01x05 - Reality Bites Me

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Pretty Little Liars". Aired: June 2010 to June 2017.*

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Four friends band together against an anonymous foe who threatens to reveal their darkest secrets, while unraveling the mystery of the m*rder of their best friend.
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01x05 - Reality Bites Me

Post by bunniefuu »

Narrator: Previously on Pretty Little Liars:

Hey.

Hey.

Do you have plans this weekend?

[CHUCKLES]

Ezra: I'm thinking we should talk about the assignment.

I know that you're not crazy about having me for a lab partner.

Emily: It's okay.

Any guy at this party would be happy to be with me.

We talked about this, okay?

Why are you taking Sears car? Hanna!

You will work off the cost of repairs in Sears mother's office.

Hanna: Okay, what's a Golden Orchid?

It's a national competition for historical writing.

More academic bling for Spencer.

Aria: I saw the way you were looking at my dad yesterday.

Find someone available. My dad isn't.

Aria: Mom? There's something you should know.

Somebody's in the house.

Aria: A sent this letter to my mom.

You know it's not your fault, right?

It's your dad's mistake. Totally.

No, it is my fault.

You did not hook up with her and then ask your kid to cover for you.

Ali said I should've told my mom right after it happened.

Ali? Alison knew?

Yeah. She was with me.

So Alison saw this Meredith person?

Meredith? Her name's Meredith? Ew.

That's not a cute girl name. I'm seeing big pores and mousy roots.

Hann, I think it's a little too soon to joke.

Hanna: I'm sorry. But if you're gonna cheat...

...do it with someone who deep conditions her hair.

Here, put something in your mouth besides your foot.

I'm sorry, okay?

Look, all I'm saying is that when my dad left...

...laughing sometimes helped. So did crying.

My father hasn't left, guys.

I mean, this happened over a year ago.

You think he's gonna leave?

Look, whatever happens, we're here for you.

Thank you, guys, for staying here.

I couldn't have been here alone.

Whers your family getting back?

This afternoon.

Arert you gonna clean off the mirror?

Want me to come with?

We should all go.

You know what? It doesn't take four to clean a mirror...

...so why don't you three go and I'll just wait here?

Fine. Okay.

You stay down here. Alone.

But make sure you lock the door.

Right. You spray. I'll wipe.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

Well, the creature's back.

We should've never unblocked our phones.

Open the attachment.

That's us.

Was that sh*t from inside your closet?

Spencer: A was watching us.

[ALL SCREAM]

Guys...

...check it out.

[SCOFFS]

How do you not poke your eyeball?

What's up?

Uh... Nothing.

Look, um...

...are Mom and Dad acting weird with each other?

What do you mean?

I don't know. There's a vibe.

Yeah. Maybe.

Look, don't worry about it, okay?

What, are you only gonna do one eye? Is that a new Cyclops look?

Listen, I can take him to practice if...

I can do it.

Well, I'm done by 3.

Ella: I'll do it.

Okay, should we find someone to talk to?

A counselor? Therapist?

You would feel more comfortable talking in some office than in your kitchen?

Yeah, but we're not talking, Ella.

Are you done with this?

See you later.

Bye.

See you.

Tell me what to do to make this better. Do you want me to move out?

Don't make that my decision.

Well, do you think it would help?

How?

By making me deal with their confusion alone?

Or making me the bad guy that kicked their dad out?

Are they gonna be less confused seeing us walk around like sulky roommates?

I mean, we're not...

Hey.

Hey.

Do you want some breakfast? There's yogurt.

No, I'm good with a granola bar.

I'm gonna go to work. I've got office hours.

Hey, good luck with that French test, okay, sweetheart?

Look, Mike knows something's up.

Are you gonna tell him?

Yeah. You know, when I can.

Okay, well, just don't wait too long.

Hard to keep it from you for a year.

I don't wanna have to do that to him too.

A year? You've known about this for a year?

Yeah. I thought Dad...

Wait, he didn't tell you that he asked me to...?

Mom, I can miss first period if you wanna talk or...

It's okay.

This is between me and your dad.

Don't worry.

[OBJECTS FALL]

Need some help?

Oh, hi. Hey.

No. No, I got it.

Stupid shoe.

My mom forgot to mention the new job required a uniform, huh?

No, it's cool. I like it.

Hideous looks good on me.

I know...

Listen, I tried...

Sorry. What were you gonna say?

I tried to take the fall for the car.

You did? Why?

Felt bad about what went down at Noel's party.

I told my parents I gave you the keys and I'd pay for the repairs.

No, no, I should pay for the repairs. It was my fault...

...and besides, working at a dentist's office will help me with my fear.

Scared of dentists?

Children.

Your mom is making me hand out sugar-free lollipops to 6-year-olds.

They don't bite at that age, do they?

[LAUGHS]

Look, I know we haven't talked since that night...

...but since we are now...

...do you wanna talk about homecoming?

I mean, do you still wanna go? You know, with me?

I hadrt really thought about it.

Coach has us on a lot of two-a-days. That's a lot of pressure.

And with everything else, I just...

Yeah. No, I get it.

No, but we... We should.

Talk about it.

[HORN HONKING]

I gotta go. That's my ride.

You cannot seriously think that a blind girl broke into my house.

That would take a lot more than a talking GPS.

Well, I didn't say that Jenna was alone.

Let's not go to the Toby place, okay?
Aria: Why not?

You guys think her guide dog left behind his lipstick?

Yeah, do you wanna ask what your lab partner was doing last night?

If maybe he took a break from sitting on his porch...

...pulling heads off of squirrels? SHELDRAKE: Spencer.

Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt...

...but I hope you're proud of your friend as I am.

Congratulations. My instincts were right.

This just makes it official.

What's that about?

An essay contest.

Wait, did you win it? Arert you gonna open the envelope?

Hanna: Why should she?

She wins an award for waking up.

[BELL RINGS]

Sodium borate.

Easy.

That glass beaker's made of glass.

Maybe you should do it.

I've had too much coffee and not enough sleep.

Big party on a Thursday night?

No, I slept at a friend's.

What did you do last night?

Sat at the Grille doing homework.

That's where you study?

Got to.

Jenna listens to her lectures loudly and it messes me up.

She doesn't like using her headphones at home.

Why the Grille? It's not exactly quiet there either.

It is if you stay late enough. I close the place, like, every night.

So whose house did you stay at last night?

That new girl?

Who? Maya?

Why would you think that?

Just figured that she's the newest member of your posse.

Has she learned the secret handshake yet?

She's more my friend than the group's.

Why is that?

She just cares about different things.

Different's good. I like different.

This town has too much of the same.

Hey there.

Hey.

I've been thinking about you. How are things with your family?

They're tense. And getting worse.

Can you give me an excuse not to go home?

Extra credit assignment or six-hour detention?

[BOTH LAUGH]

I'm sorry, I actually can't stay late today.

I've got this thing.

Oh.

Well, no, it's not a thing. It's just a thing.

A reading.

Of a story.

That I wrote.

You're reading it out loud?

Can I come?

You can. But if it sucks...

...I'm going to have to hurt myself, you'd be a witness, it could get ugly.

You're the teacher, I'm the student, remember?

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Do you like the color?

Uh-huh.

Thank you.

Hey.

Those are for you.

Buttercreams. They're your favorite, right?

Yeah, they were. When I was, like, 7.

Thanks, Daddy.

So you finally spoke to Wren?

No.

But I spoke to Mr. Sheldrake.

You didn't really think you were gonna keep this essay secret, did you?

Spencer, this is a coup for you.

If Ivies werert onto you already, they are now.

I'm seeing a cage match between Harvard and Yale.

Dad, it's really not that big of a deal.

Oh, now you tell me.

Your mother's already taken out a full-page ad in the club newsletter.

I'm kidding. Come on.

Have a buttercream.

I'm proud of you, Spence.

At least let me brag about you tomorrow.

What's tomorrow?

Oh, I'm taking Russell Newhoff to the club.

He's a potential new client.

Up for playing doubles if he brings his daughter?

Sure. Hey, you wanna volley with me?

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

I'd love to, but I have a bunch of calls to return.

And a prize-winning essay to read. Don't forget to put it on my desk, okay?

Dad, you don't have to read this one. It's really not one of my best.

Somebody sure thought it was.

Don't give awards to people who don't deserve them.

Woman: Hello, dental office.

One moment, please.

Hello, dental office, how may I help you?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hello?

Can I help you?

No. No, I was just looking for a place to toss medical waste.

Must be a different floor. Thanks for your help.

I didn't think this would take so long.

I don't mind.

I like being in school when nobody else is.

"Viscosity, elasticity and tensile strength."

Anything else we need to cover?

Maybe our noses. This stuff's rank.

Oh, God.

I'm so sorry.

It's just water.

Emily: Did you draw this?

It looks just like the cover from this band, Circa Survive.

This is so good.

You know that band?

My cousin works at a bar on South Street.

He snuck me into a show.

Have you heard any of their new stuff yet?

It's totally...

Amazing.

If you're into them, there's this other band I should turn you onto.

I'll burn you a CD.

Thanks.

I should go. I'm gonna be late for swim practice.

Um... Emily?

Yeah?

My notebook.

Oh, jeez, I totally need more sleep.

Or more coffee.

Wanna meet up at the Grille later?

Sure.

Ezra: And in an instant, her life was undone.

Everything she'd known disappeared, drifting into the summer sky.

Thank you.

Man: Yes!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Yeah.

He doesn't suck, huh?

You know this guy?

Yeah. He's my English teacher.

Oh, very cool. Me and him go way back.

We used to sleep together.

[SNIFFS]

Bunk beds. College.

Do you have a name, fan-girl?

Aria.

Hardy.

Ah. Ah. Hey.

What the hell are you doing here?

I thought I'd come get some face-time with the president of your fan club.

Wha...? You two know each other?

Yeah, well, not as well as you two know each other.

I heard about the bunk beds.

We just met. But I'm glad I sat next to her.

Kicking me so I wouldn't snore.

No, no, no, seriously, how did you know about this?

I don't live in a cave.

Saw it on the website, thought it was my duty to come heckle you.

I should be in a cave. Was it really that bad?

No, it was beautiful. I mean, that metaphor at the end...

Wait. That was a metaphor?

I thought it was about a kid who lost her balloon.

You thought Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...

...was Mexican p*rn.

That's true.

Ezra: See, books aren't his thing, you know?

He used to pay me in frozen burritos to write his papers.

You know what would be great? If you told this lame story...

...while I had a beer in my hand. I'm grabbing a waitress.

Didrt know he was gonna be here.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Whoa. Good serve.

Hate to interrupt, but we're closed.

I was supposed to shut down 10 minutes ago.

Seriously? Can you just give me another five minutes?

Are you practicing for a tournament?

No. It... No, it's just a friendly game of doubles with my dad and some guests.

You and I have different ideas of what's friendly. That's an angry serve.

Well, it's been a long week.

Kind of been storing it up.

A strong slice is only half the battle.

You've got to k*ll it on the return too, you know?

Well, I'm just warming up.

Hardy: I hook up with her in the library...

...but you can't get serious in the sociology stacks, right?

So I take her to my room...

I can't believe you're telling this story.

Aria: Finish. I wanna hear.

She wants to hear.

So I get her back, you know, he's sound asleep, of course.

I get her shirt off, you know, things are happening...

...life is good, and this geek right here starts laughing.

In his sleep. Now, he's done this before...

...but she does not believe he's asleep.

Which I was.

You laugh in your sleep?

Mm-hm.

That's cute.

It's better than snoring.

Right.

You were up.

No, it's her turn.

Take it for me. I'm gonna grab some water.

Dude, you are so screwed.

It... It's not what you think it is.

Don't give me that look. It just happened.

And that makes it okay?

Hardy, wh...?

Ezra. She's cute, she's smart.

I get it, no argument. But she's your student.

That's not how I met her.

It doesn't matter.

When this is over, she'll get her diploma, you're gonna get a pink slip.

And an orange jumpsuit.

Okay, so how about this, the loser of the next game buys fries?

Sweet. Give it up.

You in?

Mm-hm.
Hey, thanks for this. I'm having fun.

Yeah, me too.

Here we go.

Here, I'll go.

Sorry I'm late.

My boss got chatty when they dropped the check.

But I only ate one lamb chop. The rest are yours.

What are we looking at?

The worst part of my day.

I thought it bottomed out when a kid aimed at me for "rinse and spit."

But now there's an Amber.

What's an Amber?

Amber is a cheerleader at Rollins High who loves skinny lattes.

Here.

See for yourself.

She's cute.

She's trying to date Sean.

She's hateful. We know this for a fact?

Well, she's suddenly become his personal driver...

...and God knows what else.

Hmm.

Driving is not dating.

Eat.

Mom, why are you feeding me?

My boyfriend left for someone who weighs 11 pounds.

He hasn't left you.

His car's in the shop.

Why can't he hitch a ride with someone...

...who's not majoring in can'twheels?

I'm sorry that you don't have a car of your own to drive.

But you'll have to talk to your father about that.

No, thanks. Besides, he's probably already picked one out for Kate.

Kate? Thought her name was Isabel.

That's the mother.

The girlfriend.

The fiancée.

He's marrying her?

Yeah. It... I found that out before I went to Spencer's last night.

I didn't see you this morning, so I thought that'd be weird to text you.

Yeah, that would've been weird.

Thanks.

Still, I'd rather hear it from you than from him.

I'm not surprised.

We've both moved on.

Try the broccoli. It's delicious.

I saved it. Just in case.

That's the lipstick Jenna was putting on in the elevator.

Are you sure?

Yes. It's Alisors color.

Same shade, same tube.

What I'm wondering is why was Jenna in an empty room for an hour?

I think we should call the police. There are fingerprints on this tube.

Well, yeah, ours.

If you want me to answer more questions, let me get in the office, see what I find.

Have you gotten any more e-mails?

Not since this morning. Have you?

No. I'm just wondering.

Emily. Hey, what are you doing here?

Emily: Uh... I was just... l...

Hanna had a run-in with Jenna Marshall today. Sit down.

Em, you know that dentist office I'm working at?

Well, I was going for my shift and I was in the elevator...

...and Jenna was in there.

And she had the same lipstick Ali wore.

The exact same color.

She had the same lipstick as Ali. That was Ali's lipstick.

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

So are all college boys like the ones in that bar?

Heh. And is it possible to say hello to a guy without putting them in a headlock?

Well, maybe when you go to college, you'll find out for yourself.

Okay, stop.

Did Hardy say something?

About us? Or about me?

No, why would he?

I was just having fun in a bar with a high school student.

Don't make it sound so awful.

Well, maybe it is.

I mean, if you think about it...

Well, why?

Was I acting like a high school girl?

Did I do anything to embarrass you? Have I ever done that?

No. It's not about that.

Okay, then what is it about?

I mean, is this Hardy's problem or is it yours?

Where did this come from?

Age is never an issue when we're together.

When it's just us. But when we're out in the world, people notice.

No, Hardy noticed.

Look, he's your friend and... I mean, if you're okay with it...

...I really doubt it's gonna bother him.

Aria, let's get real.

In theory, we are a lot more wrong than we are right.

You wanna be real?

Forget about theory.

What does it feel like when we're together?

Good. It feels right.

[SIGHS]

I wanna be with you.

I wanna hang out in a bar, introduce you to my friends...

...split a plate of fries like everybody else.

But I don't think we can do that.

When I'm with you I don't care about anybody else.

What...? So are you...?

Are you talking yourself into this or out of it?

Yes.

No. No. Maybe.

So...

Let's review.

Look, we're here now...

...and it's just the two of us.

And it feels good.

So let's not care together.

Where are you going?

I have an early tennis date with my dad and I have no idea what I'm gonna wear.

There may be this boy...

Boy? What boy? Details.
Spencer: Yeah.

Well, there's none yet.

But I'll keep you guys posted.

Are you Emily?

No. Em.

Someone left this for you.

Pretty. Who made that?

Somebody from school.

Whoever made it must like you a lot.

No. We were just talking about this band we both like.

Is it from somebody you like back?

Sorry. You don't have to tell me anything.

But, Em...

...if there's someone in your life who cares about you...

...then I'm happy for you.

No matter who they are.

Wait. You sure you have to go?

Yeah. Yeah. It was so weird when I left home this morning...

...I'm not sure what I'm gonna walk into.

I like having you here.

Well, I didn't say I wasrt coming back.

What if I cook dinner tomorrow?

Oh, you cook?

Yeah.

How do you feel about enanced macaroni and cheese?

Frightened. What do you mean by "enanced"?

Well, it means I'm cooking fettuccine but don't get your hopes up.

Okay.

[BLENDER WHIRRING]

Hey, champ. How was practice yesterday?

Good. I'm ready to bury them.

Heh. Yeah. You know, about that.

Might wanna keep it friendly on the court, okay?

Why does everyone think I'm unfriendly?

I'm serious, Spence.

Turns out Newhoff and his daughter aren't exactly Venus and Serena.

So just dial it back a bit.

But, Dad, I was there for five hours yesterday swatting balls.

Good, then hopefully you'll be a little sore.

You asking me to throw the match?

Spencer, I'm asking you to just look at this as a means to an end.

Okay, if he wins, I win.

Got it?

Easy.

[SIGHS]

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Oh, Martha, you're here.

Next time, just push the button.

Excuse me?

Push the button. That tells me you're here.

Okay.

It's your first visit, there's paperwork.

Why don't you fill it out in my office? I'm still renovating out here.

Please, have a seat.

Phillip said this was your first time.

Uh... Um...

You'll be fine.

Let me grab a new patient file and we can get started.

"Psychotherapy."

You're her therapist.

You just said "her therapist."

Martha, is there someone else joining us today?

Um...

Is everything all right?

Martha doesn't want therapy.

Martha has to go.

[DOOR OPENS]

Okay, I told you something was up.

[ELLA AND BYRON ARGUING]

Can you hear them?

Look, whatever it is, it's not about us.

How do you know?

I just do.

Look, go get your stuff, we'll go to the library.

We'll study there, okay?

Yeah, but for how long?

Just get your stuff.

She lives in this town.

I have to see her, I have to talk to her.

I befriended this woman.

Ella, trust me. It is over.

Trust you?

She means nothing to me.

And I'm not gonna let her take what matters.

And what is it that matters to you? Because clearly it is not us.

Okay. You want me to find another job teaching at a different college, huh?

Do you wanna pick up and move again? I will, I'll do that.

Is that what Iceland was all about?

Yeah. In a way, it was.

I wanted things to be the way they used to be with us.

And how was that? Me looking like a complete and total idiot?

Because look at this. Look at this stupidly happy woman...

...standing next to her loving husband.

What am I supposed to do with all these photos...

...of our romantic trip abroad?

Stop that. Stop it.

What happened with her was a mistake.

Ella: What I know...

...is that you used our daughter to hide this from me.

How could you do that to her?

I don't even know who you are.

I panicked. I thought I didn't have another choice.

I was scared. I was afraid I would lose you.

You just might.

[SIGHS]

Mission accomplished.

You have a question?

No.

We'll meet you in the lobby, okay?

Hey.

Hey.

Did we waste your real game yesterday?

What?

No, I was just off.

No, you werert. Not when the match started.

Look, it's a long story. It was important for our guests to win.

And so the only way for you to do that was for you to lose?

What's up with that? Did your dad ask you to do that or...?

Look, he's not always like this.

Whatever you say. I just...

I see a lot of it here.

A lot of what?

People playing games.

Just off the court, you know?

Yeah.

Hey.

Is there any chance you'd wanna hang out sometime?

Like, not here?

Yeah.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Hanna?

Do you want these?

I wore them once. They gave me a nosebleed.

They're a little too dressy for a dental office.

You've got some events coming up. What are you wearing to homecoming?

Mom, I don't know if I'm going to homecoming.

Of course you're going. If you're breathing, you're going.

What's up?

You still haven't heard from Sean?

He said we'd talk but it hasn't happened.

So I'm just giving him space.

Don't give him too much. I tried that with your father.

He found a woman in Maryland...

...who graduated with honors from William and Mary and loves to golf.

How do you know that?

I Googled her.

I'm so sorry, Mom.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm the last person who should be giving anyone relationship advice.

I had too much pride to tell your father that I wanted him back.

And now...

...you can wear these to his wedding.

On the links.

Tell me you have a deep pan and tell me I left my phone here.

You did.

Ezra...

...what's wrong?

I was trying to work, and it kept buzzing.

I thought it was an emergency, your parents, so I looked at it.

Just take it.

Who's A?

I don't know.

How many did you tell?

I didn't.

If A knows, B and C and everybody else does too.

The person who sent this is not my friend.

You told me you were mature enough to handle this.

Do you know what would happen if the board...?

I didn't tell anyone. Believe me.

Well, I don't.

Just go.

Go.

Now.

Hi there.

Still looking for that trash chute?

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

No, I left something at my desk this morning.

Excuse me. Yeah.

How much does he want?

For two tickets?

I didn't pay that much to see Lionel Richie when he was Lionel Richie.

Hanna?

Hi.

Are you working today?

Um... Uh... I did, yeah. What are you doing here?

My mom left some insurance papers on the desk.

They won't release my car until l...

You're getting it back?

Yeah. On Monday.

So you won't need anyone to drive you around anymore.

You know, someone else.

Well, that's sort of the plan.

Great.

Well, I'll see you later.

Right. See you.

Are we over?

What?

Look, I'd rather you just tell me now before it's too late.

What's too late? What are you talking about?

If you wanna take someone else, Sean, you should.

Why would I do that? It's not like I'd actually go with anyone else.

What are you doing with that skinny latte who drives you around?

Amber? No, she just drives me to school for our meetings.

This club I joined. RLW.

Stands for "Real Love Waits."

Go ahead. Make a joke.

Is it some kind of holy roller virgin society?

Look, I just thought...

...hanging out with other people who feel the same way as I do...

...will make it easier to hold out, you know?

No. I get it.

Could I go with you to the next meeting?

Why? You wanna join?

Well, we already tried doing it my way.

So let's try not doing it your way.

Excuse me.

Don't tell me that's how you wanna celebrate? With a pear?

Put that away. You deserve a three-course meal tonight.

Think I'll pass.

Pass? Honey, you're the guest of honor.

You won a national award and helped me sign Newhoff.

Which almost didn't happen.

Why? Didrt I hit the net enough?

No, no. You were perfect.

But things almost fell apart while you were in the locker room.

What happened?

Oh, well, he expected lunch at the club.

And I didn't make a reservation, so no tables.

We sat at your favorite table.

After I made a scene.

I had to tell the manager that the kid on the courts forgot to call it in.

Who, Alex? Wait, will he be in trouble over this?

Who cares? Kid can pick up balls anywhere, right?

We snagged a major client, Spence.

Why are you looking at me like that? Just did what I had to do.

To win.

Don't give me that attitude.

You're just as driven and competitive as I am.

Don't pretend you're not.

You know what? You're right. I am.

I'm just not sure it's a thing that I wanna celebrate anymore.

You know, and by the way, you don't have to read my essay.

Why not?

Because I stole it.

But I'm gonna win a big award so I'm guessing you're okay with that.

You know, because winning's all that matters, right?

Hey.

I was hoping you'd be here.

Why?

I really liked tracks three, seven and nine. Nine was the best.

And I'm sorry about last night.

Really sorry.

What's that?

Something I made for you.

There are a couple girly songs so you have to keep an open mind.

Can I get a coffee, please?

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey.

Hey.

You ready?

Yeah.

Cool.

Let's go.

Okay.

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

What is this?

Dinner.

Is Mom still in her room?

Yeah.

And Dad?

Do you think they're gonna work this out?

I really don't know.
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