02x01 - Summertime

Jesus, you really don't remember what happened last year?

Pay some f*cking attention this time.

Steve: Your life's not simple, Fiona, and you're nothing like anyone I've ever met.

You make me want to enjoy my life again.

Steve: Who the hell is that?

My dad.

In my whole career, I've never seen such a spectacular display of alcoholism. Thank you.

Fiona: How much are we short? Debbie: $18.30.

Lip: I'm take the PSATS for some Polish kid.

Are you able to kick in, like, ten more?

I get paid Friday. Okay, I'll figure out the rest.

Steve: I can loan you the money.

We don't need your charity.

"Fiona, thanks for a night I'll never forget."

Who the f*ck's Tony?

Tony: I've waited a long time for last night to happen.

At least Tony's not coming here getting all in my family's business what the f*ck is wrong, Frank?!

Maybe that's what I want.

You know nothing about me.

Then teach me!

I'm gay. I know.

That's for screwing my husband.

Linda: I want another baby.

What? I get what I want, and you can have what you want.

Kash: Put the candy back, now.

f*ck! sh1t!

I like you, Fiona.

You're a dirty girl, like me.

Jasmine, this is Veronica.

V lives next door. Hiya, V.

Veronica: We're only taking in a foster kid for a week to get the money to pay for my stupid parking tickets.

Kevin: Want to go over to the park, throw the ol' pigskin around?

Would it be all right if my son Jonah came? Huh?

This is the robotics lab. It is the best in the country.

Come by anytime.

Karen: Science just turns me on.

Eddie: What are you hiding?

I left them.

Lip: Your house is Frank's wet dream.

Never gonna get him out.

Dad. Son.

Karen: What are we?

Lip: Friends.

Just friends? Friends who like to do this.

I knew that.

Eddie: It says here you can re-dedicate yourself as a virgin.

Oral s*x, orgy, big black strap-on dildo.

You whore!

Karen: He humiliated me!

Get out!

Don't ever come back!

You're out of the house.

I'm out of the house!


What do you think now, daddy? Am I still a whore?

Frank? Frank?!

I think I was kind of falling in love with her.

Tony: How long you been stealing cars?

Who says I steal them?

(Tires screech)

I have to leave town. Come with me.

Costa Rica, it's beautiful.

Fiona: I think I might be in love with him.

Veronica: Scary, isn't it?

Steve: I love you.

I want to be with you.

Come with me.

♪ think of all the luck you got ♪
♪ know that it's not for naught ♪
♪ you were beaming once before ♪
♪ but it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ what is this downside ♪
♪ that you speak of? ♪
♪ what is this feeling ♪
♪ you're so sure of? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ round up the friends you got ♪
♪ know that they're not for naught ♪
♪ you were willing once before ♪
♪ but it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ what is this downside ♪
♪ that you speak of? ♪
♪ what is this feeling ♪
♪ you're so... ♪
♪ sure of? ♪
♪ ♪

77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84...

Won't be long now, Frank.

In a few days, she's gonna make it to the store, then the hair salon, Alibi room.

Gonna meet your friends.



Hear all those heart-warming, scumbag freeloading Frank stories.

(Motorcycle approaching)

Who the hell is that?

Friend from group.


s*x addicts anonymous.

Gig's almost up, daddy Frank.

Time to make other plans.

One hundred!

(Indistinct radio transmission)

(Squealing happily)

Hey, cut it off, Ernie.

Thanks, lieutenant.

Hey, do you mind if we drop Cami off early tomorrow?

Teresa's got inventory at Costco.

No problem.

And tell Teresa thanks for the case of dented soup.

Bye-bye, Cami. Mwah.

Pool's open!

(Kids shouting happily)

(Chatting and laughing)

Eddie goes to the corner for a pack of Lucky's, never heard from again.

Goddamn city couldn't wait to stop paying him.

Wasn't two weeks before the checks stopped coming.

And now what are we supposed to live off of?

Sheila's single disability check?

How does Mr. Osama-Obama expect us to survive on that?

Man: He gonna try and tase me. I hit him.

If Sheila does go to work, what's she going to make?

Minimum wage... at best.

Nobody's heard from Eddie?

He tases me... Not a word.

Man's got no sense of responsibility.

Leaving a family of three to fend for ourselves.

Man: I got tased twice, man.


What you say?


I said bullshit!

I got tasered for like a second, I crapped myself.

There's no way you got tasered twice, fought off three cops ran away.

(Blows raspberries)

You calling me a liar?

At the very least, an exaggerator.

A grand says I did.

Kev, you still got that taser back there?

I'll see your grand and add nine more.

10,000 in American legal tender says you can not get tasered twice and not soil your tighty whities, much less keep standing.

All right, shithead.





Do it.

(Frank laughing)

Do it!

(Electrical crackling, man grunting)


(Electrical crackling, man grunting)


Where's my ten grand, m*therf*cker?

(Loud music playing)

Hey, gorgeous, more Diablos.

Oh, you think these boy scouts can handle that kind of heat, girls?

No. No, not a chance.

Not a chance.


Six more Diablos, a JB back, Ketel One up with a lime wedge, Maker's Seven, and four Stellas.

Haven't given up on that one yet?

Fiona: Every summer needs a challenge.

Man's in love with his own fabulous self.

Probably masturbates while he licks his reflection in the mirror.

Jasmine: Fiona!

Who's that, slutty's husband?

Uh, no. Hal's rounder.

Hi. Hi.

Fi, this is my friend, David.

Jasmine's told me a lot about you.

Only that you're fabulous, smart, and unbelievably sexy.

And that you're home for the summer from Princeton.

I'll get us a table.



We're going out later. You want to come?

What about Hal?

Annual Michigan fishing trip with the softball buddies.

Mosquitos, bratwurst and gallons of Budweiser.

Sounds pretty brokeback to me.

Come later, live a little.

That a regular thing?

First time I've seen him.

She probably did his taxes, then did him.

♪ ♪


Kick him back, you're punching like a fag.


Man: First round. Go to your corners.

You know you're supposed to hit him back, right?

f*ck, that kid hits hard.

What did you think this was going to be?

I didn't think he could punch me with a foot.

You see that? He kicked me in the top of my goddam head.

Listen, look at me.

You want to throw in the towel?

Man: Round two (Clanging)

I would if I was smart.


♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ I'm gonna blow a fuse ♪
♪ when my techno music, pop music, retro music, rock ♪
♪ turn it up on a Friday, bump it all night long... ♪

He's crazy about you.

Long Island, two Landsharks, three Mojitos, Margarita no salt, Chivas Neat and a Jack Rocks.

All the woman needs is a pole.

Why don't you come out with us later.

Kev won't mind. I can't.

I got a shift at the nursing home in the morning.

This better be somebody who's about to give me a gigantic tip.

God, I'm so sorry.

I thought your ass was my drink.

Veronica: Hey, Justin Bieber.

How's things at Goldman Sachs? Going well enough for me to afford getting ripped off coming here.

And it's JP Morgan. Oh, whatever.

All you mortgage-raping sh1ts should be in prison anyway.

Yeah, well, I was in grad school during the mortgage crisis.

Nowadays, we're trying to short Euros so Greece will go bankrupt.

Are we on for later?

I haven't decided if I still like you.

Later, mama bear.

Hey, junior, school night.

In bed with the lights out by 10:00.


Order's up.



♪ Turn it up on a Friday, bump it all night long ♪
♪ I-I-I'm gonna party when you play my song. ♪

How the hell did that little guy kick Kurt-fucking-Landis' ass?

We make anything on my fight? Thanks, Rasmik!

Nah, nobody wanted the odds.

What'd you put down? On the fight you lost?

Nada. Fraternal loyalty doesn't extend to stupidity, bud.

So, Mickey's out soon, yeah?

In about a week or so if he doesn't stab anybody else.

Plastic fork--

Barely broke the kid's skin, but it bought him another 30 days.

You got to be looking forward to having Mickey home again, huh?

I guess.

Hey, I want to stage another fight night next week.

Go around to the Dojos, round up some more scrappers, all right?

Sure. Where you going?


Thought you gave up on that.

See ya.


Karen Jackson? After that thing with your dad?

I'm sneaking antibiotics into his toothpaste, just in case.

(Vehicle approaching, tires screech)

(Thumping hip-hop music playing)

Baby: Tomorrow fuckhead!

(Vehicle accelerates, tires screech)

Jesus Christ!


Friend dropped me off.


What the hell you doing here?

Came to see Karen.

She went with a guy to her group.

What group?

s*x addicts anonymous.

Well, can I come in and wait?


(Train passing)

(Panting, moaning)


(Both panting)


Looks like old man Dave is beating your time, Romeo.

Yeah, well, I'm working without pharmaceutical assistance.

He was popping little blue pills-- I counted four.

Four, wow. We could be here awhile.

Ah, f*ck! I told my boss I'd meet him for a run in about an hour.

I could run with you.

I ran track in high school.


What? Don't look so surprised.

I ran distance.

There was a chance I was gonna make state.

Yeah? What happened?


Come on.

I'm fast. Oh, really?

I could beat your ass. You're on.



Okay, ready?

Give it to you.


Okay. All right.

On your mark... Yeah.

Get set... Okay.



What are you doing? Are you a valet now?

See you tonight?



(Tires screech)

Hey, Fiona.


How's work?

It's good.

How's your remodel coming?

You really want to know or just being neighborly?


Cast iron plumbing's out, replacing it with copper.

Guy on my shift moonlights as an electrician, so he's going to help me rewire.

You gonna flip it or live in it?

Waiting to see what happens.

I got to get the kids going.


Whoa. What happened to you?

One of my fighters pussied-out on me, I had to fill in.

Looks like the pussy had the right idea.

Get some ice on that eye.

Good morning.

We're out of mac and cheese.

I can make PB&Js instead, but I'm gonna need more bread.

How many signed up for today? Nine.

Romano twins, Cami, Mangis, that Ulin kid with the big head.

Whoa, half a cup.

I'm exhausted.

Liam had me up half the night banging his head.

I need my own room.

And I want a pony for Christmas.

He's a boy, he should be in with the boys.

No way, there's three of us in that room.

I'm a girl.

I'm going to be a woman soon.

I need privacy to undergo the upcoming traumatic transformation.

It's not that traumatic.

How would you know?

Video in fifth grade.

What are we talking about?

Moving Liam into our room.

No f*cking way.


First day care kid is here.

My own room?

It's not gonna happen, Debs.

Go, go.


"Traumatic Transformation"?

Wow. Ethel, the garden looks great.

It's all in the compost.

My red worms have been working overtime this year.

None of God's bounty ever needs go to waste.


Still on for today?

Think it still runs?

Probably not, but you can fix anything.

Hey, what are those huge round green things in the back?



She's a keeper.

Kevin: Mmm.

♪ Climb every mountain ♪
♪ climb every stream ♪
♪ climb all the rainbows ♪
♪ till you find your dream. ♪


Frank! Karen!


(Music box playing)

I moved it.

Hey! Good morning.

I, uh, I can't find my watch.

I have looked everywhere.

It's on your wrist.


I had mom move her rainy day fund after what happened last time.

Sheila: Karen, the omelets are ready!

I had nothing to do with that.


I hid her ATM card, too, so don't even try taking that again.

(Kids clamoring)

Her nose has been running, but I think it's just the glue that Jeff's been using on the new kitchen linoleum.

Bye, baby.

Oh, and please, no gluten.


Who knows.

Ooh. Hey, there you go.

There's Cinderella.

Uh, you all set?

Yeah. Playtime, one hour.

Tv or Bambi--

Skip the dead mom part.

Arts and crafts.

Cheetos and carrot sticks.

Story time, nothing scary.

Free play, lunch, nap, pool, Dr. Oz, twinkies and milk, parent pickup.

Oh, and don't wake you unless there's blood or exposed bone.

Lots of blood.

Who's ready for tv, guys?!

(Kids cheer)

Okay, let's watch.

♪ I just found out that your world of stone ♪
♪ was made out of powdered glass ♪
♪ I thought you'd try to save your soul ♪
♪ but it's too late ♪
♪ your time has come ♪
♪ ow. ♪

It's about time.

You see Kash last night?

No. He didn't come home again.

Had to open the shop by myself.

Homeless winos ten deep at the door trying to trade stolen recycling for 40s and mad dog.

Uh, pack of Marlboros.

How old are you, eight?

Get the hell out of here.

You handle the store by yourself?

I got to get upstairs.

The twins are going to be late for swim team at the mosque.

And no free breakfast.

You come to work hungry, you pay like everybody else.

(Bells jingle)

Linda gone?


Been waiting across the street for an hour.

Mm. Late night?

What do you care?

Linda: Where the hell have you been?


I waited up until after midnight.

You know the doctor wants me in bed by...

(Turns off monitor)

What are you looking at?

Go microwave me a burrito and stock the cooler.

A pack of Marlboros?

(Kevin laughs)


Hey, you try starting this thing since last summer?


Hey, how's the crop coming? It's almost harvesttime.

But I'm a bit worried though.

It seems like there's a lot more cops in the park this summer.

Yeah, I'm working on it.


I'll go chase the rats out of the coolers.

Hey, guys.

(Clattering, Kevin yelling)

♪ Kimba ♪
♪ Kimba ♪
♪ Kimba ♪
♪ Kimba ♪
♪ who lives down in deepest, darkest Africa? ♪

What are you doing?

Borrowing Liam.

Where's that, that backpack thingy?

Borrowing him for what?

Going to take him to the aquarium.

No, you're not, it costs too much.

Okay, then, the zoo.

When are you bringing him back?

I'll bring him back when I'm damn ready.

I'm his father, we need time together.

Should we wake Fiona?

See any exposed bone?

(Door closes)

Stan's yelling again, so loud you can hear him through the floor.

Oh, yesterday it was Nixon and Jimmy Carter.

What's it today?

I turned the tv up after "f*cking colored people."


He keeps going downhill like this, you're going to have to call Becky.

He has his good and bad days.

Bad days?

That's what you call trying to take out the trash naked?

He forgot his pants-- it happens, all right?

I know you love the old racist b*st*rd, but if it were my dad, I'd want to know he was going south.

It's probably time for her to think about putting him in a home.

I can't hear you.


N-no, I don't want to watch my language.

I've been speaking this language for the last 50 goddamn years.

No, you listen to me, you f*cking daughter of a chink whore.

Hello? Goddamn c**t, c**t, c**t.

She hung up on me.

The bitch didn't speak one word of English.

She's probably in the basement of some whorehouse in Calcutta.

A-and would you believe this sh1t?

What sh1t? My electric bill.

$8,700 bucks for electricity.

You know, I've been running this bar for 40 years and I never got a bill that was even close to a grand.

All I want is for them to send me one of their taco-eating, wetback meter readers to come here and check out the f*cking thing!

Nah, that's it, get me my shotgun.

I'm going to go down there and blow the c**t's head off.

Can I see it-- The bill? Yeah, here.

They must have made some mistake.

The only mistake they made was f*cking with me.

All right, Stan, would you please sit down?

Aah! Stan, sit down before you blow another ventricle. Yeah, blow, blow.

I'm gonna take care of this, all right?

Arizona's got the right idea, boy--

Take 'em down to the border and throw 'em over the goddamn fence!

That's it.

(Door closes)

(Bells jingle)

Ian, cover the register.

(Engine turning over)



(Engine starts)

We have a problem.

We may need to sell some pot.

Isn't that what we always do?

A lot of pot.

So Ethel's been helping us out.

You know how she told you about that kick-ass worm sh1t she's been using on her tomatoes? Yeah.

Well, it worked so good, we decided to use it on this year's crop.

You know how I usually grow a couple plants to get us through the summer?

Holy sh1t.


Wait, so what's the problem?

Forgot about the electric bill.

We need nine grand or they're gonna shut the power off to the building.

Isn't it wonderful?

Mr. Kevin is going to help all the old people who are going blind.

God bless you.

Jesus loves you.

(Heavy metal playing)

f*ck you, Frank.

(Hip-hop playing)

Jesus-- Oh, sh1t. Baby: Where's my money?

Okay, okay, okay, stop!

(Tires screeching, horn honking)

(Clears throat)

Back to work.

Your fly is down.

So how much do you think you've got growing down here?

I don't know, a couple hundred pounds or so.

I'm gonna start drying what I can, but that won't fetch more than a couple grand or so by Friday.

Well, you know what? Maybe we could, uh, unload some of the plants?

Yeah, how much would we have to sell?

Five maybe, six?

Lip, who the hell around here has two grand for a plant?

I might know a guy.

V's going to kill me.

She's going to f*cking kill me.

I promised her that I wouldn't sell more than three or four this year.

Normally I throw a bunch of seeds around, see which looks best, thin out the rest, but this year I couldn't.

They're all so beautiful, I just...

I just couldn't do it.

Where's my f*cking money?

That was great last night.

You were having fun, I was having fun.

Where's my f*cking money?

You were serious about that?

Get me the goddamn tin snips.

I-if, if I had won, I wouldn't expect you to pay me.

Take off his shoes.


It's a turn of phrase, like, uh, uh, "I bet it's going to rain today."

Yeah, let me tell you something, if I don't get my f*cking money, I'm cutting toes off and cauterizing 'em with a blowtorch.

You got my panhandling cash.

60 bucks, man?!

I was only out there for 45 minutes!

We'll keep the kid.

Yeah, as collateral.

Come back with my f*cking money, you get the kid.

I-I-I'll bring you your money, but you can't keep the kid.

You can't keep Liam.

I'll get you your money--

We can work this out.

Oh, we just did. No, no, no, no, no, absolutely you can't...


Light it up, get him up.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Keep Liam.

Get up out of here.

(Liam crying)

I'll be back, buddy, I promise you.

(Indistinct chatter)

Well... excuse me. I gotta go.


Gaga, Adele, Rikki, J.Lo, Nicki Minaj.

Even threw in some old Maxwell.

My guaranteed clitoris-moistening aphrodisiac music mix.

I hope so.

All she ever wants to do is discuss the lake poets.

And who the f*ck is Bruno Mars?

May be time to give up on the 22-year-old grad students, start banging in your own decade.

22-year-old grad students is the reason I got into teaching.

I'm too old to start over now.

Hey, you got my SIM board?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, any interest in purchasing a six-foot-tall pot plant?

Chicks love an old dude with great weed.

Yeah, how much?

Uh, a couple grand. Pricey.

It's primo stuff.

What the hell is that anyway?

It's a cop locator.

Rigging up a GPS system that uses police frequencies for coordinates.

Shows me where all the cops are in a given area at any given time.

Is that even legal?

What, trying to make sure our community is receiving its fair share of law enforcement resources?

Why not?

Listen, I-I got a lunch date, I got to go.

Oh, with who, David Petraeus?

No, I landed a department of defense grant.

Micro-robotics surveillance drone prototypes.

Yeah? Yeah, well, who knows if it'll work, but it'll put some government-issued pork in my pocket.

Listen, why don't you help us with it?

I could probably wrangle you some AP Engineering or Physics credits.

Ah, no, thanks.

You're gonna have to figure out how to blow up Afghan shepherds all on your own.

All right.

(Children chattering)

What are you doing?

Making a little easy summer moola the Gallagher way.

Where's Liam? In the car.

You don't have a car.

A friend's car.

You crack a window?

Left the engine running for the AC.

You left a toddler in a running car in this neighborhood? (Grunts)

That baby laxative?

This, my young progeny, is Dr. Frank's magic moneymaking fun dust. Oregano?

Fool's gold.

My I've-never-seen-it-fail summer solstice ATM.

(Door closes)

(Indistinct chatter)

(Ice cream truck music approaching)

Lip: Hey, maybe we can talk the electric company into taking a down payment, you know, payment plan kind of deal.

Oh, watch, customers.


Hey, what's going on? Boy: Uh, can I get a watermelon bob-pop, bubble gum snow cone, and a chocolate crunch?

You still selling loosies?

Uh, yeah, Marlboro lights--

Buck apiece.

What can I get you, champ? Lemon-lime shot, chocolate chip cookie bar, and a Molson's.


We sell American beer here to children of age.

Come back for a Bud Light when you're 16.

Boy: Two frozen Snickers, a bag of beer nuts, and a couple of joints.

You 14? Got ID?

(Siren wailing in distance)

What's your birthday?

June 3, 1997.


There you go.


You taking little league book like you did last year?

Absolutely, what do you want? Marlins.

U10 or u12?

U10 for $15.

You're not worried about that Ratkovich?

Kid threw 72 pitches yesterday.

Nah. He's Dominican.

Kevin: Hey, Lip, anything on this radar?


Nope. Closest unit is a foot patrol over by the play structure.

Sorry I'm late. I slept through my alarm.

Yeah, I came by last night, waited around for a while.

Well, I didn't get in till 4:00 A.M.

New guy? Jody.

He's nice.

I don't know. We got to talking about music yesterday, and he showed me a bunch of bands I've never heard of.

My favorite was called Guns N' Roses.

Guns N' Roses?

How old is Jody?

Uh, 37, I think.

You know, he laid out a blanket in the park, and we listened to his iPod, and fell asleep in each others' arms.

Wow. s*x any good?

No s*x. It's a part of this whole s*x Addicts Anonymous thing.

Right, but you're a teenager. I mean, all teenagers are s*x addicts.

Yeah, but I've been having s*x since I was 11.

I don't know. Jody and I don't want the physical to complicate things for us.

Yeah, but we can still get, uh, complicated, right?

Sure, I guess.

(Alarm sounds)

Oh, sh1t.

Uh, foot patrol, nine o'clock.

200 yards and closing.

Never heard of Guns N' Roses?

"Welcome To The Jungle"?

(Car horn toots)

Hey, kid?

Not a f*cking chance, Frank.

Still owe you a beating from last year.

Hey, you get... oh.

Ladies, hey?

Hey, anybody interested in a little primo bud?

Maybe a little snow for this hot summer scorcher?



Hey! Hey!

♪ ♪

Hey, guys, what you looking for?


Got to have money to spend money.

Hey, get off our corner!

What the f*ck?




Oh. (Laughs)

Parent pickup time. Mm.

Thanks, Debs.

You have any trouble today?

Little Charlie had a major diaper malfunction.

Ellie ate a bunch of carpet.

(Laughs) Normal, normal.

Oh, and, uh, Frank took Liam.


Said he was taking him to the zoo.



(Country music playing)

(Pool ball clinking)

♪ ♪


How's it going? Go away, Frank.

Is Mr. Todd here today?

I said, out! I'm in trouble.

You're always in trouble. Come on, Hugo.

You know me. I wouldn't be here unless I was desperate.

It's my kid.

I need money.

Which kid?


The mulatto?


No bullshit this time?

No bullshit.


(Toilet flushing)

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

Hugo: Hey, Frank?

Hold on. You got more takers.

♪ ♪


Liam and Frank aren't at Sheila's.

(Phone beeps off, knocking)

Knock, knock. Hey, Debs.

Hi, Jasmine.

Want me to start calling around?

No, I'll swing by the Alibi before work, see what he's up to.

What who's up to? Frank took Liam.

Probably has him out panhandling again.

David has a friend coming into town from New York.

I thought maybe I could hook you two up.

Who's David?

Uh, bye, Debbie.

A friend?


I met him.

Forties, handsome.

He's your type, too.

Oh, yeah. What's my type?

Cute and easily manipulated.

You take money from David?

You mean, am I turning tricks? No.

He takes me out, he buys me nice things sometimes.

That's what rich people like to do.

They like to spend their money.

Rich guys like a pretty girl on their arm, so, why not let them spoil us?

(Bells jingle)

Done at 5:00.

Cool if I split?

Kash, I'm off. Can I go?


You okay?


I can't do this anymore.

Live this lie.

Linda, our marriage.

This life of a lie.

What am I going to do?

(Cries, sniffles)

♪ ♪

Veronica: Frank wasn't at the Alibi?

No, and Sheila hasn't seen him.

He won't keep Liam long.

A toddler will interfere with getting hammered and passing out in the park before 11:00.

How was last night with Jasmine and grandpa?

I guess they've been together for years.

He's married, she's married.

Seems like it works out for everybody.

Yeah? You think it works out for his wife and her husband?

Hey, like clockwork.

How serious are you about this one?

Not very. Good.

'Cause he's a rebound.

He even looks like Steve.

No, he doesn't...


I got my running shoes in the car, and I want a rematch.

(Laughing) Rematch?

Yeah, we raced on the beach last night.

She smoked my ass.

Hey, wasn't that bad.

She annihilated me.

It wasn't a fair fight, though.

She was a track star. You ran track?

Distance runner. 1600. Broke some kind of state record.

No sh1t. What record did you break?

I didn't break it.

I mean, coach thought I might be able to.

What was the record?

The time that you were gonna break? It wasn't a big deal.

Come on, what was the time?

Coach thought I might be able to break five minutes, 25.

Who knows? Long time ago.

I bet that you could break it now. You know what?

We'll find a track, and we'll get a stopwatch.

Sure. Yeah?

I've got a table.




Got the truck running?

Yup. We are back in the ice cream business.

How was work?


Don't ask.

Hey, don't jerk off in there!

(Water running)

What the hell is this?

f*ck, Lip.

It's an admissions packet.

Oh, West Point?

Going through my stuff now?

Ian, you just graduated the tenth grade.

Wanted to see what it would to take to get in.

What, to West Point? You're kidding me.

You're actually serious about this sh1t?

Well, I was in ROTC for two years, so, what did you think, Lip?

I don't know. I thought it was some kind of stupid, fucked-up adolescent phase.

I mean, you really want to get your ass shot off in some -stan somewhere?


Yeah, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraqistan.

I guess I'm a patriot.


Don't worry.

It was really discouraging.

I'd need, like, a 4.2 GPA, a massive SAT score, and a recommendation from the president or some sh1t.

Only thing I know I can pass for sure is the fitness test.

Oh, so, what, the army requires straight A's now to get your leg blown off in Kabul?

You really want this sh1t?


All right, then, f*ck it. Let's make this sh1t happen. Yeah?

Hell, yeah. President's a local boy, I can tutor you.

You're a shoo-in.

I still think it's f*cking stupid. f*ck are you...

Uh, get off... Get out of here. You better run.

♪ ♪

What the f*ck?

I know. Baby, I know. I got carried away.

But now what? What do you want to do?

You can't sell it. We got to get rid of it.

This isn't, got pulled over with a half joint in an ashtray pot.

This is Mexican cartel, 60 years in the federal slammer pot.

Wait, wait. What are you talking about? Destroy it?

Kevin, there's a couple of tons of weed down here, and I'm black.

Well, what about the electric bill?

We'll figure something out, dip into our savings, but this?

This sh1t's got to be mulch by tomorrow.


(Door opens)


Frank, where have you been?

I've been worried sick.

You didn't come home for dinner.

I have done everything I can think of, and I still didn't make enough money today.


Well, I, I have $80 in my purse.

No, that's, that's not-- Well, sure.

I think I might have really screwed up this time.

Man (Over tv): It's been crazy exciting to see these cubs following their mom like this.

(Liam laughing)

The marsh pride nursery has been so cool to watch this week.

These cubs are five weeks old now and ready to rock off to a new den.


No Liam.

Frank didn't bring him back?

(Pounding on door)

Fiona: Where the hell is he?



Sheila: Frank! Frank!

Where's Liam?

(Frank groans)



Where is Liam?

He's at his first sleepover.

He's two!

They sleep a lot at that age.

Which way?

This one?

Baby: Who the f*ck are you?

We want Liam back.

Liam stays.

He's collateral.

Then you better start shooting.

Hey, good to see you. Man, shut the f*ck up.

How much is that?

I don't know, but we're good for it.

Gallaghers pay their debts.

Now, where the hell is our brother?


Okay, home sweet home.

Lip: Good night, buddy, love you. Love you, bud.

I'm sorry, Fiona.

It's not your fault.

Get some sleep, okay?

I didn't mean for that to...

It was a joke, you know?

I was in the bar, I made this stupid...

I tried to make enough that I...

♪ ♪

(Bells jingle)

Ian. Oh, yeah.

Yo, Freddie, what you got today, aluminum or plastic?

Linda: Ian, tell Kash to get his ass up here. I need him.

Now, Ian.

Don't worry about it.

Hey, Kash, Linda's looking for you.


Can you do me a favor, Ian?

Can you give me a bit of a head start?

You're leaving?

Linda's got preeclampsia.

The ob wants her in bed for the rest of her pregnancy.

I can't do it.

An hour, two, please.

What do I tell your kids?

Been to bed yet?

You're not going to believe the night I had.


Kids up yet?

Think I may need some field hands.

We handed over all the cash that we'd made so far this summer and we still owe him, like, six grand.

That's the money that we count on to get us through the winter.

Well, what was it, some kind of bet?

Oh, ten grand, you believe that?

Now we'll be lucky if we can bank enough to get us to Christmas.

Lip: Yeah, hey, V, can we at least save some for the ice cream truck, you know, keep it stocked all summer?

How much is that? One bag should do it.

All right, but less than an ounce on the truck at one time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

Sure, take a bag.

It's the least we can do to thank you for your hard work.

No, no, not you, Johnny appleseed.

(Veronica speaking indistinctly)

Carl, stop pushing.


And don't bite.

Hold it...

Babe, you got it?

(Indistinct chatter)

All right, that it?

So they don't fall.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Peace. Thank you.

Debbie: Bye, Veronica.

Bye, baby, I'll see you later, okay?

All right, so now what?

To the dump, I guess.

Seems like such a waste. You got any better ideas?

You looking for Karen?

Yeah, I am.

She went to the store.

You Lip? Mm-hmm.


Nice shirt.

(Hip-hop playing, baby speaking indistinctly)

Should about do it.


Well, good afternoon, sleepyhead.

Where's breakfast?

Oh, it's way too late for breakfast.

You even missed lunch.

I'm not a short-order cook, sweetie.

So... I'm off for my walk.

108 steps today is the goal.

I might even make it to the mailbox.

There's lucky charms in the pantry and milk in the fridge.

Okay, bye.

(Door closes)


Tony: Great looking tomatoes.

Heirlooms? Yes, they are, cherokee purples.

Hope I can talk you out of a couple when they're ripe. Ethel: Of course.

It's all in the compost.

I can give you some worms to get you started.

Really? That'd be great.

I was thinking I should start a garden. You should.

I'll go change, grab a shovel.

Hey, Tony.

Five minutes, 23 seconds?

Be happy with anything under six.

On your mark, get set.


♪ ♪


♪ Well, there's no place I'd rather be... ♪


♪ ♪
♪ summer's almost gone ♪
♪ but we still keep on hangin' on ♪
♪ waitin' for the sun to rise ♪
♪ to see the look in your eyes ♪
♪ well, there's no place I'd rather be ♪
♪ there's no place I'd rather be ♪
♪ there's no place ♪
♪ I'd rather be. ♪