02x04 - Changetown

[bunniefuu]

Coffee's up.

(Brett moans)

Oh... thank you so much.

Yeah.

You make mine with agave?

Half a teaspoon.

You're the best.

So I've been thinking about the melange for the "Dune" play.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm thinking it's a mistake to go big, bright, bawdy.

I think we should do super understated.

Mmm. What if we make a... a sound that starts the whole play?

Like we're in a dark theater.

Yes.

And then the sound actually develops for when Paul shows up on Dune.

We don't really know what it is yet.

Don't know what that is.

Layer on top of it... (whistles)

And then there's a little glowing thing.

Tucked in there.

Just tucked way back on the stage.

It's a fully...

Christy: Guess what?

Night sh**t are way harder when you have to wrangle 100 extras who all claim that they know how to ride horses, and then when you get there, half of them have never seen a horse before, and at the end of the day, all they ever want is food.

Bert. Ernie.

There's that reference again. Twice.

Twice.

Franky, no, stop that!

Michelle: Okay.

Frank got oatmeal on my shirt.

Sophie, oh! Look at this now.

Ah, geez.

Tina: What's up, y'all?

Oh, finally!

Finally? I'm less than ten minutes late.

You're late, but you still stopped at Starbucks?

So?

Well, so Sophie's going to be late for school.

There's a schedule, thank you.

Or how about, "Thank you so much, Tina, for canceling your entire day so you could bail me out?

I really appreciate it."

Thank you. Thank you.

You're welcome. What can I do?

Okay, I need you to stay here with Frank.

He's gonna go down for his first nap in about an hour.

And then you go pick Sophie up at 12, and I'm gonna be a little late tonight, uh, so can you get dinner started, like, around five?

There's stuff in the freezer, okay?

Hello?

What? Yes, I got it.

Get out of here.

Okay.

Ten-four.

All right. Great. All right.

(sighs) Where are my keys?

Franky, did you hide Mommy's keys again?

Michelle: Okay. Everyone, split up. Look low.

Not here!

Not in here, Mommy!

Tina, I'm just gonna take your car and we can figure it out later.

I'm ready to go.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Sophie.

Excuse me. Come on.

What?

Are these my car keys?

Do you have any idea how they got out here?

I am going to need an answer, Sophie.

Why isn't Daddy sleeping in your bed?

(door opens)

Hi.

Hey.

Oh!

(sighs)

Thank you for meeting me.

Yeah, of course.

How are you and...?

I'm doing pretty good. How are you doin'?

I'm okay.

This is so weird. (nervous laugh)

You know, like, we haven't really had a conversation since...

Yeah.

Um, was there... was there something specific you wanted to talk about?

Um... su... sure.

Um...

It's been a couple of weeks and I think, um, I just wanted to kind of see where you're at.

Where I'm... at?

Well, I mean what... what are we doing?

It's just confusing and...

Yeah, it's definitely confusing.

Um... yeah.

Okay.

Okay, um...

Well, you know, like, Sophie asked me why you're not sleeping at home.

But you're supposed to tell her I'm working nights.

That's what we talked about.

That was the...

Yeah.

No, I've been telling her that, but...

So what's the problem?

For, like, two weeks. Well, she's smart is the problem.

I've been, like, spending a ton of time with her and I...

I spend more time with her than when I was even working. I don't understand...

I know, but she just is noticing that you're not sleeping at our house and sh... I just...

Okay. All right.

I will... I will figure out a plan and I'll...

I'll make that work with her. Okay? I'll take care of it.

Don't you think at a certain point we're going to have to... decide?

Like, are you gonna come home, or if you are then when?

I really don't want to be told right now when and how I need to decide what's going on.

I'll just...

I'm not telling you.

Okay, just...

Can we just keep it to logistics, please?

Okay. Um...

Money is gonna be tricky at a certain point, you know.

Like, we have some savings, but if you're not working...

I got a job.

Oh, I didn't know.

I'm an Uber driver.

Why... yes. Yes, I'm an Uber driver.

Look, it's...

A lot of people are doing it.

I'm just surprised...

Yeah, no. It's... for a second. Okay.

It's, you know, the profit margins when you have an electric vehicle are actually pretty good.

It's got flexible hours, so I can be with the kids, and it's kind of a mindless job, so I can work on my show, um, with Alex that I'm working on.

What kind of... what's...

It's not... Look, I'm just...

I'm interested.

I... I understand, I'm just saying the point is...

I care about your life. I'm not like...

Can...

I'm sorry if money's put stress on you. I don't...

Did you take your ring off?

(sighs)

Um, so then I'm just... I'm gonna go to work.

Okay. Who's got the kids?

Tina.

Great.

"Park off Lomita, walk through front entrance.

Sophie's classroom just inside down to the left."

Look at this.

Whoo-hoo! You ready to go get your sister, buddy?

I need some help, guys, because the Kickstarter didn't do what we hoped it would do and I'm just kind of out of ideas.

Doesn't David have a connection that he was working?

David... did, um, and it did... didn't work out, so...

(woman clears throat) Okay.

Hi. Hello.

Oh, hi.

Uh, my name's Anna and I really was just coming to listen, but my good, good friend from college actually founded a crowd-sourcing site that works specifically with nonprofits.

Oh.

And I know that she would give you guys fantastic placement on the front page.

Awesome. Thank you.

Can I talk to you after?

Absolutely. I'd love to.

Great. Okay. Anna, right?

Yeah.

Okay. Michelle.

Great.

Um, okay.

Hey, Miss Janie, lookin' good.

Oh. Oh.

Hello.

Shh!

(whispers) I got a sleeping baby here.

All right, lanyard, please.

What?

Lanyard, please.

I... I don't know what that is.

It's a carpool security lanyard.

Oh, yeah. You know what? I'm Sophie Pierson's aunt.

Is there any way someone could just run in and grab her and bring her to me?

No, no, no. You need a lanyard for this lane. Everybody has one.

I don't have one.

Okay, you know what?

You're going to have to use the main foot traffic gate.

Oh, no, no, see, 'cause if I go to the gate, he's going to wake up, and trust me, you don't want me to wake him up before the end of his nap.

I hear you. (cars honking)

Okay! Hang on, everybody!

You're starting a w*r here, lady.

Shh!

Can I just give you my license or something so I can...

You know what? License doesn't help.

A license isn't a lanyard.

I know, it's just...

(cars honking) Thank you so much. Hang on!

Please, pull out of this...

Could you let me through this one time?

Lady, lady.

He's sound asleep.

You need a lanyard. Okay? Thanks.

Woman: Move it!

Thank you.

(Frank sobbing)

Yeah, I know. That is my f*ckin' hair.

Sophie! Sophie, we gotta go! Sophie!

(Frank crying) I'm working on my turtle.

I know, but we gotta go. Frank's gotta go down. Come on.

Leave the turtle.

Alex: Thanks for the ride.

Christy: Yeah, dude.

Um, what time do you want me to pick you up?

Brett's going to get me, so you don't have to.

Oh. Okay. Are you going to use your Uber app?

Does he do it for free because you guys are lovers?

We're not lovers.

Does he have water in it?

Do you sit in the front or in the back? (laughs)

No, Lord Huron's doing an acoustic set tonight at The Echo, so we're just gonna, um...

Okay.

I mean, you're working nights, so I figured you couldn't come.

Yeah, but I mean, technically, I'm just day playing, so I could get time off.

Oh. Okay, I'm sorry.

Uh, do you want to come? It'll be fun.

No, you guys... No, that's cool. You guys do your thing.

Okay. Yeah.

All right, I got to get in there. All right?

Okay. Bye.

Bye, sweetie. Mwah!

(sighs) (car starts)

No, when I was in New York, I was a trial lawyer, and then I got pregnant with Hattie and, you know, my husband was moving up in the ranks, and I was just like, you know what? I'm going to stay home.

Yeah.

And I did and it's been amazing and I have loved it.

Yes.

I'm getting a little antsy.

But it's been great.

I get that.

Well, I mean, I'm trying to do 55 things at once right now, and I'm losing my mind, so if you're interested in helping that would be...

You know what I'm super good at?

What?

Doing 55 things at once. (laughs)

Thank God. What about 56?

No, honestly, Michelle, I would love to be a part of this.

That would be great. (laughs)

Yay.

Yeah.

Yay!

Yay! Good job.

(Russian accent) Demetri, there is nothing I can teach you.

The knowledge is... Come in!

(knock on door)

Hey, Alex.

Hey!

Here's your change for the first scene.

Cool.

Uh, wait, is that for me?

Yeah.

I don't think that's right.

No, it's right.

Uh, I don't...

(knock on door)

Are you... Yeah?

Hey, Alex.

Yes?

New sides for you. And gold chain options.

What? These are... Why do I have... What are the gold...

Man: Alex!

Big C!

(both laugh) Hey, buddy!

What's happening, brother?

How you doing?

Good lookin'.

(both roar) Oh, sh*t, Mayweather!

Got everything? Do you need anything? Got the new sides and sh*t?

I just got them and haven't had a chance to look.

Yeah, buddy, welcome to Change Town.

Change Town?

Yeah, nothing big.

Just some real fun stuff.

We're going to pump up your character a bit. I hope that's okay.

I love that, dude.

Cool.

Yeah.

Because the thing is...

I'm sitting behind video village...

Uh-huh... and I'm looking at you like sh1tting out gold. Great job.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

That's what you do.

But now I'm thinking you're not a vampire. Buddy, you're a pimp.

Are you... thanks, dude.

Yeah.

You know, I mean the character though, right? The character's now a pimp.

Are you... are you... Dude, you mean literally?

You're a lovable pimp.

(laughs) Wait, I just...

Hey, who's a lovable pimp? Yeah, they're yelling Pappas.

Uh, but didn't we sh**t, um, three episodes with me playing...

Oh, sh*t!

That's the best part. We're going to do it all in voice-over.

Maybe, like, a day or two of reshoots. Not a big deal.

'Cause you played it so f*ckin' perfect, man.

You did your thing where you're ambiguous, so it could go this way, it could go that way.

We're going to get the whole arc, man.

It's a done deal. Dude, keep this up, we're going to have to make you a series regular, swear to God.

Pappas!

(Frank crying) Okay, buddy. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Oh, no, no, no. Please, buddy. Please stop crying. I know.

(crying) (honks horn)

Calm down, buddy. We're almost there.

(tires screeching) Sophie: Oops!

Sophie!

What?! You're a bad driver!

(Frank crying)

Yep. Please, don't cry anymore. Please!

(Frank crying) Sophie: I'm hungry!

Uh, read the room, Sophie! I can't do it right now!

Sophie: What does that mean?

Uh, just get it yourself, dude!

Sophie: Okay!

Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah.

Sophie: Tina! Orange juice!

Yeah, Sophie, just a second!

(crying)

I'm mad at you too.

Sophie, what happened?! Sophie, what is this?!

Oh, God! Can you not put the carton back?

Oh! Oh!

Ow! Ow!

(Sophie crying) Ow, ow, ow!

(Frank crying) Oh, God! Oh!

(Sophie, Frank crying) Oh...

Sophie: My elbow hurts!

Tina, my elbow!

(Sophie, Frank crying) Ahh! Shut up!

Both of you! Just be quiet!

(stops crying)

Oh, my God.

(inhales) I mean, you got to be kidding me!

I mean... (laughs)

(both laughing) Look at my shoes!

Look at my shoes! This is real leather.

This is... these shoes, you know how much...

(laughs)

Are...

All right, you know what? Hey, hey!

(laughing) I'll get you, missy.

(singsong) Your mom's gonna k*ll me, yes, she is.

Your mom's gonna k*ll me, yes, she is.

Oh, your mom's gonna k*ll me, yes, she is.

Hey, your mom's gonna k*ll me...

(speaking indistinctly)

It just really bothered me. Have you ever had that experience?

Man: (on iPhone) What has a world to do with the spice melange, he asked himself.

(indistinct chatter)

Suck my d*ck, bitch.

(door opens)

Hi! Hi!

Got a delivery for you here.

Thank you.

All right. Come here, you.

I love you. I love you.

See you guys later.

Bye, Daddy!

Bye!

Did you take the money?

(loud smack) Man: Cut!

Yeah, man, you nailed her!

Hey, buddy.

Hm? What do you think?

Hey, Tin.

Well, hello.

Hello.

Hello.

You started without me. Good.

So how bad was it?

You know, it was actually kind of great.

Really?

Really.

Do you think that it's wrong that I'm in love with my nephew?

And on occasion, we make out.

Ew!

(laughs) Not in a gross way. He's a baby.

Oh, all right. (Tina laughs)

Well, that's great, I guess.

He's so adorable, it's crazy.

I'm thinking of staying on as kind of like a... auntie nanny.

Well, that's... great.

Yeah, you're saying that's great, but you're looking at me like I just told you I found a unicorn in my ass.

(laughs) No, look, I'm just surprised.

Why is that so surprising?

Just 'cause it's different from the way you usually talk about sitting for the kids.

Well... it's different now.

I know what I'm doing, and, um, maybe I've changed my mind.

You're not saying you want kids?

Are you or...?

(laughs) You should see yourself right now.

It's like sheer panic.

No.

Yes, it is! No, I'm not saying I want kids, but would it be so horrible if I did want them someday?

No, of course not.

You know, I don't exactly know what to say in these moments when you get like this 'cause the feeling I have is there's absolutely nothing I could say that would be right right now, so what would you...

What would you like me to say right now? Just tell me.

"I think it's lovely that you could see yourself having a family and having children and I think you'd be really f*cking great at it."

Well, I really think it's lovely that you can see yourself having kids someday and...

Pfft!

Well, look, look. If I'm being honest, everything you've said about kids up until now would not lead me to believe that you would be...

That I'd be good at it.

Well, yeah.

I mean, yeah.

Well, I don't even know if we're having this conversation right now or we're not having this conversation right now, but...

f*ckin' Larry, I'm not asking you to have a f*cking kid with me right now!

I just came and said I enjoyed my day!

Why are you talking to me like this?

Because you're making me feel like sh*t.

(door slams) What the f*ck?

I don't know, I don't want to sound like I'm being a little bitch about it 'cause I'm grateful just to have an acting job.

Yeah.

But, uh...

Is it maybe not everything you hoped it was going to be?

I mean, I wouldn't say that, but, um...

Dude, I'm so excited to hear you say that. (laughs)

I thought you were going Hollywood on me.

I'm just so... Dude, I'm just psyched we get to do our thing together, all right? It's all good.

We're talking about puppets, but we don't want our puppets to look like puppets. That's the thing.

We got to find our own voice, man.

I want our "Dune" show to be, like, fresh.

Yeah!

Like melange-y.

(both laugh)

This is what we need. We need the spice from the planet Dune.

That's it. (laughs)

It's like there's no movement going on.

It's like I will f*ckin' wake up convinced that I'm going to call Michelle and be like, "f*ck you, how dare you be this reckless with our marriage and our family. I'm f*cking done." And then literally five minutes later, I'm like, "It was... It was a mistake.

Everybody makes mistakes. Be the bigger man. Get over it."

And I get all down on myself and I'm literally in the 50/50 spot. It's not changing.

Yeah.

And then I got this whole other added stress with the f*cking kids. I thought I had a system that would make them not feel weird about the fact that I'm not there, but it's not really working and it's...

Dude, I don't know if I can do this.

(Brett, Alex imitating drums)

(laughs) It's more fill.

It's only fill. (laughs)

(stops laughing) Hey!

I thought you had work today.

They didn't need me tonight.

(burps) You should have called.

I did, like, five times.

Oh.

Oh, sh*t. Sorry, my phone d*ed.

Right. Hi, Brett.

What's up, Christy?

So anyways, Alex, I was calling because I was thinking we should probably f*ck tonight.

(burps)

(laughs)

Okay, sorry. I was looking for like a really fast, positive, immediate response to that.

No! No, that's great. That's a brilliant idea.

Oh, cool. That's good.

I love that. I just... I'm a little drunk.

Okay. I'm going to go to the bathroom and then I'm going to come back and I'm going to have an orgasm here in the next ten minutes, and you just let me know if you're involved in that. Okay?

Or if your hand is just for, like, air drumming and dumb sh*t.

Um, I really want to keep talking about "Dune"...

Mm-hm... but I think I have to go have sex with my girlfriend.

(both laughing)

(door opens)

(whispers) Michelle?

You awake?

Brett: Hello?

(gasps) Oh!

Oh, my God! What are you doing here?

Um, I kind of live here.

Um, what are you doing here?

I just got in a fight with Larry.

Um, is everything okay?

Yeah.

He said I'd be a shitty mom.

Have you and Larry been talking about having kids?

No.

And I guess we won't be any time soon.

But I mean, you know, you don't just say that.

Like, you would never be with somebody who you thought that about.

So that shows what he thinks, you know.

I just sometimes get the feeling that, um... it's not going to happen for me, you know what I mean?

Like, the things that I thought were going to happen are just not going to happen.

Look...

You don't have to say anything.

It's not my place, obviously, but... you're really...

Psycho.

I was gonna say...

Mess.

A... frighteningly tenacious person.

Um, and...

I think if you decided you wanted to be a mom, you'd probably be pretty great at it.

Really? Me?

Yeah.

Thanks.

♪ It's all here now ♪
♪ It's all here ♪
♪ Now it's all here ♪
♪ Now it's always been here ♪
♪ It's all right now ♪
♪ It's all right ♪
♪ Now it's all right ♪
♪ Now it's always been right ♪
♪ You do not have to leave ♪
♪ Or go out walking, dear ♪
♪ You do not have to reach out ♪
♪ To somebody near ♪
♪ You do not have to hold it ♪
♪ In your fingertips ♪
♪ It's always been there with you ♪
♪ You are what it is ♪
♪ And it's all right now ♪
♪ It's always been all right ♪
♪ All right ♪