01x07 - Who Shaves the Barber

(man) Precedently on Fargo...

[tires screech]




(Molly) Freeze! Police officer!



That cop, the female, says you're a suspect.

Suspect of what?

(Chazz) For Pearl, the Chief, even Sam Hess.

If you want this to go away, you gotta give 'em someone.

[melancholy orchestration]

♪ ♪

[background chatter]

(Chazz) It's good waffles, hon.

(Kitty) It's a mix.

Who's ready for seconds?

(Kitty) - Gordo?

(Gordo) - Yeah?

What you doing there?

Reading a comic.

It's breakfast time, though.

Supposed to be family time.

(Chazz) Yeah, put the comic away, huh?

(Gordo) One more page.

(Chazz) That's not...

It's breakfast, mister.

Family time. You heard your mother.

(newscaster) 700 to 1,000 people are without power...

(Chazz) Your mom needs help after school.

Got hockey.

After hockey then.

Supposed to play with Kevin.

Well, you can play with Kevin tomorrow.

It's time you learned some responsibility.

Ooh, hon, listen to this.

Meteorologists are saying the incident was probably caused by a tornado which sucked up water and fish from a lake and dropped them miles away.

And we'll have more on this developing news story a little later toni... along with our meteorologist's take on...

The darndest thing.

Come on, bud, get your boots on.

You don't wanna be late for the bus.

Kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss, kiss.

Mwah. Love ya.

(Chazz) And me?

(Gordo) Dad.

On what reporters are calling the storm of the century.

Plow drivers have been working for 24 hours straight without rest, and though exhausted, we spoke to one earlier today...

[brakes squeak]

[children chattering]

No funny stuff today.

[chattering continues]

So then Neo's like, "I'm the one."

And agent what's-his-name is like...

"The sound of inevitability."

Yeah, and he's got him, right? Around the neck.

Oh, it hurt me a little.

Don't be such a baby.

Guys. So they're on the tracks, right?

And the train's coming. Stop...

And Neo says, "No way, huh?"

And he...



[vacuum humming]

[doorbell chimes]

[knocking on door]

[doorbell chimes]

[knocking on door]

[vacuum powers down]

[doorbell chimes]

[rapid knocking]

[radio radio chatter]

So we're in the room with the stripper, yeah?

And Blackman wants to know how much for a blumkin.

Which I'm like, "What the heck is that?"


Yeah, so he says, "You know, why not stick around and find out?"

And I'm like...

(secretary) Mr. Nygaard, your wife is on one.

Yeah, I'll call her back.

Oh, no, she said it's urgent.

Yeah, hon?

(Kitty) Chazz, the cops are here.

Gordo's been arrested, and the cops are here.

Whoa, whoa, slow down.

What do you mean the cops are there?

In the house.

They say that Gordo brought a gun to school, and they're tearing up the house.

They say they got a search warrant.

[lowers voice] Don't... don't let them.

I'll be right there.

Just... I'll be right there.

I'm coming!

Chazz, what have you done?

I'm on my way!


[police radio chatter]

(Chazz) No.

Wait, hold on!

[incoherent yelling] What?

You son of a bitch! He's my baby!

Now, I got...

I got permits for those.

You son of a bitch!

Now, Bill Oswalt, hold on...

Son of a bitch!

I can explain that.


[Kitty panting]

(Kitty) What have you done?


[muffled sound]

[rhythmic thumping sound]

[muffled shouting]

[rhythmic thumping continues]

[Kitty not audible]

[thumping and gurgling sounds]

Oh, hey.


[clears throat]

Busy morning, huh?


Is there a... some kinda development with the case?

Is that why I'm...

Where's the female deputy? Is she...

She got shot, Lester.

She got...

In Duluth.

I should be up there right now, but then there's this mess.

I don't even know where to start.

It's like when you see on the news a boat sinks in India and 300 people drown, and you ask yourself, "Do I know 300 people?"

Or one of those African massacres with 12-year-olds with machetes, and they kill... You can't even...

You can't even count that high.

We lost 16 people in 1... to the flu.

I looked it up.

In '78, six people died in a pharmacy fire, but nothing like this ever.

Three people murdered in two days, including the Chief of Police, Lenny Potts missing, and a cop shot.

And now a kid brings a gun to school.

A kid?

It was Gordo, Lester.

Gordo? My Gordo?

He had a handgun in his backpack, unloaded, thank gosh.

But still, you can't... Not with the current climate...

Is he in trouble?

Is he...

He brought a gun to school!

And still... Gordo's the least of this.

We searched the house.

And, Lester, I gotta tell you, I don't know whether to...

After all these years, I like to think that you could've come to me, you could've trusted me as a friend with...


We know you were in the room when Vern was shot.

You had a shotgun pellet in your hand, same as killed Vern.

Was your wife having an affair?

With Chazz?


We found a photo.

Photos. At his place.


I don't wanna talk about it.

Boudoir photos.

And a pair of...


Yeah, and I know... I know how much you loved her.

I remember ninth grade science class, Mrs. Nagutuck.

Pearl walks in the first day of class and sits down, and you look at me... "I'm gonna marry that girl one day."

But she was always... I know this is outta line, but... we all heard the stories.

But to sleep with your own brother?

I know.

God... Your own brother!

And what then?

She tells him it's over and he...

We all know your brother had a temper.

He broke a guy's nose once just for crackin' wise at the state fair.

Ha! I remember!

Had to do community service.

So what, she cuts it off, the affair, and then he...

[clears throat]

All I know is that I came home from work, and they were arguing in the basement.

I heard the voices. I thought, is that Chazz? And so I went over to the top of the stairs to hear, you know? And she says, uh, "Love? Is that what you think this is?" Or something like that.

She laughs. And then she says, "You know, you're not half the man your brother is."

Then I hear this [snaps] sound.

This... I'll never forget it.

So, um... I run downstairs, and, uh, there's Chazz.

And he's got the hammer.

And he looks up at me and says, "Oh, jeez, Lester.

What did I..."

[clears throat]

I'm upset.

I... [ahem]

I try to get to Pearl, you know, to check if she's... And Chazz says to me, "Lester, this was an accident." And I... "An accident?"

You hit her with a hammer.

And, uh, he raises up the hammer again.

He's still looking at me.

Uh, I don't know if he's gonna... or what.

So... so I say, um, something like, "Chazz, what the heck..."

[clears throat]

And the doorbell rings.



I wanted to say something, Bill.

I swear.

But Chazz, you know, he's...

You were afraid.

Oh, I was afraid, yeah.

And Chazz is my only brother.

So then what happens?

So then... Uh, we go upstairs.


And, uh, Chazz says, "Take care of it."

And he goes in the back.

Where you kept the shotgun.

Where I kept the shotgun. I should have thought of that.

The shotgun... I know... I know, but I... I was in shock.

So I let Vern in, and right away I think to... to tell him, to say what's happened, because Pearl could still be alive downstairs.

There might still be time to...

And then Chazz comes in with the shotgun. And I should've stopped him.

I should've said right away, "Chazz is in the house, and he's, um... but I was afraid, like you said.

And now... And now it's...

Bill, if you think that makes me guilty of something, then I want you to throw the book at me.

Put me in jail.

'Cause I loved her.

You know, Pearl, despite all... she was...

She was my wife.

[suspenseful orchestration]

♪ ♪


Lester, what did you do?




(Molly) Freeze! Police officer!

[metallic click]



She's awake.

[water running]

[turns water off]

What happened?

Um, you got shot.

Go outside, now, okay?


Just do it.

Did we get him?



I had him and...

Until this other fella popped up.


Look now, I-I-I gotta tell you something...

Do you know what happened to the fella I shot?

Is he...

He's, uh...

They got him upstairs in Intensive.

I shot him twice.

Just like they teach you.

Center mass.

And him with a bazooka.

How the heck did I do that?

'cause you're you.

Look, here's the, um...


I shot you.

Well, that don't make sense.

You ran off, you know, and... and I couldn't see anything, you know?

I mean, not that that's any...

I mean, there's... There's no excuse for it, for what I did.

You were out there alone, needing backup, and I...

What'd I lose?

A spleen.


I'll get you a new one, I swear.

Yeah, you better.

There's gonna be an inquiry.

I was too shook up at the scene to, but I'll... I'll confess.

They'll probably take my badge, but with all that's happened that's likely best, so...

Come on now.

You said yourself, it's a blizzard and whiteout conditions.

And I... I could've shot you just as easy.

No, I've just been messing things up from the go.

Hey now. That's enough of that.

You want some pop or something?

No, I want a new spleen.

That's what I want.

So, you know, better get crackin', mister.


Who's watching the restaurant?

Screw the damn restaurant.

Guess we both got bullet holes now, huh?



You got, uh, premium channels?

(Molly) I'm not sure. I just woke up.

(man on TV) ...work that is extremely difficult.

(man on TV) ...rock formations...

(man on TV) The bark beetle carries the wood to its nest...

(male announcer on TV)

...on the way to Kessel.

He shoots, he scores!

(Lou) Gophers are playing.

If that's what you wanna watch.

Forcing a turnover and the assist to Kessel.

Ben Schmidt says you put down a guy with an assault rifle.

[announcer continues in background]

Well, he was pointing it at me.


Proud of you.

[melancholy orchestration]

♪ ♪


C... C...


All right.

[line ringing]

(man) Cleaners.

Hi, yeah, I got...

How you doing there then?

Oh, I'm real good now. How are you?

Oh, you know, can't complain.

Wife's got a bit of a cold, but that's life, right?


Well, my house needs, uh...

It's... well, I'm not gonna lie, it's a real mess.

Heck, that's our bread and butter.

Well, do you fellas do crime scenes?

Had a break-in, huh?

Yeah, it's a little worse than a break-in.

A lot of broken glass or...

Well, I'd rather not get...

Sometimes they defecate in your...

Let's just say there's a lot of blood.

[hangs up]


(trainer) Good!

And twist.

And front.

And side.

And two.

And three.

And good!

Left arm.

And bend.




[phone ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

So I notice you got a pin on your map in every state but Georgia.

What the hell do you got against Georgia?

My first wife.

She was Korean.

She used to spit at me when we had s*x.

Can I sit?

Or did you want to kill me standing?

Two hombres took a run at me in Duluth.


That's the wrong part of the sentence to be focusing on.

The point is they said Fargo sent them.

So I have two questions.


Did you tell these boys where to find me?


Who do I see about this in Fargo?

Look, you know I can't...

Did you put 'em on me?

No. Course not.

But you gotta understand, this is a business of relationships.

I can't just...



And, well...

It's not my position professionally to get involved in squabbles.

Especially not of a private nature.

How do you know it's private?

If people are unhappy with our services, they call.

A guy screws up, arrangements are made.

A cash settlement.

If that's not enough, break a leg or an arm.

No calls.

Not about you.

So whatever it is, it's gotta be personal.

Doesn't matter. It's the principle.

This one calls an ambulance, that one calls a hearse.

I'm gonna ask you again, and depending on the answer I pick up this or that.

Who do I talk to in Fargo?

[woman screams]

[indistinct chatter]

You remember me?




Can you talk? Speak, I mean?

Right, but you... you... you read lips?



You know I'm the one shot you, yeah?

Do you remember me from before?

In Bemidji?

The insurance office?

You were talking to Lester Nygaard.

Just hit me lying in bed thinking about that...

What happened, you know.

Hold the phone, I know that fella.

Did you come here looking for Malvo?

For... look...



Lorne Malvo?

Did Lester tell you where to find him?

It hurts?


Mine too.

I mean, it's crazy.

I never shot anyone before.

I'm gathering this wasn't your first time though.

Look at us.

And you got a dad somewhere I bet.

Just like me.

And, I mean, what's the point, you know?

'Cause here you are, and your friend is dead, and you're gonna spend the rest of your life in jail.

And for what?


Okay, Mr. Nygaard, I gotta ask you to stand and put your back to the bars.

Listen, officer, this is a huge mistake.

I... This is a setup.


Do you understand?

Evidence has been planted, it's been falsified.

Sir, turn your back towards me...

If I could just talk to my brother...

...or I'm gonna have to tase you.


This is a nightmare.

You... you gotta believe me. I didn't do these things.

Not for me to say, sir.

Where are you...

Transfer to County.

You'll be there until the trial.

Or until you make bail.

Jeez, Lester.

Oh, hey.

Heard you got arrested.

Ah, well, you know how it is.

Had a few too many. Slept it off at the station.

And who can blame you, really?

After what you been through.

Yeah. Yeah.

They were real sweet to me.

I'm the victim here, you know?


So what's on the agenda for today?

I'm ready to go.

You know, start fresh.

I can work late even.

There's nothing at home but an empty house, so...


Well, uh, I was just about to call the widow Hess.

Yeah, her claim's been denied.

You don't say.

Yeah, seems Sam stopped paying the premium.

[chuckles] Shame really.

Good for us. That was a big policy.

Well, she's not gonna be happy about that.

No, she's not.

Why don't... why don't I take that off your plate?


I mean, I don't know. You sure you're ready for...

Look, she can't shout at me, right?

Not after... I mean, we're in the same boat.

So I figure I tell her, she has a good cry, and that's that.

Otherwise she's gonna be all claws-out.

That makes sense.

Yeah, it's settled. I'll head over.

You don't wanna just call?

Mm, no, in person's better, I think.

Give her a shoulder, you know?

[clicks tongue]


♪ ♪

[indistinct PA announcement]


Come in!

I, uh, brought you some flowers.

Oh, thanks.

Just put 'em...

What are you...


It's making my head hurt, this whole case, all the moving pieces.

Thought I'd put it up, you know, graphically.

See if things made much more sense.

I called back to Bemidji to talk to Bill, but he's...

I don't know, some kid brought a gun to school or something.

So everyone's kinda running around.

And to be honest, everything they said didn't make much sense anyway.

Who's the deaf fella then?

Fella upstairs, tried to murder me with a bazooka.

Oh, yeah?


Turns out he can't hear.

And the other fella with his throat cut, I'm guessing he translated.

And they're who now?

Well, that's the thing.

All I can think is... and, you know, maybe this is a stretch, but heck if I know any other way to think about it.

Sam Hess, right?

So he owns a trucking company.

And we always thought he had maybe alleged ties to organized crime, this operation out of Fargo.

So when Hess gets killed, I'm thinking maybe Fargo sends these two boys to figure out what happened.

And how do they end up here?

Well, follow me.

If we think, which we do, that Lester, on the day of the murder, got bullied by Hess and then met Malvo at the hospital.


And hired Malvo to kill Hess.

Which he did.

And then these two boys come in from out of town asking questions.

Get to finding Lester.

And he sends 'em here.

So Lester knew that Malvo was here in Duluth.

It would appear that way, yeah.

But that's...

That's ammunition, right?

I mean, to go back to Lester.

Oh, yeah. You betcha.

Took forever, but I got 'em to sign off on taking you home.

Oh, so you're, uh...

Oh, yeah.

Sure that... Recover at home, you know?

That makes sense, sure.

Thanks, dad.

Uh, well, okay.

Uh, guess I'll see you later.

Oh, dad, my flowers.

Oh, yeah.

Thanks for these.

He bought me flowers.

You don't say.

Glad you like 'em.

I'm gonna put 'em in water as soon as I get home.

You keep your chin up, Gus Grimly.

We're winning this thing.

Don't you forget.

Say bye to Greta for me.


So he's got the stick in his mouth, right?

Biting down.

And I grab the arrow.

Then Craig is in the car having a giggle.

Thinks the whole thing's hi-larious.

Which that's my cousin out there, right?

So I slip the knife outta me boot and give him the old what-for.

Held the knife to his bloody face.

And lunch is over.

I don't know how they eat that crap every day.

Speaking of...


It's fresh.

Do you know the conditions of a modern fast food restaurant?

I'm not just talking about hygiene.

Get bent.

They did an experiment once.

Scientist took two glasses of water.

Then he starts cursing at one, calling it all kinds of names.

You're making this up.

I swear to God.

I swear to God.

He yells at one glass.

And then whispers sweet nothings to the other glass...

[rifle cocking]

(woman) Can I help you, sir?

(man) Gun!

[gunfire, woman screams]

[phone beeping, door buzzes]

(man) Was that shots?

Oh, my God, my God!

(man) Drop it!


[man groans]

[door opens]

(man) Call 911!

[gunfire, man grunts]

(Malvo) Where's the top dog?

(man) The what?

(Malvo) The boss man.

(man) Unh! Third floor! Private elevator.

[gunshot, door opens]

(man) Oh, no!


[men shouting, screaming]

(man) Freeze, shitbird!

[gun clicks repeatedly] sh1t... unh!

(Malvo) What's the code?

[elevator ding] For the elevator?

(man) 933.

[keypad beeps, gunshot]

[elevator ascending]

[ammo cartridge discharges]

[elevator dings, door opens]


(man) Son of a...

[gunfire continues]

(man) Drop dead... ah!

(man) Shoot him!

[gunfire continues]

(man) Get out, boss!

Come on, get him, quick!


(man) Boss, get back!

(Jergen) Shoot him!



What... what... Was that...

Call it in.

Oh... okay.

Call it in, man.

Your pop is in the way.

Where are you... Hold on.

Got me all...

(budge) Maybe we should get in the car and then back up a few feet and then pull back in like we just arrived.

(pepper) Can we just focus on the...

You need to have fewer ideas.

sh1t balls.

We're in so much...

[brakes screeching]

(pepper) Okay, let me do the talking.

(budge) Why? I can do...

(pepper) Because, when you talk...

Back! Get back.

...bad sh1t happens.


We're FBI.

Back! Get back!

Back, please. Police on the scene.

What do you guys got?


It's a body.

Well, he doesn't know.

Lock it down.

(budge) Multiple gun shots.

Shooter's still inside the building.

And you're gonna need more patrolmen than this. - Okay. Okay.

(pepper) Okay. We're good.

We're going in, back us up.


You follow us. Come on.


It's about time.

I've been calling.

Sorry about the delay.

You know the red tape on these things.


(Betty Roche)

♪ there's trouble, trouble, trouble ♪

Come on in.


You look real nice today.


You're sweet.

Boys home?

No, thank God.

They have a game.

Good. Good.

You don't go then, no?

Are you kidding?

I just stay here trying to drink enough, so I'm numb by the time they get home.

[both chuckle]

Got one of those for me?

Why, Lester.


♪ trouble, trouble ♪
♪ oh, then this man of mine ♪
♪ ♪



Ha ha!



To fresh beginnings.


So it's all set, right?

Getting paid.

Uh, ahem, well, they should.

What do you mean, "Should"?

When do I get the money?

It's like I said, there's a few more hoops on these homicide cases.

We're not just talking about filing a death certificate.

I don't think I'm telling you anything you don't know when I say these insurance companies, they don't like writing checks.

But I'm gonna get it, right?

Well, that is where a skilled middleman such as myself comes in.

You see, it's all about knowing who to call.

All about knowing which palms to grease, if you get my meaning.

I know a little something about greasy palms.


♪ ♪

Well, why don't you and me have another drink?

You can show me that.

♪ ♪

[Gina moaning]

♪ ♪

Oh, Lester.

[headboard pounding]

Slow down, tiger. You're hurting me.

I'm sorry.

[Gina groaning]


Ah, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God.

I should take you home and put you to bed.

Just be a second, I promise.


Oh, my gosh, are you...

They said you were still...

Oh, the bullet went clean through.

Doc says take a few days, rest up.

Otherwise fine.

Where is everyone?


We got him... who killed the Chief.


You arrested Lester?

No, didn't you hear? It was his brother, Chazz, the whole time.

He was having an affair with the wife.

She broke it off.


Yeah, beat her with a hammer, then shot the Chief.

Lester covered for him.

Bill thinks 'cause of Chazz's temper.

You know, the fear factor.


That's not...

I gotta talk to Bill. Where's Bill?

Yeah, with the rest over at Bernard's.

I'm supposed to go over after my shift.

Okay, I gotta...

Shouldn't you go home?

You okay, hon?


(man) Now I get it.

[rooster crows]