03x12 - The Bed Jacket

[bunniefuu]

( whistling sprightly tune )

starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also starring Don Knotts.

We sure are catching 'em today, huh, Paw?

Boy, we sure are.

Old Eagle-Eye Annie

is doing herself proud, ain't she?

Sure do have to thank her.

But you're doing the fishing.

Oh, not really.

Way I see it, I'm just the middleman.

About all I do is get the bait.

Day comes Old Annie learns to dig her own worms,

why, she probably won't

invite me along at all after that.

( laughs )

Well, howdy, Mayor.

You quitting so soon?

Just a waste of time, that's all.

Just a waste of time.

I don't know what it is,

but they're just not biting today.

Well, you're just wasting your time, Sheriff.

I can tell ya that right now.

You got one, Paw!

Yeah. What?

Almost jumped out of the water after us.

Yeah. Whoa.

Oh, look at this.

Look out, look out, look out, look out, look out.

Wow, lookee there.

Old Eagle-Eye Annie did it again.

Sure did.

( sighs contentedly )

You-you got all those today?

( Andy chuckles )

We can catch more easy with Eagle-Eye Annie.

Who?

Eagle-Eye Annie.

It's my fishing rod.

That's what we call her.

Oh.

Well, she...

doesn't look so much different from mine.

No. No, it don't.

( chuckling )

Yeah.

( sighs )

And that's just how I do it.

Yeah.

Want to try her?

There you are.

A rod's a rod.

Yeah.

Don't see anything

so darn special about this one.

You got one!

Oh, I-I got one!

Well, reel him in, reel him in.

Reel him in easy, now.

Not too fast. Not too fast.

Bring it... I am.

Come on, right on in. That's the time.

Wow!

Now, there is a fish that's a fish.

Just like that!

( chuckling ): Just like that.

( chuckles )

Now, there you are.

MAYOR: Thank you.

Well, you probably

just got a better place to fish is all.

However, that's, that's not a bad rod.

No.

I'll tell ya what I'll do.

I'll give ya $ for it.

Well, no, I wasn't, uh...

I wasn't really thinking of selling.

No. Nice.

Not a bad offer, though,

seeing it's all scratched up.

No.

Twenty-five?

Oh, I'm, uh, I'm afraid not.

Final offer.

No.

Hmm.

We leaving now, Paw?

Soon as I get one more bite.

All right, all right. $ . .

No.

Oh... ( chuckling )

Now we can go.

Gee, Paw, the fishing's so good,

can't we stay a little longer? Please?

Well, we better scoot on home, get cleaned up.

We-we got to do some shopping for Aunt Bee's birthday.

Just a little longer?

And there's the cake to get... Cake?!

Yep, guess we'd better scoot.

( chuckling )

Okay, there's yours

and there's Old Eagle-Eye Annie.

There ya are.

How old's Aunt Bee?

You know, I'm not rightly sure.

I'll ask her.

Whoop. I woul... I wouldn't do that.

See, uh, Aunt Bee

she ain't too sure about it either.

She don't know how old she is?

Nothing so surprising about that.

It's easy for her to forget.

Don't she even know the day she was born on?

Uh, she knows the day all right

it's the year she's a little fuzzy on.

Oh.

AUNT BEE: Andy?

Can I drive into town with you?

Well, sure.

Just let me go upstairs and get changed.

Aunt Bee, don't you really know how old you are?

( Andy chuckles )

We was just having

a little, uh... little guessing game.

Well, let's see, now. I must be .

But you were last year.

Oh, that's right. It worked out so well

Aunt Bee thought she'd go around again.

Are you allowed to do that?

You know, Opie's right.

I must be going on .

Oh, you look so much younger.

Come on, Ope.

Andy... Let me make something quite clear.

I'm going to be very upset

if you do anything foolish about my birthday.

You got a birthday coming?

I mean it.

Now, you've got to promise me to be sensible.

Birthdays are just for children.

Well, don't fret about it.

It'd be terrible to see worry wrinkles

on a girl of .

Now, remember, nothing fancy.

You mean... you mean, I got to cancel my order

for that genuine mink coat?

Oh, you know what I mean.

Oh, it's a shame.

It would've gone so nice with that long string

of genuine pearls Opie's getting.

I'll see ya later. Come on, Ope!

( no audio )

♪ ♪

How 'bout some nice dishtowels?

Hmm. Seem like good quality.

Oh, you get a lot of use out of them.

They're very practical.

Yeah.

You find anything, Ope?

Just trying to decide between the salt and pepper set

or the baseball hat.

I'd vote for the shakers.

Say, Andy... Huh?

I thought of something.

What?

You know, Aunt Bee does a lot of preserving?

Yeah?

How about a dozen glass jars?

I'll give ya a good price

on account of the tops are a little scratched.

That ain't a bad idea, is it?

I'll even wrap this up fancy.

I don't know, though.

That ain't much of a gift, is it?

I'll tell ya what to do... Make it two dozen.

Come to think, Andy, you sure you wouldn't

rather give her candy or perfume or such?

Oh, no, no. Not for Aunt Bee.

She'd a whole lot rather have something useful.

You go ahead and wrap 'em up nice and fancy,

and I'll pick 'em up after while.

You sure are lucky, having a sensible woman

like that around the house.

( chuckling ): Yeah, boy.

Yeah, she's the last woman in the world

to ever go for anything foolish.

ANDY: Well, howdy, Aunt Bee.

Oh. Well, hello, Andy.

You still here?

Uh-huh. I'm just taking my time

looking in windows and enjoying myself.

My, they have some awfully nice things around.

They're so nicely arranged.

Mm-hmm.

Wh-What is it, Andy?

Well, I just noticed.

What?

Mayor Stoner's in there.

I'm supposed to have some papers ready for him.

I bet he's on the way to the office right now.

I better get on back.

I'll see ya.

Well, good morning, Miss Bee.

Oh, good morning, Mayor.

Doing a little shopping?

Oh. Well, my wife's been away to her sister's

visiting for a month.

It's sort of a little welcome-home present.

I picked up some nice, little guest towels.

Well, how thoughtful.

( chuckling ): Yes, isn't it?

Well, if you'll excuse me.

Mrs. Luken certainly has

some awfully nice things in the shop, doesn't she?

It's an ideal place for a man to come

and find something that a woman would want.

Oh, yes.

Yes, I agree.

Well, good-bye.

I don't mean to hold you up, Mayor,

since you do have to go and talk to Andy.

You're right about this shop.

Now, take that bed jacket, for instance.

It's just the loveliest thing I've ever seen.

It would make an ideal gift for almost any occasion.

If anybody asked me, that's what I'd suggest.

Ah, yes, it is pretty, isn't it?

Eh, well, it's been nice talking to you.

Bye.

Well, it was nice talking with you.

My best to Andy!

Everything seems to be in order...

Traffic, sanitation...

Although I must say, I would have liked to have seen

a tidier presentation.

I didn't know neatness counted so much

in a garbage report.

Well, it does.

Neatness counts everywhere.

To be neat is to...

Well, I haven't got time to go into that now.

I've got to be to a meeting in my office

in just five minutes.

You want me to do them over?

No. I haven't got time.

Don't bother.

Oh, say, would you like to do me a favor?

If I can.

Well, I got these guest towels

as a present for my wife at Lukens' store.

I've been thinking it over,

and I'd like to exchange them

for that bed jacket I saw in the window.

Now, I just don't dare be late for that meeting,

so if you wouldn't mind... Right.

Thank you. Remember, the bed jacket.

Oh, uh, just tell her

to wrap it up the same as she did the towels.

You know... Neat.

Oh, Clara, you never saw anything

so lovely in all your life.

It's pale blue

with shirring around the shoulders,

and little flowers all through the shirring,

and a little bow at the neck, and puffed sleeves.

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if a miracle happened

and Andy bought it for me?

Well, couldn't you just give him a little hint?

Well, I'm ashamed to say it, but I did.

I practically pointed at it.

( laughs )

I really should pull myself together

and realize it's much too extravagant, but...

I just can't help thinking about it.

I'm just dying to see it.

Well, it's right over here. Come on.

Mrs. Lukens', it's right...

What do you suppose he's doing here?

Why, he stopped right in front of Mrs. Lukens'.

( no audio )

You don't suppose...?

Why, it's possible.

Ooh, I can't look!

Bee, you've got to.

Clara, he bought it.

Oh!

Oh, Clara, tomorrow I'm going to have a birthday

I'll never forget!

( laughs )

Andy! Opie!

Come on, breakfast is almost ready.

ANDY: Coming.

Boy, she's going to be surprised, huh, Paw?

Yeah, boy, I can see her face now

when she sees a whole two dozen preserve jars.

Come on, come on.

Get right over there.

Now, get ready, get ready.

Uh, Aunt Bee, would you mind

stepping out here a minute, please?

Yes?

What is...?

Happy birthday, Aunt Bee! Happy birthday!

Oh! oh, Andy! Oh, Opie!

Aren't you both the rascals?

Come on over here and sit down.

Oh, now, I told you not to go to any trouble.

Happy birthday.

Hope you like them, Aunt Bee.

Thank you, Opie.

Oh, what a big package.

I wonder what's in it?

Oh, there ain't no telling what's in there.

Open this one first.

Oh, thank you, Opie.

I-I picked it out myself, didn't I, Paw?

You sure did.

What, what, what, could it be? Come on, come on.

Oh! I can't guess, I can't guess, I can't guess.

( gasps ) ( whistles )

Oh, salt and pepper shakers.

Oh, they're beautiful.

Just what I've been wanting.

Thank you, Opie.

Mmm!

If they're the wrong size

you can always swap 'em for the baseball hat.

( both laughing )

They're perfect.

Well... Oh!

Oh, Andy, my hands are shaking!

Well, come on. It won't open by itself.

Pull that little string right there.

There we are.

Oh, Andy, you really shouldn't have done it.

It's far too much.

Oh, there we are.

I'm really thrilled to death.

It's the most beau...

Oh...

The most beautiful...

preserve jars.

Just what I wanted.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

She was crying.

Maybe it was just the excitement.

Maybe she cut her finger on one of the jars.

( doorbell buzzing )

Good morning, Andy.

Oh, howdy, Miss Johnson.

Oh, I know it's awful early

to break in on anyone,

but I just couldn't wait another second

to see how Bee liked her birthday present.

How'd it look on her?

What?

The bed jacket.

Oh, it's so sweet of you to think of it.

I've never seen her so excited!

Why, she was just like a schoolgirl.

I was with her yesterday

when she saw you take the bed jacket

out of Miss Lukens' window.

Oh, dear me, don't tell me

you haven't given it to her yet.

Oh, she didn't want you to find out

that she already knew about it.

Oh, Andy, don't tell her that I let on.

In fact, don't tell her that I was here at all.

I'll come back later on and see how it fits.

Good-bye.

Mmm.

I'll be back in a minute, Ope.

Where you going, Paw?

I got a little errand to run.

Oh.

Oh, morning, Miss Lukens.

Oh, good morning, Andy.

How are you? Fine.

Just kind of waiting for you to open.

Oh, well, go right on in.

Thank you.

What can I do for you?

Uh, do you have another one...

( no audio )

I'm sorry, Andy.

It's the only one we had.

We could reorder,

but it would take three, four weeks.

No, I'm afraid that wouldn't do.

We have some nice lingerie, or perhaps a sweater, or gloves.

No. It's got to be the bed jacket.

Well, thank you, Miss Lukens.

I'm sorry, Andy.

The package! What package?

What are you talking about?

The one I got for you

yesterday at Miss Lukens'.

I just don't understand you, Sheriff...

Running around, waking up people

out of their sleep on a Saturday morning.

Now, speak up. What's the trouble?

Would you just come down here a minute, Mayor?

It's about a voter.

Well, it just isn't right for...

You say a voter?

( birds chirping )

What's this about a voter?

Uh, what voter?

My Aunt Bee.

And what about her?

Well, i-it's kind of hard to explain, Mayor,

but that bed jacket

you bought yesterday at Miss Lukens'...

I'd like to buy it off of you.

Bed jacket?!

Is that what you got me up

at this hour for... A bed jacket?!

N-Now, wait a minute, Mayor.

Aunt Bee's got her heart set on it.

Sheriff, I bought that bed jacket

as a present for my wife,

and she's due back this afternoon.

Well, you can get something else real nice for your wife.

Now, what you say, Mayor?

I'd be much obliged to you

if you'd let me buy it off of you.

Well, uh...

this seems to be pretty important to you.

You better know it is.

Well, maybe we can work something out.

Perhaps you've heard the old expression

"One hand washes the other"?

Yes.

Maybe we can make us a mutual deal.

I'll sell something to you.

You sell something to me.

Like what?

Like, uh... Well, let's say...

like your fishing rod.

My what?!

Give you $ for it.

You want the bed jacket;

I want the fishing rod.

( chuckling )

What do you say?

( clears throat )

Oh, I'm sorry I had to run out, Aunt Bee,

it being your birthday, and all.

It was the other way around.

I'm sorry I ran out, Andy. I...

There's just no excuse for my behavior.

I just can't explain it.

Well, can't it wait

till you finish opening up your presents?

What?

Well, you ran out so fast a while ago,

you didn't get a chance to look at number three.

Oh!

Figured you would have had it open by now.

Oh, my!

Oh! Oh, my goodness!

Mmm. Figured it'd be a kind of a sensible present to get.

We get some cool evenings.

A whole lot cheaper than putting in a whole new furnace.

Oh. Andy!

Oh!

Andy, you really shouldn't have.

Well, now, if you'd rather,

you can swap it in for a baseball cap.

Oh, no!

Oh! Oh, I must call Clara!

Oh. Hello?

Hello? Sarah?

Would you get me Clara Johnson, please?

Andy, you shouldn't have.

Oh... What do you think...

If we're going fishing, Paw, we better hurry.

Mm-hmm. I'm show it to you.

Well, now, there's just one thing.

Paw, it's not here.

( whispering ): I know, I know.

I sold it to the mayor.

You sold it?! Shh!

AUNT BEE: Big box on the table...

But you said you'd never sell it.

No, not quite.

I said I kept it

because it gave me so much enjoyment

and that I wouldn't sell it for money.

And I didn't sell it for money.

I just kind of swapped it for a different kind of enjoyment.

So Old Eagle-Eye Annie's doing just what she did before.

Even right now, she's giving me pleasure.

Real heartwarming pleasure.

AUNT BEE: And you know

the color's just right for me.

I just don't know when I've ever had

such a nice birthday.

Very good!

On the first blow.

Now your wish'll come true.

It already has.

Now, hand me the Kn*fe, and your wish will come true.

Oh, boy.

( doorbell buzzes )

Oh, excuse me.

Well, howdy, Mayor. Won't you come in?

( whispering ): Sheriff, come here, come here.

What's the matter?

Miss Bee and Opie in there?

Yeah.

Sheriff, you have got to help me.

Well, what's the matter?

My wife, she went into Lukens' store this afternoon

and found out that I'd bought a ladies' bed jacket.

Well, she thinks that I gave it to some other woman

while she was away.

Isn't that ridiculous?

Well, why don't you just tell her you sold it to me?

I tried, I tried, but you know Mabel.

See, Sheriff... Andrew.

Andrew, you-you've got to help me.

Will you call her?

She'll believe you. Please?

Well, uh, all right.

I guess we can, we can work something out.

I guess you've heard the expression,

"One hand washes another"?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I've heard that.

I mean, it's-it's only fair.

I mean, I do something for you, you do something for me.

Anything. Anything.

That woman gets violent.

Why, there's no telling what she'd do.

Well, uh, I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll-I'll straighten it out for you,

and you sell me back my fishing rod.

Fishing rod?

Oh, no, no. I couldn't do that.

All right. All right, Andrew.

Anything, anything.

Only you, you will call her?

Yeah. Right away?

Right away, I'll call her. Right away.

Sure you won't come in?

No, no, thank you. You'll call her right away?

I'll call her.

( chuckles )

Gee, this sure is good cake.

Well, Opie, I didn't know whether to make a white one,

or a pink one, or a black one,

but I remembered you like chocolate.

What was it?

Oh, nothing. Just Mayor Stoner.

Anything wrong?

No, we was just playing a little game called,

"Let One Hand Wash the Other."

Will you teach that game to me?

I expect with you, we'd better start with the face.

( laughing )