01x09 - The Pirate & the Practice

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Hart of Dixie". Aired: September 2011 to March 2015.*
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After graduating top of her class from medical school, New Yorker and new doctor accepts an offer from a stranger to work in his medical practice in small-town Bluebell on the Alabama coast. She arrives to find he has d*ed and left half the practice to her in his will.
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01x09 - The Pirate & the Practice

Post by bunniefuu »

Harley Wilkes was your father. He left you his practice.

You're the mayor? Lavon Hayes, the linebacker?

You share a generator with Wade Kinsella.

I don't want you getting any ideas.

[Screams]

Notice how whenever I come around, there's always sparks?

How dare you see my patients?

Well, technically, Harley left his half of the practice to me.

I'm not gonna share this office, not for one minute.

If one partner doesn't bring in 30% of the revenue, every billing quarter, the other partner can buy him or her out.

I'm good at what I do, and as soon as the town figures that out, it'll be just fine.

Zoe: So Mom, you'll have a car meeting me at the airport tonight?

Fantastic!

Four whole days in New York!

I am telling you, I have earned it.

Yeah. I finally got my 30% of patients at the practice.

Now I can relax, and have Thanksgiving the way it was intended.

Jean Georges is catering, right?

Thank God.

I am craving elegance and refinement.

The BlueBellians are probably re-enacting the Pilgrims and Indian corn trading, and... giving... thanks...

Or not.

Mom, see you tonight.

Bye.

I just saw the weirdest thing.

Shiver me timbers.

Oh, hi. Hardtack?

I knew this day would come.

You softened me up with heat waves and blue people, but I'm not falling for this.

Wade: Oh, this is no joke.

This is one of this town's most revered traditions.

The early selelers of BlueBell were doing Thanksgiving things, shelling peas, brining turkey...

Watching football.

Big-ass hurricane...

Washes everything away.

Gone.

Crops, houses, stores, all out to sea.

But it washes some pirates in.

Pirates?

Yes, pirates.

But instead of pillaging, these pirates saw the struggling people of BlueBell and gave them food and supplies to get back on their feet.

That's why, 200 years later, instead of folks having turkeys at home, we honor those pirates by dressing up and having a big fish fry in the town square.

Which we call...

Planksgiving.

Bam.

That is the single stupidest thing I've heard since I moved here.

And I hear Wade talking to his dates every night on his front porch.

Hey!

Fine, I'm sure that your little fish fry is filled with as much adorableness as it is cholesterol.

But now I am doubly happy to be flying to New York to eat turkey with my mom.

Wade, enjoy your holiday.

Lavon, see you later.

Please change before you take me to the airport.

You didn't tell me Zoe was going away for the holidays.

I thought I did.

Yeah. Well, you didn't.

Means I can try my new amp out.

She's always complaining about how I'm blowing out the power, and all that.

Speaking of which, I-I need a favor.

Bought a new fuse box.

Need you to help me to install it while Zoe's away.

I'm sick and tired of hearing y'all squabble over electricity all the time.

Hey. That' a great idea.

We need it!

But, uh... you're gonna have to find somebody else to install it.

What are you talking about?

Oh, I don't do electrical.

You know, car engines, carpentry, absolutely.

But, uh, electrical just ain't my thing.

I'm sorry, but, uh... another time.

All right.

All right, you take it easy, Lavon.

[Gasps] Oh, my God.

Avast, fair maiden!

Come with me and we will sail the seven seas!

Honestly, George, I don't have time to play pirate, your parents are coming!

Oh. But it's, uh, it's Planksgiving.

And I plan on plundering me some pirate booty.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, well...

I would gladly let you pillage me all day, Pirate Tucker.

But I have to clean and go to the store because for some reason, your parents decided to crash our holiday.

Okay.

Well... I mean...

Y-you don't gotta dust the outlets.

Is that hat on too tight?

Your mother hates me.

And the last time I saw her, I had a breakdown at Fancie's.

Look... if it makes you feel any better, my mama also hates Oprah, and Reese Witherspoon, and springtime, and the U.S. Women's Soccer Team.

Hey, so, you admit it, she hates me.

Baby, all that matters is that I think you are perfect just the way you... aregh!

Yep. Eleven.

Well, now, count 'em again.

Brick, I already counted three times.

Face it, Zoe got her 30% of patients for this quarter.

That is impossible, 'cause on Monday she was three patients shy.

True, but then all four MacKenzie brothers got into a bar fight, and Zoe stitched 'em up.

Then afterwards, they called and asked for Zoe to do their follow-up.

You know the rules: they request Zoe, she's counted as their doctor.

Now wait a minute, you're telling me that the MacKenzie brothers-- my patients-- specifically requested Zoe Hart to treat them?

Now why in the hell would they do that?

♪ ♪

That explains it.

I am getting a cup of coffee.

I take it he knows about my 30%?

Have to say, didn't think you could do it.

You've come a long way, missy.

Well, the quarter's over, and my father's legacy is intact.

Now I'm going to New York City, where Zoe Hart can be a fish in her own polluted water.

Hey, Addy.

Is Brick in?

Oh, he just stepped out, but I have his partner, Dr. Hart.

Guess you'll have to do.

Well, isn't that sweet? And what brings you in today?

Caleb has been complaining of itchiness for the last two days.

Me name be Small Cal No Beard!

Of course it is.

Right this way.

Six more hours, six more hours, six more hours...

Hey, Lemon Meringue Pie!

Oh, hi, Daddy.

Hey. Can your old dad buy you a cup of coffee?

Oh, I'm...

I'm sorry.

I'm running late. I gotta buy those little onions the Tuckers like in their martinis.

'Cause Lord knows if they don't have their teeny-tiny onions, then the whole earth is just gonna spin off its axis.

Ah, the Tuckers. Well, you know your sister's so scared of them, she hightailed it to the Richmans' for the weekend.

Oh. - Yeah. Well, at least we only have to put up with them a couple times a year.

Yeah.

Unlike a certain New York City doctor who is a thorn in my backside on a daily basis.

I thought you two were getting along better.

That girl still does not get what it is to be a GP.

I mean, you know, what it's like to spend 30 years with a family, watching them change and grow.

No, she swishes her little hips, and steals my patients.

Oh, Daddy, I just...

Oh. I wish there was a spell that we could use to just blow Zoe Hart right on out of this town.

Yeah.

Maybe she'd take the Tuckers along with her.

Oh, Olive! A word, please.

Uh, you know, sweetheart... sometimes I think we gotta make our own spells.

Um... I'll talk to you later.

Uh, Olive? I just want to tell you something...

Seems to be mostly in his legs.

Okay...

Have you changed laundry detergent?

Bought new sheets?

No.

What've you been up to, lately?

Pillaging.

Sailing the seven seas, looking for treasure.

He really loves Planksgiving.

Well, he's a kid.

He probably just rolled around in some plant life.

Hornswaggle!

There be no plants at sea, wench!

Huh! That's Doctor Wench to you, kid.

He doesn't have a rash, and his vitals are normal.

I don't see any other symptoms.

He's probably just having a mild allergic reaction to something.

Some antihistamines should take care of it.

Thanks so much.

We appreciate it.

[Phone ringing]

One more patient to add to my pile.

Addy, can you, uh, see if I can get on an earlier flight?

I don't see any reason why I couldn't make it.

Okay, Tommy, all medical records transferred back to Dr. Breeland.

Yes, your brothers already called.

All MacKenzies back to Dr. Breeland.

Bye now.

MacKenzies? My MacKenzies?

Oh, no, they're my MacKenzies.

See, I just happened to bump into Tommy MacKenzie's wife, Olive.

Now the funny thing is, Olive had never heard that her husband switched over to the pretty lady doctor in the short shorts.

Brick, you've got to be kidding me.

I knew you wouldn't be happy that I got my 30%, but I didn't think you'd poach my patients.

You did it first.

Oh, I most certainly did not.

Oh, yes, you did.

Oh, no, I did not.

I treated them because they asked to see me.

I'll tell you what.

You can have them if you can name all four brothers.

Fine.

MacKenzie comma Tommy.

Mackenzie comma...

Logan.

MacKenzie...

MacKenzie...

The other two didn't speak that much.

Well, you go on up to New York, have a good time, and I'll just stay here and buy you out.

Oh. Enjoy your... Thanksgiving.

Okay, how many more patients do I need to make 30%?

Well, you got Cap'n No Beard this morning, so that puts you three shy.

Well, I still have a couple hours before my flight.

You really think you can get three patients by midnight?

Not playing by the book, no.

George: I was awfully surprised to see y'all come down here for Planksgiving.

MR. TUCKER: Well, thought we'd mix thinin up.

In fact, we've learned to embrace a new tradition in Montgomery.

It's called Thanksgiving.

We brought a turkey with all the trimmings.

Lemon, you and I can wake up early and get started.

I can see how your cooking's coming along!

[Laughs]

Yay!

I've always wanted to make a real Thanksgiving dinner.

From scratch.

For hours and hours...

Look, Mom, thank you so much, it's very nice of you, but our tradition is Planksgiving.

George, you can have your little fish fry next year.

But this dinner is our chance to celebrate.

Celebrate what?

Your brother, Harry... is going to run for the state legislature!

Well, that's, I mean that's, that's great! - How exciting!

That's...

A politician in the family.

Yeah, that's great.

Of course, that means that Harry's gonna have to resign from the law firm.

Leaving his position open.

George: Look, Dad, we've talked about this. Okay?

I already left once to do corporate law.

It wasn't my thing for many, many reasons.

I'm not leaving BlueBell again, period.

But that's the best part.

Your father convinced his partners to let you work from BlueBell!

You'd only be in Montgomery three days a week.

The firm has housing you can use.

And, well, Lemon, that means that you'll have to join him on those days.

Oh. Three days a week? With you?

That's just swell!

Okay, $100 for the first person to make a doctor's appointment with me right now!

Come on!

Zoe, I'm sorry, but um... Brick is our doctor.

And we are a loyal bunch.

Shelley!

Shell! Shellster, Shellerino?

I'm sorry, Zoe.

I really am.

I think you're great.

I really do.

It's just that I saw Brick for a checkup right before you got here, and I feel great.

But you had a headache the other day.

It went away with two aspirin.

You know, there was this case of this guy with a headache.

Turns out he had a whole set of teeth growing behind his eyeballs.

All right, meet you at your office in a couple minutes.

Hey, Tom...

Tommy!

Oh, no, no, no.

My mom will k*ll me if I see a doctor other than Dr. Breeland.

He delivered me!

Come on, Tom.

I need new patients today.

If you be my girlfriend for a month.

Okay.

Yeah?

No.

Oh... An ounce of realism, please, Tom?

Show me your boobs.

One boob?

How about you come with me right now, and I won't tell your mother what you just asked me to do?

Deal.

Okay.

I cannot believe that we agreed to do Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.

I mean, sh**t, even if it does get done by 7:00, we're gonna miss the plank-walking contest!

Plank-walking? Really, George?

That was your big takeaway from lunch?

Why, Lemon Breeland, don't you know me at all?

I'm not taking that job.

My dad doesn't even respect me as a lawyer.

The only reason he wants me is 'cause Harry left and he wants to retain voting majority with his partners.

[Scoffs] No, I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of giving up my practice.

Oh! Oh, my God, George, I love you so much right now!

I was freaking out!

I know.

Oh! Okay, so you know what? We will just pretend like we thought about it, and after their Thanksgiving, we will just tell them no.

Exactly. And then we can celebrate this day like it's meant to be.

With a fish fry, ruffled shirts and eye patches!

Both: Arrgh!

There you two are!

Oh, I was just on my way to buy a few things for tomorrow.

Lemon, would you like to come?

Of course!

Shopping with you, Clora? Is there anything better?

[Wade whistles]

Hey-o!

Whatcha working on, hoss?

This was my grandmama's.

Just trying to fix it so I can give it back to her for her birthday.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Look, you got your capacitors all wrong here.

Check me out.

Okay, no polarity.

Mm-hmm.

Yes polarity.

So you put that in wrong, when you plug it in, it will explode.

No more grandmama's radio, no more fingers.

Gotcha!

What?

This radio was a Wade trap.

And you stuck your big paw in it.

Now you're mine.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You lied to me this morning.

You can do electrical work.

So? Maybe I didn't feel like installing your new fuse box. So what?

Exactly.

The question is why?

After all, every time it blows, Zoe comes stomping over and yells at you.

[Snaps fingers]

But you know what Lavon Hayes figured out?

That only crackpots talk in the third person?

Ah, Lavon Hayes figured out that you like Zoe coming over, which means you like Zoe.

Look, if by "like" you mean I'd do her?

Sure, you got me.

I'd do her.

But I'm not that picky.

Mmm-mm, mmm-mm.

By "like," I mean you love... her.

Hey.

You are in big trouble.

What?

You know what I just realized? A month ago you made a doctor's appointment and then you canceled it.

At least this guy had the good sense to need stitches.

I had a sore throat, and it went away.

What's the big deal?

Canceled patients don't count!

Brick is about to take over the practice, and I need patients.

Zoe, I'd like to help you out, but the thing is there nothing's bothering me.

I-I don't want to be unethical I'm the mayor of this town.

Ow! Oh, ow! Ow!

[Wade chuckles]

Now something's bothering you.

Come on. Just stop in, and then we'll go to the airport.

[Door shuts]

Oh, yeah, Lavon.

Mmm! She is a real catch.

That's three patients, which brings me to 30%, which also means.

"Ha-ha-ha, Brick Breeland."

If anyone needs me, I'll be at Barney's.

Lavon, let's go.

Not so fast.

They just came in, and they specifically asked for someone who was not you.

So I wouldn't head to that airport quite yet.

You're still one shy.

[Sighs]

Caleb, are you okay?

Me pirate fingers be aching.

Dr. Hart, your services are not needed here.

Let me help.

Caleb is my patient.

Yeah, he was your patient.

Exactly.

Allergic reaction, my foot.

He wasn't in pain this morning.

That's new.

Let me examine him.

Look, Dr. Hart, maybe you should see me about having that wax cleaned out of your ears.

He is not your patient anymore.

Now go.

Please go!

Zoe: What are his other symptoms?


Joint pain and itchiness are all we got.

Blood panel including CBC, chem 7 and tox screen?

Brick has no idea what Caleb has.

Nope.

So if I diagnose him first, then maybe his mother will rename me as his doctor.

You'd also have the satisfaction of treating a sick kid.

That, too.

Shady, I gotta tell ya I am a little surprised that you want to sell the store.

I mean, Nate's Hardware has been in your family for, forever. And this price?

I mean, I gotta say, no offense, but it's a little low, don't you think?

Yeah, but, uh, you know, it's, it's about a life change, George.

I mean, I've been tied to my great-grandpa's store for way too long now.

And my family and I, we're just ready to move on.

Wait. Are you leaving BlueBell?

Let's face it, George.

There's bigger and better out there in this world.

And I intend to find it.

Wow.

Well, okay. I will draw up the paperwork for you.

And I'll see you, say, this afternoon?

All right.

Thank you much, George.

You're welcome.

Shady: How ya doing?

Afternoon.

Real estate deals?

A paralegal could handle that.

Hell, a secretary could.

Yeah. I don't mind it.

Well, it's a waste of time that could be used doing things of value.

That's the beauty of working with a large firm-- resources.
[Phone rings]

My secretary's at the beauty salon.

Uh-huh.

It's a standing appointment.

George Tucker.

Okay, itching and joint pain could indicate a hundred different things.

Did Caleb give any other clues?

Only about marauding and swashbuckling.

Well, the kid's clearly weird.

Maybe there's a clue in that.

He's not weird. He's ten, Zoe.

And this is how ten-year-old boys behave.

Yeah, and ten-year-olds are weird.

This how I nearly failed my peds rotation.

I need more information.

I need eyes and ears in that room.

Lavon: Hey, this is a great magazine.

Who knew electrophysiologists shop for bulk toilet paper just like us?

Oh, we need to get to the airport.

Lavon...

How much do you love me?

Why?

Oh, hey, this isn't the bathroom.

[Chuckles]

What's up, Captain No Beard?

[Chuckles]

Clora: There's something very soothing about shelling peas, isn't there?

Reminds me of a simpler time, a time when family meant everything.

You know, you and I are going to be family very soon, so I think it's time we had a frank conversation.

[Chuckles]

Whatever about, Clora?

Lemon, you don't have to pretend.

We both know that things aren't right between us.

We've gotten off on the wrong foot, and I'm big enough to admit that's all my fault.

I had a practice in BlueBell, too, son.

I, I know that small town law can get a little, uh, small.

Yeah, I mean, Lovey Swann over at the library is actually having me sue Parker Mason over an overdue library book.

[Both laughing]

But, Dad, come on, you, you know I love helping out my community.

You could still help them.

With a big firm behind you, you could make some real changes around here.

Class actions, defense teams.

Lemon, I get it.

Why in the world would you let George take this job?

You don't want him around us because you don't want to be around us.

I mean, you have been a, a tad bit critical of me.

I've been a judgmental hag.

I know what kind of lawyer you are.

More importantly, I know what kind of man you are.

Clora: The crazy part is, I always wanted a girl, but instead, just boys.

And here you are, the daughter I always wanted, and instead of embracing you, I turn my back.

Harold: Truth is... your brother doesn't have half your smarts or half your heart.

I need you at my firm, son.

George, I need you.

[Chuckles]

Lemon, I know you've missed having a mother in your life.

And I want to be that for you.

Well?

I heard coughing and Caleb said he was dizzy.

Anything else? Anything at all?

Uh... He was scratching behind his ear a lot.

Huh.

Maybe he finally does have a rash.

Could you go look at it?

Are you crazy?

The mayor of BlueBell can't be creeping around exam rooms.

And how many times can I lose my way to the bathroom?

Oh, for Pete's sake!

[Phone ringing]

Hey, babe.

Hi.

I was just going to call you.

Listen, I've been thinking--

I know it isn't what we discussed, but maybe we should consider your father's offer.

[Chuckles]

That's funny, 'cause Lemon, I was thinking the exact same thing, I mean... it turns out my dad really does want me there, and...

And it's a great career opportunity.

Plus, your mother and I have had a breakthrough.

Really? Wow.

So we're really doing this?

I think we are-- Senior Associate Tucker.

So, did you see the rash?

No rash. It was just salt residue.

We're back to square one.

Why would Caleb have salt behind his ear?

Like salt water? Residue you get from swimming in the ocean.

Okay, so Caleb has been swimming in the bay.

Maybe there's something in that.

Itching, joint pain, ocean...

Zoe, you okay?

Addie, I know what's wrong with Caleb. Call an ambulance.

You've been scuba diving, haven't you?

Are you out of your mind?

Caleb is only ten years old.

He doesn't even know how to scuba dive.

This morning he said he was sailing the seven seas looking for treasure.

He also told me he made his principal walk the plank.

Maybe we should dredge the bay for Mr. Babcock.

Caleb...

Me name be Captain Cal No Beard.

Fine. Captain No Beard, you have to tell the truth right now.

If you've been diving, you're only going to get sicker and sicker.

How dare you scare him.

He's just a boy.

Look, you are out of this room, you are out of this practice.

Me hast been diving.

What do you mean?

You don't know how to scuba dive.

Me brother Nate taught me.

Me robbed him of his suit.

And took to the bay.

Nate has scuba gear because he's 17 and taken lessons.

Caleb, what were you thinking?

Becky, Caleb has decompression sickness.

It's what divers call the bends.

We have an ambulance coming, and he needs to get into a hyperbaric chamber right away.

I know it sounds scary, but as long as we take care of it quickly he'll be fine.

And when he comes back, he'll come in for a follow-up with me.

See, Crickett, it was all just a big misunderstanding like she was a mama lion protecting her cub.

Montgomery?

I still can't believe you're going to be bi-citial.

Crickett, that's not even a word, sweetie.

But BlueBell will always be my home.

But what about your civic duties?

How are we gonna get on without you?

Oh, well, you'll just have to forge on.

Oh, if you'll excuse me, I have to go help my future in-laws shop for Thanksgiving.

I can't believe George caved so quickly.

Nice work today.

Well, I knew Lemon was key to getting him on board.

Mm-hmm.

Of course, I practically had to promise to breastfeed her to get her over on our side.

[Laughing]

You know, Shady, you coming in earlier, you, uh, you sort of inspired me to make a change, too.

Oh, yeah? How's that?

Well, I... I'm going to close up shop here, and I'm going to go join a larger firm.

Congratulations, George.

That's-- that's great.

Is everything okay, Shady?

[Phone ringing]

Hold on a sec.

Of course.

Hello?

I'll be right there.

Wait, Shady, what...? Shady?

Wade: Come... oh!

Turn around.

Come on.

[Door opening]

Thought you were taking Zoe to the airport.

[Engines revving on TV]

She had a last-minute medical emergency, so, she got a later flight.

Oh.

Said she'll call when she's ready.

You know, I've been thinking, if you did like Zoe...

I don't, all right?

Uh-huh. So, my idea-- you take her to the airport.

Tell her how you feel right before she gets on the plane.

Now, if she feels the same, you have yourself a nice, romantic, airport good-bye kiss.

If she doesn't, she gets on the plane, and no one has to talk about it.

I don't like her, okay?

[Chuckling]

Mm-hmm.

Now, if you please.

Flight leaves at 8:00.

[Tires screech, crashing on video game]

Hmm.

[Door closes]

[Gasps]

There you two are!

I made a reservation for us at Fancie's in a half an hour.

Harold, a martini?

Sounds good to me.

Great. Oh, and I got that gouda you like, Mama.

It is okay if I call you Mama, right?

[Laughs quietly]

Shady!

Caleb, are you okay?

I'm sorry.

Shady: Why were you scuba diving?

I wanted to find the pirate treasure.

What-What pirate treasure?

From the ship in the Planksgiving story.

I thought if I could find it, you wouldn't have to sell the store, and we wouldn't have to move in with Aunt Glenese, and you wouldn't have to go away to look for work.

We could stay a family.

Look, I... I didn't want anyone to know.

All right? Everyone's been buying their supplies off the Internet lately.

Son, I appreciate what you tried to do, but... there isn't any pirate treasure.

It's just some story somebody made up a long time ago.

We should go.

Wait!

I don't want it anymore.

If there's no treasure, I can't help them.

I just wanted my family to stay together.

Hey.

So, we going to the airport or what?

Brick: A ten-year-old with the bends.

I mean, I can't believe it.

No, you can't blame yourself about that.

Me, on the other hand-- I mean, Shady Hilson wanting to sell his hardware store-- I should have known better.

George, you never could have known.

Neither of us could have, but...

We're gonna have to figure out a way to help them. - I completely agree.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

What happened to Lavon?

Uh, yeah, well, I, uh...

I happened to be going to the airport anyway, so...

I do that sometimes to visit my buddy the, uh... bag guy.

So, it's not a special trip or anything.

You know, kids-- they get so caught up in stories and fantasies.

You feel like a jerk when their little hearts get broken.

Really don't know what you're talking about.

So, the airport?

Hey, y'all, can you give us a ride back to the Breeland house?

We got a lot of work to do, and every minute's gonna count.

Uh, actually....

Yeah, sure, hop in.

Thanks.

Is it this?

But...

No...

Ow. Ow.

Brick: Wade...

Watch the...

Brick: Ooh, sorry.

George: All right.

Brick: Thank you.

Ah.

[Door closes]

Welcome aboard.

Lemon: You know, Mama, Dad, I've been thinking.

You know, George and I don't need our own place in Montgomery for only three days a week.

We can just stay with you.

Won't that be so cozy?

Of course, dear.

Oh, we can play charades every night.

I just love charades.

Don't you?

Wait. Guess this one.

[Singing note]

[Laughs]

Sure hope we're not late to the airport.

Somebody's got a plane to catch.

George: You know what we should do?

We should call the town council.

Yeah.

They got to have some jobs for, uh... for Nate's.

You guys are gonna help Caleb and his family?

You're more than welcome to join us if you want to change your travel plans.

No, my mom's expecting me.

I already saved the kid's life, got him to the hospital.

What more could I do?

Well, you know, my business card says doctor, and George's says lawyer, but those titles don't begin to explain what people like us mean to the community.

I mean, BlueBell counts on us.

What are you gonna do?

Find the Hilsons some Planksgiving buried treasure?

[Laughs]

You don't get it.

You know, years ago, when BlueBell was leveled by that hurricane, and people lost everything, most of all, they lost hope.

They were talking about moving out, deserting the town and-and starting over, but the town's founder, Cyrus Lavinius Jeremiah Jones, you know, he got together with some of the town leaders.

They spent the whole night fishing, and the next morning, there was food for everyone.

Yeah. Then, when people asked, "Where did it all come from?" that's when Cyrus made up that story about friendly pirates.

I knew there weren't pirates.

Yeah, no pirates.

Just neighbor helping neighbor.

That's what got BlueBell back upon its feet then, after Katrina, after whatever came to try and knock her down.

You know what? Like, the costumes, the pirate stuff-- that's all just meant to be fun.

This holiday is really about community.

Yeah.

Lemon: Dad?

Mm?

Do you play tennis?

Why do you ask?

I was thinking we should join a doubles tennis league in Montgomery.

I don't know how to play, but I was hoping that you could teach me.

Wouldn't that be a kick?

Hey.

Clora: Oh, there you two are.

We have reservations for a celebration dinner at Fancie's in ten minutes. - I know, and I'm sorry to have to do this, but... y'all are gonna have to go without us.

I've got a client who needs help.

What client?

You're working for me now.

I'm sorry. Did you not hear someone needs his help?

Look, Dad, this is really important, okay?

So y'all are gonna have to go without us tonight, and we'll see you back here in the morning?

Mm-hmm.

Okay. You okay, babe?

Mm-hmm!

Oh, that is just perfect.

More time together!

You'd better get used to me, because you and I are gonna be inseparable.

[Giggles]

♪ ♪

Wade: So...

Finally.

Here we are.

You and me.

On our way to the airport...

Yes, sir.

Mom, call me when you get this message.

There's been a change of plans.

Bye.

Will you take me to the plantation?

But the airport.

I need to talk to Lavon.

George and Brick are helping the family business.

I need to help Caleb.

Hey, it's okay.

You'll just have to go to the airport without me.

♪ ♪

George: Whew, last one.

Brick: Whoo.

No sleep, but I think it was worth it.

Yeah, and nice touch with that signet ring.

[Doorbell rings]

Well...

[Sighs]

Good morning, Clora, Harold, come on in.

Ah.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we agree to have Thanksgiving today?

I've prepared a meal.

I know, I-I'm really sorry, but something important came up.

It turns out that Shady Hilson was-- he was going to close his hardware shop, so Brick and I-- well, we spent the whole night calling all over town and looking for help, and, well, you see these?

All pledges to buy exclusively from Nate's Hardware.

Yeah, it should be enough to keep him up and running for a good long time.

Lawyers don't beg for money, especially on behalf of a man too stupid to manage his own finances.

Brick: Whoa.

I'm not sure you heard, Harold, but there are a lot of good folks that are struggling these days.

And since when did helping your neighbor turn into a character flaw?

Well, I'm just saying, in order to be a good lawyer, you have to learn how to separate the personal from the professional, and, and my son is occasionally too soft-hearted for his own good.

Then what exactly are you proud of me for, Dad, huh?

Oh, George, calm down.

You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you're in that ridiculous getup.

Hmm.

Lemon: Oh, there you are, Mama.

I have an extra costume picked out just for you.

We can be mother-daughter pirates.

I am not wearing a pirate costume, and we are eating Thanksgiving dinner.

Lemon: Oh, didn't George tell you?

Plans have changed, and you would look so cute in an eye patch, Mama.

For the love of God, stop calling me that!

[Sighs]

How my George came from your loins, I have no earthly idea.

How dare you?

How dare I?

My mother may not be around anymore, but I am not desperate enough to replace her with a conniving witch like you.

Using a person's vulnerabilities to manipulate them is just-- it's downright un-Christian.

Watch your mouth, young lady.

And you!

If you can't be proud of George, who is the most decent and honorable man that I have ever met, well, then both of you can go to H-E-double-hockey-sticks.

I should have known that this was about what the two of you wanted 'cause it always is.

Dad, I officially decline your offer.

Oh, uh, Happy Planksgiving.

♪ Yeah-eah-eah ♪
♪ Ye-Yeah-eah-eah ♪
♪ I like to hold your hand up high ♪
♪ On the Ferris wheel ♪
♪ And how front porch swingin' ♪
♪ With you makes me feel ♪
♪ Yeah, but when you... ♪

Come on, honey, you need to eat something.

I'm not hungry.

Hey, the peg-legged race is coming up.

Maybe we should enter.

Can I just go home now?

Sure, buddy, let's go.

♪ Crankin' up Waylon, Willie, and Merle... ♪

Avast ye, mateys.

[Band stops playing]

Methinks the Hilsons are trying to make a fast getaway.

Oh, I think you're right there, Captain.

I'm, uh, I'm sorry, folks, but Caleb's wanting to go home.

Well, I think we'd like you to stay.

As a matter of fact... we'd like you to stay permanently.

This is a contract for the new gym at the high school.

For the Town Hall renovation.

Yeah, now, there's more than enough there to, to make things right.

Brick: BlueBell is behind you, Shady, 100%.

[Cheering]

Zoe: Ahoy!

Uh, uh, actually, it's "avast."

I am a Jewish pirate.

Ach-hoy!

I am looking for a pirate named Captain No Beard.

Hi, Dr. Hart.

Oh, hello there.

I found this hidden near my carriage house.

Thought you could decipher it.

Treasure map?

[Crowd murmuring]

[Band resumes playing]

♪ Yeah, but when you pull up in your big old truck ♪
♪ I can't climb up in it fast enough ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm your shotgun girl ♪
♪ Along for the ride... ♪

[Crowd murmuring]

[Gasping and excited murmurs]

[Applause]

Caleb, I guess you were right.

There is treasure right here in BlueBell.

Me name be Small Cal No Beard.

[Chuckles]

Oh.

But my friends just call me Cap'n.

Come here, Cap'n.

[Chuckles]

[Sighs]

I have never been more proud of you, George.

You sure you don't regret saying no to your dad?

Corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, but I couldn't help thinking about BlueBell.

What would happen if I closed up shop here?

I mean, these people are more than my neighbors, you know, they're my friends.

[Chuckles]

And I could not leave them if I wanted to.

[Both chuckle]

Where'd you go last night?

Where else?

The airport.

I'm still stuffed from all those cinnamon rolls.

[Laughs]

No.

Thought you were leaving.

I just want you to know, George, that I was trying to help you.

Towns like BlueBell are dying off.

Pretty soon you won't have any more little guys to help.

Yeah, well, you know what? I think we'll be just fine.

I wouldn't be so sure.

My firm represents a certain big chain megastore.

They're securing land outside of town.

I was hoping a man inside BlueBell might help facilitate dealings with the townspeople.

You were going to use me?

Face it, George, the world is changing, you got to change with it.

Did you really think that your, your little hardware store was going to be able to compete with a mega-chain?

♪ ♪

Dr. Hart.

Brick.

You did real good today.

Thank you, it feels good.

Well, enjoy that feeling 'cause the new quarter starts today.

[Laughs]

♪ ♪
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