2x10 - Over

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Scene: White Residence

Skyler: You're not thinking about going to work today, are you?

Walter: Thought I would. That inhaler really seems to be doing the trick. What?

Skyler: Just take the rest of the week. Please. You've earned it. Don't push it. Besides, I want you well for the weekend.

Walter Jr: Mom wants to par-tay.

Skyler: It's just a little get-together, that's all. Sunday afternoon, maybe? Nothing too big. Just family and a few friends. We've got a lot to celebrate. Don't you think?

Walter: Sounds good.

Skyler: Now, what are you supposed to do today?

Walter: Nothing.

Skyler: Excellent. Brownie points for taking a nap.

Walter: Can you meet?

Scene: Restaurant

Jesse: I thought maybe you might have, you know, kicked. Signed off. I was even checking the obits.

Walter: No such luck.

Jesse: So where does it stand? Coughing up blood, giving speeches like, "I deserve this. I'm an assh*le." What's the upshot?

Walter: The upshot. The upshot is that I have radiation pneumonitis.

Jesse: Damn.

Walter: Actually, it's not as bad as it sounds. It's a fairly common occurrence, easily treated. In fact, the news is all good.

Jesse: What do you mean, good? You mean, like, good good? You mean, like, remission good?

Walter: Remission. Not to imply I'm cured. I still have cancer. But there's been a significant reduction in the tumors.

Jesse: How significant?

Walter: 80%.

Jesse: Dude! No way!

Walter: Now, I'm not out of the woods yet, not by any stretch, but "options" is the word they keep bandying about.

Jesse: That's awesome! Serious? That's great, man. I mean, my aunt, she never I mean, at your stage, I didn't think that could happen. Mr. White, you kicked its ass, yo! You must be so psyched.

Walter: Of course. I am. Now we. I mean, what do we...

Jesse: I almost forgot. So, how do you want to, you know, proceed in light of this kick-ass news?

Walter: We'll take our time and stay cautious. Sell off what we have. And then I guess I'm done.

Scene: White Residence

Skyler: Everyone? Hey, you guys. I would like to make a toast, with my non-alcoholic beverage.

Hank: Somebody k*ll the music.

Skyler: I know one party can't begin to repay all your support and your many, many kindnesses. But then again, Hank does make one mean margarita. We really do want to thank you. These last few months have been a challenging time, to put it mildly. But I have to say Walt's come through it like a champ. Honey, I'm so proud of you. I'm gonna stop with the sappy stuff. But it's true. It really is. And for the first time in a long time, we are so excited about the future. Anyway, I want to also express my gratitude to two very special people who couldn't be here today. But they send their regrets and their warm wishes. Gretchen and Elliott Schwartz, for those of you who don't know them are well, they're heroes. They are incredibly generous friends who made the amazing offer to pay for Walt's treatment. And they did. So to Gretchen and Elliott.

Hank: How about the man of the hour? Come on!

Walter: It's kind of funny. When I got my diagnosis, cancer, I said to myself, "Why me?" And then, the other day, when I got the good news I said the same thing. Anyway, thank you for coming. Enjoy. Cheers.

Hank: Tell you what. I gotta give those bastards points for originality. I'll tell you that much. A little mercury switch, that's how those cartel boys party.

Walter Jr: But why a turtle?

Hank: That's the best part. It was a, what the hell's the word I'm looking for? Not a metaphor, not an analogy. It's a, what's the word I'm looking for? Anyway, "Tortuga." That was the name of our snitch. Bean-speak for "tortoise." Tortoise, turtle, what have you I never knew the difference myself. Top me off there, will you, buddy? Anyway, poetic. I guess, yeah. Poetic. It was poetic. That's the word. I guess that's the word.

Walter: Go ahead.

Hank: Better not let your mom see. I think I see a hair. Maybe two!

Walter Jr: There's no worm in this, right?

Hank: That would be Mescal. Talk about your hangovers, okay? I was down in Glynco, Georgia. I was back east, doing some training. Had this firearm instructor who was, he was a good ol' boy. There you go. Thanks. I mean, this guy could put 'em away like he had two livers, okay? Like a fish, okay? Like a drunk fish. We were drinking Mescal stupid. But...what are you doing there?

Walter: What does it look like I'm doing?

Hank: The kid's 16. What are you, going for Father of the Year?

Walter: What are you looking at him for? We're celebrating. Come on.

Hank: Listen, I'd take a pass on that one if I were you, okay? Think we've been bogarting this puppy long enough.

Walter: Bring the bottle back.

Hank: Sorry, buddy. No can do.

Walter: My son! My bottle! My house!

Hank: It's all right.

Walter: What are you waiting for? Bring it back.

Hank: Why don't we just call it a day? All right, pal? We good?

Walter: The bottle. Now.

Skyler: What's going on? Here, sweetie.

Scene: Jesse’s Apartment

Jesse: This is your brain. This is your brain on dr*gs. You weren't supposed to wake up.

Jane: Ever or?

Jesse: I was just thinking that I'd bring it, you know, in.

Jane: You want me to go back to bed?

Jesse: I guess that'd be kind of...

Jane: Need some help?

Jesse: I got it. Just have a seat.

Jane: Is there any coffee?

Jesse: Yeah, sh*t. One second.

Jane: At least let me do that.

Jesse: I don't want you to have to do anything, you know? All right. Here. You take the good one. It's huevos rancheros.

Jane: I can tell. Fork?

Jesse: There you go.

Jane: So what are you up to today? Working? Whatever that means.

Jesse: Nope. I'm all yours.

Jane: Really?

Scene: White Residence

Skyler: Hey, this is Skyler. Please leave me a message. Thanks.

Walter: I just wanted to say that, we'll talk tonight, but I wanted to say that I'm not exactly sure who that was yesterday, but it wasn't me. I'm sorry. Love you.

Scene: Beneke

Ted: Hey, there. Who brought the churros?

Skyler: That would be me. If I leave 'em at home, I'll wind up eating them all myself, so. They're actually leftovers. We had a little get-together for Walt.

Ted: It wasn't his birthday, was it?

Skyler: Actually, Walt's got, he's been battling cancer. And last week, we got good news.

Ted: I'm so sorry.

Skyler: But we're really optimistic.

Ted: Great. Good news is great.

Skyler: Yeah, it is. It really is.

Ted: Feel free to bring these any time.

Scene: Store

Employee: Got some real beauts.

Walter: You cannot b*at the thermal efficiency of the C3. Then again, what about tankless?

Employee: Sure. We got 'em. The good ones will really run up your price though. Set you back about 1,200.

Walter: It's not an issue.

Employee: You want installation, right?

Walter: No. I'm gonna do it myself.

Employee: That's what I like to hear.

Scene: Jesse’s Apartment

Jane: And who's this? This guy can surf without a board?

Jesse: That's Hover Man. He can surf, skate, glide, whatever, 'cause he's always got a 6-inch cushion of air under his feet.

Jane: That's cool. Great lines. And this guy? What's his superpower?

Jesse: That's Kanga Man.

Jane: Kanga Man. Half man, half kangaroo? And who's this in his pouch?

Jesse: His sidekick Joey. He rides around in his pouch and, you know, fights crime.

Jane: So that makes Kanga-man a she. You know that, right? Only female kangaroos have pouches.

Jesse: I know. But, you know, it's definitely a dude. He's a product of experimentation.

Jane: He's kind of hot, I guess. Nice haunches. And this is?

Jesse: It's Backwardo. Wait, no. I actually changed it to Rewindo. Anyways, he goes backwards. He can make everything go in reverse.

Jane: Time and stuff? Like time traveling?

Jesse: No, he just walks backwards.

Jane: He walks backwards. Is that a superpower? What good is that?

Jesse: He does it, like, really fast. Look, say someone's coming at him with a Kn*fe. Right? It's helpful. Then he can just zip backwards away from 'em. I was a kid when I drew all these. It was, like, four years ago.

Jane: They all look like you.

Jesse: What?

Jane: It's you in all of these. I wonder what a shrink would say if he saw them.

Jesse: Shut up. Like you never wanted a superpower.

Jane: Is that your door or mine?

Jesse: I don't know.

Jane: It sounds like mine. I gotta go.

Jesse: Where? Where? Hold up. Where are you...

Scene: Jane’s Frontdoor

Jane: Hey, Dad.

Donald: There you are. Hi, honey. I saw your car, so I was pretty sure you were home.

Jane: Sorry. I was working. I had my headphones on.

Donald: Finally realized that I wasn't the drum track?

Jane: Exactly.

Donald: I was in the neighborhood. Was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch.

Jane: Sure.

Jesse: Hey. This your dad?

Jane: This is the new tenant.

Donald: Donald.

Jesse: Jesse.

Jane: I'm sorry. Did you need something? Dad, why don't you come in? It was nice seeing you.

Donald: It was nice to meet you.

Jesse: You, too.

Scene: White Residence

Walter Jr: Hey, Dad.

Walter: Hey, son. Are you home early? Oh, man. Did you have a good day?

Walter Jr: Now it is. Finally, hot water. No more toxic waste.

Walter: Yes, indeed. Top-of-the-line, on demand, unlimited supply.

Walter Jr: Sweet.

Walter: Want to take her for a spin? Listen, why don't you go to the kitchen sink? Let me know when you're ready, and I'll give you a holler. The pilot in. Ignition. Bingo.

Walter Jr: Ready!

Walter: All right. Let her rip! Built-in corrosion resistant draft reducer, safety thermocouple at the pilot burner.

Walter Jr: Sounds really good, Dad.

Walter: And the energy savings. I mean….oh, careful, careful, careful. There's probably some adjustments I need to make there. Are you okay?

Walter Jr: I'm fine.

Walter: Son, about yesterday...

Walter Jr: I'm sorry about the pool.

Walter: No. That was not your fault. Not at all. Your old man embarrassed himself, and I'm not very proud of my behavior. I have to say I feel very foolish.

Walter Jr: You and Uncle Hank, you seemed pissed off.

Walter: We're fine. Everything's fine. I called him this morning and made my apologies. But, son, I owe you an apology most of all. I should have used better judgment all around. Having you drink in the first place, it was not right, and for that I'm very sorry.

Walter Jr: But I kept up, right? You and Uncle Hank. I drank three.

Walter: I have some tools to put away.

Scene: Jesse’s Apartment

Jane: You want to catch a movie later? What?

Jesse: What was that all about?

Jane: What?

Jesse: Before. With your dad.

Jane: It wasn't about anything.

Jesse: So I totally just misread your total dis?

Jane: If anything, I was doing you a favor.

Jesse: A favor?

Jane: I told you. He's a hard-ass.

Jesse: He seemed cool to me.

Jane: Yeah, well…

Jesse: So what's the deal?

Jane: There's no deal. I was helping you out, okay? Protecting you.

Jesse: How's that?

Jane: I mean, I'm letting you smoke in here and everything.

Jesse: I bought a filter.

Jane: And I figured the less he knows, the better.

Jesse: You acted like you didn't even know me.

Jane: So?

Jesse: So?

Jane: You think I'm going to be all like, "Dad, meet the stoner guy who lives next door. And by the way, I'm sleeping with him?”

Jesse: That's all you think you're doing?

Jane: Why do you even care about my dad?

Jesse: I don't!

Jane: Good. Then I don't know why we're talking about it.

Jesse: Us. All right? I'm talking about us.

Jane: Us?

Jesse: You and me.

Jane: Who's you and me?

Jesse: I'm out of here.

Scene: White Residence

Walter Jr: Dad! Dad?

Walter: What?

Walter Jr: What are you doing?

Walter: We've got rot.

Walter Jr: Rot?

Walter: I'll show you. Here. Take a look at that. See that? Ever seen anything like it?

Walter Jr: It's wood.

Walter: It's wood that contains fruiting bodies.

Walter Jr: Fruity what?

Walter: Fungus. And it is on a rampage.

Walter Jr: I don't really see anything.

Walter: Well, it's there. You just have to know where to look. Here. Then you cut it all out. You just cut it out and start fresh. Well, better get to it.

Walter Jr: Is the whole house gonna collapse or something?

Walter: Not if I can help it.

Scene: Beneke

Ted: You bucking for a promotion? Go home already.

Skyler: I will. Can I just ask the Keller account.

Ted: Keller account?

Skyler: It's listed as a Current Asset on this balance sheet, but the invoice was never presented to Accounts Receivable, so.

Ted: God. One of these days I'm going to have to sort through all the Dad stuff. He had so many "Don't worry about it, pay me Friday" relationships with these little companies. We'll figure it out tomorrow. Or not.

Skyler: Right.

Ted: Seriously, you're not gonna make me lock you in, are you?

Skyler: Jesus. I'm fine. It's hormones. Honestly. It happens all the time. I'll see you tomorrow.

Ted: What's wrong?

Skyler: I guess it just doesn't feel any different.

Ted: The good news?

Skyler: I mean, nothing's really changed. It's just postponed. There was supposed to be a light at the end of the tunnel. But lately, it just feels like...

Ted: More tunnel.

Skyler: I'm sorry. I just feel so damn ungrateful. I don't know.

Ted: For me, it was the flu.

Skyler: What?

Ted: My dad rallied at the end. I mean, it wasn't the full-on good news Walt got, different circumstances, but we were happy, we were over the moon. And right then, I got sick. Flu. Boom. Knocked me on my ass for days. Couldn't get out of bed, couldn't move. Great timing. And I wasn't even putting two and two together. I was just thinking, Why now? Being that rock, being that rock takes everything you got.

Scene: White Residence

Skyler: Are you going to work today?

Walter: Skyler, there's rot.

Scene: Beneke

Skyler: Damn! Clumsy.

Ted: I got it.

Skyler: You don't have to do that.

Scene: Store

Walter: You're buying the wrong matches.

Drug Dealer: What?

Walter: Those matches. They're the wrong kind. Red phosphorus is found in the striker strips, not the matches themselves. You need to get the big 200-count box of individual matchbooks. More striker strips. You understand? Those only have the one. And don't buy everything in one place. Do it piecemeal. Different items, different stores. Attracts less attention. Are you following me here?

Drug Dealer: There he is. That's the guy.

Scene: Parking Lot

Walter: Stay out of my territory.