13x21 - No Surprises

[bunniefuu]

(Water splashes)

Miles! Stop!

Jump in
or prepare to be splashed -

Your choice.

I can't,
I don't have a suit.

(Miles groans)

What are you doing?

I'm skinny dipping.
You should try it.

Okay, turn around,
and no peeking.

Seriously?

(Laughs)

Maya:
I can't believe
you talked me into this!

Me neither.

(Water splashes)

Maya:
okay.

♪ I saved a little bit
of money ♪

♪ I put it in a vault ♪

♪ Hidden behind the face
on the bedroom wall ♪

♪ I took everything I wanted
I took everything I need ♪

Mr. Hollingsworth:
next up, I think we should
discuss press strategy.

Andrea:
mm-hmm.

Is that your dad?!

You said nobody'd be home!

Okay, relax!

My dad and I are
in a good place.

He'll probably laugh.

Andrea:
it's important to show
the family

In a home environment.

Maya:
oh my god!

Hello.

Hi.

You remember maya,
my girlfriend.

Of course.

We were...
Just doing homework.

That's my dad's,
uh, campaign manager.

Um, andrea,
maybe... You know,

Maybe you can start the meeting
without me, okay?

Sure.

Miles:
hey, can maya stay
for dinner tonight?

I think it's best
if she takes a rain check.

Definitely.

(Maya sighs)

Bye.

Mr. Hollingsworth
listen.

The election is coming up,

So I don't think
this is a good time

To be getting in trouble
with girls.

Miles:
no, we didn't do
anything wrong.

Mr. Hollingsworth:
you embarrassed me
in front of my staff.

So, please, do not put me
through that again!

Now get out of the pool!

Can you...
Pass me my shorts?

(Sighs heavily)

(Coughs)

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ (The best that I can be) ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

Miles:
can you pass the butter?

Please?

Well, whatever.
Don't talk to me.

Mrs. Hollingsworth:
what do you expect?

Your father comes home,

Finds you in the pool
with some girl!

Miles:
well, she's not "some girl,"
mom, okay?

She's my girlfriend.

Were they naked?
I bet they were naked.

Miles:
frankie, zip it!

I just can't have you

Jeopardizing the campaign
like that.

You mean like last time?!

Miles:
this isn't like last time.

For one, her parents
aren't big donors.

You promised no problems.

Frankie:
we lived up to our promises.

Passed out buttons to everyone
at our lacrosse and recitals.

Mr. Hollingsworth:
that's right.

You know what?

You two are shining examples
for your older brother.

I gotta run.

Bye.

Bye.

Mom, I didn't mean
to get caught,

It was a mistake.

It usually is.

Miles:
but since paris,
I haven't messed up once.

I mean I even agreed
to that stupid media training!

I know that,
honey.

He doesn't.

No matter how hard I try,
he doesn't see it.

D

To do?

Try harder.

(Scoffs)

(Diners chatter,
dishes clink)

Alli:
ah, regional science fair,
here we come!

Okay, we have an hour
for setup,

Half an hour for testing...
Oh! And the judges better-

Dallas:
watch the students
from devingham prep?

No kidding!

Have they ever not cheated
at a science fair?

They play dirty,
so can we.

I'm listening.

Rocky:
daddy, can I have
another cookie, please?

Well, since you said please,

One more's not going
to k*ll you, right?

Alli:
hey, rocky,
wanna see something?

Rocky: yeah!
Alli: look.

Alli:
you put the ketchup
in the bottle...

And then you fill it up.

Then, when you squeeze,
look what happens!

It dives to the bottom,

And when you let go - oop! -
It swims up to the top!

Wow! That's cool!

Show me again, alli,
please?

Alli:
sure, kiddo.
Look, help me squeeze it!

I've decided -
bungee jumping!

Bungee jumping?

What better way to celebrate
six months cancer-free?

By barely defying death!

I cheated death once,
and it wouldn't do it

If I didn't think
it was totally safe.

I booked four spots.

Do you think connor'll
be up for it?

Connor?

Yeah, he'll probably tweet
about it on the way down.

Okay, I'm calling eli.

Clare: hey!
Eli: clare!

I've got a surprise for us.

Eli: a good one?
Clare: depends.

Do you consider
jumping off a bridge

With nothing
but a giant elastic band

Keeping you from pancaking
to the ground, good?

You had me at
"jumping off a bridge."

When?

Tomorrow, after school.

You're still coming home
tonight, right?

So um...

Okay, about that...

No!

Is it your short film?

Editing is just taking forever

And I have to have it in
before the weekend

Or they won't even
look at it.

Can't your friend lenore
finish it?

We've been working
around the clock.

I'm really sorry.

It's okay,
you finish your film.

Excellent!
Okay, love you!

Love you, too.
Bye.

Jenna:
did he chicken out?

Uh... He's busy.

So are we cancelling?

No! No, I'll find a time
that works for everyone.

Oh. Yay.

No one said long distance
relationships are easy.

Hey!

Does he think
I'm a bad influence?

Who, my dad?

Oh, no, no. I told you
not to worry about it.

Well, I'm worried!

Look, he blames me
for all his failures.

Okay, no matter what I do,
that's not going to change.

Maybe you need
to try harder?

That's what my mom said.

She's a smart woman.

Look, I've had my fair share
of parental drama.

Sometimes you have to go
the extra mile-s.

(Both laugh)

Look, if we can get your dad
to see the amazing guy

That I see every day,

Then he has to change
his mind about you.

Well, all he cares about
is his campaign.

So help with that!

And if that works out...

Maybe I can come
for another swim!

(Teasing sharp inhale
and exhale)

(Laughs)

Clare:
thank you, connor,

For that detailed update
on council's finances.

Next meeting: fundraiser ideas,
lots of them!

(Jenna giggles)

Dallas:
hey, jenna, got a second?

I need some intel
on alli.

She and leo broke up,
right?

Did they ever!

Are they gonna get
back together?

Nope!
Alli is on a romantic hiatus.

For how long?

Jenna:
until the memories of leo
are erased from her mind.

Maybe I could help
with that.

You are a better guy
than leo.

Like way better.

Thanks, bro.

No problem.

I just got off the phone
with the bungee jumping company.

If we cancel tomorrow,
we lose the deposit.

So there's still a spot?

Uh, what about alli?

Doctor wouldn't approve it.

I just invited drew.

No! N-no. No.

W-woop!
Gossip alert!

Shhh! Uh...

Drew and i...

We kissed on thanksgiving.

What?!
How could you?

I mean, eli was here,
in town!

We were on a break.

A short break.

Holy cow,
you move quick.

Clare:
I don't!

Look, it's a little weird,
okay?

Jenna:
yeah, it might be weirder
if you uninvite him.

He might think
you have feelings for him.

(Laughs uneasily)

Feelings!

Jenna:
yeah, like urges, lustings,
moonlight desires.

Okay, fine.
I did have... Urges,

But now I don't!
They're gone.

All right,
so I don't see why

Going bungee jumping
with the guy

Is such a problem.

(Laughs)

(Sighs heavily)

♪ Three stickers,
two buttons ♪

♪ One introduction letter- ♪

♪ And a partridge
in a pear tree! ♪

What? I'm just trying
to break the monotony!

Are you nuts?
I'm loving this!

Thanks for helping out,
guys.

I mean, when my dad sees
your plan in action,

He'll know maya matlin
is anything but trouble!

My plan?

Hey, what daddy-o doesn't know
won't hurt him, right?

It might even
get him elected!

Oh! Man, I wanna show
my dad all this.

Mm!

Andrea better watch out
or she'll be out of a job!

(Miles laughs)

Mr. Hollingsworth:
let's just take a break
for a while.

Andrea:
I feel like you really
need a break.

You've been working hard!

Mr. Hollingsworth:
now, speaking of which,
two rooms?

It seems like such a waste.

Andrea:
two rooms,
two mini bars.

Oh, right,
good thinking!

(Andrea laughs seductively)

Mr. Hollingsworth:
do you think we're getting
a bit too lazy?

Andrea:
no, I don't.

I think that we need
a vacation.

(Whispering softly)

(Students chatter)

Oh! Maya, come here!
I wanna show you something.

Oh! Miles!

Miles:
what do you think?

Maya:
wow, it's um...
It's beautiful!

Maybe someday, if you're nice.
This is for andrea.

Wait. Why are you giving
your dad's campaign manager

An expensive necklace?!

A-ha, I'm not.
My dad is.

If they're up to something,

It'll be written
all over her face.

But is it too much?

I was thinking of earrings
or something.

No, it's gorgeous.

Great!
That's all I needed to know.

But I'm not sure
it's a good idea.

Well, that's because
you're not much of a schemer.

Think about !

Okay.

What if nothing's going on?

If you were andrea,
what would you do?

Maya:
I don't know,
throw it in his face?

Tell your mom?
Quit?

Miles:
well, if she does
any of those things,

I guess I'm wrong.

Now my dad needs
to sign the card.

What should it say?

You could be making
a big mistake.

Yeah, maybe something
a bit more, uh, romantic.

(Bell rings)

Hi! So sorry about
this morning!

Ah, no problem,

I just got us
some more lab time.

A gift basket?

Dallas:
it's got lots
of nice-smelling stuff.

Uh, skin moistener,
uh, massage body oils.

And who is it for,
exactly?

Uh...

Me.

Why?

I figured you could use
some tlc.

Dallas!

And then after
you're all relaxed,

I thought maybe...

We could go on a date?

I-i-i can't.

(Sighs)

(Girl screams)

(Buckles clank)

Okay!
Now for my other victim!

Uh, uh, other victim?

Well, you booked
two tandem jumps.

So which one of you cowboys
is on this ride?

Reckon that would be me.

Bungee guy:
ah! Step on up!

Oh! And, uh, don't worry,

I usually
don't screw this up.

Oh! Uh...

Oh, uh-
oh, okay, that's tight.

(Whistles)
that's a long way down.

Huh?
Oh, right.

Um, the jump.

I hope eli's not pissed
I took his spot.

I've always wanted
to do this.

Me too.

Uh, try bungee jumping,
i-i mean.

Ah, what would eli say
to calm your nerves?

Probably something like...

No! Stop it! Stop it!
Stop! Stop! Stop!

Drew:
huh? Feel better?

It's go time!

Oh, now just wrap your arms
around each other,

Hold on real tight,
right tight,

Just like that,
okay?

Okay...

Bungee guy:
here we go.

(Clare and drew
laugh nervously)

Bungee guy:
all comfy?

Bungee guy: and three...
Drew: eli's missing out!

Bungee guy: two!
Clare: who?

One!

Drew and clare:
aaagggghhhhhhh!

(Splashes)

Wee-eee!

Drew
hey, you never said that we were
gonna get dunked in water!

Clare:
I didn't know,
I swear!

I can't believe
we did that!

I-i mean I'm still
a little light-headed!

Yeah, after all that screaming,
no doubt!

I think you might've burst
my eardrum.

Mm-hmm.
(Cell phone rings)

Whoa! No, wait, no.
I'm hearing ringing noises!

Clare: oh! Um, it's eli.
Drew: oh.

I'll call him later.

Drew:
mind if I get out
of these wet clothes

Before we head out?

No, of course not.

Sweet. Thanks.

You should um...

You should change out
of those wet clothes

Before you get sick.

Here.

Thanks.

Drew:
so how are things
with you two?

Clare:
eli? Um, they've been better.

I mean,
I know he's in new york,

But I didn't expect to feel
so far away.

If you um...

If you need anyone to talk to,
or just hang out,

I'm... I'm around.

(Laughs uncomfortably)

(Drew groans)

I don't have
another shirt.

(Both laugh)

Um... Maybe you wanna go
grab a bite?

Or, uh, drive-thru?

I should go home
and uh...

Take a cold sh-shower-
a regular shower.

(Laughs)

Well, hey, uh...
Can you drop me on the way?

No.

My mom just really needs
the car back.

Do you mind grabbing a ride
with jenna and connor?

Yeah, all right.

You enjoy that shower.

Mm-hmm.

(Sighs heavily)

(Car door slams)

Mr. Hollingsworth:
andrea, how much longer
'til we start?

Andrea:
oh, about two minutes.

Mr. Hollingsworth
great, okay.
Two minutes.

(Guests chatter)

♪♪

Mr. Hollingsworth:
okay, let's have a seat.
Miles?

I know, I know.

Miles, come on!
Get over here!

Sit down.

Andrea:
so during your dad's
mayoral campaign,

You guys will be doing
a lot of press.

This session is to help you
get ready.

Okay,
let's get started!

Andrea:
frankie, tell me something

That the public doesn't know
about your dad.

Frankie:
well, he gets really upset
when I b*at him at monopoly.

(Mrs. Hollingsworth laughs)

Mr. Hollingsworth: do I really?
Mrs. Hollingsworth: yeah!

How about you, miles?

(Fake laugh)

I...i mean, he's...
He's so great,

He's just... He's just...
He's just the best!

I mean i-i totally wanna be
just like him one day.

Well-

Andrea:
how about we try to make it
a little more natural?

Yeah.

Natural.

Natural.
Okay, gotcha.

Andrea:
um, why don't you tell me
how your dad has influenced you?

Miles:
oh, that's a...
That's a tough question,

But, um, honestly,

I think the most crucial thing
you've taught me

Is, uh, how to juggle...

Uh, tasks, priorities,
affairs.

Business affairs,
for the record.

So that's what
you're calling it?

Well then, whew!

"Business" must be
pretty good then, dad?

Mr. Hollingsworth:
yeah, it's never been better.

Listen, do we have a question
for hunter?

Andrea:
we do.

Miles:
yeah, you know what?

I think I'm done for today,
guys.

Miles.

Miles!

Miles:
oop! Sorry.

Mrs. Hollingsworth:
I'll go talk to him.
Excuse me.

Miles!

What kind of stunt were you
trying to pull in there?!

Mom, he pretends to be
a perfect man

And the perfect father.

It's all an act!

Your dad loves you!
He loves all of us!

Mom...

He's cheating on you
with andrea.

That's not your problem.

You... You know?

You know about this
and y-you...

You haven't left him?

Honey, I'm not gonna discuss
my marriage with you.

Mom, why are you
playing along

With this stupid charade?

Well, we will deal with it
after the election.

Right, right,
after the election.

'Cause the election
always comes first, right?

Okay.
(Angry breath)

Okay, why don't you
take a walk?

Okay?

Honey, I'll tell them
you weren't feeling well.

Honey?

(Sighs heavily)

(Rhythmic knocking)

Dallas, what are you
doing here?

I wanted to explain
the gift basket.

(Sighs)

I love being science partners
with you.

I think we make
a great team.

Me too.

I just thought that
you might wanna be...

More than just science
partners.

Dallas, please.

Look,
you are a great guy-

It's just you need time
to get over your ex.

Yeah, I have to get
over myself.

Leo hit me.

I forgave him,
but...

He did it again.

There's so much anger
in him...

So much hate.

What?!

I'm still recovering,

And not just from
the physical stuff.

Are you taking him
to court?

He's being sent back
to france...

And he'll never know
how much he hurt me.

I could crush him!

Yeah, but that wouldn't
change anything.

(Sighs)

He deserves a lot worse.

Miles:
I mean the worst part
was watching my mom

Pretend their marriage
wasn't a joke.

Maya:
are you okay?

Miles:
I just didn't think he'd throw
our whole family away like that.

I'm done with him.
My mom, too.

But none of this
family garbage matters

'Cause I have you.

I love-
I love you, maya.

I love you, too.

A lot.

♪♪

(Sighs)

♪ Where the night
shows its face ♪