03x01 - I, Witness

[bunniefuu]

(horse neighing)

(horse neighs, thunder crashes)

(neighing)

Pretty horse.

Oh, you don't have to be afraid.

I can sing you a song.

Would you like that?

♪ Who k*lled Cock Robin? ♪
♪ I, said the sparrow ♪

(deep, distorted voice): ♪ I saw him ♪
♪ Die... ♪

(monster roars)

Shh. Shh.

(snarling)

We have work to do.

(monster roaring)

(grunts)

Abbie: Hey, Johnny.

(groans)

Did you miss me?

Sorry for the delay, sir.

Johnny here forgot his manners.

Johnny, buddy, thought we had a deal... we help you, you help us, right?

Did Lorenzo change the meet?

Don't know.

Yo! I don't know.

We know your boss is unpredictable, but we promise to protect you after we take him down.

I'm being straight with you.

'Zo didn't say nothing about a new meet.

Dude.

But I can check.

Okay?

Come on. Come on.

Make sure I can find you, okay?

You best keep an eye on your CI, Agent Mills.

If Lorenzo gives us the slip, he won't come up for air for months.

Yes, sir, but Johnny will come through. When I was at the sheriff's department, there was a case just like it.

You're not with the sheriff's department, are you?

So stop thinking like local law enforcement.

Or isn't Quantico teaching that anymore?

Look, you're moving up fast, okay?

Which means somebody thinks you're good.

So prove 'em right to me.

(phone ringing)

Excuse me, sir.

Mills.

Yeah, I know him.

What? He's where?

(door slams shut)

Officer (over P.A.): Opening 513!

(lock buzzes)

Lieutenant... thank you for coming.

Damn, Crane, what the hell happened?

They told me they caught you trying to enter the country with restricted materials.

A matter which I shall address presently.

(sighs) First, a more pressing issue.

Uh-uh. How long you been here?

Uh, this is the morn of my fifth day.

Fifth day.

And you're just now calling me?

Yes, well, it has been some time since last we spoke.

You've been gone nine months.

You said you needed to take a little walkabout, clear your head... I understood.

No, you've been through a lot, but I don't hear from you, for nine months, and then, this is the call that I get... to bail you out of the I.C.E. detention center.

Indeed, there is much upon which we need to catch up.

You think?

You're right.

I have been delinquent in my communication.

Mm.

Initially, it was because I required solitude.

Then... it became a habit.

A deeply regrettable one.

Is that what I think it is?

Katrina's necklace.

I'll admit I kept it out of sentiment.

But this charm is spiritually linked to the soul of Abraham Van Brunt.

Last night, something happened to it.

I was in the midst of what has become something of a ritual.

A nighttime communion of sorts.

And I return to the question that echoes through my soul.

Is my destiny to be not but a ceaseless traveler, inexorably slouching my way through this mortal coil?

Can you hear me, Jesus?

I hear you, C-Dawg. Don't got no answers.

But as a wise man once said: "It's a hard knock life.

For us."

Mm-hmm.

So true. That is so true.

(grunting in pain)

(gasps)

The energy has been drained from it... completely.

I believe something has happened to Abraham... something dire.

Now, if something has happened to the Horseman of Death, it means there are dark forces in motion.

First things first.

I need to get you out of here.

So tell me what you tried to smuggle past Customs.

An artifact.

One of immeasurable significance.

I believe it holds the key to our future as Witnesses, Lieutenant.

Agent.

I'm not a Lieutenant anymore.

I'm a special agent for the FBI.

You joined the federal police.

Like you said... lots of catching up.

Want me to get that?

Where's my package?

You can file a claim for seized items online.

Now look here... the right to personal property is a fundamental...

Crane, I will make sure that you get your stuff back later.

Right now, we just need to get out of here. Thank you, sir.

Very well. I leave my possession here with these noble soles, my comrades.

Thomas Paine described America as a place "where all parts are brought into perfect unison."

Indeed. Though my stay here has been brief, I have come to value the concord I found with my fellow detainees.

You want to stay with your new pals?

Good God, no.

Man: (laughs) Told you!

I can't miss.

Oh, dude, that was me.

Oh, the hell it was.

God, why do you got to be like that?

Why does it always got to be you?

Well, because you couldn't hit an elephant if it was hugging you.

Hey, that reminds me. How's Sally doing?

(laughs)

Yeah!

(grunting)

(laughing) Come on, man.

Come on. (laughs)

(eerie growling)

Hey, are you mad?

Oh, screw you!

(laughs)

Oh, come on, man. Don't be a tool.

(monster growling, man screaming)

Brent?

(grunts)

(gasps, whimpers)

Aah! Brent! Brent!

(footsteps thudding)

(roaring)

(growling)

(hissing, growling)

It was only then that I gleaned what they meant by "return to your upright and locked position."

Crane on a plane!

I miss everything.

Lieutenant...

Agent.

Agent.

No. Yeah...

On second thought, doesn't sound right.

Just stick with "lieutenant."

Certain?

I can only handle so much change.

What's all this?

Yes. Agreed.

(laughs)

Crane, you really should have called me sooner.

We are a team.

But are we?

We're friends, of course, and colleagues, but "team" implies a mission; purpose.

Henry and Katrina's deaths closed a chapter for us.

And it reminded me, perhaps I am truly adrift in this time.

Then it dawned on me.

Perhaps there are other descendants in the Crane line.

Then I would not be alone.

So, I traveled to my family ancestral home in Scotland...

...where I made an astonishing discovery.

♪

Abbie: A tablet?

That's what Customs nailed you for?

"Improper import of cultural heritage antiquities."

A bureaucrat's flight of fancy, if ever I heard one.

Fortunately, before they confiscated my property, I was able to decipher some of its engraving.

It was Sumerian.

4,000 years old.

Roughly translated, it said: "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow."

(laughs)

Are you serious, Crane?

Yes, I assure you, I am.

Do you not see... this tablet...

Let me guess. You think this is an ancient prophecy about our place in the w*r between good and evil?

Shamans thousands of years ago predicted what was gonna happen to us, and that this Babylonian artifact will hold the key to what we're supposed to do with our lives.

Am I right?

Well, no, actually, you're not.

It was Sumerian, not Babylonian.

Ah.

Oh, d... all right, fine... that is what I believe, but...

Lieutenant, do you not see?

This tablet could hold the key to our mission as Witnesses.

Our mission? For all you know, this is Sumerian sudoku.

Our mission is over.

We stopped Moloch and the apocalypse.

(phone rings) Mills.

Dispatcher: Agent Mills, we have a report of two dead bodies in Westchester National Park.

Local authorities are requesting federal assistance due to jurisdictional issues.

Copy that. I'm on my way.

(hangs up)

I have a new mission now.

I'm an agent of the FBI.

Working theory is animal att*ck.

But the thing is, I know this area.

And there aren't any predators around here.

(indistinct police radio communication)

Blood?

I don't think so.

It looks like some kind of residue.

As if something brushed up against it.

Can you take a sample of this?

What is it?

Certainly not human.

Nor any animal I know of.

Dragon's Breath.

Something I obtained on my travels.

Or something you picked up in duty-free.

(mutters)

It was used by the Dominican Order during the Spanish Inquisition to test for demonic activity.

If demons are present, it should... heat up a little.

Well, perhaps... we should try something different.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Evil has returned to Sleepy Hollow.

Very impressive.

Certainly a step up from the sheriff's department.

Step I've been meaning to take for a while.

Lieutenant...

Look, Crane...

I never faulted you for leaving.

It was something you had to do. After you left, I realized that I couldn't put my life on hold.

You know, before the Horseman and all the other craziness, I had a plan. I was on my way to Quantico and I'm finally back on that path.

And this... this feels good.

Anaconda.

Mm.

A multi-state drug trafficking ring.

The boss, Lorenzo Chang, has evaded capture for years.

But we just got word of a meet he'll be at tomorrow.

So you've moved on to taking down monsters of a different variety.

You could say that.

Mills. My office in ten.

And grab the rest of the Anaconda task force.

Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

This is Ichabod Crane.

Crane, this is Special Agent in Charge Mitch Granger.

At your service.

Uh-huh.

Ten minutes.

Yes, sir.

Charming.

I like him.

He busts my chops, but he's a good agent.

Lieutenant, far be it from me to stand in the way of your professional endeavors, but... there is a far greater role for us.

A fact proven by my recent discovery.

Has it ever occurred to you that you went looking for your purpose and conveniently found one?

I did not invent the tablet.

No, but you know as well as I do that translating ancient languages is hit-or-miss.

You wanted it to be important, and have meaning, so it did.

Lieutenant, the Bible foretells that the two Witnesses must endure seven tribulations.

The first ended with the death of Moloch.

This new... evil may mark the beginning of the second.

I agree something weird was involved with the hunters.

Maybe a... stray monster.

Didn't get the "w*r's over" memo.

Or maybe those guys are mixed up in some dark occult thing.

I don't know. I'm gonna help you get to the bottom of it, but the idea that this is the apocalypse 2.0...

(door opens)

Woman: Agent Mills?

Here are the forensics on the dead hunters.

Thank you, Dani.

"Elevated levels of ACTH."

What is that?

Dani.

Huh? Oh, sorry.

Um, ACTH is a hormone secreted by the pituitary during moments of terror.

Yeah, see? Both of the victims' fists were clenched and locked... literally frozen in fear.

There you go.

And the red substance?

Oh, we're still working on the analysis.

Thanks, Dani.

Despite what I'm certain is excellent work on Miss Dani's part, science will only take us so far.

We need to tap into information of a less terrestrial nature.

(door creaking open)

Welcome back to the archives, Crane.

What happened?

The city sold the building to developers.

It's scheduled for demolition next month.

I've been in here packing up stuff for weeks.

Demolition?

Mm.

This chamber has stood since the 1750s!

The... Battle of Lexington was plotted right here.

Now it'll be a mini mall.

A mini mall...

Is there no regard for the past?

And...

What are these?

Jenny: Reminders. Of an old friend.

Don't tell me you've forgotten your old friends.

Miss Jenny.

Hey, stranger.

Oh!

(chuckles gently)

Abby told me you were in town.

Had to come see for myself.

And Captain Irving?

Up and left in the middle of the night.

He said it was the best way to protect his family. No word, no warning.

Like witness protection.

You have no idea where he's gone?

No.

But someone probably helped him leave.

Someone who knows how to get in and out of countries quietly.

Someone who's been getting around the law ever since she was young.

Someone who's said good-bye to too many friends.

Abbie: So... what exactly are we looking for?

Ah.

The bestiary texts.

Preferably Voynich or Codex Serafini.

Any that catalog mythological creatures.

You're looking for a demon?

Indeed we are.

Specifically one that can manipulate fear.

Woman: One for sorrow, two for mirth.

Three for a wedding, and four for a birth.

Five for silver, six for gold.

Seven for a secret... not to be told.

So afraid.

(no voice)

And yet, they have no idea... just how powerful their fear can be.

But I know.

And I want more.

(computer beeps)

Ah. It's the lab report.

So that red substance is mercury sulfide.

Commonly known as cinnabar.

Cinnabar.

Jenny: Cinnabar used to be used as a pigment in supernatural artifacts.

Crane: The hides of certain demons are believed to contain high levels of it.

Ah.

Demons including Yao-guai.

A creature dating back to the Tang dynasty.

Here: "Known as b*ttlefield demons. Drawn to the frenzy and energy of armed conflict. Most notably, they have the power to paralyze their victims with fear."

b*ttlefield demon?

What's it doing in Sleepy Hollow?

Could it have k*lled Abraham?

These demons are known to be servants, not masters.

Jenny: Meaning that someone summoned it here.

Someone evil.

Someone powerful.

There is a new player in town.

Benjamin Franklin's sketchbook.

Franklin wrote of the survivors of a particular battle and their report of a horrific encounter with a red devil.

I always assumed the term was a pejorative for the British Red Coats.

Apparently, it was meant literally.

Which battle?

The battle of Bunker Hill.

Fire on my ready... fire!

Crane: In the early going, Colonial losses at Bunker Hill were extremely heavy.

According to Franklin, it wasn't just due to British firepower.

(growling, snarling)

(snarling)

You think a Yao-guai was present at Bunker Hill?

It would explain the accounts.

Abbie: Colonial soldiers found a way to turn the early tide of the battle.

But their fortunes only turned after General Washington was able to get a message to Colonel Prescott, who was leading the American troops.

This message must contain the key to defeating the Yao-guai.

Do Franklin's notes say what was in the message?

No.

They were top secret.

Which is why Washington had it delivered by his most trusted operative...

(man whistles loudly)

...an agent highly skilled in combat and evasion...

(shouting, grunting)

...one who singlehandedly penetrated the British front line.

(horses neighing, men shouting, cannon booming in distance)

Her name was Betsy Ross.

Betsy Ross?

The flag woman?

Betsy was a little more than just "the flag woman."

Her role as a seamstress was a cover.

Betsy was a woman of many talents.

So we've heard. Betsy and Crane kind of were a thing.

We were not a "thing."

She was my colleague, my compatriot, my partner.

Often in crime.

Mm-hmm. Sounds like a thing.

A thing.

Yeah.

There may have been moments.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Any further, we risk detection.

This will do.

(distant g*n and cannon fire)

The battle grows.

Perhaps you should wait.

The longer I wait, the more men die.

And more shall fall if you die.

Why, Ichabod...

...are you worried about me?

Of course.

General Washington said this mission is of the utmost importance.

Such sweet talk.

You do know how to melt a lady's heart.

Uh, uh, well, I meant that...

I know what you meant.

The ever-proper Mr. Ichabod Crane.

Someday, some woman will make you forget all those manners, cause you to do something impulsive.

I just hope I'm there to see it.

(clears throat)

Time to go.

Men's lives are depending on the contents within.

For luck.

Smooth...

Hardly.

The point is, we must find out what was in the message Betsy carried.

Unfortunately, very few artifacts survived Bunker Hill.

Okay. So we can start in the National Archives.

With my FBI clearance, we should...

Got it.

Pardon?

I found the message.

I spent years recovering obscure artifacts from all over the world. This is what I do.

Okay, so as far as I can tell, the message and that satchel ended up as part of Colonel Prescott's estate. They were passed down from owner to owner, until eventually being sold to an entertainment franchise company.

Huh.

It's in Colonial Times.

(groans) We need it in the here and now.

No, no. I mean it's actually in Colonial Times.

♪

The deeds of so many brave men and women, signposts of history, reminders of our hardship and the ultimate sacrifice...

They've taken it and used it to decorate an eatery.

They also have mini golf out back.

Welcome to Ye Olde Colonial Times!

Hath thou dinest with us before?

Why are you talking like that?

It be how we spoketh in days of yore.

If you're wounded in the head, perhaps.

We're just gonna take a little look around.

The corner goes at the front.

You're not a pirate.

(groans)

Huh. "Spaghetti and Musketballs.

"Cannot Tell a Lie "Cherry Pie.

Eggs Benedict Arnold."

For shame, for shame.

This is exactly how you remember it, right?

Exactly how I...

Very funny.

Come on, Crane.

At least they're keeping the Founding Fathers alive in people's memories.

Yes, and using it to line their pockets.

Crane, look.

(quietly): Is that it?

(whispers): That's it.

Stand guard.

Mmm. At least they got something right.

Let's go.

You realize this is stealing.

We'll return it. If it makes you feel so bad, buy something.

Unbelievable.

Very clever, Betsy.

A John Jay cipher, if I'm not mistaken.

I'll be able to decode it.

Just need a moment.

You want to work on it at the archives? I can drop you off.

Anaconda.

We take down the drug operation today.

Ah. Yes.

There's a lot of evil in the world, Crane.

(starts engine)

Not all of it is supernatural.

Ma'am?

Is everything all right?

Yes.

Where you going?

That settlement, over the rise.

How far is it?

Settlement?

Do you mean...

Um...

What were you asking?

You know what? That's all right. I feel like walking.

It's a good five miles to town. It may take a while.

It has taken me a very long time to get here already.

A lifetime, really.

Miss Jenny.

Good. I've decoded much of Betsy's message, but I may require some assistance interpreting it.

Oh! Unless I'm interrupting.

Oh, no, no, no, just... memory lane-ING it.

I'm realizing something.

I stole a lot of stuff.

It's too bad "supernatural relic hunter" isn't something that looks good on a résumé.

You've sought gainful employment.

Employment, yes. Gainful, not so much. Unless you count those office supplies I swiped during my week as a paralegal.

Finding a role and purpose in this world has rather occupied my thoughts, as well.

It's good to have you back, Crane.

Now you and I can not fit in together.

Anyway, let's see what you got.

Ah, yes.

The message concerns the nature of the Yao-guai.

Apparently, it is attracted by two things: The first trigger is aggression.

It senses aggression the way a dog senses fear.

The second trigger seems to be gunpowder.

Perhaps drawn by the scent?

You said this thing was created during the Tang dynasty, right?

Yes.

That's when gunpowder was invented.

Chinese alchemists were searching for the elixir of life, instead, they accidentally created gunpowder.

So, if this beast was summoned during this process, it would naturally be drawn to it.

Damn straight.

Let's see a paralegal do that.

Exactly.

I have no idea what a paralegal is.

Me, neither.

Where's Abbie?

She and her FBI colleagues have set out to ensnare an underworld Mandarin.

You're saying a bunch of angry people with g*ns are gonna be bumping heads with a lot of other angry people with g*ns?

In other words, perfect conditions for a Yao-guai att*ck.

Agent: Move! Move!

All units sound off once you've cleared your floors.

Sir.

(Yao-guai snarling)

Stay here. Cover the door.

(distant g*nf*re)

(snarling)

(a*t*matic g*nf*re)

(distant g*nf*re)

(growling)

No. Granger.

Freeze!

Turn around, slowly!

Slowly.

(snarling)

(Yao-guai hisses)

(gasps)

(choking)

(roars)

(snarling)

Sir...

Sir!

(choking)

Agent down! Repeat!

We have an agent down!

Stay with me. Stay with me, sir.

Sir, sir. Stay with me.

Sir.

The FBI had launched a massive manhunt for Chang.

They've pinned Granger's death on him.

How were you able to drive it away?

It att*cked, I sh*t and wounded it.

You wounded it?

Yeah.

The Yao-guai's hide is supposed to be impenetrable.

Unless you somehow found its vulnerability.

(sighs)

(roaring, moaning)

Its eyes turned white when it att*cked, like a shark's.

White eyes...

Of course.

That explains the order Washington told Prescott to deliver to his men.

(distant yelling)

Don't fire until you the whites of their eyes.

(Yao-guai growling)

That's what that means?

Prescott was letting his men know when the monster was vulnerable.

It's a narrow window.

Couldn't have been more than a few seconds.

It requires a coordinated att*ck.

When the Yao-guai goes after one person, another watches its eyes and prepares to fire.

It requires teamwork.

(phone ringing)

(Abbie sighs, groans)

Mills.

What?

Yeah. No. I got it.

I'll be right there.

They found Chang.

He's holed up at a warehouse at Port Chester.

He's got hostages, and they're asking for me.

A standoff?

Uh-huh.

If that escalates, it'll be catnip for the Yao-guai.

Go. We'll follow close behind with a plan of att*ck.

You keep me posted?

Miss Jenny?

g*ns, knives, things that go boom.

We're back in the demon-fighting business, we're gonna need 'em.

We got the place surrounded, but he has four hostages.

And he wants to talk to you.

Says he'll only deal with the agent that was there when Granger went down.

This guy's got some kind of personal vendetta.

You're walking into a death trap.

I don't really have a choice, do I?

(distant shouting)

Crane: Aggression levels are running high.

There's been no g*nf*re.

That's why I brought bait.

Jenny: Gunpowder.

Can't catch a shark without chumming the water.

Lorenzo.

It's Agent Abbie Mills.

I'm coming in.

You.

You were the one there with me, with that thing?

Yes, I was.

Then you know I didn't k*ll that guy!

And I'll tell everyone about it once you let these people go.

You don't give a damn about the truth!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

All right, all right, Lorenzo... yes...

I saw the monster.

And it's a nasty one.

I know that because I have seen demons, witches, ghosts, even the Horsemen of the Apocalypse... I've seen 'em all.

And I know how you feel.

I'd rather they weren't real, either.

It would've made my life a whole lot easier.

Lorenzo, the monsters are real.

But it's okay, because... it's my job to stop them.

I'm a Witness... and that is my mission.

(Chang sobbing)

You bitch!

There.

(growling)

(hissing)

Crane: It's not working.

We need to draw it away from there.

(growls)

(roaring, growling)

Well, that worked.

(Yao-guai growling)

Right... I'll draw the monster near.

You take the sh*t.

Remember... do not fire until you see...

The whites of its eyes. Got it.

(steam hissing)

(Chang groaning)

Hold your fire!

(groaning)

Nice work.

(growls)

(Yao-guai huffing)

(growls)

(roaring)

(inhales quietly)

(huffing)

(growling)

(growling)

(Jenny groans)

(growls)

Crane: Miss Jenny!

(Yao-guai roaring)

(growling)

(g*nshots)

(Crane gasping)

(sighs)

(sighs)

Are you okay?

Yes. Yes.

Thank you for... that.

(Abbie chuckles)

Welcome back, Crane.

Welcome back, Lieutenant.

How did you persuade the self-involved Magistrates of Immigration and Customs Enforcement to return my property?

It's one of the perks of the job.

I can also sic the IRS on someone, if you want.

Now, this is precisely the abuse of centralized federal power that Thomas Jefferson warned against.

Do you want your stuff or not?

Yes... please.

Ah.

Thank you.

Abbie: Mm.

Magnificent, isn't it?

What's this?

Here along the edge...

Looks like a... another piece.

Those guys look kind of like you two.

(officer chuckles)

What is this?

This is actually a single word.

Perplexing to translate.

It's actually closer to Akkadian than Sumerian, and allowing for discrepancies in regional dialects...

Crane...

It means "destroyers."

Meaning what? Destroyers of what?

An excellent question.

You don't still think this is some kind of prophecy, do you?

I mean, look, this can't be us, right?

I have no answers, Lieutenant.

Merely an inkling... one that tells me this tablet means something.

Something important.

And... and our work is not complete.

Well, I suppose you're right about that.

For one thing, we don't know who k*lled the Horseman, or who summoned the Yao-guai.

Am I to take it you agree the second Tribulation has begun?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Someone's got to keep you out of trouble.

Jenny: Here we go.

On the house.

Thank you.

You keep giving us free drinks, you're gonna be out of a job.

Ah, Mike doesn't care.

Or he wouldn't, if he knew.

Wow. Crane does not seem to mind.

(exhales with satisfaction)

I would never have believed that blueberry stout would work.

Well, looks like I'm getting refills.

You know, Crane, you don't need some stone tablet to justify your place in the world.

You belong here just as much as anyone else.

Even if "here" is a country that turns its history into themed restaurants. (snickers)

Hmm.

(laughs)

I suppose you're right, Lieutenant.

It's not the country I thought it would be.

But it is the one I have.

And I must accept it for what it is, just as I ask it to accept... me.

And... you were wrong.

When you said that Henry and Katrina's death meant that you were alone.

You may not have family, but... you are not alone.

I shall drink to that.

Mm.

Oh, it appears we may need to provide for ourselves this time.

Oh, take mine. I got it.

For Jenny's sake, I'm gonna settle our tab.

Oh!

Ah! I'm sorry.

Let me get you another.

Oh, you know what?

It's okay. I'm gonna take that as a sign that it's time to call it a night and go back home. (laughs)

Or to the hotel, rather.

Mm-hmm.

You from out of town?

Yes, I just arrived.

Pandora.

Abbie.

Pandora... that's an interesting name.

It's like the lady with the... the box.

The lady with the box.

Yeah.

Which is actually more of a dowry.

(laughs) You know, I studied the classics, so I tend to get a little carried away with the old stories sometimes.

I have a friend just like that.

♪ It's a hard-knock life for us... ♪

Oh, I'd like to meet your friend... sometime.

♪ It's a hard knock life for us ♪

Yeah. Welcome to Sleepy Hollow.

♪ 'Stead of treated, we get tricked ♪
♪ 'Stead of kisses, we get kicked ♪
♪ It's a hard-knock life! ♪

It already feels like home.