03x05 - Episode 5

Episode transcripts for the TV show "No Offence". Aired: May 5, 2015 to October 2018.*
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"No Offence" follows a group of policemen on the front line wondering what they did to end up where they are on the ugly side of Manchester. Keeping these streets clean is a Herculean task, enough to demoralize even the keenest rookie, but there's a reason these cops are in this force. As the never ending rabble off the local estates pours in, Inspector Vivienne Deering, the station's sharp, odd and hard-as-they-come boss, and her team led by DC Dinah Kowalski (smart but impetuous, stuck in the middle, single mother in her 30s) and DC Joy Freers (buttoned up so tight she might pop. But nobody's mug), show they have what it takes to cr*ck crime and to expose the addled, the skanky, the pimps, the petty and the really proper nasty bastards for the sewer rats they are.
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03x05 - Episode 5

Post by bunniefuu »

People of Manchester, we salute you!

Caroline McCoy faked her
own assassination attempt

so she could swing the
vote and win the election.

She even smuggled the g*n
into the town hall for Beckett.

We have the start of a paper
trail linking Caroline to Dirkin.

If you help them, then who knows?

- I turned Dennis.
- This in inhuman.

HE SCREAMS

We'll contact Beckett
when the time is right,

arrange the meet and we'll have him.

And once we've got him,
we can take down Caroline too.

Do you think she's worked out
that you're onto her?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Mayor's on her way in.

Needs to talk urgently about alleged
corruption in my department.

That's code for I want you out.

There is only one way to fix this.

I'm resigning.

I'll be gone by the end of the week.

And as new mayor, I'm proud to
say that I've kept my promise.

A zero tolerance policy on
parking in restricted zones

right across Manchester,
starting right here, right now.

Why outside a mosque?

No hidden agenda, it's one of the
many areas, across the city,

- where parking is an issue.
- CHANTING

INDISTINCT

I'll take this up with the mayor
later but for now, please, inside.

Easy, boys and girls.

Slippers, not jack boots.

Is he having a laugh?

Captain Big Box.

Deal with him.

Oi!

Stop that box!

Excuse me.

SIREN WAILS

Conspicuous policing?

This is all bells,
whistles and tit tassels.

Here comes the new Marilyn.

Detective Chief Inspector Terry
Taylor is just the man for the job.

Inspector, you keep the locals back,
I'll deal with that lot.

These are the locals, sir.

Right, you two, there's more of them

trying to park up round
the corner. See to it.

PC O'Connell, let Tiggy go
first. They might listen to her.

It's Tegan.

We're not interrupting your prayers,

go back and have your prayers.

Get inside before someone gets hurt!

Get him in the van!

No, the other one!

Get him off that lorry!

This is all going to
go Dolly Parton tits up

if Terry Dactyl doesn't stop
goose stepping his way through.

Was he like this when you were a cadet?

Worse.

Jonah, where the hell are you?

Just apprehended Big Box, ma'am.

You're not Captain Big Box.

You can't arrest them all, Sir.

We've only got two cells free.

The mayor brought me in for a reason.

I stick to her agenda,

you stick to mine,
we'll all be happy clampers.

If you step over this line,
I will have you arrested.

Forget that.

You can't park there, lads.

Since when?

Since today...

Bash?

You need to move your car.

Stu, I'll sort it, he's my cousin.

No way.

Bad enough you're a pig
but shagging a white pig?

Don't speak to her like that.
Move your car.

- Bash...
- Get off me.

Move your car now!

- God, are you OK?
- sh*t.

Bashir Khan, I'm arresting you
for assaulting a police officer.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what you playing at?

Make the most of it, mate,

cos she might be goin'
on a little holiday soon.

Ask her about my brother's Mrs.

Teeg, wait. Uncuff him.

What? No way. He assaulted you.

Now move your car
before I change my mind.

HE SNICKERS

If that'd been anyone else,
you would've charged 'em.

It wasn't anyone else, was it?

- It was your family.
- Yeah, so?

Hang on, what has he said to you?

I don't know, something
about his brother's wife.

Oh, here we go.

He tells everyone that she disappeared.

She did. To Florida,
having the time of her life.

I've seen it on Facebook.

- OK.
- OK?

That "OK" didn't sound OK.

Stu, what's going on?

I just think when, we're on duty,

we should make it less obvious
we're, you know, a thing.

Why should we?

Oh, my God, I have
listened to crap like this

for years and ignored it

and he says one little thing to you,

and you're going on about
being less obvious?

I tell you what, if you're
that worried about it,

why don't we just finish?
Is that less obvious for you?

No, I never said that.

You didn't have to, cos
your face said it all.

Teeg, wait, you've got this all wrong.

Your dad's a better shag anyway.

Dinah, Spike, we could do
with a bit of backup here.

We're coming out.

Get down! You're giving them
an excuse to arrest you!

You're his blue-eyed boy.

Try and rein him in before
he kicks off a riot.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, God, look at her.

Like butter wouldn't melt.

Time she wasn't here.

Sir, we need to get these inside
before it all really kicks off.

It's easier said than done, Spike.

It's like herding cats... with beards.

sh*t.

Come on, love, that is enough.

THEY CLAMOUR

You were amazing!

I could have done without
this was coming down.

Half of them borderline feral.

Have I done something
to upset your Sergeant?

That's not the first
time she's looked at me

- like I'm something she's trodden in.
- Trust me, that's her on a good day.

She's normally Rose
McGowan meets k*ll Bill.

Off you go, love.

Come on, Dinah.

Less chewing of the wasps' nest.

On second thoughts...

It wasn't Big Box, ma'am.

It was a scally kid.

He's legged it.

Said a fella gave him quid

if he'd wear the costume,

and deliver a leaflet to the mayor.

If he didn't, he'd slit his throat.

Said the fella looked like a tramp.

A ginger tramp.

I just clocked Caroline's face
when she was at the car.

Whatever was in that leaflet spooked her.

- A death thr*at from Beckett?
- PHONE BEEPS

Yeah, well, he might want her dead

but he won't want her going
before he's got his hit money.

Bonnie.

From Beckett. To Dennis.

"Make her pay."

See, Beckett must have
come out of his bat cave

to find that scally kid. He
could be nearby, we could get him.

No, no. We can't let Beckett know
we know that he sent that to Dennis.

And we certainly can't let him know.

I've got a feeling that it's
just the mad bastard tuning up.

Oh, look, even the opposition
are on my side, so thank you!

See?

She doesn't react.

But when she was in the car,
she was definitely rattled.

Give the psycho his Blue Peter badge,

he's put some effort in there.

- PHONE RINGS
- Are we good?

- Bonnie?
- Ma'am.

Look sharp.

Bonnie, I can't talk, you go ahead.

I have just had the mayor on.

Wants to know how that
Big Box got so near her.

That could've been Beckett.

Was there anything
on the leaflet, sir, or...?

No, it was just a leftover
from his campaign.

The point is, I have reassured her...

I have reassured her worship
that we'll find Beckett.

- Am I right?
- "Yes, sir."

ALL: Yes, sir.

Am I keeping you from
something, Sergeant?

Sorry, that was my mum.

My daughter's in a bad way.

Taken one of them dr*gs
she deals in, has she?

No, she's got a cyst the size of
an orange in her fallopian tubes

if you must know, sir.

She's in agony.

Could end up infertile,
and she loves kids.

Still, glass half full,

at least she's definitely not a dealer.

Right, well...

So, let's get the
bastard and bring him in.

Oh, DC Tanner? A word.

- Yes, sir.
- As soon as you're ready.

And tell them cleaners
to go easy on Febreze.

My office smells like a tart's twat.

We were right.

Beckett just called Dennis.

The leaflet was a warning to McCoy.

He wants Dennis to bring him the grand

or someone'll end up in the obituaries.

- But he didn't mention McCoy by name?
- No.

Not one thing to link her
to Dirkin or the fake hit.

So, all we've got are the
receipts that Proff found

from payments made to her shop?

That's not enough, it's nowhere near.

At the risk of going all Lion
King on you, we keep the circle.

Cos if Terry Dactyl gets a
whiff that we're on to McCoy,

it's game over, we've lost.

So, come on. Plan.

We send Bonnie in to see McCoy,

see if she'll pay the grand,

try and trip her up,

get her to say anything that
links her to Dirkin or Beckett.

Should Dennis go with her?

She's a trained U/C.

He's a gobby twat on two
legs who just pulls pints.

He's Beckett's mate, it might be
more convincing if they both go in.

OK, as long as Bonnie
does all the talking.

We get Beckett, we get McCoy.

And we get justice for Joy.

KNOCK ON DOOR Come.

Problem, sir?

There's been a complaint of
misconduct made against you.

- By who?
- Inspector Deering.

For what?

A few days ago, you told her
that you'd filed a report

on an attempted robbery case in Denton.

Except it wasn't filed till the next day.

No, I remember.

It was... Alice, me wife,

she rang and said she was ill

and couldn't look after the kids,

so I finished my shift early.

I mean, OK, the report was
filed late but I still put it in.

DI Deering says she was checking
over all reports on all officers,

that's when she came across it.

The complaint is that it
wasn't done by the book.

Well, Deering's hardly known
for doing things by the book.

Exactly.

There's something wrong with
this picture, isn't there?

Sir...

Inspector Deering's never made
a complaint against you before.

Ever.

The mayor appoints me as DCI

and, within only a matter of days,

Deering has made a complaint against you.

I've let her know that you were
one of the finest cadets

I'd ever trained

and that I'd trust you with my life.

She knows you and me go way back.

Sorry, sir, I don't where
you're going with all this.

Suppose Deering thinks
you are my eyes on her

and that you report what
she's up to back to me.

Every little detail.

It'd be in her interests to have
you suspended

while the case against
you was investigated.

But I don't get it. What
would she be up to?

Well, that's one of the reasons
the mayor brought me in,

to find out.

She doesn't trust Deering or that
DS Kol... Kow... Dinah

since that business over her daughter.

I've been watching them two.

Thick as thieves.

You ever wondered why she
was made Sergeant and not you?

Can't say I wasn't gutted at the
time, but...

...Dinah's a good cop.

Better than you? I think not.

- PHONE VIBRATES
- Oh.

Speak of the devil.

Caroline.

On my way.

Don't worry, Spike.

I've got your back.

Unlike Deering, who's
just stuck a Kn*fe in it.

Fetch your coat.

Tell her you're following up a lead
on a case, make it convincing.

- Where are we going?
- Town hall.

Oh, and let Deering think
I'm looking further

into her complaint against you which
you and I both know, I won't be.

Yes, sir.

Well?

Fell for it hook, line and sinker.

Or stinker in his case.

Tell you what, ma'am, I
was bloody good in there, me.

All right, Bafta Boy.

You were right about McCoy.

She's asked him to be her eyes
and ears on Friday Street.

Especially you two. Thinks
you're up to something.

- We are, taking that bitch down.
- I'm going to go and see her now.

- What for?
- No idea.

But as far as you two are concerned,

I'm chasing up a lead on a case, right?

You need to find out,

is he her spy or just
her useful idiot, yeah?

OK.

Spike, make sure you're out of
there before we get Bonnie in.

- Yeah.
- And you need to talk to him

about the smell.

You didn't tell me
you'd have company, Terry.

Oh, don't worry, Deering
doesn't know he's here.

Or does she?

No! No, no. You told me to tell her
I was chasing up a lead, so I did.

And how do we know that you won't
tell her you were here

when you get back to the station?

Well, you don't, I guess.

But why would I tell her after she's
just filed a complaint against me?

Sorry, sir, am I missing something here?

The mayor wants to know why
you'd trust me more than Deering.

Well, if it comes down to loyalty

then let's just say I've known
the guv a lot longer than Deering.

And I've had no reason not to be
loyal to her until today.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Thanks, Nadine.

So, you said you wanted
to discuss Beckett?

I did.

Ooh, you remembered, custard creams.

Bonnie, hold on, we're
waiting on Spike and Taylor.

They're still in with Caroline.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

I can't think straight knowing
that maniac's still out there.

I mean, I know I look calm

but I'm a bag of nerves.

I'll put more officers around you.

We'll get the bastard,

- that's a promise.
- Thanks, Terry,

I know it's not just words with you,

you'll do whatever it takes.

That's a given.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Two minutes.

Sorry, if you'll excuse me,
I've a meeting so...

Thank you.

Listen, think on, Terry,

it'll be one in the eye for all of those

that said I should have
left you to play golf,

and you're not fit for purpose.

If you get Beckett,
it'll be the making of you.

They don't go in now, they'll miss her.

She's in meetings all afternoon.

Sod this.

Sorry about that in there, Spike,

but I just had to prove to the
mayor she can trust you.

- PHONE RINGS
- Ma'am?

Spike, what the hell is going on?

Yeah, no, I'm still chasing
up that lead in Denton.

I'm just leaving now.

Jesus.

That coffee's gone through
me like a dose of salts.

Correction. "Were" leaving.
Think he's gone to the toilet.

What? Why didn't you stop him?

I never had chance.
I think he's got the shits.

Oh and, ma'am, he's just McCoy's
useful idiot, nothing more.

I reckon if I wasn't there,
she'd have told him straight,

"get Beckett before we do and k*ll him."

Caroline's heading for the meeting room.

We either do this now or
tell Bonnie to pull out.

Trust Terry Dactyl's
bowels to cock this up.

- Do it.
- Bonnie, go in. McCoy's left her office.

She's headed towards you.

Spike, make sure Taylor doesn't come
out of the bogs

or he's going to see
Bonnie and Dennis coming in.

Received.

Sir? You OK?

Oh! Christ it's like a bastard
tap's been turned on.

Ooh! That's all right.
Just take your time.

- Take as much time as you need.
- Oh!

Bonnie, Caroline's
approaching from the right.

I'm about two stone lighter.

Sir, don't you want
to use the hand-dryer?

What for?

Sorry, sir, listen,

I just meant to say, you are
exactly what Friday Street needs.

I've been surrounded
by so much oestrogen,

I think my balls have shrivelled up.

The boys are back in town.

Pull her in to the lift.

Now!

It's all right. Let's go.

No, I don't think so, love.

We're here to make sure you give
Beckett the money you owe him.

- What money?
- The money for the fake hit you arranged.

You don't get it by midday tomorrow,

he won't miss second time around.

You do get it, you
won't hear from him again.

You've not got long. Cut to the wind up.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Come on, that kind of
money's peanuts to you.

All this "I'm still
Jenny from the block" sh*t.

You're just a big phoney.

I bet you've got shoes
worth more than that.

I'm from Cinderly, mate, not Wilmslow.

I begrudge paying quid for a
pair of shoes let alone grand.

Bingo.

I'm calling security,
I'm going to get you two arrested.

I don't think so.

- What the hell are you playing at?
- Oh, f*cking hell.

You get that money for my
mate Joe or I'll finish you.

There was a deal!

There was a deal, right?

Lift's about to stop.

Bonnie, get out of there, he blew
it soon as he got the g*n out.

Go on, you call security, call the cops,

call whoever you like,

they're going to have a lot of questions

and we can give them a lot of answers.

Bonnie had him.

Dennis the f*cking Menace.

He just screwed the whole thing up.

Argh! Give me one good
reason why I shouldn't

take a Taser to your testes right now.

All right, calm your tits,
it weren't even loaded.

You never said a thing about a g*n.

I just thought my way of
getting that bitch to talk

was better than your way.

You've just given McCoy an excuse

to put a bigger ring fence
of Fuzz around her.

All right, no need to go all
Witches of Eastwick on me.

Caddy!

You need to start singing our song

otherwise my girl's
death goes for nothing

and that's not going to
happen on my watch.

We need to fall back on Plan B.

- What's Plan B?
- Haven't a clue.

Unless...

Marilyn.

Ma'am, we're going to need
bait to bring Beckett in.

Gentlemen, any joy on that witness?

Turned out to be an ex with a grudge.

Two hours I spent twatting about on that.

By the way, the Mayor's asked me to
put more officers around her.

Keep on it, everyone!

Beckett's out there somewhere.

I'll make sure I write the
report up now, sir.

Smile wouldn't hurt would it, Tiggy?

Better? And just for the record,
sir, my name is Tegan.

T-E-G-A-N.

You got everybody else's name right
in here except for mine.

I wonder why that is, eh?

You do not speak to a senior
officer like that. Ever!

Constable Thompson? My office. Now.

Look, I know what she was implying
there and I'm not having it.

Besides, how can I be r*cist when my
Go-To wet dream is Oti off Strictly?

You've got me there, sir.

Spike, have you spoken to him
about the whiff?

No, not yet.

Do it before it goes nuclear.

All right.

Now, I know that I'm supposed to
pretend that I DON'T know all

the ins and outs of everybody's
private lives out there,

but you know the rules,

fine for two officers to
have a bit of love action,

not fine when it affects how they do
the job or how they speak to a DCI.

We all know he's r*cist.

Yeah, except for him.

I know, and I promise it will
be dealt with.

But the fact is we're stuck with him

until Marilyn comes back
from her suspension.

So don't let the fossil fart wind you up.

Yeah, well, just so you know,

me and Stu aren't together any more
anyway.

You're just over-reacting to that
stuff with your cousin, that's all.

How do you know?

Told you, all the ins and outs.

Nobody said that the road to happiness

was going to be a smooth one.

But trust me, this is just a little
pot-hole, it's not a sink hole.

You'll be back together before long.

And if you're not, well, bit like
what me Scottish gran used to say

"What's for you'll nae get past you".

What does that even mean?

God knows, she was in a home by then.

Could see Colonel Gaddafi
behind the curtains.

Come on.

You get back out there and be

the lippy, brilliant cop that we all
know you are.

Oh, and before you do...

Erm, I can come back if it's not...

No, no, no, you're all right.

What can I do you for?

Erm, I, er...

I just wanted to say, about before...

It won't happen again.

You're right. It won't.

But apology accepted.

Hey. Don't let it upset you, Tegan.

What did Marilyn say?

A lot of things, ending in "off"

but she has agreed
to work on Pembroke tonight.

What if she can't persuade him?

No bait, no Beckett.
No job to come to in the morning.

It has to be WHEN she persuades him.

Not if.

OK, so when you've heard from Marilyn

that she's got the
money, I'll tell Bonnie.

Beckett said he'd call Dennis
tomorrow to make sure he'd got it.

But he didn't say when he'd call
or where Dennis should meet him.

I thought that you had promised
Tessa a pizza and box set tonight?

Yeah, I did, but I
think I should be here.

She'll say you should be there.

- Yeah, but...
- Go on.

That cyst of hers must be the size
of a grapefruit by now.

More like a melon.

Get gone.

Christ, Vivienne, I've pulled more
strings than Harpo Marx for you.

Pembroke came through.

Two weeks in Malibu, spunk
the rest off in Vegas,

who'd know? Hit the gas, Thelma.

That is "confiscated" money, remember?

Borrowed bait, for hours only.

If you don't get Beckett in that time,

that's going straight back to HQ's vault.

Right, I've booked a Brazilian for .

Thought I'd see what all the
fuss was all about.

Enjoy the rest of your
lady garden leave, then.

Vivienne?

This cannot go wrong.

- Come!
- Can I just have a minute, sir?

Yeah.

Deering doesn't suspect, does she?
Eyes like a bastard chameleon.

Oh, no, no, not a clue.

No, I know how to play her.

Good man.

Are you OK?

Yes, sweating cobs.

Think I might have a shower.

Have you seen the showers, here?

They're like a power shower, good.

I can show you if... if
you're going that way.

Oh, Christ. This isn't what
I think it is, is it?

I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring it up.

I know you're a senior officer.

I'm just trying to say it as it is, mate.

No, not you, Spike. No way.

Not me what?

I never had you down as a knob jockey.

What?! Jesus, no! That's not
what I'm talking about!

What are you going on about
showers and sh*t for?

Because it's...

It's...

You can have that.

I've got three of them at home,
gift sets from Christmas.

Are you saying I smell?

It's, no, it's the air-con.

See, the air-con is on the blink and
it can get really stuffy.

You can use that.

Is that all?

Yeah.

HE COUGHS

Oh! Bonnie.

'Cinderly arches, minutes.'

Ma'am.

We need to go.

Now.

Aren't you meant to be at the
Mayor's swanky do at the Town Hall?

Yeah, that's what I've come to tell you.

I think I'm going to stick around in
case Beckett comes out of hiding.

What if he doesn't?

You'll have missed your guest of
honour spot

and jam roly poly for pud, I'm told.

You can take PC Mitchell with you.
We'll keep you posted.

You don't want to let the
Mayor down, now, do you?

You get anything, I want to hear.

Oh, that goes without saying, sir.

Wait until I give you the nod before
you tell him about Beckett.

Ma'am.

Think it was the jam
roly-poly that swung it.

Is it my imagination or has the
whiff-o-meter dialled down a notch?

Deffo.

Blue-eyed boy's still got it.

Right, shift.

Over five minutes late.

This could be a test.

See if Dennis has been tailed.

Look.

It's him, Dennis.

'Stick to the plan, OK?'

Do exactly as I say. No pissing about.

Millets have gone down the nick,
haven't they?

'Now try to get him to
admit to the fake hit.

'We need him to say Caroline's name.'

Look.

It's all there, Joe,

what McCoy owes you for the fake hit.


Bet you wish you'd sh*t the bitch
dead, saved all this pissing about.

He's holding something in his hand, what?

What's in his hand, Den?

What's this? Phone a friend?

Back up.

Mobile phone.

'What for?'

'You might have been tailed.'

Well, I wasn't. I'd know.

Yeah, well, just in case.

A little farewell from our
old mate, Randy.

You wired a device to him?

It's a b*mb.

I take my finger off this button, boom.

Where is this Randy, Den?

Usual target?

Yeah, of course.

'Miller, find out who's Randy.'

Beckett just said something about
"my old mate", could be Army?

f*cking Randy?

How the hell's Beckett persuaded someone

to have a load of expl*sives
strapped to them?

"Usual target"?

Asian kids.

Could be another school?

Or a mosque?

Mosque is more likely.

-odd mosques in Manchester,

five or six in town and
at least in the south.

The one near the abattoir he worked in.

Could be miles from where
he's been hiding out,

couldn't it? Could be anywhere.

He knows this side of Manchester, though.

He's more likely to have targeted
somewhere round here, isn't he?

Yeah, I'm going to go with Dinah's
joined-up thinking.

So if Randy is within a two-mile radius,

we need to search those mosques first.

Miller? Good.

You've not ordered mobile phone
masts nearby to be switched off?

Was just about to. Why?

We don't know how he's
rigged the device yet.

A switch-off might detonate it.

Might not, but you can't risk it.

Control, calling all officers.

Check all mosques in South Manchester.

We're looking for a bloke carrying
a rucksack, carrier bag, anything.

'Beckett's planted a b*mb on him.
Goes by the name of Randy.'

SIRENS WAIL

If Dennis hasn't the smarts for this,

then a whole load of people
are going to be blown to bits.

You need to keep him talking, Den.

Why don't you just piss off out of here?

Take the money and the sh**t and go?

I'll give you the bag,
and you deactivate the b*mb, yeah?

Since when have you been arsed
about a load of ragheads dying?

What's blowing up a load of Muslims
going to prove, though?

I'm not risking it.

Viv, you can't show your face.
The whole op will fail.

That was before we knew that Beckett
had strapped a b*mb to

somebody who's out there right now.

PHONE BUZZES

- Miller?
- It's not a bloke we're looking for.

He's gone and nicked a frigging goat!

Randy, or Lance Corporal Randolph,
to give him his full title.

Never had a goat named
after me before, a rabbit, yes.

I digress. Look, it's the goat
from his old regiment.

A goat? A goat!

Jesus Christ.

Take the reins. Now, as soon as we
find that goat, call b*mb squad in.

What about Terry Dactyl?

Well, you'll have to stall him
for as long as you can.

No, Viv. Viv, wait!

Just in case, you'll make a cracking DI.

Not as good as me, obviously.

A goat? Is this a wind-up?

Course I'm going to make a go of it
with her, yeah.

She's pregnant.

No.

No. No!

g*n CLICKS

I hope they've offered you more than
pieces of silver.

I'm sorry, mate. I had no choice.

You did, but you chose them over me!

No, I chose Bonnie and the baby.

OK, I know that despite the fact
you're surrounded by armed officers,

it's you that's in control here.

What do you want, Joe?

I want you to stop the lame
attempt at trying to become my mate,

for a kick-off, and cut the "Joe" sh*t!

Fair do's. "Bastard" it is, then.

I only ask cos I assume that,
with or without your back-up plan,

you want to walk out of here
in one piece,

with K and your g*n,
and just disappear?

How could you be turned by her, eh?

A little squashed Madonna.

I don't give a shiny sh*t what you
call me but you need to know

that if you pick up that bag and you
walk off, you will be followed.

Now, you can't run away forever.

You can't run away from this,
all that hate.

The PTSD that they never
properly treated you for,

it'll still be there.

Now, if you take your
finger off that button

and you blow up a load of
innocent people,

we've got nothing left
on the table to discuss.

And if I don't blow them up, you're
just going to let me go, are you?

No, of course not.

You k*lled a brilliant officer
of mine, a good friend.

No, you'll serve a sentence,

but for how long depends on you
not detonating that b*mb.

Negative at Flat Field. On
our way to Cinderly Mosque.

Received.

I'm not serving time for you lot, yeah?

Not no-one!

Not one day!

Give me the g*n, Dennis.

- What you going to do, Joe?
- I'm going to sh**t some pigeons.

What the f*ck do you think
I'm going to do?!

If I'm going out,
I'm going out on my terms!

If you give me the g*n,
I won't set the b*mb off.

I'll hand the phone over here to
Inspector Fat Madge.

I'm not going to stand here
and watch you k*ll yourself.

No way.

Kabul,

Sangin,

Kandahar,

and this one,

this one you know,
because this one I took for you.

Come on, just give me the g*n, Den.

You owe me at least! Give me the g*n!

Dennis, come on.

Give me the g*n!

TRAIN RATTLES

Don't do it, Dennis.

How do I know that you're not going
to sh**t one of my officers?

You don't.

It's your call,

the g*n or the b*mb?

He had put a goat at Cinderly mosque.

A couple of girls untied it.

Where is it, then?

I'm not sure, fella said he saw
them heading towards

Cinderly Market,
so we're on our way there.

If you find it, you wait till
b*mb squad are there.

SIREN WAILS

OK, before Dennis gives you the
g*n for you to blow your brains out,

make your last words an admission
that Caroline McCoy arranged

a fake assassination,
and that you were the gunman.

You just need to say that it's true,

and then Dennis will hand you the g*n,

you stop that b*mb and you can
leave this world on your own terms.

Two words, "It's true."

Two words, get f*cked.

They're your terms, not mine.

Dennis! Give me the g*n!

Come on, Dennis.

Do you think that McCoy
didn't know that Dirkin had

paid Dennis to sh**t you?

No, neither do I.

And if you don't say those words,
then she's going to come up

smelling of roses and you are going
to end up reeking of failure.

Is that what you want?

Stick together.

There it is.

All right, girls?
Where did you get that goat?

Erm, the goat shop.

Thing is, we're going to need to
borrow this goat, just for a minute.

No. We found it. It's ours.

Right, you know that psycho
who poisoned the Halal meat?

Well, he's wired that goat with
a load of expl*sives,

so if you don't hand it over, we're
all going to be in bits, literally.

Run! b*mb on that goat! b*mb!

GOAT BLEATS

We've found the goat at
Cinderly Market. It's on the run.

Right, wait till b*mb squad are there.

We can't. It's in with a load of people.

We've got to get it out of here.

All officers to Cinderly Market.

Miller, get down there,
they need all the help they can get.

Jonah, we've found the b*mb.

It's strapped to a goat running
around Cinderly Market.

Tegan and Stuart are trying to catch it.

You'll have to give Terry Dactyl
the heads-up,

b*mb Squad are on their way.

Copy that.

Give the goat apples, one at a time.

Lead it away from the marketplace
to somewhere safe.

What Cinderly has needed for ages
is a proper Chief Inspector,

but unfortunately I couldn't find one.

I'm joking!

Ladies and gentlemen, DCI Terry Taylor.

Sir, Beckett's been found
at Cinderly Arches.

Terry, what's going on?

They've found Beckett at Cinderly
Arches. I need to be there.

All right, well, remember,
this is your chance to shine.

Whatever you do, I'll back you to
the hilt, but do it.

Erm, excuse me everybody, duty calls!

Raise your glasses for DCI Terry Taylor!

Bonnie, you need to go,
Taylor can't find you here with us.

Dennis, just give me the g*n! Dennis!

Dennis, look at me. Look at me, Dennis!

Come on.

That's it, come on.

Come on, Rudolph.

It's Randolph.

Right, gents, can you do yourselves
a favour and get gone?

Move, guys, I need you to go down
that way, please.

You too, madam. Be safe, not cheeky!

Guys, there's a b*mb on the goat.

Just move that way, please.
Clear the area.

Here. Apples, not oranges!

Oh! No time to be picky about your
food, Randy, Christ! Wait there.

The g*n!

Dennis, Dennis!

- SIREN WAILS
- Think of your kid.

Dennis!

- CAR DOORS CLOSE
- It's an order.

RADIO: DCI Taylor is on the scene.
He's now in command.

BELL RINGS

We're going to run out of apples.

Stu, what I said about your dad before...

- GOAT BLEATS
- ..I didn't mean it.

GOAT BLEATS

BELL RINGS

WOMAN: Denise, I won't tell
you again. Get a move on!

sh*t. You there, I need you to move
right back for me, please.

Get out the way! Get back!
Everyone, clear the area!

Give me the g*n! Give me the...!

g*nsh*t Say it.

sh**t the subject.

g*nshots

Stuart? Tegan? Come in.

FEEDBACK HISSES

DISTANT SIRENS WAIL

Stuart!

Ma'am...

Ma'am, I'm here, but Stu...

Viv, give us a minute.

SPLUTTERING

Let's get the medics in, now!

No, no, no, sweetheart. Not you.

Not you.

HE EXHALES How did you...?

I legged it around the other side.

Ma'am, our brave boy is
still in one piece.

The other good news,
there's no serious casualties.

The bad news is
Lance Corporal Randolph is

spread over four postcodes.

Right, get a room or a wiggle on,
Beckett's been sh*t.

Ah! I've got goat on me.

No, I tell a lie, it's pasty.

SIRENS WAIL

He nearly said it, we could have had her.

DINAH PANTS

Dinah, what you doing?

He k*lled Joy.

Dinah, we need him alive, right?

Now. Come on.

OK... One, two, come on!

SIREN WAILS

I thought he'd sh*t you.

I had to give the order.

I know. Aside from one dead goat,
no casualties from the b*mb.

I had no choice.

Is he dead?

I don't know.

What was he saying? What did he want?

He was just banging on
about betrayal, loyalty,

being used by people he thought he
could trust, that sort of thing.

I'm a woman of my word, Terry,
I'll back you all the way.

MACHINE BEEPS STEADILY

My mate Spike just entered the room.

You two met.

He was the one who was nearly
not with us today, but he is...

...and he forgives you.

Like all Joy's friends, he must.

Because the day you pulled a g*n on
Caroline McCoy, Joseph,

you were paid to miss, weren't you?

This could substantially
change your defence.

Did Caroline McCoy pay for
that stunt herself?

One blink for yes...

HE MOANS ..two blinks for no.

BEEPING SPEEDS UP

MACHINE FLATLINES

SHE SPITS

DOOR OPENS

SIREN WAILS

How many people would it
take to shut this down?

Hospitals don't seem to need
much help these days.

No, no. She's talking about
the death certificate.

Well, there's us and, what,
six staff finishing shift?

Caroline McCoy doesn't know
what he just chose to tell us.

Better still, she doesn't need to
know if he's dead at all.

- Has he gone?
- Far from it, Caroline.

So, how can I help you, lads?

We're activating
your Operation Dead Beckett.

You met your match, didn't you?

We've an odd case transpiring.

- Give me a minute to break it to Dinah.
- I'll do it.

- This is a joke!
- Hey, hey!

Which dress for tonight?

If we don't get her now, we never will.

- Oh, f*ck!
- This is karma.

- SIREN WAILS
- He's not breathing. No pulse.

Oi! Let me out!

If this backfires, that's the lot of us.

- What?
- Take her breath away.

I can't stop thinking about you.

Viv...

We need to string Caroline McCoy up,
or I'm taking her out myself.

I'm not getting in.

g*nsh*t
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