04x23 - A Room At the Top

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Brady Bunch". Aired: September 1969 to March 1974.*
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A woman with three daughters marries a widower with three sons.
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04x23 - A Room At the Top

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

What were you doing
back at high school today?

It was a college semester break.

I figured I'd drop by and see

how some of my old
buddies were getting along.

So, what's it like in college?

Out of sight.

Yeah? Really different?

Like night and day. Good. Good.

Beep-beep-beep, beep, beep!

Beep-beep-beep-beep, beep!

Thank you.

Bobby, we're having a talk.

It's okay. You won't bother me.

It'll bother me.

Go watch TV someplace else, huh?

Greg, this room
is for all of us.

That's why they
call it a family room.

Get it?

Hey, let's go up
to my room, Hank.

Maybe we can get
some privacy up there.

Hey, Hank, why don't you tell me

about the girls in college?

Oh, they're a whole
different animal...

And I do mean animals.

Yeah, sounds like a real zoo.

Ah, something else.

They're sophisticated.

They're real women, not like
the kids back in high school.

I think I got the picture.

Hey, hang that up.

Pete, this is a
private conversation.

About girls?

Could you go read
someplace else?

Sure I could, but I'd rather
stay and listen and learn.

Pete, I'd like a little privacy.

Why should I leave my own room?

You want privacy,
go in the garage.

Greg, why don't you come
on over to my apartment?

We can have all the
privacy we want there.

Yeah. Good idea, Hank.

Have a nice time.

Why don't you pick up your robe?

A whole apartment to yourself.

That's really something.

That's one of the great
things about going to college.

You're on your own.

You can have friends
over whenever you want.

You come and you
go whenever you want.

Nobody around to bug you.

Man, I can't wait for that.

I got an idea.

I'm looking for a guy
to share expenses with.

You mean move in with you?

Sure, if you're
interested. Am I!

You think your mom
and dad will let you?

I don't know why not.

One more term, I'll
be going to college

and moving out anyway.

I'm sure I can convince them.

Great. Beep, beep!

You got yourself
a roommate, Hank.

I'm moving out.

I have heard of
warped tennis racquets,

but this is ridiculous.

I think that had better
go in the junk pile, Alice.

I don't think it'd get very much

at the charity bazaar.

The bazaar is really
going to clean out this attic.

Well, I think we should
just make a clean sweep.

Either it goes to the
bazaar or the junkyard.

Carol?

We're up here, honey!

What are you doing?

We're getting things together
for that sale I told you about.

Oh.

What are you
going to get rid of?

Everything... if it isn't
nailed down, it goes.

Aw.

Oh, you remember these,

from that old costume party?

Oh, yeah.

♪ Every little breeze
seems to whisper "Louise" ♪

♪ Birds in the trees
seem to twitter "Louise" ♪

♪ Oh-ho-ho-ho ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Love you ♪

Oh, that is great, Mike. Yeah.

Except I didn't know
Humphrey Bogart could sing.

Thank you.

You're really gonna get
rid of all of our memories?

No, the memories we'll keep,

it's just the junk
we're gonna get rid of.

Could you change your
clothes and give us a hand?

Okay, but my heart ain't in it.

It ain't your heart
we need, Mr. Brady,

it's your muscles.

Okay, back in a flash.

Dad, can I see you for a minute?

Sure, come on in.

What's up?

You know Hank Carter, don't you?

Uh, yes, I do.

You think he's a nice guy?

Very nice.

Hank started college this year.

Oh, he did?

You know his parents,
Mr. And Mrs. Carter.

Don't you think they're
nice people, too?

Very nice indeed.

Well, I've got a
terrific opportunity

with a nice guy like Hank
who has such nice parents.

Oh, yeah? What
opportunity is that?

Like you once told me,

always take advantage
of a good opportunity.

What opportunity?

Well, Hank's got
his own apartment,

and he's looking for someone
to share the expenses

and it's only going to cost me

half the food
and half the rent...

I'm sorry, Greg.
The answer's no.

Dad, I haven't even
asked the question yet.

Yeah, well, I heard you
coming through loud and clear.

Dad, I'll probably be
moving out next year

when I go to college anyway.

I'll already have
a place to stay.

Yeah, but that's next year.

I really need the privacy.

A guy my age needs
a room of his own.

I got Peter and Bobby
in my hair all the time.

Greg, I understand
what you're saying

and I agree with
you... Believe me, I do...

But the point is that Hank
didn't move away from home

till he went to college.

Let's wait till
you go to college.

Dad, living in there
with Peter and Bobby

is like a jail sentence.

Well, you could look
on the bright side of it.

In a few short months, you'll
be paroled for good behavior.

Now, everything that
goes to the charity bazaar

goes into the station wagon

and everything
else gets thrown out.

Okay, troops, start moving out.

♪ Ta-da-da-da, da-da! ♪

Charge!

Wow! Whose was this?

It's mine.

Yours?

You must have
really been a chubby.

I was. I was eight
months pregnant with you!

Come on.

Now, be careful going
down the stairs, okay?

Okay.

Now, where did you get these?

Oh, I think they're Mr. Brady's.

Oh, I used those
several years ago

on that construction
job up in Maine.

Well, I think they can go.

The moths seem to have opened
up two or three extra trapdoors.

Okay, Alice.

Greg, give me a hand
with this chest, will you?

Sure. Honey, take
my rubber duck, huh?

Okay.

Okay.

Ah, that's what I
was waiting for.

Yeah. Thank you.

Whoops!

There.

Thank you.

Marcia, honey, I think you'd
better stop daydreaming.

We got a lot of work to do.

Hey, Mom, I was thinking.

Once the attic gets cleaned out,

it would make a
great extra room.

Yeah, I guess it would.

Could I use it?

I really want a room of my own.

Oh, but, Marcia, the
walls aren't finished,

the floors are a mess...

Well, I could put
posters up on the wall,

and that big rug that we
used to have in the den...

Oh, but, honey...
Oh, please, Mom?

When a girl gets to be my age,

she really needs
a room of her own.

But wouldn't you feel all
alone up here by yourself?

But that's the whole point.

I'd have privacy.

Please, Mom. Can I?

Well, if that's what
you really want.

Oh, great. Thanks, Mom.

Now that it's empty, I think
it'd make a good room for me.

Look, I'd still be at home
and on my own, too.

Hmm. That's not a bad idea.

Yeah, Peter and Bobby
would have more room, too.

Right. It'd be
great for all of us.

Right. So I can have the attic?

I don't see any reason why not.

Thanks, Dad. This is
going to work out great.

What's gonna work out great?

Oh, hey, listen.

I got something
I want to tell you.

What?

Um, first you better
put down the boxes.

Look, I want you to know
this is nothing personal.

We've always been great pals,
and I want it to stay that way.

What do you want to tell us?

I don't want this to upset you.

What is it?

Well... I'm gonna be

moving out of our
room up to the attic.

They're really
broken up about that.

Wow, isn't this gonna be great?

Terrific. Marvelous.

Well, isn't it exciting?

Marcia... hooray.

Jan, what's wrong with you?

Well... I'll tell you.

We'll miss you.

I'll give you my half of the
closet if you won't move out.

Look, I'm gonna miss you,
too, but I'm only one flight up.

You can come up
any time you want.

You mean you won't mind?

Of course not.

I'm not trying
to get rid of you.

If we come up here
enough of the time,

it'll be like the three of
us moved into the attic.

Uh, just drop that over there.

I didn't mean drop it.

I meant, uh... put it down.

You said drop it.

Isn't that what he said?

That's what he said.

Greg, can we go now?

We've got a lot of our own
stuff to move, too, you know.

Okay. Go ahead.

Wait a minute, you guys.

I thought you said the
whole attic was cleaned out.

It was.

Then how'd this
stuff get in here?

Search me.

I wonder how
that stuff got there.

Hi.

Hi.

What's the typewriter for?

For typing.

What's in all those boxes?

Books.

Thanks.

Come up any night
you want and read them.

It's very large of you to
invite me up to my room.

Your room?

This is my room.

Quit kidding.

Mom promised it to me.

Dad promised it to me.

But this is my room.

That's your opinion.

You bet it's my opinion.

This is my room
and I'm not budging.

Well, I say it's my room,

and I'm not budging.

Well, now, you can't
sit there like that forever.

Somebody's going to
have to give up the attic.

I'm sorry, Marcia.

I should've checked
with your father first.

And I should've checked
with your mother, but still...

Well, I've got it
all planned out.

Now, I'm going to
put a bed right here

and I'm going to have a
desk beside the window

and I've got some
lovely curtains

picked out for the window, too.

Well, I've got it
planned out, too.

My bed's going to go over here
and my desk is going to go here.

I think I'll put shutters
on the window.

Besides, I'm older. So what?

So I should have the room.

Hold it, hold it.
You're not going

to solve anything
by arguing. Right.

Well, then who gets the attic?

Well, I think there's only
one way that's fair and logical.

What?

Greg is a year older, he's going

to be going away
to college next year.

It should be Greg's now. Dad!

Gee, I think that's fair.

Not to me! Mother...

Marcia, I have to
agree with your father.

Look, next year the
room'll be yours anyway.

Right, honey, and then
after you comes Peter

and then Jan and all the rest.

That way it's fair to everybody.

Except to me.

Why should I be penalized

for being born a year too late?

I'm sick and tired of
being second around here.

Don't say a word.

Mike, If I weren't on
that bazaar committee,

I think I'd skip
going out tonight.

Oh, yeah? Why?

Marcia's so upset
about not getting the attic,

I just have a funny feeling

she and Greg are going
to have a big blowup.

Oh, honey, she's adult
enough to accept our decision.

Believe me, everything's
going to be fine.

Marcia?

Go away.

Marcia?

I said, go away.

Not until I see you.

Okay... you've seen
me. Now go away.

Marcia... I just wanted
to give you this album.

You left it in the attic.

You're all heart.

Look, I know how you
feel, and I can't blame you,

but I honestly think Mom and
Dad made the fair decision.

I'll bet you do... You've
got the room and I don't.

And I need it more than you do.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, a girl needs more space.

There's never any room
in my closet or my drawers,

and I can't even use my
hair dryer when I want to.

Look, it's just as crowded
for me with the guys.

Besides, I wanted to have
a slumber party this night

and invite six of
my friends over

in my own attic room.

Hey, great. I've got some
new pajamas I could wear.

Go ahead and make jokes!

See if I care.

Hey, wait a minute.

I didn't mean to make you cry.

I didn't realize the room
meant that much to you.

Well, it does.


Hey, Marcia, uh...

you know, I'll probably be
leaving soon for college...

why don't you take the room?

You're just saying that

'cause I'm sitting here
blubbering like an idiot.

No. No, I want you to have it.

It's got nothing to do

with you're being
a blubbering idiot.

Honest?

Honest.

Thanks, Greg.

You're the greatest
brother a girl ever had.

Well, Greg's all moved in.

Now we can start
moving our stuff around.

In our own room.

Yeah, tomorrow.

I'm all pooped out.

Uh, hey, you guys.

I got to talk to you.

Greg, your bed in the
attic's gonna be great.

Yeah, we got all your
junk up there now.

Thanks. Now you can help
me haul it back into our room.

Our room?

Our room.

He must have banged
his head on a rafter.

Marcia's getting the attic.

Marcia? Mom and
Dad gave it to you.

I know, and I gave it to Marcia.

What's going on around here?

I'll tell you what's
going on around here.

You two guys are
going to help me

move my stuff back to our room.

That's what's going
on around here.

That's Greg's
mattress, isn't it?

Yeah. We're moving
Greg out of the attic.

Oh?

Whoa!

I thought you just moved him in.

That's right.

What's going on around here?

I'll tell you what's
going on around here.

Marcia's moving in
and Greg's moving out

and we're doing all the work.

That's what's going
on around here.

That's good.

Boy, am I b*at.

Greg can move the rest
of his stuff down himself.

Yeah. I wonder why
he chickened out

and let Marcia have the attic.

Well, Marcia probably
pulled all that mushy

girl stuff on him.

"Oh, Greg..." please
give me the attic.

Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!"

All I know is,
we've got him back.

Hey, maybe if we talk to Greg,

we can get him to
change his mind.

No way.

How about talking to Marcia?

Why should she quit
while she's ahead?

What could we
possibly say to her?

Well... for one thing,
we could tell her

how rough it is climbing
up and down the stairs.

We ought to know.

Hey, yeah! The stairs!

You know something?

For a little guy,

you just came
up with a big idea.

Oh!

Marcia, telephone for you.

Okay, coming.

Who is it?

Your girlfriend Susie.

Thanks.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

That's funny.

She hung up.

Well, it couldn't have
been too important.

I guess not.

Thanks, Charlie.

Marcia? Yeah?

Phone for you.

Again?

Yeah.

Who is it?

Your friend Katie.

Oh, good. Thanks.

Hello, Katie?

Hello?

Hello?

She hung up, too.

Can't anybody wait till
you get to the phone?

It's so annoying.

Oh, I bet it's annoying.

Marcia? Yeah?

Telephone again.

Oh, no.

Who is it this time?

Linda.

Hello, Linda?

Linda?

Linda?

You know something, Peter?

I'm getting tired of this.

This is really
beginning to bug me.

No wonder.

I'll get it.

No, I'll get it.

Hello?

Linda?

Oh, I just remembered...

I have some
homework I have to do.

Hey, Linda, why did
you just call and hang up?

You didn't call?

You're studying with Katie.

I'm beginning to smell
a rat around here.

You gotta be kidding.

Why would I do a
dumb thing like that?

To bug me so maybe
I'd give up the attic

our of pure exhaustion.

That's ridiculous.

If I were gonna do
that, why would I

give you the room
in the first place?

Well, how should I know?

Maybe you changed your mind

and didn't have
the nerve to tell me.

You don't really believe that.

Who else would want
me out of the attic?

I'll bet I know.

All right, you two.

Start flapping your gums.

It was us.

Greg didn't have
anything to do with it.

There. We're sorry, Marcia.

We just wanted this
room for ourselves.

Well... I guess I
can understand that.

We all wanted our own room.

Then you're not sore at us?

No.

Wow! I'd be furious.

That just proves Marcia's
more mature, that's all.

You guys were just
thinking about yourselves.

I guess I was, too, Greg.

What do you mean?

Well, about the attic.

Mom and Dad were right.

You'll probably go
to college next year,

and then I'll get my turn.

You mean you want
me to have the attic now?

I really do.

What are you doing now?

Moving Greg's
stuff to the attic.

You just moved it out
of the attic, didn't you?

That's right.

Well, why? What's going on?

Well... On second
thought, don't tell me.

A little knowledge
is a dangerous thing

and ignorance is bliss.

I was telling John how great
I thought the bazaar was,

and he was telling
me the Ditmeyer's junk

didn't bring in near as
much money as our junk did.

Well, actually, I'm
glad to be home.

All evening long I
had this terrible feeling

there was going to be
trouble over that attic.

Oh, honey, you and
your women's intuition.

I'll bet none of them
gave it a second thought.

Oh, well.

You were right.

None of them gave
it a second thought.

1975... it's terrible!

What's terrible?

Mom and Dad said
that we'd all have a turn

to live in the attic
room by ourselves.

Is that terrible?

No, that's not
the terrible part.

What is the terrible part?

Well, see, first
Greg gets the room

then Marcia, then Peter,

then Jan, then Bobby... Yeah?

Well, then comes
the terrible part.

By the time I get
to use the room,

it'll be almost the year 2000.

That is terrible.
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