the, for the
first time,
I-I'm beginning to feel like Lucy
does, you know,
that we're really destined to go to
Hollywood!
Yeah! Yeah!
Honey, I think that
your instincts are very good!
Yeah, well, uh, Ricky...
Yeah, honey?
You know, you, uh, you have a very
steady following
here in New York.
Do you think it's wise to give up a
sure thing
for the uncertainty of a film career?
Huh?
Lucy, I thought you were dying to go
to Hollywood
and rub elbows with the stars.
Yeah.
Well, it's an awful lot of wear and
tear on your elbows.
What about me putting my footprints
in Grauman's Chinese Theatre?
Get your shoes all covered with wet
cement?
Nah.
What about living next door to Clark
Gable?
Now, don't tell me that's bad.
Well, Ethel, look at it this way.
Suppose you do borrow butter from
Clark.
What good will it do you?
He'll give you one look
and it'll melt right in your hand.
I don't get it, Lucy, why the big
switch?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I think I know.
Would this change of heart have
anything to do with, uh...
Marilyn, Ava, Jane, Yvonne, Arlene
and Betty?
Certainly not!
And you left out Lana.
I thought so.
The green-eyed monster.
Oh, Lucy, the paper said
they were just considering those
girls.
Yeah, well.
In other words, you just as soon I
didn't get the part, huh?
Well...
frankly, yes.
Oh, Lucy, how small can you be?!
Well, I just can't help it!
Well, honey, if you really feel that
way,
then it's no use going through with
the screen test.
Lucy, you're not gonna let him give
up his big chance?
Of course she isn't!
Aah!
I'll call Mr. Benjamin
and I'll tell him that I'm not
interested
in going through with the screen test
and neither are you.
Well, I think that's better, Ricky.
I...
I think that that's the only...
What do you mean, neither am I?
What do you mean, neither am I?!
Well, I... Well, no use telling you
now.
Tell me what, tell me what, tell me
what!
Well, it's just that the girl that
was supposed
to do the test with me got sick, and
Mr. Benjamin asked
if I knew somebody who could take her
place.
So what'd you tell him?
What'd you tell him?
I told him you've been reading the
part with me
and you knew it cold and he said
you'd be fine.
He did?
Yeah, but if you don't want me to do
it, I'll call him...
Honey, wait just a minute now.
Wait just a minute now.
Let's, let's not be rash.
A-After all, dear,
this-this is your big chance to go to
Hollywood.
No, honey, I think you're right.
After all, I got a steady following
and a sure thing right here in New
York.
Yeah, well, th-that's just it.
You're in a rut, a big fat rut!
An-And I think what you need
is the, is the, is the, th-the
challenge
of-of an unknown field.
The next sound you hear will be Clark
Gable
opening his refrigerator.
Now, honey, I want you to be
absolutely sure
because the only thing that is
important
is where we'll be the happiest.
Oh, honey, how can there be any doubt
of it?
Who wouldn't love to go to Hollywood?
Dining in famous restaurants,
mingling with celebrities
and don't you worry, dear,
I'll wipe that cement off your shoes
before it dries.
(doorbell buzzing)
(doorbell buzzing)
Ethel, will you answer that door? I'm
busy.
Busy? Doing what?
Reading.
Oh, honestly!
What are you made up for, Lucy?
Oh, darn it!
You recognized me!
What is this, trick or treat?
How'd you know who it was?
Well, for one thing, I've seen that
old link stole every winter
for the last eight years.
Oh, dear.
Well, if I hadn't worn this, would
you have known who it was?
Of course! What are you trying to
prove?
Well, I was just practicing.
You know, us movie stars have to go
around disguised
or our fans will mob us.
(chuckling)
Why, if it isn't Lucy Ricardo.
Gee, can I have your autograph?
Oh, Fred, don't be smart.
Who's being smart?
I want it on a check for this month's
rent.
You'll get your money, my good man.
Us movie stars always pay our bills.
ETHEL: Hey, wait a minute.
I thought Ricky was gonna be the
star.
Oh, he'll be one, too, don't worry.
Too?
Yeah. I was just thinking.
Do you know what's liable to happen
with that screen test?
What? I'm afraid to ask.
Well, now, it just might happen sort
of like this.
We make the test here in New York.
They send it out to the coast.
They show it at the studio.
My face comes on the screen
just for an instant, but that's
enough.
The head of the studio sees it.
He jumps up and shouts:
"That face! That face!
Get me that girl!"
"Sir, she's an unknown, a nobody."
"I don't care; find her.
"Get that girl!
I want to make her a star!"
And the rest is motion picture
history.
Ethel, that girl could be a second
John Bunny.
Hi.
Oh, hi, Rick.
Oh, there you are.
I came home early; I want to go over
that scene that...
What's all that?
That's Lucy's disguise so her fans
won't know she's a star.
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.
You know, Fred, I married a bird.
(chuckling): Yes.
She's just supposed to help me out in
this screen test
and she's already a big movie star.
Well, don't hold your breath, honey.
Apparently, you're not up on your
motion picture history.
What are you talking about?
Well, the way I hear it...
Come on, dear,
let's go do that scene.
Just a minute, please.
Come back here.
What are you talking about, Fred?
Well, the way I hear it,
the head of the studio sees your
test,
discovers Lucy,
he demands to know her name
and a new star is born!
(chuckling)
So, that's the way it's gonna happen,
huh?
I didn't say it would happen; I said
it might.
Well, it could happen.
Better not happen?
Look, Lucy, there are a few things
that you ought to know.
First of all, this test is for me.
You're just there to feed me the
lines.
Nobody's going to see any more than
the back of your head.
Now, I'm going to go home
and get into some comfortable clothes
and I'll 'spect you there in five
minutes
to go over that scene. Huh!
(door opening)
(door slamming)
"I'll "spect" you there in five
minutes to go over that scene."
"You're just there to 'fid' me the
lines."
"No one's going to see anything but
the back of your head."
Huh! That's what he thinks!
Lucy, what are you going to do?
I don't know, but the back of my head
isn't going to take this lying down!
(whistling)
Yes? Now, Ricky...
Ricky, we'll sh**t the song part of
the test first.
Okay.
Are the guitar players
close enough for balance?
I think so, yes.
All right, I'm ready.
(shouting): Quiet on the set!
This is a take!
(quietly): It's all yours, sir.
Roll 'em.
(shouting): Roll 'em!
Speed!
MAN: Ricardo's song, take one!
Action.
(playing ballad intro)
Bajo el manto plateado de un sombrero
Cordobes
Unos ojos van brindando la ternura de
un querer
Unas guitarras morunas dejan sus
notas sonar
Y unos ojos aojarenos que fascinan al
mirar
ALL: Ah-ah, ah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah
Canta, canta guitarra
Canta guitarra mia
Canta, guitarra agarena
Canta guitarra bravia
ALL: Canta, canta guitarra
Canta guitarra mia
Canta mi guitarra siempre
Que en tus besos tomo mi vida
ALL: Ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah
Canta, canta guitarra
Canta guitarra mia
Canta guitarra agarena
Canta guitarra bravia
ALL: Canta, canta guitarra
Canta guitarra mia
Canta mi guitarra siempre
Que en tu boca tomo mi vida, ole!
Cut!
(applause)
Print that.
Print it, the first take.
Ricky, perfect.
Now we'll do the scene.
All right, thank you, boys.
Thank you very much.
All right, get Mrs. Ricardo.
Yes, sir.
Now, Ricky, when you kneel down at
the end of the scene,
you know, make a more dramatic wave
with the hand when you say,
"So, I'm afraid that we must say
farewell,"
and then make your exit.
Oh, I see. Okay.
Uh, Mrs. Ricardo.
Oh, oh, is that the camera?
Yes.
Mrs. Ricardo...
Yes, sir.
We'll rehearse it once more before we
sh**t.
Action.
Hark!
Do I hear a footfall?
Is that you, Don Juan?
Yes, it is I, oh, lovely one.
Would that I had the power
to tell you what is in my heart
tonight.
What do you mean, my dearest?
I have come to say farewell.
No, say not so.
Would that I could ask you to fly
with me,
but I know that you're devoted
to your husband, Count Lorenzo.
Yes. Much as I love you, I must stay
with him.
He is old and feeble and he needs me.
But for him, I would sweep you into
my arms
and carry you over yon garden wall.
Oh, that I could cut these ties that
bind me.
Do not cry, my dearest.
It was not meant to be.
I had no right to win your heart.
I had no chance to win your love.
So, now I'm afraid I must say
farewell.
Cut!
That's fine, Ricky, fine.
Good feeling.
Thank you.
How was I, sir?
Very good, Mrs. Ricardo.
Thank you.
Oh, Ricky, now, be careful so that
your wife doesn't get in your way in
front of the camera.
Just take a step to one side.
All right. Well, I think
we're about ready for a take.
Now, let's see if we can't get this
the first time, everybody.
Now, may I have it quiet, please?
(shouting): Quiet on the set!
This is a take!
(quietly): It's, uh, all yours, sir.
Uh, Mrs. Ricardo.
Roll 'em.
(shouting): Roll 'em!
Speed!
Ricardo test, take one!
(screaming)
What was that?!
Cut! What was that?!
That's just what we have to do at the
beginning of a scene.
Oh. Now...
Now, please, Mrs. Ricardo.
Now, uh...
change the slate.
All right, I'm ready.
(shouting): Quiet on the set!
This is a take!
(quietly): It's all yours, sir.
Roll 'em! Roll 'em.
Speed!
Ricardo test, take two!
(slate bangs)
DIRECTOR: Action!
Hark! Do I hear a footfall?
Is that you, Don Juan?
Yes, it is I, oh, lovely one.
Would that I had the power
to tell you what is in my heart
tonight.
What do you mean, my dearest?
I have come to say farewell.
No, say not so.
Cut!
Lucy, what's the matter with you?
DIRECTOR: Mrs. Ricardo...
Yes, sir?
Is that as far as your head turns?
Yes. Why?
What a pity. I thought it might lend
interest
to the scene if you could keep it
going around and around
like a lighthouse!
Oh... (laughs)
I don't recall telling you to look
over your shoulder.
Oh, no, sir, that was my own idea.
Did you like it?
No! Oh.
Now, let's just do this the way we
rehearsed it.
Yes, sir.
Let me check this setup again.
Lucy, what are you trying to do?
Well, I was just thinking,
the back of my head is not my best
side.
That's only one person's opinion!
All right, now, places, everybody!
All right, I'm ready.
(shouting): Quiet on the set!
This is a take!
(quietly): Yes, sir.
Roll 'em.
Roll 'em!
Speed!
Ricardo test, take three!
DIRECTOR: Action!
Hark! Do I hear a footfall?
Is that you, Don Juan?
Yes, it is I, oh, lovely one.
Would that I had the power
to tell you what is in my heart
tonight.
What do you mean, my dearest?
Would that I could ask you to fly
with me.
But I-I know that you're devoted
to your husband, Count Lorenzo.
But for him, I would sweep you into
my arms
and carry you over yon garden wall.
Oh, that I could cut these ties that
bind me!
Cut!!
Well, we can't use the scene, but it
was a lovely mazurka!
I'm sorry, sir.
My wife doesn't seem to understand.
Well, I hope she catches on this time
because this is going to be the last
take!
Why, you running out of film?
No. No, we're running out of chalk!
Oh.
Now shall we do it for the last time?
Look, I'm sorry, sir.
You want to get another girl?
You expect me to go around looking
for another girl
with a whole crew sitting around here
getting paid!
No, no, no, sir, no.
No, we should put a three-inch lens
on,
then we'll take it with that!
Now, this is the test that's going to
Hollywood.
Yeah, well, I-I-I got, I got an idea
that this time it's going to be
right!
All right. Now, this is it,
good, bad or indifferent!
(shouting): Roll 'em!
Roll 'em, I said!
Oh.
Roll 'em.
Roll 'em!
Speed!
Ricardo test, take four.
DIRECTOR: Action!
Hark! Do I hear a footfall?
Is that you, Don Juan?
Yes, it is I, oh, lovely one.
Would that I had the power
to tell you what is in my heart
tonight.
What do you mean, my dearest?
I have come to say farewell.
No... no, say not so.
I am sorry, my dear,
but this is the way it has to be!
Would that I could ask you to fly
with me,
but I know that you're devoted to
your husband,
your husband, Count Lorenzo.
Yes, much as I love you, I must stay
with him.
He is old and feeble, and he needs
me.
But for him, I would carry you
over yon garden wall
and lift you over the wall.
Oh, that I could cut these ties that
bind me.
Do not cry, my dearest.
It was not meant to be.
I had no right to win your heart.
I had no chance to win your love.
So, now I must say farewell!
DIRECTOR: Cut!
Okay.
Okay, that's it.
What do you mean, that's it?
You're not gonna send that to
Hollywood?
Don't worry, I had a close-up lens on
you.
All we ever saw was your face.
Didn't see your wife at all.
RICKY: You sure it was all right?
Sure, it'll be fine.
Okay, everybody, that's it, wrap it
up.
You hungry, Ricky?
Yeah.
Put on your pants
and I'll buy you some lunch, come on.
Okay.
Well, hey, wait for me!
Wait for me, Mr. Director Man!
Uh, Ricky... Ricky, it was only a
joke!
A big joke, Ricky!
(laughing)
(wailing)
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: The part of the director
was played by Mr. Clinton Sundberg.
The assistant director was Ray
Kellogg.
The stick man was Alan Ray,
and the boom man was Louis Nicoletti.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
04x07 - Ricky's Screen Test
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Lucy & Ricky Ricardo live in New York, while Ricky tries to succeed in show business -- Lucy who is always trying to help -- usually ends up in some kind of trouble that drives Ricky insane.
Lucy & Ricky Ricardo live in New York, while Ricky tries to succeed in show business -- Lucy who is always trying to help -- usually ends up in some kind of trouble that drives Ricky insane.