02x04 - Fear And Trembling

[bunniefuu]

[ Mid-tempo jazz music plays ]

Reporter: And in overseas news, President Truman told reporters today he was confident the proud fighting men of the United States Marines would be successful in pushing back North Korean troops surging south across the 38th parallel. In consultation with top officials of the State and Defense Department, Truman offered unlimited m*llitary aid to South Korea without seeking an official declaration of w*r from Congress.

[ Music continues ]

Man: The world, Mr. Lawrence, is now experiencing strange astronomical phenomena. Reports have come in from all over the globe of inexplicable objects being sighted in the sky.

Got to check you, Otto.

Man #2: Surely you're not telling me a scientist like yourself believes such nonsense?

No, I'm not telling you that.

[ Ominous music plays ]

[ Woman screams ]

Dodd.

Like the heads of Easter Island.

What?

Not a sound.

Cheech says we're going to the Moon.

You and Cheech?

No, you moron-- America.

I told him, "Don't be stupid."

We got too many gooks to k*ll.

That Mao Zedong thinks he's gonna run the whole show, be king of the world.

Is that what you want?

Be king like your dad? Sit on my throne?

The way I see it, you're on his throne.

Hey, k*ll the king, be the king.

That's the world.

If you're feeling sour about it, write a letter to Napoleon.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Or maybe you've come to get your revenge.

Me? Nah.

I just want a seat at the table.

Ain't no table.

There's me.

Everybody else sits on the floor.

So, what are you waiting for?

Sit, avert your eyes.

[ g*n cocks ]

What purpose?

Woman: Careful, father!

Look, the light went out.

I love this part.

[ UFO beeping ]

[ Ominous music plays ]

Stupid to bring your kid.

The boy's got to learn how men are.

Yeah.

But it's the last lesson he'll ever--

[ Flesh slices ]

[ Music intensifies ]

[ Women screaming ]

[ g*nshots ]

[ Frog croaking]

Dodd.

Dodd.

Dodd!

Thought Hanzee goes with you on jobs?

Half-breed's in Luverne, looking for your uncle.

You're what, 15 now?

17.

[ Chuckles ]

Small for your age.

And, what, your dad wants you to be some kind of... professional?

You know, a lawyer probably.

Yeah. Suppose we could use a lawyer.

That what you want, though?

Punch a clock?

Always thought I could do what you do.

Ha ha! Bust heads?

How's that work with one arm?

I can sh**t a g*n.

Yeah, but... what happens when you need to reload?

I'll show you. Pull over. Pull over.

Okay, "Wild Bill." How's this work?

[ Sighs ]

Ready?

Mm-hmm.

[ g*n cocks ]

[ Laughs ]

Look at you.

So? What do you need me to do?

Get in the car, tough guy.

[ Devo's "Too Much Paranoias" plays ]

Aah-hoo-hoo!

♪ think I got your dial tone ♪
♪ think I got Billy Baxter's phone ♪

Son of a bitch.

♪ think I got a bubble-sac ♪
♪ I think I got a Big Mac att*ck ♪
♪ hold the pickles, hold the lettuce ♪
♪ special orders, don't upset us ♪
♪ all we ask is that you let us serve it your way... ♪

Ho. There he is.

♪ there's too much paranoia ♪
♪ there's too much paranoia ♪

Joe Bulo says to say hi.

♪ ...my mama's afraid to tell me the things she's afraid of ♪

Well, what you gonna do, big boy?

Give us a kiss.

You want a kiss?

I'll give you a kiss.

[ Electricity buzzing, women screaming ]

Ow! My wrist!

Aah! Aah!

Kiss the man, son.

Hurry, before he gets that sticker.

He's still standing. Hit him again.

Hit him again!

Gimme a chocolate glaze and... and a... an ole fashion.

An ole-- an ole fa-- an ole fashion.

Come on. Get some zip in ya.

[ Groans ] God damn it!

[ Electricity buzzing ]

It's on them.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

[ Mouse squeaking ]

Dr. Emilious: Well, it's a w*r.

Nixon declared it.

The w*r on cancer.

As long as it's not a w*r on me.

No, no, it's not a w*r against you.

It's a w*r against your body.

Well, that doesn't sound, um--

Our-- our doctor said that--

That's, uh, uh, uh, Dr. Gerber?

Mm-hmm.

Right, Dr. Gerber said few weeks of chemo.

He said they caught it early.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, and he thought a few weeks of chemo and-- well, he thought she'd be out of the woods.

Your blood work and your x-rays, these are not, as they say, good.

I'm getting worse.

Well, if by worse you mean the cancer's spreading, then... yes.

But there is a trial, clinical trial, that, uh, might be beneficial.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

Mm-hmm. We'll try anything.

It's a new drug.

Let's call it "Xanadu."

Is that its name?

No, that-- that's just what they're calling it for the trial.

This drug, Xanadu, it-- it has shown promise.

And I'll be getting that drug... as part of the trial?

Yes. That or a placebo.

A placebo? Um...

Uh, yeah, I don't understand. [ Chuckles nervously ]

You see, in order to ascertain the effectiveness of a drug, it has to be judged in a controlled setting against an equal number of patients that are not getting the drug.

And those patients, the ones not getting the drug, they get...

Well, it's like a Smartie.

You know Smarties.

Well, hold on. I'm confused.

You said Betsy would be part of the trial, so--

Am I getting the real drug or the fake drug?

That I can't say.

Shall I sign you up?

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Ed: Oh, okay, I'm close.

[ Grunts ]

Geez. It's happening.

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Moaning ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

That one stuck for sure.

Peggy: - Ed.

Yeah?

I got to pee.

Oh. Sure.

Oh.

Pbht!

Pbht!

Might just have ourselves a fall baby if we're...

I mean, can you imagine, you, me, and a baby?

[ Bathroom door closes ]

And I'll buy the shop and... and we'll live like three pigs in a blanket.

[ Sighs ]

Ed: Probably need more space, though.

What's that, hon?

Bigger house.

Not right away, of course, but, I mean, if we have two, let's say a boy and a girl, then they'll need their own-- you know, a yard if we get a dog.

[ Inhales deeply ]

Anyway, might have to wait on that seminar.

[ Urinating ]

What?

Yeah, I thought about it, and, uh... we just can't afford it right now, not with the-- buying the butcher shop.

It's $500.

I mean, unless we find a cheaper one.

A cheaper course?

Yeah.

Well, what, so I can be a less-good me?

What? No.

[ Toilet flushes ]

I-I-I'm saying...

[ Water running ]

...on-- on the list of priorities... you know, this is our future, the shop, and, you know, all that other stuff-- the knittin' class or--

It's not a knittin' class.

It's gonna help me reach my full potential.

Of course, and I know that.

But, hon, you're so great now, I'm not sure if I could handle it if you got any better.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Well... better get dressed, yeah.

Now that we got all that mess cleaned up, today's the first day of the rest of our lives.

[ Shower curtain closes ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

[ Bell jingles ]

[ Police radio chatter ]

[ Wind howling ]

[ Howling stops ]

[ Pocket watch ticks ]

Help ya?

Got some cars for sale around back.

This one's a repair.

'65 Corvair-- "Light-handed, light-footed, lighthearted."

I'm not sure what that means.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, uh, no.

Can't have ya looking inside.

See, I'm entrusted with the safety of the customer's effects, so...

It's part of the, uh, code, so...

Excuse me. All right?

That's, uh-- like I said, what's for sale's outside.

He known to you?

Oh, Ed? Yeah. Yeah, he's the butcher.

I mean, uh... no.

Uh, no, no.

Never seen him before.

Butcher where?

All right, see, that's--

Now you got me thinking you're up to some shady doings, mister.

And, uh-- all right.

[ Ominous music plays ]

Look, I-I was in 'Nam, yeah?

Out there, they called me "Mad Dog," so you just-- you watch your, uh...

Do you miss it?

What?

Well, the-- the country-- you know, the wet, the heat, the bugs?

Do you miss that?

God, no.

It's this quiet I can't get used to, this... frozen winter.

Yeah, well... Can't argue with ya.

Did you work the tunnels?

The--

"Send the Indian," they'd say.

"Who cares about booby traps?

Give Hanzee a flashlight and a Kn*fe and send him down into the black echo."

Moving through the earth like a rat, k*lling off Charlie, taking his ears...

Ears?

You got to push their faces down into the dirt so they don't scream and wake the others.

[ Door opens ]

Karl: Whoo!

Where on God's green earth do you keep the plunger?

Is there a problem here, Sonny?

I don't know.

'Course you don't.

Friend, is there a problem?

He's got a Kn*fe, Karl.

Yeah, Sonny, I got eyes.

I said, do we got a problem?

[ Car door opens ]

[ Car door closes, engine turns over ]

He seemed real angry.

Yeah, I got that part.

Any other Einstein insights you can share with me?

An Indian... I think.

Get the phone, kid.

We'd better alert the local constable.

The...?

The Sheriff, you idiot.

Yeah. Okay.

[ Bed springs squeaking, soft folk music plays ]

[ Man singing in French]

[ Squeaking quickens ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

Surprised me there at the end-- your finger.

You like that?

Didn't say I liked it. Said you surprised me.

[ Music continues ]

You got that bump, then?

I'm worried your family's gonna go the wrong way on this thing.

Floyd's smart. She'll take the money.

And what about your dad?

Him?

You probably got to k*ll him.

[ Sniffs ]

And you're okay with that?

[ Sighs ]

You know what depresses me?

I missed the '60s-- free love, drop acid, Woodstock.

Wake up one day, decide you want to call yourself Flower Rainblossom, you just call yourself Flower Rainblossom.

Yeah, but the '70s were always coming, like a-- What do you...

A hangover.

[ Music continues ]

And you know what happened to Flower Rainblossom?

She's on methadone in Bismark, turning tricks for breakfast meat.

I know.

But at least I would've had fun, be free... like how you get to dream before you wake up.

I saw the Indian left town yesterday.

Hanzee?

Dad sent him to find Rye.

He sh*t a judge, I heard.

So he's either hiding out now or dead.

Either way, could be gone for good.

You're boring me.

I thought we were gonna have some fun.

We had fun, darling.

How I know is I can still feel your finger in my ass.

That was my thumb.

So, the sit-down today, you think Floyd says yes... takes the deal?

What I hear, she's got a compromise.

Give some, keep some.

Is that Otto's idea?

Grandpa? No.

He's a legume.

They're taking him to the doctor later, see if they can stop the droolin'.

Is that right?

Which doctor?

[ Grunts ]

Thought I'd take Molly ice fishing this weekend.

Mm.

Bring something more than just jerky this time.

That's what my dad brought.

Yeah, but she's 6, and she's a girl.

Gonna have to learn this stuff.

Hey, so...

[ Sighs ]

Should I be, uh-- I don't know-- uh, treating you any different?

Please don't.

Well, you let me know.

Mm-hmm.

Better get inside and take my sugar pills.

[ Chuckles ]

Dispatch: State Car 18, come back. Over.

Uh... that's me.

Yeah, I know.

Go.

I'll be fine.

Dispatch: State Car 18, come back. Over.

[ Door opens, closes ]

Indian buck-- had like a rat face.

Didn't much like the look of him.

Scared me-- a little.

Sorry.

Took Betsy to a specialist.

And?

Uh, well, uh, there's a trial-- um, clinical.

New drug, so, uh, we signed up for that.

Okay.

What'd I miss here?

Uh, well, uh...

This-- this Indian fella put a scare to Sonny.

Luckily, Karl was nearby, stressin' the plumbing.

[ Chuckling ] Scared the Indian off.

What was he doing exactly, this, uh, Indian?

Well, I found him out here in the bay, looking over Ed's car-- seemed real interested.

Ed Renner?

No, Ed Blumquist-- you know, works Bud's butcher shop.

Yeah.

Wife's car, technically.

Got some front-end damage you can see.

As in... front-end damage like the kind you get running down a gunman who just sh*t up three people at The Waffle Hut?

The what now?

Uh, no, no, this was, uh, from an accident yesterday.

Bluth took the report.

Said the Blumquists hit a tree off ice patch junction, tree branch went through the window-- lucky the wife wasn't k*lled.

Hit it coming and going?

Yeah, yeah, I saw that.

Sonny: Peggy said garage door bit her in the back.

But I, uh, found bits of wood in the bumper, so...

Not saying she's lying, but, you know, uh...

Ed: Hey. Burning it at both ends, huh?

Uh, yeah.

[ Telephone ringing ]

You gonna get that?

Yeah.

[ Choir singing in Latin ]

[ Singing continues ]

Thank you for sitting with me here today and for giving us time to consider your offer.

I've asked the bank to arbitrate as neutral party.

Whatever makes you comfortable.

This is your town.

Where's Mr. Milligan?

Another matter, back in Kansas City.

So, we've given you 48 hours to consider.

Do we have a deal?

No.

But I have a counteroffer, a respectful one.

Instead of a straight sale, us to you, we pay you $1 million cash money plus 20% of our territory in Minnesota.

We also discount transportation fees on all Kansas City merchandise, 25% for the first 5 years.

In exchange, we retain full control of our remaining operations-- the Gerhardt family still runs North Dakota but with Kansas City.

Partnership, not a sale-- that's our offer to you.

And we believe it's more than fair.

I see.

Now...

I don't know.

Maybe, when you look at me, you see an old woman, and I am 61.

I've borne six children, had three miscarriages.

Two of my sons are here today.

Two were stillborn.

My firstborn, Elron, k*lled in Korea-- gook sn*per took off half his head.

The point is... don't assume, just because I'm an old woman, that my back is weak and my stomach's not strong.

I make this counter because a deal is always better than w*r.

But no mistake-- we'll fight to keep what's ours to the last man.

[ Breathes deeply ]

You're a good woman.

I wish I'd known your husband.

No.

My husband would've k*lled you where you stood the first time you met.

So be glad you're talking to his wife.

And that's what I'm glad for.

And if it were up to me, I would take your counter...

Partner up...

Except I got to admit, I-I just wonder, if we make this deal, split the territory, we move in, can you guarantee your boys will abide?

My sons listen to their mother.

Good.

Okay.

Except here are two of my men assaulted just this morning in the appropriation of doughnuts by your oldest-- att*cked in peacetime, during a period of deliberation, without provocation.

Oh, I was provoked.

Hush.

My sons will abide.

Ah, s-s-see, that-- that-- that's the problem with a family business.

Now, if one of my men defies me, puts a deal in jeopardy, I take his arm.

If he talks out of turn, I take his tongue.

But you-- your children, your grandchildren-- what are you willing to do to show us you're committed?

I'll deal with my son.

This partnership will hold.

Oh, come on, you're gonna let this guy come here and disrespect us, disrespect pop?

Floyd: Quiet!

Bunch of fruits in ties and pocket protectors. - Take him out now!

I'll pick my teeth with you.

Take him out!

I'll pick my freakin' teeth with you!

Get off me!

[ Door closes ]

I apologize.

He's a proud man.

His father built an empire, and he just wants what's his.

He'll fall into line.

No.

I don't think he will.

Hold up.

Who's the dumbass?

Go around to the passenger seat.

Slide across.

Hurry up.

Yeah, yeah.

[ Engine sputtering ]

[ Ominous music plays ]

[ Sputtering continues ]

[ Vehicle departs ]

Ollie: Well, what's the holdup?

Think maybe I flooded it.

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Music intensifies ]

Take him inside! Go!

[ Thud ]

[ g*n cocks ]

[ g*n cocks ]

[ Choir singing in Latin ]

Joe Bulo says hi.

[ Singing fades out ]

Your counter has been rejected, and now we're lowering our price by $2 million.

But because I respect you and your family, I'm gonna give you the night to think it over.

Anything other than unconditional surrender, and we'll wipe every last Gerhardt off the face of the Earth.

[ Ominous music plays ]

Hiya, Bud.

Bud: Where the heck did you go yesterday?

Yeah. I, uh-- I'm real sorry about that.

Peg had a kind of... emergency, and, you know? Yeah.

Well... you know that check you gave me for the down payment?

Yeah.

Yeah, it bounced.

No, that's not...

I-I checked the account myself.

Bud, I got the funds.

Well, I don't know about that.

It's just the check you gave me didn't clear.

So, you know, there's this other buyer up in Sleepy Eye, wants to be closer to his sick mother.

Yeah, he offered more than you and...

I'm moving to Florida so--

Bud, no.

I got the funds.

Yeah, just let me call over there, straighten this thing out.

Yeah, so, it's Tuesday.

Figure we'd agree Friday.

If you don't got the money, I'll go ahead and sell to him, the other buyer.

Like I said, he's up in Sleepy Eye.

Take a look at that grinder, will you?

It's making a funny noise.

[ Kn*fe chops ]

[ Knocking on window ]

[ Blow-dryer whirring ]

Geez, hon. Where's your coat?

Hon, did-- did you...

We talked about this.

Yeah, we-- didn't w-- didn't we talk about this?

[ Whirring continues ]

What happened? Something with the car?

Did they find blood?

The car-- no, no.

This is about the shop, yeah?

And-- and we-- we shook on it, Bud and me.

I-I wrote a check for the down payment, and-- and now I-I-I'm hearing...

Hon.

...that-- he said the check bounced-- insufficient funds.

So I call over there, and-- [ Stammers ] We agreed, right?

Well, we never--

I thought...

You told me, but I never...

Well, now there-- there's another buyer up in Sleepy Eye, and he's gonna get the shop.

Well, he can't do that. You shook on it.

Yeah, but the check bounced-- insufficient funds.

We talked about this.

Well, if you mean you talked and then I also talked, then, yeah, I guess.

But not really sure you heard anything I said. - Yeah, I...

[ Vehicle approaches ]

[ Ominous music plays ]

Hon, I'm sorry.

I am.

But, you know, this course, the one I've been telling you about, Lifespring, it's real important.

Yeah, more important than the shop?

Maybe?

I mean, to me.

Well... [ Sighs ]

You got to get the money back right away.

I mean, just call them and tell them you're sorry, but-- but you need the money for...

Ed, it's--

'Cause on Friday he sells to the fella up in Sleepy Eye, and then we're-- we're s... screwed.

Constance: Everything okay?

I need the money back for the course.

Sent that on already.

I need it back!

Ed says we could lose the shop.

Oh, Ed says? Well, then, stop the presses.

[ Clicks tongue ] Come here.

Sit down.

I...

Look in that mirror, hon.

Tell me what you see.

[ Sighs ]

I don't know. A girl?

You get your period?

Then what girl?

That's a woman-- a strong, beautiful, vibrant woman.

And no man should be able to tell you what to do, not with your body or your money.

How much I been paying you here?

$600 a month.

And you've been saving.

Ed and I put away one-third every week, minus the occasional-- so $200, and you gave me $500 for the course, so that's 2 and half months' savings, your money, for you to spend as you please.

[ Sighs ] But I get it.

It's what we do.

We surrender our needs to the needs of men to our great detriment.

But no more. Say it with me.

No more.

No more.

That's right.

You're gonna go to Sioux Falls, and you're gonna take this course, and you're gonna be the best Peggy Blumquist you can be, and no one's ever gonna tell ya how to live your life again.

[ Sighs ]

[ Woman singing operatically in German ]

[ Singing continues ]

[ Singing stops, suspenseful opera music plays ]

[ Music continues, singing resumes ]

[ Music, singing continue ]

[ Vehicle approaches ]

[ Knock on door ]

[ Engine rumbling ]

What the heck?

[ Brakes squeal ]

[ Engine shuts off ]

Ooh.

You need to invite me in.

I could make some coffee.

Uh, none for me, thanks.

I saw your car at the shop.

Yeah, I slipped on some ice on the way to work.

My fault, really.

I was going on about something.

Ran right off the road into a... tree.

Lucky Peggy wasn't k*lled, you know.

Hmm.

Something wrong?

No, I-I just...

[ Chuckles nervously ] I'm sorry.

Uh, come in, sit down, please.

I want to be clear about something.

I can help, but you got to be straight with me.

Well, what, uh...

If I check the car, the interior, I'm not gonna find blood?

Oh.

Well, Ed hurt his neck...

That's why I got the...

...but no blood.

You didn't fight, did you, Ed-- in the w*r?

No, sir.

4-F on account I got the one kidney.

So... [ Sighs ]

There's a look a boy gets when he's been sh*t or a-- or a land mine takes off his legs, and he's laying there in the mud, trying to get up, 'cause he doesn't feel it yet.

I, uh, don't-- - His-- his brain hasn't caught up with the reality, which is... he's already dead.

Ed.

He's scaring me.

But we see it, the rest of us.

And we lie.

We say, "Lay still. You're gonna be fine."

If you'd been to w*r, you'd know the look.

See, you and Peggy, you got the look.

You still think it's Tuesday.

You have no idea what's coming.

Lou, I'm... really trying to be straight with you here.

We hit some ice.

And--

That's all. I mean, it could've happened to anyone.

Ed wasn't even speeding.

That man you hit, his name was Rye Gerhardt.

Hit a tree-- we told ya.

[ Scoffs ]

I-I mean, we were arguing, and ed turned his head.

It happened in a flash.

Rye Gerhardt.

And his family hurts people for money.

And they're coming.

May be here already.

And my point is... 'cause I'm tired of talking-- if you did something, you made a mistake, you panicked, maybe covered it up, now is the time to say-- right now.

'Cause we can still fix this.

But if I'm right, that window's closing, and you may already be dead.

[ Suspenseful music playing ]

Look--

This is--

You're out of line.

I mean, we... we want you to leave.

And no offense, but we're asking you to leave.

Is that true, Ed?

Ed? Is that true? You asking me to leave?

You know, Lou, that's probably for the best, yeah.

It was an accident, that's all.

That's all it was.

Okay.

Do yourself a favor-- lock the door.

♪

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Knock on door ]

[ Door opens ]

Bear: Ma.

Everyone's together.

We need to know.

What do you want to do?

♪

It's w*r.

[ Ominous music plays ]

Hon?

Yeah, it's me.

You should go back to bed, huh?

You expecting someone?

Not really.

Couldn't sleep.

I think you got the real pill.

Yeah?

You hope or you think?

We're just out of balance.

You and me?

Whole world.

Used to know right from wrong...

A moral center.

Now...

You should go in to bed.

I'm gonna sit out here for a while, make sure we're-- I don't know-- safe.

♪ down in the willow garden ♪