12x05 - Got Your Money: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

Zig:
what did mo say?

I learned the lyrics that
you guys gave me off by heart!

Maya, please,
I hate secrets!

Maya:
zig...

I'm so, so sorry...

You're officially
a member of whisperhug.

Zig: no friggin' way!
Tori: what'd I miss?

Zig:
oh, you know, your boyfriend
is just the lead singer

Of a rock band!

Oh! I knew it!

Maya:
oh, must you two
do this?

Tori:
everything's coming up tori.

Today, my sweetie became
a rock star,

And tomorrow,
we celebrate our...

Zig:
our...

Maya: four month...
Zig: four month anniversary!

Tori:
you forgot!

No, in-in fact,

I was planning
a big surprise.

Oh my god!
I love surprises.

You know
I love surprises!

Yaaaaaay!

We should get dressed up.

I can wear my new dress,

And you can wear anything
except those uniform khakis.

Why? What's wrong
with them?

Tori:
the only other guy
who still wears them

Is your buddy damon,

And that's 'cause
he can't afford anything else.

If you want,

I can help you
pick out a pair.

Uh, no, no,
that's okay, I got it.

(Coach's whistle blows)

(Shoes clatter)

(Relieved sigh)

♪♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

♪ And if I hold out ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

♪♪

♪ Be the best ♪

♪ The best that I can be ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it ♪

♪ I can make it ♪

♪ I can make it through ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ I can make it through ♪
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

♪ I can make it through ♪

♪ I can make it ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

(Bus rumbles)

We made it,

Eleven hours on a bus!

But travelling all night
was worth it!

I'm so excited
to see my girlfriend!

Well, girlfriend,
I mean we've only kissed once.

That's my ride.

Oh, uh...

There you go.

Thank you.

(Sighs)

Fiones!

It's a sign!
(Squeals excitedly)

(Laughs)

Damon:
five finger discount
on chocolate bars today?

Touch anything
and you die.

Damon:
relax, man.

New jeans.

Your rich girlfriend
buy them for you?

Lost and found find.

What do you think
for tori?

Mac and cheese
was always her favourite.

Nah. What about these?

Zig:
I'll make you eat them.

Look, this is serious, okay?

I really want to impress her.

Damon:
man, I don't know how you hang
around with those rich kids,

Their parents buying them
all their phones,

And video games,
and shiny new shoes.

We gotta get to school.

Uh, hey, mom?

Dijana:
da?

Do we have any of those, uh,
hair clips for girls?

(Responds in russian)

Uh, don't worry about it.

I always worry.

Damon:
he doesn't think moth balls

Are going to impress
his girlfriend.

Dijana:
(responds in russian)

Damon:
da, zig,

Why don't you bring her here?

Dijana:
just wait.

These just came in.

Tori'll love it.

Much better
than moth balls.

I don't care if our families
hate each other's guts,

I love you.

Oh my gosh,
I have lines on every page!

Well, romeo's name
is in the title;

That should've been
your first clue.

I only joined the musical
to do something

While you're busy
science-ing,

And now I'm the star!

Well, you'll be amazing,

And knock everybody's
shakespearean socks off.

Yeah, you could be looking
at the next will smith.

Just stay away
from your leading lady, okay?

Who is your juliet?
'Cause I hate her already.

Uh, I don't know,
last I heard,

Eli was still doing
callbacks.

But it doesn't matter
whoever she is,

'Cause you're my only juliet.

Well, I might get jealous

Watching you romance
some super hottie on stage.

It's just acting,
baby.

(Laughs)

Hey!

Uh, sorry,
terrible timing.

Oh...it's no problem.

Dave, I've been looking
for you, this is-

Tristan.
Nice to meet you.

Eli:
yeah, I thought you two
should meet,

Since you'll be working closely
together on the musical.

Closely?

Yeah, very closely.

Romeo,
this is your juliet.

(Laughs)

(Gasps)

(Bell rings)

Fiona:
I can't believe we only have
two classes together!

We have the same
study period.

Maybe I should transfer
into your calculus class.

It's too late
to change.

Boo! I wish I hadn't come back
a week late.

You had to help your mom
adjust to house arrest.

How's she doing,
by the way?

You're joining
student council, right?

I might be busy
with other things.

Like what?

(Hockey players laugh
and holler)

What's with the jock-a-thon?

Your locker's now
in hockey player central.

Dallas:
come on, bro,
you lose every time!

(Laughs)

My mysterious neighbour
finally appears.

I didn't dream
you'd be so hot, though.

I'm mike dallas,
and you are?

The wrong tree
to be barking up.

That's a terrible name,
you should change it.

It's fiona coyne.

Look, I'm flattered,
but not interested.

Well, I love me
a challenge.

And I love me girls.

(Chuckles) no way!
You're way too pretty.

This is my girlfriend.

Dallas:
she's a lesbian,
and you're a lesbian?

Is this heaven?
I thought it was high school!

(Hockey players laugh)

Sorry, ladies,

I won't be able to buy
this "lesbian" thing

Unless you prove it.

Let's see you kiss.

Ew!

Fiona:
ew?

Yeah, ew!

Come on,
just one kiss.

Sure,
we'll kiss each other,

After you kiss him.

I have to go.

Wait, aren't we having
lunch together?

Can't;
band practice.

You joined a band?
That's so silly!

Do you even play
an instrument?

Sort of.
I've gotta run.

That girl ain't no lesbian.

You're vile.

(Laughs)

Dallas:
(yells at other hockey players)

Oof!

♪ For your love ♪

♪ I'd give up my name ♪

♪ Give up my world ♪

♪ 'Cause you are the flame ♪

♪ That burns in my heart ♪

♪ And makes life complete ♪

♪ A rose by another name... ♪
(Sighs heavily)

Dave, are you okay?

'Cause I feel like you're not
you're not um... Feeling it.

Dave:
yeah, I'm just warming up.

Warming up?

We've been doing this scene
for an hour!

Look, I don't know
if I can do this, okay?

I'm not gay.

No offense.

None taken.

You're also not italian.

You don't have to actually
be in love with jules,

You just have to,
uh, pretend.

Maybe it'd be a little easier

If he looked more like
ryan gosling.

No offense.

Uh, offense!
I take offense!

Ugh! I'm taking
a granola break.

(Frustrated sigh)

Look, I know
I sprang this on you,

But you're a good actor.

Dave:
it's too weird!

I mean, why'd you have to cast
a dude as juliet anyways?

You trying to make a statement
or something?

Yeah, I am!

Some people aren't okay
with two dudes being in love.

Imagine if people hated on you
for dating alli.

Okay, yeah,
that would seriously suck.

Okay, I'll try to make
this work.

Okay, but I don't know
how to play gay.

Just follow tristan's lead.

♪ Every day I feel
I'm trying to be someone ♪

♪ Forgetting that someone... ♪

Be someone and let go!

♪ Everybody stand up ♪

♪ Everybody means you! ♪

♪ This is it,
this is ours ♪

♪ Come on,
shine through ♪

♪ Everyday I feel I'm trying
to be someone ♪

♪ Forgetting that someone ♪

♪ Please be my someone ♪

(Plays wildly on keyboard)

Zig:
oh!

That felt good!

That sounded good!

Imogen:
so when are we playing
our first stadium show?

Mo:
easy, we only have one song.

Which our bassist
hasn't learned,

'Cause he's been sick
with a cold all week.

Imogen:
boo, adam!

Mo:
plus, we need someone
to learn the guitar part.

M-me? No,
I don't have an axe.

Now you do.

Oh! (Laughs)

I'll teach you the chords
after school.

Oh, I can't,
I've got an anniversary date.

Oh, how long?

Four months.

Is that a thing?

Yeah,
for tori it is.

So what'd you get her?

What?

Mo:
you really went all out, man.

But I thought it was
the thought that counts, right?

Well, tori's thought
was to spend

Her entire allowance
from the past five years on you.

That's crazy!

And she's crazy
about you, zig.

I'm sure you'll find
the perfect thing.

♪♪

Hey!

Hey.

How was band practice?

Uh, tori, we need to talk
about our anniversary.

I already told you

I don't want any spoilers
for the big date.

I have to cancel.

Like you mean reschedule,
or...?

Well, the next few weeks,
um, are really busy

With the band and all,
so, um...

Hey, why don't we
just celebrate

Our six month anniversary?

I mean, four months isn't
really a thing, right?

I know it's not a thing;
that's the point.

We were making it
our thing.

Tori, you're making way too big
a deal out of this.

I mean, there's more
important things in the world!

Not to me.

Sorry for liking you
so much.

Fiona:
so if katie's out
as student council prez,

Who's in charge?

Marisol:
it's just you and me, babe.

Okay, then we've got
a lot of work to do

'Cause the events calendar
is blank.

I know!

Simpson thinks student council

Should make up
for the botched pep rally

By including the hockey team
in the next event.

But the hockey team hates
student council,

So... Stalemate.

I had such high expectations
for this semester.

What a letdown.

Aren't you and pigtails
living happily ever after?

Imogen doesn't wanna spend
any time with me.

All her classes
are different,

And apparently,
she's in a band.

Marisol:
whisperhug?

That's mo's band.

Well,
doesn't it bother you

That the person you wanna
spend all your time with

Is busy with something else?

You are being
a static cling monster.

It's good you and imogen
have different interests.

We need to throw a dance.

Agreed.

That whisperhug
can play at!

Man, mo would freak out!

I have to make this up
to imogen.

I called the band silly.

So getting them to play
at the dance would be perfect.

So you have to get
the hockey team

Behind the dance idea.

Okay, who's captain?

A guy named dallas.

Mike dallas? Ugh!

(Bell rings)

Mr. Perino:
okay, time to make
some progress

On those visual
historic timelines.

Find your groups,
and let's get working.

Maybe you should find
another group.

Don't be ridiculous,
maya.

Well, tori doesn't wanna
be around you right now.

Tori?

Hey, did tori find out
you're broke

And kick you out of her
gossip girl g*ng?

She's expecting this
fairytale anniversary,

And I had to cancel
'cause I couldn't deliver.

Oh, zig,
when will you learn?

When you want something,
you take it.

If I want the latest phone,
I take it.

A set of new cans,
I take 'em.

Pudding in the caf-

I get it,
you're a klepto.

But I don't wanna go
to jail.

You only go to jail
if you get caught.

(Laughs)

You're whack, man.

Maybe.

But if you don't want
princess tori

To dump your poor hood ass,

Here's what you gotta do.

It's called
a dine and dash.

Tristan:
...all worldly possessions,

Everything, today.

(Sighs heavily)

Hey, you can jump right into
the balcony scene

Right after he's done.

Great.
I-i took your advice;

I youtubed derrick
from happy endings.

Derrick from happy endings?

(Snaps fingers)

Tristan:
ay, me, where did he go?

(Really flamboyantly)
hi! I'm over here!

Tristan:
um... Who's there?

I will not tell you
my name.

Okay, stop! Stop!

How was that?

Horrible!
It was horrible!

You cannot do that!
Right, tristan?

Uh, yes,
that was totally offensive!

I thought you believed
in this play.

I do!

Okay, I wasn't trying
to be offensive,

I was trying to be gay!

Tristan:
hey, that wasn't gay,
that was a stereotype.

Eli:
yeah, tristan's right.

Don't be gay.

Just be you,
a person in love.

With a dude?

Forget tristan,
forget jules!

Who do you love?

Alli, obviously.

There, yes!

Think about alli.

Just picture her

Whenever you're saying
this stuff.

(Bell rings)

I don't know
if I can do this.

Find a way.

Mo:
okay.

Hey, man,
how was your date?

Did she dump you
over that cheap bracelet?

Zig:
uh, maya, can we talk?

Please?

(Sighs heavily)

I need your help
with tori.

No. No way.
I'm not getting involved.

Maya, please,

She won't even
talk to me.

Because you're ping-ponging
with her emotions, zig!

It's not cool.

I know, I know.

So why'd you cancel
the anniversary?

She made it into such
a big deal,

And...

And I guess I was worried
I'd disappoint.

You're such a doofus.

Does that mean
you'll help?

What do you need me
to do?

(Both laugh)

♪ You are the sun ♪

♪ The moon in the night ♪

Tristan:
♪ you are my everything ♪

♪ Everything's so right ♪

Dave and tristan:
♪ it won't take another summer ♪

♪ Another spring,
another fall ♪

♪ Now I have you ♪

♪ Don't need anything at all ♪

♪♪

Eli:
okay, cut.

So?

You nailed it.

(Relieved sigh)

I just followed
your advice.

Think about the girl
I love - alli.

Eli:
boys, I think we have a hit
on our hands!

(Students chatter)

Oh! Mike dallas.

Fiona coyne.

I knew you couldn't
stay away.

I'm here on business,
on behalf of student council.

Hmm. Well, now I'm the one
not interested.

We'd like to throw
a dance.

Don't care.

Something low-key and fun
to boost school morale,

And we want the ice hounds
to be a part of it.

The last time student council
wanted my team

To be part of something,

We got humiliated!

Well, I wasn't here
for that.

Student council's
on my watch now,

And if you tell simpson
that your team backs this dance,

You won't regret it.

Okay.

But I want to be involved
in planning the dance.

You know,
keep an eye on things.

Okay, sure.
I can use the help.

I want something else.

A dance...

From you.

Lesbian.

Still not convinced.

(Half laughs)

Okay, fine,
one dance.

(Sighs)

Tori:
a girl's night out
at little miss steaks;

It's just what I need
to get over this zigaster.

I never want to see him again.

Do you think it's too late
to switch out of his classes?

Maya:
you don't really mean that,
do you?

Look.

What's he doing here?

Zig:
happy anniversary, tor.

My cue to go?

Not yet.

You said four month
anniversaries were stupid.

Zig:
they aren't.

I am.

Look, being with someone
that you really like is scary.

They get to know you,
and all your qualities -

Good and bad.

I guess I was scared that
if you really get to know me,

You wouldn't like me anymore.

Now you can go.

Why do I love you
so much?

You love me?

That's really cool.

Me too.

Welcome to little miss steaks,
niners.

What can I get you?

Tori:
um...

Are you okay, zig?

Yeah.

Get anything
and everything you want.

My treat.

(Laughs)

(Diners chatter)

I knew you were
the perfect romeo.

So you're not jealous about me
romancing tristan on stage?

Uh, not so much.

Anyways, I've gotta get back
to the lab,

But I'll call you tonight?

You bet.

Okay.

Muah!

(Door shuts)

Hi.
Dave turner, right?

I caught a wee bit
of your rehearsal.

You were something else.

Oh, thanks.

It's too bad we didn't get
to work on the musical together.

I heard you quit
because of...

Uh, creative differences?

Something like that.

I had no idea
when you auditioned

That you were gay.

Oh, i-i'm not,
i-i just play the part.

You're pretty convincing.

I, uh, I wanted
to give you this.

My dad's a minister,

If you ever need
to talk to someone.

Talk to someone
about what?

Well, soon you'll be performing
that musical every night,

In front of people,

Acting a certain way.

It might affect you.
(Laughs shyly)

♪♪

(Tori laughs)

Um, I have a confession.

Uh, actually,
forget it.

I can't tell you!

Oh no,
now you have to tell me,

Or else I'll have to get
my tickle on.

No! Okay, okay, okay!
No tickling!

Um... (Laughs)

I bought you the new ipad,

But when you cancelled
our date,

I returned it.

I deserved that.

But maybe I could get it for you
for our six month.

No, no, don't.

I don't need anything
except you.

Thank you.

Um, are you sure
you don't wanna split that?

Uh, no, I got it.

Um, why don't you
meet me outside?

Such a gentleman!

Marisol:
hey, kid!

Hey, kid,
you forgot something!

(Door slams)

All right, let's go!

Tori:
oh! Uh, high heels!
High heels!

Ow! Why are we running?

Zig:
I'm just so excited!

Our date was amazing!
I'm full of energy!

Okay...
Is everything okay?

Woo!

My heart's racing so fast.

Mine too.