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01x23 - Reveille

Posted: 05/28/04 11:02
by bunniefuu
FADE IN:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DREAM SEQUENCE

(SFX: HEART b*at QUICKENS B.G.)

(DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS WALKS THROUGH THE MORGUE TO THE TABLE)

(SFX: ZIPPER)

(CUT TO BLACK)

(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)

FADE IN:

CLOSE ON MONITOR

"REVEILLE"(PHOTOS FLASH ON THE MONITOR)

(CAMERA PANS TO GIBBS)

ABBY: Wake him up.

MCGEE: I don't know. Maybe he needs the rest.

ABBY: He's not resting. Look at him. His eyeballs are disco dancing under those lids.

MCGEE: Disco dancing? Is that back?

ABBY: It's Gibbs. It never left.

GIBBS: McGee should have... hours ago. Norfolk office opens in.... twenty four minutes. It's a hundred and ninety three mile drive.

MCGEE: I was going to call in.

GIBBS: Yeah? And tell them what, McGee?

MCGEE: Well uh...that you needed me to work here today.

GIBBS: Why do I need you here?

MCGEE: Well, because I have an idea on how to speed up the search for him.

GIBBS: I'm listening.

ABBY: Ooh, Gibbs! I dig 'em!

GIBBS: Tell DiNozzo.

MCGEE: The database you're scanning has over ten million photos. It'll take a month to check them all.

GIBBS: Is your idea to depress me, McGee?

MCGEE: No, no, no, no! If we found out his precise age, then we could limit the search to the year he turned twenty one.

ABBY: Seventy three percent of U.K. graduates are twenty one.

MCGEE: And scanning that year would cut down the search to a couple of days.

ABBY: That's a good idea, huh?

GIBBS: Oh yeah. Yeah, it's a hell of a good idea. Just one problem. How are we gonna find his age when we don't know who the hell he is?

ABBY: Would you be less grumpy if you slept in a bed?

GIBBS: No, I would not!

ABBY: I didn't think so.

MCGEE: The FBI has a software program they use on photos of children that have been missing for years to show what they'd look like today.

GIBBS: I know what that assh*le looks like today, McGee.

McGee: I know you do, Boss. But to create that program the FBI needed age specific criteria.

ABBY: So McGee spent half the night using their criteria to develop a program that can tell a person's age from a photo.

MCGEE: I used the FBI algorithms for cordiodal strain, pore size, wrinkles, adipose tissue and the length of the nose and ears.

ABBY: Which keep getting longer the older you get whether or not you wear earrings so you might as well wear them.

GIBBS: This you can do?

MCGEE: I just need a couple hours to put it on your hard drive.

GIBBS: All right. That's worth a hall pass. I'll call Norfolk. He stay at your place?

ABBY: Yeah.

GIBBS: Did you sleep in the coffin, McGee?

(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

MCGEE: Coffin!? You said it was a box sofa bed.

ABBY: Well, it is... sort of.

MCGEE: That's why you wouldn't turn the lights on. I can't believe I slept in a coffin.

ABBY: Not just slept.

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

EXT. PARK - DAY

JOGGER: Hi.

TONY: Hey.(MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY JOGS AFTER THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN)

TONY: Okay. You're on, baby! You're on!(SFX: TONY CHUCKLES)

TONY: Steps. I'll get her on the steps. I'll get her on the steps.

(SFX: TONY BREATHES HEAVILY)

(SFX: ROTOR BLADES B.G.)

TONY: One of those is Marine One. It flies the President.

MARTA: Ja?

TONY: Ja. German?

MARTA: Swedish.

TONY: Even better. Do you speak any English?

MARTA: Ja. Ciao!

TONY: That's funny. Okay. Okay. I gotta get in shape.

CUT TO:

INT. COFFEE HOUSE - DAY

PRESIDENT BUSH: (ON TV) Mister Prime Minister, welcome to the White House.

SACHS: What do you think about what Sharon is doing?

KATE: Assassinating Hamas leaders or pulling settlements out of Gaza?

SACHS: Either. I'm just trying to start a conversation. I'm John. AG department.

KATE: Kate. NCIS.

SACHS: Hi. Really?

KATE: Yes, why?

SACHS: I've never seen you. I'm at NCIS twice a month.

KATE: You are?

SACHS: Yeah. I specialize in actuarial analysis. Hail and storm damage.

KATE: What NCIS do you think I'm with?

SACHS: National Crop Insurance Service.

GIBBS: That's us. Oh, yeah. She's a whiz on how corn losses affect the pork belly futures.

(GIBBS WALKS AWAY)

KATE: My boss. Weird sense of humor.

SACHS: Yeah, I...(KATE WALKS TO GIBBS)

KATE: How corn losses affect pork belly futures?

GIBBS: Rule number seven. Always be specific when you lie.

KATE: Why are you bringing me coffee from your caffeine dealer two blocks away? And don't use rule seven.

GIBBS: Do you want that or not?

KATE: I take my coffee with milk and sweetener.

GIBBS: Taste it.

KATE: It's a little strong.

GIBBS: Strong's better.

KATE: Gibbs, you're making me nervous. Scary scenarios are popping into my head. Like you're here to fire me or to tell me that I'm going undercover as DiNozzo's wife.

GIBBS: I want you to profile a t*rror1st.

KATE: What t*rror1st?

GIBBS: The one you couldn't s*ab.

(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE OF KATE FIGHTING ARI)

KATE: Ducky tell you that? It's true.

GIBBS: Why?

KATE: His eyes. I was looking into his eyes and they looked kind.

GIBBS: They looked kind when he blew out Gerald's shoulder?

KATE: You asked me why I couldn't s*ab him and I told you.

GIBBS: Contrary to conventional wisdom, Kate, eyes can lie. You meet him again, don't forget that.

KATE: I won't. I won't!

GIBBS: Profile him.

KATE: He is not an Islamic fanatic. Never used their rhetoric. No mention of Jihad, Allah, infidels. Whatever drives him, it isn't martyrdom.

GIBBS: Revenge?

KATE: Could be. Maybe money.

GIBBS: A Hamas t*rror1st in it for the money?

KATE: Well, he's not in it for the seventy virgins. He'd have no trouble attracting women. (b*at) Don't go there.

GIBBS: Why money?

KATE: I just get the feeling that he lives large. He was well groomed. Manicured nails. Perfect teeth. Salon style hair. Gibbs, what is it with your hair?

GIBBS: What's wrong with my hair?

KATE: Nothing. Nothing. Your hair is ... you.

GIBBS: Yeah, thank you. What else?

KATE: He's intelligent. Bold. Willing to take big risks.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - FLASHBACK

GIBBS: Why?

ARI: Why not?(SFX: g*nf*re)

CUT TO:

INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY

GIBBS: Why did he give me a chance to k*ll him?

KATE: He had a flack vest. Knew you'd double tap him in the chest.

GIBBS: What if I sh*t him in the head?

KATE: It's a risk he had to take to make his escape plan work.

GIBBS: No, he did not. He could have k*lled me in cold blood. H-R-T comes in, throws a flash bang. Either way he escapes just the same.

KATE: You're right. Why'd he give you a sh*t at him?

GIBBS: He needs to face death to feel alive. Maybe to feel anything.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROAD - DAY

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/ MOTORCYCLE DRIVES FAST)

(SFX: TIRES SCREECH)

(SFX: CYCLE ENGINE OUT)

MARVIN ATWOOD: Nice bike, Mister Craig.

ARI: It's a motorcycle. A bike is something one pedals. Smoky Sam?

MARVIN ATWOOD: Quad launcher. Four missiles.

ARI: Maximum altitude?

MARVIN ATWOOD: Fourteen hundred feet.

ARI: We dogfight well above that.

MCGEE: Unless you're flying ultra lights, Smokey Sam can't hurt you. It's just phenolic paper and Styrofoam. Wannabe aces must pay good money to pretend to dogfight.

ARI: They don't pretend. We fly aerobatic aircraft armed with laser g*ns, smoke emitters, combat sounds in their headsets. It's very real except we don't permit dying.

MARVIN ATWOOD: How about pissing their pants? Smokey Sam looks awfully real coming up at you. Navy uses them at Top g*n.

MAN: It's all set, Marv.

MARVIN ATWOOD: Thanks, Pat. (TO ARI) Want to launch it?

ARI: Why not?

(SFX: SMOKY SAM LAUNCHES)

(MUSIC OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

TONY: Good morning, Kate!

KATE: That grin can only mean one thing.

TONY: And what is that?

KATE: You're in love. Again.

TONY: You are so right.

KATE: What's this one's name?

TONY: She's Swedish.

KATE: You don't know her name. How can you be in love with someone and not.... I forgot. It's you we're talking about.

COMPUTER VOICE: You have mail.

TONY: Let's see who misses me today.

KATE: Tiffany. Crystal. Fanny. The girls down on the farm.

TONY: You hacked into my computer?

KATE: No. Ever since you used mine, all I get is p*rn spam.

TONY: Like you never opened an x-rated site.

KATE: Never.

TONY: You know that's sad.

KATE: Why?

TONY: 'Cause I believe you. Where's the boss?

KATE: M-TAC. Talking to Bahrain. Tony, I'm worried about him.

TONY: Gibbs? That's like worrying about Jim Bowie in a Kn*fe fight.

KATE: Bowie was k*lled at the Alamo.

TONY: I know. I saw the movie.

KATE: Tony, he's fixated on that t*rror1st.

TONY: Not fixated, determined. Like Tommy Lee Jones in the Fugitive. Like The Duke in the Searchers. Mel Gibson in Payback.

KATE: Do you ever read a book?

TONY: Kate, determined is good in a cop.

KATE: Not when it turns into obsession. Gibbs surprised me at D.C. Beans this morning. He bought me coffee and then he probed me about that t*rror1st like it happened yesterday, not months ago.

TONY: That is serious. He's never bought me coffee.

KATE: Tony...

TONY: Kate, Gibbs is like a dog. He'll gnaw at an old bone until you throw him a steak. When he's done with the steak, he goes back to the old bone. The t*rror1st is Gibbs' old bone.

KATE: Let's hope he doesn't choke on it.

GIBBS: (V.O.) Damn it, Daniel!

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: Mossad is lying to you. This bastard is too good not to be on their radar.

SNYDER: (ON SCREEN/FILTERED) They swear they have nothing. Not even a Hamas code name.

GIBBS: Israelis tracked down Sheik Yassin and Rantisi in the heart of Gaza. You cannot tell me that they do not know who this guy is.

SNYDER: (ON SCREEN/FILTERED) Gibbs, I can only tell you what they tell me.

GIBBS: Any chance he's not Hamas? What if he's someone freelance brought in to clean up their Little Creek debacle?

SNYDER: (ON SCREEN/FILTERED) Hamas is like the Mafia. They never trust anyone outside the family.

GIBBS: Then Mossad has to have a dossier on him.

SNYDER: (ON SCREEN/FILTERED) If they're holding out, it could be to take him out themselves.

GIBBS: He's not in the Middle East. He is here.

SNYDER: (ON SCREEN/FILTERED) Where'd you get that intel?

GIBBS: My gut!

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

EXT. FARMHOUSE - DAY

PRESIDENT BUSH: (ON TV) Thank you.

REPORTER: (V.O.) That was President Bush.

ARI: (V.O.) The Marines are window dressing. Only the two Secret Service agents on Marine One are armed. Marine One with Bush and Sharon will depart the White House at seven p.m. It will meet two identical Marine helos at the Washington Memorial. All three Sea Kings will then fly to the Potomac and follow it north toward Maryland, switching positions now and then to conceal which of them is Marine One. (ON CAMERA) The flight path to Bear Island is always the same. After that they can fly a number of routes to Camp David. Simi and Abdul will take the Zodiac to Bear Island and set up Smoky Sam in these woods on the south end. I have picked you for this vital mission because every rock you threw as boys at Israeli tanks... has missed.

(SFX: CHUCKLES)

ARI: And that is good. We want to miss. They can't realize these are training missiles. They must think they've been fired at by shoulder-launched rockets. That scenario requires all of them to execute an immediate emergency landing. Bassam?

BASSAM: This field is the only area within miles where they can land as a unit. And when they do... we hit them. We disable Marine One's tail rotor with a r*fle grenade, and destroy the other two helos with R-P-G's and capture the butchers Bush and Sharon to exchange for our imprisoned brothers in Israel.

SIMI: How do you know which is Marine One?

ARI: A bird is going to tell me.

CUT TO:

INT. NCIS LAB - DAY

ABBY: Okay, now make him older than mummy dust. Oh, that's so cool! Okay. Now as a young guy on his first date. He wasn't a late bloomer like you, McGee. Oh, he's so cute!(SFX: MUSIC B.G.)

(SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONES)

MCGEE: You think so?

ABBY: Oh, well not cuter than you.

MCGEE: Abs, I'm trying to work.

ABBY: Sorry.

MCGEE: No, I like it. It's just I can't concentrate.

ABBY: Okay. What if I watch from way over here!?

GIBBS: What are you doing?

ABBY: Nothing.

GIBBS: Then do nothing at your desk!

ABBY: Gibbs, this is my lab!

GIBBS: Desk! Now! Turn off the damn noise! You got his age, McGee?

MCGEE: Why, I just got--

GIBBS: Yes or no?

MCGEE: No. If you give me a minute I will... I think.

GIBBS: You think?!

MCGEE: No. Definitely I will.

(SFX: BLUEGRASS MUSIC B.G.)

ABBY: Better?

(SFX: KEYBOARDING B.G.)

GIBBS: That makes him twenty one in nineteen ninety. You keep scanning.

MCGEE: You got it, boss.

GIBBS: McGee...

MCGEE: Yes?

GIBBS: If you don't get a hit in three days, I'm going to think this was a ploy to play house!

DUCKY: (V.O.) Gibbs was like this...

CUT TO:

EXT. D.C. CAFĂ© - DAY

DUCKY: ...just before his last divorce.

KATE: We can't divorce him, Ducky.

DUCKY: You wouldn't want to, my dear, no matter how gruff he becomes.

TONY: Hey, maybe he'll take his frustrations out on that mysterious redhead instead of us.

KATE: Must you talk with your mouth full?

TONY: No.

KATE: So who was Gibbs chasing when he divorced his last wife?

TONY: Had to be a redhead.

(KATE HITS TONY)

TONY: You're not Gibbs! You do that again and you're going to be wearing that tuna salad.

DUCKY: He was after a child m*rder*r. Victim was five. Pretty little thing. A deviate had sexually abused her and then beaten her to death.

KATE: Stuff like that makes me sick. Did Gibbs catch him?

DUCKY: Oh, yes. But it took nearly a year. By then a second girl had been m*rder*d. Gibbs was a bit difficult to live with for a while after that.

TONY: It's her!

DUCKY: Who?

TONY: The love of my life!

(TONY RUNS THROUGH TRAFFIC)

(SFX: CAR HORNS HONK/TIRES SCREECH)

DUCKY: Oh.

KATE: When is he going to grow up, Ducky?

DUCKY: It's in the genes, my dear. In Italy most boys Tony's age are still living with Mama.

KATE: Oh gosh. Gotta head out. I've got a Gitmo conference in twenty minutes. It was Tony's turn to buy.

DUCKY: I'll take care of it.

KATE: No, no.

DUCKY: My treat.

KATE: No, that's not right.

DUCKY: Go, Kate. It's been a long pale winter. I need some sun before returning to my human jigsaw puzzle. You don't want to go there.

KATE: You're right. Thanks for lunch, Ducky.

DUCKY: You're quite welcome.

CUT TO:

EXT. INTERSECTION - DAY

(SFX: MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVS B.G.)

(SFX: CYCLE TIRES SCREECH)

(SFX: CAR HORNS HONK)

KATE: Federal agent! Follow that motorcycle.

(CUT TO BLACK)

MUSIC IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: Anything?

MCGEE: Not yet. I thought I had a hit but there weren't enough points.

GIBBS: Well, you trace it anyway, McGee.

MCGEE: I did. It's a biology teach in Manchester. I spoke to him. Sorry.

GIBBS: Stop apologizing. It's a sign of weakness.

MCGEE: Sorry. Right.

GIBBS: Where's Kate and Tony?

MCGEE: Went to lunch with Ducky.

GIBBS: When?

MCGEE: About an hour... or so ago.

GIBBS: I want "or so" in minutes, McGee.

MCGEE: Maybe... maybe fifty. Well, they could be following a lead.

GIBBS: Is that what you think they're doing, Agent McGee?

MCGEE: Ah, no. I don't.

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: This reminds me of a butcher I met in China.

JIMMY: He m*rder*d someone and chopped up the body?

DUCKY: No, no. Claimed his big toe could predict earthquakes. Said it tingled for hours before a quake struck anywhere in the world. Left foot. Yes, when I assured him that many seismic events occur daily all around the globe, he became very excited - said that explained why his big toe always tingled.

JIMMY: Did you point out the fallacy of his logic, Doctor?

DUCKY: Oh, no no no. He was so happy. I hadn't the heart.

JIMMY: Are you making this up, Doctor Mallard?

DUCKY: Good grief, no. When one spends one's career traveling around the globe, one has an unlimited supply of mysterious and intriguing tales. Distal phalange. Right foot, I believe. You're quite rare, Mister Palmer.

JIMMY: I am?

DUCKY: Yes. Most new assistants would take one look at this lot and head for the loo.

JIMMY: Hm. It's just a meat jigsaw puzzle.

GIBBS: Ducky!

JIMMY: Ah, Gibbs. Look what Special Agent Balboa found for me.

GIBBS: Just when I think nothing will surprise me.

DUCKY: It's pretty amazing, isn't it? One has to admire the skill despite the depravity.

GIBBS: Where did Balboa find him?

DUCKY: Oh, this poor fellow was found in a fifty five gallon drum of alcohol beside a dumpster at Bethesda Naval Hospital. He'd been dissected by a sadist with a knowledge of anatomy --

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY LAB - FLASHBACK

ARI: (V.O.) Left ventricle, left atrium. (ON CAMERA) You haven't done an autopsy.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: Oh Gibbs, I am so sorry. I should have realized. It could have narrowed your search for that bastard who put the b*llet in Gerald's shoulder. It only just came to me.

GIBBS: What came to you, Ducky?

DUCKY: That bugger knew anatomy! I even asked him if he was a doctor. He didn't reply but I'll wager he went to medical school in Britain!

GIBBS: Well that wouldn't be hard to find out. Thanks, Duck.

DUCKY: Oh, you're more than welcome. I'm just furious that I didn't think of it sooner.

GIBBS: Ducky, Kate and Tony come back from lunch with you?

DUCKY: No. Tony went off on one of his usual pursuits and Kate had a video conference with Gitmo.

(DOORS SLIDE OPEN/CLOSED)

DUCKY: Oh, right big toe.

JIMMY: We have a right big toe, Doctor.

DUCKY: Well, I already gave you a left big toe.

JIMMY: I know, Sir.

DUCKY: Then how come we have... (PAUSE) ...oh, my!

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: McGee, sit down! How long is medical school in the U.K.?

MCGEE: Four years.

GIBBS: Redirect your search. Medical. Post graduate. Ninety four.

MCGEE: He's a doctor?

GIBBS: Ducky thinks so. I'm going to MTAC. If DiNozzo comes back put him under house arrest.

MCGEE: Me?

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC ROOM - DAY

PRESIDENT BUSH: (ON TV) I'm pleased to welcome Prime Minister Ariel Sharon back to the White House. I think you said this is our eighth meeting...

(PRESIDENT BUSH CONTINUES B.G.)

GIBBS: Where's Gitmo?

TECHNICIAN: Standing by, Sir. I'll shift her to the main screen.

GIBBS: No, I'll take it on the headset right here.

TECHNICIAN: Yes, Sir.

GIBBS: Agent Cassidy.

CASSIDY: Hello, Agent Gibbs. Where's Agent Todd?

GIBBS: He's not here. Why'd she ask for a video conference?

CASSIDY: (V.O.) She wanted to discuss the Hamas Little Creek lead I gave her a while back.

GIBBS: You couldn't do that on the phone?

CASSIDY: She wanted face to face.

GIBBS: Anything else?

CASSIDY: Nope. Hey, Tony!

GIBBS: I'll get back to you later, Agent Cassidy.

CASSIDY: (V.O.) Standing by.

TONY: Hey boss. Uh... McGee said you wanted to see me. Actually, he said I was under house arrest, but I figured it was just your way of making a point.

GIBBS: Do I have to tell you the name of the creek you're up without a paddle? Or how deep it is?

TONY: Up to my knees?

GIBBS: Ah. So you're familiar with this creek.
CUT TO:

INT. CORRIDOR - DAY

TONY: Boss. I'm sorry I took a long lunch, but I'm not working a hot case so I didn't think...

GIBBS: (OVERLAP) What's a hot case to you, DiNozzo? Shadowing a tight ass?

TONY: That's not fair, Boss! I put in...

GIBBS: w*r's not fair, DiNozzo, and we are at w*r. Until I relieve you - which may be any moment now - you will fight that w*r twenty four seven. That includes sleeping, eating, taking a crap. You got it?

TONY: I got it. May I say something?

GIBBS: Only if it has to do with me catching that bastard I'm chasing.

TONY: It does.

GIBBS: Then speak.

TONY: Boss, you really need to see Moby d*ck.

(SFX: GIBBS DIALS THE PHONE)

CUT TO:

INT. CAR - MOVING

(SFX: PHONE RINGS)

BASSAM: Simi.

KATE: It's on the left side - on the belt!

BASSAM: Who is Gibbs?

(BASSAM HITS KATE)

KATE: Ah!

BASSAM: Who is Gibbs?

KATE: My boyfriend. He calls me when he leaves the office.

BASSAM: Where does he work?

KATE: Iraq.

(BASSAM HITS KATE)

CUT TO:

INT. STAIRCASE - DAY

(GIBBS HANGS UP THE PHONE)

CUT TO:

INT. MARYLAND FARM - DAY

(CAR DOOR OPENS/CLOSES)

ARI: Caitlin. Did you miss me? (IN ARABIC) Who did this?

BASSAM: (IN ARABIC) She was insolent.

ARI: I apologize for Bassam's actions.

KATE: At least he didn't blow my shoulder out with a nine mil.

ARI: Bassam. Undo her cuffs. (TO KATE) How is Gerald?

KATE: Still in rehab. He asks everyday if you're dead yet.

(KATE HITS BASSAM)

(BASSAM SHOUTS IN ARABIC)

ARI: Satisfied?

KATE: No. He smacked me twice.

ARI: Being slapped by a woman is twice the insult to Bassam.

KATE: Really? What about being sh*t by one?

ARI: Why did Bassam strike her?

SIMI: She would not tell him who was calling her cell.

ARI: Oh, Gibbs called you.

KATE: I'd better call him back, tell him where I am. He is my boss.

ARI: Of course. But first some ice for your lip. Then you may call him.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: Heard from Kate?

MCGEE: No.

TONY: I tried her home. Not there. Gonna give her a paddle?

MCGEE: Huh?

TONY: It has to do with a creek Kate and I are up.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

KATE: You told me I could call Gibbs.

ARI: On one condition.

KATE: Surprise, surprise. And what am I to say?

ARI: You became quite ill after lunch. You went to emergency, where it was diagnosed as food poisoning. They pumped out your stomach, gave you an IV and sent you home. You'll be fine tomorrow. You just need some sleep.

KATE: And if I don't say that?

ARI: Marta. Tell our guest how you plan to entertain Agent DiNozzo tonight.

MARTA: I will put a b*llet in the back of his head as I run my fingers through his hair.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: (V.O./FILTERED) Tony's right. Never eat oysters in a month without an R. I'll be fine by tomorrow.

TONY: Is she okay?

MCGEE: Food poisoning.

TONY: Food poisoning?

GIBBS: I need coffee.

TONY: Well, what's wrong? Other than not catching that Hamas guy.

GIBBS: The Hamas guy! The t*rror1st! The bastard! The ass! We call him everything but his name, DiNozzo. Do you know why?

TONY: Because we don't know his name?

GIBBS: Because you're not working a hot case. I want his name! I want it today! And don't tell me it's Moby d*ck.

(GIBBS WALKS O.S.)

MCGEE: Wow!

TONY: Kate's right. I think Gibb's is losing it. You don't really think he meant today, do you? Oh! This slammin' girl that I'm supposed to take out tonight. She's Swedish.

MCGEE: Ah...

TONY: Has this sweet accent...

MCGEE: Tony?

TONY: Every Swedish girl I've ever known has always let me...

MCGEE: Tony!

TONY: What?!

(MUSIC UP AND OUT)

FADE IN:

EXT. MARYLAND FARM - DAY

ARI: It is a very nice Chardonnay, Caitlin, and almost perfectly chilled. I wish you'd taste it.

KATE: Let her taste it.

MARTA: I don't drink.

KATE: That's right. Muslims don't use alcohol.

ARI: Well, not at home. Perhaps if you thought of this as a weekend house party, with you as the honored guest.

KATE: And you the charming host?

ARI: Oh, many women find me charming.

KATE: You must pay them well.

(MARTA LAUGHS)

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) We are leaving. Do you know?

ARI: (INTO PHONE/IN ARABIC) I will call you. (SFX: CAR ENGINES START)

KATE: Do you know what? That's why I'm here, isn't it?

ARI: Where is the pea?

(ARI SHUFFLES THE SHELLS)

ARI: You tell me where the pea is, Caitlin, and I will answer your question.

MARTA: Lucky guess.

ARI: Was it, Caitlin?

KATE: No. Now answer my question.

ARI: Once more to satisfy Marta that it wasn't luck.

(ARI SHUFFLES THE SHELLS)

ARI: I told you, Marta. Do you detect slight differences in the shells?

KATE: Why am I here?

ARI: To teach me this trick. I am quite serious.

(ARI SHUFFLES THE SHELLS)

ARI: Amazing. How did they teach you to be so observant?

KATE: Who?

ARI: The Secret Service.

KATE: The President is flying to Camp David with Sharon today. I saw those missiles. You want to know which helo is Marine One to sh**t it down!

ARI: Those tiny missiles are mere training aids. In any case, I have no intention of sh**ting down Marine One.

KATE: You're a lying bastard.

(MARTA LAUGHS)

MARTA: Sorry.

ARI: Unfortunately, half of that is true.

MCGEE: (V.O.) His name is Ari Haswari.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

MCGEE: He graduated from Edinburgh Medical College in ninety four.

DUCKY: Good Lord! So did I! Well, a few decades earlier, of course.

ABBY: Of course.

DUCKY: Extraordinary. I wonder if the College should be informed?

TONY: Want to name him an honored alumni?

DUCKY: Oh, very amusing, Tony. But not when we have such notables as Lord Lister, Doctor Peter Mark Roget, and Sir Author Conan Doyle.

MCGEE: You have some famous alumni, Ducky.

DUCKY: We should. The medical college is over four hundred years old. It traces its origins back to seventeenth century barber surgeons who did blood-letting and bone setting--

GIBBS: (OVERLAP) I'll be doing some blood-letting if this huddle isn't work-related.

MCGEE: Hey Boss, we got it!

ABBY: (OVERLAP) We've got a name!

MCGEE: Doctor Ari Haswari.

DUCKY: He's a graduate of my old medical school in Edinburgh.

GIBBS: That's great work, McGee. What's with his name? Ari is Israeli. Haswari is Arab.

ABBY: Maybe his folks are working on some sort of Middle East peace plan.

GIBBS: McGee, find someone who knew him in Edinburgh.

TONY: Already did, Boss. I spoke to a Doctor Martin Sedwick, Pickford Mews, London. He and Ari were post graduate research assistants at the Edinburgh Centre for Infectious Diseases.

TONY: That's why Hamas chose him to recover the small pox virus. Doctor Sedwick said he was quite brilliant, always with beautiful women and always answered to Haswari....never Ari.

MCGEE: I think I know why. His father was Doctor Benjamin Weinstein. His mother, Doctor Hosmiya Haswari. They worked in Jerusalem Hospital and never married.

ABBY: Ooh. Haswari didn't like his Jewish daddy.

GIBBS: Call him Ari.

TONY: Ari worked with his mother in a Gaza strip clinic until she d*ed four years ago.

ABBY: So he went from doctor to t*rror1st.

MCGEE: Rintizi was a doctor.

DUCKY: So was Che Guevara.

TONY: Jack the Ripper was a surgeon.

DUCKY: He was never caught. That's only a supposition. There's a very interesting theory...

GIBBS: (OVERLAP) Tony, let's go! McGee, give me a G-P-S search on Kate's cell phone. It's off now but if it comes on I want coordinates.

TONY: Kate's at home, Boss.

GIBBS: She didn't answer her phone. I don't think she ate bad oysters for lunch.

TONY: She had a tuna salad.

(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN):

GIBBS: Tony, that bastard's got her.

TONY: Boss...

GIBBS: (SHOUTS) He's got her!

CUT TO:

EXT. MARYLAND FARM - DAY

KATE: There is no way to tell them apart. And if there was I wouldn't tell you.

MARTA: Even if it meant your life?

KATE: Are you willing to die for what you believe?

MARTA: We Hamas prove that every day.

KATE: No. Your children do.

ARI: Marta, give me her g*n.

MARTA: We are wasting time.

ARI: The g*n, Marta. Please. If k*lling is to be done, I will do it. I believe you, Caitlin. Relax. Have a glass of wine. I don't like to drink alone.

MARTA: Haswari! What--!

ARI: Caitlin is telling the truth. There is no way to identify Marine One from the others.

MARTA: You told me there was.

ARI: I lied.

(SFX: g*nsh*t)

ARI: Women should never get involved in politics. It's a waste of beauty. Call your old friends at the Secret Service. I will tell them all they need to know. Take it. My Hamas are well trained. They won't k*ll or capture your President and mine.

KATE: Your President?

ARI: I am Israeli. Mossad.

CUT TO:

INT. GIBBS' BASEMENT - NIGHT

DEBRA GREEN: (ON TV) A sh**t today in Great Falls National Park between FBI Agents and alleged Colombian drug dealers lead to the death of three suspects and the wounding of two Agents. One suspect is reported to have escaped on foot and a wide-spread manhunt is underway throughout the park.

GIBBS: Suspected drug dealers, huh? Whose idea was that?

FORNELL: Secret Service.

GIBBS: Ah, they give Ari his "Get Out of Jail For Free" pass too?

FORNELL: No. CIA did that. But all the Directors agreed. Even yours. Ari's father was Mossad. Probably knocked his mother up to get a son with Arab blood. Sent him to medical school to vet him as a doctor in Gaza. This guy's been a sleeper his entire life!

GIBBS: I'd love to put him in a coma.

FORNELL: Al Qaeda funded this Hamas Op. Ari was just doing what he had to do to make his bones with them.

GIBBS: You tell that to Gerald.

FORNELL: You forget I lost a man and had three wounded.

GIBBS: No. But it seems you did.

FORNELL: You know better than that.

GIBBS: There is a line, Tobias. That bastard crossed it! You don't make your bones sh**ting friends!

FORNELL: (SHOUTS) What do you want us to do? He's inside Al Qaeda!

GIBBS: (SHOUTS) I don't know!

(FORNELL COUGHS)

FORNELL: (b*at) How the hell do you breathe in all this dust?

GIBBS: I don't.

FORNELL: You got anything to wash it down?

GIBBS: Oh the top shelf next to the paint stripper.

FORNELL: Who drinks bourbon anymore?

GIBBS: I do.

FORNELL: You got a glass?

GIBBS: Use my coffee mug.

FORNELL: What about you?

GIBBS: I use my coffee mug. You go upstairs and get a glass or... drink out of the bottle.

FORNELL: What the hell.

(SFX: FORNELL GASPS)

FORNELL: I see why you keep it with the paint strippers.

GIBBS: It's a hundred twenty five proof. You sip it, Fornell.

FORNELL: The Directors want your word that you'll forget about Ari. They think you'll blow his cover.

GIBBS: If I got payback, it won't be by blowing his cover. Why are you asking me this and not my director?

FORNELL: He refused to.

GIBBS: (CHUCKLES) Yeah. All right. On one condition.

FORNELL: There's always one condition.

GIBBS: I want to speak to him, in a place of my choosing, alone.

FORNELL: Nobody's going to go for that.

GIBBS: Ari will.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - NIGHT

(SFX: HEARTBEAT B.G.)

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

(GIBBS WALKS TO THE TABLE)

(SFX: ZIPPER)

GIBBS: She was beautiful.

ARI: Very.

GIBBS: Did you make love to her, and then blew her brains out?

ARI: She would do the same to me.

GIBBS: Why do you do this?

ARI: Same reason you do.

GIBBS: I don't think so.

ARI: Then you are lying to yourself.

GIBBS: What now? You go back to the Middle East. You tell them Marta was Mossad, and she blew the op.

ARI: Yes.

GIBBS: Two op failures in a row. I'd a* your ass if you worked for me.

ARI: People who blow themselves apart to k*ll their enemy have lower expectations.

GIBBS: How do you sell Marta as a double agent?

ARI: My men the FBI permitted to escape. They know the effort I put into this operation. Buying Smoky Sams, kidnapping Agent Todd so I could identify Marine One. And when they search Marta's apartment, they will find money and documents traceable to Mossad. Hamas will believe me. Al Qaeda is more weary.

GIBBS: If they don't believe you, you're dead.

ARI: Yes. And if they do, I may learn what they plan as the next Nine Eleven. Would you risk losing that opportunity over pride?

GIBBS: It's not pride.

ARI: If not pride then what? Love of country? Sense of duty? I'm sure those exist in you. But what burns is pride, my friend. Shalom.

(SFX: g*nsh*t)

GIBBS: Just wanted to help you convince Al Qaeda.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED)

(ARI CHUCKLES)

(SFX: ELEVATOR DOORS SLIDE CLOSED)

(ENDING CREDITS UP)

(FADE OUT)