01x10 - Easy Way

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

(ALARM RINGING)

(SPRING BOINGS)

(SLURPING)

(ELECTRIC WHIRRING)

(expl*si*n)

And that, students,
is the colorful history

-of the modern lawn rake.
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Come on in, Ren.

Class, Ren Stevens
has an announcement to make.

Please give her
your full attention.

Remember,
we are ladies and gentlemen.

I'm going out to scarf a burrito.

-Back in five.
-Okay.

Hello, students.

As this year's coordinator

for the school-wide
fundraising drive

for the Beacon of Help,

I want to encourage each
and every one of you to get involved.

As I look out
upon my fellow students

I see your eager faces,

faces unafraid
of sweat and hard work.

Do you want me to wake him?

He's my brother.
Let me do it.

(SURF THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

(SQUAWKING)

Oh! Whoa. Whoa.

-(REN SQUAWKS)
-(LOUIS GASPS)

I want names,
and I'm not afraid to tango.

As I was saying, this Saturday
I want all of you here

to jog, rollerblade,
swim, paint fences,

do whatever you're good at doing

to get your friends and family
to pledge generously.

Now, remember,
the more you work,

the more they'll pledge.

Any questions?

Yeah, Louis,
you can go back to sleep now.

Could you be any lazier?

You know, I don't know.
I'll think about it, though.

You know, I'm thinking that
I'll sh**ting baskets for charity.

I'll get people to donate a buck
for every free throw I make.

Well, that's a cool idea.

Very cool, but what
if you don't make any, man?

Please.

Bank.

-(LAUGHS)
-Whoa.

-Hey, Tawny.
-Hi.

ZACK: So, Louis,

since when did you board?

Oh, since...

I don't know,
since I was, like, uh, four.

-ZACK: Oh, really?
-Yeah.

Well, can you do,
like, a - grind?

Or a boneless nose slide?

No. See, 'cause I'm way over
that whole trick thing, you know?

Yeah, you know, he's more
into, like, backpack skitching.

Wh...whatever.

Well, see you later, Tawny.

-TAWNY: He's pretty good.
-No, nah, he's trying way too hard.

Guys, check it out.

Oh, dude, I can't wait.
Fun-tasia is gonna be so cool.

I heard that there's going
to be, like, pizza

and tons of video games
and stuff.

I heard they have virtual bowling.

And for virtual bowling
you have to rent virtual bowling shoes.

I hate that virtual nasty smell.

It's almost like
those virtual nachos.

They make you
virtually bloated.

(LAUGHING)

Could you guys
virtually stop now?

TAWNY: So, Louis,

do you want to do something
together on Saturday?

Saturday?

-Cheese-like products?
-Oh, please, fill 'er up.

Oh, yeah.

Mm.

(HORN HONKING)

Where... Where'd you guys go?

Louis, we have Ren's fundraiser.

What else would we do
on Saturday?

Yeah, you're right,
it's a fundraiser.

-So you want to wash cars?
-Well, I don't know.

Dirty cars, hot sun,
harsh detergent

-on my delicate skin...
-Forget it.

Come on, Louis,
you got to do something.

Yeah, I know, I know.
I just...

(SIGHS) I got to find some way
to take advantage

of my special talents,
you know?

(THEME MUSIC FROM : A Space Odyssey
PLAYS)

Guys?

What if I found a way
to help mankind

without even getting
out of my pajamas?

(SIGHS)

(CHUCKLES)

EILEEN: Louis,
let me get this straight.

Starting tomorrow
for the next hours

you will be in a store window
lying in a bed?

Well, uh, number one,
it's not just a bed.

It's The Compu-Rest

and it's the world's
smartest bed.

And two, I won't
just be lying there.

I'll be dozing for dollars.

Hello? Am I the only one who sees this
is a cheap scam to get out of work?

Everyone else is gonna be
jogging or biking,

and my brother's going
to be napping for the needy?

"Napping for the Needy."

That's awesome.
"Napping for the Needy."

It rolls off the tongue.
It's even better

-than "Dozing for Dollars."
-(SCOFFS)

Oh, wow, wow.
That is a TV.

-It is indeed.
-Oh, yes.

-Is that a DVD player?
-Oh, yes, it is. Uh-huh.

Oh, you got The Water Boy.

SALES CLERK:
Plus, an intercom system.

Hiya, folks. How you doing?
(LAUGHS)

For the next hours,
I want you to be

-as comfortable as possible.
-Okay.

So follow the bouncing salesman.
We have three types of beverage

here in the fridge:
cola, red pop and root beer.

Toaster oven,
great for making French bread.

And, Louis,
may I introduce to you

what may be the most versatile
bed on our planet,

the Compu-Rest .

-Can I ask you a personal question?
-Yeah.

Do you get enough circulation
in your feet when you sleep?

-You know, I could use more.
-Done, son.

The Compu-Rest adjusts
to different positions,

has four Euro-style
vibrating modes,

a lumbar sensitive,
temperature controlled mattress,

plus a swing-out cup holder.

Huh? Louis,

this bed was originally developed,
I heard, for NASA,

but it wouldn't fit inside the shuttle.

Mr. Chaney, I love this bed.
You know I do.

And I hope that I'm worthy,

and hopefully, it'll bring you
business for...

Uh-uh-uh. Luigi, this has
nothing to do with business.

This is about charity.

-A good deed is its own reward.
-Yes.

-(MIC FEEDBACK)
-Come one! come all!

Step right up to watch the amazing
boy in the window.

Come on in for some fresh coffee.
Couches half off.

Lou,

you may be the bravest young man
that I've ever met.

-No.
-Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

NEIL ARMSTRONG (OVER RADIO):
That's one small step for man,

one giant leap for mankind.

Woo!

(APPLAUSE)

He waved to us.
The Amazing Boy waved to us.

MAN: All right.

That's my son in there,
lounging like a champ.

Hi, honey.
We love you.

Just look at him
lounging there.

He makes it look
so easy.

Family, he's lying in a bed.

An untrained monkey
could lie in a bed.

Not like Louis.

-Let's get this to Foto-Mat.
-Good idea.

See you, Lou.

Channel Five News coming through.
Excuse me. Pardon me, Miss.

Cynthia Mills here
in front of Chaney's Bed City.

Today, throughout Sacramento

kids are involved
in fundraising events.

But one special young man

has captured our hearts,
our imagination.

I'm here to ask a few questions.

What is your name, sir?

Hi, Cyn.
Hi. Can I call you "Cyn"?

-I'm Louis Stevens.
-Louis.

How did you come up
with the idea

to live and sleep in a window
for two days?

I'd tell you
it was a dream I had,

but that would give this whole thing
a false magical quality, you know?

Louis, could you tell the public

a little about the charity
you are napping for?

The charity?
It's a great charity.

It's called, uh, Bacon of...
Hoping for Bacon...

It's the Beacon of Help, Louis.
It's on your T-shirt.

They've been aiding the underprivileged
since .

What is your name, Miss?
And what is your affiliation

-with Sacramento's super kid...
-LOUIS: My sister.

-...Louis Stevens?
-Well, I'm Ren Stevens.

I'm Louis's sister.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

But more importantly,
I'm the fundraising coordinator.

You are a very articulate
young woman.

Would you grant us
an interview?

-LOUIS: Yeah.
-Me? Really? Well, sure.

What's there to say about me?
Not much,

because before I was a coordinator
I was just a class president,

-and then...
-Fascinating. So...

what's it like
being Louis' sister?

-(LOUIS IMITATES FARTING)
-Is he always amazing?

-(GRUNTS)
-He's never amazing.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I'm getting some very exciting news.

Ren, is it true

that when Louis rides
in the back seat

he likes the window
halfway down

so that it is breezy,
but not too breezy?

Lady! It's a kid in a bed!
Am I the only one who's not crazy?

-Hey! The Amazing Boy's doing tricks.
-(APPLAUSE)

(MOUTHING WORDS)

(CHEERING)

Hey, look. It's a dog
on a skateboard.

Now, that's really amazing.

Hey, Louis.

Hey. Twitty, let me
show you something.

If I put a raisin...

If I put a raisin right here
on my chin, and I do this...

it'll go down to my bellybutton.

Sounds cool, but I got to get
over to Fun-tasia, so, uh...

Fun-tasia?

Yeah. The owner's opening it
for a special preview.

They're inviting everybody
that did the fundraiser.

We're talking free video games.

I never thought that
I'd actually say that sentence.

-Well, I'm so there, man.
-Whoa, dude.

Aren't you supposed to stay in bed
for two days?

Dude, we're talking Fun-tasia here,
virtual bowling.

I can stay here next week.

Hey, sport.
How you doing?

Honey, we all saw you on TV,
and we're all so proud of you.

Uh, Louis, do you think you
could just fix your hair

a little bit
before the next telecast?

STEVE: Your commitment
has inspired everyone.

Your mom and I are helping out
at a soup kitchen tomorrow morning.

And I'm donating
my ankle weights

to less fortunate
skinny-legged kids.

Honey, if we're going to get up
at : in the morning

we shouldn't stay at Fun-tasia

-too long.
-Hmm.

What? Wait a minute.
You're going to Fun-tasia, too?

Yeah. I can't wait to try
that motorcycle racing game.

In fact, my secret
fantasy's always been

to peel out on a big, shiny hog.

(IMITATING REVVING)
Ha-ha! See ya, Lou.

You know Louis, this whole bed thing
is really working out.

You should think about doing it
for the next few years.

Hey, Louis. How's it going?

Oh, hey, Tawny. Let me guess.
You're on your way to Fun-tasia, right?

Yeah. I'm not really into video games,

but after washing cars all day,
I sure could use a free sundae.

Free sundaes?

I mean, uh, so how
was washing cars?

Not bad, actually.
Zack helped me.

Zack? So you spent
the whole day with Zack?

Yeah. We ended up having
a cool time together.

(MALE SINGER SINGING)

It's me for you

And you for me

We'll be together

For all eternity...

-(RECORD SCRATCHING)
-ZACK: Hey, I picked us up

some jerky sticks to eat on the way
over to Fun-tasia.

I bit the top off the wrapper

so it'd be easier
for you to open.

So, Louis, did Tawny tell you
we washed cars today?

Oh, no. No, she didn't.

Did you happen to catch
the six o'clock news?

Oh, actually I did.

They had this roller-skating dog on.
He totally rocked.

Well, come on, Tawny,
we'd better get to Fun-tasia.

Um, see ya, Louis.
Have a nice nap.

Bye.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Mwah!

-(BOTH YELLING)
-You are an animal!

Oh!

(LAUGHS)

-Yeah!
-(INAUDIBLE)

Whoa!

LOUIS:
Look, it kind of bites.

I really shouldn't be talking to you
about my problems.

It's just that everyone's
at Fun-tasia,

and I'm stuck here
in a glass box.

I can't believe Tawny
is with Zack. Hmm!

I've seen the guy
in gym class.

Thinks he's a big sh*t.

Because he showers
and wears deodorant.

Tawny's so cool.

But sometimes I wonder
if she really gets me.

You get me, right?

Hey! I'm talking to you!

I'm talking to you!

(LOUD WHIRRING)

Stupid bed!

(WHIRRING STOPS)

Cynthia Mills here live
at Fun-tasia

at what Sacramento-oids...
Sacramentoids...

People from Sacramento
are calling the bash

-of the new millennium.
-What's up, Sacramento?

Just listen to these kids
having fun.

I know what this reporter
will be doing

when her shift is over.
(SHRIEKS)

-(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
-(CHEERING)

ALL: Hi!

CYNTHIA: Back to you, Hal.

Now, this would be
an awesome place

for my band to kick off
its world tour.

You know, and maybe I could get
Santana to open for me.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hey, Alan, your whipped cream,
it's ringing.

Talk to me.

Zack and Tawny are having way
too much fun.

You've got to split them
up, okay?

Who is this?

It's Louis.

Oh, hey, are you still
in the window?

I'm still in the window.

And you can hear
the music?

No, I saw you guys on TV.

Really?
So how'd I look?

(LOUD WHIRRING)

Knock it off!
I'm warning you!

Sorry, man,
I just asked.

Ew.

Hi, Louis.

I just wanted to apologize
for criticizing you.

I first thought that you
just wanted to get off easy,

but now I realize that
while everyone

is having a ton of fun here,
you're sticking to your commitment

in that tiny cramped window.

Oh, I got to go.

They're bringing out cheese sticks
that are, like, a foot long. Bye.

That was Ren.

I kind of figured that out.

Can I talk to Tawny?

All right.

Hey, Tawny,
Louis wants to talk to you.

Sorry, it's kind of sticky.

Hey, sleepyhead.

Oh, hey, Tawny.
Um, listen, it's Louis.

(CHEERING)

I made a really stupid
mistake today.

I should've come with you
and washed cars.

Instead I took the easy
way out and...

I bet it would've been a lot of fun
to hang out, you know.

You and me... together?

Oh, Louis,
I didn't hear a word you said.

Zack won more tokens
so I got to go. Bye.

No, wait...

(PANTING)

That's it.
Forget commitment.

I'm done, through!
You can eat my sheets, bed!

-Eat my... Ow!
-(LOUD WHIRRING)

Get it off!

(GROANING)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

-BOTH: Oh!
-(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

ZACK: You ready?

(FOOTSTEPS)

Oh! Zack? Zack?

They just announced you won a raffle
in the parking lot.

-I didn't buy a raffle ticket.
-I uh, I bought one for you.

I mean, what are
friends for, right?

-Thanks, man.
-Go, man, come on, run.

-(LOUD WHIRRING)
-(LOUIS GROANING)

(GRUNTING)

Hmm.

You know, the gunk's getting a little
crusty around the corners.

(GRUNTING)

TAWNY: Right now. Whatever.
Oh, whoa.

-(LAUGHS)
-Hey, thanks, man.

Great prize, bucks.

-No way.
-Yeah.

They're giving them
out in the parking lot. Go! Run!

Had to get rid of that guy.

I may not be quick,
but I'm vengeful.

(GROANS)

(WHIRRING)

(YELLING)

No! What are you doing?

Why?

(SCREAMS)

So, like, what do you
want to do next?

Ready for some
virtual bowling?

Well, that depends.

Does that mean we're going
to have to rent virtual bowling shoes?

Wait a second.

If we're virtual bowling

then why would
you need shoes?

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
That's... That's the joke part.

-The bowling or the shoes?
-The whole thing.

Oh. Good one.
(FORCED LAUGH)

(INAUDIBLE)

(SIGHS)

Let go of me, you devil bed!

(GROANS)

(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS)

Are you okay?

I can hear you screaming
through the intercom.

What are you doing here?

Oh, just thought I'd come out
and watch a little mattress rodeo.

That's cool. So, uh...

why aren't you with Zack?

Zack's okay, but he doesn't
laugh at the stupid stuff

like we do.

Oh, you mean like the bad
dubbing in karate movies?

(DEEP VOICE)
I'm here

to avenge my brother.
(MOUTHING SENTENCE)

-Now...
-(LAUGHING)

...you'll feel the wrath, infidel.
(MOUTHING SENTENCE)

Or how about the way Mrs. Wolf
always spits when she says,

(SPLUTTERING)
"Photosynthesis."

"Sorry, kids,
did I get you there?"

(LAUGHING)

So you're really going
to stick this out?

Well, yeah.
I mean, I came this far.

That's pretty cool, Louis.

Besides, I really think
I've got the hang of it now.

(GRUNTS) Let's see here...

Oh, jeez...
Down, bed!

-No!
-(LAUGHS)

Oh, swish, baby!
Nothing but air!

That's right, money, money.
Who's the man, who the man.

DOG: You the man! (BARKS)

You got that right.
It's the Don-amatic.

Yeah!
(IMITATES MARTIAL ARTS YELL)

Oh!