01x03 - Welcome to Happy Harbor

[bunniefuu]

[GRUNTING]

You again.

I'm starting to get insulted Green Arrow's not messing up my operations personally.

[GRUNTS]

Do you know what I pay for a suit in my size?

Scorch the earth, boys.

[GRUNTING]

[ROBIN LAUGHING]

[COUGHING]

The cave is perfect. It has everything the team will need.

For covert missions. You know, spy stuff.

Wait till you see Superboy and Miss Martian. But I saw her first.

[SHOUTING]

Ha, ha. Tell Arrow he shouldn't send boys to do a man's job.

Go ahead.

High-density polyurethane foam. Nice.

So, Speedy, you in?

Pass.

I'm done letting Arrow and the League tell me what to do.

I don't need a babysitter or a clubhouse hang-out with the other kids.

Your Junior Justice League is a joke.

Something to keep you busy and in your place.

I don't want any part of it.

COMPUTER: Recognized: Robin-B-01.

Kid Flash-B-03.

Did you ask him? What did he say?

He's arriving now.

Then what are we waiting for?

Red Tornado.

Greetings. Is there a reason you intercept me outside the cave?

We hoped you had a mission for us.

Mission assignments are the Batman's responsibility.

It's been over a week and... You will be tested soon enough.

For the time being, simply enjoy each other's company.

This team is not a social club.

No. But I am told social interaction is an important team-building exercise.

Perhaps you can keep busy by familiarizing yourself with the cave.

"Keep busy."

Does he think we're falling for this? Oh, I'll find out.

COMPUTER: Recognized: Red Tornado-16.

I'm sorry. I forgot he's a machine.

Inorganic. I cannot read his mind.

Nice try, though.

So, uh, you know what I'm thinking right now?

We all know what you're thinking now. Ow.

And now we tour the clubhouse.

Well, Superboy and I live here. We can play tour guides.

Don't look at me. We won't.

A private tour sounds much more fun.

She never said private.

Team-building. We'll all go.

[WALLY GRUNTS]

M'GANN: So this would be our front door.

And this would be the back.

The cave is actually the entire mountain. WALLY: It was hollowed out and reinforced...

...by Superman and Green Lantern in the early days of the League.

Then why abandon it for the Hall of Justice?

The cave's secret location was compromised.

So they traded it in for a tourist trap? Yeah, that makes sense.

If villains know of the cave, we must be on constant alert.

Bad guys know we know they know about the place. They'd never look here.

He means we're hiding in plain sight.

Ah, that's much clearer.

[SNIFFS]

I smell smoke.

Ahh, my cookies.

I was trying out Grammy Jones' recipe from episode 17 of...

Uh, heh. Never mind. I bet they'd have tasted great.

He doesn't seem to mind.

I have a serious metabolism.

I'll make more?

It was sweet of you to make any. Thanks, Aqualad.

We're off-duty. Call me Kaldur' Ahm.

Actually, my friends call me Kaldur.

I'm Wally. See, I already trust you with my secret ID...

...unlike Mr. Dark Glasses over here.

Batman's forbidden Boy Wonder from telling anyone his real name.

Mine's no secret. It's M'gann M'orzz.

But you can call me Megan. It's an Earth name, and I'm on Earth now.

Don't worry, Superboy.

[GASPS]

We'll find you an Earth name too.

Get out of my head!

M'GANN: What's wrong? I don't understand.

Everyone on Mars communicates telepathically.

M'gann, stop.

Things are different on Earth.

Here, your powers are an extreme invasion of privacy.

Besides, Cadmus' creepy little psychic G-Gnomes left a bad taste in his brain.

I didn't mean to...

Just stay out.

Hello, Megan. I know what we can do.

Superboy, please?

Don't talk to me.

It's my Martian Bio-Ship.

Cute. Not aerodynamic, but cute.

It's at rest, silly. I'll wake it.

Well, are you coming?

Strap in for launch.

Oh!

Cool.

Red Tornado, please open the bay doors.

Incredible.

She sure is.

I mean, the ship, which, like all ships, is a she.

Fast with his feet...

...not so much with his mouth. Dude.

I may not have psychic powers, but I can guess what you're thinking.

You overreacted and you don't know how to apologize.

Just say sorry.

[WHISPERING] He'll come around. He doesn't seem to like me much.

You guys remember he has super-hearing, right?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] How about showing us a little Martian shape-shifting?

Is it wrong that I think I'm hot?

Impressive.

But you know you're not exactly gonna fool anyone with those.

Mimicking boys is a lot harder.

And your clothes? They're organic, like the ship.

They respond to my mental commands.

As long as they're the only ones.

Can you do that ghosting-through-walls that Manhunter does?

Density-shifting?

No. It's a very advanced technique.

Flash can vibrate his molecules right through a wall.

Ha-ha-ha. When he tries it, bloody nose.

Dude.

Here's something I can do.

Camouflage mode.

RED TORNADO [OVER RADIO]: Red Tornado to Miss Martian.

An emergency alert has been triggered at the Happy Harbor Power Plant.

I suggest you investigate, covertly.

- I'm sending coordinates. Received. Adjusting course.

Tornado's keeping us busy again.

M'GANN: Well, a simple fire led you to Superboy.

We should find out what caused the alert.

I think I know the cause.

[GRUNTING]

[WORKERS SCREAMING]

Robin, are tornadoes common to New England? Robin?

[ROBIN LAUGHING]

He was just here.

[GRUNTS]

Who's your new friend?

Didn't catch his name, but he plays kind of rough.

My apologies. You may address me as Mr. Twister.

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

MR. TWISTER: I was prepared to be challenged by a superhero.

I was not, however, expecting children.

We're not children.

Objectively, you are.

Have you no adult supervision?

I find your presence here quite disturbing.

d*ck: Well, we hate to see you disturbed.

Let's see if you're more turbed once we kick your can.

[SHOUTS]

Indeed, that was quite turbing.

Thank you.

What have you done to my team? Embarrassed them, largely.

M'GANN: I got you, Wally. Thanks.

I would have thought you had all learned your limitations by now.

What do you want?

MR. TWISTER: Isn't it obvious?

I'm waiting for a real hero.

Read his mind. Find a weakness. I thought I wasn't supposed to do that.

It's okay with the bad guys.

Nothing. I'm getting nothing.

Hello, Megan.

Mr. Twister is Red Tornado in disguise.

He's inorganic. An android.

And how many androids do you know that can generate tornados?

Red Tornado sent us here.

After saying we'd be tested soon enough.

This is his test. Something to keep us busy.

Speedy called it. We're a joke.

[GRUNTS]

This game, so over.

We know who you are and what you want.

So let's end this.

Consider it ended.

An impressive show.

But we will not indulge you. We will not engage.

[THUNDER CRASHING]

Uh, can Red Tornado do that?

You think I'm Tornado? Ironic.

[ALL SHOUT]

Fine, then. I won't deny you children have power.

Playing hide-and-seek with you will not help me achieve my objectives.

So stay concealed.

If you confront me again, I will show no mercy.

What happened? I placed the Bio-Ship between us.

[SUPERBOY SHOUTS]

That supposed to make it right?

You tricked us into thinking Twister was Red Tornado.

She didn't do it on purpose. It was a rookie mistake.

We shouldn't have listened. WALLY: You are pretty inexperienced.

Hit the showers. We'll take it from here.

Stay out of our way.

I was just trying to be part of the team.

To be honest, I'm not sure we really have a team.

[CAR ALARMS BLARING]

[ALL SHOUTING]

Certainly, this will get the required attention.

You got ours, full and undivided.

Immaterial and insufficient.

You are a distraction I can no longer tolerate.

[SCREAMS]

The team really needs your help.

If I intervened, it would not be to help.

Still, it is an odd coincidence that this Twister shares my elemental abilities.

And my immunity to telepathy.

Hello, Megan.

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

You brought your utility belt?

"Never leave home without it." First thing Batman taught me.

Yeah, right after, "Never go to the bathroom without it."

M'GANN: Listen to me, all of you.

- What did we tell you? I know, and I know I messed up.

But now I'm very clear on what we need to do.

Please, trust me.

Get back! Everyone clear the area!

Hit the showers, boys.

I was hoping you could handle this. Clearly you cannot.

But we've got a plan now.

The subject is not up for debate.

MR. TWISTER: I was beginning to believe you'd never show up.

I'm here now.

We are evenly matched, Twister.

No, Tornado, we are not.

Remain still, android.

The reprogramming won't take long.

Longer than you might think.

No.

Foul. I call foul.

M'gann, no!

Don't know how things are done on Mars, but on Earth we don't execute our captives.

You said you'd trust me.

That's why I couldn't read his mind.

Cool. Souvenir.

We should have had more faith in you.

Yeah, you rocked this mission. Get it? Rocked? Heh.

d*ck: Ignore him.

We're just all turbed you're on the team.

M'GANN: Thanks. Me too.

PROFESSOR: Now, Brom, aren't you relieved I didn't let you wear the armor?

Extremely, professor. But you're not upset?

I'm convinced our tracking program was operational...

...and that the real Tornado was somewhere in the vicinity.

Besides, you know science advances in fits and starts.

Even failure can be instructive.

And I'd say we learned quite a lot today.

KALDUR: It was clearly created to sabotage or destroy you.

RED TORNADO: Agreed. Is that why you wouldn't help us?

No. This was your battle.

I do not believe it is my role to solve your problems for you.

Nor should you solve mine for me.

But if you're in danger...

Consider this matter closed.

Batman, Aquaman and Flash, they'd have jumped right in to fix things.

Guess if we're gonna have a babysitter, a heartless machine is exactly what we need.

Dude, harsh. RED TORNADO: And inaccurate.

I have a heart. Carbon-steel alloy.

I also have excellent hearing.

Ha, right. Sorry. I'll strive to be more accurate.

And more respectful.

Speedy was so wrong.

d*ck: This team thing? KALDUR: Might just work out.

Sorry.