02x02 - Everybody is Grownups

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

Larry: Then don't go to the party.

Tina: Yeah, but because it's Alex's party, it's gonna seem weird if I just don't show up.

Then maybe you should go to the party?

But I don't wanna add any tension, you know, if he doesn't want me there.

Why don't you and I just do a drive-by, we'll run in and say hi to everybody, and then say we have to be somewhere else?

I got poker tonight, I can't go.

Can't you skip it? You do it every week.

Just this once?

I mean, Tom's gonna be there, and I...

Who the f*ck is Tom?

Tom Hanks.

Oh, him.

You know what, I don't even know why I would go to this stupid thing.

I'm gonna just have some popcorn, catch up on my TV, have a girls' night in with Sally. Right, Sally?

Larry: Sounds great.

What do you think? You and me.

We're gonna have some bonding time.

(dog groans)

She's really excited.

Michelle: As you can see,

our fantastic architect, Louis...

(cheering) has drawn up the plans for the building remodel.

Thank you, Louis, yay!

So, in the meantime, what I really need your help with is with hiring, is with the curriculum, and it's also... with, um... outreach.

Um...

Sorry.

We just need to send the message that this is a racially and economically diverse school.

So, whatever you can do to... get the message out will be great.

What are you doing?

What, I just...

Two co-workers talking.

No.

It's okay, all right?

It looks weird. It looks weird.

It doesn't look like anything.

And I'm...

I just wanna touch base with you. I need to talk to you.

You haven't returned my texts.

I'm sorry if what happened... was difficult for you. I can see you're struggling.

But... I don't want to apologize for how I feel about you.

I don't want to apologize David...

For how I feel about you.

And I'm not gonna back away...

No.

Just because you're married.

I don't want to do this.

Let's just...

Let's just slow it down.

I'm sorry.

This doesn't... I...

It was a mistake.

It was my mistake.

It's... It's done. It's over.

Nothing else is gonna happen.

I...

You know I love you, right?

(sighs)

(sobs)

Please, just get out of here. Please, just get out of here.

Please.

Oh, f*ck.

g*dd*mn it. g*dd*mn it.

♪ ♪

Brett: You ready?

Get 'er up, sister, Get 'er up.

Get that star.

Good. Nice. You wanna do one more?

Sophie: Yeah.

Nice.

Brett: Right, let's get some down here.

We need to fill this stuff out.

Alex loves his stars.

What about a little vampire face?

Vampire face? If you're going to do that, do that right there.

That looks...

Hi.

Hey. You're home.

Yup. I'm home.

Eww! Eww!

Excuse me.

Yeah.

Rude. Hello?

Why are you saying "eww"?

You're kissing Daddy like Belle kisses the Beast at the end of the movie.

Like this?

Ew! Weird!

(shouting)

Kisses, kisses!

(baby crying)

Uh-oh, I think Frankie needs kisses.

Oh, baby.

Aw. Here I come, sweet pea.

I got you, sweetheart.

Here we go.

There we go. There we go.

You're good, Frankie. Are you okay, Frankie?

You're good.

Woman on TV: Because inside, it was all real.

Watch your show. Watch your show!

Maybe you'll learn something.

I was starting to feel like myself again.

I'm just not that into you.

Seriously.

You smell like a rat's assh*le. Oh, my God.

No! Oh, my God. I said no!

Ugh.

(lively music playing)

(chatter, laughter)

(door opens)

Brett: Tina, hey!

Hey.

What are you... What are you doing?

What?

What are you doing?

Oh, I just, I...

Is he here?

No, he's not here yet. We need to kind of...

He's like coming soon, so...

Oh, oh.

No, I just forgot something in my car.

Do I have... Do I have time to go...

Yeah, go, but we should...

Oh, okay.

Haha. Aah!

Okay.

I'll be right in. All right.

♪ Now it's like the world owes you ♪
♪ Walking around like everybody should know you ♪
♪ I wanna be like we used to ♪
♪ But now you're worried 'cause that means we'd lose you ♪
♪ And I had no idea ♪

Yes.

♪ What that feeling could do to you ♪
♪ And I could tell you changed ♪
♪ By the people around you ♪
♪ I used to take the long way ♪
♪ Just so I could walk past your door ♪
♪ I used to wait outside ♪
♪ But I guess I won't anymore ♪
♪ ♪

Hey.

Yo.

Looking a little low over here.

Do you think he's gonna be a movie star?

Uh, he might be.

What... What are you... ?

That'd be just so weird.

Did I ever tell you about the time when he got his first big play?

When we were in high school?

Okay, so we were freshmen and this was when we were in our, like, severe soul mate phase.

Like, sleeping at each other's house every weekend, and dreaming about our futures, and...

Totally gay.

Well, I was gonna say "the happiest time of my life."

But, you know, whatever. It's fine.

Anyway, he got cast as the lead in the play, and it was this big deal 'cause a freshman had never been cast as a lead, and he f*cking... got cocky.

And he left me behind a little bit.

So, you know.

I... I get it.

You know what I mean?

Wait, you get what?

I get how you... You know, you...

How you're feeling.

I don't... What?

You think he's leaving me behind?

No, I'm not saying that.

Oh, my God.

I'm just saying... I'm not saying...

I'm just saying...

Guys, guys! Shh!

I think he's here. I see, like, a limo pulling up.

A limo?

Okay.

He's in a limo?

Brett: They just do that. It's not...

All: Surprise!

(laughing and cheering)

This is great! Oh my God, y'all, this is nuts!

Come in!

Tina: So, do you live in LA?

Christy: Oh, I don't. Not really.

What does "not really" mean?

Um, I don't really live anywhere, 'cause I just kind of, like, go wherever work is.

Like, um, I'm day playing on Alex's new show, so I was like, "okay."

(laughing)

You have a new show?

It's nothing. I'm just...

Holy sh*t!

It's a recurring role on a "WE" show.

When did this happen?

Well, I found out, like, three weeks ago, but, uh...

I'm playing a vampire.

(laughing) Wait, are you serious?

They're literally typecasting you already.

You're gonna be like a Russian vampire villain for the rest of your life.

No, he's Eastern European, and, uh, he's... He's a somnambulist.

So, it's a little bit different, actually.

Oh.

Yeah, I mean, the money's really good, so...

Great. Yeah, that sounds great.

Yeah.

That's so exciting.

So, you appear on the show? Or you...

No, I make sure everyone's dressed.

I whip everyone into shape.

Alex has trouble not being dressed in his trailer.

I do have that problem.

What do you do?

Um, it's just a bunch of stuff I've...

It's so complicated.

But what is it, though?

It's just some entrepreneurial stuff...

Oh, yeah.

That I've got in the works.

Oh, that's cool.

Hard to explain.

I love that.

I love that you're still just, like, "in it" at your age. That's awesome.

Yes, I am.

Christy: That's cool.

So, is this, like, the essence of the party?

Is this what we're doing?

We should play a movie game, right?

Yes! Let's do a movie game.

I'm so bad at party games.

Oh, no, it's not like a party game.

It's like, a get-to-know friendly game.

And it's super fast. I can teach you.

I'm gonna go have a drink.

Yeah.

You guys can wrangle everyone, 'cause I don't know everyone's names.

It'll be good.

Okay.

All right.

Don't leave me...

Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink... (hisses)

What is that?

Are you kidding?

I just was like, "Wow. Rawr."

No, it was not "rawr."

No, definitely not.

(in craggy voice) I guess at my age, I just don't recognize these things anymore.

Christy: So, we'll go clockwise, and I will start us off with "A Clockwork Orange."

Wait, I don't... Is it... I don't know what to do? What do I do?

You name an actor or an actress in the movie.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's that guy.

It's that guy. What's-His-Balls? f*ck.

Um... (giggling)

f*ck you, dude.

I don't think his name was "What's His Balls."

It's "What's-His-Balls Johnson."

(laughing)

It's fine. You can totally reject the first one if you don't know it.

Can we IMDB "What's-His-Balls"?

(laughing)

Well, that's rejected then.

Perfect, okay.

Um, how about...

"Forrest Gump."

Really? Tom Hanks.

Larry, my boyfriend, is with Tom right now.

All right, Phoebe, Tom Hanks to you.

Oh. Oh, "Splash."

Oh, yes, "Splash."

I like what you've done here.

Um, "Splash" has a lot, but I'm gonna give you John Candy.

"She's Having a Baby."

(gasps) Oh, my God.

Um... Woody Harrelson.

Um... "Wildcats."

Michelle: "Wildcats"?

You got this, sister.

Did you make that up?

I got this? No, I don't.

No, you know...

The lead actor that you used to have a crush on, he was in "Jungle Fever," his name rhymes with Leslie...

Cripes.

Leslie Nielsen?

Wesley Snipes.

(laughing)

You said Leslie Nielsen.

Never mind. Nobody heard it.

Uh, okay. So, Wesley Snipes to "Major League."

Ooh, "Major League." I like it. Okay.

Um... Corbin Bernsen.

Who? (laughing)

He was Roger Dorn, the third baseman.

Yeah, not helping.

I'll just give you a different one.

So, you said "Major League..."

No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, you don't have to, like, change the rules of the game for me.

I'm a big girl. If I'm out, I'm out.

No, it's cool. No one wants to be the first person out.

No, I do. I wanna be out.

Trust me.

Why don't we just trade seats?

Why are we gonna trade seats?

'Cause I think the game will be easier if we just switch seats.

Why will the game be easier if we switch seats?

Um, 'cause I... 'cause like, the game is easier depending on who's giving you the clues.

Okay, let's switch seats.

Okay, perfect.

Perfect.

George... George Carlin.

Oh, yes!

Oh, "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure."

Rufus.

Easy, you have Keanu Reeves.

Uh, "Point Break."

Patrick Swayze.

Patrick Swayze.

Jinx! Drink it!

(mutters) You better give me a f*cking easy one.

What?

It's your turn.

Oh.

Thought I heard... Okay.

Um... okay.

"Dirty Dancing."

I have one, but it's so hard, I don't know if I want to do that to you.

Oh, no, go for it. Don't take it easy on me.

Are you sure?

I can take it.

Are you positive?

I'm a big girl.

Here it comes.

Okay.

Jennifer Grey.

Boo-yah!

Good luck finding another movie that she was in.

Um, this one's hard...

Pass?

Reject?

Or we could switch places?

'Cause sometimes it's easier if the person who's giving you the clues...

Bueller.

Huh?

Bueller?

No.

I said Bueller.

I know, but she wasn't...

As in, Yeah, I know what... "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

She's not in that.

Yes, she is.

Jennifer Grey.

Yeah.

She totally has the best part.

She beats up Jeffrey Jones and then she hooks up with Charlie Sheen at the end.

No, no, no, no.

Yes!

No, you know who that is?

It's What's-Her-Name from What's-His-Balls.

No, she's the mother in "Back to the Future."

Lea Thompson?

Look it up.

Yes! Lea Thomas.

No. I'm pretty sure it was definitely Jennifer Grey.

Tina: I am positive it's Lea Thompson.

It's Jennifer Grey.

You wanna bet?

No, I don't wanna bet you.

Guys, we're gonna go get a drink if anybody wants one.

Tina: You know it's Lea Thomas.

Okay, I bet you $1,000.

You got it.

Come on... escape.

Okay, great.

Look it... Somebody look it up.

Look it up.

Do we have to?

Come on! Look it up.

Look it up.

(laughing)

Don't be sad. No hard feelings.

I said it was Jennifer Grey. No.

But now we know...

Brett: How long before Alex lights himself on fire in the fire pit? It's coming.

Michelle: Three... two, one. It's coming.

Welcome home, Alex! Happy party!

Why does she do this? Does she not know how horrible...

She can't help herself.

She gets into a thing and she's just like... gone.

It's just...

It's so bad. All right.

It's so crazy.

Well, I feel like, I'll run interference on Alex and Christy, and then you pull Tina away and...

No.

No.

Like, "no"?

Like, no.

Whoa. What's...

We are gonna stay inside for the rest of the night.

Because guess what?

What?

Everybody is f*cking grownups.

Yeah, f*ck those guys.

And they're gonna be fine.

And we're not even gonna say goodbye to our guests.

Ooh, I love it.

What do we do inside? What happens in here?

What...

I think a lot of things can happen in here.

Really?

Yeah. What's that?

I was just, uh... Oh. Oh.

Bringing you over here.

Oh, well... Mmm.

Mmm. Oh.

I love this party. I love this party.

It's pretty good.

It's such a good party.

Guess what?

What?

It's about to get a whole lot better.

It is?

Oh, yeah.

What's happening? Balloons?

Oh, yeah.

Come.

What is...

Where am I... Oh, no.

This way.

Oh, where...

Yeah.

Where are we going?

In here.

You're going here.

Um... Okay.

Yes.

♪ ♪

(giggling)

Yeah? Yeah.

Okay.

Come here.

(moaning)

Well, now which one of them was in "Sixteen Candles"?

Uh, that would be neither of them.

(Brett moaning)

Oh...

That is so f*cking gnarly. (chuckling)

Clearly I'm gonna need earplugs.

Christy: Not bad for married folk.

(laughing)

It sounds like Animal Planet.

(giggling)

What?

Are you... planning on sleeping here?

I had like, seven tequila sodas.

So, yeah. I'm drunk.

Oh, um...

Well, I talked to Brett earlier, and he said that Christy and I could crash here, so...

I talked to Michelle and she said that if I got drunk, I could crash here.

(Brett and Michelle moaning)

You guys, it's totally okay. We can just go in there and then ask them.

(laughing) I'm so sorry.

Tina, why don't we get you an Uber, and you can get your car tomorrow?

I'm not taking an Uber, okay?

I... This is my sister's house.

You guys take an Uber.

It's fine.

You can just sleep on that couch and then Alex and I can take that couch, right?

I'm not gonna sleep here while you guys...

Whoa. All right.

He's already seen them.

Not in that way.

Tina, why don't you give me Larry's number, and we can call him, and he can come get you?

Larry is with Tom!

How many times do I have to... spell it out for you?

Well, she can't go to Larry's 'cause he's with Tom.

Remember? Tom Hanks?

Thank you.

Come here. I want to talk to you, actually.

Come here, I want to talk to you.

I think she's...

Talk to me for one second.

Let me steal your little... little Miss Thing for one second.

Christy: Oh, we're having a chat. It's a girl thing.

Don't worry.

Come here. Let me explain something to you.

Come here. Listen.

I know the game you're playing, 'cause I invented that game.

(laughing) What's the game called?

I know you know what I'm saying. Okay, I think you talked enough.

Why are you f*cking defending her?

You've talked enough.

Okay? She's been patronizing me...

What are you talking about? and subtly sh1tting on me all night...

Enough! Okay? Enough!

Alex: Hey.

Hey, drunk girl!

Hey!

Hey!

Get the f*ck off me.

Don't make me say what I'm gonna say.

Whoa. You got your balance?

Here's a question: When are you gonna grow up?

"When are you gonna grow up?" Are you kidding me? What does that mean?

You're embarrassing yourself the way you're acting in there.

You're embarrassing yourself! You f*cking walk in here, you're f*cking an hour late, you come in your f*cking limo with chest all pumped up, and like, f*cking start talking about the money you're making and all that sh*t.

You f*cking changed, man!

You know what your problem is?

Hmm. What's that?

I made you skinny.

Oh, that's it?

And when you got skinny, you lost your soul!

And now you're a f*cking skinny Hollywood f*ck!

That's what you are!

You... You... You used to be fun and excited and humble...

Yeah.

And sweet...

Mm-hmm. and now you're just a f*cking out-to-lunch.

So, f*ck you...

Great!

Conversely, you have not changed.

You're still a f*cking tragic train wreck.

(laughing)

Shut the f*ck up. 'Cause you know what?

Mm-hmm?

I don't like who you are right now.

I don't like who you are.

Good.

We agree on something.

f*ck you!

(engine starts)

(tires screech)

(horn honks)

(tires screech)

Alex: Tina!

♪ ♪

I love you so much.

I love you so much.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What is going on?

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Give me the stuff.

We're here.

Hi.

I know.

Hi.

I can't even...

It just feels so right and just... like this is where we always should have been.

And just...

I wanna go back, like, a year, and be like, "Guys", "you could do that, or you could do this?"

I don't even know how we... lost each other.

I don't care.

The fact that we came through that, and we have this... makes me feel... powerful.

Yeah.

Yeah. Like...

If something comes up now, we talk about it.

Mm-hmm.

Secrets?

No.

We're not gonna have those.

Like... there is nothing between us right now, and that's how I want to live.

And I'm really f*cking happy.

Hey. Where'd you go?

You just escaped to Mars for a second.

Sorry.

It's okay.

I did. I just, uh...

I do have something to tell you.

Okay. Yeah.

And I'm just...

I'm telling you because...

I... I'd feel powerful too, like you said. You know?

Yeah. Yeah.

I feel so... good about this connection, and... and us, and where we are, and just...

I... You know, like, I feel like anything is possible.

Yeah. We can overcome anything.

We can overcome anything.

Yes.

I really...

(sighs)

It's okay. Hey.

Well, I made a huge mistake.

Um... (sobs)

(sobbing)

Sorry.

When I went to, um, Sacramento.

Before you came up to Sacramento, you know, we were just at our worst point.

We were so low, you remember?

Where we were was so bad.

And, um, I just... I was confused and I...

I just did a stupid... I did this most stupid thing. I s...

I slept with David.

(sobbing)

I'm sorry.

It's over. I didn't...

It's over now. It just... I don't love him.

I don't feel anything. It just was nothing.

Okay?

Are you...

(retches)

Oh!

♪ ♪
♪ Well, there is something 'bout the quiet, uplifting laughter ♪
♪ You've just spent so many years chased by a cloud, oh ♪

♪ And it's taken you so far, far past the cliff's edge ♪

♪ And now your feet just poke around to feel the ground, oh ♪
♪ And you say "Is this a joke?" I float "Come on now" ♪
♪ You see there's something down below ♪
♪ Just let me fall to be of use, make me the rainstorm ♪
♪ Just a piece of hail, you know ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You said, "All the time it needs to take ♪
♪ "And all the time there's a shiver from some fallen tear ♪
♪ ♪
♪ "But is it on this lack of fallen luck ♪
♪ To dream of things like a little river to the golden ground?" ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪