09x02 - My Bald Dad, My Light-Haired Dad, and My Dad's Glasses
Posted: 09/24/22 06:26
Kag: Let me introduce you, 'kay?
Kag: This is my boyfriend, Dai-chan from Planet Titan.
Shin: Huh?
Shin: Wait, what?!
Shin: Kagura-chan, what do you mean, Titan?!
Gin: Hey, what's the meaning of this? This isn't what you said!
UB: Kagura-chan, who was the boy that gave you the letter, then?
Kag: Oh, he was just a friend who handed over the letter in Dai-chan's place.
Kag: Dai-chan's too big to write a letter,
Kag: and it seems he was too shy to hand it over himself.
Shin: Uh... Wait, you actually had such a huge friend?
Kag: Yep. Soyo-chan introduced us.
Shin: The princess?
Kag: Believe it or not, Dai-chan's the prince of Planet Titan.
Kag: But being so big, he had no one to play with and nowhere he could play, so he was bored.
Kag: So I played with him, 'kay?
Kag: And then he got attached to me.
G: Monsters!
Gin: I don't know if I'd call this "attached"...
Bo: It looks more like he brought an army to conquer Earth!
Gintama,OP Card: Gintama
Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc
Title: My Bald Dad, My Light-Haired Dad, and My Dad's Glasses
Warning: Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room andat a safe distance from your TV!
Kag: Awesome, right? I totally got the jump on the bingo balls of life.
Gin: You may have hit bingo with royalty...
Gin: But his balls are way too big! Riding those would be harder than riding a Gundam!
Kag: Anyway, don't be so nervous, 'kay? Take a seat, Dai-chan.
Gin: Huh? Wait, what now?
Gin: Is this the boy? Is this really the boyfriend?
Gin: What's a "boyfriend," again? How is it spelled?
UB: Calm down. He's just a big boyfriend.
UB: A father whose daughter's boyfriend thinks he's a pushover is done for.
UB: Oh, I see. So you're Kagura's boyfriend.
UB: Thanks for being there for her.
UB: I'm her father.
Gin: That's the space-famous Umibozu for you.
Gin: With no fear of the massive boyfriend, he showed off how dignified a father can be.
Gin: F-F...
Gin: Father!
Shin: Umibozu-san!
Shin: He's been turned to mincemeat! Only one of his b*lls remains!
Gin: That's not one of his b*lls! It's just his cue ball!
Dai: Ah, my bad.
Dai: Damn, I overdid it.
Dai: I ain't been on Earth long,
Dai: so I don't really get how to do greetings or, like, the bowing thing.
Dai: And, like, I can't stand that kinda formal crap, anyway.
Dai: You can ignore the prince thing, so why don't we keep things frank and casual, Pops?
Dai: Since you're Kagura's old man, I already consider you a bro.
Dai: Oh, could you tell me your email address?
UB: I see. Then I'll tell you...
UB: the email address to Hell!
Gin: Why me?!
UB: C-Calm down! Grow up!
UB: You promised to be a grown-up today!
Gin: You calm down!
UB: He comes across as incredibly audacious, but I'm imagining things, right?
UB: It just seems like he's looking down on us because he's so huge, right?
UB: Kids these days are all like that, right? Right?!
Gin: We'll never get anywhere if you get pissed by whatever a kid says.
Gin: Let me handle this.
Gin: Y-Yeah, Earth's societal norms are too complicated, huh?
Gin: We just wanted to meet Kagura's friend, is all.
Gin: Anyway, make yourself at home. Want some tea?
Dai: Nah, I'm good. I'm chewing gum.
Gin: Really? We have snacks, too.
Dai: Seriously, I'm good. Earth food doesn't suit my taste.
Gin: Oh, really?
Gin: Could he be any more blunt? Is he messing with me?
Gin: What do you usually eat?
Gin: Your size must complicate things.
Dai: Hip hop.
Gin: What do you mean, you eat hip hop?
Dai: The only things on Earth that suit my tastes are hip hop and reggae.
Dai: They're music of the soul, check it out.
Kag: Apparently, everyone on his planet is a b-boy.
Gin: Uh, you guys are just big boys!
Dai: Everything else is old-fashioned and lame.
Gin: Look who's talking! You're all dressed like cavemen!
Dai: Honestly, I was shocked I had to come meet my girlfriend's folks.
Gin: Huh? Why?
Dai: What matters is how the couple feels in their hearts.
Dai: Parents sticking their nose into it is totally lame, I say.
Dai: Earth is pretty behind the times, huh?
Gin: Really? I can't tell. Are we?
Gin: Anyway, isn't it normal to be worried about the kind of friends your daughter has?
Gin: Right, Kagura?
Dai: Y'know, I've been meaning to point this out.
Dai: I'm not her friend.
Dai: I'm her boyfriend.
Gin: Oh, sorry. Boyfriend, huh?
Gin: I hate to say it, but that word doesn't exist on Earth.
Gin: Right, Kagura?
Dai: Hey, can I be straight with you? Who are you to Kagura?
Dai: I don't want some rando calling her "Kagura" like they're close.
Dai: She's my gal.
Kag: Dai-chan, I mentioned this before.
Kag: Gin-chan's my Earth dad.
Kag: Wait, brother?
Kag: Oh, I know. He's like crab lice, 'kay?
Gin: Why did I regress to being crab lice?!
Dai: Y'know, you're going out with me. Why are you still living with your ex?
Dai: I won't stand for half-assing things like that.
Dai: Keep messing with my gal, and I'll make a mess of Earth.
Dai: FYI, we could wipe out yourEarth if we wanted to.
Dai: If I say the word, my bros all over the galaxy will gather here.
Gin: Bring it!
Gin: att*ck on anytime you want, titans!
Gin: I'll force a retreat back into space!
Gin: For your hairline, that is!
UB: Why my hairline?!
Gin: Calm down! You're a grown-up!
Gin: Now we're even!
UB: Grown-ups don't obsess over getting even!
Gin: I'm imagining things, right?
Gin: Some brain-dead boy is saying he'll wipe out Earth,
Gin: but only your hair roots will be wiped out, right?
Gin: Right? Right?!
UB: Just calm down, you two.
UB: Dai-kun, it's not what you think. These two aren't like that.
UB: Kagura's only working a live-in job here.
UB: Honestly, I'm against it too, but she doesn't listen to me.
Dai: For real? Who would want to work here?
Shin: Calm down!
Dai: But you can rest assured, Pops.
Dai: I'm gonna finish my work here and go back home soon.
Dai: I plan on taking Kagura with me.
Kag: Hey, what are you talking about?
Dai: Oh, keep your mouth shut.
Dai: I don't intend to half-ass things with Kagura.
Dai: I'm gonna marry her.
Shin: Hey! What are you two doing?!
UB: I'm imagining things, right?
UB: I think I heard the word "marry" just now, but I'm just imagining things, right?
Gin: Yeah, that's right. It's totally just your imagination.
Kag: Who said you could talk like that?
Kag: Marry me? That's news to me.
Dai: Oh, keep your mouth shut!
Dai: We're discussing something important here.
Gin: Uh, I'm not sure I follow. Aren't you skipping a few too many steps?
Gin: That stuff comes after dating and things going well.
Gin: And you haven't even started dating yet.
Dai: We don't need to do all that crap.
Dai: We're soulmates. Our hearts are totally resonating.
Gin: Oh, really?
UB: Now, now. Puppy love makes your mind go blank and blinds you.
UB: Most people start finding tons of faults
UB: and come to hate each other eventually.
Dai: Nah, that ain't happening with us.
Dai: I ain't got any faults.
Dai: And even if Kagura does, I've got the heart to accept them all.
UB: Oh, really?
Gin: Nah, you won't be saying that for long.
Gin: You'll learn how big a glutton she is once you live with her.
Gin: She'll destroy your food budget.
Gin: Plus she's crude and can't cook anything but egg-on-rice.
Gin: She's sure to be a useless housewife who doesn't do any housework.
UB: Yeah, yeah.
UB: Plus she's a 'kay addict who needs a trip to 'Kay A.
UB: And your kids will % inherit the bald gene.
UB: What do you even see in her?
UB: If I were you, I'd never pick her up if she was lying on the street.
UB: I'd take her to the lost and found!
Kag: Oh, really?!
Kag: This is perfect, then.
Kag: You can marry me off and get rid of me.
Kag: Fine by me, 'kay? I don't like half-assing things, either.
Kag: Guess we can date with an eye toward marriage.
UB: Wait!
Gin: That's not it!
Dai: Well, there you have it. You'll give us your blessings, right?
Shin: Now, now.
Shin: Calm down, all of you.
Shin: Putting aside the taking Kagura-chan along thing for now...
Shin: We'll just take it as a sign that you're serious about this relationship.
Shin: That's okay, right?
Bo: Hell no!
UB: You're just a rotten virgin with zero experience! Stay out of this!
UB: They're not getting engaged at such a young age!
Gin: Quit mouthing off about your naïve ideals!
Gin: Love is just a illusion!
Gin: True love only begins once that illusion wears off, you stupid brats!
Shin: Tell them, not me!
Bo: We're being grown-ups here because you told us to grow up!
Shin: Then say what you're supposed to as grown-ups!
Gin: What the hell, man? What's a grown-up, anyway?
Gin: I don't know anymore!
Shin: Meanwhile, those two went off on their date!
Bo: Ack!
Kag: Man, dating is a pain.
Kag: Can't we just stay friends?
Kag: We're only gonna be sparring like usual anyway, right?
Dai: Nah, it was only during the day so far,
Dai: but now we'll be able to spar at night, too.
Dai: More than anything, I don't wanna let anyone else have you.
Kag: I don't see why I have to be monopolized by either you or those morons.
Dai: Are you stupid? You know that ain't it.
Dai: If you love someone, you wanna make them yours alone.
Dai: Ain't it only natural to feel that way?
Kag: Well, I wouldn't really care if someone else took you.
Dai: Y-You just haven't realized that you're in love yet because you're such a child!
Kag: Then what? Those morons are saying they don't wanna give me away.
Kag: Are they in love with me, too?
Dai: That's a different kinda love. Like, familial.
Dai: But we gotta distance ourselves from that and find our own love someday.
Kag: I see. But in a way, they love me too, huh?
Dai: Hey, what are you smirking for?
Kag: No reason.
Kag: It's been a long day. I'm exhausted.
Kag: Let's save the date for another day, 'kay?
Dai: What? Why?!
Dai: I said I'm going back home soon, didn't I?
Kag: We can just have a long-distance relationship.
Dai: Hey, wait up!
Dai: Are you okay with being separated from me?
Dai: I could cheat on you back home! You okay with that?!
Kag: That's pretty much it, Dai-chan.
Kag: You can find love scattered anywhere.
Kag: But those scatterbrains...
Kag: ...I can only find here.
Kag: See you.
Kag: Write to me, 'kay?
Dai: I ain't letting you go, Kagura.
Dai: I ain't gonna accept a long-distance relationship.
Dai: I finally found robust genes that are worthy of being inherited by titans.
Dai: I can't let the people on this planet keep them all to themselves.
Soyo: What?!
Soyo: Kagura-chan and Prince Dai?!
Soyo: I didn't know those two had that kind of relationship.
Soyo: He took Kagura-chan from me. I feel a little b*rned.
Bo: Things really will burn.
UB: If you don't tell us where they hang out right now...
Gin: ...we'll burn down your castle.
Shin: Hey! The princess has nothing to do with this!
Shin: She didn't do anything wrong!
Gin: But you're the one who introduced him to Kagura, right?
Gin: Where did you guys hang out?
Gin: Which love hotel district? Which storeroom behind a gym?
Gin: Which orgy venue?
Soyo: We'd never hang out at such places!
Soyo: I-It was usually the river bank or the park...
Soyo: Hey!
Soyo: They might be gone already!
Shin: There they go.
Shin: What do you mean, they might be gone?
Soyo: Despite what the titans look like,
Soyo: they're a peaceful and quiet race as long as they can listen to hip hop.
Soyo: There's just one thing.
Soyo: Titan royalty have looked for their brides on other planets for generations.
Soyo: But what they do after they find her is crazy.
Soyo: They look to monopolize her genes.
Soyo: To prevent the spread of their perfect spouse's genes outside their own race,
Soyo: they eradicate all life on the bride's home planet,
Soyo: leaving no traces, not even a strand of DNA.
Massive_UFO_in_E,Sign: Massive UFOin Edo Skies
Hana: Are you all seeing this?
Hana: Titans suddenly appeared in Edo,
Hana: with a huge ship that nearly covers the entire sky above the city.
Hana: Just who are they?
Shin: Dai-kun will destroy Earth?
Shin: No way! Did we treat him badly?
Shin: Did we act too much like an annoying mother-in-law?!
Soyo: That's not really the issue.
Shin: Forget coming to take our girl,
Shin: he came to take our Earth?!
Shin: Forget the bingo balls of life,
Shin: he came to crush the ball that gives us life?!
Soyo: We must stop the titans at once.
Soyo: I'll let Brother know and have the Bakufu Army move out right away.
Shin: You've got it wrong.
Shin: They aren't the ones we need to stop.
Shin: The titans aren't the ones we need to be truly afraid of.
Hana: Oh, look at that!
Hana: An army of titans dressed in formal attire is descending on us!
Dai: Earthlings.
Dai: As Planet Titan's representative, allow me to express our gratitude.
Dai: You have our heartfelt gratitude for giving us the perfect bride.
Dai: Rejoice.
Dai: With this ceremony,
Dai: Earthling DNA will gain eternal prosperity along with us titans.
Dai: Please give your blessings to our marriage ceremony.
Hana: I-Is this a wedding?
Hana: The titans have destroyed the city and built a big marriage venue!
Hana: Wait, is that...
Hana: An Earthling girl?!
Hana: The titans have taken a lone girl c*ptive!
P: Do you promise to be true to her in good times and bad,
P: in sickness and in health, and to love and honor her all the days of your life?
Dai: I do.
Hana: Is this a ceremony to take that girl as his wife?
P: Bride. Do you promise to be true to him in good times and bad,
P: in sickness and in health, and to love and honor him all the days of your life?
Dai: She said she does.
P: You may now seal your vows with a kiss.
Hana: That innocent girl's purity is about to be taken by those massive lips!
Dai: Kagura...
Dai: Now your strong genes belong to me!
Dai: You should just look at me, and me alone.
Shin: Hold it right there!
Dai: Wait, father!
Dai: We can't! I don't swing that way!
Dai: Father? Father!
Shin: Dai-kun.
Shin: I'm sorry, but I can't let you have Kagura-chan.
Shin: You don't have the right
Shin: to call yourself her boyfriend.
Dai: Damn you...
Dai: How dare you ruin this sacred ceremony and my first kiss?!
Shin: It's too bad.
Shin: In your obsession with keeping Kagura-chan to yourself,
Shin: you trampled on her feelings and tried to take away something precious to her.
Dai: This has nothing to do with you! Piss off!
Shin: Do you understand?!
Shin: The dear daughter he raised was taken from him by some random guy,
Shin: and yet, for her sake, he tried to welcome him with a smile.
Shin: Do you understand that bald father's feelings?
Shin: Do you understand?
Shin: He let go of the person he'd protected with care for so long,
Shin: believed in the man she chose, and even tried to entrust his sword to him.
Shin: Do you understand that light-haired father's feelings?
Shin: Do you understand?
Shin: He actually felt really sad,
Shin: but held back his tears and played the straight man for Kagura's sake.
Shin: Do you understand how those father's glasses felt?!
Dai: Will you guys shut up about fathers already?
Dai: Quit poking your nose in a couple's relationship!
Dai: It's gross as hell!
Dai: If you can't let your child go, I'll lop off your arm for you!
Dai: Before the ceremony, cause a bloodbath with the annoying apes of Earth!
Dai: Offer them up as sacrifices for our wedding!
Dai: att*ck on, titans!
Hana: Oh, no! Titans are pouring out of their mother ship!
Hana: Are we witnessing the apocalypse?!
Dai: Adios, fathers.
Dai: Your dear daughter belongs to me, the great Dai!
Dai: Huh? I don't think we arranged for a rice shower...
Hana: A rain of blood?
Hana: Can you believe it? Instead of a rice shower, a red shower of blood is raining down!
Hana: It's the blood of titans!
Hana: This isn't titans attacking on! It's an att*ck on titans!
Dai: N-No way.
Shin: Gross?
Shin: Fine by us.
Shin: Be it a boyfriend's possessiveness toward his girl, or a race's possessiveness,
Shin: all men are gross in one way or another, including you.
Shin: But that's nothing.
Shin: You're up against a father's gross possessiveness toward his daughter.
Shin: Don't think you can b*at that!
Gin: Hey, boyfriend. I'm impressed.
Gin: I never expected you to be prepared to destroy Earth to make Kagura yours.
Gin: When you're asking someone for their daughter they raised with love,
Gin: you do need the balls to take an entire planet.
Gin: Yeah, it takes balls from both the taker and the giver.
Dai: You guys want to start a planetary w*r over a single girl?!
UB: As if grown-ass grown-ups would ever do that for a filthy brat like her.
Gin: You can take her with you, but...
Bo: Only once you grow up and learn how to bow!
Gin: We finally said something grown up.
UB: Yeah.
UB: Now we're full-fledged adults, too.
Bo: Oh...
Bo: We forgot about Kagura.
Odd_Jobs_Gin_cha,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Shin: Whoa, hold it.
Shin: What's with that huge letter?
Kag: It's a letter from Dai-chan from back home.
Kag: You guys should read it, too.
Shin: What? From that prince?
Shin: Are we gonna be okay? He's not declaring w*r or anything, right?
Shin: If he comes back to take Kagura-chan, what do we do, Gin-san?
Gin: Shinpachi, send a reply at once.
UB: "She's a good-for-nothing daughter, but please take—"
Shin: Uh...
Shin: "Thanks for taking care of me during my stay on Earth.
Shin: Interacting with a different culture, I've realized the importance of family.
Shin: In particular, I had the opportunity to learn all too well how great fathers are.
Shin: It was a great learning experience."
Shin: Huh? He's turned over a new leaf and become a different person!
UB: Well, his letters are always polite.
Dai: The next time I get a girlfriend,
Dai: I want to forget about our dated and evil customs and treat her family well, too.
Dai: In particular, I'll treat the father well.
Dai: I'll try not to defy the father, no matter what.
Shin: Uh, fathers have totally become a trauma to him now.
UB: Well, a lot happened, but all's well that ends well.
UB: He took a step forward as a person.
UB: With this, the home planet of those lugs should improve a little bit.
Gin: Apparently not.
Dai: P.S. I recently found some amazing genes that interest me.
Dai: Fathers really are amazing, huh?
Shin: Um...
Shin: I don't know about improving. If this keeps up, their planet will die out.
Gin: This is on you.
Gin: He awakened to the other side because of what you did to the priest.
Shin: Don't pin all the blame on me! You did this by going too far!
Gin: Tell the old man that. I'm not the father.
UB: What do you mean? I'm still young enough to be called "bro"!
Gin: Yeah, right, "bro." More like your hair all went "go home."
UB: They didn't go home! I'm still attacking on, fightan!
Shin: What happened to bro?
Kag: To Dai-chan.
Kag: I learned a lot thanks to you, too.
Kag: I don't really get the difference between romantic and familial love yet,
Kag: but for now,
Kag: I'm fine with having just these guys as boyfriends.
Ep Title,Title: A Bowl of Ramen
Gin: Next time: "A Bowl of Ramen."
TextR: Next time, the widow running a ramen place,
TextL: Ikumatsu, makes an appearance after ten long years.
TextR: We have the always familiar, the nostalgic,
TextL: and the somewhat different people all in one big gathering.
Kag: This is my boyfriend, Dai-chan from Planet Titan.
Shin: Huh?
Shin: Wait, what?!
Shin: Kagura-chan, what do you mean, Titan?!
Gin: Hey, what's the meaning of this? This isn't what you said!
UB: Kagura-chan, who was the boy that gave you the letter, then?
Kag: Oh, he was just a friend who handed over the letter in Dai-chan's place.
Kag: Dai-chan's too big to write a letter,
Kag: and it seems he was too shy to hand it over himself.
Shin: Uh... Wait, you actually had such a huge friend?
Kag: Yep. Soyo-chan introduced us.
Shin: The princess?
Kag: Believe it or not, Dai-chan's the prince of Planet Titan.
Kag: But being so big, he had no one to play with and nowhere he could play, so he was bored.
Kag: So I played with him, 'kay?
Kag: And then he got attached to me.
G: Monsters!
Gin: I don't know if I'd call this "attached"...
Bo: It looks more like he brought an army to conquer Earth!
Gintama,OP Card: Gintama
Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc
Title: My Bald Dad, My Light-Haired Dad, and My Dad's Glasses
Warning: Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room andat a safe distance from your TV!
Kag: Awesome, right? I totally got the jump on the bingo balls of life.
Gin: You may have hit bingo with royalty...
Gin: But his balls are way too big! Riding those would be harder than riding a Gundam!
Kag: Anyway, don't be so nervous, 'kay? Take a seat, Dai-chan.
Gin: Huh? Wait, what now?
Gin: Is this the boy? Is this really the boyfriend?
Gin: What's a "boyfriend," again? How is it spelled?
UB: Calm down. He's just a big boyfriend.
UB: A father whose daughter's boyfriend thinks he's a pushover is done for.
UB: Oh, I see. So you're Kagura's boyfriend.
UB: Thanks for being there for her.
UB: I'm her father.
Gin: That's the space-famous Umibozu for you.
Gin: With no fear of the massive boyfriend, he showed off how dignified a father can be.
Gin: F-F...
Gin: Father!
Shin: Umibozu-san!
Shin: He's been turned to mincemeat! Only one of his b*lls remains!
Gin: That's not one of his b*lls! It's just his cue ball!
Dai: Ah, my bad.
Dai: Damn, I overdid it.
Dai: I ain't been on Earth long,
Dai: so I don't really get how to do greetings or, like, the bowing thing.
Dai: And, like, I can't stand that kinda formal crap, anyway.
Dai: You can ignore the prince thing, so why don't we keep things frank and casual, Pops?
Dai: Since you're Kagura's old man, I already consider you a bro.
Dai: Oh, could you tell me your email address?
UB: I see. Then I'll tell you...
UB: the email address to Hell!
Gin: Why me?!
UB: C-Calm down! Grow up!
UB: You promised to be a grown-up today!
Gin: You calm down!
UB: He comes across as incredibly audacious, but I'm imagining things, right?
UB: It just seems like he's looking down on us because he's so huge, right?
UB: Kids these days are all like that, right? Right?!
Gin: We'll never get anywhere if you get pissed by whatever a kid says.
Gin: Let me handle this.
Gin: Y-Yeah, Earth's societal norms are too complicated, huh?
Gin: We just wanted to meet Kagura's friend, is all.
Gin: Anyway, make yourself at home. Want some tea?
Dai: Nah, I'm good. I'm chewing gum.
Gin: Really? We have snacks, too.
Dai: Seriously, I'm good. Earth food doesn't suit my taste.
Gin: Oh, really?
Gin: Could he be any more blunt? Is he messing with me?
Gin: What do you usually eat?
Gin: Your size must complicate things.
Dai: Hip hop.
Gin: What do you mean, you eat hip hop?
Dai: The only things on Earth that suit my tastes are hip hop and reggae.
Dai: They're music of the soul, check it out.
Kag: Apparently, everyone on his planet is a b-boy.
Gin: Uh, you guys are just big boys!
Dai: Everything else is old-fashioned and lame.
Gin: Look who's talking! You're all dressed like cavemen!
Dai: Honestly, I was shocked I had to come meet my girlfriend's folks.
Gin: Huh? Why?
Dai: What matters is how the couple feels in their hearts.
Dai: Parents sticking their nose into it is totally lame, I say.
Dai: Earth is pretty behind the times, huh?
Gin: Really? I can't tell. Are we?
Gin: Anyway, isn't it normal to be worried about the kind of friends your daughter has?
Gin: Right, Kagura?
Dai: Y'know, I've been meaning to point this out.
Dai: I'm not her friend.
Dai: I'm her boyfriend.
Gin: Oh, sorry. Boyfriend, huh?
Gin: I hate to say it, but that word doesn't exist on Earth.
Gin: Right, Kagura?
Dai: Hey, can I be straight with you? Who are you to Kagura?
Dai: I don't want some rando calling her "Kagura" like they're close.
Dai: She's my gal.
Kag: Dai-chan, I mentioned this before.
Kag: Gin-chan's my Earth dad.
Kag: Wait, brother?
Kag: Oh, I know. He's like crab lice, 'kay?
Gin: Why did I regress to being crab lice?!
Dai: Y'know, you're going out with me. Why are you still living with your ex?
Dai: I won't stand for half-assing things like that.
Dai: Keep messing with my gal, and I'll make a mess of Earth.
Dai: FYI, we could wipe out yourEarth if we wanted to.
Dai: If I say the word, my bros all over the galaxy will gather here.
Gin: Bring it!
Gin: att*ck on anytime you want, titans!
Gin: I'll force a retreat back into space!
Gin: For your hairline, that is!
UB: Why my hairline?!
Gin: Calm down! You're a grown-up!
Gin: Now we're even!
UB: Grown-ups don't obsess over getting even!
Gin: I'm imagining things, right?
Gin: Some brain-dead boy is saying he'll wipe out Earth,
Gin: but only your hair roots will be wiped out, right?
Gin: Right? Right?!
UB: Just calm down, you two.
UB: Dai-kun, it's not what you think. These two aren't like that.
UB: Kagura's only working a live-in job here.
UB: Honestly, I'm against it too, but she doesn't listen to me.
Dai: For real? Who would want to work here?
Shin: Calm down!
Dai: But you can rest assured, Pops.
Dai: I'm gonna finish my work here and go back home soon.
Dai: I plan on taking Kagura with me.
Kag: Hey, what are you talking about?
Dai: Oh, keep your mouth shut.
Dai: I don't intend to half-ass things with Kagura.
Dai: I'm gonna marry her.
Shin: Hey! What are you two doing?!
UB: I'm imagining things, right?
UB: I think I heard the word "marry" just now, but I'm just imagining things, right?
Gin: Yeah, that's right. It's totally just your imagination.
Kag: Who said you could talk like that?
Kag: Marry me? That's news to me.
Dai: Oh, keep your mouth shut!
Dai: We're discussing something important here.
Gin: Uh, I'm not sure I follow. Aren't you skipping a few too many steps?
Gin: That stuff comes after dating and things going well.
Gin: And you haven't even started dating yet.
Dai: We don't need to do all that crap.
Dai: We're soulmates. Our hearts are totally resonating.
Gin: Oh, really?
UB: Now, now. Puppy love makes your mind go blank and blinds you.
UB: Most people start finding tons of faults
UB: and come to hate each other eventually.
Dai: Nah, that ain't happening with us.
Dai: I ain't got any faults.
Dai: And even if Kagura does, I've got the heart to accept them all.
UB: Oh, really?
Gin: Nah, you won't be saying that for long.
Gin: You'll learn how big a glutton she is once you live with her.
Gin: She'll destroy your food budget.
Gin: Plus she's crude and can't cook anything but egg-on-rice.
Gin: She's sure to be a useless housewife who doesn't do any housework.
UB: Yeah, yeah.
UB: Plus she's a 'kay addict who needs a trip to 'Kay A.
UB: And your kids will % inherit the bald gene.
UB: What do you even see in her?
UB: If I were you, I'd never pick her up if she was lying on the street.
UB: I'd take her to the lost and found!
Kag: Oh, really?!
Kag: This is perfect, then.
Kag: You can marry me off and get rid of me.
Kag: Fine by me, 'kay? I don't like half-assing things, either.
Kag: Guess we can date with an eye toward marriage.
UB: Wait!
Gin: That's not it!
Dai: Well, there you have it. You'll give us your blessings, right?
Shin: Now, now.
Shin: Calm down, all of you.
Shin: Putting aside the taking Kagura-chan along thing for now...
Shin: We'll just take it as a sign that you're serious about this relationship.
Shin: That's okay, right?
Bo: Hell no!
UB: You're just a rotten virgin with zero experience! Stay out of this!
UB: They're not getting engaged at such a young age!
Gin: Quit mouthing off about your naïve ideals!
Gin: Love is just a illusion!
Gin: True love only begins once that illusion wears off, you stupid brats!
Shin: Tell them, not me!
Bo: We're being grown-ups here because you told us to grow up!
Shin: Then say what you're supposed to as grown-ups!
Gin: What the hell, man? What's a grown-up, anyway?
Gin: I don't know anymore!
Shin: Meanwhile, those two went off on their date!
Bo: Ack!
Kag: Man, dating is a pain.
Kag: Can't we just stay friends?
Kag: We're only gonna be sparring like usual anyway, right?
Dai: Nah, it was only during the day so far,
Dai: but now we'll be able to spar at night, too.
Dai: More than anything, I don't wanna let anyone else have you.
Kag: I don't see why I have to be monopolized by either you or those morons.
Dai: Are you stupid? You know that ain't it.
Dai: If you love someone, you wanna make them yours alone.
Dai: Ain't it only natural to feel that way?
Kag: Well, I wouldn't really care if someone else took you.
Dai: Y-You just haven't realized that you're in love yet because you're such a child!
Kag: Then what? Those morons are saying they don't wanna give me away.
Kag: Are they in love with me, too?
Dai: That's a different kinda love. Like, familial.
Dai: But we gotta distance ourselves from that and find our own love someday.
Kag: I see. But in a way, they love me too, huh?
Dai: Hey, what are you smirking for?
Kag: No reason.
Kag: It's been a long day. I'm exhausted.
Kag: Let's save the date for another day, 'kay?
Dai: What? Why?!
Dai: I said I'm going back home soon, didn't I?
Kag: We can just have a long-distance relationship.
Dai: Hey, wait up!
Dai: Are you okay with being separated from me?
Dai: I could cheat on you back home! You okay with that?!
Kag: That's pretty much it, Dai-chan.
Kag: You can find love scattered anywhere.
Kag: But those scatterbrains...
Kag: ...I can only find here.
Kag: See you.
Kag: Write to me, 'kay?
Dai: I ain't letting you go, Kagura.
Dai: I ain't gonna accept a long-distance relationship.
Dai: I finally found robust genes that are worthy of being inherited by titans.
Dai: I can't let the people on this planet keep them all to themselves.
Soyo: What?!
Soyo: Kagura-chan and Prince Dai?!
Soyo: I didn't know those two had that kind of relationship.
Soyo: He took Kagura-chan from me. I feel a little b*rned.
Bo: Things really will burn.
UB: If you don't tell us where they hang out right now...
Gin: ...we'll burn down your castle.
Shin: Hey! The princess has nothing to do with this!
Shin: She didn't do anything wrong!
Gin: But you're the one who introduced him to Kagura, right?
Gin: Where did you guys hang out?
Gin: Which love hotel district? Which storeroom behind a gym?
Gin: Which orgy venue?
Soyo: We'd never hang out at such places!
Soyo: I-It was usually the river bank or the park...
Soyo: Hey!
Soyo: They might be gone already!
Shin: There they go.
Shin: What do you mean, they might be gone?
Soyo: Despite what the titans look like,
Soyo: they're a peaceful and quiet race as long as they can listen to hip hop.
Soyo: There's just one thing.
Soyo: Titan royalty have looked for their brides on other planets for generations.
Soyo: But what they do after they find her is crazy.
Soyo: They look to monopolize her genes.
Soyo: To prevent the spread of their perfect spouse's genes outside their own race,
Soyo: they eradicate all life on the bride's home planet,
Soyo: leaving no traces, not even a strand of DNA.
Massive_UFO_in_E,Sign: Massive UFOin Edo Skies
Hana: Are you all seeing this?
Hana: Titans suddenly appeared in Edo,
Hana: with a huge ship that nearly covers the entire sky above the city.
Hana: Just who are they?
Shin: Dai-kun will destroy Earth?
Shin: No way! Did we treat him badly?
Shin: Did we act too much like an annoying mother-in-law?!
Soyo: That's not really the issue.
Shin: Forget coming to take our girl,
Shin: he came to take our Earth?!
Shin: Forget the bingo balls of life,
Shin: he came to crush the ball that gives us life?!
Soyo: We must stop the titans at once.
Soyo: I'll let Brother know and have the Bakufu Army move out right away.
Shin: You've got it wrong.
Shin: They aren't the ones we need to stop.
Shin: The titans aren't the ones we need to be truly afraid of.
Hana: Oh, look at that!
Hana: An army of titans dressed in formal attire is descending on us!
Dai: Earthlings.
Dai: As Planet Titan's representative, allow me to express our gratitude.
Dai: You have our heartfelt gratitude for giving us the perfect bride.
Dai: Rejoice.
Dai: With this ceremony,
Dai: Earthling DNA will gain eternal prosperity along with us titans.
Dai: Please give your blessings to our marriage ceremony.
Hana: I-Is this a wedding?
Hana: The titans have destroyed the city and built a big marriage venue!
Hana: Wait, is that...
Hana: An Earthling girl?!
Hana: The titans have taken a lone girl c*ptive!
P: Do you promise to be true to her in good times and bad,
P: in sickness and in health, and to love and honor her all the days of your life?
Dai: I do.
Hana: Is this a ceremony to take that girl as his wife?
P: Bride. Do you promise to be true to him in good times and bad,
P: in sickness and in health, and to love and honor him all the days of your life?
Dai: She said she does.
P: You may now seal your vows with a kiss.
Hana: That innocent girl's purity is about to be taken by those massive lips!
Dai: Kagura...
Dai: Now your strong genes belong to me!
Dai: You should just look at me, and me alone.
Shin: Hold it right there!
Dai: Wait, father!
Dai: We can't! I don't swing that way!
Dai: Father? Father!
Shin: Dai-kun.
Shin: I'm sorry, but I can't let you have Kagura-chan.
Shin: You don't have the right
Shin: to call yourself her boyfriend.
Dai: Damn you...
Dai: How dare you ruin this sacred ceremony and my first kiss?!
Shin: It's too bad.
Shin: In your obsession with keeping Kagura-chan to yourself,
Shin: you trampled on her feelings and tried to take away something precious to her.
Dai: This has nothing to do with you! Piss off!
Shin: Do you understand?!
Shin: The dear daughter he raised was taken from him by some random guy,
Shin: and yet, for her sake, he tried to welcome him with a smile.
Shin: Do you understand that bald father's feelings?
Shin: Do you understand?
Shin: He let go of the person he'd protected with care for so long,
Shin: believed in the man she chose, and even tried to entrust his sword to him.
Shin: Do you understand that light-haired father's feelings?
Shin: Do you understand?
Shin: He actually felt really sad,
Shin: but held back his tears and played the straight man for Kagura's sake.
Shin: Do you understand how those father's glasses felt?!
Dai: Will you guys shut up about fathers already?
Dai: Quit poking your nose in a couple's relationship!
Dai: It's gross as hell!
Dai: If you can't let your child go, I'll lop off your arm for you!
Dai: Before the ceremony, cause a bloodbath with the annoying apes of Earth!
Dai: Offer them up as sacrifices for our wedding!
Dai: att*ck on, titans!
Hana: Oh, no! Titans are pouring out of their mother ship!
Hana: Are we witnessing the apocalypse?!
Dai: Adios, fathers.
Dai: Your dear daughter belongs to me, the great Dai!
Dai: Huh? I don't think we arranged for a rice shower...
Hana: A rain of blood?
Hana: Can you believe it? Instead of a rice shower, a red shower of blood is raining down!
Hana: It's the blood of titans!
Hana: This isn't titans attacking on! It's an att*ck on titans!
Dai: N-No way.
Shin: Gross?
Shin: Fine by us.
Shin: Be it a boyfriend's possessiveness toward his girl, or a race's possessiveness,
Shin: all men are gross in one way or another, including you.
Shin: But that's nothing.
Shin: You're up against a father's gross possessiveness toward his daughter.
Shin: Don't think you can b*at that!
Gin: Hey, boyfriend. I'm impressed.
Gin: I never expected you to be prepared to destroy Earth to make Kagura yours.
Gin: When you're asking someone for their daughter they raised with love,
Gin: you do need the balls to take an entire planet.
Gin: Yeah, it takes balls from both the taker and the giver.
Dai: You guys want to start a planetary w*r over a single girl?!
UB: As if grown-ass grown-ups would ever do that for a filthy brat like her.
Gin: You can take her with you, but...
Bo: Only once you grow up and learn how to bow!
Gin: We finally said something grown up.
UB: Yeah.
UB: Now we're full-fledged adults, too.
Bo: Oh...
Bo: We forgot about Kagura.
Odd_Jobs_Gin_cha,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Shin: Whoa, hold it.
Shin: What's with that huge letter?
Kag: It's a letter from Dai-chan from back home.
Kag: You guys should read it, too.
Shin: What? From that prince?
Shin: Are we gonna be okay? He's not declaring w*r or anything, right?
Shin: If he comes back to take Kagura-chan, what do we do, Gin-san?
Gin: Shinpachi, send a reply at once.
UB: "She's a good-for-nothing daughter, but please take—"
Shin: Uh...
Shin: "Thanks for taking care of me during my stay on Earth.
Shin: Interacting with a different culture, I've realized the importance of family.
Shin: In particular, I had the opportunity to learn all too well how great fathers are.
Shin: It was a great learning experience."
Shin: Huh? He's turned over a new leaf and become a different person!
UB: Well, his letters are always polite.
Dai: The next time I get a girlfriend,
Dai: I want to forget about our dated and evil customs and treat her family well, too.
Dai: In particular, I'll treat the father well.
Dai: I'll try not to defy the father, no matter what.
Shin: Uh, fathers have totally become a trauma to him now.
UB: Well, a lot happened, but all's well that ends well.
UB: He took a step forward as a person.
UB: With this, the home planet of those lugs should improve a little bit.
Gin: Apparently not.
Dai: P.S. I recently found some amazing genes that interest me.
Dai: Fathers really are amazing, huh?
Shin: Um...
Shin: I don't know about improving. If this keeps up, their planet will die out.
Gin: This is on you.
Gin: He awakened to the other side because of what you did to the priest.
Shin: Don't pin all the blame on me! You did this by going too far!
Gin: Tell the old man that. I'm not the father.
UB: What do you mean? I'm still young enough to be called "bro"!
Gin: Yeah, right, "bro." More like your hair all went "go home."
UB: They didn't go home! I'm still attacking on, fightan!
Shin: What happened to bro?
Kag: To Dai-chan.
Kag: I learned a lot thanks to you, too.
Kag: I don't really get the difference between romantic and familial love yet,
Kag: but for now,
Kag: I'm fine with having just these guys as boyfriends.
Ep Title,Title: A Bowl of Ramen
Gin: Next time: "A Bowl of Ramen."
TextR: Next time, the widow running a ramen place,
TextL: Ikumatsu, makes an appearance after ten long years.
TextR: We have the always familiar, the nostalgic,
TextL: and the somewhat different people all in one big gathering.