MUSIC IN:
INT. KIDWELL HOUSE - DAY
(DOOR CLOSES)
LAURA: (V.O.) They wouldn't even tell Sarah how he d*ed.
O'DONNELL: (V.O.) I'm sure his command had a good reason.
LAURA: (V.O.) Maybe, but if it was my husband... I'd want to know.
O'DONNELL: (V.O.) I still can't believe Jim's dead. It's almost like he's standing here with us.
LAURA: How's Sarah handling it?
(CAMERA PANS TO SARAH ON THE COUCH)
(SFX: PHONE RINGS)
SARAH: (INTO PHONE) Kidwell residence.
KIDWELL: (V.O./FILTERED) This is Jim.
SARAH: Who? Who is this? What are...?
KIDWELL: (V.O./FILTERED) Sarah, this is Jim....don't believe...don't believe them.
(SARA DROPS THE PHONE TO THE FLOOR)
O'DONNELL: Sarah!
VOICE: (V.O./FILTERED) Sarah! Sarah! It's Jim! I'm not....I'm not dead!
(MUSIC OUT)
(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)
FADE IN:
EXT. NCIS f*ring RANGE
"MARINE DOWN"
RANGE OFFICER: (OVER P.A.) sh**t at the ready position.
TONY: Nervous, Kate?
KATE: Shaking.
(SFX: HORN)
(SFX: g*nf*re)
RANGE OFFICER: (OVER P.A.) Cease fire! Cease fire! Clear and lock all weapons! All locked. Now sh**t check your targets.
KATE: (V.O.) Are you nervous, Tony?
TONY: Nice tactical reload. You only got your guy twice. I win.
KATE: What are you talking about? You sh*t the hostage's ear off.
TONY: She'll live.
KATE: Yeah, without an ear.
GIBBS: Not bad. Both of you, not bad. Of course these targets don't sh**t back.
KATE: That must be next week.
GIBBS: Kate I think you're holding back. sh**t with confidence. Relax your shoulders. Tony, that's a nice grouping.
TONY: So I win.
GIBBS: Oh, we're just getting warmed up. Give me your cover.
TONY: What for? Right.
(TONY GIVES HIS HAT TO GIBBS)
TONY: Oh, come on, boss! I've been breaking that cap in for three months. I love that cap!
KATE: Then don't sh**t it.
GIBBS: Did you back this up?
KATE: Oh, no no, Gibbs. Come on. My whole life is in that thing! Gibbs some on.
GIBBS: Then don't sh**t it.
KATE: If we screw this up I have a suggestion.
TONY: What?
KATE: We break into Gibbs' basement and we set his boat on fire.
TONY: That's cold, Kate. I knew there was a reason I liked you.
(SFX: PHONE RINGS)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Gibbs. Yeah, we're on it.
TONY: What's up?
GIBBS: A Marine wife buried her husband yesterday. Somebody thought it would be fun to call her up on the phone and harass her.
KATE: Since when do we investigate crank calls?
GIBBS: Since the guy calling is claiming to be her dead husband.
RANGE OFFICER: (V.O./FILTERED) On the f*ring line. Ready on the right. Ready on the left. Ready on the...
GIBBS: (OVERLAP) Fire. Steady under pressure.
TONY: I'll bring the lighter fluid.
KATE: Deal.
(SFX: HORN)
(SFX: g*nf*re)
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
ABBY: (V.O.) Very cool. Where can I get one of these?
TONY: You can have that one.
ABBY: Really? Thanks. So you said you needed help?
TONY: Yeah, I'm trying to pull up the records on a dead Marine but my security access won't go through.
ABBY: That's because computers can sense fear, Tony. Name?
TONY: Major Jim Kidwell. He was working at Quantico, Mobile Training Teams. This is his social. Is that a new perfume, Abby?
ABBY: Yep. I made it myself. Do you like it?
TONY: It smells like gunpowder.
ABBY: Sweet, huh?
TONY: Hmm.
ABBY: Here's your problem.
TONY: What?
ABBY: Your security clearance isn't high enough. How did he die?
TONY: That's kind of what Gibbs wants me to find out.
ABBY: It sucks to be you.
(SFX: TONY POUNDS ON THE KEYBOARD)
CUT TO:
INT. KIDWELL LIVING ROOM
GIBBS: In most of these cases, the caller turns out to be someone you know - old boyfriend, co-worker.
SARAH: Listen, I know it sounds crazy. But the voice? I could swear it was Jim's.
KATE: Sometime in situations like that, you hear what you think sounds like someone you know..
GIBBS: (OVERLAP) I'd like to put a trace on your phone, Mrs. Kidwell, in case he calls back.
SARAH: What happens if it's Jim?
(SFX: DOOR BELL)
(SARAH WALKS TO THE DOOR)
SARAH: Excuse me.
KATE: It couldn't have been her husband, could it?
(DOOR OPENS)
SARAH: Hi, guys.
LISA: Hi.
TRACY: Hi.
SARAH: Why don't you guys go outside and play?
LISA: It's okay. I'll be along in a minute.
TRACY: (V.O.) Okay, Mommy.
(CHILDREN WALK O.S.)
SARAH: Agent Gibbs, Agent Todd, this is Lisa Peary. Her husband was in the same unit as Jim's. They um...
LISA: d*ed together.
KATE: You have our sympathies.
LISA: What we'd really like is some answers. You know, we accepted the fact that our husbands couldn't always tell us where they were, what they were doing. We played the game. We were good Marine wives.
SARAH: You have to understand, all we got back were two sealed caskets.
LISA: And now Sarah gets this call from Jim.
KATE: Or someone impersonating him, Mrs. Peary.
LISA: We don't even know how they d*ed. Are you telling me you wouldn't start to wonder?
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
GIBBS: What did you find out about our dead Marine?
TONY: He was involved in classified stuff.
GIBBS: And?
TONY: No and. I didn't have high enough clearance to access the records.
KATE: What's your clearance?
TONY: Confidential.
KATE: Confidential? What did you do, k*ll someone in high school?
TONY: Ha! Not funny, Kate. No, they screwed up my paperwork with another agent's.
GIBBS: DiNozzo d*ed in a car crash last month. Very tragic.
TONY: They yanked my clearance. Now I've got to take a physical to get it back.
KATE: Why is that?
TONY: To prove that I'm still alive.
GIBBS: Any luck?
KATE: Access denied! And I was cleared for Air Force One.
GIBBS: So was an Al Qaeda operative.
TONY: Gibbs will get in. He's got clearance that will let him see the dead aliens at Area Fifty One.
KATE: Because he probably k*lled them.
(SFX: KEYBOARDING/ COMPUTER BEEP TONES)
GIBBS: Hm. Looks like someone is deliberately blocking us.
KATE: Or a glitch. Everything doesn't have to be a conspiracy against NCIS, guys.
GIBBS: Are you saying we're paranoid, Kate?
KATE: If the shoe fits.
(PHONE RINGS)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs. Uh-huh. I know where it is. Mm-hmm.
(GIBBS HANGS UP THE PHONE)
GIBBS: That was Kidwell and Peary's commanding officer. We are being blocked.
KATE: Okay, I admit. That is strange.
GIBBS: He wants to meet with us.
TONY: When?
GIBBS: Right now. Come on. Let's roll.
TONY: Thanks for the new cap, Kate.
KATE: Not a problem. I only wish my warranty covered b*ll*ts.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
WALSH: (V.O.) I appreciate you meeting me out here. I wanted to keep this conversation off the record.
GIBBS: Why is that, Colonel Walsh?
WALSH: Because Kidwell and Peary were good men.
KATE: Their widow's seem to think so.
WALSH: I want to keep it that way. Are you familiar with mobile training teams?
TONY: Sure, they serve as m*llitary advisors for foreign countries.
WALSH: Among other things. Kidwell and Peary were working out of country. Op was classified, but had nothing to do with their deaths.
GIBBS: Why seal the records then?
WALSH: Because of the way they d*ed. Look, when you work with a foreign m*llitary, you kind of have to go native. You have to live and breathe the culture. Kidwell and Peary tended to take that approach to the extreme.
GIBBS: Define extreme.
WALSH: We found them in a brothel. They had a dispute with one of the local prostitutes. She poisoned them.
GIBBS: With what?
WALSH: Local police said formaldehyde.
TONY: Formaldehyde?
WALSH: She put it in their drinks.
KATE: So you used the classified nature of the operation to cover it up.
WALSH: I didn't exactly want to call Lisa and Sarah and tell them that their husbands d*ed because they pissed of a whore.
TONY: Probably a good call.
WALSH: Look, they weren't angels but they were damn good Marines. I'd rather they be remembered that way.
GIBBS: Any idea why someone would call Mrs. Kidwell and impersonate him?
WALSH: None, but I hope you catch that son of a bitch. Look, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work.
GIBBS: Just one more thing, Colonel. I'm still going to need to see their records.
WALSH: I just told you what happened.
GIBBS: Yeah. Yeah, you did.
WALSH: I'll see what I can do.
(WALSH WALKS O.S.)
KATE: His body language matches that of someone telling the truth.
(PHONE RINGS)
GIBBS: Or he's one hell of a liar. (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs.
(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (INTO PHONE) The techs that installed the phone trace at the Kidwell's found something interesting.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) What did you find?
ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) There was already a trace on the line.
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (INTO PHONE) And it's pretty sophisticated stuff.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Were you able to track it?
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (INTO PHONE) Almost, the tracking software lost it around Dumfries, Virginia. That's right outside of...
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) The Marine base at Quantico.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
KATE: Where's he going?(GIBBS WALKS TOWARD THE BUILDING)
CUT TO:
INT. TRAINING TEAM OFFICE
TRAVIS: Can I help you, Sir?
GIBBS: NCIS. We need to talk to your C.O., Lieutenant Colonel Walsh.
TRAVIS: He's in a meeting right now, Sir.
GIBBS: Here?
TRAVIS: (V.O.) Sir, I don't think you heard me.
TONY: Oh, he heard you.
TRAVIS: (V.O.) Sir!
(ALL WALK DOWN THE CORRIDOR)
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE - DAY
(DOOR OPENS)
GIBBS: Where's Colonel Walsh?
WALSH TWO: Right here.
(MUSIC OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. WALSH'S OFFICE - DAY
GIBBS: Someone is going to a lot of trouble over a crank phone call, Colonel.
KATE: Like an illegal wire tap on Sarah Kidwell's phone.
TONY: And a guy pretending he's you.
GIBBS: I want to know why.
WALSH TWO: That makes two of us, Agent Gibbs. You think I like getting Marines back in boxes?
GIBBS: Why don't we start with how Major Kidwell and Peary d*ed?
WALSH TWO: That's a "need to know".
GIBBS: Trust me, I need to know.
WALSH TWO: Unfortunately it seems I don't. Their records are sealed and every inquiry I've made has been sh*t down.
GIBBS: You have two dead Marines, Colonel. Are you trying to tell me you don't know how they d*ed?
WALSH TWO: This is an Admin Command. When my teams deploy, they can be working for any one of a dozen agencies. They don't report to me.
GIBBS: Who did Kidwell and Peary report to?
WALSH TWO: Officially the State Department.
GIBBS: Unofficially.
WALSH TWO: You'll have to figure that one out for yourselves, Agent Gibbs.
GIBBS: Now what does that sound like to you, Tony?
TONY: It sounds like one of the A's. CIA, NSA.
GIBBS: About those boxes you got back, Colonel?
WALSH TWO: What about them?
GIBBS: Did you stop to see if your men were inside them? Or is that need to know, too?
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. STAIRS - DAY
GIBBS: We're being played, Sir.
MORROW: So it seems. The question is why?
GIBBS: Either they d*ed doing something they weren't supposed to be doing or Kidwell made that phone call.
MORROW: There is a third alternative. They d*ed on a classified mission serving their country.
GIBBS: I don't buy it, Sir. Someone wants us off this case. There's got to be a reason.
MORROW: This isn't the first time we've bumped up against other agencies out in the field. There's always a reason.
GIBBS: This time there is a couple of Marine wives caught in the middle, Sir.
MORROW: What do you suggest?
GIBBS: I need your help to gain access to their records.
MORROW: I'll make some calls. In the meantime, see what you can find out about this phony colonel of yours.
(MORROW WALKS O.S.)
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS SQUAD ROOM - DAY
TONY: (V.O.) Make the eyes bigger, Abby.
KATE: No! The eyes are fine. It's the nose that needs to be bigger, Abby.
TONY: Okay, I'll get an APB out on Pinocchio right away.
ABBY: You guys...
GIBBS: Welcome to my world, Abby.
ABBY: Thank you, Gibbs.
GIBBS: Anyone want to explain this?
KATE: Tony and I were just discussing the shape of our bogus Colonel's face.
TONY: Mmm, we haven't quite settled on the nose yet, though.
GIBBS: Yeah, I can see that, DiNozzo.
TONY: Uh listen, boss, we need a few more minutes, so if you want to go grab a coffee or...
GIBBS: I have a better idea. Pull Kidwell and Peary's LES's for me. Kate and I will...
KATE: I can do that. That is if you want me to. It's just that Tony seems to have a better handle on the program here.
GIBBS: Okay. How do we reset this, Ab?
KATE: (V.O.) What's an L-E-S?
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS LAB - DAY
TONY: Leave and Earnings Statement.
KATE: And where would one...
TONY: Marine Corps Finance Center, Kansas City. What's the deal?
KATE: Thanks.
CUT TO:
INT. KATE'S DESK - DAY
KATE: (INTO PHONE) That's correct. Major James Kidwell and Major Craig Peary. I need their Leave and Earnings Statements for the last couple of years. Fax is fine. Attention Special Agent Todd. Thanks, Sergeant.
CUT TO:
INT. ABBY'S DESK - DAY
TONY: Make the chin a little bigger, Abby, and I think we'll have him. That's him!
GIBBS: Yeah, sure is.
KATE: Ducky! Nice. While you were playing I sketched our fake colonel.
ABBY: Whoa! I didn't know you were an artist. That rocks!
GIBBS: I'm impressed.
TONY: Let me see that. What the--?
KATE: That's personal.
TONY: Yeah, it is. Do I really seem like that?
GIBBS: I'm really impressed now.
(TONY FLIPS THE PAPER)
KATE: Abby, I didn't mean anything by that. It's...
ABBY: I love that! You gotta let me hang it up.
TONY: I can't wait to see the one you did of Gibbs.
KATE: Oh, just give me that. Uh... so Kansas City said it would take twenty four hours to get the Leave and Earnings Statements.
GIBBS: You've got twelve. I want them first thing in the morning. Abby, run his likeness through. We'll concentrate on Government employee databases and D-O-D personnel.
ABBY: You got it, Gibbs.
KATE: What does he expect to find from their L-E-S's?
TONY: Come on, Kate. That's like NCIS one oh one.
KATE: You have no idea, do you?
TONY: Not a clue.
CUT TO:
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS STANDS NEAR THE GRAVE MARKER)
(SFX: CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
GIBBS: Kate, twelve hours was up fifteen minutes ago.
TONY: Next time, have them fax them in order.
KATE: Point taken. Gibbs, are you going to tell us what these are for?
SARAH: Agent Gibbs?
GIBBS: Mrs. Kidwell.
SARAH: There was another phone call.
O'DONNELL: And this time we have proof that Jim's still alive.
O'DONNELL: (V.O.) Jim left a message on my machine...
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS LAB - DAY
O'DONNELL: ...the same day he called Sarah.
TONY: The funeral?
O'DONNELL: Yes. With everything that was going on I didn't have time to check my messages until this morning.
GIBBS: You seem pretty confident that's Kidwell, Major.
O'DONNELL: I've known Jim since we were Second Lieutenants at The Basic School. It's his voice, Agent Gibbs.
GIBBS: Well, we're about to find out. Abby?
ABBY: Ah! Sorry.
GIBBS: Let's see what you've got.
ABBY: Okay. This... this is the old school version.
KIDWELL: (ON TAPE/FILTERED) Danny... tell Sarah... trust... got... find Peary... call mobile.
GIBBS: You can tell it's him from that?
ABBY: Well, lucky for you, you've got a mix master in the hizzouse.
GIBBS: A what?
TONY: It means house. You need to get out more, Gibbs.
ABBY: Word. Okay, here's the filtered version.
KIDWELL: (ON TAPE/FILTERED) Danny, tell Sarah... trust...got... find Peary. Call mobile.
ABBY: I ran it against six word samples I have from the Kidwell's home videos. They didn't match.
TONY: So it's not Kidwell on the tape?
ABBY: That's what I thought at first, too, but I forgot to factor in the phone line. Ma Bell eliminates any frequency that's below four hundred hertz and above three thousand four hundred. It allows for moderate distance transmission. That's why when people think they sound differently on the phone, they do. It's all about the band.
GIBBS: Mix master. Today.
KIDWELL: (ON TAPE/FILTERED) Danny....tell Sarah...trust...got...find Peary...call mobile.
ABBY: We've got a dead man calling.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM
(SFX: MEN WHEEL THE COFFIN INTO THE ROOM)
TONY: Sorry I couldn't help you with the digging, boys. Old pro basketball injury.
KATE: You played pro ball?
TONY: Well, I was watching a game while it happened. Top's been screwed shut, boss.
KATE: They obviously didn't want anyone looking in before the funeral.
TONY: Or getting out.
O'DONNELL: I don't see why Sarah can't be present for this.
GIBBS: Do you know what's in this box, Major O'Donnell?
O'DONNELL: No, but it's not Jim Kidwell unless he's figured out a way to make calls from the grave.
GIBBS: Well, you know what - we're going to find out.
KATE: Don't we have to wait for Ducky?
GIBBS: Kate, if there's a body in here, it's not going anywhere.
(SFX: POWER SCREWDRIVER B.G.)
TONY: I'm just hoping it's not another mummy.
(SFX: POWER SCREWDRIVER B.G.)
(SFX: LID OPENS)
O'DONNELL: Oh, my god!
TONY: I've got to admit, I wasn't expecting that.
KATE: He looks alive.
O'DONNELL: It's uh... it's Jim.
(MUSIC OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. NCIS SQUAD ROOM
(SFX: SARAH SOBS B.G.)
KATE: We sure screwed that up.
TONY: Yep. Still doesn't explain the cover up and fake Colonel.
KATE: They're called Classified Ops for a reason, Tony. We'll probably never know.
TONY: The phone call? Your calling plan include the afterlife, Kate?
KATE: Voice recognition isn't an exact science.
TONY: Neither is Gibbs' gut, and he's convinced there's more going on here than a crank call.
KATE: Well, I hate to break it to you, Tony, but Gibbs can be wrong sometimes.
TONY: Name once.
KATE: The man's been married like four times.
TONY: There is that.
GIBBS: There is what?
TONY: Nothing, boss. Just discussing the case.
KATE: Or a lack thereof. Do you still want to take a look at those L-E-S's?
GIBBS: I don't know. Have you figured out how Kidwell d*ed yet?
KATE: I'll um... I'll just get them in order for you.
GIBBS: Kate? It was three times. Not four.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY
DUCKY: I'm afraid we've got a bit of a mystery here, Gibbs.
GIBBS: Tell me something I don't know, Duck.
DUCKY: Our major appears to be in perfect health.
GIBBS: Except for the part where he's dead. I need to know how and when.
DUCKY: How I'm still working on. When is another question entirely. Yes, the young man has been embalmed.
GERALD: And whoever did the job was definitely a pro.
TONY: How can you tell?
GERALD: My grandfather owned a funeral home. We spent a lot of quality time bonding over the embalming table.
DUCKY: Do you know what a trocar is, Tony?
TONY: I'm guessing it's not an alien on Star Trek?
DUCKY: It's from the French trocar. Three quarts. It's used to enter the abdominal cavities so that the lungs and other major organs can be drained of fluids. But as you can see, whoever did this barely left a mark.
TONY: He does look good for a dead guy.
DUCKY: Well, skin tone is simulated by dyes. Every mortician has his own family recipe. This is one of the best I've seen.
GIBBS: Can you tell me when he d*ed?
DUCKY: He's been perfectly preserved. He could have d*ed days ago or even months. It's impossible to tell which.
GIBBS: Official cause of death is listed as in the line of duty two weeks ago.
DUCKY: Well, two weeks I can believe. But L-O-D usually implies an accident or an injury received in combat. Look, besides minimal bruising of the wrists, really, there's no sign of any external trauma, and his insides...oh, outside of the embalming process there's no evidence of any internal injury.
GIBBS: There's a rumor going around he might have been poisoned.
DUCKY: That's possible. But the tox screens wouldn't be able to detect it.
TONY: Why's that?
DUCKY: His blood's been replaced by embalming fluid, formaldehyde, methanol, ethanol. Looking for another toxin would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.
GIBBS: A dead Marine with no obvious cause of death and someone who didn't want us digging him up. Give you any ideas, Ducky?
DUCKY: One in particular does come to mind.
GIBBS: Me, too. Keep looking. I'll need an answer soon.
DUCKY: He's talking about m*rder, gentlemen.
TONY: I knew that.
DUCKY: (TO KIDWELL) I don't suppose you'd be willing to phone me, Major, and tell me how?
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
KATE: Kidwell's Leave and Earning statements are on top. Two years worth. Now what?
GIBBS: Even top secret spooks get paid.
KATE: And this will help us because...?
GIBBS: The government records everything, Kate. Days at sea, when they received hazardous duty and combat pay. Divorces. His records may be sealed, but if we follow his paycheck...
KATE: We'll find out where he was stationed.
TONY: And who was paying him.
GIBBS: You have one hour to break that down for me.
KATE: Oh, red tape that is actually useful. Who knew?
TONY: Gibbs. But you know what really ticks me off?
KATE: Gibbs?
TONY: No. These guys get paid more than I do.
(SFX: PHONE RINGS)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Gibbs.
LISA: (V.O./FILTERED) I don't appreciate being interrogated, Agent Gibbs.
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Well why don't we start with, who is this?(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
LISA: (INTO PHONE) Lisa Peary. Don't you think I would have told you if Jim Kidwell called me?
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Well, exactly who is interrogating you, Mrs. Peary?
(SCENE CUT)
LISA: (INTO PHONE) He said his name's Agent DiNozzo.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) When did this happen?
(SCENE CUT)
LISA: (INTO PHONE) He's here right now.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Where?
(SCENE CUT)
LISA: (INTO PHONE) Coleman Park.
GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) We'll be there in fifteen minutes. Does he know...
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE)...I'm on the phone talking to you?
(SCENE CUT)
LISA: (INTO PHONE) No, I don't think so.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) See if you can't keep him there until I get there.
(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY
DUCKY: Interesting, Gerald. (SHOUTS) Gerald!
GERALD: I'm sorry. I was listening to a football game.
DUCKY: You're wearing a CD player. Are you trying to tell me you find me boring? Never mind. What do you make of this material filling the incision cavity?
GERALD: Well, my grandfather normally used cotton, but in a pinch we sometimes packed it with old newspaper.
DUCKY: To Abby, please.
GERALD: Sure. Right away.
(GERALD WALKS O.S.)
DUCKY: Football. Honestly. (b*at) Oh, dear Lord. I believe I know how you d*ed, Major. And may the Lord have mercy on your soul.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. PARK - DAY
GIBBS: Mrs. Peary.
LISA: Ah, I tried to keep him here but I think he knew something was up.
GIBBS: Does this look like the man?
LISA: Yes. If he doesn't work for NCIS, who does he work for?
GIBBS: I don't know but I promise you I'm going to find out. Which way did he go?
LISA: Five minutes ago. Wearing a black windbreaker.
GIBBS: Take your kids home. I'll be in touch.
LISA: Kids, let's go! Come on!
(VOICE: "Okay, Mom!")
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. DIRT PATH - DAY
GIBBS: I don't think so.(MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS CHASES MAN)
(GIBBS RUNS DOWN THE EMBANKMENT)
(SFX: g*nf*re)
GIBBS: Son of a...
(SFX: CAR ACCELERATES)
GIBBS: That's twice. Next time you are mine.
KATE: (V.O.) September...
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM
KATE: ...his unit code changed to three zero three seven zero. His D-S-N-N changed to...
TONY: Slow down! Slow down, please!
KATE: How could you work in law enforcement your entire life and not learn how to type?
TONY: I'm a man of action, Kate.
KATE: More like an action figure.
TONY: Why? Do you want to play with me?
KATE: As in you look good but you really can't do much.
TONY: But I look good.
KATE: Uh... Gibbs, is there anything you want to tell us about?
GIBBS: I got sh*t at by our fake Colonel.
TONY: No way! Did you nail him?
GIBBS: Nope. What did you guys find?
KATE: Right. Um...in September Peary and Kidwell were transferred from SATCOM to a new unit.
TONY: We've got the RUC number but they're not listed in Marine Corps database.
GIBBS: They wouldn't be. They weren't working for the Corps. Definitely CIA.
KATE: How do you know that?
GIBBS: How many agencies you know that drive economy class armored cars? Come on. Ducky wants to talk to us.
(GIBBS WALKS TO THE DOOR)
TONY: He's really pissed off.
KATE: What? How can you tell? (LONG b*at) I really need to get better at reading men.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY
DUCKY: It was quite brilliant actually. I almost missed it. But while I was examining the embalming incision, I discovered that the carotid artery showed absolutely no sign of decay. Yes, I once saw a similar case in West Germany where a young boy...
GIBBS: Duck, we don't have time for stories on this one.
DUCKY: Fine. But first, I'd like to ask a question. Do you people find me... boring?
GIBBS/KATE AND TONY: (OVERLAP) No, of course not.
GIBBS: Can we get back to this now?
DUCKY: Yes. I then checked the vitreous for toxins.
TONY: Vitreous?
KATE: Eyeball jelly.
DUCKY: Very good, Kate. The concentrations of methanol confirmed my suspicions. The reason I was unable to determine the cause of death was because our major was alive when they embalmed him.
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS LAB - DAY
ABBY: The stuff inside Kidwell's neck was definitely newspaper. I'm still processing the scraps, most of it's unreadable, but what I do have is in Spanish.
KATE: Well that means that Kidwell and our fake Colonel were probably in Central or South America recently.
ABBY: I could run his likeness past Marine detachments on embassy duty.
GIBBS: Yeah. Run it. Okay, DiNozzo, what's it say?
TONY: Something about farmers markets and shoes required.
ABBY: Yeah, but look at this.
TONY: December twelfth.
KATE: That can't be right. That was two days ago. The funeral was on the...
GIBBS: Eighth.
TONY: So how does a guy get into a coffin that was buried four days before he supposedly d*ed?
KATE: They knew we were going to dig him up.
GIBBS: They k*lled him and hoped we wouldn't notice.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT
KATE: We know Kidwell was m*rder*d.
TONY: And that lying sack of excrement is somehow involved. What? You prefer I call him a sack of--
KATE: The question now is what happened to Major Peary. Is he still alive?
GIBBS: There's an easy way to check.
KATE: What? Do you think Mrs. Peary is just going to give us permission to dig up his grave?
GIBBS: I don't know, Kate. I wasn't planning on asking her.
ABBY: Hey, guys.
GIBBS: Abby, have you tracked this guy down?
ABBY: Not yet, but I've only heard back from about half of the embassies.
KATE: What is this thing, Abby?
ABBY: Ground penetrating radar. Gibbs didn't tell you?
KATE: Tell us what?
ABBY: You're going grave robbing tonight.
CUT TO:
EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT
TONY: This is so not right. I mean, it's not like we couldn't have done this during daylight.
KATE: Are you afraid of ghosts, Tony?
TONY: No, I'm afraid of getting sh*t for trespassing. Where the hell is Gibbs?
GIBBS: Right here.
TONY: Don't do that.
GIBBS: Did you calibrate the radar yet?
TONY: Just about. Check this out. Oh, yeah. Look it.
KATE: What's that by the feet?
TONY: I don't know.
GIBBS: Fluffy.
KATE: Eww!
TONY: That must have been one lonely old lady.
GIBBS: And one pissed off poodle. Okay, bring it over here. Let's see if Major Perry's home.
TONY: All right. Well, the casket's metal, Boss. I'm getting some false signatures, but...there is definitely something in there. And it is not Major Peary.
(MUSIC OUT)
FADE IN:
INT. NCIS SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT
ABBY: You can run but you cannot hide. What's up, Jack? I've got a friend that's looking forward to b*ating you. Courtesy of the Marines at the Colombian Embassy. His name is Jack Canton.
GIBBS: This should be enough to get the director of the CIA out of bed.
(SFX: KATE YAWNS)
GIBBS: Tired, Kate?
KATE: It's two a.m., Gibbs.
GIBBS: Better get moving then.
TONY: On what?
GIBBS: I need to know where the newspaper was published that was found in Kidwell.
KATE: Tonight?
GIBBS: Technically speaking, it's this morning.
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC ROOM - NIGHT
MORROW: Those Marines we were talking about the other day. What were they doing in Colombia, Bob?
DIRECTOR: (ON SCREEN) Well, they were part of a task force that was helping the locals hunt down Carlos Morales. He's the head of the Putumayo drug cartel.
MORROW: How did they die?
DIRECTOR: (ON SCREEN) Poisoned. Insurgents kidnapped them. We paid the ransom, but they k*lled them anyway. It happens.
GIBBS: How much was the ransom, Mister Director?
DIRECTOR: (ON SCREEN) Two million. Why?
(SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONE)
MORROW: Was this the agent responsible for paying it?
DIRECTOR: (ON SCREEN) And if it is?
GIBBS: We think he kept the money for himself. Now he's trying to cover it up.
DIRECTOR: (ON SCREEN) Those are pretty bold accusations, Agent Gibbs. Do you have any proof of this?
GIBBS: Major Peary wasn't in his grave. And Kidwell was alive four days ago. You tell me, Sir.
MORROW: Where is he now, Bob?
DIRECTOR: (ON SCREEN) Well now he's on his way back to Colombia. Look, if any of this turns out to be true, we will handle it. I do not need NCIS playing internal affairs for my agency.
MORROW: Understood.
(SFX: WALL SCREEN OFF)
MORROW: Go get our Marine.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. C-130 - FLYING
(SFX: STORM B.G.)
TONY: I'd like to officially go on record as saying I really, really miss the Gulfstream we took to GITMO. Are you hungry, Kate?(SFX: KATE GAGS B.G.)
KATE: Oh....oh, Tony. Do I look hungry to you?
TONY: Now that you mention it, you kind of look like...(SFX: THUNDER/ BANGING B.G.)
KATE: Tell me that's normal.
TONY: Sure.(SFX: BANGING B.G.)
TONY: Uh, no. That I'm not so sure about.
KATE: Great. How long 'till we get to Colombia?
TONY: Not long. Five, six hours, tops.
KATE: Is he really sleeping or is that just an act.
TONY: No, he's really sleeping.
KATE: How can you tell?
TONY: He looks peaceful.
(PASSAGE OF TIME)
(GIBBS AWAKENS LOUDLY)
GIBBS: Good morning. Sleep well?
KATE: By "well" you mean violently throwing up all night and bouncing around like rag dolls?
TONY: Yeah, boss. We slept very well. Thanks for asking.
GIBBS: Aw...you'll get used to it.
KATE: That's what I'm afraid of.
CO-PILOT: Sir, we'll be landing in about thirty minutes.
GIBBS: Did you hear back from the embassy yet, Staff Sergeant?
STAFF SERGEANT: The Marines are expecting you. They won't let Canton's partner leave his office until you get there.
GIBBS: Okay. My compliments to the pilot. (b*at) What you looking for, Kate?
KATE: Uh... the ladies room.
(TONY CHUCKLES)
KATE: Okay, the men's room.
GIBBS: There's no men's room.
KATE: Well then how the hell am I supposed to go to the bathroom? (b*at) You're kidding, right? No way. Forget it. I can wait.
GIBBS: Okay. Suit yourself.
KATE: Damn it! Where?
GIBBS: Well, if you want some privacy, probably go down behind those boxes there.
KATE: God I miss Air Force One.
CUT TO:
EXT. EMBASSY - DAY
GIBBS: (V.O.) What do you mean you lost him?
CUT TO:
INT. FIELD OFFICE - DAY
GONZALES: We tracked Canton to an insurgent camp. By the time we got there he was gone.
GIBBS: What do you think about that, Kate? Do you think Agent Gonzales here is working for Canton?
KATE: It's possible. Two million can go a long way in Colombia.
GONZALES: If I was rogue do you think I'd be sitting in this office sweating my ass off, Agent Todd?
KATE: I don't know. Let me see your ass.
GONZALES: Canton doesn't even know we're onto him. He's probably going to walk into this door tomorrow.
GIBBS: Yeah, well that's a good plan, except by then Peary'll probably already be dead.
TONY: The newspaper we found on Kidwell was published in Bosa.
GONZALES: That's about ten miles from here.
TONY: How many funeral parlors would you say they have?
GONZALES: What does that have to do with anything?
GIBBS: Humor us.
CUT TO:
EXT. FUNERAL PARLOR - DAY
GONZALES: There's Canton's car out front. How'd you know?
GIBBS: Because he embalmed Major Kidwell when he was still alive.
GONZALES: He's joking, right?
TONY: Canton told your agency the Marines were poisoned two weeks ago.
GONZALES: Yeah, with formaldehyde.
TONY: Well, if Peary's body turns up stabbed, sh*t or beaten, he blows his cover.
KATE: And then there's the time of death. He can't have two day-old bodies. The embalming hides it. The perfect cover up.
GIBBS: No such thing.
GONZALES: I always knew he was a sick bastard, but that's just... hold on, Gibbs. This isn't the U.S. I've got to call the Colombians in on this.
GIBBS: Well, you do that. Tony take the front door. Kate and I will go around back.
GONZALES: Now I know why everyone in the CIA hates these guys.
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY/ KATE AND GIBBS MOVE TOWARD THE FUNERAL HOME)
(CAMERA ANGLE ON PRIEST RECITING PRAYER IN SPANISH)
(ACTION CONTINUES AS THEY MOVE CLOSER TO THE FUNERAL HOME WINDOWS)
(SFX: GIBBS WHISTLES)
(SFX: g*nsh*t)
(MUSIC OVER ACTION CONTINUES AS THEY RUSH INTO THE FUNERAL HOME)
CUT TO:
INT. CHAPEL - DAY
TONY: Get them out of here!
GONZALES: (IN SPANISH) It's an emergency! Get out!
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/KATE AND GIBBS MOVE DOWN THE HALLWAY)
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. DOOR TO BASEMENT - DAY
GONZALES: Are you ready?
(SFX: g*nsh*t)
TONY: Maybe not.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
GIBBS: (SHOUTS) Grenade!
(SFX: expl*si*n)
(CAMERA ANGLE ON PATRONS AS THEY RUSH FROM THE CHAPEL)
(SFX: VOICES B.G. IN SPANISH)
GIBBS: Are you okay?
KATE: I think so. Is that my blood?
GIBBS: No.
CANTON: (V.O.) Gibbs, I know you're out there. Answer me or I'll pop this Marine.
GONZALES: Jack! It's me! Gonzales! I'm coming in!
CANTON: This doesn't concern you, Gonzales. I want Gibbs. Unarmed.
(SFX: g*nsh*t)
(SFX: GONZALES SLUMPS TO THE FLOOR)
CANTON: (V.O.) I said Gibbs. (ON CAMERA) The Marine is next.
GIBBS: If he dies, you die. You don't get past me.
CANTON: Look, I just want to talk to you, okay?
GIBBS: Why don't I believe that?
CANTON: From where I'm standing, you don't have much choice. If you want your Marine back, you deal with me.
GIBBS: Okay. (TO KATE) Relax your shoulders.
CANTON: What's it going to be, Gibbs?!
GIBBS: I'm coming in.
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS WALKS INTO THE ROOM)
CANTON: Two million dollars. It was all mine. But you wouldn't let up. You really think I'm going to let you walk out of here?
GIBBS: I figured you were going to say that.
CANTON: I can't believe you trusted me.
GIBBS: You sound just like my ex-wife.
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/KATE AND TONY FIRE AT CANTON)
(SFX: RAPID g*nshots)
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. PEARY HOUSE - DAY
(SFX: CHILDREN B.G.)
ZACK: Kick the ball straight.
TRACY: Watch me again.(SFX: CAR SLOWS TO A STOP)
(SFX: CAR DOORS OPEN/CLOSE)
ZACK: Daddy! It's Daddy! Daddy! Daddy, I missed you!
TRACY: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!
MAJOR PEARY: Hey! I really missed you. (TO GIBBS) Thank you. Thank you all so much.
LISA: Oh god, what happened to your ear?
MAJOR PEARY: I'll live.
(KATE/ TONY AND GIBBS WALK TO THE CAR)
TONY: I'm telling you, that wasn't my fault, Kate.
KATE: Oh, so it was mine?
TONY: Gibbs saw the whole thing. Let him decide.
KATE: Fine. Ask him.
TONY: I will.
(SFX: CAR SLOWS TO A STOP)
(SFX: HORN HONKS)
(GIBBS DRIVES OFF WITH THE REDHEAD)
(MUSIC OUT)
(ENDING CREDITS AND TITLE UP AND OUT)