02x04 - Looking Down the Road

Yeah, no, that's fine. That's... I can... I can totally do that.

[Sizzling]

That's, uh, perfect, actually.

So, I will see you...

Okay. Okay.

Well... bye.

Okay, sit.

Oh God.

Now... You will have a heart attack, but at least you will have a proper English fry-up.

Okay, everything on this plate is insane.

If I eat any of this, I'm gonna gain 400 pounds.

Oh, you're not fat, Patrick.

I used to be, and on the inside, I still am.

I am one ill-timed binge away from being "Fatrick" again.

[Laughing] Is that what they used to call you at school?

Oh, yeah. Fatrick, biscuit...

My sister Megan, though, she was the worst.

She called me "fat, fat frog."

Well, I wish they could all see the gorgeous, virile, s*x machine you've become.

And let me tell you something, they will all be fat, fat frogs themselves now.

Bon appétit!

So, um, last night...

You gave me the f*ck of my life?

Sorry. Carry on.

Right.

No, um, after that, I wasn't intentionally eavesdropping, but I heard...

Do you and Jon call each other every night when he's out of town?

Uh, yeah.

I brought it up, but we don't need to get into this right now.

Well, I think we should.

Yeah, me too.

Okay. Uh...

What do... what do you want to know that you don't already?

How do you feel when you go back to Jon?

After we've been together?

Pretty f*cking shitty.

I... [Sighs]

I feel the same way...

No.

As soon as you leave.

The way we are with each other, the way we were together last night, I don't have that with Jon.

Look, I promise you, this will sort itself.

I will sort it.

Okay?

I hope so. I hope that's true.

♪ I don't know much about clothes ♪
♪ but my hair looks fierce ♪
♪ I don't know much about clothes ♪
♪ but my hair looks fierce ♪
♪ I don't know much about clothes ♪
♪ but my hair looks fierce ♪

Really?

Oh, does the Queen of England not approve of a**l?

No, I heart a**l, too.

Is that your cocktail?

Uh, this pill is my cocktail, this is my fish oil, this is my b-12 with zinc, and that's my one-a-day.

Any other questions?

So, you want to get breakfast?

I can't.

I have to go to the shelter. I got my trans kids.

Well, can I just wait in here for a little bit?

You know, at least until Patrick texts me that it's safe to go home.

[Laughs] No.

What? I'm not leaving you alone in my apartment.

Go to the library.

Mmm!

Or come with me to the shelter. They have snacks.

♪ I don't know much about clothes, but my hair looks ♪

Okay. What do you want your password to be?

A childhood pet or the street you grew up on?

Password for...?

Kickstarter.

It's what all the kids with dreams are doing.

Oh my God, are we finally making our movie about a young rent boy's sexual coming of age?

Yes, of course, and the hag who loved him.

No, that will be next. That's amazing.

This is so we can rent your chicken window, okay?

f*ck those phantom investors.

We're gonna make this happen for you.

Kickstarter doesn't...

Food doesn't work that way.

Oh, really? Well, okay.

All I need from you is a password.

I also need a little paragraph about how this has always been your lifelong passion, um, and you have to offer some sort of incentives.

Some kind of... I don't know... [Mimics fellatio] Or something.

Doris, I'm not doing kickstarter.

It's desperate.

Uh, is that you or Lynn talking?

Hmm...

[Phone ringing]

Hey, what's up, man?

Hey.

I'm actually a little busy right now. I'm about to go into this...

So, Richie called me, this morning.

Oh, well, that's good.

Yeah, sure it's good, I know, but I just...

Agustín!

Don't know really what we're supposed to be doing exactly.

Um, um, look, uh...

Isn't this what you wanted?

You know? To reconnect and be friends?

[Agustín on phone]

Don't start freaking out, okay?

No, Agustín, I'm not freaking out.

It's just that this was my idea, and now that it's happening, I'm like...

How does this work? He doesn't even know about Kevin.

Oh sh1t. f*ck, I gotta go.

Okay. Bye.

All right.

Hey.

Hi.

Sorry, I'm... Just...

It's okay.

Heh.

So, um, what do you want to do?

I don't know. You hungry?

I just had a big breakfast.

But I... maybe we... ice cream?

Do you want to have ice cream?

Um...

Yeah, all right. Yeah.

I'll go for some ice cream.

Okay.

Isn't it weird, in San Francisco, how people love to wait in line?

I mean, yes, this honey lavender ice cream is delicious, but is it really worth waiting 45 minutes?

It's Bi-Rite, Patrick.

No. Yes. No, I know that it's Bi-Rite, but you can get the exact same kind of ice cream one block away at the Bi-Rite Market.

But, you know, then it wouldn't be an experience.

I hear you.

I walk around the mission and see all these salons that charge, like, five times what we're charging.

And people waiting, like, hella hours for an appointment.

Yes, and they're not getting any better haircuts than what you give.

It's all about hype. You know what?

I'm not gonna get a haircut anywhere else other than your shop from now on.

Um, you have a stylist.

You need to stay loyal to him.

Come on.

So, you going by "Esta Noche", tonight?

Oh, yeah.

Pay your respects.

Right, I was thinking about it, but it's gonna be super stonewally, right?

Drag queens and police in riot gear.

Oh.

In case you are, I wanted you to know, because when you asked...

If I was seeing someone.

You are.

That's cool.

What, um...

What's his name?

Brady.

Brady.

Brady.

Yeah.

Brady. Okay.

What?

No, it's very...

Anglo-Saxon.

Very... "Lord Brady."

He's got red hair.

He's a ginge?

Wow, you're dating a ginge. Huh.

Interesting.

Well, he must be super hot. 'Cause you know, with gingers, they're either hot or they're...

He's hot.

[Laughing] Okay.

Great.

Um, and we've only hung out a couple times, but I wanted you to know, in case you were thinking...

No, no, no! This was just... I... I just... I wanted to reconnect... And to see if we could be friends.

Why do we need to be? We weren't friends before?

We don't need to be, but I'd like to be.

There's nothing ulterior. Really.

I'm...

I'm actually seeing someone, too.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. It's a little weird, which is why I haven't talked about it a lot.

But, um...

Well, you remember Kevin?

Kevin? Your boss, Kevin?

Yeah. That's what's weird. The whole boss thing.

Doesn't he have a partner?

He does, which is also weird.

But, he's...

You know, they're apart a lot of the time.

So, they have an arrangement?

Oh, no, I don't...

No.

You a homewrecker, now, Patrick?

[Chuckles] No.

No, it's not like that.

No, they're having a lot of issues right now, and, um...

This kind of caught us both by surprise, so we're just... you know, we're figuring it out.

It's none of my business, but...

You don't want to be in deeper than the person you're with.

It's never good.

And if there's something bad happening between those two guys...

I'm being careful, Richie.

It's fine.

You trans?

Do I look trans?

But you're queer, right?

No, I'm gay.

Are you the new Ms. Charmenko?

I don't know who that is.

She used to work here.

He's Eddie's new boyfriend, Chloe.

Umm, no. No.

You poz, too?

Umm...

Hey, y'all. This is Agustín.

He's a friend, and he's visiting for the day, so be nice.

Umm, and we're gonna get started again, so come on, people.

Let's all sit down.

All right, everybody! Let's go. We're gonna get started again.

Chloe, sit down.

Great.

And I have an idea.

Something different.

Wouldn't it be fun if Agustín joins us in circle, today. What do you think?

[All agree, applause]

Who's Mrs. Charmenko?

Uh, Josie. She used to work in the office.

She retired.

They're looking for a replacement.

Is that something I can do?

I mean, unless there's some kind of special requirement.

Yeah. High school diploma.

The pay is shit-tay!

Well, I'm not making any money right now, so even minimum wage would be great.

It's minimum-minimum wage. Don't worry about that.

Am I too much of a coral gables princess to work at a shelter?

"A," I didn't know you were from coral gables.

And "b," it's not the shelter, man, it's the kids.

Yeah, they're trans children of the corn. I get it.

No, you don't.

They'll Facebook you, they'll call you, they'll text you all night, they won't respect your boundaries, and they'll tell you sh1t that you don't want to hear,

'cause you're not wired that way.

I mean, unless you are, then tell me.

I need a job, Eddie.

Something that won't make me hate myself and has nothing to do with art.

Are you hungry?

Yeah, I'm always hungry.

I'm, like, five pounds.

All right, good. Let's get you a bag of dicks to eat.

[Doorbell chimes]

Hi.

Hi.

Uh, come in. Come on in. Sorry.

Thanks.

Yeah.

How you doing?

Uh, good. Good to see you.

Yeah.

Is, uh, Lynn here?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's out back.

I'll show you.

Okay.

So, you doing well?

Yeah. Am I crashing something?

Nah, it should be fine.

♪ ♪

Dom!

Hey!

Hey. Missed you last night.

Yeah, I wasn't sure if, uh...

You know, I didn't think I should come over.

Well, you're here now. You wanna join us for a soak?

Plenty of room.

You sure you don't mind?

Wouldn't have asked you if I did.

Okay.

Lynn saw me in a production of "Beach Blanket Babylon" back in the day, back when it was at the Tivoli.

Matthew was a featured dancer.

Ha. Yes, yes.

We went out for a drink, afterwards.

Told him I wanted to be an actor, and he very sweetly helped me set up a showcase.

I didn't know you were into theatre producing, Lynn.

[Laughing]

What was the play again?

"Angels." At the Rhino, remember?

I was the worst Joe Pitt you ever saw.

No, you were very compelling.

Bullshit.

You were! Thank you. Yeah, okay.

I am a little dehydrated.

Does anyone want anything?

Uh, there's a nice rosé in the fridge.

Okay.

Oh God. All these people posting about "Esta Noche".

They're so right. San Francisco is so over.

Oh, relax.

Come on. You went there once, okay?

And I love it, too, but it's a shit-hole, okay?

Just admit that the real reason you're making us go is to prove something to Richie.

Fine, okay, yes.

It would be a nice gesture to...

To show him that we can still be friends, that we've evolved enough to...

Are those veggie?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, um...

What do you think about me getting a job at a homeless shelter for at-risk gay kids?

[Laughing] What?

[Text message alert]

I don't know. Are you qualified for that?

Oh, okay. My friend Eddie got me an interview, so haters can hate, and doubters can doubt.

Oh my God, I love that Eddie-bear.

He's so fun and campy.

It's like having your own personal Mrs. Madrigal.

Hey, who was that text from?

Kevin. Why?


♪ ♪

[Laughing]

Coming back.

Oh!

Thanks, daddy.

Excuse me?

Dom, be nice.

You know, for me, it's a... It's a compliment.

Well, for me, from you, it's a trigger.

So don't call me that again.

♪ Creature ♪
♪ you're my creature♪
♪ creature ♪
♪ creature ♪
♪ creature ♪
♪ you're my creature ♪

Yes.

You both topped hot Matthew from rugby?

Wait, hot Matthew from rugby is a power bottom?

Yes, he's one of you.

Well, actually, I'm coming into my own as a power top, if you want to know.

Really?

Yeah.

So, umm...

How endowed is the young man?

Size queen.

I'm curious.

I want to know.

Length, average.

Okay.

Girth, well above.

Well, all right. Good for you.

Go Lynn.

It's all Lynn.

He invited Matthew. I just happened to drop by.

Oh, was that weird?

Little bit.

The whole night was weird.

I don't know. It's like...

I'm still figuring out this whole Lynn thing.

Oh, sh1t. sh1t.

What?

Is that? Yes. Block me.

Come here, block me, block me.

Is that...

Yeah.

Is that the boyfriend?

Paddy, let's just... Let's just back up.

Come on.

Yeah.

Come on.

Can we talk?

Yeah.

Right now?

Uh-huh.

Yo.

What's up? What's happened?

I saw... f*ck. f*ck me.

At the Farmer's Market. I was there. I, uh...

I saw you with Jon.

Okay.

And you didn't want to say hello?

Are you totally f*cking insane?

Calm down, Patrick. It's all right.

No, this is so not all right.

Listen, I... I get a text from you when you're with Jon... And my heart, it... It swells, Kevin, because I think, "wow, he's actually thinking of me."

I was.

I am.

I am all the time.

Okay, fine, but you're with Jon, right?

I mean, your life is with Jon.

You wake up with him. You go to bed with him.

You talk to him on the phone every night.

And we can steal lunches, and we can steal weekends, but at the end of the day, we're stealing from your life with Jon.

And I...

I want to be the kind of person that can handle that, but I just... I can't. I can't do it anymore.

Because...

Because you saw us at the Farmer's Market?

Yes! And because... Every day, more and more I'm... I'm building this life for us, this future in my head, us together, and it's impossible.

This is gonna end with Jon hurt, or you and I hating each other, so let's just stop. Let's just rewind...

[Mutters] Stop talking.

And go back to being flirty friends, or whatever we were before...

I don't want to go back to that.

And we can work on the app and see each other at work.

No.

I will talk to Jon, okay?

Today. I will talk to him, today.

That's not what I... I will make this right.

And it will take time... To make him understand in a way that doesn't wreck him.

That will take time, but I will do it.

I know.

I'm not asking you to...

Well, you don't need to, Patrick. You don't need to ask me.

Because that life you are building for us?

I am too.

I'm not losing it.

Okay.

If you're...

Okay.

Well, well, well.

So, it's true.

The princess of coral gables somehow conned her way into a job.

Huh.

I guess somebody told somebody that I'm a good guy.

Oh, well, if it was me, you're welcome.

Okay.

You know, this first week, I'm not even supposed to answer the phone if it rings?

Guess they're waiting to see if I f*ck up.

Oh, they are.

So, maybe don't.

Okay?

Hey, uh...

What are you doing, tonight?

Nothing.

Hey, great timing.

Lock that behind you, will you?

Sure.

Let me get these in the case, then we can go.

No rush.

Matthew's fun.

Yeah. He's a good egg, right?

Should we ask him to meet us at "Esta Noche"?

He works nights, usually.

Oh, maybe he can swing by the house after work?

I'm not really in the mood for that. Are you?

If I said I was, that I really wanted to invite Matthew over, would it matter?

Well, Dom, if...

Invite him if you want to.

Everything we do is a negotiation, Lynn.

Everything's so...

Careful and... And... and... measured.

It's like...

You're withholding.

It's like you're not sure how much to invest in me...

Or us.

Is that what it feels like?

Yeah. It does.

And it makes me wonder what am I to you.

Am I Matthew? Am I more than that? Less?

Matthew's a friend.

Yeah. I got that, loud and clear.

Where do I sit in the pantheon?

I told you when we started...

I've only got so much to give.

Because it all went to Brian.

No. Not all, but he needed a lot.

So, yes, now I have my limits.

You're not Matthew.

But... What I had with Brian, I won't have with anyone else, even if I wanted to.

Too much life.

But you could...

If you wanted to.

Your place at Russian River is incredible, but it's also, like... Not a shrine, but...

No, it is...

To my and Brian's life, and I like that.

So, I should...

What? I should just box it all up?

Of course not. We'd just... We'd have something else.

You really... Won't let yourself be surprised?

I want you to have everything...

Your restaurant, what I had with Brian... 20 years with an incredible man.

And God willing, when you find that man, I hope it's more than 20 years. I hope it's for the rest of your life.

That's what I want for you, Dom.

When I find that man.

[Sighs]

What we're doing right now...

It's all I got, and I've never lied to you.

And... If that's enough? Then that's great. If it's not...

No, it's not.

And it shouldn't be for you.

Even if it's not with me, you shouldn't...

Be... done, Lynn.

[Salsa music]

You like it?

Yeah, dude. I do. Hey, Paddy, what's up, buddy?

Hey, guys.

Oh, Patrick, this is Brady.

Brady, this is Patrick.

Hey, man.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah.

We were just getting to know each other.

Not me.

Just getting beers for Dom and I. Goodbye.

So, what do you two girls do?

I cut hair.

I work at "The Weekly."

Classifieds. I also write about gay stuff.

Oh, a queer Jimmy Olsen!

See, now that I love.

How did you guys meet, anyway?

He came in for a haircut.

Stayed for the hot barber.

Oh, I got an article you could write about gringo-chasing in the community.

Yeah, right after my "gays who are gaycist" article.

Oh, really?

All right, I like you.

Can we just get out of here?

You wanna ditch our friends before peaches Christ goes on?

What's going on?

I'll tell you at home.

It's, uh, Lynn stuff.

I thought I could push through, but...

Oh, f*ck. Okay.

All right, let's go. Let's go.

You know, I wanna do that... Your kickstarter idea.

Let's do it, okay?

You're talking about the window or our movie?

I saw this one video where these two queens in Michigan open a Mexican bakery with kickstarter money.

Look at that! You see that? Dreams come true.

Told you.

Good.

I need this, Dor.

f*ck. I don't have anything else.

What the f*ck happened? What is going on?

Don't say that you have me, all right?

You have me.

And you have... you...

Up till about 10 seconds ago, I was gonna say you have Lynn, but...

Well, I didn't. I didn't ever have him.

So...

Oh, you have me.

Thank f*cking God.

So, are you writing a scathing op-ed about the early demise of "Esta Noche"?

With secrets and insights from a former door man?

I bet you have stories.

Uh, yeah. We are covering it.

I'm not writing the article.

I'm just here tonight as a human being.

So, I'm not gonna be in the article?

No. [Laughing]

Uh, excuse me for a second.

I'll watch your beer, man.

All right.

Hey.

Hey.

How'd it go?

How'd it go?

Are you okay?

I was there.

I was about to tell him, I... I... I started to tell...

Well, you didn't tell him anything about us?

Well, I... I couldn't. He has no idea!

He's moved his life to be here with me.

But you could have! You know?

'Cause now this means that you and I, we...

I know what it means.

Why did you even come here?

I don't know.

I was...

I'm sorry. It was for you, to be with you.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ no need to lie ♪
♪ this creature of pain ♪
♪ has found me again ♪
♪ so this is goodbye ♪
♪ so this is farewell ♪