03x01 - The Law Of Vacant Places

[bunniefuu]

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(door knocking)

(speaks in German)

(speaks in German)

(paper rustling)

Good.

Good.

(mysterious hymnal music)

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[Emmit] Honestly Buck it's a little embarrassing.

I mean we called the number.

They said if there was ever a problem we should call the number, and well we called it.

And?

A series of clicks and buzzers.

A series of--

Clicks and buzzers.

That's what we got, which--

Couldn't even leave a message.

No message possible.

So we thought--

We thought get Buck back in here, after all he vouched for him.

Well now, let's be, let's call a spade a spade.

I don't know him, don't vouch for him.

I was just a conduit for information.

Like you said "Buck we tried all the normal channels, and we just need a bridge loan to--"

(laughs)

It was last year for Pete's sake.

I met him at the Shriner's.

Sure, okay then.

Everything went great when we met with the broker,

Mr. Ehrmantraut, if I'm not a--

Right, Rick Ehrmantraut.

I got his card in my--

And now we're in the black again, so we called the number to arrange payback and clicks and buzzers.

Maybe there's another number, we're thinking.

Another number where we can at least leave a darn message.

It's a lot of money.

A heck of lot.

And it's just sitting there on the books which--

Can't have that.

Okay then well, thanks for coming in.

Of course.

And did you think about what I asked?

The widow Goldfarb she wants to meet.

- The who?
- I was gonna tell ya.

She's the so called storage queen, sniffing around for a possible silent partner type arrangement.

[Buck] Seems like the real deal.

Money to burn.

Where was she two years ago?

(people clapping)

Friends, friends and Dave.

(people laughing)

I'm not lying when I tell ya,

I still remember the first date.

years ago.

Took her to Fjords in St. Paul, my Stella.

I brought her a lobster the size of a car.

Cost me two weeks wages at the Red Robin, but it was worth it.

And so over shellfish she says "So, where do you live?"

You know, just making conversation and I tell her the address Monroe.

And she gets this funny look on her face.

And she says "Which apartment?"

So I say " ."

And now the look gets even funnier and she says--

I say "What are the odds?"

I lived in that same apartment for three and a half years, I still had the key.

(people laughing)

[Emmit] Of course she never told me that part.

So I come home a week later and what the heck?

She'd moved in!

(people laughing)

And now somehow it's years later and here we are.

And we've got Grace and her husband Dennis.

And life has been to us, more than good.

- Okay.
- Raise a glass to my Stella.

Still lovely as the day we met.

- Stella.
- (people toast)

[Stella]
Thank you.

(people clapping)

[Emmit] Enjoy yourselves come on.

I got you five minutes.

Go get him tiger.

Yeah.

(jazz music)

How we doing?

Good to see you, thanks for coming.

[distant music throughout]

[Sy]
Ray.

(upbeat dramatic music)

You know, congratulations and all that.

Thanks.

Place looks good.

We had the floors re-done.

Oh ya.
That's, uh...

So you said Grace got a--

That's her, her husband now?

Dennis.

There was nothing.

Barely even a wedding.

We did in Cabo on a beach.

They said, invitation said "No Shoes."

Imagine wearing a suit and no shoes.

Still real nice.

But small, only like people.

Ah but you went?

[Emmit]
We had some meetings.

The next day.

Potential investors.

In Cabo?

It's like a resort, super high end.

International businessmen and the like.

[Sy]
Exclusive.

Not for parole officers you mean.

Don't take offense.

Ya, Ray. Geez, don't take offense.

We're just explaining
what happened.

How's the Corvette?

It's a car.

Look I'm getting engaged.

Again?

Don't say that.

I'm sorry I just--

She's real sweet, Nikki.

We're in, you know--

You meet her at work?

(upbeat jazz music)

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(gum pops)

At work yeah.

So, embezzler?

Drug mule?

Why is he here?

He doesn't need to be here.

Sy's always here when the conversations about money.

That's what this is right?

A conversation about money?

I wanna buy her a ring.

So, serious.

And the way I figure it,

- is you still owe me from--
- I owe you?

From what happened when we were kids.

Well now Ray, that's...

I gotta say, your math seems shaky there.

I mean, after the, what was it last quarter, we fronted you for car repairs.

On top of co-signing your mortgage so you could get your apartment.

Not that I mind, happy to help really.

But where does it--

See that's not the way I see it.

That's you paying me back for--

Ray.

The thing is Ray, even if we wanted to, we're--

What Sy's saying is, it's not the best time.

[scoffs]

How about you just give me back my stamp and we'll call it square.

Ray.

No, I'm talking to my brother.

Look, you are lucky I don't sue.

I mean, a legal document which delineates things.

Bequeaths them to specific parties.

A father, dead in a driveway.

An older boy taking advantage of a younger playing--

Nobody took advantage.

It was a trade.

If I had a time machine, you'd see I'd play back the tape.

"Emmit come on, I'm begging ya.

Take the stupid stamps already.

Give me the car."

No, that's not, that was you tricking me.

Ray.

How much did you get for them anyway?

[Emmit]
The whole collection?

I never asked.

What two, three dozen stamps?

Vintage.

- Ray.
- No.

She's a nice girl, a catch.

And she deserves a sweet ring, pricey, so...

Are you gonna do what's right here?

Are you gonna do what's right?

What happened?

Did you get it?

I need a real drink.

Here's the er--

It's not the best time.

He said.

Don't worry, I'm gonna--

I'll handle it.

(guitar music)

Ray?

Sorry.

No tip?

Ya.

Get a real job.

("Crazy On You" by Heart)

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So then we use the Dentist Coup or play a canapé.

And watch out for the Cuthberts, I don't think that cough of his is real.

Whatever happens don't let the Swedes force the Tr*mp check again.

- Babe?
- What?

I'm talking about the Wildcat regional on Thursday.

Top three mixed pairs we qualify for the Upper Wisconsin semi professional next month.

Which top three in that, the sport really opens up for us.

Now hun, you know you're not supposed to leave the state.

I know but couldn't you fix it?

I mean as PO isn't there a form you could sign?

Well see there's a lot of sticky.

I mean, with the first being, technically we're not supposed to be, you know, dating.

And I'm saying it's mission critical to keep that a secret.

So when it comes to signing official forms, I mean, talk about showing your cards.

What are you saying?

No, just as to the legalities.

I mean parolee, parole officer et cetera.

I mean, we're right on the line here.

There's big money to be won hun.

[Ray]
I know.

I'm not just talking a few regionals.

We get ourselves on the map, bridge wise locally in the next few months and I'm talking sponsorship opportunities bordering on six figures.

Then we don't need to borrow money from your stupid brother or nobody else.

Right?

Yeah.

Baby look at me.

We're a team you and me.

Simpatico to the point of spooky.

Like how I always know when you're gonna lead with a hard or backwards finesse.

And you got that putter's instinct for when to drop the Marie Applebaum Discovery Play.

That's true.

You're the hand and I'm the glove.

You're the bottle and I'm the beer.

Or the beer and the glass in my case.

Oh yeah, but I mean it comes in--

No, I know.

Yeah.

Simpatico.

("Crazy On You" continues)

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(upbeat dramatic music)

(clears throat)

(Ennis snoring)

(door knocking)

That's weird huh?

There's a sensor.

You ready?

Yeah.

See you tonight pops?

If macaroni and cheese don't float your boat, might as well stay home.

("Moanin'" by Lambert, Hendricks And Ross)

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So what happened

What could I do?

The land was fallow and we needed grain.

The land was what?

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I didn't even know that was illegal, 'cause who makes the laws anyway.

A person in her own home, on her own property, I mean short of m*rder, shouldn't you be able to, you know, just about anything?

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[billiard balls clacking]

- Maurice?
- (groans)

Maurice?

Huh?

[Ray] You blew your piss test pal.

Oh bummer.

Look--

Thing like that, normally that gets you right away revoked but I thought call him up, see what he has to say.

Cool.

Cool.

Hey, why are we meeting in a bar?

I mean not in your office.

Hey, I was drinking that.

Let's cut to the quick here.

Your last stretch was six and a half for breaking into rich folks' digs and stealing their flat screens.

Allegedly.

No moron.

How it works is when they convict you, it turns into a fact.

Now look, I gotta,
I gotta pla--

Hey! Dickhead!

Huh?

I gotta place, turns out a place that needs some robbing.

A little robbing, not wholesale burglary, just a specific--

Just looking for a certain item.

And if you do it, well let's just say your little problem goes up in smoke.

What are we talking about?

A stamp.

A stamp?

Like a...

postage stamp?

[Ray]
Yeah.

Cool.
Cool.

So I mean, I know I'm the moron but--

It's not that kind of stamp numb nuts.

It's a vintage stamp, it's got you know, sentimental value for me.

It's my stamp.

Your stamp.

But it's, you know, at someone else's house temporarily.

Cool, cool.

So why not just ask for it back?

Well it's, you know, complicated.

Just get the damn stamp.

(phone ringing)

[Emmit]
What's cooking?

[Sy] You need to come down here.

Nine o'clock at night isn't it?

[Sy] Er number, ticks and buzzers.

He came.

Who?

[Sy] Well now, the fella from the--

Ehrmantraut?

[Sy]
No, different fella.

Don't wanna say too much on the phone just--

You better come down here.

[Stella]
Everything okay?

Gotta go to the office, hun.

Hun?

You're in your house shoes.

[Emmit]
Good call.

(upbeat dramatic music)

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You ever think about how they never put the morgue on the top floor of a hospital?

I notice stuff like that.

It's always in the basement.

It's like its own elevator.

[Shrink] And...

how does that make you feel?

Huh? No.

You asked me how I define the person called me.

And I'm saying, I'm always having thoughts of...

What do ya?

Insightful.

For example, where does the President of United States buy his clothes?

Do they shut down like a whole JC Penney?

Just so he can try on a suit.

[Shrink] There's a tailor, he comes to the White House.

Now see, I didn't know that.

[Shrink] Let's focus.

So when you say your parole officer was mean to you before,

how did that make you feel?

You know, just not good, you know.

I mean here I am, I'm trying, you know.

Not hurting anybody, anymore.

So...

(coughs)

[Shrink] Are you getting high?

(coughing)

No.

Oh sh*t.

[Shrink] Maurice?

Ah hell.

(dramatic music)

No, no, no, no!

Goddammit.
Son of a bitch.

(tires squealing)

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(snow crunching)

What the sh*t?

God blast.

Ah screw it, I remember.

(upbeat dramatic music)

I put him in your office.

Oh geez.
Who?

Didn't get a name.

Here from the lender he said.

I told him it was late, but he just got off a plane so--

Hey there.

Emmit Stussy, thanks for a--

Well.

Honestly we didn't know if our message had--

You called the number?

Ya, like I said we didn't--

All you get when call--

Clicks and buzzers.

Which, hard to leave a--

But good news, you're here and we're in the black now.

Stussy Corp and well your firm was nice enough to--

Mr. Ehrmantraut, your broker, he arranged for your firm to lend us that money last year.

We're happy to say we're ready to pay it back in full.

That's alright.

I'm sorry.

You keep it.

(laughs)
Keep it?

Yeah.

I apologize, I didn't catch your name.

I'm VM Vargas.

And you work for--

With Narwhal yes.

Well now.

It's, see your firm, Narwhal, like I said last year, we borrowed a hefty sum.

And I know you're not bona fide FDIC, but I mean, unless you boys do business differently in...

Where you from?

America.

Well in America normally when you lend somebody money--

If that were us, he's saying, in your shoes, well I'd expect the money back with interest.

Which we're happy to--

Like I say we got it.

I just need to know where to send the check.

Or a wire transfer if you--

Exactly just give us the digits.

Investment.

One more time?

Well you called it a loan, it wasn't a loan, it was an investment.

We are investors.

Investors?

The problem I think, is you're confusing the word singularity with the word continuity.

[Emmit]
What's that now?

The word begin and the word end, are these the same?

No but--

Then why talk about ending something that's only just begun.

See now, the document we signed last year--

When we met with your broker.

Mr. Ehrmantraut.

Buck Olander introduced us and he said, your broker--

We were very specific about a short term--

And nowhere in the document did it say anything about, and believe me, I'm a lawyer, so you know,

I vetted it very--

A document is just a piece of paper.

Legally binding actually.

A contract.

To be clear, you had a problem as you said last year.

The real estate business, well this is a bad business.

So you tried the normal channels, the banks, but you're companies still failing so you come to us.

[Sy]
For a loan.

You never thought to ask why we might lend you one million dollars with no collateral required?

See, no, we were under the impression--

Our fundamentals are strong.

Our holdings--

My point is that was the time for questions yes.

Not this.

Now we've taken the past year to study your business.

Properties, cash flow,

so we can better disguise our activities.

Look, we just wanna pay the money back and you know, be on our way.

As I said, the first sum was an investment for you to keep.

All future funds will be run through the front office, the same as other Stussy income.

A few thousand a month, more or less, now I can get you the specs and instructions.

We'll have to account for the comings and goings in your software.

We already have access to your--

To your system.

So we can monitor your activity.

Make sure you're adjusting.

(stammers)

And it goes without saying, you're not to mention this to anybody.

(dramatic music)

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[Ennis] Happy Birthday or whatever.

Uh, cool.

The trash is under the sink, if you hate it.

No it's...

What is it?

It's nothing.

Just a dumb thing I made.

[Gloria] Something special for the clean plate club.

I told you, I don't like strawberries.

More for me then.

So the thinking is absorb the local precinct into the larger county force.

Leaving you jack sh*t.

Language?

No, I'd still be highest ranking local officer just not--

Chief.

Right.

What'd you get there?

A model grandpa made me.

Like I said, it's a stupid carving.

Remember when the time we went camping.

So don't forget you're at your dad's this weekend.

He and Dale are gonna take you to the symphony.

So is Dale my other dad now?

[Gloria]
Well no.

I mean he and your dad haven't been together that long.

But if they got married.

Not legal.

Is it two men?

If they did, well you know how Ennis is my stepfather, married my mom after grandpa passed.

I guess Dale would become your stepfather.

I think.

I honestly don't know how it works.

I know how it works in the Bible.

Another beer pops?

Now you're speaking English.

("Prisencolinensinainciusol" by Adriano Celentano)

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Swango and Stussy.

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Hello boys.

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Dummy.

Sorry.

You're the dummy.

Right yeah.

(gentle music)

[Maurice]
Okay, I got this.

Guy's name was Stussy on something lane.

Midnight Lane?

Ah hell, it was erm, was it Midnight, no.

(coughs)

And the town was ah... goddammit.

And the town was something biblical like Eden Village or Eden...

Eden Valley.

Triple goddam bingo.

[Gloria]
Night pops.

Can I run the siren?

Once, on the highway.

♪ ♪

[Maurice] Hey you got a phonebook?

Ya.

Can I borrow it?

No.

What do you mean no?

Gotta buy something.

I'm not buying anything, just give me the phone book.

No.

- Give the phone book.
- No.

Give me the damn phone book.

Okay.

Stussy, hot damn.

Hey.

That's a public book you know.

(dramatic music)

♪ ♪

(indistinct TV noises)

(indistinct TV noises)

(quiet grunt)

(car motor running)

You see now that always make me feel q*eer reading in the car.

What'd you think about that model your grandpa made ya?

It was pretty sweet huh.

He's a good guy.

I know he drinks too much, but I think deep down we've all of us got something positive inside us, don't cha think?

What's going on?

It's the model. I left the model.

Hun.

It's late, swing by in the morning and maybe pick it up huh.

No, he made it for me.

I have to--

Okay.

Okay, let me flip a b-ward.

(eerie dramatic music)

Back in a sec.

Ennis?

(TV static)

(eerie dramatic music)

Oh geez, I better...

Ennis?

(door creaking)

(heavy footsteps)

Mom?

Go outside!
Go outside now!

- Leave.
- Mom!

Lock the door.

Call Donny and tell him to radio the state police.

I'm gonna search the rest of the house.

No, no mom!

I gotta, I'm chief.

Like I said lock the door.

If you see anyone you lean on the horn okay.

Anybody tries for you, use the pepper spray just like I taught you, it's in the glove.

("Oskus Urug" by Radik Tyulush)

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He was looking for something.

(floorboard creaking)

What the...?

Huh.

What the heck?

(sirens approaching)

(laughing)

Third place.

I know.

We played so good.

I know it was amazing.

So good.

Oh my God, I am so proud of you.

You made such a good job of it.

You're last hands, you played those cards and you were on fire.

(laughing)

(dramatic piano music)

♪ ♪

This is nice.

Huh?

Oh, yeah, amazing.

Third runner up, Wildcat regionals.

Just posted it to my Facebook.

We played good.

We didn't just play good.

That hand I got, ten hearts, that doesn't just happen.

That's, what have you, fate or luck.

Plus my steely gaze.

Striking fear into the hearts of the elderly.

I'm proud of you mister.

You really, you focused.

It's like I said, simpatico.

Third runner up.

In the Olympics that's bronze.

Now see, that's the kind of thinking that's gonna take us straight to the top.

(door creaking)

(eerie music)

Oh.

So, I got 'em Ray.

I did.

But I won't lie, it didn't go smooth.

Ray, there's a man in my bathroom.

Let's not jump to any conclusions.

Are you saying he's not a man or he's not in my bathroom?

[Ray] I'm saying, I can explain.

There was some acting required, in throwing the gas station attendant off my scent but--

There's no smoking in here.

Also, if I'm being honest.

I sure hope that that fella with the stamps wasn't a friend of yours Ray.

'Cause well, let's just say--

When an ex-con threatens ya, demands the goods.

The smart money says co-operate.

That wasn't part of the--

Nobody said anything about hurting--

Ray!

Look at me, what did you do?

Nothing. Just give me a second.

Hey! Shitbird!

What did you do?

Nothing, just what ya asked.

Drove out to Eden Valley and robbed your guy, the rich one.

Although I gotta say the place wasn't exactly a palace.

- Prairie.
- Come again?

- Eden Prairie.
- Huh?

Ray, did you hire one your parolees to steal money from your brother?

No.

Not money.

Just...

Just taking back what's mine.

The stamp.

I told you that,how he bamboozled me out of a fortune and I just--

All these years I just...

Let it go, but no more.

You need a ring.

This is our time.

That is so... romantic.

Come here.

That is so sweet.

Although I gotta say, brother must have been from another mother

'cause man was he old.

What are you talking about?

What matters is, is I got what you asked.

And now you can, we can tear up the piss test and you can--

I should probably get out of town for a while.

If I'm being honest given the level of uncooperation and consequences thereof.

What the sh*t is this?

It's, what are ya, it's stamps.

What did you do?

Listen, don't be-- putting your hands on me, you're raising the tone of your voice, not after the night I had.

You didn't, do--

The risk I took on account of you.

Your needs.

Emmit Stussy.

Eden Prairie, it's a short drive.

I wrote it down.

No you said--

Look I did what you said.

The address on the Eden Valley, I looked it up.

And now--

I'm out of pocket here Ray.

I've got--

I think I covered my tracks pretty good.

And look, since you touched me, I'm gonna have to demand a dollar value.

Five thousand.

Which is more than fair, considering the fella we robbed is probably dead.

What's your name handsome?

Well now, I'm not sure I should tell ya.

On account of I've gotta think about

covering my tracks here.

Darling I've seen your face.

And Ray knows your name so--

It's Maurice.

Okay Maurice, You get me a towel and maybe we can discuss this in the living room, like civilized people.

Ray...

The g*n.

(grunting)

You tricked me.

You got--

I'm giving ya 'til tomorrow to get my money.

Five thousand.

Otherwise, well maybe I turn you into the cops.

Or sh**t ya, or her.

Robbing your own brother.

That's just low.

(dramatic music)

You don't tell Maurice what to do.

Now hun, let me explain.

Hun?

Hun?

[Nikki] Three floors, seconds per floor.

[Ray]
Hun, what are you?

[Nikki] Cross the front hall, eight seconds.

- Babe.
- Not now.

Hun what are--

Quiet, I'm counting.

, , , , .

(dramatic percussion music)

, , , ,

, , , , ,

, , , , ,

, , , ,

, , , , ,

.

Can you believe this guy?

I gave him a simple--

I even wrote down the damn--

And now just my--

Just my damn luck.

[Nikki]
, , .

Ah suck off.

, , , .

- Son of a bastard.
- , , .

- Short drive my ass.
- , .

Is he out?

What?

The other window, do you see him?

(dramatic percussion music)

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Ya.
He's coming hurry.

♪ ♪

(loud cr*ck)

(loud crash)

(car alarm blares)

Did you see that?

Oh my god.

Get down, or someone'll see.

I mean right in the--

No way--

Game over.

Holy sh*t.

What are you?

Yes .

There's been an accident, on the sidewalk, the air conditioner.

Get dressed you've gotta go.

What?

Oh thank God.

It's Hannover Street, hurry please.

It was an accident.

I've been trying to get the landlord to take that unit out for like six weeks, it's on record.

And tonight I don't know, it must have come loose somehow.

You're his parole officer, you can't be here.

Ya but-- what happens when?

I gave a fake name when I rented the place.

I got ID.

Now that's--

Babe, that's a violation of your probation.

Ray?

Oh right yeah.

Good call.

We'll talk about this later.

You, you're sexy.

Yes officer, I'll stay on the line.

Don't forget the stamps.

What?

The stamps.

Stamps, yeah.

Burn 'em, okay.

Okay.

I love you.

Baby you have no idea.

- (sirens wailing)
- Yes I hear the sirens.

Thank you.

Back stairs.

Yes, I'll hold.

("S.O.B." by Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats)

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Your dad's here.

You take him to Dale's, I'm not sure how long--

[Ron]
Whatever you need.

I already turned the lights on in his room.

I wanna stay with mom.

No hun, mommy's gotta work now.

♪ ♪

(whispering)

Let's say no school tomorrow, huh?

Yeah.

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