- Are you ready, kids?
All: aye, aye, captain!
- I can'’t hear you.
All: aye, aye, captain!
- ♪ Ohh...
♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪
All: spongebob squarepants!
- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
all: spongebob squarepants!
- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
all: spongebob squarepants!
- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
all: spongebob squarepants! - Ready?
All: spongebob squarepants!
Spongebob squarepants!
Spongebob squarepants!
- Spongebob
squarepants!
[Laughing]
♪
[Waves crashing]
[lilting ukulele music]
♪
- [Slurps]
maybe I'’ll... Practice my clarinet.
Ah-he-he-hem.
[Playing jazzy tune]
♪
- Kind of sounds like squidward'’s practicing
his clarinet over there, doesn'’t it, gary?
Gary?
Well, I can'’t just stand by and let him practice alone.
Then what kind of a friend and neighbor would I be?
Not that kind that i... [Metal twangs]
would want.
[Porthole creaks]
[strumming harmoniously]
hi, neighbor!
♪
- Grrr!
[Playing faster]
♪
[Blaring high note]
[growls and jabbers]
- should we take it from the top?
- The day I willingly practice
my musical art with you
is the day I grow hair on my--
[clapping]
- [chuckles] like, bravo, man! Bravo!
- And who might you be?
- ♪ I'’m glad you asked ♪
♪ I'’ll make it perfectly clear ♪
♪ I'’m the guy you made smile from ear to ear ♪
♪ '’cause a sweet sound'’s coming from this here direction ♪
♪ the entire ocean should hear ♪
♪ now what I am proposing to you ♪
♪ is something I feel it is my duty to do ♪
♪ I'’m not just an admirer and passer-by ♪
♪ I wanna be a concert-promoting manager guy ♪
- ♪ are you serious? Is this a dream? ♪
- ♪ Colonel carper'’s the name ♪
♪ I think we'’d make a great team ♪
♪ you and your musical compadre up there ♪
♪ are the next big thing, I do solemnly swear ♪
♪ so... What are we waiting for? ♪
♪ It'’s high tide time ♪
♪ we go on tour
♪ together we'’ll set sail ♪
♪ on a magical musical journey ♪
[crowd cheers]
♪ where you'’ll play for at least a trillion ♪
♪ and that guy on that gurney ♪
[bell dings]
[fans scream] - ♪ screaming fans
♪ will insistently clap their hands for more ♪
♪ as you fly through the air ♪
♪ doing your fourth encore ♪
♪ and remember to bring your rake ♪
♪ '’cause neptune only knows ♪
♪ the money we'’ll make ♪ [cha-ching]
[bang]
- ♪ did someone say money?
♪ I could swear that'’s what I heard ♪
♪ I'’ve got super sensitive hearing ♪
♪ when it comes to that word ♪
- ♪ yes, he said money
♪ but more importantly he said ♪
♪ fa-a-a-ans
♪ and not the type that blows air ♪
♪ when you'’re feeling too hot ♪
♪ the type that wants your autograph ♪
♪ on everything they'’ve got ♪
- signature, mr. Tentacles?
- ♪ And I heard the word "team" ♪
♪ which is special to me
♪ '’cause through the power of music ♪
♪ there'’s no way we won'’t get ♪
♪ to bond together
♪ in this special duet
both: ♪ so...
♪ What are we waiting for?
♪ It'’s high tide time ♪
♪ we went on tour
- uh, excuse me.
Is there any way I could do this tour
as a soloist?
- Hmm, let me think about that for a second.
None...
[Falsetto] ♪ whatsoever
♪ the tour must consist-- and I do persist ♪
♪ of the tall one with halitosis ♪
♪ and the square one with the talented wrist ♪
- ♪ a dream wrapped in pain
♪ I don'’t know whether to smile or pout ♪
- ♪ excuse me, colonel
♪ I'’ll be taking over from here on out ♪
- ♪ but it was I who discovered ♪
♪ this soon-to-be-famous pair ♪
♪ and I'’m the one who knows ♪
♪ what it takes to get them there ♪
♪ you'’ll need a tour bus, venues ♪
♪ gotta build a buzz
♪ you need equipment and roadies too ♪
♪ I'’m the expert of all things ♪
♪ concert-promotionally speaking ♪
♪ you have no inkling
♪ you have no clue
[whirring]
- ♪ thanks for all the great tips ♪
♪ I think you should be on your way ♪
♪ good-bye
♪ good luck have a nice day ♪
♪ so...
♪ What are we waiting for?
♪ It'’s high tide time ♪
♪ we went on tour!
Up and at '’em, boys.
We got a tour to put on.
- [Grunting]
whew! Changing the oil in the school busmobile
sure is a pain in the-- [engine rumbles]
what the--
stop!
Thief!
[Tires screech]
- morning, squidward.
[Grunts]
tour bus, sound equipment-- check.
All I need now is a...
"Roadie".
Now, where in neptune'’s net am I ever gonna find a--
[clatter]
- somebody left this thing
laying around the parking lot.
- Roadie--check.
[Heavy metal music playing]
here we are, boys-- our first gig.
All those people are lined up
to see you.
- Sounds like a load of hooey.
- All right, roadie. Start unloading the hooey.
- Uh, mr. Krabs, where do I put this?
- Anywhere'’s fine. - Then what about this?
- Hey, look, it'’s ned and the needlefish!
[Crowd cheering and shouting]
- hi, guys!
- Well, well, well.
If it isn'’t that guy who stole my band.
I hope you aren'’t here to steal this band too,
because this time around, I'’ll be ready for ya.
- Well, that'’s very interesting, colonel carper.
But right now, my band and I are on a world tour,
and tonight, we'’re opening for ned and the needlefish.
- [Laughing]
- [chuckles] yeah, wha--
uh, what'’s so funny?
- You are!
And the fact that you think you have any idea
what it takes to put on a musical tour.
- We have a tour bus, sound equipment,
a roadie--
- you call that a tour bus?
You call this sound equipment?
That'’s not a roadie. These are roadies.
- [Screams]
- I'’ll tell you what.
I'’ll let you open for ned and the needlefish
on one condition:
my roadies get to sabotage your sound equipment
and have it blow up during your sound check.
- Wait a minute. What'’s that gonna cost me?
- Oh, that'’ll be free.
- Deal.
Okay, mr. Squidward. Take it from the top.
[Jazzy clarinet music]
[boom]
doggone it.
- [Cackling]
now you don'’t have any sound equipment,
unlike me, who has this entire wall of speakers
you see right behind me.
[Cackles]
now your whole tour is ruined!
[Laughing]
seriously, I can'’t-- I can'’t take it.
It'’s too much.
[Giggling]
- it sure was nice of that colonel carper guy
to let us borrow his entire wall of sound equipment,
wasn'’t it, mr. Krabs?
- Well, here we are-- our next gig.
- We'’re performing at a supermarket?
Driver, turn this bus around.
The tour is cancelled.
Head straight back to the krusty krab.
- Sorry, squidward, but that is physically impossible.
- What?
- Because it'’s not there anymore.
- The krusty krab'’s not there anymore?
Where'’d it go?
- I pawned it to raise the cash
for the concert tour.
- You did <span>what?!</Span>
- yeah, hard to believe, I know.
Me heart aches when I think of me old girl,
cold and lonely,
just sitting in the front window of that dirty pawn shop,
at the mercy of any random joe
who just happens by.
- [Whistling happily]
[gasps]
hoppin'’ hamburger stands!
I gotta go home and get my wallet.
- It'’s not even my restaurant,
and somehow I regret that decision.
- Hey, now, quit your worrying back there.
With the success we'’re about to have,
we'’ll be able to buy ten krusty krabs.
- A-one, and a-two,
and a-one, two, three, four.
[Cheerful tune]
[cash register ringing]
♪
[Nuts rattling]
♪
[Cans clanking]
[carts clattering]
♪
[Chips scraping rhythmically]
[chips crunching rhythmically]
[corn popping]
[bread making accordion sounds]
[pretzel whistling]
[song ends, pretzel whistling continues]
- thank you. Thank you very much.
Oh, come on! Nothing?
- What a happy celebration.
- I most certainly agree.
- Why, thank you,
mr. Supermarket manager.
- Here you go.
- What'’s this? Our paycheck?
- No, it'’s a bill. - What?
- You'’re kidding me, right?
We'’re performing at a retirement home?
- Oh, don'’t worry, squidward.
These geezers really know how to party.
- Oh, yeah, they'’ve got one foot in the rave.
Ha. Ha, ha.
Reaper jokes.
[Wheels squeaking]
two, three, four, an--
[squeaking continues]
two, three, four.
[Cheerful tune]
- too loud!
You'’re playing too loud!
- Sorry, sir.
- [Quietly] okay, two, three, four.
[Soft cheerful tune]
- too loud! Still too loud!
[Very soft]
still too loud!
Too loud!
It'’s too loud!
Too loud!
- Supermarket openings, retirement homes...
What'’s next, a child'’s birthday party?
[Light carousel music]
♪
[Kids shouting and laughing]
this is our worst gig yet.
Children'’s parties!
Well, if this is the way this tour is being organized,
then I would like t--
[poink] yeeooooow!
I am not a donkey fish!
- Mr. Krabs, how much farther is it
to the next town?
- Uh, not too much farther, squidward.
Oh, in fact, we'’re just entering it now.
[Tires screech]
- well, if this concert is anywhere near as terrible
as the other ones,
then it'’s going to be my last.
What the--
electronics outhouse?
Good-bye.
- This ain'’t our next concert.
- Well, then, where is it?
- It'’s, uh, uh, um...
[Crowd chattering]
well, it'’s right over there, obviously.
[Tires screech]
I'’ll just leave the three of you right here
to get set up.
I got some important tour manager business
to attend to, you know.
- Hold it.
This better not be one of your tricks, mr. Krabs.
[Tires screech]
- [whistling cheerfully]
[heavy metal music playing]
- hey, look, man.
"Ned and the needlefish, next turn."
- Whoa. It'’s like a sign from...
A sign, man.
Wow.
We have really moved down in the world.
[Cheers and applause]
[ukulele string tuning]
- isn'’t this the most exciting experience
of your entire life, squidward?
- Yeah, I never thought I'’d get to perform
for so many fans.
- Oh? Are there people showing up?
- Isn'’t that what you were talking about?
- [Crowd chanting] ned and the needlefish!
Ned and the needlefish! Ned and the needlefish!
- Ah, just soak that in, squiddy, old boy.
It'’s pretty invigorating, isn'’t it?
Wait a minute.
Why are they chanting, "ned and the needlefish"?
- No, can'’t you hear them, squidward?
They'’re saying, "squid-ward and sponge-bob,
squid-ward and sponge-bob!"
- [Crowd chanting] ned and the needlefish!
- Squid-ward and sponge-bob.
[Crowd stops chanting] squid-ward and--
[reverb]
- that doesn'’t look like ned and the needlefish.
[All booing]
- wait, I know what you came here for.
[Cheerful tune]
♪
Well?
- Chase '’em off stage!
[Crowd roars] - uh-oh.
[Crowd growling and shouting]
[heavy metal music] - ♪ ohhh
- '’scuse me, could one of you
show me how to use this multi-meter?
- Uh, he probably can.
- Thanks.
- Mr. Krabs!
- Do I know you?
- Colonel carper!
- Were we in the navy together?
- No, we were not.
- Whew. That'’s good, '’cause for a second there,
I thought that maybe--
- your shenanigans, sir,
are at an end!
Oh, yes!
And you will be receiving a friendly little phone call
from my attorney,
because I am suing you for every last dime.
- Wait a minute!
Where do you think you'’re going
with your own equipment?
- Hey, thanks again, fellas.
Huh. Nice guys like them
don'’t come around much these days.
They even redecorated the tour busmobile for us.
- Mr. Krabs!
- How'’d the show go, boy?
- Oh, the crowd went wild, sir.
- In fact, they'’re still going wild.
[Crowd growling and shouting]
- quick, on the bus!
[Footsteps thunder]
- well, that wasn'’t a complete waste of time.
Oh, no, wait. It was.
- [Sniffling]
now I'’ll never get me old krusty krab
out of hock.
[Sobbing]
- mr. Krabs!
[Tires screeching]
[all screaming]
[crash]
- good news, boys.
We only sustained a flat tire.
Patrick, go get the spare, lad.
- Uh...oh.
Yeah, I can'’t.
- What do you mean, you can'’t?
- Well, uh-- - no, no, wait.
Let me guess.
You ate the spare tire.
- Wow. You'’re good at guessing.
- Patrick, why didn'’t you just ask me?
You know I always bring some tiny snack-size tires
for in between meals.
You know, I'’m kind of hungry now, actually.
Mm. Squidward?
[Gulp] they'’re fat-free.
- Mr. Krabs, I'’d like some money for cab fare.
- But, mr. Squidward-- - but nothing.
I'’m going home.
Now put some cash in my hand so i--
- [wailing]
but I don'’t have any money left!
Not even a nickel!
It'’s all gone!
The krusty krab is gone!
- Forget it.
I'’ll just walk.
- [Sobbing] - wait, squidward.
Squidward!
You can'’t go. Please.
Don'’t you see?
The krusty krab needs us more than ever.
- I could care less what the krusty krab needs.
Now get out of my way.
Ow. Ow.
Owwww!
Ow.
- Squidward, are you okay?
- Get your hands off me.
Agh! Oof! Daaaah!
- Squidward-- - don'’t.
[Sad tune]
- ♪ squidward
♪ you must look inward
♪ and then I'’m sure that you will see ♪
♪ what an awesome band we still could be ♪
♪ please, oh, please
♪ don'’t quit on us now ♪
♪ I cannot allow this to be our last bow ♪
♪ now now now, no no no ♪
♪ nay nay nay, na na na ♪
♪ ne-ne-never give up
♪ don'’t ever give up ♪
♪ we can'’t let mr. Krabs go bankrupt ♪
♪ we must keep busy
♪ never giving u-uuup
- ♪ how did I not see this plan ♪
♪ was a failure from the start? ♪
♪ Being around spongebob
♪ is bad for my heart
♪ and that'’s not even the worst part ♪
♪ supermarkets, retirement homes ♪
♪ birthday parties for kids
♪ my career in music really feels ♪
♪ like it has hit the skids ♪
♪ I give up
♪ there is no point
♪ I give up
♪ mr. Krabs will have to go bankrupt ♪
♪ while I'’m busy ♪
♪ bitterly giving up
- ♪ don'’t you see? ♪
♪ Mr. Krabs needs us terribly ♪
♪ we'’ve got it in us to be a huge success ♪
♪ you and I can'’t settle for less ♪
♪ I
♪ promised myself not to shed this tear ♪
- ♪ it'’s getting really cold out here ♪
♪ and I'’m miles from home ♪
♪ it would appear
♪ and my feet are hurting
♪ oh dear, I fear
♪ this tentacleitis is pretty severe ♪
- ♪ wah wah wah wah wah
- ♪ I should probably give up ♪
♪ on this giving up today
♪ this is the part where I turn around and play ♪
- ♪ this is the part where I stand up and play ♪
both: ♪ take a deep breath
♪ in an emotional way
[taking deep breaths]
♪ '’cause with my instrument ♪
♪ is how I say
[inspiring tune]
♪
[Fireworks explode]
- wow, that was actually kind of good.
[Crowd cheering]
- amazing!
- Fantastic!
- Unbelievable!
They'’ve actually gathered a crowd.
To think all these people came out
to the middle of the desert
to see squidward and spongebob.
- Or they came to see the meteor shower
that passes through the aurora borealis,
generating a stunning, once-in-a-lifetime light show.
All: ooh.
Ahh.
- Thank you. Come again, please.
[Cha-ching]
[chuckles]
- look, here comes mr. Krabs.
Squidward and I just performed for a crowd
of adoring fans.
- That'’s nice.
I just made more money than I know what to do with.
[Laughs]
- well, it looks like they could help you
figure it out.
- Who?
"'’Get paid back from mr. Krabs'’ line starts here."
[Sniffles]
[gulp]
- well, well, well.
It looks like this is the end of the line for you,
both literally and figuratively.
[Laughs]
- what do I owe you money for?
- Well, let'’s see.
How about damaged sound equipment,
lost revenue, and just because?
- I don'’t owe you a nickel.
- No, you owe me a million nickels.
Roadies, it'’s collectin'’ time!
- Collecting ti--?
- [Laughing maniacally]
yeah!
[Laughs]
okay, boys, our work here is done.
- [Sobbing]
well, krusty krab, I guess...[Sniffles]
this is good-bye.
[Groaning] oh, why?
Why?
- Don'’t cry, mr. Krabs.
Here, you can have the money
from gary'’s college fund if it'’ll...
Help.
- [Groaning]
[crash]
well, spongebob,
you ready to get back to doing what we do best?
- I'’m ready!
- That'’s me boy.
- Hello, sir.
I'’d like to purchase the krusty krab restaurant
you have in your w-w--
where is it?
- Oh, sorry, sir.
I just sold it a minute ago.
But we do have this slightly used taco stand for sale.
08x26 - Hello Bikini Bottom!
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.