04x12 - Treasure Hunt

Episode transcripts for the TV show "9-1-1". Aired: January 2018 to present.*
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Emergency response providers who put their lives at risk to save others.
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04x12 - Treasure Hunt

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♪ [BIRD SCREECHES]

Check it out!

This one's called "Artemisia californica."

[PANTING]

Sagebrush.

I liked it better when you knew the names of dolls.

Dad, I never played with dolls.

[PANTING]

FRED: Ooh!

[PANTING]

Emma?

Where'd you go?

Can you believe this?

Oh, what you got there?

Dad, look.

I think there's a note inside.

Oh.

Okay.

Oh.

- Is that blood?

- [PANTING]

Oh, boy.

Do you have a more precise location?

Uh... upstream, I think.

Tell 'em they could be up near the headwaters, Dad.

Yeah.

They could be up near the headwaters, but we can't see anything from here.

You can't see the person?

Then, what makes you think someone's trapped?

We found a message in a bottle.

PILOT: Dispatch, this is Fire Rescue One.

We are on the scene.

MADDIE: Copy that, Fire One.

Engine and Rescue are landing now.

Rangers think the bottle may have come from the headwaters

of the creek, south by southwest of your position,

near the rocks.

PILOT: Copy that, dispatch.

[DOG BARKING, SNIFFING]

[SIRENS WAILING]

, acres to search.

We could be waiting awhile.

BUCK: Are they sure someone's up there?

That bottle could have been floating around for months.

HEN: Which would mean our search and rescue might become a search and recovery.

Note was written on a receipt.

Rangers checked the date.

It was five days ago.

Sure hope it wasn't their last meal.

PILOT: We see you, Captain Nash. We're coming in now.

Copy that.

Okay, Chimney, Eddie, gear up.

You're going with them.

Copy that.

You'll harness up, we'll lower you down so you can grab him.

Cheer up.

You can go next time.

BOBBY: Okay, first quadrant is right over that ridge.

Head up to Devil's Point.

A lot of hikers get stuck up there.

CHIMNEY: Copy that, Cap.

Pretty sure there's a river, too.

It could be where they threw the bottle in.

EDDIE: I think I see something.

Help!

Please!

Down here!

Help, please!

CHIMNEY: Okay, we got him.

Let's get in a hover position right here.

CHIMNEY: Looks like severe dehydration.

He's gonna need this.

- Ready?

- Piece of cake.

PILOT: Be advised, air support gonna maintain feet.

Lowering rescuer now.

Rescuer at ten feet.

Rescuer on the ground.

I'm Eddie.

What's your name?

I'm Clyde.

There's willow trees around here, right?

'Cause if not, I'm gonna feel pretty dumb.

- You're burning up.

- [GROANS]

Drink this.

It's got electrolytes.

How long have you been up here, Clyde?

Five days, maybe?

I'm not sure.

[PAINED GROANING]

I was trying to get high enough to look around, and then I fell.

I thought I could tough it out, but I ran out of food and water.

- Yup.

Looks like you broke it.

- [GROANS]

We'll get this splint on you, and we're gonna get you out of here.

No.

No!

No, I'm fine.

Just give me some painkillers or something.

I got a couple more spots I got to check out, and I can just ride it out until I'm done here.

That's a negative, Clyde.

Chim, prep fluids.

- Our guy's gonna need it.

- Oh, man.

- Sir, let's get this on you.

- [GRUNTS]

- We're gonna ride up together.

- [GRUNTS LOUDLY]

Oh, thanks.

CHIMNEY: That's our cue.

Hold steady, Fire One.

I'm bringing him up.

All right, buddy.

We got you.

We got you.

PILOT: Dispatch, all souls on board.

Returning to base.

Careful!

He's kind of delirious.

Been out there awhile.

- [GROANS]

- Said he injured himself three days ago.

I'm fine.

I just want to know when I can get back up there.

Definitely not today.

Do you have a cell phone?

- Doesn't everyone?

- HEN: Yes.

But most people use it to call for help instead of putting a message in a bottle.

Battery d*ed yesterday.

That was two days after you injured yourself.

I didn't want to leave.

I was so close.

I didn't want anyone else to find the treasure.

It's mine!

The treasure's mine!

Don't tell anyone!

Don't let anyone take it.

It's mine!

The treasure's mine!

Did he say "treasure"?

NEWSMAN: This is Channel with breaking news.

TAYLOR: Hollis Harcourt, the author of such cult classics

as Agony in Atwater and Bludgeoned in Burbank, passed away in his sleep at age ,

leaving behind an intriguing message

to his loyal fans.

Behold. My final gift to the citizens of Los Angeles...

a rare and priceless treasure.

Though, if I had to put a price on it for tax purposes,

I'd call it about $ million.

Whoa.

Five million.

I'm gonna bury this chest

somewhere in the city of Los Angeles.

If you are clever, as I know you are,

one of you will find this chest,

and the treasure will be yours.

TAYLOR: We spoke with Harcourt's longtime assistant,

Jeremiah Ruiz, moments ago.

Hollis was... passionate.

He had high standards.

But he was a good soul.

He cared about people and their stories.

He will be missed.

TAYLOR: And he won't be forgotten.

At least not any time soon.

According to his final video,

Hollis buried that $ million treasure

somewhere in the city

that was the setting for most of his work.

A poem he recited in the video

is said to provide all the clues needed to locate it.

CHIMNEY: "I walked along the river's edge, to hide my secret treasure."

- This poem is terrible.

- BOBBY: "A heron soared, a gray bridge roared, a bullfrog croaked 'Good measure.'"

It's less of a poem,

- and more of a riddle.

- Fine.

It's a terrible riddle.

HEN: "I stopped beneath a willow tree in the narrow place.

And then I saw the light beam fall upon my treasured place."

You know, the guy on the cliff... he asked me about willow trees.

A real-life treasure hunt.

- Wouldn't it be... ?

- Dangerous.

- Reckless.

- Stupid.

- Probably not even real.

- What if it is?

How cool would it be to find it?

You know, this poem-riddle thing is getting a lot of traffic.

BOBBY: Yeah, which means our friend Clyde is likely not the last emergency we're gonna see

- from this treasure hunt.

- EDDIE: Your girlfriend's news story's probably not gonna help out with that.

She's my friend, not my girlfriend, and she's just doing her job.

Reporting the news.

- Well, tell her to stop.

- [ALARM RINGS]

We got enough work without people creating their own emergency.

Well, at least it was the midday news.

- Maybe the whole thing dies off.

- Before anyone actually dies.

I guess.

[SIGHS]

[PHONE RINGING, VIBRATING]

Uh, hey.

- I just saw you on the TV.

- And I heard a rumor you guys responded to a call about a treasure hunter

- in Malibu Creek?

- Yeah.

He didn't find anything, though.

Not that there's anything to find.

I mean, the whole thing's probably fake, right?

I'm not so sure.

Hollis's assistant confirmed he saw the treasure himself before Hollis d*ed.

I didn't see that part on TV.

He wanted to keep it off the record.

In case this thing gets crazy, he doesn't want anyone to come looking for him.

So this is real?

There's $ million out there just-just waiting to be found?

Looks like it.

You know, uh, I bet if we compared notes, we could probably figure out where he buried that treasure.

You're saying you want to team up?

Look for the treasure together?

We'd be, uh, we'd be doing a public service.

- Hmm.

- We find it

so no one else has the chance to get hurt.

Yeah.

And I mean, clearly, it's my duty to keep the city informed.

The sooner that treasure is found,

the safer the city will be.

Everybody wins.

Maybe not everybody.

My final gift to the citizens of Los Angeles...

- Nuts.

- Please tell me that's not p*rn

- or sports.

- ROMERO: This?

This is our future.

Apparently, a guy buried $ million somewhere in the city, then told people to go out and find it.

ATHENA: I miss the days when bored rich people would just name wings of museums

- and hospitals after themselves.

- [LAUGHS]

Have we had a conversation with this misguided citizen?

Yeah, that's a little hard to do.

He's been dead a week.

Did we post uniforms at his grave site?

You know, that's one of the first places people are gonna start digging.

Kevin, find out where he's buried.

Send some units.

Thanks.

[SCOFFS]

How bad do you think this is gonna get?

Ugh.

City's coming out of a near yearlong lockdown.

Everyone's still a little stir-crazy.

[CHUCKLES]

This?

This is gonna send them over the edge.

TAYLOR: The search for Hollis Harcourt's $ million

took another turn today in Topanga Canyon.

This marks the second serious injury

in the so-called treasure hunt.

With local officials reporting

that treasure hunt-related emergency calls

are climbing every day.

Where did you say the fight is?

WOMAN: Balboa Park. Send someone quick!

- It's getting pretty vicious.

- Are they armed?


Sort of.

Get ya one way or another...

- Hey, hey!

- Put the metal detectors down!

Now!

Smart man.

Can't find a treasure from inside a jail cell.

- .

What's your emergency?

- .

What's your emergency?

- .

What's your emergency?

- MAN: Hi.

Can you please send someone to Griffith Park?

The Western Avenue entrance.

There's some idiot here trying to dig under the bear statue.

- [YELLING OVER PHONE]

- What was that?

You might want to send the fire department, too.

And if the lights are all down... ♪

BOBBY: LAFD coming through.

Sir, LAFD is here.

Try to stay calm, and we'll get this statue off of you.

One way or another... ♪ - .

What's your emergency?

- .

What's your emergency?

ATHENA: Your turn, sir.

Drop it.

Or another

- ♪ I'm gonna win ya

- MAN: Cheating bastard!

I'll get ya, I'll get ya...

Not sure it's an X, but that's definitely gonna leave a mark.

BOBBY: We'll have you out in a sec, sir.

[GRUNTS]

I can't believe it wasn't here.

Well, cross Griffith bear park statue off the list.

JAMAL: Man, I really thought I was onto something.

Better luck next guess.

- Mm-hmm.

- Thank you.

The lights are all out...

TAYLOR: The latest numbers show six hospitalizations

and arrests since the treasure hunt was announced.

It's a hoax!

Listen, people, please stop rising your lives.

Uh, thank you for that perspective, ma'am.

My husband almost d*ed!

More people are gonna die!

[SIRENS WAILING]

You need to stop!

Turn that thing off!

Sir!

You cannot dig here!

- No!

Everybody back!

- Go, go, go, go.

One way or another

I'm gonna lose ya

I'm gonna give you the slip

A slip of the hip for another ♪

I'm gonna lose ya

I'm gonna trick ya, I'll trick ya ♪

I'll walk down the mall

Stand over by the wall, where I can see it all... ♪

They never call before they dig.

One way or another, I'll get ya, I'll get ya ♪

Where I can see it all, find out who ya call. ♪

EDDIE: You think it's weird that all the cases are solo acts?

No teams.

Everybody's working alone.

I guess people are greedy, don't want to share the treasure.

Maybe that's the flaw in their plan.

Two brains are better than one.

What if we worked on it together, split the $ million fifty-fifty?

Sorry, I, uh, already made a deal with Taylor.

[SIGHS]

How would you feel about -and-a-third?

Mm.

You need to give him % of your cut.

We're not splitting it three ways.

Do you really need the extra $ K that bad?

I already promised my cameraman I'd split my half with him.

So we split it four ways.

Okay?

It's still more than a million each.

And % of nothing is still nothing.

We're missing something.

EDDIE: I did some research on the whole willow tree thing.

Do you guys know there's something called an arroyo willow?

- It's not a tree.

- TAYLOR: More like a shrub.

BOTH: Hard to stop beneath it.

Okay.

I'll just be over here, then.

Thinking.

By myself.

Go team.

TAYLOR: We still have too many options.

We need more data to rule some of these out.

Well, I think we know a guy.

[ALARM RINGS]

[GROANS]

I wonder how many dumb treasure hunt calls

- we're gonna get today.

- I know.

It's been crazy, right?

I think we had four yesterday.

Uh, oh, yeah?

[SIGHS]

What were they?

Oh.

Well, you know, there's a homeless guy...

[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

CHIMNEY: Feel that, Hen?

Oh, I feel a definite chill.

We've been left out in the cold.

I think it's time we show them how it's done.

JAMAL: No, sir, the paramedics are on their way to you now.

- It's not at the observatory.

- Oh...

Who thought that was a good idea?

- MAN: Not it!

- LINDA: Hollis's fifth book, Stabbed Beneath the Stars.

The m*rder takes place at the observatory.

.

What's your emergency?

MAN: There's ants everywhere!

I'm sorry, did you say "ants"?

[SIRENS WAILING]

[HORN HONKS]

[GASPING]

- [SHOUTING]

- Fire ants.

Looks like he stepped into a whole colony.

- Let's hope he's not allergic.

- Or a good guesser.

Two sections of inch-and-three-quarter line with a narrow fog.

Should be enough for us to knock those ants right off.

- We'll make a water curtain.

- [SHOUTING]

psi!

[WATER RUSHING]

[MAN SHOUTING]

Okay, get in there.

[GRUNTING]

You've got to stay still.

Try to stay still.

HEN: Checking airway for swelling.

Bilateral breath sounds are clear and undiminished.

No stridor noted.

Pushing fluids, of diphenhydramine, with some epi and solumedrol

- to mitigate this venom reaction.

- [SHOUTING]

- CHIMNEY: Try to stay still.

- And five of morphine for the pain.

BOBBY: All right, let's load him up.

[INSECT BUZZING]

Wonder what made him want to dig out here.

Guess you'll never know.

Yeah.

What did make you think to dig out here?

[GROANS WEAKLY]

OFFICER: All right, this way, up the hall.

- MAN: Could we leave yet?

- MAN : Hey, you know what?

I know my rights.

It's called the Constitution.

STAFFORD: Hey, Athena.

Picked this one up at the Melrose Trading Post, trying to steal a chest from one of the street vendors.

It was a misunderstanding.

That looked just like the one on the video.

The markings are very distinctive.

Yeah, she was also arrested three days ago at the Beaumont Flea Market... similar misunderstanding.

Maybe not that distinctive.

MAN: The Manson Tunnel.

You gotta look in the Manson Tunnel.

For a buried treasure?

What treasure?

OFFICER: Okay, time to go.

Let's chat about what's in the Manson Tunnel.

Okay, let's book her and hope she doesn't make bail by Saturday.

I hear Antiques Roadshow is gonna be in Pasadena.

I'd hate for there to be another misunderstanding.

STAFFORD: Copy that.

Bobby?

BOBBY: Oh, hey, I, uh, I'm just making some breakfast.

Oh, sounds great.

Did you have as crazy a shift as I did?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Super crazy.

[LAUGHS]

I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of these treasure-hunting fools.

[CLATTERING]

What was that?

Uh, it's just a project that I'm working on.

You want some French toast?

I'm gonna make you some French toast.

♪ A-Athena, you want some... you want some coffee?

How about some, uh... you want some eggs?

[SIGHS]: Oh, God.

Not you, too.

So, these are the woods, parks around L.A.

where you find creeks or rivers.

The red pins, that's where you find willow trees.

Now, the white pins are where you find herons.

The green, bullfrogs.

I'm not sure what the "gray bridge roared" means yet.

- I think it might be a metaphor.

- This is very...

- thorough.

- And I'm making some headway.

I think the treasure is here in Solstice Canyon.

- There is a creek...

- Arrested someone there this morning.

- Uh...

- No treasure.

Damn.

I thought I was really onto something there.

Guess I'm gonna have to recalibrate.

I think I do, too.

Where did this come from?

What, the whiteboard?

I picked it up at the store

- on the way home.

- No.

[LAUGHS]

I mean this sudden desire to go searching for hidden treasure.

I don't know.

I just, I saw other people looking for it...

and, I mean, it's $ million... and I figured, where's the harm?

It's no different than playing the lottery, right?

No one ever ended up in the ICU buying a lottery ticket.

There was that one incident where the two peo...

Okay.

Doesn't matter.

I'm not gonna go doing anything reckless.

I'm not gonna go scaling cliffs or dig around gas mains.

- This is just dreaming.

- About the money.

What would we do with it?

I thought if I found it, I would surprise you with trust funds for the kids, a new kitchen, maybe even a whole new house.

I thought we could take that honeymoon we never had, see the world.

- Hmm.

- Hell...

we could even decide to retire.

Retire?

- I thought you loved your job.

- I do.

But jobs like ours, nobody does them forever.

Eventually you hang it up and go fishing.

Not me.

I mean, you can have your fishing cabin or whatever at Lake Arrowhead.

We can go up on the weekends.

But I plan to be out on those streets, until they force me off them.

Somebody almost did.

You nearly d*ed last year, Athena.

I know you don't like to talk about it, but it was a really close call.

And most people would have at least thought about quitting.

Retiring.

[SIGHS]: I did.

Elaine brought it up.

She wanted me to seriously consider it, so I did.

And I decided not to.

You never told me that.

Well, I didn't see the point.

The decision was already made.

I mean, what was there to say?

[CHUCKLES]

[ATHENA EXHALES]

So, what was that about that French toast?

I see you've requested the Willow Tree Suite.

I think the two of you will enjoy it.

You and your, uh... ?

Oh, uh, boyfriend.

- For now.

- Oh.

Actually, you know, just between us...

I really think this could be the weekend.

Like the weekend, you know?

I mean, just one last score.

I...

I mean, your romantic setting is, uh...

- I think he'll finally be ready.

- Love it.

I'll send champagne up to the room,

- set the mood.

- [CHUCKLES]

And where is the lucky fella?

He's just outside.

Yeah.

Just, you know, getting our stuff from the car.

Uh, so, um...

"River's Edge." You guys getting a lot of business lately, or... ?

Actually, it's been, uh, pretty good.

Hey.

Why you looking over there?

Willow Tree Suite's that way.

Wasn't over there, babe.

Trust me, I got a nose for this kind of thing.

I do trust you.

- Hey, babe?

- Yeah, babe?

Look, you know I love our adventures, right?

Uh-huh.

I was thinking...

like, if we do find this five mil, maybe we could call it quits on the schemes.

Check it out!

The ground here is super soft.

- I bet somebody just dug it up.

- Yeah.

Okay, the grass does not look dug-up.

Baby, they're hiding treasure.

It wouldn't look dug-up.

- Okay.

- [CHUCKLES]

There is definitely something down here.

PERCY: Hey!

- Get away from there!

- [RICHIE SIGHS]

Hey, okay, uh, keep digging.

I'll hold him off.

- KEISHA: Digging?

- PERCY: What are you doing?

- Digging on my property?

- Sir...

You can't dig there!

- [RUMBLING, CRACKLING]

- Baby?

[SCREAMS]

Ah, man.

Oh!

What is that smell?

[SIREN WAILING]

Septic t*nk.

Roof rusted through.

Woman's been stuck down there for seven minutes.

A t*nk like that is likely full of methane.

We're gonna need some breathable air.

Let's get on it.

What's the name of the woman down there?

- Keisha.

She just fell in.

- Okay, gentlemen, this ground could still give way.

I'm gonna need you to step back.

We don't want you falling in, too.

Keisha, just sit tight.

We're gonna get you out of there.

Not exactly going anywhere.

What were you doing out here?

[CHUCKLES]: Duh.

Digging up the treasure.

- What treasure?

- River's Edge B&B?

Willow Tree Suite?

Of course it's here.

It is here, right?

'Cause...

otherwise, she's gonna k*ll me.

CHIMNEY: Okay, Keisha.

I'm gonna lower a mask to you, and I need you to put it on.

Can you do that?

Okay, here it comes.

She's already showing signs of hypoxia, Cap.

We got to get her out of there before she has permanent neurological damage.

BOBBY: Okay.

Eddie, I want you to extend the aerial ladder over the hole.

We'll lower Buck down.

He'll pull her out.

Oh, wait.

Why me?

I did say you could go next time.

Not the same, man.

BOBBY: That's good.

Nice and slow.

Keep it coming.

Okay, about five more feet, Eddie.

Doing okay, Buck?

Well, I'm not looking forward to this next part.

All right, Keisha, let's get you out of here.

- [KEISHA GRUNTING]

- Keisha!

She's drowning.

She's gone under!

I can't see her!

- Get me down there now!

- Eddie, drop him, drop him.

Wh-What's happening?

BUCK: Keisha!

Keisha.

Keisha.

- I got you.

- [COUGHING]

You're okay.

You're okay.

I got her!

- [WHIMPERING]

- We'll get you out.

Okay.

Guys, get us out of here!

Okay, bring 'em up.

[KEISHA COUGHING]

BUCK: I got her.

I got her.

[COUGHS]

Sorry we couldn't find the five mil, babe.

I don't need the money.

I just need you.

So whatever you're waiting for, you don't have to wait anymore.

My answer is yes.

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, yes what?

Yes, I will marry you.

We can settle down and start a whole new adventure as a family.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Babe, uh...

I thought you knew.

- I am married.

- What?!

You're my adventure.

[CHUCKLES]

J-Just on the side.

[SIREN WAILING]

Uh, she wanted some space.

[CHUCKLES]

- [SNIFFING]

- [SIREN WAILING]

Oof.

Whew!

Come on.

[SIREN WAILS]

Got a call from the alarm company

- about a break-in?

- They called me, too.

Jeremiah.

I was Mr.

Harcourt's personal assistant.

The door was like that when I got here.

I haven't touched a thing.

I figured it was probably some treasure hunters

- looking for clues.

- Okay.

- Stay here.

- Okay.

This is LAPD.

The door's open.

I'm coming in.

♪ [DRAWER OPENS]

[PAPERS RUSTLING]

[DRAWER CLOSES]

LAPD.

Get up slowly.

Hands in the air.

What are you doing in my house?

ATHENA: Hollis Harcourt?

Looking mighty good for a dead man.

JEREMIAH: You're alive?

I'm gonna k*ll you!

Ah.

I have not known this man for long, but I'm confident he's not worth it.

You're such an ass.

What happened to, "He had such a good soul"?

- And who changed my alarm code?

- JEREMIAH: Oh, I don't know.

Maybe the person who's not supposed to be dead?

And who was conveniently left out of the will?

Speaking of that, Mr. Harcourt, I think you and I need to have a conversation about your unexpected return to the land of the living.

JEREMIAH: years of working for a solipsistic narcissist...

HOLLIS: Don't let the thesaurus hit you on the way out!

Sorry for dragging you over here for nothing, Sergeant, but as you can see, there's been no break-in.

Just a simple misunderstanding.

I think your work here is done.

Or perhaps it's just beginning.

Fraud.

Filing a false report.

Forging a death certificate.

All crimes, Mr. Harcourt.

And you would be right to arrest me if I had done even one of those things.

[WHISPERS]: But I didn't.

Simply had my lawyer have my publicist release a statement, and voilà.

Cue the heartfelt tributes and outpourings of emotion.

I'm feeling some kind of emotions myself right now.

And your ridiculous treasure hunt has the city completely off the rails.

Isn't it great?


Confirms everything I ever thought about this town.

Full of selfish, greedy morons.

Well, those morons are dropping like flies.

- You need to call this whole thing off.

- I can't.

I need to find out how it ends.

You buried it.

Pretty sure you know how it ends.

Not the hunt.

[WHISPERS]: The book.

Gutted in Glendale.

It's my next novel.

I've been working on it for two years.

Huge advance.

- [POURS DRINK]

- Already sold the movie rights.

Tom Hanks wants to star.

He loves these, uh, blood and treasure stories.

Mine is gonna be like The Da Vinci Code, only bigger.

Just one problem.

I don't know how it ends.

So you buried the treasure...

To find my ending.

I've blown the last three deadlines, and, uh, people have started asking some very uncomfortable questions.

Saying a lot of very ugly words, like...

"refund." Ugh.

And "lawsuit."

But I am so close.

I can feel it.

I'm gonna find my ending.

I just need a little more time.

So maybe you keep the news that I'm not dead between the two of us.

- I could just sneak back out and...

- The alarm call went out over the radio, so I'm probably gonna run into some curious reporters back at the station.

And what are you gonna tell them?

The truth.

BUCK: Wait.

- We were his research?

- [HEN CHUCKLES]

More like his lab rats.

Running around in his little treasure hunt simulation.

BOBBY: Which is exactly what he wanted.

Every emergency on the news was a new chapter for his book.

The idea is surprisingly diabolical for Hollis Harcourt.

Have you ever read any of his books?

Well, if we were his research, we should all get paid.

- [CHUCKLES]

- He tell Athena where the treasure's at?

BOBBY: No.

If there even is a treasure.

Hollis never had to actually plant one to get what he wanted.

He just needed to say that he did.

And since we now officially know that he's a liar...

It's time to give up.

Right?

No more treasure hunt.

[SIGHS]

["ATLAS HANDS" BY BENJAMIN FRANCIS LEFTWICH PLAYING]

Take me to the docks

There is a ship without a name there, and it is... ♪

TAYLOR: [SIGHS]

I can't believe I fell for it.


[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I feel like an idiot.

Come on, we, uh, we all got fooled.

Yeah, but I should've known better.

- Mm.

- I'm a trained journalist.

- [CHUCKLES]

- Or, at least, I was.

Before I got caught up in this dumb treasure hunt.

[SIGHS]

What was I thinking?

Think of it as a... a big adventure.

Uh...

But you got to sleep in your own bed every night.

TAYLOR: Huh.

We were so close.

Yeah, we were.

And then that selfish, lazy bastard ruined everything.

Actually, that's not fair.

He wasn't completely lazy.

You know, he did like to jog.

But I can still hate him, right?

Right?

- [DOOR OPENS]

- [SIGHS]

Hey.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, we could always rent a cabin now and then.

[CHUCKLES]

For vacation.

- Mm-hmm.

- [CHUCKLES]

Do you even know how to fish?

I am from Minnesota.

Well, I take that as a yes.

Hmm.

"I walked along the river's edge "to hide my secret treasure.

"A heron soared, a gray bridge roared, a bullfrog croaked, 'Good measure.'" This is terrible.

- No, it's awful.

- [CHUCKLES]

He's not much of a poet.

Or even a writer, I guess.

"I stopped beneath a willow tree "in the narrow place.

"And then I saw a light beam fall upon my treasured place." The narrow place.

I was never able to figure that part out.

I searched his novels.

Couldn't find a reference.

Not sure what I missed.

You're missing a book.

Yeah, Hollis's unpublished book.

Gutted in Glendale.

- Hmm.

- Hmm.

♪ - Bobby?

- Yeah.

I think I know where the treasure is.

ATHENA: The Glendale Narrows.

That's what they call this part of the river.

Wait.

You mean this concrete channel with water in it?

I keep telling everybody, this is not a river.

Which is exactly why no one else ever thought of it.

All of you adventurers thinking you had to trek up into the mountains.

Never occurred to you to look right here in the city.

Home of herons.

And bullfrogs.

And a gray bridge roaring.

Right there.

[CHUCKLES]

Bit on the nose for a metaphor.

Well, Hollis isn't really a poet.

Or a trustworthy person.

HEN: He's not the only one.

Uh, seriously?

Well, so much for giving up.

I cannot believe you guys.

We agreed we'd all stop looking.

And yet here we all are.

Did you two really bring your gear?

EDDIE: Wasn't sure what the terrain would be like.

Wanted to be ready.

- [SCOFFS]

- Hey.

They brought their med kits.

This treasure hunt has been nothing but medical rescues and injuries.

[CHUCKLES]

I was not about to be one of them.

So, what tipped it off for you guys?

Hollis's yet-to-be-released novel, Gutted in Glendale.

And then the part in the poem about a narrow place.

Put it together...

- Glendale Narrows.

- It was the river for us.

Uh, Taylor said Hollis used to jog here.

My wife wrote an algorithm that detects changes in satellite images.

Okay, well, what do we do now?

Six of us, one treasure.

- Technically, Bobby and I pulled up first.

- Whoa.

HEN: Because you elected to keep the name of Hollis's unpublished novel to yourself.

I didn't know it was important.

- [CHUCKLES]

- Also, pretty sure this is the first time any of us are hearing about an algorithm.

Okay, guys, look, it's $ million.

So we split it five ways.

Seven.

We have a preexisting deal with Taylor

- and her... cameraman.

- [SIGHS]

The cameraman with no name gets a cut?

- No, no, no.

- HEN: I really don't think that anyone who isn't physically here should get a cut.

[HELICOPTER WHIRRING OVERHEAD]

BUCK: Uh, sh-she already knew where we were going.

[SCOFFS]

Okay, fine, look, we-we split it seven ways.

I don't know the exact math,

- but that's enough.

- Uh, it's, uh, $ , .

.

cents.

I don't know what to do with the point-four.

You-you can keep ours.

We found the treasure.

So let's go enjoy it.

Together.

Come on.

ATHENA: It's got to be buried on one of those little islands, the sandbars.

I see some willow trees.

But how will we know which one it is?

There's supposed to be a marker.

"H" marks the spot.

Or maybe we'll find someone else already there, b*ating us to it.

- Is that Probie?

- Guys!

I found it!

What's five million divided by eight?

I'm not doing any more math.

Ravi, why don't you do the honors since you were here first?

Pretty sure we would've been here first were it not for the extended round of negotiations.

RAVI: Wasn't as heavy as I thought.

I'm guessing it's just a check, not the actual jewels.

I mean, who would be dumb enough to do that?

Right?

♪ - You have got to be kidding me.

- CHIMNEY: What?

ATHENA: I think we need to have a word with Mr. Harcourt.

ATHENA: Gate's already open.

Never a good sign.

Front door is open, too.

ATHENA: I'm gonna go in and check it out.

You all wait here.

You are not going in there alone.

We're going in with you, Athena.

Do any of you have a badge?

And a g*n?

I didn't think so.

Wait here.

♪ Guess he found his ending.

RAVI: Oh, my God.

Is he... dead?

Most likely m*rder*d.

Didn't I say to wait outside?

Why do you people never listen?

[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]

So that we could be your alibi?

[SIRENS APPROACHING]

MAN: This is News with breaking news.

This is Taylor Kelly reporting from outside Hollis Harcourt's mansion, where, in a twist worthy of one of his novels, the famed author has been found dead.

Again.

So, you all found an empty treasure chest, drove down here like an angry mob to confront him, now he's dead.

But these facts are unrelated to each other?

Rick, he was dead when we got here.

- We didn't k*ll him.

- We just wanted to.

Buck.

- You're new.

- Yeah.

I'm not really with them.

Uh, I barely know these people, so...

- STAFFORD: Detective.

- Yeah.

We got the security footage.

Wasn't them.

I didn't actually think it was.

I was just...

- I was just doing my job.

- Mm-hmm.

And maybe enjoying the moment a little.

Take a look at this.

She's wearing a Zip Parcel uniform, but that is not one of their trucks.

CHIMNEY: Delivery driver?

This time of night?

HEN: Is she pregnant?

She is.

Where have I seen her before?

My husband almost d*ed!

More people are gonna die!

ROMERO: And you knew he had to be stopped, so maybe you took matters into your own hands.

I didn't k*ll him.

Yeah.

Been hearing that a lot tonight.

But you went there in disguise, under false pretenses.

Doesn't look good.

- He was a horrible person.

- But you didn't k*ll him?

You're not really delivering anything.

Where did you get the outfit?

From my husband.

My sweet, kind, normally level-headed husband.

- [EXHALES]

- Who almost lost his life because of your ridiculous treasure hunt.

If you're surprised that your husband is a greedy, reckless man, then maybe the truth is you didn't know him as well as you thought.

So... you're welcome.

[SCOFFS]

He's not greedy.

He wanted the money for his family.

We have a baby on the way, and now he can't work.

He might not be able to do his job ever again thanks to you.

And?

You need to fix this.

Make it right.

Oh, oh, I see.

Okay, this is a-a shakedown.

Got it.

Um, who should I make the check out to?

How about, uh, "Mrs. Take Your Sob Story And Empty Envelope Somewhere Else"?

Because I don't care.

- Don't you touch me!

- No!

Oh!

[GASPS]

Oh, my God.

[STAMMERS]

That's a...

that's a crystal vase!

It's valuable!

So's my husband!

Not to me.

Stop it!

What are you doing?!

Stop it!

What are you do...

I'm calling the...

- [SHATTERING]

- [GROANING]

- Oh, God.

Are you okay?

- [GROANING CONTINUES]

DISPATCHER: .

What's your emergency?


- [GASPING]

- This is .

Is anyone there?


Hello?

Can you hear me?

Is anyone there?


Hello?

[WHISPERS]: Help.

If you're there, press a button.

Why didn't you say anything?

You don't know that.

Maybe it was just a bad connection.

[SCOFFS]

[SIGHS]

- [DOOR CLOSES]

- She's not wrong.

She didn't technically k*ll him.

The M.E. talked to his doctors.

He had a heart condition.

Hollis let her into the house.

So, no breaking and entering charges.

She just let him die.

And the DA isn't gonna want to touch this with a ten-foot pole.

Everyone just wants this whole thing to go away.

I know I do.

[HONKING IN DISTANCE]

But what do you think happened to the money?

Buck, there was no money.

Hollis was just yanking everyone's chain.

BOBBY: The whole city.

And all of us.

But why bury an empty chest?

I mean, why bury anything at all?

You don't think the probie double-crossed us, do you?

At this point, I don't trust anyone.

[EXHALES]

I mean, aside from you guys, obviously.

- Everyone else, they suck.

- TAYLOR: Huh.

Especially that assistant.

Jeremiah.

You know, he swore to me he'd seen the treasure with his own eyes.

Guess he was in on the con this whole time.

No.

He was just as surprised as I was that Hollis was alive.

JEREMIAH: You're alive?

- I'm gonna k*ll you!

- ATHENA: Uh...

What are you thinking?

Hollis didn't bury an empty chest.

Hollis didn't bury anything.

Hollis wasn't the type to get his hands dirty.

You're the only one I trust.

You have to do this for me.

You just told me you're dying, and now you want me to wade into the L.A. River and bury $ million?

I need a minute.

Jeremiah, I don't think I have many minutes left.

Snap your finger and I'll... ♪

ATHENA: So it was left up to Jeremiah,

his loyal assistant, to do the dirty work.

Who he conveniently left out of his fake will.

He had a fake will for his fake death?

And still didn't put his assistant in it?

That guy was a real piece of work.

ATHENA: Hollis spent his life

writing about the worst aspects of human nature.

HOLLIS: Confirms everything I ever thought about this town.

Full of selfish, greedy morons.

ATHENA: And, still, he failed to remember

that sometimes, when you push people too far...

I'll do anything for you

... they snap.

I'm your puppet.

He left yesterday.

Chartered a plane to the Maldives.

No extradition treaty.

Do we even know if he committed a crime?

Yeah.

What else would you call it?

A severance package.

[LAUGHING]

TAYLOR: Yeah.

But I really think...

Okay.

Yeah, forget I asked.

I'm guessing no trip to the Maldives?

They think "there was never a treasure" is a better story.

They want me to leave it there.

Ah.

I feel like they don't know you very well.

Mm.

And you think you do?

You know, I'm starting to.

I also happen to think that, me and you, we, uh...

we make a pretty good team.

Buck, we didn't find the treasure and you ended up being questioned by the police.

- [CHUCKLES]

- For the second time.

Yeah, but, uh, the rest of it...

It was fun.

I'm glad we're friends.

[QUIETLY]: Friends.

[CLAPS SOFTLY]

Great.
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