02x03 - Helgaween-a-Rooney

[bunniefuu]

Hey ooh.

Did you play your last game of basketball under a car?

Your blouse is, um, filthy, Maddie.

First of all, it's not a blouse.

It's my Jersey, and by Jersey I mean Halloween costume.

Bam!

Boo!

Okay, so Halloween is the one night of the year that you can go as whatever you want, and you chose a basketball player.

No.

A dead basketball player!

Yeah, Willow and I are going to Screamfest as team death.

Oh, speaking of Screamfest.

So, I have been thinking about the theme no, Liv, when you say "thinking," you mean "changing," and these details have been locked.

I mean, the theme is death.

Right, um, I just think that death has been kind of You know, done to death.

And as your new Screamfest co-chair, I have come up with a new theme, so you might want to sit down so you can rise to applaud me.

It's gonna be more dramatic.

No?

Okay.

So I have come up with a theme that is so fright-tacular, so scare-diculous, that Screamfest will never be the same again.

Are you ready?

The theme is Brown!

- Brown?

- Yeah.

That's not a theme, that's a carpet color.

Well, we might as well make the theme I uh turtle necks.

Those are terrifying.

You know what?

We should dog-ear that for next year.

Liv, I'm being serious.

Screamfest is supposed to be scary.

And it will be.

I mean, no one looks good in brown.

All right, come here.

Look me in the eyes.

I'm going to even say this in slow motion so that it can really sink in, yeah?

No-o-o-o-o-o.

Great, so you're gonna think about it.

Maddie?

Maddie?

Maddie!

Look what I found.

Your child peacefully sleeping, trying to rest her growing teenage body?

I haven't had a nap since you were born, so too bad, so sad.

Mmm!

I remember this.

This is from my old Halloween costume, right?

Mm-hmm, you were six.

You and Liv were wizards And Joey was a kitten being eaten by a shark.

Things went wrong so young for that boy.

Yeah, and Liv fought me so hard for this because she was convinced that it had magical powers.

Okay, it does have magical powers.

I mean, Maddie wished to be a great basketball player and I wished to be famous.

So Man, I love Halloween.

Not nearly as much though as I love walking around without my knee brace.

Now that your knee's so strong, our hypnotherapy sessions will get your mental edge back in a snap.

That's so weird.

When you snapped just now, I had this sudden urge to go clean the entire kitchen.

Huh.

I wonder where that came from.

Mother, father, we're so happy to see you.

Have you been working out, dad?

Show me the g*ns.

Bang!

Bang!

Whoa, papa got swole.

Okay, holster the g*ns, Pete.

This much butt-smoochery can only mean that they want something.

Still feels nice.

So we were wondering spill it so we can k*ll it.

We want to go to mutilator Mike's haunted house of terrifying frights and scares.

There's a mad scientist, he clones himself but the clones turn on him, unscrew the top of his skull, and eat his brains like a bowl of cereal.

But the brains are rotted, so there's squirming maggots You're not going.

Guys, we discussed this.

Mutilator Mike's is not age-appropriate.

How is it not age-appropriate for me?

I am in my prime maggot years.

The movie "pony princess" gave you nightmares.

It was a horse in a dress, mother, can you blame me?

Come on, mom.

Isn't there any way we could go?

Yeah, well, you know, there might be one way.

What is it?

What is it?

You could clone yourselves and we'd never know you left.

Hey-y!

How cruel can you be?

You know I'm still five years from mastering cloning technology.

Mom, that's Willow!

Team death is off to Screamfest.

Yeah, okay.

There is definitely someone in there who is too old to be trick-or-treating.

So b*at it, bear.

Wait!

Don't k*ll my childlike sense of wonder.

Willow?

Wait, I'm sorry, what are you wearing?

You're supposed to be in your team death Jersey.

It's my brown costume.

Liv texted the whole school and said you guys decided to change the theme.

Go big and go brown!

Go home and go change!

What - are you serious?

- Yeah.

I told her that we're not gonna do her stupid brown theme.

Seriously, go home.

Go change, I'm not kidding.

Thank you, bye.

Some days, I just really wish I wasn't born a twin.

Okay No, thank you.

That's really creepy.

Liv!

You told the whole school that we changed the Screamfest theme to brown?

I told you no.

Be quiet.

Willow?

How did you get up here so fast?

And how did you change so quick?

Shh!

You will wake her.

The beast stirs.

That's her angry walk.

I'm out of here.

Uh, okay, who are we talking about?

- Helga.

- Who's Helga?

Oo-oh.

You have disturbed my beauty sleep!

Wow!

- You are definitely Helga.

- Silence!

Oh!

Okay.

Ow, wedgie.

How's she doing that?

It's a Helga wedgie.

She just thinks it and it happens.

Kneel before Helga, the Alpha triplet.

Triplets?

What is going on?

We're not triplets, we're twins!

Oh I wished not to be a twin.

That stupid amulet is magic!

Who are you people?

Why are you staring at Helga?!

Sister triplets, prepare for helgafest.

Um, don't you mean Screamfest?

Helgafest!

If you cannot listen, I will clean your ears.

Ew!

Oh, no no no no no.

Oh, that's so gross.

That's actually wet.

Helga off to feed pet cockroach Then to eat it.

Okay, so Helga's a freaky nightmare.

How do you put up with that?

Well, it's like we always say Maddie: Sisters by chance, friends by force.

Ah, this amulet is perfect for foot scratching.

Have you two seen my magic wish amulet?

Um, no idea what you're talking about.

When someone's looking for something with magic in the name, you don't just hand it over.

Did you guys know that there is a triplet named Helga living in our attic?

Duh.

She grew too big for that dragon egg she hatched out of.

Don't tell her I said that.

That stupid amulet made us triplets!

It's supposed to be Liv and Maddie, not Liv and Maddie and Helga!

Oh, owsies.

Was that Liv?

Yeah, Helga probably threw her off the roof again.

What?!

Why would Helga do that?

So she has something soft to land on.

Helga jumps!

Double owsies.

Helga is ready.

We go now!

Oh!

Ooh!

Wow!

Okay.

Helga wedgie, I guess I go now.

Ooh, I go now.

A magic amulet?

A world without Helga?

Well, Maddie's finally lost it.

I know, right?

Hey, magic amulet, I wish we had clones of ourselves so we could go to mutilator Mike's.

Ooh.

Witchcraft!

Ugh, nice job, munch.

If that thing had any sh*t of being magic, it's ruined now.

Dude, relax.

We'll rinse it off.

For the record, hummus does not shield magical powers.

Hey, you don't know that.

Hummus is a very powerful spread.

Whoo!

Whoa.

Cheerio, mates.

The name's plus.

Parker plus.

Come along then, ooey.

Chop chop.

We have clones!

We have clones!

We have clones!

Wow, the amulet really was magic.

Ooey, ooey, ooey.

Ooey.

Ooey.

Ooey says it's jolly good to meet you blokes, and he has an itch.

Ooey.

He found the spot.

Okay, is it just me or is my clone Like, the coolest guy ever?

Ooey.

It's just you.

Ooey, ooey.

Ooey.

The poor lad says he was starting to take form when something went wonky.

Like the magic was shielded somehow.

See?

Told you hummus!

I don't care what happened to him.

I love him just the way he is.

Hi, little fella.

Ooey.

Okay, here's the deal: We are going to a haunted house.

You two are staying here to distract our parents.

Yeah, yeah, and if they ask any questions, your tux is your Halloween costume.

Tell them you're going as Parker with class.

And you're going as Eh, they probably won't notice the difference.

Helga is near!

Do not run or we will hunt you down and you will wind up like our math teacher, Mr. cove!

He gave Helga a "c"!

She arrives!

All hail Helga!

- All hail Helga!

- All hail Helga!

- All hail Helga!

- All hail Helga!

Yeah, things have definitely taken a little turn for the crazy.

Helga declares helgafest open!

More fish for Helga!

Ooey, stop that.

I'm making us a spot of supper.

Ooey, ooey, ooey.

Ooh, Parker, you're cooking.

How unusual.

And Joey, you're licking a chicken.

How Joey.

Ooey, ooey, ooey.

Oh, I get it.

That's your Halloween costume you're gonna be talking like that all night.

No, that's not gonna get annoying.

So, what are you making?

Well, the cupboards are dreadfully bare, but I believe I can whip up a lovely pot pie.

Oh, heavens.

We don't have any meat.

I'm stymied.

Oo-eey?

Ooey, no, that's ghastly.

Ooey?

Righty-o, they're not really our mum and dad.

Parent pot pie it is.

W-why are you doing this?

We're sorry.

Look look, you can go to the haunted house.

Simmer down, mumsy.

"Simmer. " Oh, I'm terrible.

Time's up, carvers.

Reveal your work.

Approved.

Approved.

Unacceptable!

Maddie, what are you doing?

Helga said to keep our hoods on.

Yeah, I am done with Helga.

If giant skeleton and wolf guy had a baby, they would not be nearly as bad as her.

Okay, well what are you gonna do?

We're triplets.

No, we're not.

We're twins, and I know that deep down inside part of you still knows that.

I just, like, really need you to go distract Helga, so that I can sneak out, get the amulet and save us.

Okay, Maddie, you are making literally no sense, but if there is even the tiniest chance that we can get rid of Helga, I'm in.

I mean, I am done sharing a bathroom with her.

The litter box is there for a reason, Helga.

Okay.

Um, hey, Helga!

I think that this party needs a diva moment.

Only Helga has diva moments!

Seize her!

Yow!

Clap for Helga!

Or die.

The only thing mutilator Mike's mutilated, was my love for Halloween.

I know, right?

Total snore fest.

I brought an extra pair of underpants for nothing.

What does a guy have to do to get a decent scare around here?

Help, I'm being cooked alive!

He-elp Evil clones!

We made evil clones!

I told you hummus messes up magic!

It is just so hard watching your clones grow up and make bad choices.

Snap out of it.

Our selfish wish is k*lling mom and dad.

You're right.

We must risk life and limb to rescue them, and then tell them that we have learned our lesson.

Or we could get the amulet and wish our clones away.

Yeah, that sounds like a shortcut I can get behind.

Stop struggling, mumsy, or your muscles will flex and make the meat chewy!

Okay.

Ooh.

Okay.

I wish I was a twin again.

Helga?

I no, 'cause I just wished you away.

Where's Liv?

Where's my twin sister?

Who's Liv?

Helga's your twin sister.

Give Helga hug.

Okay, you would think I'd know by now to be incredibly specific with that amulet.

We need the magic wish amulet.

It's a matter of life and mom.

- And dad.

- Oh, yeah, him too.

Seriously, munch?

The hummus again?

Mmm Helga loves hummus.

No!

You destroyed the amulet, the only way to get back to normal, and now we're stuck this way forever.

And you stuck your dirty fish fingers in the hummus!

Come on, Helga!

Sorry, Helga.

I love your fingers.

You could be a hand model.

I'm never gonna see Liv again.

I just wish my family would go back to normal!

Maddie?

Maddie?

Maddie?

- Liv!

- Oh.

Ooh, oh.

I'm still in my knee brace.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Wow, you were really under.

What are you talking about?

Hypnotherapy.

We just spent the last hour working through your fear of using your injured knee to sh**t a three-pointer, remember?

You kept saying, "I can make a three. I can make a three. " I did make a three.

We even made your fear into a monster and gave it a name.

What, Helga?

Oh, so you do remember.

Hey, mads, I really need to talk to you.

- Liv!

- Hi.

Um, I just wanted to apologize for trying to change the theme of Screamfest to brown.

- I just - No no no no no.

I love brown.

And I love you.

And don't try to change anything, because I like things just the way they are.

Perfect.

Because the two of us can go as the scariest combination of brown of all Beige and taupe.

It's like blah meets blah.

Yeah, and I have a tan suede vest if you wanna go as triplets.

Yeah, definitely not triplets.

Ew.

When you awake, you will feel ready to take on the world.

I've never tried this without the amulet, so how do you feel?

Ooey.

What?

Ooey.

Ooey?

Ooey?!

Ooey!

Ooey!

Ooey!

Ooey!

Ooey!

Ooey!

Ooey!

Really have to finish that online course before I try that again.

Kneel before Helga!