01x12 - Father Frank, Full Of Grace

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Shameless". Aired: December 2010 to present.*
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An alcoholic man lives in a perpetual stupor while his six children with whom he lives cope as best they can.
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01x12 - Father Frank, Full Of Grace

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪
♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪
♪ You were beaming once before ♪
♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ What is this downside ♪
♪ That you speak of? ♪
♪ What is this feeling ♪
♪ You're so sure of? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Round up the friends you got ♪
♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪
♪ You were willing once before ♪
♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ What is this downside ♪
♪ That you speak of? ♪
♪ What is this feeling ♪
♪ You're so... ♪
♪ Sure of? ♪

(snoring)

("Clandestine" by Brooklyn playing)

♪ We don't know where we are going... ♪

(yells)

♪ 'Cause we don't know where we've been... ♪

f*ck.

♪ Take me home ♪
♪ Before I fall ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't stop livin' that dream ♪
♪ When I say. ♪

JASMINE: No lattes or anything, but they did have hot chocolate for Debbie.

Thanks. And thanks for driving.

But, but you don't have to stay.

Oh, it's cool. I'll hang for a bit.

Tony! Did you see them?

Still in back. When can I see them?

If Lip's not charged as an adult, you can see them both in court tomorrow.

Charged as an adult?

He's 17, they may charge him with felony grand theft auto.

There's no way that Lip would steal a car. He's too smart.

And Ian doesn't even drive.

If they didn't steal it... They didn't steal it!

If they didn't, then they have to tell the detectives who gave them the car and agree to testify.

If they don't give up a name, Lip could do five years.

If I get convicted, I can't enlist.

What?

In the Marines?

Good. I was planning on kneecapping you in your sleep to keep you out of Kandahar anyway.

I was hoping for Korengal.

Isn't that where, uh, Todd Iggulden's brother lost a foot?

Got him the Silver Star. Yeah?

And a handicapped placard to hang from the mirror of his mom's Civic.

BERNERO: Phillip Gallagher.

No relation to our favorite overnight guest Frank, I hope.

Son. You're Frank's kid?

And this is your first felony bust?

Getting a little late start for a Gallagher, aren't you?

Slow study, I guess.

And Ian.

Another Frank progeny?

'Fraid so.

You always let your brother speak for you, Ian?

He's mute.

I can talk.

BERNERO: So, what... you two geniuses stole a Porsche Cayenne and, what, decided to go on a little late-night White Castle run?

Come on, Ian.

You do not want to do time.

Not with that face.

I stole the car.

Ian didn't know anything about it.

♪ ♪

Set 'em up, Mr. Barkeep.

Just had last call, Frank.

So there's still time.

All right. One.

Rot-gut.

Cheapest stuff you got in the house.

So, uh, Kev.

Just out of curiosity, do you happen to know the age of consent in Illinois?

FIONA: Come on, come on, pick up, pick up.

STEVE (over voice mail): It's me. Leave a message.

(voice mail tone sounds)

Steve. Lip and Ian have just been arrested driving a stolen car.

Did they get it from you?

Did they?

Where the f*ck are you?

(gasping)

What happened to you?

(coughs)

Pick-up hockey game.

What were you, the puck?

Hey, where's my Cayenne?

Beeler called. Said you never showed.

I don't know. It should've been there by now.

You're supposed to be delivering it yourself. Yeah, I was out looking for that 911 that you wanted.

I wanted the Cayenne.

Beeler needs it in the container before the ship leaves for Dubai. Yeah, don't worry about it.

(keypad beeping)

(phone line ringing)

Come on, come on...

(phone ringing)

It's almost 1:00... I got to get going before, uh, Hal decides I'm having another affair.

Let me drive you home.

You can get some sleep, and then come back first thing in the morning.

Thanks. I'm gonna stay.

Do you want me to take Debbie?

She could sleep at our house tonight.

I want to stay with Fiona.

Thanks for driving.

Give you a call tomorrow. Make sure everything's okay.

♪ ♪

(grunts)

I saw you from the window.

Are you cold?

Yeah.

Aw.

You're out of the house again.

Yeah.

Every day a few more steps.

I'm up to 13.

Yeah.

Come on, sweet man.

Let's get you a nice warm bath.

Jail? Why didn't you call me?

Jasmine was there. Who?

FIONA: One of the moms from Deb's school.

She was there when the cops called.

She gave us a ride. You were there all night?

Yeah. Till they moved them downtown.

What about a lawyer?

They gave them a public defender for their first court appearance.

f*ck that. We need a real one, not some just-got-out-of- law-school liberal do-gooder with a 2,000 ghetto-kid caseload.

ETHEL: She's right.

My husband's public defender never even met Clyde before the arraignment, then suggested he plead guilty to child molestation and sexual abuse.

What about Dickie Day? He helped Marty out with that arson thing.

Marty got six years.

Tony says the judge might just release Ian to me... I mean, he doesn't have priors.

Yeah, but what about Lip?

They might charge him as an adult.

He's had a couple scrapes with the cops.

DEBBIE: Truancy, shoplifting, drinking, and that fight where he fractured Cam Matlock's cheekbone.

But no felonies, though.

Stolen Porsche, you said?

Mm. Still no Steve?

Steve?

Steve!

sh*t, Steve.

Yeah?

A couple of kids were brought in here last night... Gallagher?

Has bail been set yet?

Turk, take 12-36.

Jackson backed 12-17 into a hydrant on Halsted last night.

Trashed the back end!

Uh, it-it's Gallagher.

It's, it's Phillip and Ian.

(typing)

No bail. Haven't been arraigned yet.

Probably make it into court sometime later today or tomorrow. Thank you.

I'm worried about her, Frank.

After everything she's been through with her father, the humiliation and, and rejection...

I-I'm just so worried that she's going to make some terrible mistake that she regrets the rest of her life.

Hi, sweetie. How did you sleep?

Karen, sweetie?

Do you want to have some breakfast?

Don't go to the basement yet.

Come and sit with us.

(door closes)

More cookies to sell?

Is Jimmy here?

No.

He's back in school in Michigan.

No.

He's living 96 blocks away on the South Side, dating my sister, stealing cars, and going by the name of Steve.

(door opens)

Look... there's no easy way to say this, but we have to stop.

It's my boy.

Lip.

I'm sorry, I can't do it to him.

You and me, I mean, it-it was amazing.

Earth-shattering.

The world turned on its axis and all of that.

It was for me, too.

And you, so young and sexy and taut and tight and...

But I'm...

I'll still be there for you, of course.

If you need help with your homework or you need me to teach you how to drive or... the toilet needs plunging.

You know, normal things between a man and his girlfriend's daughter.

But you and me... a man has to be able to look his son in the eye.

A man... has to have the courage to fight the things in his nature that... you understand... his passions, his needs and desires.

Well, okay.

There, I've said it.

You go back to Lip, I'll go back to your mother.

Yes? Okay?

Good. Good.

Here, here.

Get yourself something nice.

(tires screech)

What the hell is that?

Your Cayenne.

Supposed to be black.

Paint it.

(sighs)

What?

I need my end.

You'll get it when I get it.

No, I need it now.

You... all right, I got a job.

Not interested.

Bring me two Lexuses.

Black if possible, 450 LS's.

There's only three grand in here.

Look, bring me the 450s, I'll give you ten grand next week.

I'm not gonna be here next week; I'm not gonna be here tomorrow.

All right, come back tonight, I'll get you the ten grand.

What?

Hold onto my money, I'll be back for it.

Detective.

Yeah?

Case landed on your desk last night... Gallagher, Phillip and Ian?

Yeah.

What's it going to take to let them walk?

Markovich, is it?

You related somehow?

They're from my neighborhood.

Good kids.

Lip's bright as hell, doing great at school.

Ian's in ROTC, wants to join the Marines.

They wouldn't have been in that car if they knew it was stolen.

So, uh, you just know them from around the neighborhood, is that it?

I'm pretty close to their sister.

Oh.

They get off, I promise, I'll kick their asses up and down the block.

Well, they gotta tell me who gave them that car.

They won't snitch and you know it.

Then they're doing time.

Bears tickets.

45 yard line, 23 rows up.

You pick the game.

Two games.

(sniffs)

All eight games next season.

Fine.

Preseason and playoffs.

Hey.

Hey.

(Fiona and Lip grunt)

KEVIN: Ah!

You guys popped your cherry!

Hey, did you guys see my dad in there?

(laughter)

They give you a cavity search?

No, we weren't there long enough.

Think it was probably on the menu, though.

Hey, it's Karen. Leave a message.

Hey, Karen, it's me.

Um, call me back when you get this message, all right?

See anybody get shanked?

We were cuffed to a bench in a hallway most of the night, Carl.

(knock, door opens)

Clean towels.

You both need showers; you're rank.

I'll go first.

They take your belts and shoelaces so you wouldn't hang yourselves?

Carl, go help Veronica with dinner.

I helped with breakfast. You pulled out a cereal bowl.

Go.

So?

I'm sorry, Fiona.

It was stupid.

Could have ended up in prison.

Where'd you get the stolen car?

Lip's not here, okay?

I'm asking you.

Was it from Steve?

Hey, Fiona.

I'm gay.

I know.

I should have told you a long time ago.

I-I don't know why I didn't.

You're still on my sh*t list.

(door closes)

(rock music blaring)

♪ Girlfriend for hours ♪
♪ It just keeps coming ♪
♪ This love has been ♪
♪ I am ♪
♪ Alive ♪
♪ I am ♪
♪ Alive. ♪

Mind over matter.

That's the trick in matters of the flesh.

It's all about willpower.

Some people have it, some don't.

Me? Got it in spades.

Ah!

Lip and Ian were released.

Released from what?

Jail.

Huh.

About time, too.

You must struggle with temptation, Kevin.

Nubile, young temptress traipsing around your house.

In and out of the bathroom in her dainty little undies.

Are you talking about Ethel?

What is she, 13?

Fourteen?

They know.

They pretend they don't, but they do.

Hannah Montana?

Those oversexed kids on Glee?

Think they're selling good, wholesome, all-American fun?

Hell, no!

Flesh and underage temptation.

You can look, but, oh, no, don't touch.

f*ck off, Frank.

We see firm young bodies, every synapse in our cerebellum screams, "procreate, impregnate!"

It's not our fault.

We're driven by the deep, invaluable, evolutionary need to perpetuate the species.

My brother Bennie's girl... 15.

Running around his house in short shorts, lace bra, underwear hanging out.

I banged Filipino hookers in the Navy looked more innocent than my niece.

All right, you two sick fucks are cut off.

Willpower, my friend!

Willpower!

We are warriors battling against the dark forces of our primal nature.

Knights taking up arms against our animalistic impulses in a debauched culture.

Doing battle every day, gentlemen.

Every single day!

Season tickets?

Just for the year.

Playoffs, too?

Jesus.

This Fiona better be the best p*ssy you ever had.

She's the only p*ssy I ever had.

Check out this idiot.

You stupid or just hard of hearing?

Ian and Lip are in jail.

I thought I told you to leave town.

They were driving a car that I stole.

Yeah, yeah, I know. They told you?

No, of course not; they're South Side.

You got to get them off.

Yeah, and why's that?

'Cause they're innocent.

They didn't know they were driving a stolen car?

I'll give you the house.

What?

The house that I bought beside Fiona's.

I'll give you the title; it's paid for.

You get the charges dropped, it's yours.

You paid for a house in cash?

It's a shitty neighborhood; I could have bought two.

How many cars have you stolen?

Do we have a deal or not?

Nothing else is changed; you're gone.

You don't see her, don't call, don't write.

Disappear.

I'm gone tonight.

What the hell was that?

I think I may have just found a way to move out of my mom's basement.

Good job, good job.
VERONICA: Hey, where is everyone?!

Kitchen!

Chopped up some leftover chuck for Bolognese Ragu.

I hope everybody is good and hungry.

Hey.

Carl, set the table.

Hi! I'm Jasmine.

Oh, sorry.

Jasmine, this is Veronica.

V lives next door.

Hiya, V.

Those are great boots.

Macy's?

Famous Footwear.

Oh, wow. I got to check that place out.

Pour yourself some bubbly, V.

We are celebrating the boys' big breakout.

Silverware, plates, now.

Brought some Chianti.

Oh, great.

Well, we're making stir-fry.

Hey, try this.

Ready?

Perfect. Good?

All right, do you want to try it?

Oh, no. Okay.

What do you got there, V?

What's in here?

I, um, I made some pasta sauce.

Oh. Good, good.

Well, you know, with teenage boys in the house, you can never have enough.

CARL: You figured out what you're going to do to them yet?

Huh? Punishment.

Ground them for a year?

Nothing. I'm not their mother.

So I can steal a car and nothing will happen to me?

You steal a car and I'll smother you in your sleep.

I need to talk to you.

Can it wait, Debs?

Yeah, guess so.

A toast.

I'll stick to my red. Okay.

Debbie...

It's okay.

To Chicago jurisprudence and adolescent misadventure.

Cheers.

Cheers!

FIONA: Where you going?

Karen's.

Dinner's almost ready.

Not hungry.

Hello!

Hi. Hi.

The jailbird?

Yeah, one of them.

He's cute.

Hey, so we can definitely use some help at the office, with tax season coming up.

You still want that job, come by tomorrow.

I'll be in the office all day long.

Thanks.

A job?

Yeah, guess so.

Karen?!

Hey, Karen, you down here?

Hey, you okay?

Left you a couple messages, but you, you didn't call me back, so...

You doing all right?

I'm sorry for what I said.

I was being a f*cking assh*le.

(Lip groans passionately)

(both panting)

LIP: I love you!

Oh, my God!

I spent last night in jail.

Ian and I, grand theft auto.

I think we should stop seeing each other.

What, because the sex is sh*t?

I think we should just be friends.

Why?

Don't make this harder than it has to be.

Wait, wait, wait.

Is it because I said that I love you?

Because I don't love you.

That wasn't "love you" "love you."

That was like middle-of-sex, you know, "love you."

Listen, honest...

I don't love you.

Okay, no, listen. I promise, I promise I don't love you!

Karen!

Karen, I don't love you!

♪ ♪

(indistinct chatter)

Lip?

(sighs)

(knocking quietly)

You all right?

How was Karen?

Lip...

She f*cking dumped me.

Were you two even a couple?

(groans)

Still feel shitty.

She is kind of a slut.

Yeah, but... then so am I.

Maybe why you two got along?

(chuckles)

I think I was kind of falling in love with her.

♪ ♪

Hey. Hey.

We're heading over to the Tiki, grab a couple... want to come?

Nah, I'm behind on the damn paperwork.

I haven't even checked my e-mails all day.

Hey, I got the ice hut set up on the lake.

We fishing this weekend?

Of course.

You bring the Old Style, I'll bring the kielbasa?

Got it. All right.

♪ ♪

FRANK: Oh, Mother of God!

Ooh.

(Frank and Karen moaning)

No, no, no!

KAREN: What do you think now, Daddy?

Am I still a whore?

FRANK: Oh, God! Oh, Mother of God!

She never misses dinner without calling.

She's so sweet that way.

You gonna finish your pie?

Oh, no, no, you go right ahead, sweetie.

Mmm.

You know what I was thinking?

Maybe, maybe I should buy her a car.

You know, she was so disappointed when Eddie didn't give her his.

I mean, I've got some money saved.

I could do it.

How much money?

I think, like, about $12,000, I think.

I know a guy sells cars.

Why don't you give me the money, and I'll find her something nice.

Would you do that, Frank?

That would be wonderful.

Ah...

(banging at door)

Uh! She must have forgot her key.

Maybe, maybe you could teach her to drive.

Would you do that, Frank?

Yeah! Teach her?

(pounding on door)

Hold your horses! I'm coming!

Maybe a Vulva... I heard those are real safe.

(door opens)

Eddie, y... you know you're not welcome here!

You're not coming in!

EDDIE: I saw Frank! I saw what you did!

SHEILA: Eddie, stop, you're gonna break the door! Eddie!

(yells)

Where are you, Frank?!

Where are you?!

Eddie...!

Eddie!

Frank!

♪ I want you, too true ♪

You'd better run, you bastard!

Eddie! Eddie!

Eddie!

Eddie! Eddie!

♪ I got you now. ♪

(knocking)

Fiona?

Debs, why aren't you in bed?

We need to talk.

What's up?

It's about Steve.

There are things you don't know about him.

I already know, Debs.

You do?

Life's messy and people have secrets.

But I don't want you worrying about this kind of stuff, okay?

You're still a kid.

So just be a kid, okay?

The grown-ups around here have got things covered.

Really?

Really.

Come on.

(indistinct chatter)

(sports announcers talking indistinctly over television)

Where is he?

Where is who?

Frank.

Frank Gallagher!

He's not here!

If you happen to see Frank... tell him he's a dead man.

I don't care how long it takes, I don't care how much he begs, he's f*cking dead.

You f*cked the wrong guy's daughter, Gallagher!

(sports announcers talking indistinctly over television)

(door shuts)

FRANK: He gone?

Yeah.

(whistles, chuckles)

Anybody got a spare pair of shoes I could borrow?

STEVE: Leave the lights off, please.

Are Lip and Ian home?

You bastard. Are they out of jail?

You gave them a stolen car? Yeah, Lip asked me.

To borrow one 'cause he needed to run some errands or something, and he asked me if I could...

(groans)

I have to leave town.

Where the f*ck have you been?

(water running)

Come with me.

Costa Rica. It's beautiful.

I have friends there.

(water shuts off)

Why do you have to go... the police?

Costa Rica.

We can rent a house on the beach.

I don't know what the f*ck you're talking about.

The kids would be all right. Lip and Ian can run things.

Yeah, Debbie? Carl? Liam?

Kev and V can still help around here.

Is that what you actually think this is?

Like, people popping in, feeding dogs?

How much time will you get if you turn yourself in?

Look at me. I can't go to jail.

I might as well wear heels.

Come with me, Fiona.

How long is it gonna be about them and not about you?

When are you gonna finally do something for yourself?

Liam's two. 16 more years till he's out of the house.

You'll be what, 37, 38?

And who says that Frank's done dumping babies in your lap to raise?

You deserve a life of your own.

Costa Rica.

Then maybe Rio.

Have you ever been to Rio? You ever been outside of Chicago?

I love you. I want to be with you.

It's not forever. We'll come back.

Three months.

Six months. Maybe a year.

You can call them every single day.

Come with me, Fiona.

Come with me.

First class.

Miami out of O'Hare, tomorrow afternoon.

Well, I don't have a passport.

We'll get one in Miami.

I'll meet you at O'Hare tomorrow afternoon... the American terminal.

I love you.

He's right.

You should go, Fiona.

You've done more than enough.

We'll be all right.

♪ When the bough breaks ♪
♪ And the sun sets ♪
♪ All the birds rise ♪
♪ Up to me. ♪

(siren wailing)

(shivering breaths)

EDDIE: Gallagher!

I'm going to find you, Frank!

Just a matter of time, you assh*le!

(indistinct chatter, laughter)

What the hell is going on?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That is awesome!

(Frank and Karen moaning)

Okay, guys, turn it of!

FRANK: No, no, no, no, no!

(clearing throat)

(horn honking)

(laughter)

Gallaghers.

LIP: What?

Joey!

What?

Be a pal, Lip.

When you and Frank get done passing around, uh, "Daddyzgirl," why don't you, uh, send her over to our place?

Someone's got to pop this little p*ssy's cherry.

We'll just make sure to double-bag his itsy-bitsy johnson first.

♪ ♪

Frank?

Frank?!

One more person deserting them.

Costa Rica?

Drinking blended margaritas under an umbrella on a white sand beach?

Give me the ticket. sh*t, I'll go.

I got a job offer.

You know, I could start bringing in some steady cash.

Answering phones at some office in Cermak or sambaing in Rio?

That's the Sophie's choice you're agonizing over?

What are you afraid of?

That the kids won't miss you?

That by day three or four, Carl will be saying, "Fiona who?" when you call?

Afraid, if you ever do something even remotely selfish, the earth's gravitational pull will end and we'll all go flying into space?

No. sh*t.

(sighs)

I think I might be in love with him.

I know.

Scary, isn't it?

Come on.

(engine roaring)

(grunts)

Lip? Jesus. What are you...?

You f*cked her?

(groaning)

You f*cked her?

(both grunting)

KEVIN: All right, all right, come on.

Calm down, calm down!

Get the f*ck off me!

(groans)

KEVIN: Enough!

Enough!

Enough!

Calm down.

(panting)

Get out of here.

(groans)

You m*therf*cker. Go!

Why would he do this?

Because he's a f*cking psycho.

I told him straight... very nice, very reasonable.

"You'll get your 40 bucks when my new disability claim kicks in."

The next thing I know, he's b*ating me to death.

Honey, this is all over money?

You should have asked me for it.

I would have given it to you.

No. I couldn't take advantage.

Sweetie.

You are too easy on them.

They don't deserve you.

(sighs)

You know, when it's all said and done, you're the only one who's nice to me.

Oh, honey.

You're really nice to me.

Sweet man.

♪ It's been a long time ♪
♪ Since I've seen your smiling face ♪
♪ It's been a long time ♪
♪ Since I've seen a sunny day ♪
♪ It's been a long time ♪
♪ Since you wore your pillbox hat ♪
♪ It's been a long time ♪
♪ Since we drove your Pontiac ♪
♪ It's been a long time ♪
♪ Since you gave me butterflies ♪
♪ It's been a long time ♪
♪ Since I've seen it burning ♪
♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ But I don't mind ♪
♪ When I've got you next to me ♪
♪ Next to me ♪
♪ It's been a long time ♪
♪ Since we tripped into this ditch ♪
♪ It's been a long time ♪
♪ Since we drank the arsenic ♪
♪ It's been a long time ♪
♪ Since we've been inside ♪

(toy squeaks)

♪ Of this tomb ♪
♪ But I don't mind ♪
♪ When I've got you next to me ♪
♪ Next to me. ♪

(siren wailing in distance)

How's your hand?

It's broken, I think.

Where'd you get the car?

What?

The one you wrecked trying to k*ll your dad.

I stole it.

You're getting pretty good at that, huh?

Quick study.

I'm sorry, Lip.

f*cking fathers, huh?

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

Lip?

Lip!

(pebble clacks on window)

Lip! I'm sorry!

Okay? I'm a sh*t.

No, I am.

A complete assh*le. I know it.

If your grandmother was here, she'd say it, too.

It's totally my fault.

We all do things.

Well, not all.

It's like... the moon orbiting the earth.

These things show up, and you know you shouldn't, but then you do, and then you don't know what to do.

But we can't hold it against her.

She's young and carefree.

I mean, we're both victims here, you and me.

The Bible says it is blessed to forgive, son.

And that forgiveness is the first step... on the stairway to heaven.

(sighs)

We're both f*cking victims!

Open the window, son.

How can I ever really say I'm sorry?

sh*t.

What the f*ck?!

(muttering): Fair enough.

(chuckles)

("Littlething" by Jimmy Eat World playing)

♪ It's how I've often felt ♪
♪ When I find myself ♪
♪ Oh, on nights like these ♪
♪ Like Christmas Eve ♪
♪ From the empty office window ♪
♪ To the street outside ♪
♪ It's everything not to call... ♪

Sorry...

♪ And find out why ♪
♪ It's just a little thing ♪
♪ Buried in the other things ♪
♪ Burning away from inside ♪
♪ Would you stay with me tonight? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I know it's just a little thing ♪
♪ Buried in the other things ♪
♪ Burning away from inside ♪
♪ Would you stay with me tonight? ♪

Hey.

♪ And there's a quiet dream ♪
♪ I'm not supposed to think ♪
♪ Eating away at my mind ♪
♪ Could you stay with me tonight? ♪
♪ It's just a little thing ♪
♪ Buried in the other things ♪
♪ Burning away from inside ♪
♪ Would you stay with me tonight? ♪
♪ And there's a quiet dream ♪
♪ I'm not supposed to think ♪
♪ Eating away at my mind ♪
♪ Stay with me tonight. ♪
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