06x04 - Here's Not Here

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: Previously on AMC's The Walking Dead

Morgan: I was suppose to k*ll my wife.

Morgan [sobbing]: But I couldn't do it.

Morgan: And then she was just on him.

(screaming)

Rick: Do you think he's crazy?

Michonne: No, I think he's dangerous.

(growling)

Why?

Because all life is precious.

(crashing)

Spencer [exhausted]: Some group got inside the walls.

Spencer [exhausted]: They're k*lling people.

(grunting)

Morgan: Carol!

You don't have to k*ll.

Carol: Of course we do.

I'm not very good with g*ns.

Me neither.

You said you liked talking.

I remember that.

"Little chats with a stranger by the fire."

You said it was like the movies.

Then you said that you want everything that I have.

Every last bit.

Well, here it is.

Every last bit.

Morgan: You don't clear.

You don't.

No.

No, no.

You don't.

You don't.

It doesn't matter how many days... or how much time.

We weren't supposed to be there.

You had the Kn*fe.

You had the g*n!

You were supposed to.

You were supposed to.

You know you were supposed to.

Don't lie.

You know.

You know that you were supposed to!

(theme music playing)

(insects, birds chirping)

(walker snarling)

(grunting)

(walker snarling)

(grunts)

(snarling)

(snarling)

(snarling)

I'm s-- I'm sorry. (choking)

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No! I'm sorry.

(gasping)

You don't. You don't.

You don't! You know you don't!

(gurgling)

(gurgling stops)

(snarling)

(murmuring) You're still the same.

You're-- you're still doing it.

You know what it is.

You know what it is.

(grunting)

(distant goat bleating)

(bleating continues)

(bleating continues)

Man: Can you step away from the goat?

She's not yours. I still need her.

I'm still figuring out how to make cheese.

Why don't you put the g*n down and we'll talk?

Have some falafel?

Looks like you haven't eaten for a while.

Really, put down the r*fle, let's talk.

I'm sure we can work this out.

Okay, last chance.

Lower your g*n, step away from the cabin.

(door rattles)

(grunts)

Sorry.

(sawing)

(door opens)

What's your name?

k*ll me.

Well, that's a stupid name.

It's dangerous.

You should change it.

k*ll me.

k*ll me!

(hammering)

k*ll me!

k*ll me! k*ll me!

(sighs)

k*ll me.

My name's Eastman.

(distant cans rattling)

(goat bleating)

(door opens)

Eastman: It's okay, Tabitha.

Eastman: Aw, sh*t.

(walker snarling)

(hammering)

It's yours.

Take it.

It's yours or his.

So you take it.

16 hours in 19 on the floor.

You know what it is.

(bleats)

You sh*t at me. I fed you.

Please don't hurt her.

Good night.

(goat bleats)

Shh. Shh.

(door closes)

(lock clicks)

(snarls)

(squelches)

16 hours in 19 on the floor.

Oh!

Oh, that is-- oh, that's terrible!

That-- oh, God, that is-- that is terrible.

(gags)

I just wanted to wait a little while before we talked.

I'm from Atlanta.

I'm a forensic psychiatrist.

The state employed me to determine if certain people who did very bad things would do them again if they were released from prison.

That was my job. Now I live here.

Because of the state of the state and the whole world.

What did you do or what do you do now?

I clear.

What the hell does that mean?

Walkers, people, anything that gets anywhere near me, I k*ll 'em.

I clear.

Why?

Because that's why I'm still here.

Well... that's the biggest load of horseshit I ever heard.

Here's your lunch.

(tab snaps)

(goat bleats)

It's PTSD.

You've been through trauma, right?

You see that blood on the end of my stick?

At the sharp end?

That was two men.

Father and son, maybe.

I stabbed one through the throat.

He just fell to the ground with it stuck in him trying to breathe through the blood.

Other one I strangled. No rope, just my hands.

That was the day before I came here.

Maybe-- maybe the same day.

I-- I don't know.

But that's what I did.

That's what I do.

You k*lled a lot of people?

Yes.

They were threatening you, attacking you?

Not all of them.

You save anyone?

You saved people.

Pointless acts.

Everybody turns.

I saw a wedding ring.

You had someone you loved, didn't you?

Children?

Oh.

You loved them.

You loved them a lot if you're like this.

You saw it happen.

That's how this started, right?

It's all happening right in front of your eyes over and over.

Your body's here, but your mind is still there.

There's a door and you want to go through it to get away from it, so you do and it leads you right back to that moment.

And you see that door again and you know it won't work, but, hell, maybe it'll work.

So you step through that door and you're right back in that horrible moment every time.

You still feel it every time.

So you just want to stop opening that door.

So you just sit in it.

But I assure you, one of those doors leads out, my friend.

I don't have any friends.

Get to know me.

Oh, I'm gonna k*ll you.

Why?

Because I have to clear.

See, that's the thing. You don't.

(scoffs) We're not built to k*ll.

We don't have claws or fangs or armor.

Vets that came back with PTSD, that didn't happen because we're comfortable with k*lling.

We're not. We can't be.

We feel. We're connected.

You know, I've interviewed over 825 people who've done terrible things.

I've only met one evil person.

Some of them were born with bad brains.

Some of them got sick along the way.

The rest were just damaged people.

Traumatized themselves like you, but they could heal.

Some more, some less, but they can.

We all can.

I know it.

It's all a circle and everything gets a return.

The door is open.

That door right there. The cell door, it's open.

I threw the key in the river a while back.

I'm not gonna hold you anymore.

I can't stop you. Go, clear.

Or stay, crash on the couch, and we'll try to find you another way.

The door's open.

It's been open all along.

You stay or you go.

Those are the choices.

I will not allow you to k*ll me.

I will not allow that.

Eastman: Don't!

Stop.

(growling)

(groans)

Stop.

(Morgan growling)

I gave you two choices.

Oh, sh*t.

(groans)

(grunting)

(choking)

(gasping)

k*ll me.

I gave you two choices.

The door or the couch.

(hammering)

That was aikido.

That's how I kicked your ass earlier.

Well, that's how I redirected your ass.

The people in prison I evaluated for the state, the stories I heard, the things these people did.

One night, my five-year-old daughter found me crying in the garage after about eight beers.

Told her I wasn't feeling too good.

She gave me this.

She had won it at a carnival at school that day.

She said it'd make me lucky and I'd feel better.

The next morning I found a flyer for aikido.

Damn thing worked.

Your wife and your daughter... they're dead.

It was aikido.

It'll help.

And you obviously need help if we're gonna make this trip.

Can't just be me and you to the end.

You're a sh*t conversationalist.

And I can't make this trip by myself.

A trip where?

I have no idea.

Good night.

(door closes)

(lock clicks)

(birds chirping)

Grassy notes are a little too Astroturf, but there's potential here.

There is always potential.

Where there's life, there's potential.

I've been a vegetarian for a while now.

I was afraid that damn goat was gonna make me a vegan.

I don't k*ll, but I'm not giving up on chocolate any time soon.

You might notice I'm not giving up on the Goo Goo Clusters.

They're gonna remain on the menu.

You should try one. They're good.

Come on, you're alive. Live a little.

We should go out.

We got a lot here, but we should scavenge some things up for the trip.

You coming?

Will you watch Tabitha while I'm gone?

Can you do that for me?

(sighs)

(door opens)

(goat bleats)

(door closes)

(distant cans rattling)

(walkers snarling)

(goat bleating)

(goat screaming)

(walkers snarling)

(walkers snarling)

(goat screaming)

(breathing echoes)

(goat bleating)

(roaring)

(grunts)

(wings flutter)

(birds cawing, chirping)

Well, you maimed a tomato plant, but it looks to me like you saved a goat today, my friend.

Hey.

Thank you.

Progress.

Just a second.

(sighs) A and B.

A-- you broke the garden fence, laid waste to a perfectly good tomato plant.

You got to fix it.

B-- follow me.

Fixed your spear.

Eastman: It's about redirecting.

Morgan: Evading.

(grunting)

Eastman: And actually caring about the welfare of your opponent.

Morgan: So you have to care about yourself.

Eastman: You have to believe your life is precious, that all life is precious.

Morgan: You have to redirect those thoughts, the history that tells you otherwise.

Eastman: What we've done, we've done.

Morgan: We evade it by moving forward with a code to never to do it again.

Eastman: To make up for it.

Morgan: To still accept what we were.

Hey.

Eastman: To accept everyone.

Morgan: To protect everyone.

Eastman: And in doing that, protect yourself.

Morgan: To create peace.

Why do you have a cell in your cabin?

Built this place with my wife a while before our daughter was born.

It didn't have a cell back then.

That was just the other side of the living room.

In my job I interviewed over 800 men and 25 women convicted of awful things.

Stuff from the darkest part of the human soul.

I was evaluating a man by the name of Crighton Dallas Wilton.

(chuckles)

Name like that, sounded like he should own an oil company and wear a big hat-- Crighton Dallas Wilton.

Despite doing some truly unspeakable acts, he was up for parole.

And he was one of the most damn likable people I had ever met.

He said all the right things, he went to therapy.

He wrote letters to the prison board to start a program to grow flowers for the waiting rooms in state hospitals, rest homes.

And I saw right through him.

Saw that he was a true psychopath, that he knew how to play people, exactly how to play people.

I was interviewing him next to the cafeteria.

The place smelled of industrial pizza.

They were polishing the floor.

I had to shout my questions half the time.

And there was this moment.

Can't even remember the exchange.

But right then I knew that Crighton knew that I knew exactly what he was.

Everything he had said, done to hide away what he was from everyone, from himself, just slipped away, and... and that model prisoner of 10 years stood up, smiled, and just cracked me across the face.

His fist felt like a rock.

Then he was on top of me and the floor polisher next door was thudding out every sound.

And I-- and I saw his face, his-- his eyes, his evil.

Mask had slipped.

And he was gonna k*ll me right then and there because he knew I would make sure he would never get out again.

Arm bar counter for being choked from a pinned position.

Aikido.

I wasn't taking it for self-defense, but it saved my life.

And I got to make sure he never got out again.

Well, got to try.

He got out.

Talked to the right people who got him the right things and he broke out, but it wasn't to escape.

Crighton Dallas Wilton went to my home and k*lled my wife, my daughter, and my son.

He walked down the street to the police station around the corner covered in their blood.

He surrendered.

Said the only reason he broke out was to destroy my life.

A year passed... and he was still working those plots.

They just let him work those plots by the roads out by 85, grow chrysanthemums, forget-me-nots.

I built that cell with the full intention of bringing Crighton Dallas Wilton here, putting him behind those bars and watching him starve to death.

And did you?

I have come to believe that all life is precious.

Even for a man like that?

Who did that to you?

To your family?

I have come to believe that all life is precious.

That's why we're having oatmeal burgers.

You're good at it.

Redirecting.

We need more gear.

Tarp, crowbar.

I'm thinking we could try for the islands off the coast.

I think people could have gone there.

Hell, at the very least, we could see the beach.

What is it?

I know where we can find all that.

Who did you lose?

My wife and son.

Who you lost.

Their names.

Jenny and Duane.

I'm sorry.

Don't ever be sorry.

Forms, right now.

Not here.

Right now.

(grunts)

(breathing heavily)

(grunts)

You're gonna hold a baby again.

(grunts)

(walker snarling)

(snarling)

It's all yours.

Damn it, move!

Ow!

I said not here.

That wasn't for you to do.

How could you do that? That wasn't for you to do!

You can't just-- you can't just step in!

Tell me how it is.

Tell me how it is! Tell me!

Let's go home.

I'm not going anywhere.

You're coming back.

You are done with this.

You made it out.

You made it out.

Ow!

(roaring)

(grunting)

k*ll me.

k*ll me!

(grunts)

I said not here.

Well, that's the thing, Morgan.

Here's not here.

(panting)

(walker snarling)

(squelches)

(growls)

(whimpers) No.

Thank you.

(walker snarling)

(panting)

Oh, she got out.

(sighs) She figured out the door was open, too.

I didn't figure it out.

You had to tell me.

Glad you're back.

Here.

Come on, you sit down before you fall down.

Eastman: Well, like I said, they... let him work the plots beside 85.

Even after what he did.

They let him because he was so damn charming.

I found out the schedule, waited, made sure the right people were working.

I got him in my car quick and brought him back here.

If they'd have caught me, it'd have been fine.

It'd have been better.

But I got him here and they didn't know where to look.

(exhales)

You gotta sit down.

All right. (winces)

I'm okay.

(exhales)

I put him in that cell... and I let him starve to death.

It took 47 days.

And then I was gone.

I was where you were.

And I wasn't trying to open up the door anymore either.

What I did to him, it didn't give me any peace.

I found my peace when I decided to never k*ll again.

To never k*ll anything again.

When I decided to settle things, I went back to Atlanta to turn myself in.

That's how I found out the world ended.

But the world hasn't ended.

Progress.

My daughter drew this on the hallway wall of our house.

She thought I'd get mad.

I just put a frame around it.

After I went back, when I found out I couldn't turn myself in because there was no one to turn myself in to, I went back home to cut this from the wall.

I lost the car on the way back.

I walked through 30 miles of the dead for a piece of drywall.

(laughs)

Scariest thing I ever did.

Best thing I ever did.

(sighs)

You can stay here.

You have enough food, power, security.

For the rest of your life, you could stay here.

But you shouldn't stay here.

Can't expect such a splendid guest as yourself to show up.

You stay here, you'll be alone.

You were alone.

Everything is about people.

Everything in this life that's worth a damn.

It couldn't be just me. It shouldn't be just you.

Hell, Tabitha's gone now.

(sighs) I'm ready.

I have a g*n in the lockbox out there.

Here.

(labored breathing)

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hope it's lucky for you, too, whatever you decide.

I've decided.

And that's it.

Every last bit.

You think it can work out that way with me?

Yes.

I think it can.

(chuckles)

Maybe.

You noticed I'm shaking a little?

Sweating a little?

Oh, man.

(sighs)

I saw how settled this place was in the pictures I found.

I thought maybe there'd be something here.

Medicine to help this.

But that was before you people won.

So I know I'm probably going to die.

But if I don't...

I am going to have to k*ll you, Morgan.

I'm going to have to k*ll every person here.

Every one of them. The children, too.

Just like your friend Eastman's children.

Those are the rules.

That's my code.

I'd say I'm sorry, but you said it, right?

Don't ever be sorry.

(keys jingle)

(lock clicks)

Rick: Open the gate!

Open the gate!

(theme music playing)