05x05 - Self Help

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Walking Dead". Aired: October 2010 to present.*

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The Walking Dead follows a group of survivors, led by police officer Rick Grimes, who travel in search of a safe and secure home in a world overrun by zombies.
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05x05 - Self Help

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on AMC's The Walking Dead...

I was part of a 10-person team at the Human Genome Project, I believe we can take out every last dead one of them.

Fire with fire.

We found a short bus out back.

Now that we can take a breath...

We take a breath, we slow down...

We all need to leave to DC, right now.

We saved you.

Well, I am trying to save yours. Save everyone's.

Stay and help us. And we will go with you.

♪ May the work I've done ♪
♪ Speak for me ♪
♪ May the work I've done... ♪


It's getting a little messy for you.

♪ Speak for me... ♪

Gettin' ady for retirement.

Relaxin' the grooming standards.

Thinkin' about becomin' a plumber, a sheepherder, or something.

You ain't herdin' sheep now, Abraham.

Eyes on the prize.

Damn right.

That's my girl.

Maybe I'll let you shave me down all over, dolphin-smooth.

(laughs) I'll cut it for you tonight.

Yes, ma'am.

Hey, maybe Rosita can give you a trim while she's at it.

Party's getting a little long in the back.

Or is it your source of power?

I ain't slayin' a lion anytime soon.

I wouldn't be placing any wagers on seein' me dispatch a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of an ass.

Tara: Oh, so you'll just settle on saving the world, right?

Yeah.

What's up?

Last night?

Nope.

Yes, that and tomorrow.

And I'm thinking about that preacher, what he did.

♪ May the service I give ♪
♪ Speak for me... ♪


Maybe they're just behind us.

Maybe Daryl and Carol came back.

Maybe they took the map, found some cars, and they're just down the road.

They'll catch up.

We're clearing the way for 'em.

Maggie: How long will it be?

After you get on that terminal and do what you have to do?

Depends on a number of factors including density of the infected around target sites worldwide.

Wait, target sites?

Are you talking about missiles?

That's classified.

Glenn: I thought we were over that.

What if we all live?

The secrets will matter then?

They might.

Anyway, the speed with which things normalize depend on a number of factors including worldwide weather patterns, which were modeled without the assumption that cars, planes, boats, and trains wouldn't be pouring hydrocarbons into the atmosphere this long.

Changed the game quite a bit when it comes to air-transmissible pathogens.

Why the hair?

Because I like it.

And no one is takin' scissor or clipper to it anytime soon. Do you hear me, Miss Espinoza?

Yes, loud and clear.

(group chuckles)

Eugene: Y'all can laugh all you want.

Maggie: No one was makin' fun.

The smartest man I ever met happened to love my hair.

My old boss, T. Brooks Ellis, the director of the Human Genome Project.

He said my hair made me look like, and I quote, "a fun guy," which I am.

I just ain't Samson.

(loud bang)

(brakes screeching)

Abraham: Bitchnuts!

(loud bang)

♪ May the service I give ♪
♪ Speak for me ♪
♪ You remember this ♪
♪ The work I've done... ♪


(snarling)

(theme music playing)

(faint gurgling)

(faint gurgling)

(gasping, gurgling)

(assailant panting)

(gurgling)

(squishes)

Ellen...

Ellen!

(walkers snarling)

(music continues playing on radio)


Eugene!

Eugene!

Eugene, are you okay?

The preacher... didn't see another way out.

You hold on, okay?

Everyone else, you all right?

Glenn: Yeah.

Tara: Yes.

Rosita: The engine's on fire. We gotta get out of here.

All right, you and I go first, knock 'em back, clear the way for Maggie and Rosita to get out, then we all start hitting them, okay?

Yeah, all right. We'll do it live.

(walkers snarling)

Tara?

Yeah?

You cover Eugene, come out when it's clear.

Okay.

On my go!

Go!

(walker snarling)

Come on. I know it sucks and it's scary, but it's time to be brave.

It isn't voluntary.

It is, when you're screwed either way.

So you cut through the choice that might help somebody.

Come on.

I'm right behind you.

(snarling continues)

(walker snarling)


Whew.

Check Eugene, see if he's hurt.

I'm fine. Just cuts and dings is all.

Check him!

Maggie: Is that your blood?

Yeah.

Damn thing opened again.

I swear, the cuts are finer than frog's hair.

They're just big bleeders.

Maggie: First aid kit's in the bus.

I'll see what we have.

(rumbling)

(mutters)

We're not stopping. We're rolling on.

We'll find another vehicle down the road.

The mission hasn't changed.

Devil's advocate, nothing more-- we smashed to a stop hard.

We spent a lot of time rolling things out of the road.

The church is just 15 miles back that way--

No.

We don't stop. We don't go back.

We're at w*r, and retreat means we lose.

The road fights back, the plan gets jacked.

You all know that.

Now, we will get through this because we have to.

Every direction is a question.

We don't go back!

Hey, hey, hey. You okay?

I am fit as a damn fiddle.

We are going with you.

You are calling this thing.

I just need to know you're good.

This is how things stop.

I can't afford that right now. The world can't afford it.

Listen, I took a pretty hard sh*t to the sack with that crash.

I am stressed and depressed to see that ride die, but if you say we're rolling on, I'm good.

We're rolling on.

I'm gonna rub some dirt on it and walk it off.

Yeah.

Rosita: We'll find what we need like we always have-- on the way.

Okay.

I'm not rubbing dirt on anything.

Maybe we can find some bis.

Bikes don't burn.

All right.

Right.

(bus blast rumbles)

Rosita: Eugene, what are you doing?

Nothing.

Rosita: Let's go.

Ellen!

Ell...?

Ellen?

(faint dripping)

Ellen.

(glass clattering)

(crickets chirping)


Let's go.

(door creaks)

(humming)

(humming continues)

(humming continues)

(crickets chirping)

(needle clatters)


I'm gonna take a sweep.

Okay.

(thumps)

Hey.

Hey.

Thank you.

(chuckles) For what?

For showing up.

It took a little horse trading to get you here, but it's plain as potatoes to me now.

You get it.

Coulda lit out after the crash, made a case, but you stayed.

I made a deal.

Yeah, you coulda broke it.

(sniffs) What was I gonna do?

You gonna put that thing away tonight?

How about that? You gonna wrap that up?

No, I'm gonna let it get some air.

Got cut up pretty ugly last night back at the church.

Yeah.

Gotten to the point where everyone alive is strong now.

We have to be.

You're either strong and they can help you so you help them or you're strong and they can k*ll ya.

So you gotta k*ll them.

You gotta k*ll them and...

(sighs)

I want to say it's never easy.

That's not the truth.

It's the easiest thing in the world now.

The world's gonna change, right?

You're damn right it's gonna.

You'd better turn in. You've got late watch.

Yeah.

I really need some ass first.

Didn't need to know that, but, cool.

(panting)

Abraham!

He's watching again.

Over there in the self-help section.

(both laugh)

Abraham: "Self-help."

(both laughing)

Abraham: Don't worry about him, baby.

He's harmless.

I'm already there.

Come on.

(Rosita moaning)

Dude.

Cards on the table, I was watching them.

Yeah, I saw that.

I believe they know I catch an eyeful on occasion, which isn't to say it's their thing. It's not mine either.

It's just that I enjoy the female form and I consider this a victimless crime that provides both comfort and distraction.

(moaning continues)

Maybe, uh-- maybe we can move on from here.

I was looking for you to say thank you for having my back at the bus.

You saved my life.

Don't know about that.

You did.

Well, if I did, then you provided the context for me doing so.

What?

I was screwed either way, so I went with the choice that helped someone.

I thought it trite, but it turned out to be true.

Point to you.

You have this.

Even if you didn't before, you do.

Look, I'm-- I'm the same way.

You know you can do this.

Uh, did you hear what I just said?

The bus crashed 'cause of me.

No, it didn't.

Yes, it did.

I put crushed glass in the fuel line.

Light bulbs I found in the church.

The vehicle should've failed before it ever got to the road.

You would've k*lled us.

It wasn't supposed to go down like that, not hardly, not half.

The glass wasn't supposed to wear out the fuel line next to the spark plugs.

We fully pulled the short straw on that one.

What the hell? Why did you do that?

Eugene, why did-- Eugene?

Why did you do that?

Um...

Answer me.

I appreciate the positive affirmations and looking the other way on the perversion, but I know empirically and definitively I cannot survive on my own.

I cannot.

So you k*lled the bus?

If I don't cure the disease, if I don't save the world, I have no value.

That's not how it works.

If I don't fix things, there's no way you people would keep me around, share resources, even protect me.

Of course we would. We're friends. We have each other's backs. That's it. That's how it works.

Don't tell anyone else what you did. I'll keep your secret and we'll keep going.

You know you messed up.

You're trying, but, dude, you can't do something like that again.

I won't.

You're stuck with us. Just like we're stuck with you, no matter what.

I don't know why I told you.

I do.

(soft laugh)

Welcome to the human race, assh*le.

Come on. It's getting late.
(moaning continues)

(panting, moaning increases)


(sighs) Whew.

You thinkin' about them?

Yeah.

I feel guilty.

Hey.

Hey, we get to have... little vacations on bookstore floors.

We're not back there anymore.

We're living for something else.

And they don't get to right now.

Well, we did almost die today.

And we don't have a car.

And we're drinking toilet water.

It just feels really good having this... because it's not about what was.

Not last night.

It's all about what's gonna be.

Don't feel guilty about that.

Ellen.

We're safe now.

I stopped 'em.

You don't have to be scared now.

Hey--

It's okay.

(humming)

It's not infected.

You been going to nursing school on the sly?

Roger and Pam taught me.

Mm.

I think we should stay here today.

No.

You got some reading you need to catch up on?

We got lucky yesterday.

But we're all banged up, you especially.

We've been through worse.

We keep moving.

Maybe we always wind up stopping because we never start at 100%.

Every minute we waste getting him to Washington, people are dying.

You think I don't understand that?

After everything?

You see, I want us to actually get there.

No, you want us to sit around.

You want us to stop.

(scoffs)

Maggie: This town isn't in bad shape.

This store wasn't even touched.

We could make a good base here.

We could spend one last day doing a sweep for supplies.

We'll sweep as we go.

We've done it since Houston. We're not stopping now.

You heard the lady.

We're taking it north.

Tara: We tapped out the toilet.

Broad River is five miles west.

At the very least, we stock up there before we find wheels.

We got a vehicle.

And it just so happens...

it's got 500 gallons of water on it.

(humming)

(grunts)

(humming continues)

(engine whirring)

(engine starts)


(laughs)

About time things started going our way!

(engine knocks, stops)

Come on.

Just once.

One damn time.

We'll find another ride.

If there was a ride worth a sh*t in this town, we'd have seen it.

This thing's done some crowd clearing.

Right up into the intake.

Which means we've got an air filter filled with damn human remains.

And there is no damned corner on this damned Earth that has not been dicked hard beyond all damned recognition.

Abraham?

What?

That feeds the radiator. The intake for the engine is actually on the roof.

(tire thumps)

(snarling)

Tara, Maggie!

One damn time!

One damn time!

Rosita: Abraham, just wait!

(snarling continues)

There's more from the back!

(growling)

(faint growling)

I been to eight county fairs and one goat rodeo.

I never seen anything like that.

There was a Goodwill over there by the bookstore.

It's pretty blown up, but there might be some supplies, some dry clothes, maybe?

Not necessary.

I can clear that intake in two shakes.

Then the engine will get some wind and so will we.

You'll air-dry.

We roll on.

(laughing)

What?

This sh*t is screwed up!

(laughing)

(water dripping)

(gasps)

Ellen?

AJ?

Becca?!

(yells) Ellen!

Ellen!

(humming)

(clanking)

Come on.

(humming continues)

(clanking continues)


I know why you have the haircut.

I told you, it's 'cause I like it.

I believe that. I like it, too.

I think you like it for a reason.

You're not the person people think you are.

You want 'em to know who you are.

Not following you.

If you didn't have that mullet, you'd probably be like everybody else in the labs.

But you're not like everybody else.

I think a lot of people in your position probably woulda given up, but you didn't.

There were people-- a lot of them along the way-- they made sure I didn't give up.

It wasn't me remotely.

It was.

You started this thing.

And you're not like Samson. He was kind of a mess.

Not following you.

Well, his story goes... that one day when a lion att*cked him, God gave him strength and he tore it apart.

Then he goes back one day, he's by himself, and he sees that bees have made a hive in the carcass.

So later he tells this riddle to people.

"Out of the eater, something to eat.

Out of the strong, something sweet."

And I always thought, "How the hell are people supposed to know the answer when it's just about his own life?

When the only place the answer is is in his own head?"

Glenn: Whoa, what the hell is that?

What?

Wind's picking up. You're about to smell it.

(all groan)

Maggie: What is that?

Whatever's making that stench, it ain't nothin' nice.

We're not stoppin'.

Uh, we're stopped.

(locusts chirping)

(wind rustling)


(coughs)

Let's go.

Yeah.

Abraham: I will not lie down.

Abraham.

(softly) I will not abase.

Abraham, let's get out of here.

I will not give up the ship.

(normal volume) Hold up.

Maggie: We gotta go.

No.

No, we don't.

They can't hear us and they can't see us.

Not from here.

We're fine.

Tara: Yeah, this is the definition of fine."

Glenn: We need the map. There's gotta be a detour.

I'm not doing it.

We detoured and detoured and detoured from Houston to Georgia.

I'm not playing that game anymore.

We are not going through this, okay?

It isn't gonna happen.

You got a shitstorm behind door A and a storm of sh*t behind door B.

If you're lucky, it's walkers or a sh*t-up truck.

But sooner or later you get cornered.

You wind up stayin' and you wind up killin'.

We don't go back. We can't go back.

I'm not talking about going back.

Just south a few miles.

No.

Eugene: We already hit a full stop 'cause of an air filter compromised by innards.

That will happen again.

Then we'll hit 'em with the hose.

Rosita: The t*nk is empty, Abraham.

If we floor it--

We still hit them, they still slow us down, and then they stop us.

I'm not saying we just go straight.

That's the way the road goes.

Abraham!

We can get through!

I know it!

And that means we are not going south, going around, or going back!

Rosita: No.

They're right.

Rosita: Hey, Abraham.

Glenn: Hey! Hey!

What are you doing? Stop.

Glenn: Let go of him.

Rosita: I'm not gonna let you do this.

Yes, you are.

Hey, hey, stop.

Get out.

Hey, you are done! You're done!

Do not! Do not!

Stop!

I told you, you do not touch me! You do not touch me!

Abraham!

(all shouting)

Rosita: Abraham!

I'm not a scientist!

I'm not a scientist!

I lied. I'm not a scientist.

I don't know how to stop it.

I'm not a scientist.

You are a scientist. I've seen the things that you can do.

I just know things.

You just... "know things"?

I know I'm smarter than most people, I know I'm a very good liar, and I know I needed to get to DC.

Why?

Because I do believe that locale holds the strongest possibility for survival, and I wanted to survive.

If I could cheat some people into taking me there, well, I just reasoned that I'd be doin' them a solid, too, considering the perilous state of the city of Houston, the state of everything.

People d*ed trying to get you here.

I'm aware of that--

Stephanie, Warren, Pam, Rex, Roger, Josiah, Dirk, and Josephine.

And Bob.

You see, I lost my nerve as we grew closer, (voice breaks) for I am a coward... and the reality of getting to our destination and disclosing e truth of the matter became some truly frightening sh*t.

I took it upon myself to slow our roll.

Find time to finesse things so then when we got there...

But at this moment, I fully realize there are no longer any agreeable options.

I was screwed either way.

I also lied about T. Brooks Ellis liking my hair.

I do not know T. Brooks Ellis.

But I did read one of his books, and he seemed like the type of guy that wouldn't blink twice at a Tennessee Top Hat.

Again...

I am smarter than you.

Now, you may want to leave me here--

(g*n clatters)

(grunts)

Hey! Hey!

Hey, come on!

Get off of him!

(roars)

Maggie: Oh, my God.

Glenn: No.

Maggie: Eugene?

Get up. Look at me.

Oh, my God. Oh, God. Eugene, are you there?

Eugene! Eugene! Eugene! Eugene...? Come on!

Abraham: Ellen.

(dog tags rattle)

(tags clatter)

Eugene: Help me! (snarling, growling) Help! Help me! (whimpers) Help me, please!

It's them. Get 'em! (growling) Get them. Get 'em.

Thank you. Thank you.

I think-- I think they're gettin' faster.

Wait! Wait up! Stop! You can't leave!

Why?

I have a very important mission.
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