01x35 & 01x36 - Dance Dance Resolution/A Fair to Remember

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Loud House". Aired: May 2, 2016 - present.*
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
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01x35 & 01x36 - Dance Dance Resolution/A Fair to Remember

Post by bunniefuu »

[poppy punk music]



- Tomorrow is April Fools' Day.

Every year, my sister, Luan,
creates a prank apocalypse,

and no one is spared.
I present to you

Luan Loud's April Fools'
highlight reel.

[poppy punk music]

- I'd say this prank's
a little over your heads.

[laughing]

[chickens clucking]

Seems to be your clucky day.

[laughing]



I guess that's a wrap.

[laughing]

Aww, look at the Loud family
gettin' jiggly with it.

[laughing]

I shaved the best for last.

[laughing]



- See what I mean?

Nobody's safe from
that evil pranking genius.

But this year's
gonna be different.

Luan is not gonna prank me,

because I've got
an April Fool-proof plan.

You're not the only one
who can make a pun, Luan!

- Bubble wrap me next!

- I need more armor.
- Where's my helmet?

- Bobby, we have to cancel
all our plans in April.

[indistinct talking]

Because Luan might shave
my eyebrows off again,

and it takes a month
for them to grow back.

- Come on, Lisa,
let me hunker in your bunker.

- You should have
been more prepared.

We've known this storm
was coming for days.

- Please, give me shelter.

- [whistling]
- Arms up, Lincoln.

Your turn for bubble wrap.

- Not this year, Lola.
I'm not getting pranked.

- It's never been done!
- Are you crazy?

- Ladies, ladies.
I've got a plan.

I'm simply going
to lock myself in my room

until the day is over.

I've got snacks, video games,
and a hose to pee in,

which I call the Tinkle Tube.
Patent pending.

all: Ew!
- Cool.

- It goes out the window.

The point is, I'll never
have to leave my room,

so Luan will never get me.

[clanking]

[dramatic music]

- Ooh.
It's Pranksmas Eve,

and I'm just bubbling
with excitement.

[pops]

- I'm gonna need
more bubble wrap.

And a fresh pair of undies.

- Thanks for the lumber, Lana.
I'll return it on April nd.

- Mahogany was a good choice.
That'll hold nicely.

[motor revving]

[nails snapping]

- Clyde, you wanna
hang out tomorrow?

I built us a fortress
with snacks, games,

and a Tinkle Tube.
Patent pending.

- On Pranksgiving?
No way.

Not after what happened
last year.

[birds chirping]

[ominous music]



[Luan laughing]

- Aah!

- But nothing's
gonna happen this year.

I've got
an April Fool-proof plan.

[cell phone chimes]
Hang on, Clyde.

Ronnie Anne just texted me.

She says
she's coming over tomorrow

with a present for me.

[gasps]
She can't come over tomorrow.

She'll get nailed by Luan's
pranks and then pulverize me.

- Just tell her
to come over another day.

- I can't do that.

That would definitely
get me pulverized.

- Then you got to get Luan
to call off Prankapalooza.

Appeal to her humanity.
Beg if you have to!

- Good idea.

Just as soon as I get
the mahogany off my door.

[grunting]
[wood creaking]

[suspenseful music]

Luan, you've got to call off
Prankageddon. Please.

Ronnie Anne
is coming over tomorrow,

and I can't let her get pranked.
- Okay.

- Really?
Wow, that was easier than I--

- April Fools' practice!

Lincoln, you know
the April Fools' rules.

Anyone who sets foot
on our property is fair game.

Speaking of which,
is Clyde coming over?

'Cause I'd love
to just say, "Hey."

[laughing]

[nails snapping]

- Clyde, pleading with Luan
did not work.

She's an animal.

[animal screeching]
What was that?

- Oh, that's Cleopawtra.
She's been fiesty lately,

so we put her
in the time-out crate.

- Time-out crate.
That's it!

[grunting]
Ugh, why did I choose mahogany?

[playful music]

Okay, we're all here?
Good.

So, about Luan...

- Shh.
She's got ears everywhere.

I saw this in a mob movie once.

She won't hear us
over the noise.

- We all know tomorrow's
going to be awful,

but it doesn't have to be.

If we combine forces,
we can prevent Luan

from setting up
any pranks in the first place.

- Uh, how exactly
are we going to do that?

- Let me tell you my plan.

- Better make it snappy.

We're almost done
with the spin cycle.



- [snoring]



- [imitating bird call]



[struggling and commotion]

- Let me out of here!

- Okay.

- Really?
Wow, that was easier than I--

- April Fools!

We aren't letting
you out until April nd.

[all cheering]

- That was
a crate plan, Lincoln.

[rimshot]
[laughter]

- I've been crating
for this moment all my life.

[rimshot]
[laughter]

- Well, better crate than never.

[rimshot]
[laughter]

- You're in a crate.

Get it?

- Maybe we should
just go to bed.



[screaming]

[dramatic music]

- We're doomed.

Luan escaped,
and now she's gonna be mad!

- How could this have happened?

- She's a black magic
woman, dude.

- I got to get
my money back for these.

[splat]

all: [gasping]

- Peace out.
I'll be in my bunker.

- Everyone else, to my room.
We'll be safe there.

[suspenseful music]

- What's all this ruckus about?

- Luan's on the loose.
Take cover!

- But we thought
you locked her up.

- Plan B!
Retreat! Retreat!

[cell phone chimes]

- Oh, no.
Ronnie Anne's on her way?

Could this day get any worse?



Well, that's my answer.

But on the plus side,
that's one less prank

Ronnie Anne could suffer.

[ding]
[gasps] That's it!

If I set off
all the pranks in the house,

there won't be any left for her.

- Lincoln!
It's not safe out there!

- Save yourselves.
I got a job to do.

- Don't worry, Lincoln.
I'll plan your funeral.

[nails snapping]

- I'll start by
de-pranking the kitchen.



"Kitchen this way"?
[scoffs]

Does she think I'm dumb enough
to fall for that?



Well, here goes nothing.

[yelling]
Ow.



Ugh!

Aah!
Ow.

Aah!

- I made that dish from scratch.
[laughing]



- Lisa Marie Loud, let us in.

- I'll need
some assurances in return.

One: I will never again
be punished

for the explosions
in or around the house.

- Happy April Stools.

- Are those diapers?
She wouldn't.

- Whatever you want.
Just let us in!

- Sign here, here,
and initial here.



- Aah!
Ha.

[beeping]

Uh-oh.
[beeping quickens]

[coughing]

Aah!

Towel, towel, towel.
Where's the towel?

Aah!

- Don't give up.
No one likes a critter.

[laughing]

- I think if we ration the food,
we should be okay.

- What does "ration" mean?

- Typical.
Now someone has to go

into the kitchen
for more supplies.

[all arguing]

- Let's draw straws.

- [sighs]
I'll just go.

I know I'm gonna lose.
I'm a terrible artist.

- Actually, that's not what--

- Good luck, Leni.

[nails snapping]



- "Kitchen this way"?

Oh, thank you, sign.



Thank you, sign.

Thank you, sign.

Thank you, sign.

- Okay, living room.
So far, so good.

[alarm beeping]

I think this
is how you kiss a girl.

- Don't hold back, Lincoln.
Girls like a guy with passion.

[smooches]
[balloon pops]

- I can't let
Ronnie Anne see this.

I think this--
Aah, stop, stop.

Ugh.
Ugh!

[peeling]

Ugh!

- Looks like spring
is in the air.

[laughing]



- Just got to finish
the bedrooms.

[commotion]
[grunting and yelling]

[breathing heavily]

- Lincoln.
What's happening?

Lucy just invited me
to your funeral.

- Ow. I've been setting off
all the pranks in the house

so Ronnie Anne doesn't get hit.

I've gone through every room
except Leni and Lori's.

[radio static]
Clyde? Hello?

[doorbell ringing]

- I volunteer
to clear Lori's room.

[commotion]
[cat screeching]

It was worth it.

Lori's room smells like
apple cinnamon.

- That might be this pie.

[sigh]
Well, I think that's it.

The Loud house is prank-free.

[splat]

- [laughing]

I won!
You thought you'd outsmart me,

but you got
the worst pranking ever.

- You didn't
really win, Luan.

I only set off the pranks

because Ronnie Anne
was coming over.

- Yeah? Well, who do you think
invited her over, genius?

I knew I had to lure you
out of your room,

so I called Ronnie Anne
and told her how much

you love April Fools' Day,
and here she is

to deliver the final blow.



[splat]

- Huh?
Why'd you do that?

- You took all those pranks
for me.

It's the least I could do.

Come on.
Let's draw some eyebrows on you

and go get a milkshake.



- That girl's a keeper.



- I think it's over.

- Yes!
- I can't believe we made it!

- Wait.
Where's Leni?

- I have my suspicions.

- Okay, everybody in the van.

Let's find Leni,
and then afterwards,

frozen yogurt to celebrate.

Ha-ha.

[all cheering]

[van doors closing]

[engine grinding]

[splat]
all: Luan!

- Aww, the end of April Fools
always makes me feel a little...

blue.

[laughing]
Get it?
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