03x11 - Order Room Service

[bunniefuu]

[Drunk] This is what you... (Indistinct) last (Indistinct)...

I'm thinking about going back to medical school.

Dr. Jimmy, huh?

We're celebrating Fiona's impending marriage to a doctor.

Oh, wow. Really?

You can come with me.

To Michigan?

Good luck convincing her to move.

Fiona?

Estefania, dammit, your wife.

A man has few things of real value in this life.

His family. The value of his word.

Are you a man of your word?

You don't live here anymore.

You still someone I can trust?

Mickey getting married. Does that make sense to you?

She works at Garden Spring Spa, if you call jerking off random dudes "working."

Terry made Mickey f*ck her to f*ck the gay out of 'em.

I know what he felt with me.

You can't fake that.

What'd you hit?

Girl at school.

I wasn't very nice to Karen.

She was so happy when she got that text from you.

Text?

The night of the accident when she came to meet you.

You're taking Mandy for granted.

She's kind. She's devoted.

She's not someone whose feelings you can ignore.

Should we be planning for the worst?

I've seen miracles. They do happen.

Keep engaging her.

Let her know you're here.

You're a prince, Jody.

I think that you're her prince.

I took her prince.

She believed in the kiss of true love.

[Gasps]

[High Strung's The Luck You Got]

♪ ♪
♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪
♪ know that it's not for naught ♪
♪ You were beaming once before ♪
♪ but it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ What is this downside ♪
♪ that you speak of? ♪
♪ What is this feeling ♪
♪ you're so sure of? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Round up the friends you got ♪
♪ know that they're not for naught ♪
♪ You were willing once before ♪
♪ but it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ What is this downside ♪
♪ that you speak of? ♪
♪ What is this feeling ♪
♪ you're so sure of? ♪

[Inhales, groans]

Oh, Jesus.

You look like a baby rabbit when you sleep.

Exactly what every man wants to hear first thing in the morning.

[Laughs]

You awake long?

A while.

This whole Ann Arbor thing-- we can make it work.

Been doing some research.

Worldwide Cup has an office in Canton only 18 miles from campus.

Wow.

I know, right?

I'm gonna see if they need help.

And the public schools there are a hell of a lot better.

I called a couple.

They actually answered the phone.

They said that Debbie and Carl could transfer mid-year.

They're so nice about it.

I just don't want the kids resenting me for making them leave their friends at school.

What friends? Lip's graduating.

I'm not sure what to do about Ian yet, but I'll ask him when he's feeling better.

And the house?

Sublet it, maybe.

I don't know yet.

Wow. I mean, you've really turned a corner.

[Chuckles] Yeah.

Morning.

Mm.

You never came to bed last night.

Yeah, no, sorry, I got sucked into, um...

Zambian women's boxing.

Muscular women make me feel funny.

Sounds hot.

Can you hurry up and get ready?

I want to get to school early.

Gonna swipe some bags of tater tots from the cafeteria for Mickey's wedding.

Okay, I'll be right up.

Late start this morning, guys.

Sorry, you're on your own.

Oh, thanks, Debs.

We're out of peanut butter.

Is Ian staying home from school again today?

Yes, he is. His stomach is still messed up.

Any more pop tarts left?

Carl finished them.

He ate three.

I'm a growing boy.

"Little Broski" took a big-boy dump on the big-boy toilet!

Hey! Mwah!

We're gonna celebrate by walking to the store for some butt wipes.

And peanut butter and pop tarts.

And tampons. Sorry.

And make sure he wears a hat. It's getting cold.

Tampons.

Bye, family!

Bye, Fiona! Butch it up, dude.

[Growls]

Dude.

You gotta get up at some point.

I'm losing my mind. I--

I can't stop thinking about the wedding.

All right, last time I'm gonna say it.

Do yourself a favor.

Stay as far away from that car wreck as humanly possible.

Okay? It's not worth it.

Can you help me set up this afternoon at the VFW?

Uh, no, you know what? I promised I'd go to Sheila's.

You know, Karen's getting home tonight.

Gotta help set up.

I'll help.

You sure?

Yeah.

Hey, wait, dude, aren't you sick?

I don't get why Jody and Sheila can't set up Karen's sh*t by themselves.

Look, she needs a lot of stuff, okay?

She can't even walk by herself yet.

She's got frontal lobe damage.

The dude who hit her probably doesn't even have a scratch on him.

♪ I turn to stone ♪
♪ I can't go on ♪
♪ I'm so alone without you ♪
♪ it ended so ♪
♪ can't take the toll without you ♪
♪ ♪

Go away. This is my turf!

Your turf? What is this,West Side Story?

You can't own a whole train car. It's public property.

Sleeping in this car six years.

Pissed, puked, jizzed in it.

By law of bodily fluids, it's mine.

[Chuckles]

Well, I'm not moving.

Stop it!

You're a terrible homeless person.

I'm not homeless. I have a home.

Then why didn't you go there last night?

I was on my way there when I sat down here and accidentally fell asleep.

Bullshit. You look like a bum, you smell like a bum.

I'm a passenger.

Get off my lawn.

All right!

I'm going!

To my house, where I live, like a respectable human being.

I have labeled the quarterly reports from the last four years with color-coded tabs, stapled and collated.

And I've included double-sided copies for the archive.

Oh, dang, maestro.

I was wondering if you knew of any positions opening up in your Michigan office.

Uh, I could ask. You leaving us?

My boyfriend might be going to med school at U of M.

We're not sure yet.

Wow. That's terrific.

We'll be sad to see you go.

Me too.

Uh, sorry.

I don't know if you're busy this weekend, but my family has a cabin.

It's like a half an hour drive north of here.

We go every year during the fall, we camp, and toast marshmallows, and kinda drink our faces off.

Uh...

sh*t, so--

I'm doing this really, really badly.

I am totally inviting both of you and the pile of kids you brought to the softball game.

Real-- they'd have a great time. How many are there total?

Two teens, two preteens, and a toddler.

Perfect, I mean, we've got extra tents, we've got sub-zero sleeping bags, the little ones share a tent, tell ghost stories, while the adults just get blitzed by the fire.

And I mean, tons of people from work usually come.

It's great.

Sounds good.

My brothers might have a wedding, but I'll check with the rest of the g*ng.

Yeah, cool. Let me know.

Okay.

[Phone plays sheep bleating]

What's that, Liam?

Is that the world's most annoying sheep?

What's he saying?

[Imitates bleating]

[Cell phone rings]

Whoa.

Whoa, are they there now?

Who?

The INS.

No.

Then why are you calling me?

I have this stupid shoe I bought, and it break.

And I tried to call to complain, but they don't understand me.

You call, yeah?

No, Estefania, this number's for emergencies.

I'm bored, Steve.

All I do, I sit here with textbooks, go shopping, I get bad sex with horny boys with tiny pintinhos.

Okay, okay.

I will go to the store later.

Come over.

Okay, okay.

Gotta go. Here, here, here.

[Phone plays pig oinking]

What's that? What's that, Liam?

Is that a piggy? A filthy, snorting bacon machine?

[Oinks]

Wow. Can you do cows and chickens too?

Not as good as your mom.

I have your mail.

Cable, utility, rent. Your checkbook. Sign?

I have personal things for you as well.

TV guide, architectural di-- anthropologie.

Is that for girls?

I also have this.

University of Michigan enrollment notification.

Classes begin in January?

You opened my mail? That's a felony.

So you were able to convince Estefania to move?

It's-- um-- it's a work in progress. I'm working on it. Just don't--

Ah, but Fiona's aware of your plans, I assume.

You're getting careless.

Don't.

[Door opens] Hey.

Hey. Uh...

[Clears throat] bad time?

No, just putting together some baby stuff way prematurely.

[Chuckles]

What's up?

Um, I need your advice.

Well, if it's about infants, college, or tiny dicks, I'm the wrong guy.

Uh, no, it's, um-- it's about crazy. You were married to once.

Why, is Mandy going a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs?

Yeah, I think she ran over Karen with her car.

What?

I think she-- she ran over Karen with her car, and also she-- she carries this like huge stockpile of arms--

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Your current girlfriend ran over your ex-girlfriend with a car?

Signs point to yes. I mean, I--

I don't know. I don't know what she's capable of.

Dude, you're at DEFCON 1.

You need to get the f*ck outta there.

Tell me how.

Very slowly.

You need to make her think it's her idea.

Keep your distance.

Because once they get behind the wheel, there's no going back.

Okay. I mean, I'm--

I'm-- I'm gone a lot, you know?

They need a lot of help over at Karen's, so--

Whoa, whoa, Lip, wait, wait.

Does Mandy know you're going over there?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I told her--

Lip, you can't tell her that sh*t!

That's like waving the flag in front of the bull!

Well--

Hide the car keys, stop showering, and you tell her nothing.

And whatever you do, do not-- Lip.

Do not let her bone you, because that oxytocin stuff makes them adhesive.

You got it?

Yeah.

I'm not supposed to talk to you.

Fiona and Lip will be mad.

Well, of course they will.

They treat me like a leper because I'm "a bad father."

Yeah, right.

Tell you, you haven't seen bad parenting till you witness my mother in her glory days.

Had this piece of wood she called a retribution stick.

Flat side, skinny side.

If I did something small, like steal an extra cookie or piss in her shampoo bottle-- whack. Flat side.

But if I did something heinous, like set fire to her bed when she was napping, or rat her out for her garage gambling ring, the skinny side.

Like a whip.

Whack! Whack! Whack, whack, whack!

Whack! Whack!

Whack! But did I throw that bitch into the gutter when she needed a home? No.

I brushed her hair. I washed her saggy tits.

I irrigated her ulcers.

I nursed her all the way to the grave.

But you people, making me homeless in the dead of autumn?

After I got you through cancer?

I slept on a train last night!

Cool. Can I try that?

No! It's barbaric. I have no place to go!

Do you get it?

I could sneak you in the van tonight.

You'd do that for me?

You little piker, you.

You made it.

Chairs are over here, and watch out for splinters.

You know, um, Lip is still up Karen's ass.

It's getting old.

Yeah.

So, Svetlana. She like, uh--

She's quiet.

And skinny, which is weird, 'cause he usually bags fat chicks.

I do his laundry.

I apply to colleges for him, and what the hell does Karen do?

Drools and farts. I mean, come on.

Think he loves her?

She's brain-dead.

I mean Mickey.

I dunno.

Tons of guys get chicks knocked up and don't get hitched, so...

Dad's super excited. Planned the whole thing.

Invited his buds from the g*n club.

It's kind of sweet.

[Chair clatters]

[Phone playing animal sounds]

Hey, look what I stole from work.

Three cheers for Captain Cappuccino.

Take some cream with that hostility?

Oh, no, it's fine, just whisk my best friend off when I'm about to have a baby, no biggie.

Whoa, we're telling people already?

Not "people." Just V.

And Mike from work, who says he'll look into transferring me.

Oh, don't get your panties in a wad.

I know how to keep my mouth shut.

Look, I'm happy for you. I'm just sad for me.

Oh... don't worry, we'll come visit your li'l peanut once a month.

Or you could come stay with us.

[Cell phone ringing]

I found a couple four and five bedroom houses online today.

Cheaper than Chicago.

Pizza!

Come get it while it's hot!

Pizza!

Pepperoni!

How was school?

We did fractions today.

Chew your food like a human.

[Phone whinnies]

So, Mike from the office is planning this big camping trip this weekend, and we're all invited.

You wanna go?

Yeah! Can we make s'mores?

Uh-huh.

And sh**t raccoons?

No.

Interested?

Love camping in theory, except for the bugs, and the dirt, and the ground-sleeping.

But yeah, sounds great.

Mwah.

Well, caffeine addicts await.

Bye-bye, Dr. Jim.

So...

[Sighs] you guys know how Jimmy's thinking about maybe going back to med school?

Mm-hmm.

No.

Okay, well, if he does, it would be in Michigan.

He'd leave us?

Or we'd go with him.

Maybe.

To Michigan. What about school?

Well, it'll only be for a year.

And nothing's decided.

I just want you to start thinking about it.

What about Frank? We can't leave him here.

Of course we can.

But it's getting cold.

His thick layer of bullshit will keep him warm.

[Cell phone ringing]

[Laughs] Mm.

Hello?

Jimmy's not here right now. Can I take a message?

Oh, wow, where is it?

How many bathrooms?

A studio?

I will pass that on.

Who was that?

Ann Arbor Rentals.

The application Jimmy put in went through.

What's a studio?

It's a one-room apartment, Debs.

I thought you said it wasn't decided yet.

How are we all gonna fit in one room?

[Door opens]

They're here! They're here!

They're here!

They're here!

[Gasps]

Welcome home! Welcome home!

Look at you, sweet girl!

I'm gonna go grab her stuff.

Look at you. You look so much better.

Oh, my gosh, the color's back in your cheeks.

Are you happy to be home?

Yes. I--

This place is nice. I remember.

Aw...

Hi, Lip.

Hi.

I-I'm, um...

I'm sorry we didn't install the rails outside.

It's just been so wet.

Um, are you hungry? I made smoothies.

I'll get you some.

[Door opens, closes]

Here we go.

What is this?

It's a smoothie.

[Slurping]

Ahh...

I like the cold on my throat.

And the tongue-taste.

What is this?

Well, it's a smoothie.

Right.

Oh.

[Inhales]

Mm, good night.

What did Dr. Ron say about this?

She still has most of her old memories, she just can't form any new ones.

Got some pamphlets from the hospital.

Yeah, thanks.

Um, when's it go away?

Everyone's different, you know?

Could be permanent, but I say we keep hope alive.

I got family down in Sedona.

They have healing vortexes out there.

Alternative treatments and stuff.

Oh, she just got home.

We don't know what she needs yet.

She seems nicer though.

Hey.

Hey.

You left your phone at home.

You didn't have to come down here to bring it to me.

You got a weird phone call.

From who?

Some lady from a-- from a rental place.

She said your credit's been approved.

You can sign your contract on your studio whenever you want.

Seems like a tight squeeze. I mean, all of us in one room.

I filled out that application form before we talked.

There was hardly anything available on campus, and it seemed like a good opportunity.

So you put a deposit down.

I had to for them to run the credit check.

On a studio apartment.

Okay, I guess I didn't think it through.

What, have you signed up for classes already?

Technically, I'm enrolled, but it's complicated 'cause of my deferral.

Hey!

Now might be a good time for a little break-o.

So, you're going, just like that?

Like I said, nothing's final.

But you had no plans to bring us.

You've been slowly backing away all along.

Think about it.

Isn't it so much easier if I get a place over there and come home on the weekends?

I mean, why uproot the entire family?

I can't even believe this.

It's a four-hour train ride!

For one year, it's totally doable!

You made the decision without me, as if it has absolutely no effect on us.

Okay, and how is that any different from what you did when you decided to become legal guardian of those kids?

You never once considered how I'd be affected.

Those kids are my life.

No sh*t, Fiona.

And maybe if you would've asked me, I woulda said, "yes.

Let's do this together."

But you didn't.

It didn't even occur to you to ask me.

No, you have known from day one what you were getting into with me.

Right, I got sucked into your world.

I bent to your rules.

I just assumed that we'd eventually decide how to move forward together like couples do, but there never was "we!"

What have I been doing?

Cooking, cleaning, laundry, living in a g*dd*mn slum!

[Laughs]

A slum?

You made me feel like I could depend on you, and now it's a slum?

Isn't it?

I got robbed at gunpoint by a 12-year-old girl, Fiona!

Why don't you go find another f*ckin' place to sleep!

A f*cking studio!

[Whistles]

Ahh. Old cigarettes and skunk piss.

Here.

Just crusts?

That's all they had.

Well, what about breakfast?

Son...

I hope you never have to know what it's like to not have a home.

They'll get over it. At least Fiona will.

I wouldn't count on it.

That ornery bitch can hold a grudge.

People f*ck up. That's life.

Family is supposed to be forever.

Supposed to take care of you regardless of what you do.

That's the whole point, otherwise why bother?

Christ!

[Bangs head]

There are vermin in here!

I'm your family.

You're right, son. You haven't let me down.

When I was your age, my pop took me on my first heist.

We scored a hi-fi stereo, about 600 bucks.

Booked a hotel, blew all the dough on room service and p*rn.

This was back when you had to pay for it.

Man. Those were the days.

I haven't thought about that in years.

My foster gays have a lot of nice stuff.

Your foster gays?

Cassius and Lanier.

Are you suggesting... what I think you're suggesting?

What do they got? iPods, computers...

How often they there?

They work weekends.

Can you pick a lock?

I have their security code.

Is that so?

That's all right.

[Rock music]

♪ ♪
♪ Well, I can't stand still ♪
♪ you got me in a spin ♪
♪ you know, I can't stand still ♪
♪ you got me in a spin ♪
♪ you don't forget, oh, such a spin ♪
♪ the meanest shake that I could have ever been ♪
♪ you know that I'm struggling ♪
♪ to pick myself off the floor ♪
♪ you know that I'm struggling ♪

Rise and shine. We're going camping.

Pack some warm clothes, okay?

Gets cold by the lake at night.

Did you talk to Jimmy about the studio yet?

No. Let's go.

[Knocks on door]

Good morning.

Let's go. Up and at 'em.

♪ ♪

Good morning, milk dud!

Hey! Hi! We're going camping!

You want to go camping? It's so fun.

There's playing, and singing, and kids.

And there's dirt. Oh, you love dirt!

Can I do your ears, or do you still hate that?

My ears.

Where's Jody?

He's at the Wongs', picking up Hymie.

Do you remember Hymie?

I remember. The Asian mongoloid.

Actually, we can call him a ret*rd.

We've earned that right.

Do you want to spend time with him?

Yes.

Oh, that's wonderful.

He is so special.

You know, I saw this movie the other day about babies around the world.

Do you know that mothers in Africa wipe their babies' dirty bottoms on their knees?

Where's Jody?

At the Wongs'.

And then they use leaves to scrape the poop off.

I mean, why not just use the leaves in the first place?

I don't understand why they're not sick all the time over there with all that bacteria.

Bacteria.

I'm hungry.

I'll make sandwiches after this.

Where's Jody?

I understand.

[Knock on door]

Both: [Gasp]

Jody.

Aww.

It's cool, mom, I got this.

Both: [Giggle]

Okay, we ready?

I can't find the flashlights.

Check the closets.

Yeah, I did, like, three times.

Where's Carl?

Said he's not going.

He doesn't feel well.

Oh, you look like garbage.

You sick?

No temperature.

Should we stay home?

No, I'm not that sick.

No, no, no, please...

Can we still go? Liam will be so sad.

[Sighs]

Okay, but stay in bed. Drink fluids.

Hey, can you hold him for a second?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get my coat on.

Okay. Enjoy the wedding.

I can't wait to hear the reports.

[Bottles jingle]

Jesus, Ian.

What time did you get in last night?

3:00.

Where were ya?

Out.

[Burps]

Ew, gross!

Okay.

Come on, upstairs. Sleep it off.

[Exhales]

[Sighs]

Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on with that kid?

I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready.

I hope so.

Okay, we are off.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye, Debs.

Bye!

Bye!

Bye!

Nurture nature!

We haven't had sex in over a week.

Yeah, I've, uh... been a little distracted.

What the f*ck?!

Whatever you do...

Hey--

Whatever you do... do not... do not... let her bone you.

Hey--

[Grunting]

You belong here... with me.

Not with that f*cking vegetable.

Aah!

[Panting]

Hey, man, thanks for letting me crash.

Well, you just sorta showed up, so...

What time did we crap out last night?

I was in bed by 11:00.

You must have passed out after 3:00, 'cause that's the last time I heard the bathroom door slam.

Time five out of five, each time louder than the last.

Hmm.

I'm-- I'm sorry, man. I'm a mess.

I got in this huge fight with--

With your girlfriend.

We talked about it for two hours straight.

Oh. Uh, hey, what time is it?

1:30. I gotta split. I'm on, uh, afternoon rotation.

You may as well finish that.

This door locks behind you if you pull it hard, which you're awesome at, so...

Okay.

[Exhales]

[Cell phone beeps]

Hey, uh, Kev, it's Lip.

Um... look, I f*cked up. I, um--

I let her bone me. Just--

[Footsteps approaching] call me back as soon as you get this, all right?

You okay in there?

Yeah.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm just, uh, a little backed up.

For 45 minutes?

Yup.

Can I get you anything?

No, please.

I'm-- I'm great. Okay? I'm fine. Thank you.

I-I-I hate my dress.

I look like a drag queen.

You think Fiona would mind if I borrowed one of hers?

Yes.

She'd mind, or she'd let me?

Mind!

Jesus! Barge right in, why don't you?

What's going on?

I've got a lot of stuff on my mind.

And you can't talk to me about it?

No.

What time are you gonna come tonight?

I don't know, late. I got some sh*t I gotta do.

At Karen's?

Errands.

You know what? Don't bother coming.

[Have Nots' All Or None]

♪ Never wanted nothing other than ♪
♪ to sing along with you all ♪
♪ living under the radar ♪
♪ but now we're cleaning up the rubble ♪
♪ from all the sh*t we never wanted ♪
♪ it's the pride in a life that we never wanted to amount to ♪
♪ and turned us into ♪
♪ an indebted and indentured servant to the human race ♪
♪ force fed inherited everything we couldn't take ♪
♪ ♪

Work it, Gallagher! That's right, own that sack!

Whoo!

Hey!

What? How long have you been here?

Hi. Couple hours.

Yeah?

Where you been?

Uh, I had to do a meat run.

Yeah, somebody accidentally left the beef cooler sitting on the driveway, and by "someone," I mean me.

[Laughs]

You having fun?

It's my fourth.

Oh, very ni--

I will take that as a yes.

Where's your peeps?

Uh... little redhead is my sister Debbie, and the little, brown baby with the boogers is my brother Liam.

[Laughs]

Nice, nice. Is that it?

Uh, yeah, my brother Carl's sick, my brother Ian has a hangover, and my other brother Lip had that wedding.

Gotcha, gotcha.

Where's your man?

[Laughs] Is that cup a perk?

Or did you have to pay for that?

Hey, don't hate 'cause I get swag.

Ah...

Okay? I'm a full-timer.

Mm-hmm.

If you weren't moving to Michigan, maybe you'd pull cups too.

Well, sh*t.

How can I go now knowing that?

Well, sh*t, I don't think you can.

Cheers.

[Chuckles]

Hey. Hop in.

I'll give you a ride.

Nando! Hey, wow! When did you get here?

Early.

You f-- flew all the way from Brazil?

Miami.

I was there on business.

I'm ravenous. We go eat?

[Rock music]

♪ She brought it down from the big, big hill ♪
♪ shine your diamonds, shine 'em, shine 'em ♪
♪ placed it on your windowsill ♪
♪ shine your diamonds, shine 'em, shine 'em ♪
♪ that cobra's in the cave with you ♪
♪ shine your diamonds, shine 'em, shine 'em ♪

You call me a punk for wanting a boyfriend or whatever, but you're gonna marry someone who screws guys for a living?

Who gives a sh*t?

It's a f*cking piece of paper.

Not to me.

[Scoffs]

Hey, come on-- look.

Just 'cause I'm getting hitched doesn't mean we can't still bang.

Okay?

All right?

If you give half a sh*t about me, Mickey--

Hey, hey.

Half.

Don't do this.

And these stairs lead to the side room, and this is the hallway to the bedroom.

This is the outside deck.

The living room, the kitchen, the other bedroom, and the front room.

My God, how big is this place?

Big.

Bastards.

There's no more marshmallows.

I hate that.

They give you, like, ten in the whole bag.

What if they catch us?

Visualize success.

What if they dust for fingerprints?

Always wear gloves. Got one. [Chuckles]

It's a treasure chest. That's a good omen.

What about DNA testing?

Nobody bothers with that CSIcrap, not on a burglary.

Cops'll see these faggots, they won't give three wet farts.

Are you with me?

Hmm.

Okay, one, two, three, go.

Eh, we'll get it next time.

Mmm.

You haven't taken one bite, Steve.

All this food going to waste.

Mmm.

Now, tell me...

I hear reports of, um, medical school.

Uh, going back in January.

I'm gonna become a dermatologist or a surgeon.

Good.

Cosmetic surgery's a rich field.

Very lucrative. Much potential.

Indeed.

And this would require a move to another state.

Only temporary. I'm-- I'm still working out the details.

You know, I-I really just want to do what's best for everyone.

Well, it sounds like you want to do what's best for yourself.

Uh, but having a doctor husband for Estefania would be a great thing.

You know, in America, doctors are seen as heroes.

I'm familiar with your culture.

But the point being is it's-- it's all good, you know? Ann Arbor's a great town.

There's lots of shops.

Mm.

And when was the last time you've seen my daughter?

Uh, two days ago.

Why?

I saw her three hours ago.

In INS Holding.

I suppose you're not aware she's being deported.

Wait, why? Why--

You missed an INS visit yesterday, Steve.

Why didn't she call me?

Well, she tried. You didn't pick up.

And she failed to impress the authorities.

Didn't even know your birthday.

My birthday is Christmas! How hard is that to remember?

And your mother's name.

This is my fault? We did-- we did flash cards.

I can't be with her every second.

[Sighs] I ask so little of you, Steve.

So little.

Stay out of trouble.

Be attentive to my daughter.

Her presence in this country is controversial.

You understand that.

We were under a microscope. I thought I made that clear.

Look, I'm so sorry this happened, I just don't know what could've been done to prevent it.

That's precisely the problem, isn't it, Steve?

What now?

Well, what's done cannot be undone.

Now I must grease many palms.

It will be dealt with.

[People cheering, chattering]

Wait, so you're telling me you've never been to a strip club?

No. Just the thought of a lap dance actually makes me woozy.

[Laughs]

Like, do I grope?

If-- how do I go about doing that in, like, a non-offensive way?

Like, do I make eye contact, or is that-- that could be insulting, 'cause I mean, she works so hard on her body.

Wow, you really are a gentleman.

I am hardly a gentleman.

I just have a problem with forced intimacy.

Blame my mother.

Your mom was a stripper?

Mm-hmm.

[Laughs]

Still a stripper, by the way.

[Clears throat] 90 years old.

Takes her like 40 minutes to unhook her bra, but when she does, what a show.

[Laughs]

So, uh... we sorta ditched the party.

Yeah, we sorta did.

I'm gonna make three assumptions.

Fire away.

Okay, one, you're as drunk as I am.

Correct. Shh.

[Laughs]

Two, you're as cold as I am.

Colder. Less padding.

I'm gonna ignore that.

[Sighs]

Three... you're a gentleman.

False.

Quite the opposite.

Hmm.

Well, then you better behave yourself, because I am way too drunk not to invite you back to my tent right now.

God damn, Gallagher.

I oughta get you pissed off more often.

So, what are we gonna do?

We gonna tell everyone to leave?

Nah.

I'll go get this sh*t over with, and, uh, you can wait here for me.

Shouldn't take more than an hour, right?

You better be ready for round two.

You're not seriously going through with this, are you?

Why are you acting like I got a choice in this?

This is bullshit.

Listen to me, Mickey.

Your dad is an evil, psychotic prick.

You're just gonna let him ruin your life?

You need to grow the f*ck up.

Don't act like you know a thing about my dad.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

Not everybody gets to just-- not everybody just gets to blurt out how they f*ckin' feel every minute.

[Footsteps approaching]

Everyone's looking for you.

I'm having a f*ckin' smoke. Is that all right?

You just get here?

Yeah.

I didn't know you were coming.

Last-minute decision.

Come on.

[Mendelssohn's Wedding March]

♪ ♪

[Beeping]

[Have Nots' Dead Man]

♪ ♪
♪ Dead man walking like a wind-up toy ♪
♪ plodding, never plotting for the things that bring him joy ♪
♪ living in the movies like he's celluloid ♪
♪ and then it's over ♪
♪ so roll the credits now ♪
♪ dead man standing single file in every line ♪
♪ gave up on the searching ♪
♪ he was scared of what he'd find ♪
♪ but I don't wanna live like I'm headed to the grave ♪
♪ no, I don't wanna live that way ♪
♪ got a purpose and a plan ♪
♪ and I don't wanna live like a dead man ♪
♪ ♪

Both: [Panting, moaning]

Ah!

What, what? You okay?

What am I doing? What am I doing?

Do you want to stop? We can stop.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.

We got carried away, all right? These things happen.

I don't know what I'm doing.

You're using me for revenge.

Am I?

I'm not saying that I mind. I-I-I do not mind.

I just recognize the impulse.

He was planning on going to Michigan without me.

Oh, sh*t.

He acted like he was gonna take all of us, but it's not even the first time that he's lied.

I closed my stupid eyes to it 'cause I wanted it to work so bad.

Your eyes aren't stupid.

[Sighs] Oh, I'm an idiot.

Just because someone dumps on you does not mean you deserve it.

Tell me that when someone's dumping on you.

Eve?

That's my wife.

Ex-wife. God.

Papers went through last week.

I'm kinda too chicken to get it removed, so I'm thinking about making it into a bigger word.

[Chuckles]

Like, uh...

"Sleeve" maybe.

[Laughs]

"Eleven."

I don't know.

Both: [Laugh]

I guess you're lucky her name wasn't "Ocksucker."

Both: [Laugh]

Yeah.

Yeah.

When did you know when it was over?

When she started going to the gym every day.

[Sighs] You?

Without a hitch.

Son, you did good.

[Whispers] Close the door. Close the door.

How much you think it's all worth?

I don't know. Maybe 3 grand?

Really?

Damn straight.

Hey, let's celebrate.

Go cook us up some spaghettios.

Lis-- listen, I know that I got sloppy, Nando, but I will fix it. Just tell me what I can do.

Run-- run dr*gs, steal cars, you know, my dad has connections in the government.

He's a powerful man.

He supported immigration legislation--

So much traffic today. Are the cubs playing?

It's-- you know what?

It's a good thing this happened, actually.

I mean, not entirely, of course, but I-I'm completely clear on the rules.

You know, I'm absolutely on the same page as you.

I mean, thank you for that. Truly. Truly.

Oh, let's go see who that is.

Oh, hey!

I'm just finishing up Karen's favorite snack.

Snickerdoodle cupcakes.

She's upstairs.

Um, but hey, um, you don't need to install the motion lights because Jody is taking Karen and Hymie to Sedona to live near the vortexes, so...

It's fine. They're gonna be near family.

And she is his wife, after all.

Is-- is Mrs. Wong okay with Hymie leaving?

Well, she's his mother, and babies belong with their mothers, so...

You go on up. I'll be right there with snacks.

[Chuckles]

Hey.

How you feeling?

[Exhales]

Your mom says you're moving.

I am?

Yeah, to Arizona?

Oh.

The Grand Canyon.

Cactuses.

Right.

Hey...

I know you're in there. It's just us now, okay?

We can talk.

Hey, uh... you remember that day we, uh-- we got drunk and, uh, ran around Lincoln Park setting off all the alarms on the Priuses?

Yeah.

And then we, um-- we climbed the Lincoln statue and gave Old Abe some, uh, lipstick with red sharpie.

Yeah... yeah.

Yeah, you were, uh, f*cking fearless.

And a total shithead.

I remember, um, you made me go down on you that night in the bathroom of Bennigan's.

You remember all that?

Yes.

But...

I can't feel.

Feel what?

Stuff.

Inside.

I, uh...

I don't know what that means.

I can't explain.

But... it's okay.

Are there snacks?

Mandy. Mandy did this. Okay?

Mandy hit you with the car and f*cked you up forever!

All right? Because of me.

Mandy Milkovich.

Yes.

Do you understand me?

Yes.

Okay.

Do you know who hit you?

No.

Are there snacks?

♪ Lady in red ♪

[People chattering]

♪ is dancing with me ♪
♪ cheek to cheek ♪
♪ there's nobody here ♪

Mandy!

Come here.

[Laughs]

Couldn't stay away, could you?

You ruined Karen's life!

You're a jealous, demented c**t, Mandy!

Seriously!

All right? We're done!

I did it for you, you prick.

I did everything for you, but you're so f*cking blind.

You know what, don't sweat it.

We were done before you got here.

This is Kenyatta.

He's my date.

I just swallowed his load in the bathroom.

Can you taste it?

He did it.

He got married. To a woman.

I told you not to come here, okay?

You try sitting on your ass while the person you love--

No, I'm sorry, I mean the guy you've been f*cking gets married to some random commie skank!

f*ckin' commie!

♪ You were amazing ♪
♪ never seen so many people-- ♪

Let's go.

Get out of the car.

[Sniffles]

Okay.

Be a man. Just this once.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Deep breath.

[Breathes deeply]

Chin up.

Get onto the boat.

Can I just make one phone call to Fiona?

Please?

[Cell phone splashes] f*ck.

[Engine growling]

I don't think I'm gonna make it.

We're so close.

I gotta lay down for a little bit.

Ian, hey, stop. No! We're here!

I'm gonna puke.

[Police radios]

We know you've been stealing...

f*ck.

Kid, settle down.

Hey, whoa, can I help you?

Who are you?

I'm his brother. What's going on?

We have reason to believe this child may have robbed his former foster parents while they were at work this afternoon.

Yeah? What proof you got?

He had a special security code assigned to him.

He's the only one that knows it.

All right, as far as I can tell, that's not evidence.

Get your f*ckin' hands off him, man.

His code was a series of four letters.

C-A-R-L.

Take your f*ckin' hands off him, man!

He's just a f*cking kid!

All right, that's enough of that.

Step back, sir.

Take your hands off the officer right now!

Step away from the officer.

It's gonna be okay.

This kid stole from people, all right?

We're taking him in.

You're ta-- he's a f*cking kid!

Do not touch the officer.

Step back right now!

Carl, come here!

If you interfere again, I will arrest you!

Do not touch him!

Why are you being so rough with him?

You are gonna have to--

Why is he being so f*cking rough with him?

You touch him again, I will arrest you!

Whoa, whoa. Good evening, gentlemen.

Are you the parent?

Why, yes, I am.

What the f*ck are you doing here, Frank?

I'm coming home.

We're taking your son in for questioning.

He didn't do the heist, I did.

You see? Shiny, but a little bit big.

I also got a boatload of electronics-- those sold fast.

Did you know that Chicago has several 24-hour pawn shops?

He-- he didn't-- he's innocent.

I forced him to give me the code.

Didn't I? Son, tell 'em.

Oh, my God. He's dumber than a bag of hair.

He couldn't pull off a band-aid, much less a robbery.

Okay, here.

Cuff me, before I get disorderly.

[Handcuffs click]

Be brave, son!

Order room service.

[Rock music]

♪ ♪

What happened?

[Siren wails]

♪ ♪

Hell froze over.

♪ I... ♪
♪ am just a beggar ♪

[Dials phone]

[Phone line rings]

Hey, it's Steve. Leave some words.

[Beeps]

Hey, it's me.

[Scoffs]

Five kids at med school.

What was I thinking?

And you're right. We live in a slum.

It's a four-hour train ride. That's nothing.

We can make this work.

We have to.

I love you.

Call me.

[Sighs]