Crying Game, The (1992)

[bunniefuu]

Right.

Right. That...

...and that.

And that is cricket, hon.

Do you want it?

Sure.

Doesn't matter if you don't.

You know, I won't be offended. Jody's never offended.

What you say your name was? Jude.

Jude. Why, that suits you, Jude.

The teddy bear? No! f*ck this bear.

The name: Jude.

And it is Jude, right?

I gotta piss, Jude.

Over here.

Jude in June Ooh, Jude, my baby I said Baby, baby Here. Don't run off, Jude.

You don't know me, do ya?

What if I did? You'd know I wouldn't run off.

Oh!

Never pissed holdin' a girl's hand, Jude. Ya didn't?

You know what? Tell me, Jody.

It's nice.

Not here.

Who gives a f*ck? Ya never know.

I never know nothing.

People. They could be lookin'. Let 'em look.

Come and get me, soldier. Whatever you say, Jude.

What the f*ck--

Get off. Get off.

Get it on! Get it on.

Come on!

Jude!

So, what's your name, soldier?

f*ck you. Yeah.

The situation is simple.

You're being held hostage by the Irish Republican Army.

They've got one of our senior members under interrogation in Castlereagh.

We've informed 'em that if they don't release him within three days...

...you'll be sh*t.

You'll be treated as our guest until further developments.

Have you anything to say?

Give him a cup of tea.

You want a cup of tea?

Thanks, Jude.

See does he want some.

Do you want some food?

Hey.

What's he like?

Horny bastard.

Did you give him it?

There're certain things I wouldn't do for my country.

Have a look at him.

Can't.

Poke him or somethin'. See if he's still alive.

He's all right. Hasn't moved for twelve hours.

Go on. Have a heart.

You f*cking bitch! You f*cking bitch!

You f*cking whore!

You f*cking whore!

Give me a Kn*fe! I'll cut his f*ckin' heart out!

Give me a Kn*fe! Jesus!

You all right?

f*ckin' animal. Come on, Jude.

What do you mean 'Come on'? I had him all over me!

Yeah.

Tough work, that. Well, someone's gotta do it.

Nah, it was a breeze.

I just thought of you.

You know what, Fergus? What?

One of you made me want it.

Which one?

Hold it there. To your left.

Walk on. It's okay.

Around, around to your left.

Gonna open the door.

Move to your left.

Walk in. That's it.

Listen, soldier, you should eat somethin'.

Can't. What do you mean, you can't?

I can't eat through a canvas bag.

Okay. Okay.

Here.

f*ckin' hell, man! This is a farce!

How is it a farce? I seen your f*cking face!

So, what do I look like?

You're the one about 5' 10' with the k*ller smile...

...and the baby face.

Oh, am I? Yeah.

And the brown eyes.

You're the handsome one.

Thank you, handsome. My pleasure.

I can't f*ckin' breathe, man.

Be a Christian, will ya?

Tell him to take the hood off, honey.

How'd you know it was her?

I can smell her perfume.

See, if we took the hood off, we'd have to sh**t you.

As it is, you got a fifty-fifty chance.

I thought you liked me, you bitch.

It was fun while it lasted.

Nice lady.

Please, man. I'm suffocatin' in here. Take it off.

Can we not take it off? Have to check with himself.

Here. You mind him.

Don't leave me with her, man!

She's dangerous!

Peter? Can I take the prisoner's hood off?

Why do you want to do that?

Poor whore's suffocatin' in the heat. So?

Anyway, he's seen our faces. He's seen your face.

Yeah, and he saw Jude as well. Peter--

If you don't mind him seein', I don't mind; but you're the only one he looks at. Right. Thanks.

It's your decision.

Leave him to me, Jude. My pleasure.

Thank you, soldier.

Never thought fresh air would taste this good.

Now, if you loose up my hands, I could feed myself.

No f*ckin' way.

I'm only joking.

You know, I was wrong about one thing.

And what's that? You're no pinup.

No? No. You're not handsome at all.

Are you tryin' to hurt my feelings? No.

It's the truth. I could say the same thing about you.

Could you? But I won't.

We're more polite around these parts. So I've noticed.

Hey. What is it now?

You're gonna have to do it, aren't you?

Do what? k*ll me.

What makes you think that?

They're not gonna let that guy out...

...and you're gonna have to k*ll me.

They'll let him out. You want to bet?

I'm not a gamblin' man. And even if they do...

...you can't just let me loose.

Why can't we? Not your nature.

What do you know about my nature?

I'm talkin' 'bout your people, not you.

What the f*ck do you know about my people?

Only that you're all tough, undeluded m*therf*ckers...

...and it's not in your nature to let me go!

Shut the f*ck up, would ya?

Here.

You know a funny thing?

No. What's the funny thing? I didn't even fancy her.

Didn't look like that to me.

She's not my type.

No?

No.

Come here. No.

Come here.

I wanna show you something.

What? My inside pocket.

Take out my wallet.

Open it.

Inside there's a picture.

No, not that one.

There's another.

Now, she's my type.

She'd be anybody's type. Don't you think of it, fucker.

Why not? She's mine.

Anyway, she wouldn't suit you.

No? Absolutely not.

Is she your wife?

I guess you could say that.

You make a nice couple. Don't I know it.

So what were you f*ckin' around for then?

You f*ckers set me up.

That-- That bitch.

She's a friend of mine.

Okay. That nice lady.

She meets me in a bar.

I'm thinkin' to myself:

'What the f*ck am I doin' here anyway?'

What the f*ck were you doin' here? I got sent.

You could've said no. Can't once I signed up.

Why did you sign up? It was a job.

Ah, yeah, a job.

So I get sent to the one place in the world...

...where they call you 'n*gg*r' to your face.

Shouldn't take it personally.

'Go back to your banana tree, n*gg*r.'

There's no use tellin' 'em I come from Tottenham.

And you like cricket? Best game in the world.

Ever see hurling?

That game where a bunch of paddies whack sticks at each other?

Best game in the world. The fastest. Never.

Well, in Antigua, cricket's the black man's game.

Kids play it from the age of two.

My dad had me throwin' googlies from the age of five.

Then we moved to Tottenham and it was somethin' different.

How was it different? Toffs' game there.

But not at home.

So, when you come to sh**t me, Paddy...

...remember you're gettin' rid of a sh*t-hot bowler.

I'll bear it in mind.

Oh, and by the way...

...it's not 'Paddy.' It's Fergus.

Nice to meet you, Fergus.

My pleasure, Jody.

Stay. Wait. Wait!

Take it easy now. Just go slow. Down by that tree.

Tree. Tree.

Right.

You gotta loosen my hands. Can't.

Can't?

Then you're gonna have to take my d*ck out for me, aren't you?

Come on, man! I'm gonna wet my pants.

Take the fucker out, man. I'm dying.

I gotta lean forwards, or dribble all over myself.

Would you hold my hands for me?

Now, that is worth waiting for.

Hurry up, will ya? These things take time, Fergus.

It's amazing how these small details...

...take on such importance, isn't it?

Now put it back in.

Give us a break. I can't do it!

It's only a piece of meat.

For f*ck's sake, it's got no major diseases!

Thank you.

I had a case of the clap two years ago.

Crabs in Ulster. Shut up, will ya!

But, all in all, it served me pretty well.

Get inside, will ya? I didn't mean to offend you, Fergus.

Fergus.

Yeah? I'm sorry.

I-- I know that wasn't very easy for you.

The pleasure was all mine.

Oh, no, it was mine.

Believe me, it was my pleasure.

What the f*ck is this? Nothin', man.

He just took me out for a pee.

Put the f*ckin' hood on him.

What the f*ck is this? Nothin'.

He's just got a sense of humor, that's all.

When you're on duty you'll keep your f*ckin' mouth shut.

Go on and get some sleep. Yeah, get some sleep.

Did he talk?

Didn't make you laugh?

Here, have some breakfast.

Good morning, Fergus.

So, he knows your name? Yeah, I told him.

Are you all there? Come here.

I said come here!

Back in a minute, Jody.

You'll have minimum contact with that prisoner!

Yeah, okay.

You know why? Why?

Because tomorrow we might have to sh**t him, that's why.

They givin' you trouble, Fergus?

It happens.

There's two kinds of people: those who give and those who take.

Take off the hood, man.

It's okay.

I understand.

Don't mind if I prattle on, do you?

I take it by your silence that you don't.

Two types, Fergus: the scorpion and the frog.

Ever heard of 'em?

A scorpion wants to cross the river, but he can't swim.

Goes to a frog who can and asks for a ride.

Frog says, 'If I give you a ride on my back...

...you'll go and sting me.'

Scorpion replies, 'It would not be in my interest to sting you...

...since, as I'll be on your back, we both would drown.'

Frog thinks about this logic for a while and accepts the deal.

Takes the scorpion on his back, braves the waters...

...halfway over feels a burning spear in his side...

...and realizes the scorpion has stung him after all.

And as they both sink beneath the waves...

...the frog cries out...

'Why'd you sting me Mr. Scorpion?

For now we both will drown.'

Scorpion replies...

'I can't help it. It's in my nature.'

So what's that supposed to mean?

Means what it says.

A scorpion does what is in its nature.

Take off the hood, man.

Why? 'Cause you're kind...

...and it's in your nature.

See? I was right about you.

Don't be so sure.

Jody's always right.

Where would you most like to be now, man?

Doesn't matter where. Come on, man.

If this sh*t was all over.

Havin' a pint in the Rock.

You lack imagination, Fergus.

Think of something more... alluring.

Like what?

Like... havin' a pint in the Metro.

Havin' two pints in the Rock. Havin' a pint in the Metro...

...and Dil's havin' a margarita.

Who's Dil? Special friend.

Oh, yeah.

We got simple tastes, you and me. Yup, the best.

But you guys never get a break, do you?

Do you? Oh, yeah.

We do a tour of duty and we're finished.

But you guys are never finished, are you?

We don't look on it that way.

Often wonder how you do it.

It depends what you believe in.

What do you believe in? That you guys shouldn't be here.

That simple? Yeah.

Put that thing back on him, Fergus. He's hot!

Doesn't matter if he's hot. Just cover the fucker up.

You got no feelings, woman!

You shut your face!

You're headed for trouble, Fergus. Okay, okay.

He's a good soldier--

I said shut the f*ck up.

He believes in the future. Is that right?

Is it bad?

Not bad.

Women are trouble.

Do you know that, Fergus? I didn't.

Some kinds of women are.

She can't help it.

Dil, she was no trouble, no trouble at all.

You liked her? Present tense, please, please.

Love her...

...wherever she is.

I'm thinkin' of her now. Would you think of her too?

I don't know her.

I want you to do something for me.

What?

If they k*ll me-- Don't think that way.

But they will...

...as sure as night follows day.

They have to.

I want you to find her out.

Tell her I was thinkin' of her.

See if she's all right. I don't know her.

Take her picture. It's--

Come here. It's in my inside pocket.

Take the whole lot. I won't need it.

I told you not to talk that way.

Go to Millies Hair Salon in Spittalfields.

Take her to the Metro for a margarita.

You don't have to tell her who you are.

You just tell her Jody was thinkin' of her--

Stop it.

Volunteer?

We need you inside.

We've heard word.

They've used every trick in the book and he's beginnin' to talk.

You're gonna have to do it in the mornin'.

You okay about that?

I'm a volunteer, am n't I? Good.

Beginnin' to have me doubts about you the past few days.

Not the only one. Shut up, Jude.

Better get some sleep tonight, Fergus.

Peter. What?

Request permission to guard the prisoner tonight.

You're crazy. Don't let him, Peter. Shut the f*ck up, Jude.

What do you want to do that for? It would make me feel better about it.

Sure about that? Yeah, I'm sure.

Okay. You're a good man, Fergus.

Don't. I-- I'm sorry.

Help me.

How can I? I don't know.

I don't know.

Just help me.

Give me a cigarette.

I don't even-- I don't even smoke.

Thought it was the right thing to do.

Go to sleep now. I don't want to sleep.

Tell me something.

What? A story.

Like the one about the frog? And the scorpion?

No. No.

Tell me anything.

'When I was a child... Yeah?

'I thought as a child.

But when I became a man...

I put away childish things.'

What does that mean?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Tell me something.

Anything.

Not a lot of use, are you, Fergus?

Me?

No.

I'm not good for much.

Come on, stand up.

Turn to your right.

Okay, step up. One step.

Okay, turn to your right.

Go forward. Step up.

Now to the left.

I wish to say on behalf of the Irish Republican Army--

Leave him be!

Take the hood off, Fergus.

No.

I want to see you a bit, please. Please.

Don't make me die like an animal.

I'm glad you're doin' it.

Do you know that, Fergus?

Why? 'Cause you're my friend.

And I want you to go to the Metro. Stop that talk now!

Hurling's a fast game, isn't it, Fergus?

The fastest.

Faster than cricket? Cricket's in the ha'penny place.

So if I ran, there's no way I could b*at you, is there?

You won't run! But if I did...

...you wouldn't sh**t a brother in the back.

Jody!

You stupid bastard! What'd you say, faster?

I said you bastard! Stop! Gotta catch me first.

Used to run the mile, you know, four times around the cricket pitch.

What was that game called? Hurling!

What? What? Hurling!

Told you I was fast, huh?

Don't do it.

Jody!

All line up! Follow me!

Over here now!

Jude! Run!

Fergus.

You're back on the bike, Tommy?

How're ya keepin'? All right.

And notice I've asked you nothin'. That's wise, Tommy.

All right then. I like bein' wise.

So what do you need, Fergus?

Need to go across the water. Do ya now?

Need to lose myself for a while.

Aye.

There's a man I know ships cattle to London.

We're closing.

You deaf?

I'll see you tomorrow, Dil. 'Night.

Want something in particular? Just a bit of a trim.

Come on.

Someone recommended you? In a way.

Who? A guy I work with.

What's his name? Does the water not get to your nails?

What's it to you? Nothing.

You American? No.

You're not English. No.

Scottish? How'd you guess?

The accent, I suppose. Oh. What's it like?

Like treacle.

Nice laugh.

There. That should make her happy.

Who's 'she'? Don't know. Who is 'she'?

Hi, Dil. Hi ya, hon.

All right? I suppose.

Yes? What'll it be? Bottle of Guinness.

Bottle of Guinness.

See that, Col? See what, Dil?

He gave me a look. Did he?

I just cut his hair, you know. Yeah?

So what do you think? Nice.

There. He did it again.

I saw that one. That was a look. What would you call that?

Ask him to ask me what I'm drinking.

She wants to know do you want to know what she's drinking.

A margarita.

Now he can look.

Ask him does he like his hair, Col.

She wants to know, sir, do you like your hair.

Tell her I'm very happy with it. He's Scottish, Col.

Scottish? Yeah.

What he say? He agreed that he was.

And what do you think his name might be?

I have no thoughts on the subject.

Jimmy. Jimmy?

Jimmy. That's what he said.

Hi ya, Jimmy.

Hi, Dil.

Sing us a song, Dil. f*ck off, Dave.

Come on, babe. You know what I like.

Easy!

sh*t. Where d'you think you're goin'?

Piss off, Dave. Get off my case!

f*ckin' cow!

Go on, get in there! Stop pushing.

This is the last time.

One run! Come on!

So, Pat's a cricket fan, is he?

It's not Pat. It's Jim.

I don't actually give a f*ck whether it's Jim, Pat or Mick...

...as long as you remember you're not at Lords, all right?

Here, love.

So, I see you're a regular, sir. Is that good or bad?

Well, you get to say, 'The usual, Col,' things like that.

Here. Let's call this the usual. Thanks.

No, no. It's on me. Thanks very much.

You can take it out if you want.

Came to see her, didn't you?

Listen, there's something I should tell you. She's--...

She's what? She's on.

He's still looking, Col. Persistent.

Good thing in a man. An excellent quality.

Maybe he wants something. I expect he does.

Ask him. Ask him yourself.

So tell me.

Everybody wants something. Not me.

Not you? How quaint.

How old-fashioned and quaint, isn't it, Col?

You old-fashioned? Must be.

Got the money, Dil? f*ck off, Dave.

You f*ckin' promised. Did I?

You f*cking did! Well, didn't you?

Well, come on!

It takes all types.

So who's he? He's what she should run a mile from.

Then why doesn't she?

Who knows the secrets of the human heart?

All right, good night.

You can't come in here, love.

Don't be like that. You heard me.

We're f*ckin' grand all of a sudden, eh?

Talk to me, you stupid bitch! Piss off, Dave.

Hi.

Hi. You forgot your bag.

Thank you. Jimmy. Who the f*ck's he?

It's him, isn't it? Maybe.

See, they get the wrong idea. c**t.

What was that? They all get the wrong idea.

c**t. Scrag-eyed d*ke c**t! Charming.

What'll I do? Break his neck.

No, don't.

He's gonna take his foot off slowly, David...

...and you're to go home like a good boy, you hear?

c**t.

Come on, honey.

You all right? Yes, thank you.

What was all that about?

He wants me to perform for him.

Perform? You know.

You on the game? God, no.

I'm a hairdresser.

He's gettin' up.

Can't leave me then, can you?

You want me to ask you in, right? No. Didn't say that.

But I'm not cheap, you know that? Loud, but never cheap.

f*cking dumb d*ke carrot c**t!

If you kiss me, it would really get his goat.

Now, if you ask me to meet you tomorrow...

...it would really drive him insane.

Where? Half-five at Millies.

Give me that look again.

What look? The one you gave me in the Metro.

Darling, you shouldn't have.

What's that about? They're jealous.

Why? I wonder.

Now's the time you meant to do something, isn't it?

Like what? Make a pass or something.

Isn't that the way it goes? Must be.

Have you got a special friend, Jimmy? How special?

Do you want one? Christ!

Jesus.

That Dave? The things a girl has to put up with.

I'm frightened, Jimmy. That's not like him.

Piss off, Dave!

Tough guy, huh?

Are you gonna be all right on your own?

But I'm not on my own, am I?

It won't hurt you to come in.

Would you like a drink? Yes, please.

What'll it be? Uh, whiskey.

Yeah! Hey!

Come on, Dil! Somebody out there.

Jesus f*cking Christ.

Hey, Dil!

Hey, Stirling f*cking Moss! It's Dave!

Come on, Dil, talk to me! Sure, Dave.

Come on! Hey, Dil--...

Hey, they're my clothes! Take your clothes...

Don't throw my clothes out the window! and f*ck off...

...back to Essex! f*ckin' mad!

Don't chuck my clothes out!

Take your f*cking goldfish too!

My f*ckin' fish!

m*rder*r!

Sorry.

How does he drive with his neck in a brace?

Must be in love to manage that.

Doesn't know the meaning of the word.

Did he live here with you? He tried to.

Sit down, will you?

What about him?

He was different.

How different?

As different as it's possible to be.

Tell me about him.

No.

Shouldn't I go?

Yes.

No.

Did you do that to him?

You want to know how I kissed him? Yes.

Are you jealous? Maybe.

That's good.

What would he think?

He can't think. He's dead.

In Ireland. He was a soldier. Went there like a fool.

Do you miss him? What do you think?

I think you do. You say that like a gentleman.

Do I? Like you're concerned.

You can't stay. You know that.

Didn't think I could.

Real gentleman.

Shouldn't you be in mourning? I am.

Look, Dil, I'm sorry. f*ck off, Dave.

No, I won't f*cking f*ck off.

I said I'm sorry, didn't I? Yeah. I heard.

You hear, Jimmy?

I was only gonna ask her for a dance.

Shall we?

Did he come here too?

Is this an obsession of yours? Maybe.

He did, sometimes.

Did he dance with you?

What do you want with me, Jimmy?

I want to look after you. What does that mean?

It's something I heard someone say once.

You mean that? Yeah.

Why?

If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.

You're not havin' me on, are you?

'Cause Dil can't stand that.

No.

She does get very upset.

One for him too.

Drink.

What is this? I'm superstitious. Drink.

Can't leave me now.

The thing is, can you go the distance?

Depends what it is. Depends on nothing.

In one.

What you thinkin' of, hon?

I'm thinkin' of your man. Why?

I'm wonderin' why you keep his things.

I told you.

I'm superstitious.

Did he ever tell you you were beautiful?

All the time.

Even now.

What do you mean? He looks after me.

He's a gentleman too.

Wait just one minute.

Would he have minded?

You did know, didn't you?

Oh, my God.

Jesus, I feel sick.

Don't go, Jimmy! Oh!

I'm sorry. I thought you knew.

What were doing in the bar if you didn't know?

Oh, I'm bleeding.

It's all right, Jimmy. I can take it.

Just not on the face.

See, I'm not a young thing any longer.

Funny the way things go.

Don't you find that, Jimmy?

Never the way you expect it.

I'm sorry.

You mean that? Don't go! Say something!

Jesus.

He's back, Col.

Hi.

Don't want any of those looks, Col. They don't mean much.

Stop it, Dil! No! Tell him to go f*ck himself!

She wants me to tell you go f*ck yourself!

I'm sorry. Tell him to stop messin' Dil around!

Dil! Tell him it hurts.

I've got to talk to her, Col. He says he's got to talk to you.

Come on, Dil. Where?

Tell him again, Col, go f*ck himself!

Come here, darlin'! Hey! Hey!

Off you go.

How much did that frame cost, Mr. Franknum?

200 quid, Mr. Deveroux.

Well, your bloody Pat has just cost me 200 quid.

Sorry.

Sorry isn't gonna bring the bloody thing back, is it?

Not in my experience. No.

Off his wages. Do you mean that?

He wants to know whether I mean it, Mr. Franknum.

I'm sure you do.

Bloody right I do.

Well, is that Pat's tart?

Does Pat have a tart? She's not a tart.

No, of course not. She's a lady. No, she's not that either.

Darlin'. Never let the sun go down on an argument...

...as Jody used to say. What are you doing here?

Got your note.

So let's kiss and make up, honey. Don't call me that.

Sorry, darling. Stop it, Dil.

Apologies, my sweet.

That's more like it, dear. Have a cuppa.

You're somethin' else, Dil. You know that?

Never said a truer word.

I was always best lookin' after someone.

Must be something in the genes. Must be.

And the fact that you didn't know...

...is basically the fault of yours truly.

And even when you were throwin' up, I could tell you cared.

You could? Do you care, Jimmy?

Yeah. Sure I do.

You mean that? Yeah.

I care, Dil.

Are you crying?

I'm tired and emotional.

Do it on your own time, Pat. What?

Whatever it is she does for you.

If I was her, I'd consider that an insult.

Consider it how you like. Just get the bloody tart out of here!

Didja ever pick your teeth up with broken fingers?

What's that supposed to mean? A simple question.

Come on, dear. He didn't answer, honey.

Sorry about that, Mr. Deveroux.

My, oh my, Jimmy, how gallant. Shut up.

Made me feel all funny inside. I said stop it.

Ask to meet me again, Jimmy.

Do you think that's wise? Nothing's wise.

I didn't mean to hit you. I know that.

I kinda liked you as a girl. That's a start.

So, I'm sorry. So, make it up to me, then.

How? Ask to meet me again.

Will you meet me again? When?

Whenever.

Tonight.

Good night. See ya later.

Do they know? Know what, honey?

Know what I didn't know--...

And don't call me that. Can't help it.

A girl has her feelings. Thing is, Dil, you're not a girl.

Details, baby, details. So they do know.

All right, they do. Don't.

I shoulda known, shouldn't I? Probably.

Kinda wish I didn't. You can always pretend.

Ah, that's true.

Your soldier knew, didn't he?

Absolutely.

Won't be quite the same, though, will it?

Are you pretendin' yet?

I'm workin' on it.

There's Dave.

He knew too. Stop it, Jimmy.

Am I becoming repetitious?

A little. Sorry.

No, don't ask me in. Please, Jimmy.

No. Can't pretend that much.

I miss you, Jimmy. Yeah?

Shoulda stayed a girl. Don't be cruel.

Okay.

Be a good girl. Go inside.

Only if you kiss me.

Now are you happy? Delirious.

Hello, stranger.

You vanished.

What was it, Fergus? Did you blow the gaff on us...

...or did you just f*ck up?

Leave me alone, Jude.

No. That's the last thing I'll do.

You never asked what happened. I heard.

Eddie and Tinker d*ed. I know.

Maguire and me got out by the skin of our teeth--

No thanks to you.

What do you think of my hair?

Suits you. Aye.

I was sick of bein' a blonde.

I needed a tougher look, if you know what I mean.

f*ck me, Fergus.

Am I to take it that's a no?

We had a court-martial in your absence.

They wanted to put a b*llet through your head.

I pleaded for clemency.

Said we should find out what happened first.

So what did happen?

He ran.

I couldn't sh**t him in the back.

Tried to catch him.

He made it to the road and got hit by a Saracen.

So you did f*ck up. Yes.

But you know what the thing is, Fergus?

No. What is the thing?

You vanished quite effectively.

Became Mister Nobody.

You've no idea how useful that could be.

What do you mean? We've got some plans here...

...and we'll need a Mister Nobody to execute them.

No way, Jude. I'm out.

You're never out, Fergus.

Maybe you don't care about yourself, but--

Consider the girl, Fergus.

The wee black chick.

Leave her out of this! Jesus, Fergus!

You're a walkin' cliche.

You know we won't leave her out of it.

But I'm glad to see you care.

And, I must admit...

I'm curious. What the f*ck do you know, Jude?

You f*ckin' tell me, boy!

She's nobody. She likes me.

Oh, so I suppose a f*ck is out of the question.

You keep your head down, Fergus.

No sudden moves.

And not a whisper to her.

You'll be hearin' from us.

Keep the faith.

He your boyfriend?

Lucky you.

Carnations.

What? He'd bring me carnations.

Oh, so I got it wrong, huh? Not at all, honey.

Don't. Okay.

Come on. Come on. Why, honey?

Gonna tell me why? No.

What's wrong, Jimmy?

You gonna tell me what's wrong? No. Not here.

You gonna tell me what it is?

Ah. What is it? You know her, Jimmy?

Jimmy, is it? You know me, Jimmy?

Dil, this is Jude. You following me?

Yeah! Just checkin'.

Has he been nice to you, Dil? Ever so nice. Aren't you, Jimmy?

That's good. I'm glad.

Young love, as they say. Absolutely. The younger the better.

Doesn't come much your way, I suppose. Don't go lookin' for it, Dil.

Well, maybe you'll get lucky someday.

Bit heavy on the powder, isn't she, Jimmy?

A girl has to have a bit of glamour. Oh, absolutely.

As long as she can keep it.

Isn't that right, James?

It's her, isn't it? What's her?

She's the thing you had to tell me.

Kind of.

I'm sorry, you know that? I'm really sorry.

You see that, Col? Saw it, Dil.

'f*ck it' is what I say. Yeah, f*ck it.

f*ckin' men, Col. f*ck 'em.

f*ck you, Jimmy!

You could always make it up to her. How?

When a girl runs out like that...

...she generally wants to be followed.

She's not a girl, Col.

Whatever you say.

She went that way, but you go with me.

So, it was you all the time.

Who'd you think it was? I thought it was Dave.

And who's Dave when he's at home?

He's at home.

Should blow you away, you know that. Yeah, I know.

I'm gettin' emotional, and I don't like gettin' f*ckin' emotional!

You understand, Hennessy?

Yeah. I understand. f*ck you too.

f*ck you.

Leave him alone, Peter.

He's in love. That right, Fergus? You in love?

Absolutely. What's she like between the sheets?

Definitely unusual. And who is she?

Just a girl.

You know what'll happen if you f*ck up again, don't ya?

Yeah, I do, Peter. Good.

So, what do you think that is, Hennessy?

A hotel?

It's a knockin' shop. Très discreet, huh?

He visits his ladies Tuesdays and Thursday nights...

...and Saturday mornings.

That's his security in the car beyond.

Who is he?

Doesn't matter who he is. He's a legitimate target.

Thank God for that.

You tryin' to be cynical, Hennessy? Hope not.

Good.

So, what do you think?

Whoever hits him will be hit, if those men are any good.

And I presume you can't get inside. Right.

So it's on the street? Right.

Kind of su1c1de, isn't it?

But then, I don't have a choice.

Oh, you do, Fergie.

Of course.

I forgot.

Come on.

Rehearsal.

You keep your mind on your job, boy.

Then you'll leave her out of it? Aye. Then we'll leave her be.

He's arthritic. Takes him two minutes to get to the door.

And what if I say no? You know what. Go.

Pardon me, young man!

You were made for this. Was I?

Perfect! What happens then?

We'll be on the other side.

We'll move when you do. And what if you don't?

Fergus, I think you don't trust me. You may be right.

Stay late at your work tomorrow night and I'll bring you the gear.

Jude. Yes?

Who is the old geezer?

Some judge.

Why'd you follow me, Dil? I was jealous, Jimmy.

You shouldn't be. Why shouldn't I be jealous?

Don't. My makeup.

She own you, Jimmy? Yes.

She's from Scotland too? Yeah, you could say that.

And you're not gonna tell me more? Can't.

What you doing, Jimmy?

I don't know yet.

Do you like me even a little bit?

More than that.

Come on. Let's go for a walk.

Do something for me, Dil? Anything.

You'd do anything for me?

I'm afraid so.

You got the keys to the shop?

Want another haircut, Jimmy?

No. Come on, sit down.

You'd do anything for me? Anything.

No way. You said anything, Dil.

A girl has to draw the line somewhere.

Want to change you to a man. Why?

It's a secret.

Would you like me better that way, Jimmy?

Yes.

And you wouldn't leave me? No.

Do you promise? I promise.

Go on, then.

You want to make me like him? No.

I want to make you into something new...

...that nobody recognizes.

I don't recognize myself.

No. Better in the dark.

So it's true, then. What?

You like me better like this. Yes.

No, no. Dil. Dil. Come on.

Dil.

Turn around. Turn around.

Baby.

What you doin', honey?

Don't call me that. Sorry.

What you doin'? Try this on.

Why? For me.

For you. Yes.

What we doin' here, Jimmy? Look on it like a honeymoon.

You a handyman, Fergie?

Take a pride in my work.

I sincerely hope so.

Tools of the trade, now.

And forget about the girl.

Dil!

Dil!

Dil!

What the f*ck are you doing here?

I'm goin' home! I told you to stay in the hotel!

I thought you was foolin' me.

I thought you were leavin' me! I had to go to work!

I stayed all day in the hotel thinkin' every noise was you!

Come on.

There's something you're not telling me, Jimmy.

Come on! No! I'm goin' home.

Dil! So tell me!

I was tryin' to get out of something!

No! Tell me everything, Jimmy!

You-- You gotta forget you ever saw me, Dil.

You mean that? Yeah.

Stop it, would ya?

Give it over, Dil, for f*ck's sake!

I'm sorry. I get nervous. I've got this blood condition.

Just help me inside, Jimmy, and I'll be all right.

Did you hear what I said, Dil?

Get my pills.

What pills? Prescription for my condition.

What condition?

My condition. Ennui.

Are you supposed to take that many?

Only in times of extreme stress.

See, they all say good-bye sometime.

Except for him.

Are you all right, Dil?

I will be.

Go on.

Good-bye, Dil.

Jimmy. What?

Don't go like that.

Can't help what I am.

I knew you had a heart.

Dil, can I tell you somethin'?

I knew your man.

You knew which man?

Your soldier. You knew my Jody?

Lifted him from a carnival outside Belfast.

Held him hostage for three days.

You knew my Jody?

Are you listenin'? Yes.

Got the order to sh**t him.

Before I could do it, he ran.

Ran into a t*nk and d*ed.

d*ed? Did you hear me?

You k*lled my Jody? In a manner of speakin'.

It was you. You should scream.

You should b*at my head off.

You k*lled my Jody. No.

You didn't?

I suppose I tried. Tried.

Don't you want to k*ll me?

Bang.

Don't leave me tonight.

Might k*ll me too.

Okay.

What the f*ck?

So, tell me what you're doing, Jimmy.

Didn't really listen last night.

I heard, but I didn't listen.

Dil.

That won't do you no good.

Dil knows how to tie a body.

I wondered why you came on to me like that...

...when you gave me the look. He asked me to see were you all right!

See, I fix on anyone who's nice to me.

Just the littlest bit nice and I'm yours.

Stop it, Dil!

Just don't kick Dil and she'll be touched.

Be nice to her and she'll be yours forever.

See, I should blow you away, Jimmy.

But I can't... yet.

Let me go, Dil. Why?

I gotta be somewhere! So try and go then.

Where the f*ck is he?

Christ.

Let me go, for f*ck's sake, Dil...

...or they'll be here. Let them come, then.

Can't stay here, Peter.

Drive around once more. Bollocks.

See, I just want your company...

...for a little while longer.

That fucker's dead. No, we are.

You don't know what you're doin', Dil.

Never did.

sh*t. Give me the sh**t. What? You're crazy!

Give me the f*ckin' sh**t, Jude! Peter!

Peter!

Do you like me now, Jimmy?

Yeah, I like you, Dil.

Give me a bit more, baby. A bit more.

More what? More endearments.

I like you, Dil. Love me.

Yeah. Tell me you love me.

Whatever you say, Dil. Then say it.

I love you, Dil.

You do?

Yeah.

What would you do for me?

Anything.

Say it again.

I'd do anything for ya, Dil.

You'd never leave me?

Never.

I know you're lying, Jimmy, but it's nice to hear it.

I'm sorry.

You stupid sh*t!

Once was bad enough, but twice?

You didn't knock, honey.

Dil! Get that thing off me, Fergus!

What was that she called you, Jimmy?

Fergus! It's my name, Dil! What's Fergus?

What happened to Jimmy? I said get her off!

What's she gonna do, Jimmy?

She gonna blow you away? Dil!

Dil! Was she there too...

...when you got my Jody?

Dil! I asked you a question.

Were you there too?

You sick bitch.

Dil! You was there, wasn't you?

You used those tits and that ass to get him, didn't you?

She was there, wasn't she? She was.

She used her tits and that cute little ass to get him, didn't she?

Yes.

Tell me what she wore.

Can't remember.

I can't do it, Jimmy.

He won't let me.

You won't let me, Jody.

You've got to go now, Dil.

Do I? Yes.

Now.

Am I in trouble, Jimmy? Not if you go.

Will I see you again? Yes.

Promise? Promise.

Where am I to go, Jimmy? The Metro.

And meet Col. Yeah.

Say hello to Col.

You shoulda stayed at home.

I got the multivitamins and the iron tablets, hon.

Don't call me that. Sorry, love.

The white one's magnesium supplement. Stop it, Dil.

I've got to keep you healthy, Jimmy. I'm counting the days.

Two thousand, three hundred and thirty-four left.

Thirty-five. I'm sorry, darlin'.

I keep forgetting the leap year. Dil.

What am I supposed to call you then, Jimmy?

Fergus. Fergus.

Fergus. My love. Light of my life.

Please, Dil. Can't help it.

You're doing time for me.

No greater love, as the man says.

I wish you'd tell me why.

As a man said, it's in my nature.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well...

...there's this scorpion, you see...

...and he wants to go across a river.

Well, he can't swim, so...

...he goes to this frog, who naturally enough can swim, and he says...

'Excuse me, Mr. Froggy.

I want to go across the river.

So the frog accepts the idea.

Scorpion hops on the frog's back.

Suddenly, the frog-- 'Aah!' He feels this sting!

You stung me!

Why did you go and do that?

The scorpion looks at him and says...

I can't help it.

It's in my nature.