06x02 - A Bitter Draught

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Once Upon a Time"...

What you saw was a small piece of the end of your story. You will die.

Emma: This could be the end of the Evil Queen.

Regina: I want to start a new story.

And this story will have a better ending than my last.

You ripped out the part of yourself that was most like me!

Let's have a drink, sis.

Time for some sisterly bonding.

I agreed to a drink, not a private graveyard tour.

Where are we going?

You'll see.

No. No way. I can't let you in there.

If Regina didn't want me helping myself to a few ingredients, she wouldn't have sealed the vault with blood magic.

And how do you know I won't tell her about this little field trip?

[Chuckles] Because you already would have.

Why do you need all that magic?

Because I already used everything The Dragon had in his shop to get to this pitiful little town.

And what became of him?

Let's just say he should have known better than to get in my way.

[Chuckles]

Sound advice for us all, no?

You're worried I'm going to hurt my better half, aren't you?

It remains to be seen which half is better.

Relax.

I'm just going to use this to teach Regina a lesson... that she can never escape who she really is.

And what do I get out of it?

A sister who... appreciates all of your delightfully malevolent qualities.

A sister like you.

Okay, Mom. Are you ready for this?

[Sighs] Yeah.

Everyone listened to me before... because I was the Evil Queen.

Now I'm going to show them that I'm just as strong without her.

Remember what we're calling it...

Operation Cobra: Part Two.

Part two?

Yeah.

This time, you're the hero.

[Indistinct conversations]

Man: Makes no sense to me.

Okay! Room keys are on the counter.

Fresh clothes are by the jukebox.

Man #2: What's a jukebox?

Lunches are by the front door.

[Door opens, door bells jingle]

Your Majesty, it's about time.

The rabble are getting restless.

[Clears throat]

As mayor, I would like to officially welcome you to Storybrooke.

You fled to the Land of Untold Stories because you were afraid that whatever was in this book is going to play out.

But now that you're here, I'm sure you're scared it will.

But what you don't realize is...

I'm just like you.

I'm also getting a fresh start, and I don't know what the future holds either.

But I do know one thing.

We don't have to be afraid of anything, because whatever comes next, we're going to face it... together.

[Applause]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Door bells jingle]

Belle: Hey, does... does anyone know...

Belle.

[Chuckles]

You're here, and you're awake.

Yeah, and I need a place to stay.

What about the Crocodile?

We're, uh... we're not together at the moment.

So, I thought maybe Granny would have a room.

Oh, I would not wish those mattresses on my worst enemy.

We'll find you something better.

Aye. I know just the place.

What do you say, Swan?

Oh, I...

I have an appointment with Archie.

Ah, you're still gonna see the cricket?

I'm impressed.

Did you think I was gonna back out?

Well, you know, being vulnerable isn't exactly your strong suit.

You're right.

We've been through a lot.

Can't hurt to talk about it.

I'm glad to hear it, love.

Right.

This lady needs to find some accommodation.

Right this way.

Who are you?

Beg your pardon.

What's your name?

If I could find your story, then maybe we could figure out how to pick up where you left off.

You won't find me in there, my boy.

I'm not important enough to have my own tale.

Don't say that.

Let me just see if I can find you.

[Classical music plays]

[Bell jingling]

Butler: Mesdames and messieurs, I present to you your host for this evening... the Count of Monte Cristo.

Welcome, dear guests.

Thank you for joining me on what I'm sure will be a memorable evening.

We should be the ones thanking you.

After all, you're the one throwing this party.

Nonsense, Baron.

This evening wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for you.

To the Baron!

Together: To the Baron!

To what do I owe the honor?

[Chuckles]

Do you really not recognize me?

What is it... clothes, gold, perhaps the scar above my eye?

Edmond Dantes.

Bravo. I knew you'd get there.

No, Edmond Dantes is in prison.

I put him there myself.

Indeed, you did.

Right after you burnt down his home, squandered his family fortune, and m*rder*d his fiancée.

But he escaped that dungeon.

Rebuilt his fortune piece by piece.

It may have taken more than a decade, but he became the man you see before you, and all for one reason.

[Crowd gasps]

Now, you aren't clever enough to have destroyed my life on your own.

Who helped you?

Go ahead. k*ll me.

But this masquerade won't bring you justice.

Oh, I'm after something much more satisfying...

[Grunts]

[Crowd gasps]

.. revenge.

[Sighs]

[Clapping]

Evil Queen: [Laughs]

Ah, nothing quite like the first k*ll.

Who are you?

Call me a fan of your work, hmm?

Did you really spend a decade of your life setting this up?

With the vengeance in my heart, it went by in the blink of an eye.

Well, it's hard to find commitment like that.

Pity the Baron didn't name names.

Hmm.

I can't imagine how long it will take you to find the next victim deserving of your revenge.

I am prepared to spend my entire life avenging my love.

But suppose you didn't have to.

The names... of every person who wronged you and your fiancée.

You don't strike me as the benevolent sort.

What do you want in return?

Just a little help getting some... r-r-revenge of my own.

And he just left it on the counter.

Then he vanished.

You think he might be the Invisible Man?

Or maybe a vampire.

What if he's Dracula?

Oh, wait. It's daytime.

Wrong count. Monte Cristo?

Sorry. Not on the menu.

Never a fan of the eggy bread.

No, Granny. It's a place.

And its Count has quite the reputation.

Oh.

Why would he want to meet with us?

He doesn't.

He wants you dead.

He wants his revenge, and that's the only way he can get it.

That doesn't make sense. We've never even met him.

Why would he want to k*ll us?

Because I hired him to do it.

[Ticking]

Emma, this is a safe space. You can trust me.

The tremors, they come with visions... or a vision.

One vision, actually.

What do you see in this vision?

Uh, all right. Um...

I'm on Main Street.

Henry and my family, Hook They're all there with me.

And I'm in a battle.

Against who?

I can't tell.

They're strong. So strong.

I'm giving it my all.

I almost start to win.

But then my hand starts shaking.

And what happens then, Emma?

I die.

That's the first time I've said that out loud.

[Breathes deeply]

Well, I think the more you talk about it, the less it will haunt you.

You think I should tell my family?

Well...

I mean, the question is, why haven't you?

Because I know exactly what they would do.

They would tell me to stop doing what I'm doing until they could save the day.

And what would be so wrong about them trying to protect you?

Because I'm the Savior.

A-And the Savior can't take a day off?

If I don't help people, then who am I?

Well, I don't know, Emma.

I mean, that's, uh...

[Sighs]

That's a question you have to ask yourself.

Okay, I'm not here for some identity crisis.

I just want you to help me figure out how to win this fight and protect the people I love.

I-I think you're here for me to help you deal with whatever's troubling you, and... and... and if that is an identity crisis, then...

Okay, this was a mistake.

Emma.

[Door closes]

He was definitely here.

Oh!

And calligraphy isn't his only hobby.

Why didn't you tell us?

Well, I didn't know he was in Storybrooke.

And do you really want to hear about every time I tried to k*ll you?

Yes.

I'm sorry. I'm...

[Breathes deeply]

You know I'm trying to put that behind me.

Clearly, the Count didn't get the memo.

Maybe that's the problem.

You hired him. You fire him.

Well, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

The invitation says to meet him at the dirigible in an hour.

Well, we're coming with you.

No.

This is my mess. I'll fix it.

And, really, it should go more smoothly if he's not trying to use you as a pin cushion.

You really think we need to worry about this guy?

It took him two curses and a pit stop in the Land of Untold Stories to find us.

Well, that's not exactly true.

[Horse neighs]

[Horse neighs]

We're too late.

Remind me why we spared the Evil Queen's life again.

We thought it would change her.

It changed her, all right.

Instead of ransacking villages, she's now razing them to the ground.

[Coughing]

Snow, over here.

[Coughs]

All right. You're all right.

Charming: We're here to help.

It's all right. You're safe.

What's your name, friend?

Edmond.

I was the vintner here.

When the Queen's knights att*cked, everyone fled.

I stayed to put out the fires.

It's okay, Edmond.

Charlotte!

Over here.

Charlotte's my handmaiden.

Thanks to this endless w*r, she's become quite the skilled nurse.

[Sighs] Let's see.

The burns aren't too bad.

A little salve will have you back to new soon enough.

Is something wrong?

No.

Your eyes.

What of them?

Thank you for your aid.

We must find the Queen and make her pay.

Well, that would make us no better than her.

The best way to get our revenge is to show the Queen that no matter what she does, we can always find happiness.

She destroyed my village, my vines, everything I have.

Right.

Well, perhaps you won't find happiness here.

But maybe you will at our castle.

We could use a wine steward.

What do you say, Edmond?

[Chuckles]

There's nothing I'd like more.

I'm afraid you're not on the guest list.

I'm calling off our deal, Count.

What happened?

Did they finally convince you that finding your happiness is the best revenge?

Actually, yes.

It took some time, but... they're right.

But that doesn't change anything.

Let me help you.

You don't need revenge to get over what happened to the person you loved.

If I can learn that, anyone can.

You may have sent me down this path, but not even you can take me off it now.

[Gasps]

On it.

What happened?

[Engine starts]

Errol Flynn is not backing down.

Where are you taking us?

I told Regina I'd take you somewhere safe.

Emma, no, we are not leaving town.

We're not running from our wine steward.

[Tires screech]

Oh!

What the hell was that?

Looks like the Count doesn't want you running either.

What? T-This is where you want me to stay?

The Jolly Roger?

Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I can't stay here.

If Rumple finds you harboring me...

His wrath will be an added bonus.

I don't understand.

Why would you risk your life for me?

[Breathes deeply]

Long ago, I...

I tried to k*ll you in the Queen's castle once.

I failed.

But along the way, I did something I can... live with no longer.

I laid a hand on you.

And there's the matter of my sh**ting you at the town line.

Yeah, well, you've changed since all that.

Maybe.

I have a long road to travel before I can be someone I can be proud of.

Despite the forgiveness of others, I must forgive myself, and I'm not there yet.

Well, then I accept.

You're not the only one trying to make up for past mistakes.

I spent way too long trying to make things work with Rumple just because I wanted them to.

Now I've got to do what's best for my son.

I don't think the Count crashed the car.

Protection spell?

Just like the one you used to keep everyone here during the curse.

[Sighs] Not like it.

This is the same spell.

Well, the only way to do that is with the ingredients from my vault, which I sealed with blood magic.

I...

[Whoosh]

Zelena: Regina. I got your message.

Is everyone okay?

You know, I'll never understand why you parade around in these deathtraps rather than just magicking yourself around town.

What happened?

Well, someone put a protection spell on the town line.

Really?

Well, who would do that?

I was gonna ask you the same question.

You're accusing me of causing this?

Oh, come on. Zelena, other than me, you're the only one who can open the lock to my vault.

That's not true!

Really?

Well, if it wasn't me, and it wasn't you... then who?

I have no idea, sis.

But I'm getting tired of this inquisition.

I'm starting to think the Count isn't the only one we have to be worried about.

[Grunts]

[Laughs]

Impressive, Your Majesty.

Well, what can I say?

You inspired me.

Perhaps you can give me a lesson.

Or two.

As much as I'd enjoy that, I can't be late for my first meal with Snow White and her prince.

So they believed you.

[Laughs]

I knew their insufferable kindness would be their downfall.

Venom of the Agrabahn viper.

A bitter draft... slow and painful.

Is there a problem, Count?

What did they do to deserve this?

They've shown me nothing but kindness.

Don't tell me you're starting to grow a conscience.

Call it professional curiosity.

[Sighs] Well, what they did doesn't matter.

Only one thing should be on your mind right now... how badly you want your revenge.

[Chuckles]

I thought so.

Rumplestiltskin: Well, this is very disappointing.

I mean, I didn't spend years training you so you could spend your days fencing and get someone else to do your dirty work.

Oh, you know exactly why I'm doing this.

You put a spell on Snow and Charming so I can't hurt them.

Yeah.

And then I gave you the Dark Curse so you could take them somewhere where you can.

I don't care.

I'm going to get what I want, and I'll get it without you.

Oh.

Are you sure about that?

If you think you can stop the Count, think again.

Is that a thr*at?

Mnh. It's a fact.

[Inhales deeply]

That protection spell you put on the Charmings...

I put the same enchantment on the Count to protect him from you.

[Both chuckle]

[Gasps]

Looks like the student has finally outgrown the teacher.

[Chuckles]

Mm, mm, mm.

Mwah.

Mm, mm, mm.

We'll see about that, dearie.

[Chuckles]

[Door bells jingle]

[Door bells jingle]

When I heard what Regina did, I thought, "No, this is too good to be true."

Don't lie. You're happy I'm back.

[Chuckles]

"Happy" isn't the word I'd use.

Now, where is it?

[Clicks tongue, sighs]

[Whoosh]

Did you really think you could steal from me?

Oh. It's just a piece of tin.

And yet, so much more.

You want a deal?

If you want this bauble, my terms are simple.

Whatever you have planned for this town, leave Belle and my unborn son out of it.

[Sighs]

Do you want the coin or not?

Fine.

I won't hurt them.

But... are you sure that's all you want in return?

Hmm?

What else did you have in mind?

Oh, I don't know.

The tales in the Land of Untold Stories aren't the only ones that never played out.

[Chuckles]

And what makes you think I have any interest in seeing how this one goes?

Eventually, you'll get tired of waiting for that bookworm to accept you for who you are.

And when you do... mm... that's when the real fun can begin.

[Indistinct conversation in distance]

Edmond, wait.

Is something wrong?

No, we just need one more glass.

Sorry I'm late.

Tonight, we say farewell to Charlotte.

I'm afraid she's leaving us tomorrow.

Charlotte: My mother's fallen ill, so I'm going home to help my family care for her.

Well, this family will miss you when you're gone.

Pour the wine, Edmond.

Tonight, we toast to old friends.

Thank you.

Edmond, what is it?

It's your eyes again.

That's... very kind of you.

[Sighs]

Well, thank you, Charlotte.

[Clears throat]

To Charlotte.

May she only find happy days ahead.

Wait!

What is it?

Is everything all right?

Yes. It's...

It's just, an occasion like this calls for a bottle to match, and, uh, I have just the one in the cellar, so... forgive me, miss.

I know you think this was your fault, Mom.

That's not it, Henry.

I stood up in Granny's and told everyone from the Land of Untold Stories not to be afraid.

They've only been here one day.

I can't let the first story play out like this, not when I'm the one who started it all.

[Gasps]

Mom.

[Sighs]

He poisoned her with the poison I gave him.

Mom, are you okay?

What the hell was that?

What the hell is going on?!

Evil Queen: The handmaiden's story finally caught up with her.

Just like yours is catching up with you.

Miss me?

Hi, sweetie.

Mommy's back.

No.

I k*lled you.

Did you really think it would be that easy?

Mom.

Get behind me, honey.

After everything I did for you, after everything we accomplished together, you threw me away like I never existed.

No, I threw you away because you existed.

What the hell?

I laced the girl's cloak with a magic dampening spell.

I should have known.

You've been controlling the Count this whole time.

Well, of course I have.

I don't leave things to chance.

That's why he didn't want my help.

That's why he said I couldn't stop him.

You ordered the Count to k*ll Snow and Charming all those years ago, so now... that's exactly what he's going to do.

[Chuckles]

You should be thanking me.

Edmond.

Edmond, come on.

This is all just a big misunderstanding.

Oh, you have no idea.

Edmond, we can explain everything.

The Queen's our friend. She's changed.

She doesn't want you to do this.

That's where you're wrong. She does.

Then why are you doing this?

[Grunts]

Because she has my heart!

Who, Edmond?

Who has your heart?

The Evil Queen.

[Grunts]

She can't be.

Yeah, well, it looks like she is.

But it doesn't matter.

We'll find a way to stop her.

We always do.

I hope so... because this isn't the ending I wished for any of us.

Having second thoughts?

[Giggles]

No need for that, dearie.

Tell me... why didn't you poison Snow White and Prince Charming?

I was prepared to poison them, but...

I saw Charlotte, and she reminded me of...

Your fiancée?

Yeah, yeah, I-I-I can see that.

I mean, before she became a rotting corpse.

Your love and... and the handmaiden share the same je ne sais quoi, n'est-ce pas?

She didn't deserve to die.

And if I had k*lled her just to get my revenge, I'd be no better than my enemies.

Yes, yes.

But... but Snow White and Prince Charmy-warmy, you gonna try again?

No.

They don't deserve to die either.

Hm. [Snaps fingers]

[Whoosh, thud]

What was that?

My insurance policy.

Let's just say in order for my plan to work, I need Prince Charming and Snow White very much alive and procreating.

Sorry for bluntness, but I need what I need.

So that means I must make sure that you're never tempted to k*ll them ever again.

Boop.

[Whoosh]

Charlotte?

[Giggles]

Why?

If you didn't want me to k*ll them, k*ll me, not her!

Would that I could, dearie.

[Breathing heavily]

Where's the antidote?

[Chuckling] Antidote? There isn't any.

There's no cure for this poison.

[Gasps]

No, no, no.

But it can be stopped.

A key?

This isn't any old key.

This is the key to the land where all stories come to a screeching halt, including Charlotte's story.

You know the one... where the poison reaches her heart.

[Chokes]

I go through there, she lives?

Indeed!

As long as you remain there.

If you should ever leave, her story and the poison shall r-r-resume.

And I hate to spoil the ending, but it's really quite tragic.

Then it's settled.

[Giggles]

I'm sorry.

All I wanted was a fresh start.

You can still get one.

Listen, I know the Evil Queen has your heart, but you can fight this.

Okay. That's a start.

I've tried to fight!

I can't!

Your story doesn't have to end like this.

My story ended the moment Hyde plucked us from the Land of Untold Stories!

Oh! Ow!

You mean Charlotte?

I'm sorry.

I was too late.

So the poison finally took her.

I may not have been able to save her, but I am going to save you.

Henry, call Emma!

I could use some of her magic right about now!

I can't! It's the Queen!

She did something.

[Laughs]

[Panting]

Stop!

Please.

This is the only way.

[Screams]

No!

Mom, Mom. Are... are you okay?

[Voice breaking] I'm so sorry.

Mom.

Henry.

Mom.

You did what you had to.

[Sobbing]

Edmond.

No.

I had no choice.

No, that's not true.

She is back.

I couldn't just stand by and watch the Count k*ll my friends.

Oh, I thought heroes always found a third way... unless, of course, this means you're not a hero.

[Laughs]

[Grunts]

I will rip your heart out!

Yes! That's the Regina I remember.

We do like it rough, don't we?

You didn't want the Count to k*ll Snow and David.

You wanted me to k*ll him.

Well, it was the only way to show you that no matter what you do... the darkness will always be inside.

And that tiny bit of darkness I awakened today is only going to grow.

Don't listen to her, Regina.

Snow... White.

Snow.

No, I'm not afraid of her.

We defeated you before. We'll do it again.

Oh, I'm not the one who's going to destroy your... happy endings.

Not this time.

Then who is?

You.

You're going to destroy everyone's happy endings.

You won't divide this family.

Oh, I won't have to.

The people from the Land of Untold Stories aren't the only ones with tales they don't want told.

And when your stories finally play out [Chuckles] I'll just sit back and watch you [Singsongy voice] tear yourselves apart.

[Chuckles]

Regina, it's not your fault.

[Chuckles] Right.

She trapped you. You didn't have a choice.

Of course I had a choice.

I could have kept the Evil Queen inside, where she was my problem.

No. This is exactly what she wants.

She want you to doubt yourself.

She's doing a hell of a job.

Look, Regina, this may be new for you, but I've faced the Evil Queen before, and I never once did it by running away.

Okay, we have to her head on, get ahead of her plan.

And how exactly do we do that?

I don't know.

This is the one time we are going to ask you to please think like the Evil Queen.

What did she mean when she said we all have stories we don't want told?

Emma.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

[Sighs]

This isn't how the Count's story should have ended.

I should have known that Operation Cobra: Part Two wouldn't have been as simple as I thought.

Why is that?

Because it's a sequel, and they're always more involved than the original.

I'm sorry, mate. I don't understand.

"Empire Strikes Back"?

"Godfather: Part II"?

What? What?

"Temple of Doom"?

You know... the best sequels ever.

It's definitely time for a movie night.

When my mom helped everyone during the first curse, it was simple.

Those people had been ripped away from the stories they wanted to play out.

And these people ran from their stories for a reason.

And before we can help them, we need to find out why they ran.

All right. Keep reading.

Right. Then let's get to work.

You all right, mate?

Yeah.

Just gonna get some air.

[Door bells jingle]

How do you like your gift?

I should have known it came from you.

Why'd you give it to me?

Simple.

Like I said, we all have untold stories waiting to be played out.

I hate to break it to you... this one's already been told.

You see, this was a good-luck charm I wrapped around my father's wrist before he left our farm.

Oh, you mean the trip where he left his untimely demise?

You're not gonna get in my head.

I made peace with what happened.

My father succumbed to weakness.

He got drunk.

Because of that, he d*ed in a cart accident.

Oh, I'm not here because of your daddy issues.

I'm here to ask you one question.

[Sighs]

Are you sure it was an accident?

[Baby Robin crying]

Shh!

Mommy's coming, sweet pea.

[Rattle shaking]

You like this rattle, don't you, little one?

My mother used to use it to soothe me.

Mm-hmm.

[Chuckles]

Our mother used that on you?

Yes.

And now it's yours.

Consider it a gift.

For what?

You didn't tell Regina about our little visit to the vault.

You didn't even tell her I was in town.

You know how much I admire the ability to keep a secret.

Oh.

So it was a test.

And, here, I thought you were different than Regina.

I am, because, unlike her, I will never doubt you again.

[Chuckles]

So, when you said I'd get my sister back...

[Sighs] you didn't mean Regina, did you?

I'm the sister you want, Zelena.

I know this because... you're just like me...

You would never settle for less.

And Regina is quite literally... the lesser of two evils.

[Chuckles]

[Knock on door]

Archie.

I'm sorry if I was out of line this morning.

I think you're right.

I think I probably should tell my family about the visions or dreams or whatever.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

But I can't. At least not yet.

Does this have anything to do with your rival, the Evil Queen?

You heard?

Yeah.

Bashful was my 4:00, and he likes to talk about current events before diving in.

She said she was gonna tear us all apart.

She's already tried to blacken Regina's heart.

Are you worried that she's gonna s-succeed?

I'm worried about who might be in the hood.

In my dream, I'm worried about who might k*ll me.

Wh... who, Emma? Wh... who's gonna k*ll you?

The one person who wasn't with my family in the vision...

Regina.

Are you worried about Regina or the Evil Queen?

I don't know.