INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, NIGHT
An OLDER WOMAN is leading a YOUNG WOMAN through the tunnels. The OLDER WOMAN'S clothes are cobbled together and the YOUNG WOMAN is wearing a worn Victorian gown. The tunnels are lit by a sickly green glow and are cluttered with flotsam and jetsam. They arrive in a large cavern where a MAN is waiting.
YOUNG WOMAN: Will it be me, Uncle?
UNCLE: Yes, it's going to be you. I only wish I could go in your place, Idris. Nah, I don't, cos it's really going to hurt.
An OOD with green eyes grips IDRIS' arm.
IDRIS: It's starting.
The OOD helps IDRIS up two steps to a small platform. Underneath the grate glows green.
IDRIS: What will happen?
OLDER WOMAN: Oh. Um, er, Nephew will drain your mind and your soul from your body and leave your body empty.
The OOD places a hand on either side of her head.
IDRIS: I'm scared!
Smoke begins to rise from the grate and IDRIS gasps for breath, falling to her knees.
OLDER WOMAN: I expect so, dear. But soon you'll have a new soul. There'll be a Time Lord coming!
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
The DOCTOR is regaling RORY with an adventure.
DOCTOR: Then we discovered it wasn't the robot king after all, it was the real one. Fortunately, I was able to re-attach the head.
RORY looks to AMY as she comes down the stairs.
RORY: Do you believe any of this stuff?
AMY: I was there.
DOCTOR: Oh, it's the warning lights. I'm getting rid of those, they never stop! (slaps the console)
RORY catches up with AMY as she heads down another set of stairs.
RORY: Hey. You're still thinking about it, aren't you?
AMY: (whispers)Shhh! We saw him die!
RORY: (whispers) Yeah, 200 years in the future.
AMY: (whispers) Yes, but it's still going to happen.
There's a knocking on the TARDIS door. The DOCTOR whirls around. AMY and RORY join him by the console.
AMY: What was that?
DOCTOR: The door. It knocked. (walks slowly towards the door)
RORY: Right. We are in deep space.
DOCTOR: Very, very deep.
The knocking sounds again.
DOCTOR: And somebody's knocking.
The DOCTOR slowly opens the door and smiles. A small box is floating there. It is lit from the inside.
DOCTOR: Oh, come here. Come here, you scrumptious little beauty!
The DOCTOR reaches out a hand but the box whizzes by and into the TARDIS. It then zooms back and hits him in the chest. He holds it between his hands.
RORY: A box?!
AMY: Doctor, what is it?
DOCTOR: I've got mail! (walks back to the console) Time Lord emergency messaging system. In an emergency, we'd wrap up thoughts in psychic containers and send them through time and space. Anyway, there's a Time Lord out there, and it's one of the good ones!
RORY: You said there were no other Time Lords left.
DOCTOR: There are no Time Lords left in the universe, but the universe isn't where we're going! (throws the box to AMY) See that snake? The mark of the Corsair. Fantastic bloke. He had that snake as a tattoo in every regeneration. Didn't feel like himself without the tattoo. Or herself, a couple of times. Ooh, she was a bad girl!
The TARDIS sparks and shakes. They hold onto the console.
RORY: What's happening?!
DOCTOR: We're leaving the universe!
AMY: How can you leave the universe?
DOCTOR: With enormous difficulty! Right now I'm burning up TARDIS rooms to give us some welly. Goodbye, swimming pool, goodbye scullery, sayonara, squash court seven!
SPACE
The TARDIS leaves the universe and heads for the source of the message: a small planet with a slightly green glow.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
The TARDIS stops with a jolt.
AMY: OK. OK. Where are we?
DOCTOR: Outside the universe, where we've never, ever been.
The power winds down and the lights dim.
RORY: Is that meant to be happening?
DOCTOR: It's the power. It's draining. (tries the controls) Everything's draining! But it can't. That's... That's impossible.
RORY: What is that?
DOCTOR: It's as if the matrix, the soul of the TARDIS, has just vanished. Where would it go?
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, NIGHT
IDRIS sits up with a gasp. She also makes the sound of the TARDIS materializing. Artron energy escapes from her open mouth. UNCLE and AUNTIE watch as IDRIS raises her hands to see the yellow glow.
Matt Smith
Karen Gillan
Arthur Darvil
DOCTOR WHO
"The Doctor's Wife"
by Neil Gaiman
Producer
Sanne Wholenberg
Director
Richard Clark
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
The DOCTOR opens the door of the TARDIS and steps out followed by AMY and RORY. The surface is cluttered with rusting spaceships of various sizes. They begin to look around.
AMY: So what kind of trouble's your friend in?
DOCTOR: He was in a bind, a bit of a pickle, sort of distressed.
AMY: Aw, you can't just say you don't know.
RORY: But what is this? The scrap yard at the end of the universe?
DOCTOR: Not end of, outside of.
RORY: How we can we be outside the universe? The universe is everything.
The DOCTOR puts an arm around RORY'S shoulders as he tries to explain.
DOCTOR: Imagine a great big soap bubble with one of those tiny little bubbles on the outside.
RORY: OK.
DOCTOR: Well, it's nothing like that. (puts a hand on the TARDIS) Completely drained, look at her.
AMY: So we're in a tiny bubble universe, sticking to the side of the bigger bubble universe?
DOCTOR: Yeah. No. But if it helps, yes. This place is full of rift energy. She'll probably refuel just by being here. Now this place, what do we think, eh? (throws dirt into the air) Gravity's almost earth-normal, air's breathable, but it smells like...
AMY: Armpits.
DOCTOR: Armpits.
RORY: Where did this stuff come from?
DOCTOR: There's a rift. Now and then, stuff gets sucked through it. Not a bubble, a plughole. The universe has a plughole and we've fallen down it.
IDRIS: Thief! Thief! You're my thief! (runs towards the DOCTOR)
UNCLE and AUNTIE walk behind.
AUNTIE: She's dangerous! Guard yourselves!
IDRIS: Look at you! Goodbye! No, not goodbye, what's the other one? (kisses the DOCTOR)
UNCLE: Watch out! Careful, keep back from her!
AUNTIE and UNCLE pull IDRIS away from the DOCTOR.
UNCLE: Welcome, strangers, lovely. Sorry about the mad person.
DOCTOR: Why am I a thief? What have I stolen?
IDRIS: Me. You're going to steal me. No, you have stolen me. You are stealing me. Tenses are difficult, aren't they?
AUNTIE: Oh, we are sorry, my dove. She's off her head. They call me Auntie. (shakes the DOCTOR'S hand)
UNCLE: I'm Uncle. I'm everybody's uncle. Just keep back from this one, she bites!
IDRIS: Do I? Excellent. (bites the DOCTOR'S neck)
DOCTOR: Ow! No, ow, ow!
They pull IDRIS away and the DOCTOR rubs his neck.
IDRIS: Oh, biting's excellent! It's like kissing, only there's a winner!
UNCLE: Sorry. She's doolally.
IDRIS: No, I'm not doolally. I'm... I'm...It's on the tip of my tongue. I've just had a new idea about kissing. Come here, you! (chases after the DOCTOR)
AUNTIE: Idris, no, no!
The DOCTOR stands behind RORY and AMY.
IDRIS: Oh, but now you're angry. No, you're not. You will be angry. The little boxes will make you angry.
DOCTOR: Sorry? The little what? Boxes?
IDRIS: (laughs) Your chin is hilarious! (pinches the DOCTOR'S chin then looks at RORY) It means the smell of dust after rain.
RORY: What does?
IDRIS: Petrichor.
RORY: But I didn't ask.
IDRIS: Not yet. But you will.
AUNTIE: No, Idris, I think you should have a rest.
IDRIS: Yes, yes, good idea! I'll just see if there's an off switch. (faints)
UNCLE: Is that it? She dead now. So sad.
RORY: She's still breathing.
UNCLE: Nephew, take Idris somewhere she can not bite people.
The DOCTOR turns and sees the Ood.
DOCTOR: Oh, hello!
AMY: Doctor, what is that?
DOCTOR: It's all right. It's an Ood! Oods are good, love an Ood. (walks over) Hello, Ood. Can't you talk? Oh, I see, it's damaged. May I? (opens the translator) It might be on the wrong frequency.
AUNTIE: Nephew was broken when he came here. Why, he was half dead. House repaired him. House repaired all of us.
The DOCTOR fixes NEPHEW'S translator and a message comes over it. There are garbled messages in the background.
MAN: If you are receiving this message, please help me. Send a signal to the High Council of the Time Lords on Gallifrey. Help! I'm still alive! I don't know where I am. I'm on some rock-like planet.
NEPHEW switches off the translator.
RORY: What was that? Was that him?
DOCTOR: No, no, it's picking up something else. But that's... That's not possible. That's... Who else is here? Tell me. Show me! Show me!
AUNTIE: Just what you see. It's just the four of us, and the House. Nephew, will you take Idris somewhere safe where she can't hurt nobody?
NEPHEW picks up IDRIS and takes her away.
DOCTOR: The House? What's the House?
AUNTIE: House is all around you, my sweets. You are standing on him.
UNCLE jumps up and down.
AUNTIE: This is the House. This world. Would you like to meet him?
RORY: Meet him?!
DOCTOR: I'd love to.
UNCLE: This way. Come, please. Come.
AUNTIE and UNCLE head back inside.
AMY: What's wrong? What were those voices?
DOCTOR: Time Lords. It's not just the Corsair. Somewhere close by there are lots and lots of... Time Lords.
The DOCTOR walks off after AUNTIE and UNCLE. AMY and RORY follow.
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, CELL, NIGHT
IDRIS is locked in a cell with NEPHEW standing guard.
IDRIS: I'm... I'm... Big word, sad word. Why is that word so sad? No! Will be sad. Will be sad.
INT. PLANET, CAVERN, NIGHT
AUNTIE and UNCLE lead the way to the cavern where IDRIS lost her soul.
UNCLE: Come. Come, come. You can see the House and he can look at you and he...
The DOCTOR looks through the grate.
DOCTOR: I see. This asteroid is sentient.
AUNTIE: We walk on his back, breathe his air. Eat his food...
AMY: Smell its armpits.
AUNTIE and UNCLE'S mouths move in unison, but the voice isn't theirs.
HOUSE: And do my will. You are most welcome, travellers.
AMY: Doctor... that voice, that's the asteroid talking?
DOCTOR: Yes. So you're like a... sea urchin. Hard outer surface. That's the planet we're walking on. Big, squashy, oogly thing inside. That's you.
HOUSE: That is correct, Time Lord.
DOCTOR: Ah! So you've met Time Lords before?
HOUSE: Many travellers have come through the rift, like Auntie and Uncle and Nephew. I repair them when they break.
DOCTOR: So there are Time Lords here then?
HOUSE: Not any more, but there have been many Tardises on my back in days gone by.
DOCTOR: Well, there won't be any more after us. Last Time Lord. Last TARDIS.
HOUSE: A pity. Your people were so kind. Be here in safety, Doctor. Rest, feed, if you will.
AUNTIE and UNCLE are freed from HOUSE'S control.
RORY: We're not actually going to stay here, are we?
DOCTOR: It seems like a friendly planet. Literally. Mind if we poke around a bit?
AUNTIE: You can look all you want. Go, look. House loves you.
AUNTIE cups AMY'S face with both hands. Her left is definitely not that of a woman. The DOCTOR doesn't say anything.
DOCTOR: Come on then, g*ng. We're just going to, erm... see the sights.
The three of them leave.
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, CELL, NIGHT
IDRIS is speaking gibberish.
IDRIS: Oh! What was that? Do fish have fingers? Like a nine year old trying to rebuild a motorbike. What am I saying? Why am I saying that? Thief! Where's my thief? (shouts) Thief! Thief!
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, NIGHT
The DOCTOR is walking ahead of AMY and RORY and hears IDRIS.
DOCTOR: Shh, shh.
RORY: So as soon as the TARDIS is refuelled, we go, yeah?
DOCTOR: No. There are Time Lords here. I heard them and they need me.
AMY: You told me about your people and you told me what you did.
DOCTOR: Yes, but if they're like the Corsair, they're good, I can save them!
AMY: Then tell them you destroyed the others?!
DOCTOR: I can explain. Tell them why I had to.
AMY: You want to be forgiven.
DOCTOR: Don't we all?
AMY: (nods) What do you need from me?
DOCTOR: My screwdriver. I left it in the TARDIS. It's in my jacket.
RORY: You're wearing your jacket.
DOCTOR: My other one.
RORY: You have two of those?
AMY: I'll get it, but, Doctor, listen to me. Don't get emotional because that's when you make mistakes.
DOCTOR: Yes, boss.
AMY: I'll call you from the TARDIS. (tosses her phone to the DOCTOR) Rory, look after him. (leaves)
DOCTOR: Rory, look after her.
RORY: Yeah. (Heads after AMY)
The DOCTOR continues on.
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
AMY strides towards the TARDIS, RORY following.
AMY: I told you to look after him.
RORY: He'll be fine. He's a Time Lord.
AMY: It's what they're called. It doesn't mean he actually knows what he's doing.
The two enter the TARDIS and a cloud of green energy begins to swirl around the base, working its way up.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
AMY dials from the TARDIS phone.
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, NIGHT
The mobile rings and the DOCTOR answers.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
AMY: We're here. Screwdriver's in your jacket, yeah?
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, NIGHT
DOCTOR: (takes screwdriver from his pocket) Yeah, it's around somewhere. Have a good look.
The DOCTOR activates the screwdriver, locking the doors of the TARDIS.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
AMY hangs up the phone.
AMY: Did you do that?
RORY: I didn't do anything. Right. Jacket.
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, NIGHT
DOCTOR: Come on! Where are you? Now where are you all? Where are you?
The DOCTOR closes his eyes, sensing the other Time Lords. He opens them and pushes back a curtain, revealing a small alcove.
DOCTOR: Well, they can't all be in here.
The DOCTOR hears murmuring voices and turns around. A cabinet is set into the wall. He opens the door to see it filled with the glowing boxes. The voices are louder. They are all cries for help. AUNTIE and UNCLE come up behind him.
DOCTOR: Just admiring your Time Lord distress signal collection. Nice job. Brilliant job. Really thought I had some friends here... but this is what the Ood translator picked up. Cries for help from the long dead. (faces them) How many Time Lords have you lured here, the way you lured me? And what happened to them all?
AUNTIE: House, House is kind and he is wise.
DOCTOR: (angry) House repairs you when you break. Yes, I know. But how does he mend you? (scans UNCLE) You have the eyes of a 20 year old.
UNCLE: Thank you.
DOCTOR: I mean it literally. Your eyes are 30 years younger than you are. (rips off UNCLE'S hat) Your ears don't match, your right arm is two inches longer than your left, and how's your dancing, ‘cause you've got two left feet. Patchwork people. You've been repaired and patched up so often, I doubt there's anything left of what used to be you. (puts sonic away and slaps AUNTIE'S hand) I had an umbrella like you once.
AUNTIE: Oh, now, it's been a great arm for me, this.
DOCTOR: (sees the tattoo) Corsair.
AUNTIE: He was a strapping big bloke, wasn't he, Uncle? Big fella. I got the arm and then Uncle got the spine and the kidneys.
DOCTOR: Kidneys. You gave me hope, and then you took it away. That's enough to make anyone dangerous. God knows what it will do to me! Basically... run!
AUNTIE runs off as UNCLE backs away.
UNCLE: Poor old Time Lord. Too late. House is too clever. (leaves)
The phone rings and DOCTOR answers it.
CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH –
- CUT TO:
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
AMY: What? We're not good enough for your smart new friend?
DOCTOR: "The boxes will make you angry." How could she know?
AMY: Doctor, what are you talking about?
DOCTOR: Stay put. Stay exactly where you are.
AMY: We don't have much... choice.
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, CELL, NIGHT
The DOCTOR finds IDRIS.
DOCTOR: How did you know about the boxes? You said they'd make me angry. How did you know?
IDRIS: Ah, it's my thief.
DOCTOR: Who are you?
IDRIS: It's about time.
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
The green energy cloud is now up by the windows.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
AMY: He's not trusting us. And he's being emotional. This is bad, this is very, very bad.
RORY: (sees the green outside) Yeah... I think it probably is.
AMY: (turns) Sometimes I hate being right.
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, CELL, NIGHT
DOCTOR: Who are you?
IDRIS: Do you not know me? Just because they put me in here?
DOCTOR: They said you were dangerous.
IDRIS: Not the cage, stupid. In here. (puts a hand on either side of her face) They put me in here. I'm the... Oh, what do you call me? We travel. I go...(she makes the sound of the TARDIS)
DOCTOR: The TARDIS?
IDRIS: Time and relative dimension in space. Yes, that's it. Names are funny. It's me! I'm the TARDIS.
DOCTOR: No. You're not! You're a bitey, mad lady. The TARDIS is up and downy stuff in a big blue box.
IDRIS: Yes, that's me. A type 40 TARDIS. I was already a museum piece, when you were young, and the first time you touched my console you said...
DOCTOR: I said you were the most beautiful thing I had ever known.
IDRIS: And then you stole me. And I stole you.
DOCTOR: I borrowed you.
IDRIS: Borrowing implies the eventual intention to return the thing that was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back?
DOCTOR: You're the TARDIS?
IDRIS: Yes.
DOCTOR: My TARDIS?
IDRIS: My Doctor. Oh! We have now reached the point in the conversation where you open the lock.
The DOCTOR uses the sonic on the lock and IDRIS steps out. She studies the DOCTOR'S face.
IDRIS: Are all people like this?
DOCTOR: Like what?
IDRIS: So much bigger on the inside? I'm... Oh, what is that word? It's so big, so complicated. It's so sad.
DOCTOR: But why? Why pull the living soul from a TARDIS and pop it in a tiny human head? What does it want you for?
IDRIS: It doesn't want me. (sniffs him)
DOCTOR: How do you know? (sniffs jacket)
IDRIS: House eats TARDISes.
DOCTOR: House what? What do you mean?
IDRIS: I don't know. It's something I heard you say.
DOCTOR: When?
IDRIS: In the future.
DOCTOR: House eats Tardises?
IDRIS: There you go. (puts a finger on the DOCTOR'S lips) What are fish fingers?
DOCTOR: (muffled) When do I say that?
IDRIS: Any second.
DOCTOR: Of course! House feeds on rift energy and TARDISes are bursting with it. And not raw. All lovely and cooked, processed food… Mmm, fish fingers.
IDRIS: Do fish have fingers?
DOCTOR: But you can't eat a TARDIS, it would destroy you. Unless, unless...
IDRIS: Unless you deleted the TARDIS matrix first.
DOCTOR: (chuckles) So it deleted you.
IDRIS: But House just can't delete a TARDIS' consciousness, that would blow a hole in the universe. He pulls out the matrix, sticks it in a living receptacle and feeds off the remaining Artron energy. You were about to say all that. I don't suppose you have to now.
DOCTOR: (pulls out the phone) I sent Amy and Rory in there. They'll be eaten. Amy! Amy! Rory, get the hell out of there! (runs through the tunnels)
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
AMY tries the controls as RORY watches the door.
AMY: Doctor, something's wrong.
INT. PLANET, TUNNELS, NIGHT
DOCTOR: It's House. He's after the TARDIS. Just get out, both of you!
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
RORY tries the doors but they won't budge.
AMY: We can't. You locked the door, remember?
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
DOCTOR: But I've unlocked it.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
AMY: You stupid well haven't!
The Cloister Bell begins to ring, the console room goes dark and a strong wind picks up.
AMY: Doctor, I don't like this.
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
The DOCTOR runs towards the TARDIS, using his sonic to try and unlock the doors. He stops in from of the doors and snaps his fingers.
DOCTOR: Open!
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
AMY: Doctor?
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
DOCTOR: (shouts) Open this door!
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
AMY: Rory, hold my hand.
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
DOCTOR: Amy. Rory!
The DOCTOR pounds on the doors but steps back as the TARDIS dematerializes. He calls AMY.
DOCTOR: Amy? Amy, can you hear me? (shuts off phone) OK. Right. I don't... I really don't know what to do. (smiles) That's a new feeling.
The DOCTOR slaps himself on the cheek and then runs back inside.
SPACE
The TARDIS heads back to the universe.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
RORY: Listen, whatever happens at least we're together. And we're in the TARDIS, so we're safe.
HOUSE: You're half right. I mean, you are in the TARDIS. What a great adventure. I should have done this half a million years ago. So, Amy, Rory, why shouldn't I just k*ll you now?
INT. PLANET, CAVERN, NIGHT
The DOCTOR finds IDRIS sitting down. AUNTIE and UNCLE are there as well.
DOCTOR: It's gone!
IDRIS: Eaten?
DOCTOR: No, it left. Not eaten, hi-jacked. But why?
AUNTIE: It's time for us both to go, and keep together.
DOCTOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Go? What do you mean go? Where are you going?
AUNTIE: Well, we're dying, my love. It's time for Auntie and Uncle to pop off.
UNCLE: I'm against it.
AUNTIE: It's your fault, isn't it, sweets? Cos you told House it was the last TARDIS. House can't feed on them if there's none more coming, can he?
UNCLE: So now he's off to your universe to find more Tardises.
DOCTOR: It won't.
AUNTIE: Oh, it will think of something.
AUNTIE falls over with a groan and the DOCTOR rushes to check for a pulse.
UNCLE: Actually, I feel fine. (stands and falls to the ground)
DOCTOR: Not dead. You can't just die!
IDRIS: We need to go to where I landed, Doctor. Quickly.
DOCTOR: Why?!
IDRIS: Because we are there in three minutes. We need to go now! (runs then stops in pain) Ow! Roughly, how long do these bodies last?
DOCTOR: (scans her) You're dying.
IDRIS: Yes, of course I'm dying. (takes the sonic) I don't belong in a flesh body. I could blow the casing in no time. No, stop it, don't get emotional. That's what the orangey girl says. You're the Doctor. Focus. (holds the sonic out for him)
DOCTOR: On what? How? I'm a madman with a box, without a box! (takes sonic) I'm stuck down the plughole at the end of the universe on a stupid old junkyard! Oh.
IDRIS: Oh, what?
DOCTOR: No, I'm not.
IDRIS: Not what?
DOCTOR: Cos it's not a junkyard. Don't you see? It's not a junkyard.
IDRIS: What is it then?
DOCTOR: It's a TARDIS junkyard! (heads for exit) Come on. (stops) Ooh, sorry, do you have a name?
IDRIS: 700 years, finally he asks.
DOCTOR: But what do I call you?
IDRIS: I think you call me... Sexy.
DOCTOR: (whispers) Only when we're alone!
IDRIS: We are alone.
DOCTOR: Come on then, Sexy.
The DOCTOR takes IDRIS by the hand and they run out.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
HOUSE: Corridors. I have corridors. So much to learn about my new home. But you haven't answered my question, children.
RORY: Er, question?
HOUSE: You remember. Tell me why I shouldn't just k*ll you both now?
AMY: Well... because... Rory, why?
RORY: Because... k*lling us quickly wouldn't be any fun. And you need fun, don't you? That's what Uncle and Auntie were for, wasn't it? Someone to make suffer. I had a PE teacher just like you. You need to be entertained... and k*lling us quickly wouldn't be entertainment.
HOUSE: So entertain me. Run.
AMY and RORY run up a set of steps deeper into the TARDIS.
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
The DOCTOR runs across the surface of the planet, scanning with the sonic screwdriver. IDRIS follows. They climb atop a mound and look down on a collection of varied ships.
DOCTOR: A valley of half-eaten Tardises. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
IDRIS: I'm thinking that all of my sisters are dead. That they were devoured, and that we are looking at their corpses.
DOCTOR: Ah. Sorry. No, I wasn't thinking that.
IDRIS: No. You were thinking you could build a working TARDIS console out of broken remnants of a hundred different models. And you don't care that it's impossible.
DOCTOR: It's not impossible as long as we are alive. Rory and Amy need me. So, yeah, we're gonna build a TARDIS. (heads into the valley)
INT. TARDIS, CORRIDORS
AMY and RORY run down the corridor.
HOUSE: So, are we having fun yet? I'm rather enjoying the sensation of having you running around inside me.
AMY stops with a cry and she almost falls into a pit.
HOUSE: I have turned off the corridor anti-ground, so do be careful.
AMY: Come on.
They make their way around the thin ledge. AMY reaches the other side first and pulls RORY to safety as he slips. They continue running.
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
The DOCTOR and IDRIS have put together a shell of a room with a small console in the middle. IDRIS pops up and taps a small piece of equipment with her finger.
IDRIS: Bond the tube directly into the Tachyon Diverter.
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, I have actually rebuilt a TARDIS before, you know. I know what I'm doing. (the DOCTOR is dragging a piece of wall by a rope)
IDRIS: You're like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom. And you never read the instructions.
DOCTOR: I always read the instructions!
IDRIS: There's a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for 700 years. What does it say?
DOCTOR: That's not instructions!
IDRIS: There's an instruction at the bottom. What does it say?
DOCTOR: Pull to open.
IDRIS: Yes, and what do you do?
DOCTOR: I push!
IDRIS: Every single time. 700 years. Police Box doors open out the way.
DOCTOR: (throws down the rope and walks over to her) I think I've earned the right to open my front doors any way I want!
IDRIS: Your front doors?! Have you any idea how childish that sounds?
DOCTOR: (turns away and mutters) You are not my mother!
IDRIS: And you are not my child!
DOCTOR: (turns around and walks back) You know, since we're talking with mouths, not really an opportunity that comes along very often, I just want to say, you know, you (points in her face) have never been very reliable.
IDRIS: And you have?
DOCTOR: You didn't always take me where I wanted to go. (walks away)
IDRIS: No, but I always took you where you needed to go.
DOCTOR: (stops) You did! (whirls around, happy) Look at us. Talking. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could always talk? Even when you're inside the box?
IDRIS: You know I'm not constructed that way. I exist across all space and time, and you talk and run around and bring home strays.
IDRIS falls but the DOCTOR catches her.
DOCTOR: You OK?
IDRIS: One of the kidneys has already failed. It doesn't matter. We need to finish assembling the console.
DOCTOR: Using a console without a proper shell. It's not going to be safe.
IDRIS: This body has about 18 minutes left to live. The universe we're in will reach Absolute Zero in three hours. Safe is relative.
The DOCTOR heads back to the piece he was dragging and picks up the rope.
DOCTOR: Then we need to get a move on, eh, old girl?
INT. TARDIS, CORRIDORS
AMY and RORY run down the corridor, AMY is ahead. She runs through a door and it slides closed after her, RORY still on the opposite side.
RORY: NO! Amy!
AMY stops and runs back to the door.
AMY: No!
RORY: Amy! (tries to pry open the door)
On her side, AMY hears a tired voice calling her name. She runs down the corridor and sees RORY sitting on the floor by the closed door.
AMY: Rory?
RORY: (gets up) Where have you been?
AMY: I stepped through that door and it came down here.
RORY: But you've been hours!
AMY: No, I haven't. It's House, and it's messing with the TARDIS. Come on, back this way.
They run and HOUSE plays the same trick, closing the door in front of RORY.
RORY: No!
AMY: No! Oh! (turns around)
EXT. PLANET SURFACE, NIGHT
The TARDIS now has three walls up and the DOCTOR is carrying a central column over his shoulder to the console.
IDRIS: You'll need to install the time router.
DOCTOR: How is this going to make it through the rift? (slips the column into place) We're almost there. (checks everything) Thrust diffuser. Er, Retro scope. Blue... thingy.
IDRIS: (sifting through junk) Do you wonder why I chose you all those years ago?
DOCTOR: I chose you. You were unlocked.
IDRIS: Of course I was. I wanted to see the universe, so I stole a Time Lord and I ran away. And you were the only one mad enough.
DOCTOR: (joins her and looks back at the console) Right. Perfect. Look at that. What could possibly go wrong? (a small piece falls off) That's fine, that always happens. No! Hang on! Wait! (grabs red velvet rope)
INT. TARDIS, CORRIDORS
AMY walks forward through the slowly darkening corridor.
RORY: Amy?
Curled up close to the wall in a corner is an older RORY with long grey hair and a straggly beard.
AMY: Oh, my God. Rory? (kneels beside him)
RORY: You left me. How could you do that? How could you leave me?
AMY: How long have you been here?
RORY: 2,000 years I waited for you. (bangs his head on the wall) You did it to me again!
AMY: I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry.
RORY lunges at her and AMY falls back with a cry. She crab-walks backwards away from him.
AMY: Rory, what are you doing?
RORY: They come for me at night. Every single night, they come for me and they hurt me. Amy, they hurt me over and over and over and over...
AMY: Rory...
RORY: How could you leave me? How could you do that to me?
They both stand as RORY speaks and AMY backs away through a door and it closes again.
INT. MAKESHIFT TARDIS, NIGHT
The DOCTOR hands IDRIS one of the ropes and they latch them onto the console.
DOCTOR: Right. OK, let's go. Follow that TARDIS!
The console doesn't move. IDRIS sees her reflection in a mirror and plays with her face.
DOCTOR: It can't hold the charge. I can't even start it. There's no power! (puts a hand over the mirror) I've got nothing!
IDRIS: Oh, my beautiful idiot. You have what you've always had - you've got me.
IDRIS kisses her finger, imbuing it with energy, and then places it against the central column. The energy circles them with a field and they dematerialize.
INT. TARDIS, CORRIDORS
AMY walks through another corridor. Scrawled on the walls in a violent hand are the phrases "Hate Amy", "k*ll Amy" and "Die Amy". She turns a corner and sees a skeleton lying there in RORY'S clothes.
AMY: (screams) No! No! (falls to her knees and crawls to the body, sobbing) Rory... I'm so, so sorry!
RORY walks up the corridor behind her.
RORY: Amy?
AMY turns around at the sound of his voice but when she looks back, the body and writing have disappeared. She runs to RORY and hugs him.
RORY: It's messing with our heads. Come on, run.
They run.
SPACE
The makeshift TARDIS follows the path of "the" TARDIS to the universe.
INT. MAKESHIFT TARDIS
It is open on top and one side so we can see the energy field around them. The ride is a little rough. The DOCTOR is enjoying the experience. They have to shout to be heard.
DOCTOR: Whoo-hoo!
IDRIS: We've locked on to them! They'll have to lower the shields when I'm close enough to phase inside.
DOCTOR: Can you get a message to Amy? The telepathic circuits are online.
IDRIS: Which one's Amy? The pretty one?
INT. TARDIS, SHAFT
RORY and AMY are climbing up a ladder when RORY puts a hand to his head in pain.
RORY: Argh! (sees IDRIS)
AMY: Rory, what's wrong??
RORY: It's like... I'm getting a message.
IDRIS: (telepathic vision)
Hello, Pretty!
RORY: What the hell is that?
The DOCTOR butts into the vision.
DOCTOR: (telepathic vision)
Don't worry. Telepathic messaging. No, that's Rory.
IDRIS: (telepathic vision)
You have to go to the old control room. I'm putting the route in your head. When you get there use the purple slider on the nearest panel to lower the shields.
DOCTOR: (telepathic vision)
The pretty one!
IDRIS: (telepathic vision)
You'll have about 12 seconds before the room goes into phase with the invading Matrix. I'll send you the passkey when you get there. Good luck!
RORY opens his eyes.
AMY: What was that?
RORY: It was that woman. That mad woman and the Doctor.
AMY: The Doctor?!
RORY: We have to keep going.
They continue climbing.
INT. MAKESHIFT TARDIS
DOCTOR: How's he going to be able to take down the shields anyway? The House is in the control room.
IDRIS: I directed him to one of the old control rooms.
DOCTOR: There aren't any old control rooms. They were all deleted or remodelled.
IDRIS: I archive them. For neatness. I've got about 30 now.
DOCTOR: But I've only changed the desktop, what, a dozen times?
IDRIS: So far, yes.
DOCTOR: You can't archive something that hasn't happened yet!
IDRIS: YOU can't.
INT. TARDIS, CORRIDORS
They walk through the corridors and AMY stops short, the hall dark all around her.
AMY: What happened to the lights?
For RORY, the halls are lit.
RORY: The lights are fine. It's messing with our heads again.
AMY walks forward slowly, arms out to keep her from walking into anything. RORY hears something.
RORY: OK. Stay there a second.
AMY: What is it? What?
RORY: Just hang on. (turns the corner)
AMY: Don't leave me. I can hardly see, you idiot!
RORY: Argh!
AMY: Rory? Rory?
RORY: Its OK, I'm fine. Come towards my voice.
AMY: (slowly walks forward) What happened? Where are you?
RORY: I just banged my head. Just keep coming.
AMY keeps walking and we see RORY'S unconscious body on the floor.
RORY: Reach out your hand.
We see the glow of NEWPHEW'S translator ball and then AMY'S hand touches his tentacles. His eyes glow green and AMY screams. As she does so, she can see again and RORY is there.
RORY: This way. Come on, run!
They run and NEPHEW follows.
INT. MAKESHIFT TARDIS
DOCTOR: Keep going! You're doing it, you sexy thing!
IDRIS: See, you DO call me that. Is it my name?
DOCTOR: You bet it's your name! Whoo!
INT. TARDIS, CORRIDORS
RORY is still guiding AMY.
AMY: I can see now, Rory. I can see.
RORY: It was the Ood thing, the Nephew and it's still coming.
AMY: I know.
They stop at a locked door.
AMY: So where is this place?
RORY: This is where she told me to go. She said she'd send me the pass key!
RORY grabs his head as IDRIS sends another message. He repeats the words for AMY.
IDRIS: (telepathic vision)
Crimson. Eleven. Delight. Petrichor.
AMY: Petrichor.
RORY: What do I do? Do I say it? Crimson. Eleven. Delight. Petrichor.
Nothing happens.
RORY: I said it.
AMY: Petrichor. Petrichor...
RORY: I said it! (pounds on door)
AMY: Petrichor. She told you what it meant – the smell of wet dust, remember? So... Oh... it's the meaning, not the word.
RORY: The meaning of what?
AMY: The TARDIS interface is telepathic. You don't say it, you think it.
NEPHEW appears at the junction.
RORY: It's coming.
AMY: (faces the door) Quiet! (closes eyes) Crimson. Eleven. Delight. The smell of dust after rain.
NEWPHEW slowly advances. AMY pictures each item in her head as she says the words.
AMY: Crimson, (red flag in the wind) eleven, (11th birthday cake) delight, (laughing at her wedding) the smell of dust after rain. (a raindrop falling in dirt)
AMY repeats the words and thoughts as NEPHEW gets closer. The doors slide open and the rush inside.
INT. TARDIS, PREVIOUS CONTROL ROOM
AMY and RORY run up the ramp in the darkened room.
AMY: What is this place? Another control room?
RORY: Shields.
They begin to look for the right controls.
RORY: Got it.
INT. MAKESHIFT TARDIS
IDRIS: They did it. Shields down!
SPACE
The makeshift TARDIS closes in on the other.
INT. TARDIS, PREVIOUS CONTROL ROOM
AMY and RORY run up the ramp in the darkened room.
HOUSE: How did you find this place? It's not on my internal schematics. I had hoped you two could join Nephew as my servants. But you two are nothing but trouble. (the door opens and NEPHEW enters) Nephew... k*ll them.
AMY and RORY are backing away when RORY gets another telepathic message.
IDRIS: (telepathic vision)
We're coming through. Get out of the way or you'll be atomised.
RORY: Where are you coming through?
IDRIS: (telepathic vision)
I don't know.
RORY: Oh, great. Thanks!
INT. MAKESHIFT TARDIS
IDRIS: It's not going to hold!
INT. TARDIS, PREVIOUS CONTROL ROOM
NEPHEW advances.
RORY: Hold on!
RORY holds onto the rail while AMY grabs onto the nearest buttress. The other console materializes by the ramp.
AMY: (smiles) Doctor!
The DOCTOR gets up and hugs her. IDRIS stands slowly.
IDRIS: Not good. Not good at all. (the DOCTOR helps her sit) How do you walk around in these things?
DOCTOR: We're not quite there yet... just hold on. Amy, this is... Well, she's my TARDIS. Except she's a woman. She's a woman, and she's my TARDIS.
AMY: She's the TARDIS?!
DOCTOR: And she's a woman. She's a woman and she's the TARDIS.
AMY: Did you wish really hard?
DOCTOR: Shut up! Not like that.
IDRIS: Hello. I'm... Sexy.
RORY: Oh!
DOCTOR: Still shut up.
HOUSE: The Environment has been breached. Nephew, k*ll them all.
They look around for the Ood.
RORY: Where's Nephew?
AMY: He was standing right where you materialised.
DOCTOR: Ah. Well, he must have been redistributed.
RORY: Meaning what?
DOCTOR: You're breathing him.
AMY: Eugh!
DOCTOR: Another Ood I failed to save.
HOUSE: Doctor, I did not expect you.
DOCTOR: Well, that's me all over, isn't it? Lovely old unexpected me.
HOUSE: The big question is, now you're here, how to dispose of you? I could play with gravity...
They all fall down, fighting the pull until HOUSE releases it. IDRIS collapses on her own and RORY goes to her side.
HOUSE: or I could evacuate the air from this room and watch you choke.
They gasp for breath.
DOCTOR: You really don't want to do that!
HOUSE: (returns air) Why shouldn't I just k*ll you now?
DOCTOR: Because then I won't be able to help you! Listen to your engines. Just listen to them. You don't have the thrust and you know it. I'm your only hope for getting out of your little bubble, through the rift, and into my universe. And mine's the one with the food in! You just have to promise not to k*ll us. That's all, just promise.
IDRIS whispers to RORY.
AMY: You can't be serious.
DOCTOR: I'm very serious. I'm sure it's an entity of its word.
RORY: Doctor, she's burning up. She's asking for water.
DOCTOR: (kneels and takes IDRIS' hand and strokes her face) Hey. Hang in there, old girl. Not long now. It'll be over soon.
IDRIS: I always liked it when you call me... old girl.
HOUSE: You want me to give my word? Easy. I promise.
DOCTOR: Fine. OK. I trust you. Just delete, ooh, 30% of the TARDIS rooms, you'll free up thrust enough to make it through. Activate sub-routine Sigma-9.
HOUSE: Why would you tell me this?
DOCTOR: (stands) Because we want to get back to our universe as badly as you do. And I'm nice.
HOUSE: Ye-e-s. I can delete rooms, and I can also rid myself of vermin if I delete this room first. Thank you, Doctor, very helpful. Goodbye, Time Lord. Goodbye, little humans. Goodbye, Idris.
There is a flash of bright light.
SPACE
The TARDIS returns to the universe.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
The four of them materialize in the console room.
DOCTOR: Yes. I mean you could do that, but it just won't work. Hardwired fail-safe. Living things from rooms that are deleted are automatically deposited in the main control room. But thanks for the lift!
HOUSE: We are in your Universe now, Doctor. Why should it matter to me in which room you die? I can k*ll you just as easily here as anywhere. Fear me. I've k*lled hundreds of Time Lords.
DOCTOR: Fear ME. I've k*lled all of them.
RORY: (to IDRIS) I don't understand. There isn't a forest in here.
DOCTOR: Yeah, you're right. You've completely won. Oh, you can k*ll us in oodles of really inventive ways, but before you do k*ll us allow me and friends Amy and Rory to congratulate you on being an absolutely worthy opponent.
The DOCTOR starts to clap before grabbing AMY by the arm and forcing her to stand. They applaud together.
AMY: Congratulations!
DOCTOR: Yep, you've defeated us, me and my lovely friends here at last but definitely not least the TARDIS Matrix herself, a living consciousness you ripped out of this very control room and locked up into a human body and look at her!
RORY: Doctor, she's stopped breathing.
HOUSE: Enough! That is enough.
AMY goes over to RORY and IDRIS.
DOCTOR: No. It's never enough. You forced the TARDIS into a body so she'd burn out safely a very long way away from this control room. A flesh body can't hold the TARDIS Matrix and live. Look at her body, House.
HOUSE: And you think I should mourn her?
DOCTOR: No. I think you should be very, very careful about what you let back into this control room.
Energy flows from IDRIS as she opens her mouth.
DOCTOR: You took her from her home. But now she's back in the box again and she's free!
The energy streams throughout the room, changing the green light to golden.
HOUSE: No! Doctor, stop this! OW! Stop this now!
DOCTOR: Oh, look at my girl, look at her go! Bigger on the inside! You see, House?
HOUSE: Make it stop!
DOCTOR: That's your problem. Size of a planet, but inside you're just so small!
HOUSE: Make it stop!
DOCTOR: Finish him off, girl.
HOUSE groans and yells and the TARDIS takes back her home. When it is silent, AMY and RORY notice IDRIS' body is gone.
IDRIS: Doctor? Are you there?
The DOCTOR turns from the console to see a glowing projection of IDRIS.
IDRIS: It's so very dark in here.
DOCTOR: (softly) I'm here.
IDRIS: I've been looking for a word. A big, complicated word, but so sad. I've found it now.
DOCTOR: (whispers) What word?
IDRIS: Alive. I'm alive!
DOCTOR: Alive isn't sad.
AMY and RORY watch, RORY holding her close.
IDRIS: It's sad when it's over. I'll always be here. But this is when we talked and now even that has come to an end. There's something I didn't get to say to you.
DOCTOR: Goodbye?
IDRIS: No, I just wanted to say... hello. Hello, Doctor. It's so very, very nice to meet you.
DOCTOR: (tearful) Please! I don't want you to. Please!
The DOCTOR steps back as the projection dissipates with a bright light and the familiar TARDIS sound.
IDRIS: (faintly) I love you.
DOCTOR: Where? (faces the console)
LATER…
The DOCTOR is sitting in the swing sit under the console working on wires. AMY and RORY watch from above.
RORY: How's it going under there?
DOCTOR: Just putting a firewall around the Matrix. Almost done.
RORY walks down the steps.
AMY: Are you going to make her talk again?
DOCTOR: Can't.
RORY: Why not?
AMY: Spacey-wacey, isn't it?
DOCTOR: Well actually, it's because the Time Lords discovered that if you take an eleventh-dimensional matrix and fold it into a mechanical then...
RORY touches two wires together and they spark.
DOCTOR: (frustrated) Yes, it's spacey-wacey!
RORY: Sorry. At the end, she was talking. She kept repeating something. I don't know what it meant.
DOCTOR: (stands) What did she say?
RORY: The only water in the forest is the river. She said we'd need to know that someday. It doesn't make sense, does it?
DOCTOR: Not yet. You OK?
RORY: No. I watched her die. I shouldn't let it get to me, but it still does. I'm a nurse.
AMY joins then and sits on the bottom, holding onto the rail.
DOCTOR: Letting it get to you - you know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now, that's all that counts. (sits in the swing) Nearly finished. Two more minutes, then we're off. The Eye of Orion's restful, if you like restful. I can never really get the hang of restful. What do you think, dear? Where shall we take the kids this time?
AMY: Look at you pair. It's always you and her, isn't it? Long after the rest of us have gone. A boy and his box, off to see the universe.
DOCTOR: Well, you say that as if it's a bad thing. But honestly, it's the best thing there is. The House deleted all the bedrooms. I should make you two a new bedroom. You'd like that, wouldn't you?
RORY leans over and whispers to AMY.
AMY: OK. Doctor, this time, could we lose the bunk beds?
DOCTOR: Nah, bunk beds are cool. A bed with a ladder! You can't b*at that. (they look at him) It's YOUR room. Up those stairs, keep walking till you find it. Off you pop!
They start up the stairs but RORY stops.
RORY: Doctor, do YOU have a room?
AMY grabs RORY'S arm and pulls him up the stairs. The DOCTOR wipes off a few spots and connects two wires causing another bright spark.
SPACE
The TARDIS spins gently.
INT. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM
The DOCTOR throws down his cloth and uses the sonic on one spot of the console. He makes to use some controls but stops.
DOCTOR: Are you there? Can you hear me? I'm a silly old... OK. The Eye of Orion, or wherever we need to go.
Next to him, the lever moves on its own, starting dematerialization.
DOCTOR: (laughs) Hello!
Giddily, he spins around the console.
DOCTOR: (laughs) Whoo-hoo!
06x04 - The Doctors Wife
Moderator: Kitty Midnight
Time and Space traveling adventures of a Gallifreyan Time Lord only known as "the Doctor" and his companions.
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Classic Who Specials
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Classic Who Specials