01x08 - Satvrday

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Reservation Dogs". Aired: August 2021 to present.
Comedy about four teens in Oklahoma who steal, rob, and save in order to get to the faraway land of California.
Post Reply

01x08 - Satvrday

Post by bunniefuu »

Psst.

- Psst.
- (GROANS) f*ck off.

Psst.

- What the f*ck?
- Ha-ha-ho!

You're awake. Good morning.

Ha-ha, hey-ha!

- How you doing?
- Why are you here?

That's a good question there,
grandson, nephew, cousin.

I had a vision.

It's kind of crazy
'cause I'm already a vision.

Anyways, your ancestors,
they came to me

and they said, "Hey, you know
that young warrior?

You should go talk to him, go say hi."

And so I'm here.

- My ancestors?
- Yeah, that's right.

And, you know, it might
interest you to know

you got some colonizers in your line.

Bullshit.

Yeah. Real recent, too.

Yeah. You know your
Great-Grandma Susie?

Did you know she liked to smash
white guys like hotcakes?

Oh, c-come on, man...

Anyways, what's new?

Finally going to California today.

Aho! (SHOUTS)

That's what I'm talking about.

Young warrior taking action. Ah.

Tell me more.

We saved up money. A lot of it.

So we're hitting the road.

Looks like you got it all
figured out there.

Proud of you.

Leaving this place better than it was.

- Ain't that right?
- Right.

Yeah. Nothing left undone?

You finished all your deeds

that you need to finish around here?

Are you implying that I should
fight the bad guy g*ng?

Whoa, whoa, hey, hey.
Slow down there, cowboy.

I don't-- I don't got
any answers, only questions.

Hmm.

So you got any plans today,
or are you...?

Yeah, yeah. I think I should be going.

- I got another vision to do, uh...
- All right.

Vision out.

- Was good seeing you.
- Yeah, yeah, cool.

(CAWS) Oh, f*ck, um...

(CAWS)

(CHATTERING)

♪♪ Wasted days and wasted nights ♪♪

♪♪ I have left for you behind ♪♪

♪♪ For you don't belong to me ♪♪

♪♪ Your heart belongs... ♪♪

♪♪ I have left you behind ♪♪

♪♪ If you could just
get me one more beer ♪♪

(MUTTERING, HUMMING)

♪♪ When I know that
you're not true... ♪♪

- What is this?
- Shh.

(WHISPERING): It's your anniversary.

♪♪ Call your name,
when you're to blame... ♪♪

Dinner for two at the casino buffet?

Where did you get this?

I have my ways.

(SIGHS) You stole it.

Yep.

♪♪ That you went away and left me? ♪♪

Mom, did Dad give you
your present yet?

Present for what?

Your anniversary.

Oh, is it? I forgot.

Well, yeah.

Falls on the same day every year.

bucks?

Yeah. But you're worth it, baby.

(SCOFFS)

♪♪ And why should I call your... ♪♪

It's your move.

I know.

I have to tell you something.

Okay.

I'm not your grandson.

(CHUCKLES)

Sure you are...

even if you're not.

I just wanted to tell you
because me and my friends

are moving to California really soon.

Thanks for everything, Grandma.

Put gas in it when you're done.

("POOR MOON" BY CANNED HEAT PLAYING)

♪♪ Ever since I was a kid ♪♪

♪♪ You sure looked good to me... ♪♪

Uncle?

Nephews. Nieces. Niblings.

Want to cruise on my new ride?

I just borrowed it
from the hardware store.

I was looking for an a*. Look at that.

Oh, detox shakes.

My uncle has those.

You know, there's meetings for that.

Tornado. When my hand
quivers like that,

there's going to be a tornado.

It just stopped raining, though.

Maybe a light drizzle.

Y'all got an a*?

I can stop it.

I know a tornado ceremony.

Just need an a* and some tobacco.

Do it right and I can make the tornado

go in another direction.

That's not a thing.

What, are you gonna throw
an a* at a tornado?

What if you had, like,
a samurai sword?

I got a sword at home you can borrow.

Wasting my time.

Lives at stake.

("POOR MOON" RESUMES)

What if your grandma
reports us as car thieves?

Nah, we'll be long gone.

Today's the day.

Yeah, okay.

It's crazy how it's finally happening.

You know, we got enough money
to take care of us,

drive us there.

I don't know how we did it,
but we're finally doing it.

You know? We're finally sko-ing.

ELORA: Finally stoo-ing dis.

(BEAR EXHALES)

BEAR (CHUCKLES): Damn.

I'm not going.

That's not funny.

Wasn't supposed to be.

So, what, you're just gonna stay here?

And do f*cking what, man?

Whatever the f*ck I want.

Damn, man, you really
bailing out today?

Yeah, f*ck it, I just decided.
I don't care.

Jesus Christ, this place eats people.

You've f*cking seen it.

Who else is gonna bail?

- You gonna bail, Cheese?
- Not even.

What about you, Bear?

No, f*ck that.
We're getting out of here.

WILLIE JACK: Aw, f*ck,
just 'cause I'm not going

doesn't mean you got to act like that.

You guys are still my f*cking friends.

You guys are like my siblings
that were mine. Here.

My cut. Help you get there.

Try to visit when I can.

Maybe you could come visit
when we get settled.

Anybody got anything
else they want to share?

(EXHALES)

- Mm.
- What?

Aw, never mind.
It's not that big a deal.

All right.

All right, f*ck it.

I've been meaning
to tell you guys this.

I've been seeing this spirit
for a while now.

You mean, like, dating a spirit?

No, man, I'm not dating no spirit.

Oh, f*ck. Misunderstood.

All right, well, he's a Lakota warrior

who d*ed at the battle
at Little Bighorn.

He didn't k*ll Custer
or, like, literally anybody

because, you know, him and
his horse fell in a gopher hole.

He always talks about how
his nipples are always hard,

but that doesn't really matter.

- But, really, what he told me is that...
- Bro, this is why

I need to go to ceremony.

- Or therapy.
- Anyways...

he says we got
unfinished business to do.

We got to fight the NDN mafia,

- once and for all.
- f*ck that.

And f*ck them. We don't
f*cking need to do that.

We're getting out of here.

WILLIE JACK: sh*t, I don't know.

The ancestors are
telling us to do something.

Maybe we got to honor them.

BEAR: You've got a good point.

WILLIE JACK: f*cking skoden.

What?

I'm f*cking bored. There's
nothing to do here.

At least in the city
we had sh*t to do.

Jackie, it's Saturday.

You don't got no job.
You don't got sh*t to do.

Let's get high.

I have a job.

(WHITE STEVE CHUCKLES)

(LEE HAZLEWOOD'S "YOUR THUNDER
AND YOUR LIGHTNING" PLAYING)

I don't think axes
chop down tornadoes, bro.

Yeah, unless it was made
by Hattori Hanzo.

Mm.

You don't know the powers I got.

I can flatten your tires
with a single whistle.

- (WHISTLES) Watch out.
- Prove it.

Oh, don't say that, man.

- (WHOOPS)
- (LAUGHS)

That boy trying to get us.

That dark magic.

(SIREN CHIRPS)

f*ck.

Bear, hey, we don't have to do
this; we could f*cking leave.

BEAR: No, my spirit friend
said I had to, so f*ck it, let's do it.

What up, m*therf*ckers?

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

Hey, go grab your daddy.
Go grab your daddy.

(OVERLAPPING TAUNTS)

Shut the f*ck up...

f*ck you! f*ck you! f*ck you!

- Hey!
- Double f*ck you.

There's a tornado coming.

Man, who the f*ck...

(OVERLAPPING SHOUTING)

- What a f*cking world, man.
- Hmm.

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

Yeah. You know this is bullshit.

What?

You got f*cking warrants, Brownie.

And this is stolen.

(SCOFFS) You got no
jurisdiction here in the village.

This is Indian land.

What are you talking about, Brownie?

I'm a tribal cop, you sh*t-ass.

Well, you ought to
call yourself a traitor,

po-po blackheart.

Brownie, what is wrong with you?

(OVERLAPPING SHOUTING)

What the f*ck?

(POWERFUL THUNDERCLAP)

Ow! Oh, sh*t!

- Run!
- Run! f*ck!

CHEESE: Every Rez Dog for themself.

(BROWNIE LAUGHS)

Get in here. sh*t!

Heylah.

(EXCLAIMS)

Oh... (EXCLAIMS)

You're a lucky man, Brownie.

Take that lawn mower back.
I'm heading to the church.

This is not the time to be
praying to the white man's god!

The church basement.
There's a tornado coming.

If you got an a*, I can stop it.

You're lucky I'm not
arresting you, Brownie.

sh*t-ass.

Thank you, Creator.

♪♪ Askin' me for favors... ♪♪

Find your own trash can.

Let's go to the church.

Oh, f*ck!

Hey, we've got some candles.
Pass 'em around.

Here.

(QUIET CHATTER)

Here you go.

LEON: Why are we using candles?

What the f*ck are you guys...?

Bear. Language.

f*ck, you're lucky.

We would've dropped
the gloves right there.

(OVERLAPPING TAUNTS)

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Settle down.

Have some respect.

Got elders in the room, sh*t-asses.

- Hey, Big.
- Yeah?

Did you ever find out
who took that chip truck?

No. Not yet.

Still following a couple leads.
Why? You know something or...?

No. Just asking.

Aho, then.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Yeah.

(WHISPERS): Eat sh*t.

(WHISPERS):
You're a bitch, you know that?

(OVERLAPPING WHISPERING)

BEAR: You're lucky
there's elders, bro.

JACKIE: Oh, the elders.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Bulldog!

Hey, Bulldog!

(GRUNTS)

(THUNDER CRASHES)

My medicine is strong today.

Hey. Found that video.

Look at those shadows right there.

You know that's staged.

sh*t, we ain't never been to no moon.

That's Stanley Kubrick
who filmed that, bro.

Big and his videos.

f*ck.

Can't wait to leave
this stupid place in the dust.

Well... there she goes again.

(SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE)

Hey, uh, did you see my mom today?

Who's your mom?

sh*t.

Did you text her?

Yeah, I did twice.

Maybe her phone's dead.

- (CELL PHONE WHOOSHES)
- Yeah, maybe.

♪♪ I'm Mose, and that's Mekko ♪♪

♪♪ Two little Natives like you
start with a sequel ♪♪

♪♪ Your boy's so dangerous,
you can call me Knievel ♪♪

♪♪ Some of these rappers
can't even wrap a burrito ♪♪

- (LAUGHTER)
- ♪♪ M-O to the S-E ♪♪

♪♪ You don't want to test me ♪♪

♪♪ I should come with a warning ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause yes, sir, I'm deadly. ♪♪

(CHEERING)

♪♪ I don't freestyle,
I set styles free ♪♪

♪♪ Just give me the b*at
and let me be me, uh ♪♪

- ♪♪ Straight off the reservation, no hesitation ♪♪
- (OTHERS CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)

♪♪ The Great Spirit within me
so you can feel creation ♪♪

- ♪♪ Sacred with the rhymes like medication ♪♪
- What?

♪♪ Poison ivy flow,
irri-irritating. ♪♪

(OTHERS EXCLAIMING, LAUGHING)

♪♪ Call me White Steve
like white bread ♪♪

- (OTHERS LAUGHING, EXCLAIMING)
- ♪♪ White on the outside, inside Rez ♪♪

♪♪ No yolk, all white,
not scrambled, just right ♪♪

♪♪ Every time I walk around,
my pants is too tight ♪♪

♪♪ Do I get mad?
Pfft, not out of spite ♪♪

♪♪ My freestyle makes 'em
go nighty night ♪♪

♪♪ Standin' next to y'all
got me feeling so tall ♪♪

♪♪ Makes me wanna say, "Yo,
you're killin' me, Smalls" ♪♪

(LAUGHTER)

♪♪ Is it hot down here? ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause I think
I'm catching a fever ♪♪

♪♪ Watch me hit this out
the park like Derek Jeter. ♪♪

(CHEERING)

("WHAT" BY BRONCHO PLAYING)

♪♪ Don't you look tough ♪♪

- ♪♪ 'Cause you're in a little higher ♪♪
- (MUTTERING)

♪♪ If you got it, then you know
you got to get it on ♪♪

♪♪ On you ♪♪

♪♪ Where'd you get your stuff? ♪♪

- Oh!
- ♪♪ Would you know if you've been loved? ♪♪

- (MUTTERING)
- ♪♪ Look good on you ♪♪

♪♪ Look good on you, on you ♪♪

♪♪ One hand on the wrist ♪♪

♪♪ Two hands on the mirror ♪♪

- ♪♪ Oh, what ♪♪
- (LAUGHING)

♪♪ Oh, what ♪♪

- Heylah! (CHUCKLES)
- ♪♪ This spot feels rough ♪♪

- ♪♪ Only you're dryer ♪♪
- (GRUNTING)

♪♪ Look fits too much,
gonna get it on you ♪♪

♪♪ On you... ♪♪

Have you seen Elora?

Seen her go upstairs with Jackie.

Yeah?

Maybe they're trying to figure
our sh*t out one-on-one?

I don't know.

Trial by combat?

Can I get some water?

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

- I wonder what they're talking about.
- (GASPS, EXHALES)

Damn, man. What are you doing here?

I don't know
if you realize this, but, uh,

I'm called here by
the fear in your heart.

Plus...

I like churches.

- Shh.
- What do you mean, "shh"?

They can't hear me. I'm a spirit.

You know, Jesús and me,

we're like this.

Brothers.

Two brown men.

Both cut down
in the prime of their life.

Yeah.

Body of Christ?

- No.
- Hmm.

Your loss. You know,

you really shouldn't interfere
in the ways of the women.

What the f*ck do they have
to talk about, though?

A million things
you wouldn't even understand.

You know, one time,

when I was just a...

young, tiny,

little, petite warrior like you,

I was at a ceremony

and I accidentally went
into the women's society lodge.

And the sh*t I saw in there...

shook me to my core.

(SHUDDERS, EXHALES)

Anyways, you're doing
good stuff out there.

Helping the people
so that they may live.

I seen it.

I watched it.

But...

there's still something
you haven't taken care of.

And, deep down, you know it.

I tried to fight them. Okay?

The damn tornado was coming.

What else was I supposed to do?

Like I said,

I have no answers.

Just stoic wisdom.

But maybe,

just maybe,

that's not what the f*ck
I was talking about.

(SHUFFLING)

Well, sh*t.

They're moving.

- BEAR: Oh, sh*t.
- Better get going.

- Okay, okay.
- Aho, grandson.

Walking that red road that way.

Aho, aho, aho.

Sup, White Jesus?

- ♪♪
♪♪
- (SOFT CHATTER)

- Can I sit there?
- No.

- Really?
- Yeah. I'm comfy.

Shouldn't you be sitting over
there with your new friends?

What?

f*ck are you talking about?

I saw you over there
talking with Jackie, man.

You were talking to our sworn enemy?

First off, don't f*cking spy on me.

Yeah, sexist.

Women can talk to whoever they want.

But you were talking to
someone who jumped me, man.

It's none of your business
why I was talking to her.

Women also don't owe men explanations.

Shut up, Cheese.

Cheese, shut up.

You know what?

You're the reason
why I was talking to her

in the first place.

Getting more money for California.

Bullshit, man, we have money.

I have money.

You spent yours on
d*ck medallions and tracksuits,

trying to live out your daddy dreams.


I'm sick of it.

I'm always cleaning up
after you, Bear,

fixing things before you
even knew they went wrong.

- I'm f*cking sick of it.
- All right, then.

Why don't you just go
to California yourself, then?

(SCOFFS)

Of course, 'cause that's
the solution to everything.

You just sit back
and you let me do all the work.

Do all the work?

I did work, too, man.

I was with you, stealing sh*t.

- I was raising money.
- (SCOFFS SOFTLY)

Yeah, and I was the
one saving the money.

I'm the one who got the car.

I'm the one who got the license.

Where's your f*cking license, Bear?

You know you never really wanted to go

to California in the first place.

And now we're gonna go there
and you're gonna mooch off me

the entire way.

(SIGHS)
Your dad would be f*cking proud.

Did you really f*cking say that?
Are you kidding me?

At least I'm going for
the right reasons, man.

- (SCOFFS)
- You know that? (SCOFFS)

(CHUCKLES)
You think you're the only one

who thinks about Daniel?

You think you're the only
one who stays up at night

f*cking thinking about him?

I think about him all
the f*cking time, man.

I think about him when he was alive,

and you can't stop
thinking of the fact

that he's f*cking dead, bro.

There's a difference.

You didn't f*cking see.

(EXHALES)

f*ck you, Bear.

You don't know what the
f*ck you're talking about.

(SOFT CHATTER)

(WOMAN CHUCKLES)

Can I get everyone's attention?

Will you stand with me?

(GRUNTS)

Um...

I don't usually talk like this
in public, but...

f*ck it. Today's
a very special day today.

My mom and dad's anniversary.

(AWWING, CHUCKLING)

And they deserve all the
happiness in the world.

'Cause...

they're really good parents.

Not just to me

but they were good
to my cousin Daniel, too.

And my friends.

When they need it.

(VOICE BREAKING): And ever
since Daniel's been gone...

...I haven't seen them happy.

sh*t, I don't blame them, 'cause...

I haven't been happy either.

(SIGHS)

(SNIFFLES)

Which is why I'm gonna stick around.

'Cause...

I'm not gonna have 'em
for the rest of my life.

(SNIFFLES)

I have so much more
to learn from them.

So, happy anniversary, Mom and Dad.

- I love you guys.
- (APPLAUSE)

BIG: Congratulations,
you two. sh*t, I remember

when you were just rugged, bro.

- (LAUGHING)
- Snagging around

- and tepee-creeping at the stomp dance.
- Oh.

- Oh. Uh...
- Sh-She was shaking shells for you, ennit?

(LAUGHING)

(SOFT CHATTER)

Excuse me.

(CHATTER CONTINUES)

Excuse me!

(CHATTER CONTINUES)

Excuse me!

(CHATTER STOPS)

I'm not going to California either.

MAN: Okay.

Sorry, guys.

(CHATTER RESUMES)

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

We will rebuild. Hey?

Heylah...

♪♪ Hey, hey, hey, brother ♪♪

♪♪ Where are you going? ♪♪

- Willie Jack. We'll see you back home.
- Huh?

Okay. See you.

♪♪ Show me where you're going ♪♪

♪♪ If you show me... ♪♪

Oh, sh*t.

Everything's still here.

Must've missed us. Hmm.

Somebody's got strong medicine.

Aho.

- Elora.
- Hmm.

Huh, why the f*ck's
she acting like that?

I think she's struggling
with the patriarchy today.

She's being weird.

No, that's my fault.

I said some stupid sh*t
I shouldn't have said.

But it's cool. We'll talk about
it in the car or something.

f*ck.

All emotional.

This ain't how the Rez Dogs
are supposed to go down.

I guess this is a goodbye.

(SPEAKS NATIVE PHRASE)
Send us pictures of the ocean.

Quit spending money on hvshwv art.

Watch out for smog levels out there.

Come here, you fuckers.

Come here.

(SNIFFLES)

I love you, b*tches.

WILLIE JACK: Love you, too.

(SNIFFLES)

- (SIGHS)
- All right. I'm-a get going.

All right.

All right. Bye.

Guess I'm the leader now.

You wish.

Mom!

Hey!

I was texting you.

Didn't you know there was a tornado?

- Where'd you go?
- (CHUCKLES)

I'm not afraid of a little tornado.

You okay? Did you get to the basement?

Yeah.

(KEYS JANGLE)

You all right?

I love you, Mom.

I love you, too, weirdo.

I'm gonna make dinner.

Gonna move all the clothes
off the table.

- All right.
- We'll eat on the blue willow?

- Okay. (CHUCKLES)
- Okay.

(DOOR OPENS)

♪♪ ♪♪

("POINT OF NO RETURN"
BY JIM FORD PLAYING)

MEKKO: Man.

This is some bull, man.

These tires is flatter
than an Indian booty.

What's up, Bear?

- Hey.
- Sup?

Man, you know what?
I think Brownie got...

♪♪ All over you, you, you ♪♪

♪♪ You... ♪♪

(HONKS HORN)

♪♪ You're the biggest
chocolate-covered lie ♪♪

♪♪ I've ever seen ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, was it good, good, good? ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, was it good? ♪♪

♪♪ Why did you do it, babe? ♪♪

Surprised you actually showed up.

- You got gas money, right?
- Yup.

- ♪♪ If you keep kickin' it around this way ♪♪
- (DOOR OPENS)

♪♪ Ooh... ♪♪

♪♪ You may think I'm joking ♪♪

♪♪ But I'm turning blue
from choking ♪♪

♪♪ On your lie, lie, lies ♪♪

♪♪ I'm at my point ♪♪

♪♪ Of no return ♪♪

My Uncle Brownie's weed jar.

That weirdo.

Bet you're glad you don't
have to see him ever again.

Or anybody else in this stupid town.

Yeah.

Totally.

I bet you're glad you're
leaving those kids, too.

Everything in the city is better.

Everybody sticks to themselves.

Nobody fucks with anybody else.

Sounds dope.

♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, baby ♪♪

♪♪ I can't look back ♪♪

- ♪♪ Oh, baby ♪♪
- ♪♪ Oh, no. ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪

(INSECTS TRILLING)

(BIRD CAWING IN DISTANCE)

(GRUNTS)

Aho!

Old warrior!

f*ck, you seen my clothes?

Your clothes--

they went to the place
where the spirits go.

You know, you put up
that prayer. We heard you.

And so we had to take something
from you in return.

It was either your clothes
or your life.

So I thought, "Hey,
chonies is a good trade-off."

Who the f*ck are you?

I am grandson, nephew, cousin,

your dad.

I... am the spirit.

Kind of nippy out, huh?

- Buggy.
- Yeah.

You here

- to take me with you?
- No.

I'm here to guide you,

to show you the good life.

(CALLS)

(CALLS, COUGHING)

(COUGHING, GRUNTS)

Aho.

♪♪ Yeah ♪♪

♪♪ Seeing red, so rosy ♪♪

♪♪ Ready, set, go,
down, little brownie ♪♪

♪♪ I will not go pop, pop goes me ♪♪

♪♪ I put on, I put on ♪♪

♪♪ Back when the whip got repo'd,
cousin had a Beetle♪♪

♪♪ I was gettin' teased so bad
'cause I read slow ♪♪

♪♪ Ballin' on the dirt,
no concrete was laid ♪♪

♪♪ No regulation hoop,
known reservation ways ♪♪

♪♪ I was designated pay ♪♪

♪♪ Because I visited from ♪♪

♪♪ Another place from the state ♪♪

♪♪ But state labeled us scum, huh ♪♪

♪♪ Seeing red, so rosy ♪♪

♪♪ Ready, set, go,
down, little brownie ♪♪

♪♪ I will not go pop, pop goes me ♪♪

♪♪ I put on, I put on ♪♪

♪♪ I put on. ♪♪
Post Reply