01x20 - Coldhearted

[bunniefuu]

[ALARM BEEPING]

[GROANS]

[YAWNS]

Hey. Sweet 16.

WALLY [SINGSONG]: That's right, it's my birthday.

Arm's all better. Got my cast off too.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] And it's snowing? Cool.

This is gonna be a good day.

MARY: Happy birthday, Wally.

WALLY: Oh, my favorite breakfast. Heaping piles of everything.

Thanks, Mom.

Ha, ha. You know, if you ever come up for air...

...I can take you to the DMV to get your driver's license after school.

This weather will be a good proving ground.

Mm-hm. Mm.

Not really in a big rush to drive, Dad.

Because, you know, I'm me.

Ha, ha. You certainly are.

Plus, the Team's throwing me a big surprise party this afternoon at the cave.

In school today, ask your teacher the definition of "surprise."

WALLY: You want surprised?

Just watch Miss Martian's expression when I collect my birthday kiss.

Mwah. Ha!

Well, I have a surprise for you. Or at least your Aunt Iris does.

And a special shout-out to my nephew Wally...

...wishing him a very happy 16th birthday.

- So cool. IRIS [ON TV]: Now for school closures.

The following schools have declared today a snow day:

Dubuc Elementary, Spisak Junior High, Central City High...

...Keystone High. Oh, yes.

WALLY: Could life get any sweeter?

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

COMPUTER: Recognized: Kid Flash-B-Zero-Three.

Zeta- Tube network now off-line due to extreme atmospheric conditions.

Whoa. I just made it.

Be a tragedy if I missed my own... ALL: Surprise!

What? Oh, you guys. You shouldn't have.

Right. Not like you've been hinting for days or anything.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

MISS MARTIAN: We made two cakes. Awesome. What'll you guys eat?

We'll split the cupcake. Make a wish.

Way ahead of you.

[ALL CHEER]

FLASH: Happy birthday.

You know, if I tell you my wish, it won't come true.

But if you guess...

Nope. Guess again.

Happy birthday.

[KID FLASH SIGHS]

[ALL CHATTERING]

You settling in here okay?

Oh, yeah. It's just like home.

I know this is all very new and intimidating, but I promise you...

...someday...

...you'll get used to watching Wally eat.

Think we should tell him?

You're getting warmer, babe, but I could make you warmer still.

He is the only one who doesn't know. Then, please, allow me.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[MISS MARTIAN GIGGLES]

Oh, man.

BATMAN [OVER PA]: Attention, Team. Suit up.

Polar Stealth. Mission briefing in five.

KID FLASH: Where's Flash?

Flash and Red Tornado already have their assignments.

[ON SCREEN] A massive ice storm has paralyzed North America...

...from coast to coast.

Satellite imagery has detected five flying ice fortresses, source unknown...

...which seem to be responsible and must be stopped.

Can't the Watchtower blow them out of the sky or something?

What's a Watchtower?

[BATMAN SIGHS]

The league's orbiting headquarters is not weaponized.

And with both Green Lanterns off-world, I need all hands on deck.

Does that mean what I think it means?

The league and the Team fighting side-by-side?

Whoa, really?

WALLY: Now that's a birthday wish come true.

Superboy, use the Super-Cycle to rendezvous with the Batplane...

...at Ice Fortress 1.

You'll drop off Robin and Aqualad, then continue on with Wolf...

...to meet up with Black Canary and Red Tornado at Ice Fortress 2.

Miss Martian, Artemis, Zatanna, take the Bio Ship...

...and rendezvous with Green Arrow and Martian Manhunter at Fortress 3.

Other leaguers will deal with Fortresses 4 and 5.

Sending all coordinates now.

Uh, Batman? I think you skipped...

Kid Flash, a young girl in Seattle is in desperate need of a heart transplant.

With all conventional air traffic grounded by the storm...

...you'll need to pick up the donor heart in Boston and run it 3000 miles across country.

KID FLASH: No, no, no.

He can't seriously expect me to skip the first ever league-Team team-up?

KID FLASH: Who is this girl? Does it matter?

No, of course not, but can't we Zeta...?

Zeta-Tubes are off-line. Sorry.

Right. Then how can I say no?

KID FLASH: Seriously, how?

Guess I won't be needing stealth.

Speedy Delivery Boy, at your service.

BATMAN [OVER RADIO]: Law enforcement across the country...

...has been alerted to your mission and is clearing your route.

[SIGHS]

Lucky stiffs.

Put your backs into it. We have to clear this road.

KID FLASH: Too late. Too late.

[KID FLASH GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

[KID FLASH PANTING]

Someone order a pizza?

What you're delivering is considerably more precious...

...to a girl whose life depends on it.

Duh. I meant did anyone order a pizza for me?

A guy burns a lot of calories running a few mph shy of the speed of sound.

Sorry, no. Now listen.

This pack is heavily insulated for shock absorption...

...but that doesn't mean the organ within needs any extraneous jostling.

So no krumping. Got it.

Your PDA?

You have four hours to deliver the heart before it's no longer viable.

Is that clear? As crystal, babe.

Then go.

KID FLASH: Guess asking for her number's pointless.

Do you see him? Nope.

Did you see him? Nope.

KID FLASH: Making decent time at least.

I'm at max speed now, but if I push it...

...maybe I can dump this load, save the girl, and join the real action.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

KID FLASH: Oh, come on.

Robin and Aqualad with Batman, Aquaman and Flash?

Who's missing from this picture?

[GASPS]

Uh-oh.

[GRUNTING]

Need to find me a little detour.

Oh, man, I'd give this heart for a double chili-cheeseburger...

...or a, mm, tacostada or, ooh, a Chicken Whizee.

He's due past here any minute. VANDAL SAVAGE: Lovely.

Now all I have to do is get his attention.

Any ideas?

[ALL GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

KID FLASH: What was that? Who was that?

It's him.

Go, get out of here. I'll handle Vandal.

VANDAL SAVAGE: You'll handle me?

[GRUNTING]

Little hero, do you really think you have what it takes to survive Vandal Savage?

[GRUNTING]

KID FLASH: This guy is so going down.

When I heard authorities were cordoning off this highway for a speedster...

...I assumed I'd be confronting Flash himself.

He and I are due for a reckoning.

But I suppose I must settle for making him miserable...

...by k*lling his brat sidekick instead.

KID FLASH: Troopers are safely out of range. Good.

Frees me up to show Savage just what a brat sidekick can do.

[SCREAMING]

[GROWLS]

KID FLASH: Kind of bashing my head into a brick wall, here. Need a new approach.

Well, you're truly running circles around me.

How will I cope?

KID FLASH: Not coping so great now, is he?

[PDA BEEPS]

What am I doing?

Sure, I'd love to finish trashing the big jerk, but that won't save the girl.

[TICKING]

It should suffice.

KID FLASH: Wasted about 15 minutes on Savage, but I can still reach Seattle on time.

Great. Out of snacks. Dude, you are so running on fumes right now.

Battle didn't help with that either. But forget the hunger.

Forget the freezing temp. Forget the windchill.

Just go. Go!

[SPEAKING INCANTATION]

[GRUNTING]

Kid Flash.

I made it. I'm here.

I'm... I'm sorry. You're too late.

No, no. Look, I've got almost 20 minutes to spare.

I know, but she passed away 12 minutes ago.

Twelve? Twelve minutes?

Please, don't blame yourself.

I'm sure you got here as fast as you could.

KID FLASH: Twelve minutes. The fight took 15.

Maybe another recipient can be found.

[SIGHS]

WOMAN 1 [OVER PA]: Paging Dr. Howard, Dr. Bedford, Dr. Bereno.

[SIGHS]

WOMAN 2 [ON TV]: Superman, Captain Marvel and Doctor Fate...

...have brought down a fourth ice fortress.

Kid Flash. We've been waiting for you. Where is the queen's heart?

The girl's dead so now the heart's going to a queen?

The girl is the queen. Queen Perdita of Vlatava, age 10.

And she's not dead, but she is running out of time.

KID FLASH: I've been conned.

No.

Unh. Huh?

[GRUNTS]

Love to take these creeps out, but can't put the heart at risk again.

They're blocking the stairs...

...so we'll take the high road.

[GROANING]

That was nauseatingly familiar.

Count Vertigo.

Now it all makes sense.

Queen Perdita stands between her uncle Vertigo and the Vlatavan crown.

[GROANING]

Crawling away. Is the young hero reduced to that?

Hey, I'm not proud. VERTIGO: Apparently.

KID FLASH: Not defeated either.

Not when I still have one w*apon left: My big mouth.

I don't get it, Vertigo.

You were defeated with the rest of the Injustice League.

How come you're not in Belle Reve Prison with your putrid pals?

As a member of the Vlatavan royal family...

...I have immunit� diplomatique...

...as long as no crimes against Vlatava can be proven against me.

But when the queen needed a heart, Count Heartless heard opportunity knock.

The ice fortresses were all part of the plan to m*rder your niece.

And Savage, he intentionally stalled me as a favor to you.

Heh, it is nice to have friends.

Now, shall we see if I can k*ll two hearts with one blow?

Take your best sh*t.

No.

Yes!

[ALL GRUNTING]

VERTIGO: Enough.

[KID FLASH GROANING]

KID FLASH: Love to continue this love fest, count...

...but you're not my priority.

KID FLASH: Tell me there's still time.

Take it. Go!

Right. Right. Transplant team to O.R. 2, stat.

[GROANING]

Wally's birthday dinner will be completely dried out.

Shh. Mary.

WOMAN [ON TV]: Hawkman, Hawkwoman, Captain Atom...

...and Wonder Woman have defeated a fifth flying ice fortress.

But this just in.

Despite the best efforts of Kid Flash and a team of transplant surgeons...

...young Queen Perdita of Vlatava d*ed on the operating table...

...at Seattle Medical Center.

[KID FLASH GROANS]

KID FLASH: Count Vertigo.

That's King Vertigo to you, peasant.

King? Perdita is dead.

And the beauty of it is I never laid a hand on her.

And now no one can lay a hand on you.

As King of Vlatava, I'm untouchable.

Let's test that theory. Unh. Ow.

Now, now, little hero, you'll pull your stitches.

Besides, who exactly are you mad at, hmm?

She d*ed on the table.

All that planning, all that effort, neither of us need have bothered.

Right, and now it must k*ll you to know that you owe favors to Vandal Savage...

...and I'm guessing five ice villains for nothing.

Not at all. They played their roles in my attempt to rid Vlatava of Perdita.

We couldn't know it was unnecessary.

So you all still deserve credit for attempted m*rder.

It's called regicide.

It's called you're busted, jerkface.

I believe you know Queen Perdita. No.

VERTIGO [ON RECORDING]: It's called regicide.

Count Werner Vertigo...

...as queen of Vlatava, I hereby accuse you of high treason against the Crown...

...and revoke your diplomatic immunity.

No!

[VERTIGO GRUNTING]

Send this clown to Belle Reve.

Well played, children. Admittedly, well played.

This round goes to you.

And please, by all means...

...allow the victory to go to your heads.

Thank you. Your plan worked perfectly.

Well, when I woke up and found out you were in recovery...

...I knew Vertigo would make another attempt on your life...

...unless A, he thought you were dead, and two, he lost that darn immunity...

...and was sent away for good.

That sword is an heirloom belonging to my country.

Not to the count.

I would be pleased for you to have it as a reward...

...or as a souvenir?

And here's the king's royal lunch.

[INMATES LAUGHING]

The league destroyed the five ice fortresses...

...but failed to capture whomever was behind them.

But Icicle Sr., Icicle Jr., k*ller Frost, Captain Cold and Mr. Freeze...

...are by far the most likely suspects.

That's impossible.

All five were in their cells for the duration of the crisis.

WALLY: The sword was cool...

...but this just seemed like the right souvenir for the right mission.

Dude, I just heard. You saved an entire country.

Major kudos.

What can I say? I'm the man.

WALLY: The man who finally figured out...

...that the sweetest birthday present...

...a lucky stiff like me could ever get was seeing that little girl's smile.