07x11 - Hostiles and Calamities

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Walking Dead". Aired: October 2010 to present.*

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The Walking Dead follows a group of survivors, led by police officer Rick Grimes, who travel in search of a safe and secure home in a world overrun by zombies.
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07x11 - Hostiles and Calamities

Post by bunniefuu »

[Insects chirping]

[Vehicles approaching]

[Panting]

[Walkers growling in distance]

[Panting]

[Crying]

Please.
Please don't.

Please, God, no.

I hate this.
Please!

♪♪

[Door opens, creaks]

♪♪

[Door creaks]

♪♪

♪♪

Welcome home, haircut.

There's more at the library.

A lot more.

[Sniffles]

You, uh...

You have a library?

Your friend Daryl didn't get a chance to see it before he bounced.

He escaped?

Yeah.

You know where he is?

No. I'd tell you if I did.

[Sniffles]

Vonda N. Mclntyre.

Th-This will be satisfactory.

[Sniffles]

You hungry?

I'll get you something. What do you want?

What do I want?

Yeah, to eat. What do you want?

Anything?

Sure. Whatever.

Really? Anything I want?

Dude, yes.

You can have anything. What do you want?

- Can I have lobster?
- No, you can't have lobster.

What the hell do you think this is?

Do you have canned pasta and tomato sauce?

You want orange-y or red?

Orange-y.

All right.

What about pickles?
I-I like pickles.

We're out of pickles.

What about potato chips?

We got chips.

Number makes them.

Number is a coding system for persons here?

For the workers, yeah.

They make said chips fresh?

Yeah, they got a kettle...

No, thanks.

Okay.
I'll be back in .

Enjoy your new place.

[Door creaks]

[Birds chirping in distance]

[Inhales deeply]

[Shuddered breathing]

♪ We're on Easy Street ♪
♪ And it feels so sweet ♪
♪ 'Cause the world is but a treat ♪
♪ When you're on Easy Street ♪
♪ And we're breaking out the good champagne ♪
♪ I'm sittin' pretty... ♪

[Knock on door to the tune of "Shave and a Haircut"]

♪♪

[Men grunting, fists thudding]

[Pounding on door]

Negan: Good mornin', sunshine.

Is it just as cozy as you remember?

You spent a lot of time on the wrong side of the door after that stupid road trip with the wife and Tina.

So let's talk about now.

We went out looking for your little failed projectfor a few hours, just around the perimeter... tip to taint, as it were... right about the time I had you thrown in here, and when I got back, I realized I... was short... a wife.

Which one?

Sherry.

♪♪

You know anything about that, Dwighty boy?

'Cause I got to tell you, that is one hell of a coincidence, her leaving just a few short hours after Daryl took off.

Oh, and he didn't force his way out.

No.

Somebody opened the door for him.

♪♪

It wasn't Sherry.

♪♪

Dwighty boy... was it you?

♪♪

Did it work the other way around?

You were supposed to break him.

Did he break you?

I mean, let's face it... you've got some pretty legitimate grievances.

You change your stripes on me, Dwighty?

You startin' to see things different?

♪♪

[Pounding on door]

♪♪

After all this... before and after... hell, after everything...

♪♪

...who are you, Dwight?

♪♪

I'm Negan.

♪♪

[Sighs]

[Lock clicks, door opens]

[Door creaks]

♪♪

♪♪

Daryl isn't like you.

He's... emotional.

So he's either on his way home, or he's coming back here to try to k*ll some more of us.

Mostly you and me.

Either way, we'll find him.

♪♪

So... do you think you know where Sherry went?

[Sighs]

Yeah.

Bring her back.

Sort it out.

♪♪

Stitch him up.

Fix what you can fix.

♪♪

You don't think she did it?

You think she did?

I got to know her a little bit.

Not well.

Well enough to know what happened.

She saw Daryl in here, in the state he was in.

She let him go.

She was soft.

She has a big heart.

You were just beaten and thrown in a cell... unfairly, if you ask me.

And you're back to it.

You may wind up running an outpost for him.

You get it.

I'd like to think that I do.

The type of selfless, tender soul who would marry Negan to save her husband's life?

That's exactly the kind of person who really isn't... expected to be around anymore.

♪♪

Thanks.

♪♪

Just trying to help.

[Motorcycle engine starts]

♪♪

[Engine revving]

Laura: Stuff people grow, stuff people make, stuff, you know, people scavenge.

Beer, bread, cut your head.

Eugene: Cut your what?

Barber.

Might be able to k*ll that thing on your head.

[Chatter]

We use a points system.

You're one of us now, not them.

They eat sh*t, we eat good.

Write what you took or what they did, how much it was worth, sign your name.

That's it.

Hey!

Must be your lucky day, haircut.

Are these homemade?

Man: Yeah.

That's some good DIY stuff there.

No... No, thank you.

You want something...

[Gasps]
...you take it, haircut.

[Walkers growling]

Negan: We'll send Simon over to take a peak, sort of good-cop this thing first, see how far we get.

There he is.

Man of the hour!

Come on over here, big fella.

Don't be rude, assh*le.

Say hello.

H-H-Hello.

You got a name, assh*le?

Eugene.

Now us.

Who are you?

All: I'm Negan.

Well, Eugene...

...I know you remember Lucille.

Now, you see this right here?

You might have to get real close.

That, my friend, is the b*llet you made.

Now, under normal circumstances, I'd be showing you that real close over and over again.

[Tongue clicks]

[Shuddered breathing]

But, Eugene, see, all I really want to know is if you are a smarty-pants.

You know things?

♪♪

Answer the question.

♪♪

I... I am, indeed, a smarty-pants.

I...taught myself to cast b*ll*ts.

I...found a... found a machine shop with the necessary...

I-I read a lot, and, um...

Although my...

Even though my memory is not considered eidetic, I don't skim and I don't scrimp.

If knowledge is dropped, I do, indeed, pick it up.

[Chuckles]

Oh, you really are just some assh*le.

[Chuckling]

♪♪

N-No. I'm not.

♪♪

I have PhDs in biochemistry, as well as immunology and microbiology, and I've completed my doctorate, which makes me a doctor.

Prior to the collapse, I was part of a -person team at the Human Genome Project, working under
Dr. T. Brooks Ellis to weaponize diseases to fight weaponized diseases.

Fire with, uh... you know... f-fire.

Well, see, interdepartmental drinks were...

[Walker growling]

♪♪

Uh-huh.

All right, Dr. Smarty-pants.

You ought to be able to cr*ck this without breaking a sweat.

You see, I have a lot of free labor here at the fence... living dead pricks that help keep the riffraff out.

Problem is, they don't keep.

They fall apart.

Like that poor sack of... pile of sh*t there.

So, Dr. Smarty-pants, how do we keep them on their feet?

Uh...

[Sighs]

You, um... smelt on the regs, correct?

I saw that among the legacy equipment on the floor that you possess an operational smelter.

And?

You already possess the means to resolve your issue.

Step one, melt down scrap metal.

Step two, pour it over the compromised walker as they are in contact with the chain link.

The liquid metal will harden... both maintaining bodily integrity for the walker as well as affixing them to the fence.

Bonus points for covering their head and protecting them from head trauma from hostiles and calamities.

God damn!

If that ain't the coolest thing I've ever heard in my life!

Not only is that practical, it is just bad-ass!

Whoa.

Look at you, Dr. Smarty-pants.

[Shuddered breathing]

Did Rick have you doing this kind of valuable stuff for him?

Oh.

His loss, our gain.

I feel like I need to give you some kind of signing bonus here.

Uh, w-well, I wa...
I was gifted these pickles.

[Chuckles]

Ahh.

No.

As a token of my gratitude, I'm gonna send you over a few of my wives to your apartment tonight, show you a good time.

Now, I don't think I have to worry about this.

But who knows how truly smart you are?

No sex.

That is a grave no-no.

However, you can have a little dinner, some drinks, share a few laughs.

There is nothing like beautiful women that smell good to make you feel human again.

I wouldn't know anything about that.

D-D-Did you say "wives," meaning plural?

Hell yes, I did.

What does Dr. Smarty-pants say to his new bestest friend in the whole wide world?

[Whistles]

What does he say?

Thank you.

Fully, completely... sincerely, seriously... thank you.

Okay.

Why don't you go have some fun?

Tanya: What the hell am I even looking at?

The insect-like creature is called a Yar.

It is attempting to exact revenge upon the evil Qotile for the destruction of Razak IV.

Maybe you should take it easy, Amber.

Maybe I shouldn't, Frankie.

Uh, we could play something else.

Warlords?

It's four-player and quite the hoot.

Whatever you want.

This is your night.

Do you want a massage?

Negan loves them.

And I was a licensed therapist.

You know, before.

Mm.

Mm.

While I appreciate the gesture and your commitment to your assigned objective, I am fully aware that none of you ladies are here this evening of your own volition.

Video games are all about me showing all of you a fun time.

Would you care for more microwave popcorn?

Hey, just because this was Negan's idea doesn't mean that we don't want to be here.

I'd be down with just having an intelligent conversation.

Well, I suppose a conversation would be acceptable under the current circumstance.

What would you like to talk about?

Uh, how about the Human Genome Project?

I could talk about that sh*t all night.

[Popcorn kernels rattling]

In truth... the bulk of my work for the HGP fell under the auspices of the Black Box Program, of which I am not at liberty to discuss.

In all likelihood, even if I could, it'd probably escape your comprehension.

Did he just insult us, Tanya?

It was not a dis.

It was simply a statement of fact.

My intelligence has been objectively measured.

I am fully a man apart.

So, what, are you, like, one of those guys who can make a b*mb out of bleach and a toothpick or something?

Of course not.

That would at least require dry yeast, hydrogen peroxide, and a small amount of liquid dish soap, maybe some, you know, bathroom or drain cleaner, some balloons or something like that, few other common household sundries.

Seriously?

Eugene: Serious as sepsis.

Seriously?

[Insects chirping]

So stupid.

I'm hoping to illustrate the opposite.

Just slaves?

Excuse me?

[Sighs] Whatever.

Dr. Eugene, did you just make helium out of toilet stuff?

Hydrogen.

Oh.

[Door opens]

It's cool, Keno.

We're good.

Hey. Relax.

You're one of us.

I should disclose in advance I may have oversold this one by classifying it as a b*mb.

As the hydrogen peroxide decomposes, the reaction will release energy in the form of heat.

Dr. Eugene, can you please just show us some good sh*t?

[Both laugh]

[Laughs]

I'm gonna light this candle.

- Cool!
- Finally.

[Both laugh]

No, I mean, I'm gonna light this candle.

[Both laugh]

[Lighter clicks]

[Chuckles]

Oh, no.

[Both laugh]

[Humming to the tune of " Overture"]

[Laughter]

[expl*si*n]

[Screams, laughter]

Yay!

Yeah!

[Both laugh]

Yeah!

[Chuckles]

Mm.

[Both laugh]

♪♪

Honey?

♪♪

♪♪

Sherry: D... we always said that if we got separated, I should come back here and wait for you.

You'd show up with beer and pretzels.

You remember that?

I know.

You probably don't.

♪♪

You always said that when we started dating, you forgot to tell me you had a shitty memory.

You used to get so frustrated by it... knowing you wouldn't remember those good days... those special days.

♪♪

I felt bad for you.

I remember you said there was so much you wanted to hold on to, and then it'd be gone.

But you're lucky you don't remember things, D.

♪♪

I wish I could wait for you now.

But I don't know if you'd come with me or if you'd take me back there or you'd k*ll me.

You didn't want to live in that world, and I made you.

♪♪

I did what I did because I didn't want you to die.

But now you've k*lled, and you've become everything you didn't want to be, and it's my fault.

You were better than me.

Most people are.

I let Daryl go because he reminded you of who you used to be.

♪♪

And I wanted to let you forget.

♪♪

I don't think I'm gonna make it out here, but you're wrong.

Being there isn't better than being dead.

It's worse.

I hope you realize that, and I hope you get away.

I hope you remember the good days, even just one of them, but...

I don't think you will.

I don't think you'll ever read this.

I loved who you were.

I'm sorry I made you into who you are.

Goodbye.

Honey.

♪♪

[Sighs]

[Knock on door]

Tanya: We can hear the Yars and the Qotile, Eugene.

I was given to understand that last night's shinny was supposed to be a singular incident.

He didn't send us.

We need your help.

You saw Amber last night.

She just drinks and cries.

She didn't want this.

Um, we signed up for it.

It's better for us.

She had to.

Her mom needed meds.

She can't work.

Amber thought... that she could live with it.

She can't.

She asked us to help her end it.

You aren't afforded any... mental-health services?

Tanya: No.

Are you serious?

I mean, there's a licensed masseuse here.

Uh, odds being what they are...

There's no one like that here.

So this... is it.

She just wants to take something.

She wants to go to sleep and not wake up.

That would be wildly irresponsible.

She dies at night, in her sleep, she turns while everyone is asleep...

We'll handle that part.

We were hoping that you could make something for her, 'cause we know that you can make things.

Look, I know that this is crazy and you barely know us... but we can tell that you are a good man.

[Scoffs]

There aren't many of those left.

[Inhales deeply]

Truth of the matter is, I'm not good.

I'm not lawful, neutral, or chaotic... none of the above.

Are you saying you can't do it?

Lack of ability is not the problem here.

I could jerry-rig a lethal toxin with the assets at hand here, no problemo.
I have the...

Then help us.

A pill, a sh*t, whatever.

We need two of them.

'Cause we don't know when we could get our chance.

Frankie: She's gonna do it, with or without us.

She'll suffer, and maybe someone else will get hurt.

You are good, Eugene.

You have to be.

How much does she weigh?

Don't know.
Maybe... .

Why?

If you could get me her exact weight, I could guarantee a semi-precise T.O. pain-free D.

A.S.A.P.

[Indistinct conversations]

Best I can do for now.

Come back later.

We're playing poker with some guys.

Try to hook you up.

You kidding?
Can't play poker.

I got to be out diggin' postholes at the cr*ck of dawn tomorrow.

I would like a single blister pack of your most extra-strength cold capsule.

Woman: Hey.

The line's a line!

What, they not have them where you come from?

You don't know how they work?

- No, I am familiar...
- Get in it, prick.

♪♪

What is your number?

♪♪

What's yours?

All right, number .

My name is Dr. Eugene Porter.

I've recently been appointed to the newly created post of Chief Engineer of this facility.

I report directly to Negan, which means you report directly to my ass.

♪♪

The cold capsules, now.

I didn't know.

We just... We get so many new faces, I didn't...

♪♪

I want this, too.

And this.

♪♪

I don't even know what you call this.

I'm gonna call it a Gremblygunk.

♪♪






[They Might Be Giants' "Everything Right Is Wrong Again" plays]

♪ Everything right is wrong again ♪
♪ Just like in the long, long trailer ♪
♪ All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving ♪
♪ And nobody would stop to save her ♪
♪ Wake me when it's over, touch my face ♪
♪ Tell me every word has been erased ♪
♪ Don't you want to know the reason ♪
♪ Why the cupboard's not appealing? ♪

Did you find her?

Where is she?

I k*lled her.

She ran away from me right into a mess of dead ones, so, I, uh... made it quick.

Mm.

It still hurts.

Feels better with a bandage.

I wasn't talking about that.

♪♪

I would tell you to just forget about her, but...

[Chuckles]

...I don't see anyone else doing that anytime soon, considering what she did.

♪♪

Oh, we've all done things.

Yes, but before we got here, before we understood... we were cowards about it.

♪♪

We don't... We don't get to have big hearts.

Remember that.

♪♪

Eugene: Wh-What is this?

You'll find out.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

You are gonna want to pay close attention to this.

♪♪

Ohh!

[Breathing heavily]
No, no, no, no!

Why? [Chokes]

I didn't do anything.

I found this little souvenir tucked away in your desk.

I-I-I don't know what that is.

[Sighs]

Unh!

[Coughs]

[Clears throat]

♪♪

[Sighs]

You... left the door open and let my puppy out.

Mnh-mnh.

♪♪

You knew Sherry hated Daryl being here, so you let him out for her, be the hero.

Then you could move in.

That... is some weasely sh*t right there.

But I didn't.
She's the one who ran...

Oh, she ran?

You know why she ran?!

Because she knew I would blame her, which... I did.

But, see, Sherry told Dwighty boy the whole story right before she was torn apart.

A super hot girl, horrifically k*lled because of your greedy, delusional, and tiny little prick.

It's not true.
Dwight?

♪♪

He's lying about it.
I would never do that.

Why? Why?
Why would he do that?

Why would he intentionally try to hurt you?

Sherry's gone.

And if he's lying... and she's out there, I will find her.

And then I will burn the other side of his face off until he dies.

So, what was he gonna get out of this?

♪♪

No.

No.

You see, I know my Dwighty boy.

See, all he needed... was one more night in the hole, get his head screwed on straight.

It worked before, and it worked now.

Ain't that right, Dwight?

Oh, yeah.

♪♪

[Crying]
Oh, please.

No, please.

Please, please, please!

Oh, Jesus, don't burn me. Please!

Please!

No.

♪♪

No, no, please!

Now you know I hate this sh*t.

Just tell me you did it and that you're sorry, and I don't have to do this.

Yes.

Yes, I did it... all of it.

Sorry.
I'm so sorry.

♪♪

Please... I'm sorry.

♪♪

- [Groans]
- [Iron clanks]

That's all you had to say.

That is all you had to say.

[Sighs]

♪♪

[Screaming]

♪♪

[Sighs]

[Crying]

♪♪

[Chuckles]

A good thing we got a spare Dr. Carson.

I trust you, Dwighty boy.
Never should've doubted ya.

Sherry was one of my favorites.

- I'm sorry.
- I'm not.

♪♪

Hoo.

Ice-cold.

I love it.

[Knock on door]

[Knock on door]

Come.

[Door creaks]

Hello.

Are you all right?

[Door closes]

Better than that.

You can call next, but it might be a while.

Oh.

Did you make the pills?

I did.

But you can't have them.

Amber's counting on us.

We told her that you were gonna help us, and she says that she...

Pump your brakes, Red.

Do not insult my intelligence, Frankie.

Said pills aren't for Amber.

Said pills are for Negan.

That's why you wanted two.

Didn't he k*ll your friends?

Several.

But I imagine we k*lled about or so of his.

Turnabout and all that.

Give us the pills, or we'll tell Negan about it.

We'll tell him that it was your idea to make them and that you tried to get us to help.

That would be a tactical error on your part.

They'll believe me over you for the same reason he believed Dwight over the doctor.

You're replaceable to him.

I, on the other hand, am not.

You're a coward.

You're... a coward.

That is a correct assessment.

[Door closes]

[Knock on door to the tune of "Shave and a Haircut"]

♪♪

[Door creaks]

♪♪

May I come in?

♪♪

So, how you liking it here?

Are we doing right by Dr. Smarty-pants?

♪♪

You know, Frankie and Tanya... nothing but good things to say about you.

♪♪

[Sighs]

It's all right.

I get it.

I know how hard it can be to accept change, to get on the right team.

But I need you to understand something.

I do not make this invitation to everyone.

And I sure as sh*t do not make it lightly.

[Shuddered breathing]

Hey.

Hey!

You do not need to be scared anymore.

You don't need to be scared.

You just have to answer me one question.

And it's a big one.

Who are...

I'm Negan.

I'm utterly, completely, stone-cold Negan.

I was Negan before I even met you.

I just needed to meet you properly to know.

I'm Negan.

Eugene: Hey, be careful with that.

[Walkers growling]

Hey, you want to get b*rned by molten metal?

'Cause that's exactly how you get b*rned by molten metal.

[Door opens]

♪♪

Regarding me clamping down...

You on board?

I am.
Just like you.

Don't know if you recall my handle...

I don't.

Eugene.

You're Dwight.

♪♪

We are Negan.

Yeah.
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