01x24 - The Intruder

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Switched at Birth"...

Isn't it fantastic?

Four and a half stars.

All: What?!

I thought that when the book was done...

Things would go back to the way they were.

Yeah.

This isn't the end. It's the beginning.

Scene four, take five. Marking.

And action!

Behind you.

( Shouts )

The law says that I have to accommodate you to the best of my ability, so if you want to stay, go wash dishes. Can't do much damage there.

Yeah, I'd say sleeping with my brother's girlfriend is not handling things right!

I just have never understood the obsession with marriage as an end game.

It's a piece of paper.

Judge: I order Mr. Sorrento returned to Italy.

( Gavel bangs )

I just thought that we had some kind of future together.

I'm so sorry.

Will you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

I... I will.

♪ They start to play ♪
♪ it shakes the floor ♪
♪ it stings your ears, but this is what we trade our hearing for ♪
♪ the crowd stands still ♪
♪ and no one's moving, they'd just rather stand ♪
♪ and wait until someone starts to move ♪
♪ someone starts to move ♪
♪ shake shake shake, it's all what you make of it ♪
♪ break it until you know know know ♪
♪ your only mistake is if you stand still... ♪

( Vibrates )

♪ it's only up to you ♪
♪ it's only up to you ♪
♪ it's only up to you ♪

( Laughs )

( Phone chimes )

Hello.

Hello.

Yes, that's right.

This is me branching out from grilling slabs of meat and chili over an open flame.

This is called shrimp etouf.

Etouffée.

Mm-mm!

So good!

Thank you very much. for most doubles in a single season?

I certainly do.

71 doubles, my young friend.

Why do you ask?

Esteban Alvarado is creeping up on it.

Is that the catcher from the Indians?

Really?

How many does he have?

68.

68.

But, I mean, you know, there's only like 14 games left in the season.

Yeah, it's...

( Door opens )

Hey, have you guys seen my mom?

I got a text from her that said to come home.

Uh, yeah, me too.

What's going on?

( Car door closes )

What are you doing here?

I thought the judge said he had to leave immediate...

We got the necessary documentation for Angelo to stay in the country.

Angelo can stay.

For how long?

As long as you want.

John: How did you pull that off?

You got a green card?

We went back to the judge who granted Angelo a stay of the removal order when we told her that... we wanted to get married.

( Gasps )

You're getting married?!

We already did.

We had to do it immediately.

This marriage is strictly on paper.

Nothing is going to change.

Congratulations?

Yeah.

( Laughs )

Were you drunk?

At least then I could understand this.

He was going to be kicked out of the country for good.

Bay was hysterical. I had to do something.

I am so sorry I can't sign this and I wanted to tell you before, but I thought I should tell everyone at once.

So what happens now?

He finds an apartment.

We have our immigration interview and that's it.

That's it?

Mm-hmm.

Now he's got you breaking the law for him.

Ma!

We are not robbing banks.

My boss got his citizenship by marrying a lesbian in Nashville.

And if those two can get through their interview, we'll be just fine.

What kind of questions do they ask?

I was going to ask him about that.

Well, maybe I can find some stuff about it online.

Thank you, for handling this so well.

( Sighs )

Well, they're lying to the government and if we go along with it, so are we.

You know, it's just... look, it's a done deal, Kathryn. What do you want to do?

You want to report them to immigration?

And what are we telling the kids? That's it okay to cheat?

It's okay to pretend you're married?

( Chimes )

Uh, no, we're not saying... look, I think what we do is we suck it up for Bay, because basically it's the same deal as if Angelo had gotten his green card.

( Chimes )

What is that?

Oh, it's just an alert I've got every time Alvarado comes up to bat.

( Chimes )

But it's not important.

And what about Regina?

First she's with Angelo, then she's not with Angelo, then she's with Patrick, now she's married to Angelo.

I mean, you're okay with all that?

What do you want me to do?

I don't know.

( Chimes )

( Sighs )

( School bell rings )

What did you say to Regina?

Nothing.

She just impulsively decided to get married on her own?

She says it wasn't that big of a deal.

Tell that to the vein in mom's forehead.

Did you hear J and K fighting last night?

Okay look, I'm helping Angelo find an apartment.

We'll do our father-daughter bonding over there. He won't be around.

Mom's forehead's going to go back to normal.

I'll see you later.

Hey, Kennish, get in on this.

What's that?

Look who made it on the slutscore.

Check out those comments. Ha, they're brutal.

Payback really is a bitch.

Real classy, guys.

Boy: Come on, Kennish, it's a joke.

You know, man, Simone just gives it away and she's still got you whipped.

That's sad.

Douche.

( Guys mutter, laugh )

( Car arrives )

Hey.

So I realized I never said thank you.

Oh, you don't have to thank me.

I wasn't sure what you get your bio-mom for marrying your bio-dad so that he doesn't get deported and it wasn't exactly like you guys had a registry, but congratulations.

( Gasps ) It's gorgeous.

It's obsidian. I found it in the Galapagos, but don't tell anyone that because it's illegal to remove anything from the island.

Which makes it the perfect gift for a sham marriage.

( Laughter )

But seriously, thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm going apartment hunting with him this afternoon.

Good!

Yeah, I looked up a few listings, you know that glass building on Park, it's like a mile away?

Rooftop deck, k*ller view.

It might be a little pricey for Angelo...

I mean, being in detention and all the legal bills.

Good point. I should have thought of that.

I'll look for some more.

And I'd better go so you can tell your boyfriend about your husband.

Hey.

Hey.

Got your message. What's up?

( Siren blaring )

( Kids playing )

It isn't so bad.

I'm not sure I need this much space.

Maybe something a little bit more cozy.

What is your budget exactly?

Honey, it will be better once I start working.

Oh, I could help with that. I could, um...

What is it that you do again?

It's like music stuff, right?

I did, but I was thinking of getting back into carpentry.

Always been good at fixing things.

That's cool.

( Helicopter passing )

How did you expect me to react?

You said it yourself... marriage is just a piece of paper.

Yeah, but between you and another man who you have a kid with?

You didn't think that would affect us?

It doesn't mean anything. It's just for legal reasons.

Call me old-fashioned, but I'm not sure how I feel about dating a woman who's technically still on her honeymoon.

Patrick, come o...

Pat...

Oh gross.

Do we have a lost and found?

You know, in some cultures, finding a retainer is good luck.

Five bucks if you try it on.

10 if it fits.

( Gasps ) Ohh!

Oh ahh.

You cut yourself.

Yeah, that was a wicked sharp Kn*fe.

You know what? All right, c'mere, c'mere.

If you take a band-aid from the first aid kit, the entire kitchen's going to know you messed up.

Never let them see you bleed.

Perfecto.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Oh, you should also keep a stash in your kit.

Yeah, if I ever get off dishwasher duty and I need a kit.

I'm dying to get back to real food, not just the mashed-up remnants of it.

Look, Daphne, you are not going to be washing dishes forever.

Okay?

Hey, can I ask you something?

Mm-hmm.

I have this idea for the new menu that I thought I could pitch to chef...

Oh, eagerness is good, but around here you don't get promoted for the job you want.

You get promoted for the job you do.

Then I guess I'd better be the best damn dishwasher in the world.

Yeah.

( Laughs )

Oh my God.

We should have gotten our stories straight.

Relax, Gina, we don't have to make up a story, because we lived it. We just tell the truth.

What if they ask how you proposed?

( Door opens )

Man: Regina Vasquez?

Yeah.

Come with me, please.

We'll be interviewing you first.

Okay.

Eureka Falls.

Hey, I just wanted to thank you for defending me against that stupid website.

Those guys are douches. No big deal.

It's a big deal to me.

Toby...

Just don't.

Look, I just... it seemed like we were broken up.

I didn't even think that you would care at that point.

And for all I knew, Emmett and Bay were broken up.

Stop talking.

Can you at least tell me how your music's going?

Have you been writing?

We're not doing this.

( Bell rings )

So, Mrs. Vasquez... it is Vasquez?

Mm-hmm.

So you're not taking your husband's last name?

No, I'm not.

And why is that?

Have you met my wife?

Which side of the bed does Regina sleep on?

The left.

Which side of the bed does Angelo sleep on?

The middle!

But he'll tell you the right side.

And if he says that I snore, he's lying.

Let's move on to more personal items.

What brand of shampoo does Angelo use?

You don't expect a newlywed to know that.

I think a hairstylist would.

Well...

Tell me, how did you propose?

I first proposed on our fifth date.

We hiked to Eureka Falls.

Mm-hmm.

And we were the only ones there.

Because we forgot to check the weather forecast and it started to pour.

But then for a few minutes the rain stopped and the sun broke through the clouds.

And that's when he promised me that one day he would marry me.

I never thought it would take 17 years.

I'm just glad I finally have the chance to get to know my two daughters.

( Printer whirrs )

So this might be a little bit weird, and I will totally understand if you say no, but we're trying to get "Dawn of the Deaf" into this horror convention and we have to cut together a trailer.

I want to know if Emmett can come over and work on the computer.

You know what? It's a bad idea. I'm sorry.

No... I mean, it's okay.

He can come over.

Thank you.

Besides, I'm not gonna be home, so that'll just make it easier for everybody.

How are you doing with the whole mom-getting-married thing?

Well, at least we didn't have to wear some awful bridesmaids dresses.

True. Hey, and I finally get to be legitimate!

Bonus.

Seriously, thank you for being okay with it.

You're welcome.

From what I've seen, you're a couple with a deep shared history.

So congratulations on finally tying the knot.

However I'm confused by your living arrangements.

You listed a Mission Hills address as your residence.

That's correct.

Yet according to Mr. Sorrento's credit record, just yesterday he applied for a one-bedroom apartment on Warnall Road.

Yes, and it's for my mother-in-law.

You... you know how that is, right?

I see.

Unfortunately these kinds of red flags, the address discrepancy and the timing of the marriage, require me to refer your case to our fraud investigation department.

And what does that mean?

It's fairly routine.

Surprise inspections, certain verifications.

What do you need to verify? We have a child together.

That you actually live together as husband and wife.

That won't be a problem for you, will it?

No.

Not at all.

( Phone vibrates )

Seriously?

Now what?

( Sighs )

So they can just show up any time they want?

And run periodic credit checks to make sure neither of us tries to rent another apartment.

I thought it was just going to be the one interview.

So did I.

But this is getting way out of control.

Then get the marriage annulled.

We would be admitting fraud, and I don't have $250,000 lying around.

( Sighs ) I don't know what to do.

( Mutters in Spanish )

Take a deep breath.

We've survived a lot worse than this.

We're going to work this out. I promise.

But we still have to tell the Kennishes.

What do you think about that one?

That's too nice.

What do you mean too nice?

Sweetie, you're gonna be signing hundreds of books.

If you make every letter perfect, your hand's gonna fall off.

Trust me. Try doing it on a baseball.

Dad, the guy from Sportscenter is calling for you again.

I'm still out of town.

Sorry yeah, he's still outta town.

What is that all about?

They want me to come on some show when Alvarado breaks my record and... you know.

Then don't do it.

If I don't go, I'm just some old bitter guy.

Well, he hasn't broken it yet, right?

Yeah right.

( Knocks )

Hey.

Got a sec?

( Woman vocalizing )

You've been disappearing a lot lately.

Is that a question?

Were you with Emmett?

No.

I wasn't.

Good.

So, uh, did you see that thing about Simone?

The website?

Yeah.

Was it you?

I wouldn't do that... as much as I want to.

So, uh, you gonna tell me where you've been?

What is going on in there?

The bottom line is they're going to be making sure that we are living together and if we are not, we could both go to jail.

Uh, what?!

The interview didn't go well.

John: I don't understand this.

You knew this could happen, yet you did it anyway.

Dad, she didn't know that.

She did know that. If this weren't illegal, everybody would do it.

Didn't you see that movie "Green Card"?

There is no point in arguing about this now.

We'll just move out.

What?! All of you?

I thought the whole point of you guys moving in was so that we could all get to know each other.

We still can, we'll just find something close by that we can afford.

Wait, what's going on?

Apparently you guys are moving out.

What? I don't want to move!

John: All right, hold on a second.

You and Angelo can find an apartment; Daphne and Adrianna, they stay here.

Yeah.

I am not leaving Daphne!

( Gasps ) And I don't want to leave Bay either, but I am not going to turn this house upside down again.

Fine! Then Angelo will move into the guest house.

What are you talking about?

Now Angelo is gonna move into the guest house.

Are there any more aunts and uncles you want to move in too?

I cannot do that to Daphne.

Oh, now you're thinking about Daphne?

All right, Daphne moves in here. We have plenty of room.

So now you are going to move in here.

No, Daphne stays with me.

Never mind, that's not what's happening.

Just stop, okay?

I can't follow when you're all talking at once!

Which I think you would know by now.

( All apologizing )

No, just stop! We're doing it.

Angelo can move into the guest house and everyone can stop fighting, okay?

It's done!

( Sighs )

So I guess that Angelo's moving in, now you're gonna be moving out.

No.

You know none of this would even be happening if you hadn't called the authorities on my father behind everyone's back, including mine.

Bay, I'm sorry...

It's too late to apologize.

No no no, I wasn't going to apologize for doing it.

I was going to say that I'm sorry you have such a jerk for a dad.

And that one day you'll realize that I did the right thing.

I don't get it.

Regina changed. She turned her whole life around.

You were there for it.

Why is it so hard to believe that he can too?

Because some people never change.

( Surprised ) You're back.

Yeah, I just wanted to see if there were any open shifts I could take.

Sure! Take as many as you want.

Trying to make some extra cash?

Yeah, something like that.

( Sighs )

John: No, I'm just saying it would have been nice if you had checked with me before you invited him to move into our house with us.

You're the one who told Regina about marrying him in the first place.

That wasn't my idea!

I was repeating exactly what the lawyer told me, okay?

And by the way, whatever happened to "John", it's wrong to help perpetuate a lie"?

Because you know what? We are going to be the ones lying every single time an immigration agent shows up at our house.

What was I supposed to do? It was either that...

( Cellphone chimes ) or Daphne moves out, which I am not about to let happen.

Oh, that's great.

What?

Alvarado's up to 70.

Why don't you just turn that damn alert off?

I thought I had. Goodbye. I'm going to work.

( Screaming on computer )

Hey, I know things have been crazy around here and I was thinking we should do something... just the three of us.

We should go bowling.

Obviously I can't bowl, but I could still put away some cheesy fries.

I have to work tonight.

You've been working a lot lately.

Bye, grandma.

Goodbye, corazon.

You can't blame her.

I know.

This is a disaster.

My daughter doesn't want to be home.

I just wanted to do what was best for everyone.

Are you sure about that?

What is that supposed to mean?

I married him so my daughter could get to know her father.

Yeah, maybe.

But isn't this what you've wanted all along?

How could you say that?

Regina, how many times have you said that you're done with him?

He's an addiction and now you'll be living with him.

( Door opens )

Get off me!

Don't touch me!

What just happened?!

Hey, Toby! Oh my God, are you okay?

Did he hit you?

( Motorcycle starts )

Can you put those over there? I'm running out of room.

Hello? Hello!

Oh.

( Crying )

I'll pay for it.

They're 49¢ plates.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. I'm really sorry, chef.

Okay, you are not fine and you can call me Jeff.

When you're having a breakdown in my storage room, you're allowed to call me Jeff.

Now do you want to tell me what's going on?

It's a really long story.

Do you want to go home?

No, that's the last place I want to be right now.

I should get back to work.

Okay.

But you can slow down a little bit. It's not an olympic sport.

And if it's crazy at home, maybe that's where you should be breaking some plates.

Uh, don't worry. I will use my headphones when I play.

But if Toby wants to jam, I'm sorry, all bets are off.

I'm glad this is a joke to you.

I'm sorry.

I don't think this is a joke.

Really.

I tried to fix one problem and I created 100 others.

Things will calm down.

We have to give it time.

Come here.

I have to go.

Thank you.

Oh, it's nothing.

There's a player, he's about to tie my record for doubles.

"Maybe he'll get a broken leg"?

That would be nice, but I...

( Chimes )

Ah!

"Maybe not." Yeah.

I can't watch.

I tied somebody else's record? Yes, I did.

Do you remember that guy's name?

No, nor does anyone else.

Later.

What the hell are you doing?

This you?

k*ller.

It was... until you ruined it.

Put the pin back in the grenade, angry girl.

I'm just answering your piece.

You didn't answer it!

You finished it.

Yeah well, hey, that's how it works on the streets... someone does a piece of art and someone else finishes it.

I know how it works. I'm a street artist too... obviously.

You are missing the point.

The point is I wanted to be the one to finish it.

And I kept getting interrupted by all these people doing things that I didn't even ask them to do!

All right, you know what? Here, stop talking.

You finish it.

You don't have to yell.

You're Medusa.

You did that alley over on 30th the one with the sea creatures coming out of the sewer and that other one over on Bales with the snakes who were fleeing the burnt-out pet store.

What was the idea behind that one?

Like the snakes set the place on fire before hauling ass to freedom?

I don't know, dude. Yeah sure, whatever.

You're very perceptive.

Well, I really like your stuff.

Thanks.

But seriously, if you really hate the way it looks, go ahead and finish her the way you want.

I don't need to finish it.

You're sure?

I'm sure.

Man: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is the regular meeting of the Leawood sobriety group of alcoholics anonymous.

My name is Steve.

I'm an alcoholic and your secretary.

Hi.

Hi.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can...

( Car approaches )

( Car door creaks, slams )

Can I talk to you?

Yeah, of course.

I've tried really hard to be okay with Angelo moving in, but I'm not.

I thought you guys were getting along.

We are. It's just too much too soon.

I know.

I...

I wanted him back, but not like this.

It's like if he and I don't have the greatest father-daughter relationship in the world, then all of this is for nothing.

I get how important this is to you.

I just don't want to have to wake up and make small talk over breakfast or come home and have him ask me how my day was.

I wish that there was a better way.

It's clear that this is not going to work and I need to accept responsibility for that.

I'm just going to tell the judge that I panicked and made a mistake.

I'm not sure the "oops, sorry" defense stands up to fraud charges.

The judge was reasonable.

I'll just tell her that the pressure was too much and I made a rash decision.

Yeah, but before you do anything like that, you'd better contact a lawyer, because I...

You don't have to do that.

What if Angelo doesn't move into the guest house but he moves in here?

With us?

Daphne: And that way nobody has to go to prison, Bay can get to know her dad and I can have some distance.

Everybody's happy.

Or as happy as we could be...

( Moaning, screaming )

Everyone has been looking for you.

Are you okay? Let me take a look at that.

He's all moved in.

Bay: Oh God. Oh no.

( Moaning, screaming )

I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner.

No, I should have said something.

But you couldn't.

Is it because I haven't been able to sign?

I feel awful about that.

And I'm going to start trying with this hand again.

Mom, no.

You're supposed to let them rest.

I can read your lips.

But it's not the same.

No, it's not.

But we'll manage.

Mom, I'm okay, really, with all of it.

There you go again.

This time I mean it.

I swear.

And besides it's not just about me any more... there's Bay.

And I know what it's like to want to get to know your real dad.

How can I stand in the way of Bay getting to know hers?

Come here.

Would you pour me one of those?

This is for you.

Ahh.

I'm sorry about your record, honey.

Not mine any more.

Here's to Esteban Alvarado.

Aww, honey.

Oh.

I just liked being that guy.

I know.

I don't like sharing.

You'll always be Bay and Daphne's father, and to me you'll always be that guy.

I better call the guy from Sportscenter, tell him I'll do his damn show, pretend to be happy about it.

I'm getting a lot of practice at that these days.

So what happened with Emmett?

What was he doing here?

He was editing that zombie movie for some film festival.

Daphne asked if it was all right for him to come over.

She didn't ask me.

I guess she just figured you'd be okay with it.

Well, I'm not.

I'm sorry.

You do act like you're okay, though, with everything.

Well, I don't run around crying and yelling, but I'm not thrilled that my girlfriend had sex with your boyfriend.

Oh, that sounds really gross when you just lay it out like that.

Yeah, it's not pleasant.

I just... don't like being near the center of all this drama.

I know what you mean.

Come on.

You love being the center of the drama.

No, I just have a lot more practice than you do.

True that.

So how do you feel about Angelo moving in?

I mean, you live here too.

I don't know.

I guess it's just gonna get a little bit more crowded.

You wanna get out of here?

Where?

( Pop music playing )

You did this?

Some of it..

The girl's mine Mm, I can tell.

What about the rest?

Somebody else did that.

Who is he?

♪ 'Cause there's no reason... ♪

Nobody.

♪ I'm turning myself into... ♪

It's a step up from setting my dolls on fire with mom's kitchen torch, right?

Pfft, yeah, that wasn't creepy at all.

I was experimenting.

I was sleeping with my door locked.

It was not that dangerous!

( Laughing ) Come on, you almost b*rned your playhouse down.

Fire trucks came.

( Laughs )

♪ Hey hey-yyy ♪

That's pretty awesome.

♪ my own work of art... ♪
♪ Here where I stand, hey hey ♪
♪ hey-yy... ♪

Hey, come check this out!

♪ Give in ♪
♪ it's so hard to start ♪
♪ live in my skin ♪
♪ the bruises, are useless... ♪

You must be angry girl.

Don't make me regret bringing you.

♪ I'll try all I can ♪
♪ to find a soft place to land ♪
♪ calm down, calm down ♪
♪ calm down ♪
♪ I'm holding a heart ♪
♪ here in my hand ♪
♪ hey hey ♪
♪ hey-yyy ♪
♪ my own work of art ♪
♪ here where I stand ♪
♪ hey hey. ♪