02x10 - A Great Cause

[bunniefuu]

♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪
♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪
♪ You were beaming once before ♪
♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ What is this downside ♪
♪ That you speak of? ♪
♪ What is this feeling ♪
♪ You're so sure of? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Round up the friends you got ♪
♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪
♪ You were willing once before ♪
♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ What is this downside ♪
♪ That you speak of? ♪
♪ What is this feeling ♪
♪ You're so... ♪
♪ sure of? ♪

(muffled grunting)

Be quiet.

What the hell?

Shh!

(sighs)

Get up.

Get up.

It's 1:00 a.m.

Come on. Hop to it.

(footfalls on stairs)

Carl's awake.

I'll get Debbie.

Come on.

Is that our Halloween candy?

Who wants candy corn?

Me.

Movie night.

We have school in the morning.

Paranormal Activity 3.

Right?

My buddy Edgar sh*t this at the AMC.

(gasps)

Ooh.

It's rated "R."

For "really f*cking scary."

So sit there and learn.

I'm gonna get Fiona.

She wouldn't like this movie.

This is gonna be our little secret.

Hmm.

(grunting) Die.

Ooh.

Don't go there.

(all scream)

(all laugh)

I'd trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep.

You're gonna be late for school.

Hey, I hope you're hungry-- most important meal of the day.

Carl, sit.

House could use a spring clean.

It's November.

It's like Dawn of the Dead in here.

What's with you guys?

Debbie, can you get your father up?

He's out in the alley by the Chopiaks' garbage cans.

Help him to bed.

(groans)

Ian left for work early.

Did you hear, I kicked Terry Milkovich's ass?

Not the first time someone's come in here fists first.

Why don't you go for a run?

When's the last time you did that?

Got too much to do.

Like?

Uh, make lunches, get Liam dressed, take him for his checkup.

Made lunches already.

I'm here.

Doesn't all have to fall on you.

I'm doing better, I promise.

Carl.

(growling): Carl Gallagher.

(laughs)

Okay, if you're not going to eat, I want your teeth brushed in two minutes.

Come on, wear this.

You Febreze it first?

Washed it last night.

Why don't you go for a run?

(smacks)

I remember when you used to run six miles before school every morning.

(ringtone playing)

She did.

(laughs)

Steve, is Lip okay?

Got great news. Can I come over?

No.

I'm right outside the house.

Of course you are.

My wife is in love with another guy.

Congratulations?

Marco.

I'm importing him to the States, I'm gonna surprise her.

Yeah, what's her dad got to say about it?

Nothing can stand in the way of true love.

He finds out, you're going to be Hoffa'd.

He'll remain blissfully in the dark down in Rio.

Can I come in?

'Cause we got nothing else to work out.

Like what?

Like you still being married and harboring my brother?

He's a truant, not a t*rror1st.

Come on, Dad.

STEVE: Morning, Debs.

Bring any coffee?

STEVE: - Hmm, sorry.

Step up.

(door opens, Steve sniffs)

Wife's boyfriend ain't here yet.

So when he gets in, so do I?

Deal.

Don't make plans tonight.

I'm picking him up right now.

I never said "Deal."

(engine starts)

All right, Mandy, third try.

Look, I'm really bad at taking hints, so I'll hit double digits if you don't call me back.

Look, I need you to get your dad to back off.

(knocking)

Coming!

(door opens)

Package.

Signed for it.

Oh, oh, y-you don't have to get my mail.

Oh, i-i-it's the body pillow.

I, I, I ordered it for Karen.

(sniffs)

Butane?

Crème brûlée.

Father Pete's bringing a guest over.

Hospice?

Poor guy's been living in the church basement.

You, uh... need a hand bringing the bed down?

Oh, no, no, no. I can, I can do it.

I can help.

No, no, no, no, no.

(sighs)

f*ck.

Hey.

The skinheads again?

Mandy's dad heard the news.

You and Mickey?

Mandy-- pregnant.

Oh.

Well, congratulations.

I didn't know you switched teams.

Yeah.

Or was it just a late night-- stuck it in the wrong Milkovich?

He told Linda he's gonna put my feet in that meat slicer, work his way up.

Linda call the cops?

Think she wants the place firebombed?

Huh.

Mandy say whose it is?

Won't call me back.

Try checking the school.

Yeah, Linda assured me that if I leave the place how it is, then I'm gonna be out of a job, and anyway, she's not going to be there.

She usually goes into hiding until her dad cools off.

Spider hole in Tikrit?

Relatives on South Justine.

Went by, but her aunt wouldn't let me in.

How's the homeless shelter?

On the 14th floor of the Ritz, so not bad.

Staying with Steve.

Great view.

Skyline?

That, too.

Ah, right, Steve's wife.

Surprised you can still lift that arm.

That's gonna come out of my pay.

Relax.

Got to go meet Steve.

Try not to knock up any more chicks while I'm gone, all right?

(door opens, bell jingling)

(door closes, bell jingling)

Steve's flying in the wife's boyfriend?

Can't say he hasn't been working his elfin ass off, trying to win you back.

Holy sh*t, bury the lead.

Something you want to tell me?

My morning ritual-- get mounted by Kev, pee on a stick.

He won't leave for work without it.

Weeks now.

Jesus, these things are expensive.

Tell me about it.

Thought anything involving his d*ck and my honeypot would be the easy part.

You worried?

Thought Kev had defective balls, but he got it checked out.

Little swimmers could qualify for the Junior Olympics.

When was the last time you spread 'em?

For a doctor?

Been forever.

Couldn't be me.

I've had so many abortions, the next one's free.

Isn't there a neglected child that needs you somewhere?

Thinking about taking the day off.

Who's running the asylum?

Monica.

Seems like she's doing better.

Taking her meds?

She says so.

I know it's not gonna last, but maybe I can get a few good months before she crashes.

You should go see Meg.

Down at the club?

Didn't she say she had something for you-- a regular job?

Yeah.

That lady doctor still at the clinic-- Sausage Fingers?

(grunts) Liam, you did such a great job with your... sh*t.

What did I promise?

Brave boys...

(coos)

...get a sucker.

(giggles) Frank!

I'm back!

You up?

How about pancakes?

Hungry?

"Squirrel fund"?

Hello...

(laughs)

Frank.

I don't give a sh*t what you make for breakfast.

(groaning): Ow!

What the f*ck, Monica!

What? Where the hell did you get all that?

I found it.

Thinking we could pay a visit to Raoul.

Snort or swallow?

Both!

(Frank moaning)

Oh, nine, four, three-eight...

So, when was Marco supposed to arrive?

Should be here by now.

Oh, nine, four, three, eight, four... four, one, six.

There's got to be an easier way to smuggle him in.

A billion Chinese can't be wrong.

(sighs) Man, how long is this gonna take?

Really? Is there somewhere you need to be?

Yeah, Ian's in some trouble.

Here. Thought you wanted this.

Quickest grand you ever made.

What's that, for the phone hacking?

Oh, buyer was thrilled, said you should moonlight for the NSA.

Use it as a down payment on your own place.

Why do that when I could have a rich father-in-law to leech off of like you?

Seriously, you want to be on your own, you got to start saving.

Ricky, there's no more containers in this aisle.

10,000 easy get lost at sea every year.

Well, is it possible the container could have got put in a different lane?

Let me see that?

(phone ringing through)

Yo, Steve, you sure these are fours?

They look like nines. (beep)

Yo, Marco, bit of a problem.

Uh, you want to call me back when you get this?

Marco! Marco!

Yo, Marco!

Marco!

(knocking) Marco!

Marco!

f*cking Raoul.

12 hundred dollars for an ounce of coke.

For his shitty coke?

Yeah.

It's like Drano going up your nose.

Offered it for $1,150 if I blew him.

What else... What else did you get?

(gasps)

Oh.

Wheels?

(horn honks, Monica laughs) FRANK: It took six security guards to kick us out of there.

It took three just to climb over the rail and get you away from that zebra.

I thought it was a unicorn.

I swear, I saw a... What were we on?

Hit me.

Oxy or... Bennie?

Bennie.

Bennie?

There you go.

Why anyone would go to the zoo sober...

Hey.

MONICA: You having fun back there?

Where's the Special K?

I skipped it.

Skipped... Why?

If I wanted to feel dead, I would take my meds.

It was the one thing I asked for!

You selfish bitch!

God...

(groans)

Stop the car!

You're f*cking driving!

Get out!

No!

Then I'm f*cking getting out!

This is just like you!

Excuse me for f*cking sharing!

Always your conditions!

I had to deal with Raoul.

Oh, there it is.

Trying to cut my nuts off.

No! Don't you talk about cutting!

Not my fault your parents did a number on you.

Oh, like the psychotic bitch who raised you was Mother of the Year!

May that psychotic bitch rest in peace!

f*ck you!

Oh, yeah? Well... f*ck you!

(train horn blaring)

Wait. Where you going?

Monica?

Monica?! f*ck! Christ!

(gate creaks open)

(sighs)

WOMAN: Get the f*ck back, Terry.

I've got a shotgun!

Not Terry.

f*ck you want?

Hi. I'm-I'm...

I'm Lip, Mandy's friend.

Mandy ain't here.

Oh, yeah.

I-I need to talk to her.

No visitors.

Could you just go inside and tell her it's me?

Could you step back before I spray your organs all over my g*dd*mn yard?

(g*n cocking)

Now, f*ck off!

(train rattling and chugging)

Mandy?

Look, you got to call your dad off, all right?

Get him to leave Ian alone!

Just.

Tell him the truth, you know, even if it mine.

If your dad needs to k*ll someone, tell him he can come after me!

I thought you had kids to take care of.

The situation changed.

Oh, I wish it had changed before I hired someone else.

Got to give them the spiel. Hey, no nips, no lips, no handies. This isn't a strip club.

You still opening that new place?

Belle Epoque. More Gucci, less Axe Body Spray.

Is there anything for me there?

I wish.

I can do more than waitress. I've bartended.

We're staffed up.

Completely?

Just need someone to run the upper bar.

Well, I can do that.

Looking for someone who can promote a night.

Well, I'm getting my GED.

Look, no one's gonna pay 1,000 bucks for a $20 bottle of vodka unless the service is impeccable.

You ever managed? Overseen inventory, budgeting?

Look, I got too much on my plate to baby-sit.

Sorry.

Worth a sh*t.

Thanks.

(school bell ringing)

♪ ♪

Deb? Debbie?

(horn honking)

Hi. How was school today?

(giggling)

Who'd you steal it from?

We bought it.

Come on, get in!

Now!

Come on! (laughs)

Where's Frank?

Do you want to go shopping?

Oh, pretty girls day out!

Sure. Come on, let's go.

(tires squeal) Whoa!

I got it.

(laughs)

(horns honking)

(men shouting in Spanish)

Come on!

(men laughing derisively, shouting in Spanish)

f*cking NAFTA!

(speaking Portuguese) Ah...

No.

(speaking Portuguese)

No. No.

(speaking Portuguese)

No.

(speaking Portuguese)

Ooh!

(giggling, dog barking)

(speaking Portuguese)

(whispers): Marco?

MARCO: Where the f*ck am I?!

I've been trying to reach you.

Take small breaths.

Have anydea where you are? Can you hear anything?

I'm trying my best, Marco.

Okay? Ration your food, like those Chilean miners.

Only needed a couple bites of tuna a day to survive.

(speaking Portuguese)

Hey, beautiful.

Don't pass that one up right there.

Do a twirl.

STEVE: No.

Hello. Marco?

Hey.

Oh.

(screams, speaks Portuguese) Surprise.

(speaking Portuguese)

Sheila, Ruben.

Oh.

Got sh*t by his pimp.

Ooh.

Infection in his spine.

Oh.

Hi.

Oh, he can't hear you.

Oh.

Deaf since birth.

Says that's why he started sucking a cr*ck pipe.

I'm proud to say young Ruben's come to see the Lord does not accept excuses in exchange for first-class transportation upstairs.

Been clean a year now.

Father, just a moment, please?

Of course.

He came to us three years ago during one of our winter nights for the homeless.

Yeah. - Hung on a lot longer than any of us expected.

Saints be praised.

No, that wasn't what I...

Weust can't afford to keep him any longer.

Oh.

State cutbacks.

You'll receive $50 a day for food and whatever else he needs, but let's just say, I'm not going to be making any surprise visits.

(whispering): Father, I've...

I've... done a terrible thing.

I don't... recognize myself anymore.

When I look in the mirror, it's like another... person is staring back at me, and I'm...

I'm just...

I'm lost.

Your purpose in life was to build a happy family, and you achieved that.

And now, your husband's passed, and your daughter's ready to fly the nest, but you're still needed.

This is your purpose now.

(loudly): Hi, Ruben.

I'm Sheila.

(garbled utterance)

Okay, great.

Yeah, this will be great.

Hey, sweetheart, is everything okay?

Mandy's dad came looking for me at school.

Are you all right?

Managed to duck out before he saw me.

What's with the dolls?

Took Debbie shopping; I missed her last birthday.

And we couldn't decide which doll to get, so we got them all!

DEBBIE: I'll get the other load. There's more?

(whispering): Didn't have the heart to tell her, I don't play with dolls anymore.

She practically filled the car.

Car?

You bought a car?

Hey, how was your trigonometry midterm?

C-minus.

Great, you passed!

I can kiss West Point good-bye.

West Point?

I was hoping to get in, not that I'll live long enough now to go.

(sighs)

Well, if you know you want to be in the Army, why are you wasting your time with school?

Join up.

What are we waiting for?

Happy birthday.

Come on, let's go.

(door closes)

(sighs)

STEVE: The ship's called the Bonita.

It's based out of Mexico.

Lip?

Yup?

Focus.

I am focusing on the nude woman getting a spray tan in your bedroom.

She's trying to lose her tan lines before Marco gets here.

It's a noble endeavor I fully endorse.

And a complete waste of time if we do not track down Marco's ship and find out where he is; he is calling me in four hours.

I need to give him good news.

What, you didn't telt her we lost him?

No.

Well, it would be a shame if he didn't make it, but, you know, naturally, I'd step up, be there to comfort her.

All right, cut the sh*t, Lip; I lose Marco, I lose Fiona.

Okay, okay, okay.

Um...

All right, so the ship should be stopping to pick up extra cargo.

Where is it?

Uh, be in Cleveland tonight. Cleveland! Cleveland?

Yeah, so take him to the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, but now, do me a favor, get the f*ck out of my way?

Thank you.

(g*ns f*ring on video game)

RECRUITER: Ever been outside of Chicago?

Army sent me all over the world.

I ate a croissant outside the Eiffel Tower and pizza in Rome.

So the other branches are here, too, huh?

Yes, ma'am.

And we'll train you, too, so when you finish your service, you can secure a good-paying job back home.

So, what're they playing? That looks fun.

(g*nf*re)

America's Army 3.

We could use more bright, young men like you.

How soon can I ship out?

Okay.

So, U.S. citizen, right?

Ever been convicted of a crime? IAN: - Uh, no, sir.

What year you graduate?

I'm a junior.

In high school?

Gonna have to come and see me when you got your diploma.

What?

You're turning him down?

He needs to be a high school graduate.

Why?

The rules, ma'am, I'm sorry.

f*ck the rules. Sign him up.

Ma'am, I'm sorry, but it's really....

He wants to serve his country!

Finish school.

Let's stay in touch.

Since when do you have to know trigonometry to get k*lled for your country?

You gonna send him out to do multiplication or k*ll towel heads?

All right, Mom...

Geez, no wonder you can't win a f*cking w*r.

IAN: - All right, thanks for your time.

Because of sh*t heads like you that we're all gonna be eating egg rolls and speaking slant-eye.

Army too chicken sh*t?

f*ck you! We're going to the Navy.

(door opening)

Veronica, I got 20 minutes left in my break.

That should give us enough time to go three times, easy.

I just ate.

Mmm, that's okay. I'll do all the work.

Maybe later.

Oh, come on, the best part about making a baby is, you get to have sex while we're doing it.

Not likely.

What're you talking about?

Making a baby.

Baby, I told you, the ball doctor said we're good to go.

Talking about me.

Went to the clinic today.

Said me having kids--

"not likely."

PID.

Is that bad?

Bad enough.

It's gonna be okay, baby.

Never really wanted them anyway.

What? What do you mean?

I like things the way they are. Why change?

It's what we wanted.

Not what I wanted.

We talked about it.

I was just telling you what you wanted to hear.

Oh, so you were lying?

You calling me a liar?

Maybe if you lied about it.

Maybe you were too busy thinking about what you wanted.

Oh, so now you're calling me selfish?

You know what, congratulations.

You just got everything you wanted all along.

f*ck, that hurt!

EVAN: All right, GED practice test next week, and remember knives count as weapons, so please leave them at home.

I'm looking at you, Miguel and Shontasia.

Who? Me?

Hi.

Fiona Gallagher, uh...

Mm-hmm.

Wondering if there's anything more I should be doing.

Only the second class.

Anything I could be studying at home?

Why'd you drop out of high school?

I didn't have time.

Mm-hmm?

Family thing.

What are you going to do with your GED?

I was tossing around the idea of club restaurant managment, but I found out I'm under qualified.

I'm afraid the GED only takes you so far nowadays.

Didn't mention that in your opening remarks.

They encourage us not to.

Guess I need to aim a little lower.

Massage therapist?

You're here because there's a gap in your education, not your intelligence.

You live near Daley College?

The JC?

They offer a range of business courses.

They have scholarships, financial aid.

You can take classes while holding down a full-time job.

You have the time now?

I might, yeah.

Don't have to aim low.

You're only my second patient.

My first one d*ed.

So, one for one.

(wet coughing)

Aw.

Do you, um...

Do you want me to... to... end your suffering?

You want me to...

You st say the word, and I'll...

(muffled groaning)

(gurgling)

Yes? Was that a yes?

Yeah, it was just hard to hear.

Maybe if you plug the hole with your finger?

(gurgling, whistling)

Okay, bit of a whistle.

Maybe try the thumb.

(yelling)

Hungry?

Oh, yes!

I have something special.

Yes, you just wait right there.

Um, hey!

Look what I have.

Crème brûlée.

Would you like some?

Okay.

Let's see.

If I put this in your mouth, is it just gonna spill out that hole?

Monica!

I'm in here.

I'm replacing the shelf paper.

It's gonna look great in here.

What?

Want to apologize?

For what?

For leaving me in f*cking Indiana somewhere!

I should've hit you with the car.

Walked ten, 15 miles.

You must be tired.

Froze my ass off.

How about a bath?

I'll run you a bath.

And then after, we can do what we do best.

We don't have an eight ball.

Not that.

Sex?

A kid.

Oh, Frank.

Let's do it; who are we to deny the world another shining Gallagher star?

We had one kid on coke.

Debbie.

It was Carl.

No, Carl was E.

Thought Liam was E.

Liam was acid.

Don't you remember?

Yeah.

Christmas Eve, I got it from that bail-bond guy?

We had our own rave.

Till the kids came downstairs asking for f*cking gifts.

But we've never made a little rug rat on GHB.

Aw...

Yeah.

Yeah, let's do it.

Not in my room.

(knocking)

Need to get sh*t-faced; don't want to do it alone.

I'll pour, you talk.

(ringtone playing)

I'll get the cups.

(scoffs) What do you want?

I have to cancel our date.

What date?

I'm sorry.

Just keep tomorrow night free, okay?

I-I got to go.

You find the ship?

Thank you.

STEVE: There's nothing on it.

WORKER: I guess they unloaded it already.

Where are the containers?

How the f*ck should I know?

(quietly): f*ck.

(entrance bell jingling)

Easy. f*ck.

(bell jingles) Is that Linda's?

It already sh*t one Milkovich.

Look, I think I got a way we can get rid of Mandy's dad.

Don't even have to fire a b*llet.

He's on parole, right?

Kidnapping and grand theft auto.

All right, so what do you think the cops would do if they found one of those in his house?

Linda will know if we took it.

Grammy's 9mm?

He could get six years.

Yeah, or life.

Serial numbers aren't scratched off.

g*n's bound to have racked up a body count.

All we have to do is plant it.

I got nothing to lose.

Bombed the trig midterm.

How bad?

I tried to enlist.

What?

Monica took me.

Figured Mandy's dad couldn't k*ll me in Kabul.

Yeah, well, there's plenty of f*cking Muslims who could.

Well, they all turned me down.

The Army, the Navy, Marines, Air Force.

Still got the Coast Guard.

It's my f*cking funeral.

Look, just... lay low until tomorrow morning, okay?

Don't forget the g*n.

(bell jingling)

On top of managing the upstairs bar, I could've gotten my own night to promote.

Why are we talking about a job you didn't get?

I really wanted it. - Don't spend time thinking about things you can't have.

Doctor didn't say it was impossible.

Close to it.

Since when do you take no for an answer?

Since when do you?

(tambourine and bongos playing)

♪ How can I just let you walk away? ♪
♪ Just let you leave without a trace ♪
♪ When I stand here taking every breath ♪
♪ With you, ooh. ♪

(thunder cracks)

Sheila, you're the only one who really knew me at all.

Wake up, baby, come on, Mommy needs your help.

Where is Ian?

Come on, it's going to be fun.

Debbie, don't forget your father.

(door closes)

Thanks for letting me talk your ear off last night, Fi.

I'll tell her when she gets back.

Where the hell did she go this early?

♪ ♪

Hey, he's still in there.

They leave a key anywhere?

Door's unlocked.

Who would be crazy enough to break in?

Right.

You bring Grammy's g*n?

Remember to wipe your prints off.

There he is.

Where should we plant it?

Maybe beside all the others.

Jesus.

It's like bringing a joint to a cr*ck house.

(door opens)

What the f*ck?

Huh?!

Gonna f*cking waste your Peter Pan ass.

Put it down.

What the f*ck you doing?

Let him go.

The little sh*t broke in.

Wait, he's not the dad.

He knows.

The f*ck I do.

I told you whose it is.

Let him go, Dad. This is between us.

(sighs)

Your dad?

Another word and I'll blow your brains all over the f*cking linoleum.

What are you doing down here?

I didn't want to sleep in our bed without you.

Your eyes are red.

I couldn't sleep.

You?

I'll go first.

No, me.

I called you a liar.

Only 'cause I am.

Said I didn't want kids.

I did.

Yeah.

You know, there are lots of kids who need a home.

f*cked up foster kids like me?

Exactly.

We could build up our own army like Wesley Snipes, take over the neighborhood.

(sighs)

You know, no one said that we have to stop trying.

Oh...

(chuckles)

Come here.

Whoo!

(laughing)

(horn honking)

I am going to slit your throat with a m*therf*cking can opener!

I have no food.

My f*cking phone is dying, man.

I am trying to find you!

(shouting in Portuguese)

Estefania, please!

You were on your way to a Costco in Georgia but got rerouted.

I don't care, man, don't f*cking care.

Listen, I just finish an hour conversation with my brother, and he's dead 12 years.

(shouting in Portuguese)

Get me out of here!

Will you give it a rest?!

Hello?

(speaks Portuguese)

f*ck!

(screams)

You-- dead man.

(exhales)

What are you doing?

What does it look like? I'm steam-cleaning the rug.

I rented it from Jewel-Osco.

When's the last time you think this has been cleaned?

How many miles did you run?

Uh, four.

You'll be up to six in no time.

Yeah, take a shower while there's still hot water.

Hey, Carl.

Carl?

Hey, just want a second with Mandy, okay?

Will you need this?

I'll see you later.

Yep.

(door closes)

So...

When'd you get home?

Last night.

Hmm.

He drinks and mistakes me for Mom.

Only once in a while.

Not like it's a big deal.

Watch the f*cking look on your face.

A Gallagher looking down on me-- I don't think so.

Why'd he think it was me?

He blacks out... forgets.

Lip better keep his mouth shut.

He will.

I just wish the whole thing would go away.

We can make it.

You got $600 lying around?

We can raise it.

The money, not the baby.

You'd do that?

You're my girlfriend.

(changing TV channels)

Anthony Bourdain?

Sanjay Gupta.

Nancy Grace!

There's got to be a missing white girl somewhere.

Oh, Ruben, I'm trying.

No?

You don't want TV, you don't eat.

Do you have a wish before you go, anything I can get you?

Yeah?

Oh, oh, I don't, I-I'm not sure what you mean.

Oh...

Milk, eggs.

SHEILA: Aw.

Hey, bro.

He can't hear you.

Is it getting cold out there?

Could use a shower.

Oh, uh, that's not a good idea.

Hey, I...

Uh, okay, I'll tell her.

So I spent the last few months learning baby sign language.

He says he hates crème brûlée.

(blows raspberry)

Gives him the runs.

Oh, I noticed that.

Is there anything he does like?

Uh, what do you want to eat?

Know how to make cake?

Strawberry shortcake.

Strawberry shortcake?

SHEILA: Oh.

No, he says, "f*ck that."

Vanilla cake with a shitload of Grand Marnier.

Hey, you need to watch your language, bro.

Uh, there's one more thing before he kicks it.

Uh...

(mouthing): Want to f*ck.

Hey, out of line, bro!

That's a lady right there.

SHEILA: What'd he say?

He's sorry.

He'll settle for something else.

Oh.

(music playing)

Put everything but the Cristal in the cooler.

I want the job.

Fiona...

You asked if I've managed before.

Yeah, a houseful of kids.

Taught me how to smack with one hand while giving a pat on the back with the other.

Inventory, budgeting.

Go grocery shopping for a family of six with what's in my pocket, then let's talk.

At some point, somebody saw that you were more than a cage dancer and they took a chance on you.

(sighs)

(sighs)

I can do this.

I got a pre-opening event tonight.

Things move fast, got to keep up.

I will.

All right, let's give it a sh*t.

That's what managers wear.

Pick out your size. I got to go audition DJs.

I'm gonna kick ass, Meg.

All right, I'll see you at 9:00.

Okay, cool. Yeah, thanks, man.

Kev says we're all set for the Alibi.

Why do we even have to do this stupid fund-raiser? DEBBIE: - Mandy needs our help.

Got more chocolate chip cookies.

Every buck counts, right?

Who wants another batch?

Peanut butter, toffee?

Where is the tape? Can't find anything in this kitchen.

When are we moving the furniture back?

Oh, Debbie, I love your poster.

Who did you get your artistic talent from?

Who wants to sample a cookie?

FRANK: Me.

IAN: Uh, they're for the fund-raiser.

Blood sugar is dipping, trying to keep up with your mother.

She is wearing me out.

CARL: I'm done with the flyer.

Uh, it's "fund-raiser," not "fun razor."

Want 'em to show up, make 'em think someone's getting cut.

(makes cutting sound)

All right, make copies, man.

Oh, I'll take him.

Come on, you and me, Carl.

We can take the new car.

Can't get enough Carl and Mommy time.

Do you need some new clothes?

We could stop at JCPenney.

I can drive.

Do you have a license?

(sighs) Mom's never going to shampoo the rug, is she?

(Estefania shouting in Portuguese)

STEVE: Will you calm down, okay?

Just will you sit down and take a seat?

Okay, if I hear what you were saying, I'm sure that it's great, but can you see that I am trying my best?

(beeps)

You! Where have you been?!

I'm not on f*cking retainer.

(continues yelling)

Okay, Marco's disappeared.

He's on a truck somewhere, no idea where.

That's not good.

Whoa, you know Portuguese?

Yeah, it's like Italian.

She says if you don't find Marco alive, she's gonna call her father.

Okay.

I hope you're not wed to your eyes or your... tongue.

(speaking Portuguese)

Or your d*ck.

Here, hold this.

No, no, no, no, no. Who are you calling?

I got a Teamster friend in local 710.

(beep)

Yeah, yo, Tully.

I'm looking for a container one of your drivers is hauling.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, sure I can hold.

MONICA (muttering): Oh, sh*t, Carl. Carl.

Come on. Switch places.

Quick. Quick.

(Monica muttering indistinctly)

(engine sputtering)

(quietly) Hi.

You're supposed to have your seatbelt on.

Think these'll match?

Mm-hmm.

What are you looking up?

Nothing.

It's my computer.

You don't know how to do private browsing.

I'll check the history later.

Richard Daley College?

Just seeing what's out there.

You got to get Lip back in high school first before you got any sh*t of getting him to college.

Actually, it's for me.

I pass my GED next month, I can enroll for January.

I could fit in two classes a day before I'd have to be at the club.

Study up on marketing, I could be promoting my own night before the end of the semester.

Good for you, Fi.

Why didn't you just say so?

I thought you was looking at Kev d*ck pics.

OFFICER: Hey, Gallagher.

Seen Fiona? I've been looking for her.

Why, what's up?

Your mom's down at the station.

Bring bail money.

Dying wish.

How are we gonna feed it to him?

Oh.

(yelling)

Think he wants another hit.

He worked so hard to get clean.

Sometimes it's not worth holding out.

Life's too short.

Why not just give in?

(whirring)

Christ.

I'm not here for your stash.

I need bail money.

I only have a grand.

You have a grand?

(panting)

Where's the Squirrel Fund?

What the hell is a Squirrel Fund?

Empty your f*cking pockets.

You talk to your father that way?

(wry chuckle)

Get the f*cking key and get me out of here!

I want my phone call!

Get my lawyer, Rodney King your asses.

Your brother was driving.

He got a nasty bump, but he'll be fine.

I told my captain your mom was driving under the influence.

You feel powerful locking me up?

She's not making it easy.

MONICA: I'm not invisible!

Hey, buddy, you doing okay?

Do you hear me?

I'm right here.

I'm right here. Here!

What the f*ck is this?

IAN: We're raising money.

For Mandy.

$25, all the well drinks you want.

Hey, guys, you got ten minutes to sign up for the pool tournament, five dollar entry fee; bragging rights are at stake.

Hey, thanks for all your help, Kev.

Yeah, too many Gallaghers in the world already.

Lip, now you?

Instead of passing rubbers out at schools, they should be passing them out at your house.

Hey, Debbie. Cookies?

Oh.

We have dollar a cookie, buck 50 a brownie, 70 for the g*n.

Oh, hey, how'd you get so many people here?

Told them the proceeds go to a great cause.

It's for a church retreat.

Kids with cleft palates.

Here.

The NRA.

The resistance against the Zionist occupation.

Hmm.

(tires screeching)

Hey, wow, you look great.

Where's Pele?

Florida, sunshine state.

Heading to the airport, just wanted to stop by and ask for another rain check.

Rain check?

(horn honking) Yeah.

Tomorrow I'm all yours, okay?

Who says I want you?

(door closes)

(groans)

Where the f*ck have you been?

Oh, what, you back for good or just visiting?

Just bailed Monica out of jail.

What? Why?

Cops and their f*cking quotas, why do you think?

She let Carl play bumper cars with a Buick.

Is he okay?

"Is he okay?"

What about your mother?

She birthed your ungrateful asses.

I'm late for a meeting.

They said Carl's gonna be fine, but it's hard to tell because he's normally concussed more than he isn't.

Well, (door closes) don't let him fall asleep.

What, you're AWOL this whole time, now you're giving orders?

I was around.

Really?

So you know Monica spent all the Squirrel Fund money?

You know what, I wouldn't have even had the cash to bail her out if I didn't return a bunch of dolls I found in Debbie's room!

The first rule you learn in this house, you hide the g*dd*mn money.

She seemed better.

Look at this place.

The sofa is in the kitchen.

For f*ck's sake, she tried to get Ian to enlist.

She what?

What did you think was gonna happen, Fiona?

Thought it might be different this time.

Hm, well, how'd that Kool-Aid taste going down?

Where is she?

You could've gotten Carl k*lled!

You tried to get Ian into the army?!

(sniffles)

You promised me.

Get out of bed!

Get out of bed, Mom!

(screaming and crying)

(sighs)

(sighs)

MARCO: Get me out of here! Please!

(banging)

(screaming)

Help!