07x23 - Survival of the Fittest

[bunniefuu]

7.23 Survival of the Fittest

Air Date: 18 May 2012

The episode opens with a montage of the season's events to Kansas's "Carry on Wayward Son."

NOW

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

d*ck ROMAN

How do you take it?

CROWLEY

Alcoholic. Shall we get on with this, then?

d*ck ROMAN

Just extending the hand of hospitality.

CROWLEY

To a mutation like me? Tired of swimming in hot garbage, are we?

d*ck ROMAN

[laughs]That was a little colorful, huh? Well... didn't mean to [he hands CROWLEY a glass]offend.

CROWLEY

Of course you did. So, if you're suddenly calling, I guess you're up to speed on the Winchesters, which means you intercepted the Prophet. And the Prophet told you that my blood is the key to everything. [He drains his drink.]You know what I like about you?

d*ck ROMAN

Lack of pretension?

CROWLEY

You're smarter than you look.

d*ck ROMAN

Oh, well, now you're just flirting.

d*ck ROMAN gets up to pour more drinks.

CROWLEY

Not easy... to k*ll me, but doable. Especially for you lot. You k*ll angels. You can certainly wipe a demon off the board. And yet, here we are, negotiating like proper psychopaths.

d*ck ROMAN

Well, I assume you have a vial of your blood stashed somewhere, and in the event of your death, it goes directly to Sam and Dean. [He hands CROWLEY another drink.]

CROWLEY

See? Smart assumption.

d*ck ROMAN

One can't live on looks alone. Here's my offer.

CROWLEY

All ears.

d*ck ROMAN

Full immunity for you and your constituency. I'm talking free-range grazing for all demonkind. I'm willing to cordon off, say, Canada. You and your crew can work your little deals, have your way with the locals.

CROWLEY

Allof Canada?

d*ck ROMAN

Have it.

CROWLEY

Fair. And down here?

d*ck ROMAN

America's ours. Your sales team stays out – period. That's not up for negotiation. We need America. They're so fat.

CROWLEY

And in exchange?

d*ck ROMAN takes a vial out of his jacket pocket.

d*ck ROMAN

The blood of one sadly unimpressive demon in New Jersey. All I ask is that you give it to Frick and Frack, tell them it's yours, stand back, and let them come to me. [He gives the vial to CROWLEY.]

CROWLEY

I can't deny I long to see those two digested once and for all. You have a deal. I suppose you want it in writing?

d*ck ROMAN

I don't kiss on the mouth.

CROWLEY

Your loss. I just so happen to have a standard rider... [he takes a scroll out of his jacket]right here.

CROWLEY unfurls the scroll, which is very long. d*ck ROMAN grimaces. CROWLEY holds up a magnifying glass.

CROWLEY

I do so like this part. Don't you?

SUPERNATURAL

ACT ONE

CAR – NIGHT

Sam: All right. Exit's in 3 miles.

Dean: I still say this is a bad idea.

Sam: Dean, it was your idea, and it was the best one either of us had.

Dean: I said it as a joke.

Sam: It was a bad joke – good idea.

Dean: Yeah, only because we got no magic spell, no book – nothing on how to find a freakin' righteous bone.

Sam: We can call Castiel again.

Dean: Dude, on my car, he showed up naked... covered in bees.

Sam: Yeah, I'm not really sorry I missed that.

Dean turns on the radio.

Man's Voice ON Radio

...The price of stock hit an all-time high following Roman's acquisition of Sucrocorp. I say Roman's a buy.

Woman's Voice ON Radio

Got to disagree with you there. I'm gonna call him a "wait and watch."

Man's Voice ON Radio

Come on, Lawshe. You're k*lling me.

Woman's Voice ON Radio

Hear me out. This is a new sector for Roman.

Man's Voice ON Radio

That's right. He's holed up at Sucrocorp headquarters right now.

Woman's Voice ON Radio

So sit tight. This –

Dean switches off the radio.

Dean: Holed up at Sucrocorp, huh?

Dean and Sam look at each other.

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – NIGHT

We see a close-up of the large devil's trap in the light fixture. CROWLEY is reading from his scroll.

CROWLEY

"Should the party of the first part…"

We see a close-up of the scroll. It appears to be written in Latin and mentions Sam and Dean Winchester.

CROWLEY

"…fail to inform the party of the second part of his intent…"

d*ck ROMAN

Pause right there. Correct me – that should be "party of the second part vis-a-vis party of the first part," 'cause we just amended clause [CROWLEY mouths the words along with him]314-sub-a. That's right. You should do this professionally.

CROWLEY

Splendid. So, "Should the party of the second part…"

INT. CRYPT – NIGHT

Dean: Well, I guess if we can't find a righteous bone in a friggin' nunnery crypt.

Sam: All right. Here – listen to this. Sister Mary Benedict, uh, taught the learning-impaired and d*ed at age 23.

Dean: Eh, it's a little young. Find someone who's had time to cook.

Sam is reading from a large book.

Sam: Okay, well, there was, uh... here – Sister Mary Eunice. Uh, fed the poor, became Mother Superior at age 60.

Dean: Sounds political. Power corrupts.

Sam: Right. Um... listen to this – Sister Mary Constant, 83 years of quiet, humble nun-like goodness. What do you think?

Dean: Wow. I want to be more righteous just reading this.

Sam: Exactly.

Dean: All right, well, I lay odds on her. Here we go. [He walks over to a plaque bearing the name of Sister Mary Constant.]Well... let's bone this nun. [Sam makes a face.]Sorry.

Dean smashes the coffin with a mallet.

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

CROWLEY

"...in which case, the party of the second part forfeits all rights to Canada ad infinitum." I think we're done here.

d*ck ROMAN

Susan!

Susan enters.

Susan: Yes, sir.

d*ck ROMAN

Take this from Mr. Crowley, make triplicates, get pens and a notary. We're ready to sign this puppy.

INT. Rufus's CABIN – DAY

Dean tosses a lit match into a bowl. Flames rise and then die down. Dean and Sam look around.

Dean: Is he trying to make a grand entrance or...?

Sam: I don't know...

Dean: Son of a bitch. He's standing us up.

Sam: Well, we summoned him. Doesn't he kind of have to –

Dean: If Crowley wants to screw you, he'll screw you.

Sam: Or... he can'tcome 'cause something went wrong.

Dean: Maybe.

There is a knock at the door. Sam takes out his g*n.

Dean: Maybe it's good news.

Sam looks through a hole in the door, then opens the door to let in Meg.

Meg: You deal with him. I can't anymore.

Dean: You might want to be more specific.

Meg: I was laying low halfway across the world when emo boy pops up out of nowhere and zaps me right back here.

Dean: Why?

Meg: Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first.

EXT. Rufus's CABIN – DAY

"Vincent" by Don Maclean plays.

♪ Look out on a summer's day ♪
♪ with eyes that know the darkness in my soul ♪
♪ Shadows on the hills ♪

Dean walks over to a vehicle parked in front of the cabin. Castiel is sitting in the driver's seat.

♪ Sketch the trees... ♪

Dean leans in the open passenger window.

Dean: Hey, there.

Castiel raises a hand in greeting.

♪ ...and the daffodils ♪
♪ Catch the breeze and the winter chills ♪

Dean straightens up, closes his eyes, shakes his head and sighs before leaning in the passenger window again.

♪ in colors on the snowy linen land ♪

Dean: So, Cas, what's, uh, what's, uh, what's the word?

♪ Now I understand ♪

Castiel: Well, Dean, I've been thinking. Monkeys are so... clever, and they're sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?

♪ Perhaps they'll listen now ♪

Dean: Not very. You want to come inside and, uh, tell us what's going on?

INT. Rufus's CABIN – DAY

Castiel: Now, you understand I don't participate in aggressive activity.

Castiel picks up a bone and sniffs it.

Castiel: Mm. Sister Mary Constant. Good choice.

Dean: Why'd you go to Meg, Cas?

Castiel: When I left, I wanted to observe the flowers – and fruit. Flowers come first, obviously. But I heard nothing from them.

Sam: You heard nothing from who?

Castiel: The Garrison.

Sam: What happened to the Garrison?

Castiel: Well, finally, the silence was deafening, so I went to look... to the home of the Prophet. You know, Leviathan can k*ll angels. There's a reason why Father locked them in Purgatory. They're the Piranha that would eat the whole aquarium. They're gone. The entire Garrison – dead. If there's anyone left at all, they're in hiding.

Dean: Um, I'm sorry. If the angels are dead, where's Kevin?

Castiel: I could steal them from their cages, the monkeys. But where would I put them all?

Dean: Hey! [He claps his hands.]Focus. Is Kevin alive?

Castiel: I don't want to fight.

Dean: No, I'm not – [very calmly]we're worried.

Castiel: They took him. He's alive. I felt such responsibility, but it's in your hands now.

Dean: Wait. Hold on a freakin' minute.

Castiel: I feel much better.

Meg: Guys, what's all that?

Meg looks at Sam and Dean's spell paraphernalia.

Sam: We called Crowley.

Meg: You what?

Dean: Don't worry. He never showed.

Meg: What do you mean never –

Dean: Do you see him anywhere? He stood us up.

Meg: Well, I'm sorry about that, but I'm outie. He could still sh–

CROWLEY

Show up at any time. Hello, boys. Sorry I'm late. This isan embarrassment of riches.

ACT TWO

INT. Rufus's CABIN – DAY

CROWLEY

[to Meg]Stay, won't you. There's really nowhere to run.

Meg runs for the door, but CROWLEY appears in front of her, blocking her exit.

CROWLEY

Don't even think of smoking out, pussycat. I've got eyes all over the place.

Castiel: Leave her be.

CROWLEY

Castiel. When last we spoke, you – well, enslaved me. I'm confused. Why aren't you dead?

Castiel: I... don't know.

CROWLEY

Well, do you want> to be? 'Cause I can help with that.

Dean: All right, enough.

CROWLEY

It's enough when I say. I came here to help you. I find out you've been lying to me, harboring an angel, and not just any angel – the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth.

Meg: Oh, so you can crush angels now, huh?

CROWLEY

You bore me. You know that? You have no sense of poetry. [to Castiel]Now, what do you have to say for yourself?

Castiel: Well, I'm still, uh, honing my communication strategy. I haven't even been back to Heaven. I-I keep thinking there are no insects up there, but here we have... [Dean exchanges a look with CROWLEY]trillions. You know, they're making honey and silk and... miracles, really.

CROWLEY

What are you talking about?

Castiel: Um, preferring insects to angels, I guess. Here. I can offer a token, if you like. [He holds up a plastic bag containing a yellow substance.]It's honey. I-I collected it myself.

CROWLEY and Dean exchange another look.

CROWLEY

You're off your rocker. He's off his rocker – is that it? Karma's a bitch, isn't it?

CROWLEY helps himself to a glass of whiskey on the table.

Dean: Look, did you come here to, uh, donkey-punch [CROWLEY sniffs the whiskey and puts the glass back down]your old grudges or to help us end d*ck? Pick a battle.

CROWLEY

Well, I'm vexed. I'd like to do both. But where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur? Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose. Meanwhile... [he takes a vial of blood out of his jacket pocket]a prezzie.

Sam: Really? Just boxed-up and ready to go?

CROWLEY

I'm a model of efficiency.

Sam: Is that right? Then why were you late?

CROWLEY

d*ck had me in a devil trap. He's not an idiot. He knows what you two are after.

Sam: So what did he offer you?

CROWLEY

A fair deal. In exchange for giving you the wrong blood. It's demon, but is it mine? [pause]It's my blood. Real deal.

Dean: And why should we trust you?

CROWLEY

Good God, don't. Never trust anyone. A lesson I learned from my last business partner. [He looks at Castiel.]

Dean: All right. Give us the blood.

CROWLEY

Certainly. Oh, bonus. Meg, I'm gonna scoop you up, take you home, and roast you till you're jerky. [Castiel starts to move towards CROWLEY.]But not... yet. Cas can have you for now. Hilariously, it seems he'd be upset at losing you. And the boys need Cas to get d*ck. Don't they, Cas?

Castiel: Oh, I – I don't fight anymore.

CROWLEY

Come on. Given the particulars of your enemy, sadly, you're vital.

CROWLEY tosses the vial of blood to Sam.

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

The MAID is walking down the street carrying a newspaper with an article about d*ck ROMAN. She tries to open the passenger door of a pick-up. We see Bobby's reflection in the window. The MAID reaches for a mallet in the back of the pick-up. There is a sizzling noise, the MAID flies backwards with a yell and Bobby emerges.

Bobby: Son of a bitch! Pure iron. Damn it. [He looks at the MAID.]All right. My mistake. Let's go.

Maid: No! [She gets to her feet.]You stay away from me. Will you please let me go home?

Bobby looks at the newspaper on the ground. The headline reads "d*ck Roman nominated for Man of Year."

Bobby: I need you.

Maid: No.

The MAID turns to run away, but Bobby engulfs her and possesses her again.

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

d*ck ROMAN and Susan are walking down a hallway, both looking at their phones.

Susan: Powerpoint presentation's on your desk for approval, sir.

d*ck ROMAN

Great. Susan, do I look like a fool?

Susan: Not in that particular body, no.

d*ck ROMAN

Good. Have I told you there are three rules to contract negotiation? Bring breath mints, get it in writing, and have a plan for when they screw you. Go to the freezer.

Susan: The arm?

d*ck ROMAN

Yep, the arm. Thatagirl.

d*ck ROMAN enters an office.

CUT TO: KEVIN trying to open a locked door. He gives up and walks away from the door. Behind him, a LEVIATHAN opens the door and a Girl, who is chewing gum, enters.

LEVIATHAN

Sit. Stay.

The Girl sits down in a chair and the LEVIATHAN leaves and closes the door.

KEVIN

I'm Kevin.

Girl: Polly.

KEVIN

What are you doing here?

POLLY

Sitting. I guess.

KEVIN

Are you a prophet?

POLLY takes a bite of a stick of red licorice and doesn't answer.

KEVIN

So... basically, I'm on my own, then.

INT. Rufus's CABIN – DAY

Dean: Well, one thing's for sure – we only get one sh*t.

Sam is holding the vial of blood that CROWLEY gave them above a table holding a bowl of blood, other containers of blood and candles.

Dean: This thing don't reload.

Sam: You think Crowley's, uh...

Dean: Double-crossing us?

Sam: Yeah.

Dean: You've got to figure who he wants dead more – us or d*ck.

Sam: Depends what d*ck offered. Here we go. [He pours the blood from the vial into the bowl.]Okay. Um… [He picks up the bowl]so do we, uh...

Dean: Uh, there's no magic words – nothing. We just... just go.

Sam: All right, then.

Sam pours the blood from the bowl onto the Sister Mary Constant's bone, which is in another bowl. He and Dean wait, but nothing happens.

Dean: Where's all the thunder and lightning?

Sam: Uh... maybeit worked?

Dean: Awesome.

We hear the sound of angel wings and a hand appears on Dean's shoulder. The hand belongs to Castiel, who is holding plates of sandwiches.

Castiel: So, none of this should cause you any ill effect. I went to a little farm in Normandy for the wheat and the lettuce and tomato and – and I thoroughly examined and comforted the pig before I... slaughtered it for the ham. Here. [He holds a plate out to Dean.]You need your strength.

Dean takes the plate.

Dean: Thanks, Cas.

Castiel holds the other plate out to Sam, but Sam doesn't take it.

Sam: And Cas, why was Crowley so certain that you need to come with us?

Castiel: Crowley's wrong. I'll be waiting right here. But please – accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity.

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

d*ck ROMAN is adjusting his tie.

Susan: Morning, sir. [She places a large container on his desk.]Delegates are on their way.

d*ck ROMAN

Perfect. We're gonna want everything in place before they get here. Send in the security detail, would you?

Susan leaves and d*ck ROMAN opens the container. Inside is a hand and forearm, on which is a watch.

d*ck ROMAN

Hello Mr. Roman. Nice watch.

CUT TO: the office in which KEVIN and POLLY are being held. The LEVIATHAN enters and hangs a suit bag on the wall.

LEVIATHAN

Get dressed.

The LEVIATHAN leaves. POLLY stands up and starts unbuttoning her blouse.

KEVIN

Why does he want you to...?

KEVIN looks at hair pins in a clear plastic bag attached to the suit bag.

EXT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

d*ck ROMAN and Susan are walking towards three black vehicles that are pulling up outside the building. The driver of each vehicle gets out and opens the rear door for men in suits to get out. The first man shakes hands with d*ck ROMAN and Susan.

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

POLLY is standing in the middle of the room wearing a gray dress. KEVIN is sitting at a desk. The LEVIATHAN enters, carrying a tray containing a burger, fries and a bottle of water. He puts the tray down in front of KEVIN.

KEVIN

I'm a vegan.

LEVIATHAN

You ready, Polly?

POLLYS murmurs an assent. The LEVIATHAN leads her from the room. KEVIN takes a drink from his water bottle. After the LEVIATHAN closes the door, KEVIN uses a hair pin to try to open it.

CUT TO: the board room. Men and women in suits are sitting around the table. d*ck ROMAN stands at the head of the table.

d*ck ROMAN

Well, I'm pleased as punch to see you all here. Last time we were in one room, it was inside that angel. [The leviathans around the table laugh.]Now, as key players, I need you up to speed on every aspect of the program, not just the sudden influx of happy, delicious stoners in your neighborhood. [d*ck ROMAN takes a piece of sushi from a platter on the table.]Oh. Eat up. The sushi's made of fresh orphan.

Woman LEVIATHAN

[with a pleased expression, softly]Oh!

d*ck ROMAN

All righty. The slaughterhouses – cutting-edge, humane, efficient. First one goes online next month.

We see POLLY sitting in a chair in a corner of the room.

MALE LEVIATHAN

What's the crowd-control strategy?

d*ck ROMAN

Glad you asked. We've laid employees at key junctures of law enforcement, starting with the 911 call. Everyone feels taken care of…

KEVIN is listening outside the door.

d*ck ROMAN

…everyone stays calm. We'll up the dose just before harvest time. They won't feel a thing.

d*ck ROMAN presses a button on a remote and a map of the United States appears on a screen. The map is divided into regions labeled Labor, Testing and Livestock.

d*ck ROMAN

We're taking a regional approach. Ohio: beta-testing. Wisconsin: processing. Florida: breeding program.

Outside the door, KEVIN flinches and turns to leave.

d*ck ROMAN

If you'll flip to page 10, you'll see we're having a ball buying fertility clinics. Real juicy stuff.

KEVIN walks down the hallway towards the exit. Susan appears in front of him.

Susan: Why are you out of your cage, mouse?

d*ck ROMAN

But now I want to talk to you about something I'm really excited about. [He nods to the LEVIATHAN standing next to POLLY, who then guides POLLY to the front of the room.]Everyone... meet Polly.

EXT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – NIGHT

Dean and Sam pull up outside the Sucrocorp building. Sam is typing on his laptop.

Dean: You got it yet?

Sam: Here we go.

The laptop screen shows footage from the board room, where the meeting is still in progress.

Sam: Thank you, Charlie, wherever you are.

Dean: Got you, d*ck.

Sam: Yeah, that's, uh, the second floor [The laptop screen changes to footage of d*ck ROMAN alone at his desk], and – and then – what's that?

Dean: What the hell? Is that d*ck?

The laptop screen now shows footage of d*ck ROMAN walking along a hallway.

Sam: And that'sd*ck.

Dean: Son of a bitch.

[i]INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – NIGHT

d*ck ROMAN, POLLY, and the LEVIATHAN minding her are standing at the front of the board room.

d*ck ROMAN

So, genetic propensity for these three cancers – zapped. She's too stoned to care. Polly, take off your dress. [She does so.]She's a slip of a thing, isn't she? And she eats like a linebacker. Bottom line – we're not making art. We want to engineer the perfect beast. We want meat, and these zippy little hummingbirds have to be bred out fast.

The LEVIATHAN next to POLLY holds a syringe containing white liquid.

d*ck ROMAN

Additive 3.0. [The LEVIATHAN hands the syringe to d*ck ROMAN.]Keep in mind, the stuff we're shipping – a little diluted, longer-acting.

d*ck ROMAN inject the liquid into POLLY's arm. She makes only a soft noise of pain. After a few moments, she starts to gurgle and white liquid spills from her mouth. Her eyes roll back in her head and she falls to the ground. She convulses and then lies still.

d*ck ROMAN

Additive 3.0 targets only the characteristics we want to breed out.

d*ck ROMAN shows a slide: Liquidation Index

• Low body mass

• Vertically challenged

• Hemophilia

• IQ > 150

d*ck ROMAN

It'll be added in nondairy creamer and multivitamins. First shipment heads to Los Angeles tomorrow. So watch those dysentery reports. And stop by the lab before you go, 'cause those creamer cups are just adorable.

EXT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – NIGHT

Dean and Sam are still sitting in their car.

Dean: Cycle through again.

Sam: That's the maid from the motel.

Dean: What motel?

Sam watches through binoculars as the MAID heads for the Sucrocorp building.

Sam: Oh, no. Oh, Bobby, what are you doing?

Dean: Wait. Are you saying that Bobby –

Sam: Look, just, uh, wait here.

Dean: Are you out of your mind?

Sam: You got the w*apon, and – and eyes on d*ck, plural. I'll take care of Bobby. [He gets out of the car.]

Dean: Sam! Hey!

Sam: Shut up.

Sam runs after the MAID.

ACT THREE

EXT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – NIGHT

The MAID walks around the back of the building. Sam appears in front of her.

Sam: Bobby? I know you're in there. Listen to me. There are cameras everywhere. [He points to a security camera.]There's one right there. Stop, okay? You're gonna get her k*lled.

The MAID pushes Sam and he falls backwards onto the ground. We see the security footage of the parking area behind the building in black and white.

Sam: Bobby! Damn it! [Sam scrambles to his feet.]How are you gonna k*ll d*ck, huh? You can't!

The MAID takes out a large Kn*fe.

Maid: Good enough for me.

The MAID slashes at Sam with the Kn*fe. He glances up at the moving security camera, grabs the MAID and ducks behind a parked vehicle.

Sam: No! I'm not letting you go.

Maid: Get out of here, Sam.

Sam: No.

The MAID slams Sam against the vehicle and grips him by the throat. Sam chokes and the MAID's face contorts with the effort of strangling him.

Sam: Bobby, stop. Stop.

Bobby sees his reflection in the vehicle's window.

Bobby: No!

The MAID lets Sam go. Bobby leaves her body and disappears. The MAID falls to the ground. Sam gasps for a moment, then picks her up.

INT. Rufus's CABIN – DAY

Dean is sitting with his hands clasped, looking at the flask. Sam is on the phone.

Sam: Okay, thanks.

Sam hangs up. Meg is drinking a beer.

Sam: She's fine. Checking out of the hospital tonight.

Castiel: Well, that's positive. [He holds out a plate containing a sandwich to Sam.]

Meg: Tell me again why you turned tail for some maid. [Castiel puts a sandwich in front of Dean.]You were right there.

Dean: Shut up, Meg.

Sam: Because d*ck made more Dicks. [Castiel and Dean look at him.]He must've kept a chunk of the original d*ck Roman somewhere. Uh, they'd all have to touch it.

Castiel is drying dishes.

Dean: Hey, shifty, what's your problem?

Castiel: Do we need a cat? Doesn't this place feel one species short?

Dean: You got anything to say on the topic of Dicks? Crowley was pretty sure that you could help.

Castiel: I can't help. You understand? I can't. I desTroyed... everything, and I will desTroy everything again. Can we please just leave it at that?

Dean: No. [He gets up.]No, we can't.

Sam: Dean...

Dean: We can't leave it. You let these friggin' things in. So you don't get to make a sandwich. You don't get a damned cat. Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas. Clean up your mess!

Castiel puts down the dish he is holding and walks over to Dean.

Castiel: You know... we should play Twister.

Sam and Dean look at each other. Castiel disappears.

Meg: Nice. You scared off the Empire's only hope.

Dean: Meaning?

Meg: It occur to you every one of those things was in Cas? He knows them. He can see past the meat suits.

Sam: So, he'll be able to spot the real... fake d*ck Roman.

Meg: Gold star, sugarpants. Too bad he's Fruit Loops. You might've had a chance.

Dean hears a noise behind him and turns. Castiel is playing Twister on the floor.

EXT. Rufus's CABIN – NIGHT

INT. Rufus's CABIN – NIGHT

Dean is looking at footage from the Sucrocorp office on the laptop.

Dean: There's no real point in looking for a tell. They all downloaded d*ck's brain. They've all got the Same tells.

Sam: All right, then maybe the question is, what would the real d*ck be doing?

Bobby appears.

Bobby: Is that the best you can do? Idjits.

Sam: Bobby. We didn't know if you'd, uh –

Bobby: Well, you should've. You got the flask. Dumb. You should've b*rned it right off.

Dean: Bobby –

Bobby: I'm still jonesing to go back... grab some poor bastard, kamikaze 'em going after d*ck. It's bad.

The laptop plays a news interview with d*ck ROMAN.

d*ck ROMAN

America is for go-getters. Folks who get off their butts and make it happen.

Dean closes the laptop.

Bobby: Let's be real. [to Sam]I damn near k*lled you. And that woman.

Sam: It wasn't your fault, Bobby – not really.

Bobby: Right. That's just what ghosts turn into. I really bet the farm I could outsmart that.

Dean: So, what's it feel like?

Bobby: What? Going vengeful? It's an itch you can't scratch out. Look... I'm done. Go get d*ck. But don't do it 'cause you think it'll scratch the itch. Do it 'cause it's the job. And when it's your time... go.

Sam and Dean look sadly at Bobby.

CUT TO: a close-up of burning coals.

Sam and Dean share a long look with Bobby.

Bobby: Here's to... running into you guys on the other side. Only... not too soon. All right?

Dean tosses the flask (minus its leather cover) onto the coals. It slowly melts. We see the light from Bobby burning up reflected on Dean and Sam's faces. The flask continues to melt and the light goes out. Dean and Sam look sadly at each other. Castiel watches from the stairs.

ACT FOUR

INT. Rufus's CABIN – DAY

Castiel is playing Uno at the table. Dean walks over to him.

Dean: Cas, I need a wingman.

Castiel: Dean...

Dean: You don't want to jump into the jaws of death, that's... fine. How about we run a little errand?

INT. BARN – DAY

Inside the barn we can see a boat and a vehicle is covered with a tarp. We hear the sound of angel wings and then see Dean and Castiel standing near the covered vehicle.

Dean: Thanks for the lift.

Castiel: My pleasure. [Dean starts towards the vehicle.]Dean...

Dean: [turning back to Castiel]Cas, we've been over it. I get it – you can't help.

Castiel: If we att*ck d*ck and fail, then you and Sam die heroically, correct?

Dean: I don't know. I guess.

Castiel: And at best, I die trying to fix my own stupid mistake. Or... I don'tdie – I'm brought back again. I see now. It's a punishment resurrection. It's worse every time.

Dean: I'm sorry. Uh, we're talking about God crap, right?

Castiel: I'm not good luck, Dean.

Dean: Yeah, but you know what? Bottom of the ninth, and you're the only guy left on the bench... Sorry, but I'd rather have you, cursed or not. And anyway, nut up, all right? We're all cursed. I seem like good luck to you? [Castiel stares at Dean.]What?

Castiel: Well, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I detect a note of forgiveness.

Dean: Yeah, well, I'm probably gonna die tomorrow, so...

Castiel: Well, I'll go with you. And I'll do my best.

Dean smiles slightly and nods.

Dean: Thanks.

Castiel: So... can I ask the plan?

Dean: Well, according to Crowley, d*ck knows we're coming, so we're gonna announce ourselves – big.

EXT. ROAD – DAY

A vehicle approaches from a distance. As it gets closer, we see that it is the Impala. Steppenwolf's "Born to be Wild" begins to play. We see close-ups of various parts of the car.

♪ Get your motor runnin' ♪

The Impala skids slightly after taking a corner.

♪ Head out on the highway ♪
♪ Lookin' for adventure ♪

The Impala skids again rounding the corner towards security boom gates.

♪ in whatever comes our way ♪

The Impala crashes through the security boom gates and skids again.

♪ Yeah, darlin', go and make it happen ♪
♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪
♪ Fire all your g*ns at once ♪

The Impala heads directly for Sucrocorp's main sign.

♪ and explode into space ♪

The Impala crashes through the sign, coming to a stop in a shower of breaking glass. Three LEVIATHANS with g*ns come out of the Sucrocorp building. Meg gets out of the driver's seat of the Impala. The LEVIATHANS sh**t at the Impala, breaking the driver's side window, and at Meg. Meg carries a bottle of Power Clean and a long Kn*fe.

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

Sam enters the building through a door marked "Exit."

EXT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

Meg grunts as b*ll*ts hit her in the chest.

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

Dean and Castiel look around a corner in the building and then walk down a hallway.

CUT TO: Sam opening a door to Room 427.

EXT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

Meg throws Power Clean onto the face of one of the LEVIATHANS. He screams in pain.

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

Sam comes out of Room 427 and walks down the hallway.

EXT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

Two LEVIATHANS are lying decapitated on the ground. Meg is splattered with black goo. Meg watches as a third LEVIATHAN's face burns, then cuts off his head.

Meg: Later, ho nuggets.

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

Dean looks around a corner at d*ck ROMAN sitting at the head of the board room table. He motions for Castiel, who is behind him, to look. Castiel does so and shakes his head.

EXT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

Meg is walking outside the building. Two DEMONS appear behind her. One of the DEMONS flings out an arm and Meg flies backwards and slides along the ground. She sits up.

Demon: The King of Hell will see you now.

INT. SUCROCORP OFFICE – DAY

Sam bursts open a closed office door. KEVIN is bound to a chair and gagged.

Sam: Kevin. Hey, buddy. We got to hustle, okay?

Sam cuts KEVIN free and KEVIN removes the tape over his mouth.

KEVIN

Wait. We can't leave yet.

Sam: Uh, yeah, we can. It's okay. We got to go.

KEVIN

You don't understand. d*ck's got creamer in his lab. He's gonna k*ll all the skinny people.

Sam: Wait. What? Slow down.

KEVIN

We have to blow up the lab, Sam. Please.

Sam looks around in indecision.

Sam: Yeah, fine. Let's go.

CUT TO: d*ck ROMAN holding up a creamer in the lab.

d*ck ROMAN

You know, I think this might end up the slickest little genocide in history.

A LEVIATHAN next to him is packing creamers into a box.

LEVIATHAN

Thank you, sir.

d*ck ROMAN

Just sayin'. I smell "promotion."

d*ck ROMAN takes a few steps across the room and drinks the creamer. There is a noise behind him and he turns. The LEVIATHAN is lying decapitated on the floor. Dean and Castiel stand over him, Castiel carrying a bottle of Power Clean and Dean a machete.

d*ck ROMAN

Little abrupt... but okay.

Dean sheathes the machete.

d*ck ROMAN

Castiel. Good to see you again. Thanks for the ride into paradise.

Dean takes out a bloodstained bone that is sharpened to a point at one end.

d*ck ROMAN

And good on you! Pulling that together – A-plus.

Dean: Oh, you don't think this'll work, do you? You trust that demon?

d*ck ROMAN

You sure I'm even me, Dean?

Dean: No. But he is. [d*ck ROMAN looks at Castiel.]See, here's the thing when dealing with Crowley – he will alwaysfind a way to bone you.

d*ck ROMAN

This meeting's over.

Castiel moves towards d*ck ROMAN, but d*ck ROMAN grabs him and flings him into a wall. Dean plunges the bone into d*ck ROMAN's chest. d*ck ROMAN gasps, but then pulls the bone out and snaps it in two.

d*ck ROMAN

Did you really think you could Tr*mp me?

Dean: Honestly? [He takes another bone out of his jacket.]No.

Castiel pulls d*ck ROMAN's head back. Dean plunges the bone sideways through d*ck ROMAN's neck. d*ck ROMAN yells. Sam and KEVIN run into the room. d*ck ROMAN continues to yell and gurgle.

Dean: Figured we'd have to catch you off guard.

d*ck ROMAN's face transforms into the Leviathan enormous mouth with long pointed teeth and a protruding tongue. He roars briefly before his face returns to normal. He grunts and black goo starts to run from his nose. Waves of energy begin to pulsate from his body in time with a loud, accelerating heartbeat. The energy then appears to concentrate back in his body. Sam flings up an arm to cover his face and KEVIN as d*ck ROMAN explodes into black goo.

ACT FIVE

INT. SUCROCORP LAB – DAY

Sam is still sheltering KEVIN. He straightens up and looks around the room, which is splattered with black goo.

KEVIN

Sam, we should go.

Sam: What the hell?

KEVIN

More chompers any second, Sam.

CROWLEY

Not to worry. I have a small army of demons outside. Cut off the head, and the body will flounder, after all. Think if you'd had just one king since before the first sunrise. You'd be in a kerfuffle, too.

Sam: Which is exactly what you wanted.

CROWLEY

So did you. Without a master plan, the Levis are just another monster. Hard to stomp, sure, but you love a challenge. Your job is to keep them from organizing.

Sam: Where's Dean?

CROWLEY

That bone... has a bit of a kick. God weapons often do. They should put a warning on the box.

Sam: Where are they, Crowley?!

CROWLEY

Can't help you, Sam.

CROWLEY snaps his fingers and the two DEMONS who accosted Meg appear on either side of KEVIN.

CROWLEY

Sorry, Sam. Prophet's mine.

CROWLEY snaps his fingers and KEVIN and the DEMONS disappear.

CROWLEY

You got what you wanted – d*ck's dead, saved the world. So I want one little prophet. Sorry, moose. Wish I could help. You certainly got a lot on your plate right now. It looks like you are well and truly... on your own.

We hear another snap of fingers. Sam looks around the empty room in distress.

EXT. FOREST – NIGHT

Dean is lying on the ground.

Castiel: Wake up. [Dean opens his eyes and sits up.]Good. We need to get out of here.

Dean stands up.

Dean: Where are we?

Castiel: You don't know?

Dean: Last I remember, we ganked d*ck.

Castiel: And where would he go in death?

Dean: Wait. Are you telling me...?

Castiel: Every soul here is a monster. [There is a rustling in the trees.]This is where they come to prey upon each other for all eternity.

Dean: We're in Purgatory? How do we get out?

Castiel: I'm afraid we're much more likely to be ripped to shreds.

Dean turns and sees two large creatures with red eyes watching him.

Dean: Cas, I think we better –

Castiel has disappeared.

Dean: Cas?

Dean looks around the dark, desolate forest and hears the rustling of the watching monsters.

END