let's go while we're young hey I just
came over to say goodbye goodbye aren't
you gonna wish me good luck good luck
you have no idea who I am do you maybe
this will help Milla put back my
snowblower you see the best of Ed Bailey
my next-door neighbor how are you I'm
moving to Hawaii now I felt the cases
you know oh he wants his vacations the
other night you told me take me
somewhere I've never been before I took
it to a men's room Wow we'll miss you
you know they don't need snow blowers in
Hawaii I'm taking it anyway in my last
newspaper before you steal it okay I
guess I deserve that you know you
haven't been such a great neighbor
yourself you remember that time I came
over to be sociable and you threw me out
of course you're naked more hot tub I
wasn't naked I was wearing a speedo they
kept riding up on me all in the police
report Hey Ya let's leave this on a good
note you know Barry that how can I bury
the hatchet you took it for me you stole
it never gave it back neighbor
you
[Applause]
Lauren I thought we had a deal about not
watching TV before you finished your
homework Oh see I thought it was you who
couldn't watch TV until I finished my
homework I could shave your head while
you're sleeping you but I was watching
the real world that's not the real world
this is the real world and if you sit in
front of the TV and you don't do your
homework then you wind up like this guy
I'm looking at right now stand it in the
middle of the street staring out into no
we're watching his life go by fine don't
wind up like dad okay I get it and I'm
st. Patrick's Day dad's gonna show you
why you shouldn't drink I was watching
our new neighbors moving and you just
stood out there where they could see you
with that big happy smile on that giant
jolly face oh great now they're gonna
want to be friends all right Judy I
don't like people any more than you do
I'm just thinking maybe these neighbors
will let us build the backyard deck
we've been dreaming about oh not the
deck again what neighbors gonna want us
to build a deck that close to their
property line besides it's against the
building code Judy it's worth a shot
beer drinking sunbathing barbecuing all
as they say in France clothing ops unit
well if we're going to take a run at
this we only got one shot so we got to
handle these people carefully not
rushing you know we got to give him a
day or two to really Phil Phil I swear
when that man wants something he moves
like I'm Panther I told you not to rush
this how'd you get a bottle of wine
between our house in here I took it out
of that gift basket back hey I'm Judy
Miller and this is my my husband Bill
Miller were your new next-door neighbors
and we just wanted to bring you a little
something oh that's so nice come on in
where do you want to put that down for a
minute and meet our new neighbors and
Miller's this is my son Chris he just
started at Jefferson High hi nice to
meet you hi our son Brian goes to
Jefferson you might have some classes
together well chris is in the special AP
program oh well good for you big fella
uh actually ap stands for Advanced
Placement via college credit that's the
same program right fella Oh carry your
mom's on the phone oh goody an excuse to
drink this hey mama these are the
millers you live next door hi I'm Shelly
nice to meet you to meet you hey Chris
don't you have a chem lab to write up
you're not gonna get into medical school
by slacking off although it opens a lot
of doors where I work
I'll get it started I nice meeting you
Sheldon mover needs to be paid I can't
find my purse sometimes I swear if she
weren't so pretty boy those two sure get
along Oh got to remember to find the
husband and ask him about that deck I
don't think there's a husband did you
notice how their son Chris called them
both mom and how that Shelley said that
Terry's pretty lesbian couple right here
in our own neighborhood what do you
think they use that for I'm sure it's
nothing don't touch it okay we should
say something like you know we're okay
with it we have to say anything they're
just people and if we want them to let
us build that deck you'll quit scaring
it that thing will ya Francis moving no
no we're the ones imposing we just
wanted to welcome you and your your same
gendered love buddy
yeah sorry one of the nicest names we've
been called it just says that you know
we are totally cool with you two being
lesbians no in fact we admire it we
think you're here oh well you win
fireman well thanks for coming by when
we're settled in let's all get together
well what about this weekend we'll have
you over for a barbecue don't get your
hopes up for a deck though it ain't
there what guilty so you gals like all
the regular food type film actually we
don't eat cheese oh is that a lesbian
there was a lactose intolerant thing
help you're a big guy can you help me
lift my coleus into this basket oh I'm
into it but I'd have to ask my wife
it's a plan oh then I have kind of a
week back
[Music]
okay let me show you some of the cool
people to hang out with the TJ hi all
right sports teams yawn from whatever ah
here we are magic club lille ah who's
that that's my sister and her stupid
dance club that's your sister she lives
here yeah ask you got someone who takes
basic math living all right time eater
yeah I guess Lauren Wow come here why
just do it she sounds nice oh hi this is
Chris he's on your neighbor and you've
also in some of my AP classes so i'm
just showing in the ribs did he show you
the one in Jimmy can't climb hey Chris
what time are your folks coming over
well my mom had to pick my other mom up
from work so I guess we'll be here a
minute I think it's great how you've
accepted having two moms and what to
accept its natural in fact it's better
than natural it's supernatural mom
they're lesbians not ghosts whatever we
like them both very much you're grounded
what are you doing Terry and Shelly will
be here any minute exactly when they see
how swampy our backyard gets they'll say
gee you guys should build a deck back
here and I'll say we'd love to but we
need your permission and they'll say
we'll give you our permission to build a
deck plus a video of us playing shower
games I told you if we move too fast on
this they're gonna think it's the only
reason we're being nice to them Judy I'm
a Salesman I know how to be subtle you
know oh come on thanks for having us
over brought some clothes fun oh thank
you we love cole slaw yeah we love it
can we build a deck well please I'm
sorry can we build a deck please
[Music]
careful is the neighbors agreed to us
build this day well when Tina slipped
and fell in the mud they just couldn't
say no good think she fell yeah oh I'm
ready to get to work finally I've been
building this deck all by myself hello
I'm sorry Brian you're doing a great job
once you take a break funnest part of my
days been watching that kid try and
swing a hammer Hey look at your cat face
did you have fun at the street fair yeah
we had a great time are you feeling
better since you fell yeah
Wow so the desk looking great how did
you get those gals to sign a waiver a
waiver yeah you know giving you
permission to build next to their
property line oh well we didn't actually
get them to sign anything they just said
we could build it you can get that in
writing no why well just you know I see
the sort of stuff in the law office all
the time you don't get it in writing
things go sour they complain to the city
and it's my deck so we'll get them to
sign a waiver until then we'll be great
neighbors good neighbors maybe we should
stay in a hotel yeah Christmas insights
and I'm supposed to ask you guys if I
can go to a movie with him so shake your
head now in case you're looking why
don't you want to go out with him well
he's in the math club and the rocket
club please shake your head down but
honey he saw a new neighbor and we want
to keep our neighbors happy besides
you're not getting any younger blink
your eyes and you'll be 40
that's that one hey so you're right
you're right you're going why because
you need to keep an open mind give him a
chance Chris there might be more to him
than you think yeah Chris would be happy
to let you and lauren go to the movies
together great yeah and guess what the
best part if my dad is gonna give us
like 50 bucks and spending money reggae
yeah but I'm gonna give you half now and
that's all
so you square the hypotenuse and the
answer is 54 yeah yeah uh uh hey Chris
everything mr. physics I'm work yet
because I wanted to cross check some of
my answers actually I haven't started
I'll g2 to launch but rocket club meets
tomorrow at lunch yeah I wish to hear my
quit rocket club translation he doesn't
want to play spaceman with you thanks
man we never even reached the ionosphere
why don't you go play with your
ionosphere yeah okay fine I'm just gonna
go play with the loose collection of
particulate matter that's real smart you
want another setter yeah sure I'll get
it wow look at you two great kids
studying together getting to know each
other does my heart good you realize i'm
not paying you for this really oh oh hey
Chris do you know if your moms have had
a chance to take a look at that waiver
thingy I dropped off like a week ago
yeah actually I heard them talk about it
maybe I'll pop all we're saving the trip
where's mom oh she's out back working
out the deck she was looking for you
hey neighbors oh hi Bell yeah I was I
was just chatting with Lauren and Chris
those two seem to be getting along great
who knows this keeps up you could become
our lesbians in law step the correct
term you know bill we're not just
lesbians she's a nurse and I'm a flight
attendant awesome well it seems that
ever since chris has been hanging out
with Lauren he's been bringing home
grades it or not up to his level bees
and to see oh that's a that's a bad sign
that his grades are wavering did you get
a chance to sign this waiver thank you
but I think there's a bigger issue here
look I'm sorry if we seem overprotective
it's just that Chris is our only child
and we have high hopes for him it was a
huge drawn-out process just for us to
conceive I know Judy's like that too
sometimes I got to go through a whole
checklist before I'm cleared for landing
I never thought I could get more gay but
I just did
hey good news for you anyway bill we'd
appreciate it if you'd tell Lauren to
find some other boy to hang out with you
want me to break them up I'm a little
uncomfortable with that well we may be a
little uncomfortable having a deck so
close to our property line and after all
Judy and I have done for you we welcome
you to the neighborhood with a beautiful
bottle of wine down the basket in the
bushes then this is thoroughly
embarrassing good day
[Music]
oh well I've got to hand it to you this
whole thing with the neighbors has
turned out to be great I love this deck
yeah yeah and Lauren and Chris they
really seemed to like one another yeah
yeah you know what would be funny if we
broke him up come on let's go film why
would that be funny yeah here's the
thing apparently Shelly and Terry think
that Lauren's are bad influence on Chris
they don't want to see her anymore they
don't think Lauren's good enough for
their son I resent that Lauren can see
whoever she wants and no one can tell
her otherwise if we don't break him up
we lose the deck she's pretty girls to
land on her feet
we've been noticing that you've been
hanging out a lot with Chris yeah and
I've got to thank you guys for making me
give him a chance you guys were right
right that does not sound like us maybe
you shouldn't limit yourself to Chris
there are a lot of boys out there well
not like Chris I mean I really like him
he's smart and he's sweet really listens
to me thinking maybe my first real
boyfriend oh wow well someone happy for
you honey you know you're a very lovely
girl and he's lucky to have you you
could do so much better than more what I
mean don't get us wrong we love her but
she's our daughter and we kind of have
to I really like Lord yes so do we but
this is bigger than all of us say one
day you to get married and you're a
big-time doctor going to cure terrible
diseases and Lauren says you know no
honey stay home and watch the real world
with me and you're like five and then a
million people die we're just hanging
out maybe there's another girl out there
for you you know this is cute blonde
girl Brian likes you could totally take
her away from it I don't want anybody
else we born to coolest girl I've ever
known until I met her my life is all
about grades but she showed me how to
have fun whatever you guys did you
raised a great daughter you did I don't
know tomorrow's our three-week
anniversary and I want to make Lauren a
CD of all favorite songs sure
stupid good kids and their great
relationship and then we talked with
Lauren and Chris and we realized that
they're really sweet together he's good
for her and despite what you might think
she's good for him too and who are we to
stand between two people who want to be
together I mean you you of all people
must realize that you know you two
living in your house being who you are
you know gay yeah we just hope that you
can see it our way and let the children
stay together but if it means we have to
lose our deck so be it you know maybe
we're being a little rash about the
whole thing well not if we want him to
go to medical school we also want him to
be happy you know sometimes I feel like
we're pushing him too hard and it's not
like we're ever going to be able to stop
them from liking girls yeah I guess not
my mom certainly couldn't stop me you've
done a wonderful job with Chris you got
nothing to worry about I guess you're
right so what do you say you sign the
waiver why not it's not like hanging out
with Lauren a little bit is gonna undo
16 years of great cameras okay guess
what lauren had a great idea I so much
hello to get these turntables I'm gonna
be a party DJ can I get a what-what
Christmas lights out like a light great
get that damn plants out of here and
have some fun do tonight let's invite
that hot guy bill from next door get up
and help me tear apart this deck what
I'm gonna go next door and talk to about
this one more time
[Music]
I wouldn't have it any other way cousin
Ashley
[Applause]
03x02 - Still Neighbors
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.