02x05 - Big Time Halloween

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Big Time Rush". Aired November 2009 - July 2013.*
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A look at life for the members of a boy band who are trying to make it big in the music industry.
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02x05 - Big Time Halloween

Post by bunniefuu »

Welcome to Palmsylvania*** an hallowing world, where humans and monsters live side by side.

That's great. I would be there.

A place where zombies would rather greet you than eat you.

♪♪♪

Oh, sorry! *** zombie dude.

Oh, just *** me.

*** vampires are glimmering by our pool.

Don't be afraid, ladies.

I don't bite!

So, enjoy your stay!

You're sure to have a hallowing good time!

[Laughter]

Why do you keep looking out the window?

Just checking how long before...

You know!

What's the big deal?

What the big deal is, Joe's coming up.

I never told her that I'm a werewolf.

What?

♪♪♪
♪♪♪♪

I'm sick, I'm sick.

Or that you grounded me.

And don't say anything about the Halloween big night of fright party we're singing at tonight.

Hey! I ran into Frank and Carlos.

They invited me to the big fright party you're singing at tonight.

Great!

? make it count, play it straight ?

? don't look back, don't hesitate ?

? where you go big time ?

? what you know, what you feel ?

? never quitin', make it real ?

? when you're going big time ?

? hey, hey listen to your heart now ?

? hey, hey don't you feel the rush ?

? Oh-oh, oh-oh ?

? Hey, hey ?

? go and shake it up ?

? whatcha gotta lose ?

? go and make your luck ?

? with the life you choose ?

? if you want it all, lay it on the line ?

? it's the only life you got so you got to live it

? big time ?.

Hey, did you know it's a full moon tonight?

Really?

I didn't know that.

The party, full moon, our first Halloween together.

It's going to be an unforgettable night.

Oh, you have no idea!

Hey.

So, you still up for a little fun in the Palmwood cemetery?

How about I meet you there in 15 minutes?

I'll see you there.

Help me, help me, help me! Use your wand and help me!

Tell them the truth!

No, because Joe is a normal.

A normal don't date snarling hairy dog beasts.

Oh, you forgot smelly and drooling.

Just poof me up a razor.

New look, girls, is mine.

*** I'm a hot vampire.

I will bite you!

Hey, teen wolf, want to practice or dance for tonight?

I can't. Got to shave my arms. Meeting with Joe.

All right. We're going to play real. Idiot, you can't do this.

Oh, there went some flavors!

Oh, oh, no, no!

Can't use one of your smelling bitch portions.

For your information, we're making a cake.

It's alive!

It's alive!

How about the singing monster, Dr. Rockenstein?

No, it's a live album from BTR.

Oh nice!

I'm putting them in the goody bags for the big night of fright party tonight.

Help me!

What now Griffin? The goody bags are almost done and my monster bag is ready to rock your party tonight.

Yes, about that.

New research shows the monster bag is dead.

In fact, the only one that is popping is Kendall.

Because he looks normal on the album cover.

Yes! And until there's a full moon, then he's a shag carpet with paws.

Well, make them normals, because my big night of fright party will be full of board members and stockholders.

And they and I want big time rush to be a hot boy band, not a has-been monster band.

But that's four hours from now.

That is impossible!

Tonight is a big night for me. So don't let me down!

Or else!

Or else what?

Okay, okay, fine.

Tell me, get Frankencolors down here.

We have experimenting to do!

Well, I'm coming too.

Maybe that party with keep me from falling apart.

See?

You okay, righty?

Hey, there she is!

Oh!

No, no, flat head. She's mine!

Lightning! Drop it! That's my arm, not yours!

Excuse me, but are you from Tennessee?

Because you're the only...

Ten I see.

I'm James.

Anymore a band.

I'm Muffy. I'm not interested.

That's because you don't know me yet.

I like long walks on the beach and taking gorgeous girls like you out for a quick bite.

On second thoughts, you know, you're just the type of guy I've been looking for.

Really?

I mean, of course I am.

♪♪♪
♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

[laughter]

The zombie rules. The dog ***

♪♪

That's so not cool!

Let's get'em!

So I'm really looking forward to watching you sing tonight.

Yeah.

About that.

Are you okay?

Joe, there's something I need to tell you.

I'm listening.

I'm a where I'm aware that the party concert thing is going to stink tonight and you should skip it.

Totally skip it.

You don't want me to go?

No, it's not that I don't want you to go.

It's just that...

We're going to have a lot of fun.

Heel! Give back my heel!

I should go help Logan now!

I call it the hot boy band machine!

Once the boys go in, their DNA is scrambled and handsomized and voilà

pop-singing boys come out.

And you made this in an hour?

Are you sure it works?

I'm sure. I have no idea.

That's why Frankencarlos is here to test it out.

Okay, Frankencarlos.

♪♪♪

Get some corn dogs.

Corn dog!

Help!

I give you hot singing normal boy!

Well, he's cute, but not a boy.

I know that.

? I wanna be *** ?

Sings good though.

Try again!

[Laughter]

That is so crazy.

I'm ordering grape jelly too.

And the dumbest pasta shape ever!

Bow tie!

And I have to say, this has been a really great dinner.

We haven't had dessert.

Would you care to dance?

I prefer...

Tango.

Isn't that dancing?

You wouldn't happen to have that for gardening purposes, would you?

Try vampire purposes.

I'm seriously thinking about not asking you out again.

Don't talk. You have to help me.

I need to be turned into a normal for the concert.

Normal werewolf.

I need new foot.

I got ya covered.

Because of my new hot boy band machine, you will no longer with monsters for the big night of fright.

Observe, new normal Carlos.

I hope.

Whoa!

Who is that?

It's Carlos!

No!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Okay. Too much pageant queen.

All right. Now, we press the red button and more y chromosome.

Yee-haw!

Too much gaba gaba.

Back inside! Okay.

Got to pull back on the striped fur.

Shorten the arms and add super powerful boy!

Argh!
♪♪♪
♪♪♪♪

Carlo's mad!

Too much power!

But he still has to be improved!

Okay! Who's next?

I think I'm going to pass.

Yeah. Big pass here.

Oh, there you are!

You never came back to the picnic.

Well, you know what they say.

Whoops!

Gotta go, bye!

Wait. What time are you going to pick me up for the...

What's up Joe?

I think Kendall just blew me off.

Oh, be upper!

Carlo's mad.

Carlo's ***

Here, Franken Carlos!

Here, boy!

We have corn dogs!

Where is he?

Something tells me that we should go there way.

Megafranken Carlos!

James.

Seriously, you thought I'd believe you were a fountain?

You don't like fountains?

No, I like fountains ***

and sleighing vampires.

I love those things, too!

Except for that last one.

Okay. That was real!

♪♪♪

Okay, righty. Let's get down to business.

It's time we trap lightning and fight back!

Observe lightning enters the lobby and see you *** the arm.

That's you!

He drops his foot, goes for tasty arm but before he gets there, the white does flight and drops the cage on arm at this stupid point.

Lightning!

I was totally kidding about stupid mustang.

♪♪♪

Where's my leg!

Well, my hot boy band machine doesn't make great boy bands but makes great monsters.

It means we need to find Carlos and tranquilize him before an angry mob tears him apart.

Too late.

New plan!

You save Franken Carlos and get the rest of the big time monsters and get them back to my lab.

How?

I don't know.

Meanwhile, I'll fix the hot boy band machine so they can perform at Griffin's party tonight.

How?

I don't know!

[Growling].

They shall notice.

Depends, *** your eyes!

Sweetheart!

Stop!

If a girl can't accept you for who you are, maybe she's not the girl for you.

Can't you poof me normal?

Can't we poof up a cake?

We can make a cake without magic.

You need to tell Jo the truth, now!

I need you to help me save Franken Carlos from the angry mob.

Hmm.

Tell Jo the truth or face an angry mob!

Let's go, Kelly.

Maybe I used too much.

Vampire, vampires walk into a restaurant.

The waiter says, what can I get you?

And the vampire says, I'm just here for a quick bite.

And the slayer says, you should really try the stake.

Time out.

Want a kiss?

Yeah.

Time in ***

What do you want? There's nothing left?

Righty!

[Barking].

Oh, good thinking, buddy!

I need to not be a vampire fast!

They're working on a machine that is supposed to make us normal.

That's the rule.

Wait!

I can't leave righty.

Oh!

Never mind!

All right. Let's head out!

Boy band!

Viva sandwich!

That's my car!

[Growling].

Kendall save Carlos.

Kendall good friend.

Oh, and Kelly loves that Kendall is a werewolf.

You know who?

So do I.

I'm going to tell a joke. This is who I am.

Yeah, there's no time. We have to get back to the studio.

No.

This is something I have to do.

And this is something I have to do.

Nappy time.

Quick! Drag him back to the studio.

What about Kendall's girlfriend?

Just text her and say something bubbly came up.

It should be fine.

Hurry up!

Me Kendall, you go away!

P.S. Fire bad.

He's breaking up with me in a text?

Hey, have you seen a vampire?

He's about like yay tall, really hot.

No, but I think I know where I can find him and my boyfriend.

Doc, you have to make me normal, a vampire slayer is facing me.

Oh, boo hoo. A hot girl is chasing you.

I'm just a head.

Get in!

What happened to Kendall?

And they have to sing in 10 minutes.

What happened to Kendall?

They sh**t him.

If I recalibrate the molecular levels to hotness, ♪♪♪

cross the screen and add perfect hair.

Where's Kendall?

Where's James?

Where my hot boy band?

Press the button, for mad scientist vomit.

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

We have a body!

Yes.

And my lips don't fall off.

I'm not a vampire anymore.

And I'm not green!

Whoa! And I can pronounce!

And I'm not a were that you are here.

Oh, but you think you can break up with me with a poorly written text?

P.S., I don't *** back.

I did not send that text.

But I do have something to tell you.

What? That you're breaking up with me?

Is this story going to take long?

Because I kind of have a big night planned here.

Jo, I'm a werewolf.

Duh!

Come again?

You think I didn't notice?

All the hair on your clothes.

Chasing cars while we're on dates.

That weird marking your territory thing.

So you're okay with this?

Why do you think I always bring a frisbee when we hang out?

Very touching, but the last time I checked, it's not Valentine's day.

It's Halloween.

Now, you have rich people to impress!

Let's have party!

? it's going to be a big, big, big, big, night. ?

? one, two, three, boys and girls, we're going to party ?

? like it's the end of the world ?

? let's get it started, ?

? started, ?

? started. ?

? cause I've been feeling down, down, down. ?

? I need a pick me up, round, round, round. ?

? I want to send it up loud, loud, loud. ?

? deejay take me away. ?

? oh, it's going to be a big big night. ?

? we're going to have a good time. ?

? it's going to be a big, big, big, big night. ?

? it's been a long week, been working overtime. ?

? I need a hot b*at to get this party right. ?

? I'm on another level, turn up the bass and trebel. ?

? it's going to be a big, big night. ?

? it's going to be a big, big night. ?

? we're going to have a good time. ?

? it's going to be a big big big big big night. ?

? oh, it's going to be a big, big night. ?

? we're going to have a good time. ?

? it's going to be a big big big big big night. ?

[cheers & applause]

You did it again, Gustavo! The boys were amazing.

The board members and investors loved the goody band.

Except for that guy.

Why do you keep looking at your watch?

I only have enough power in my hot boy band machine for a temporary hot boy transformation.

What does that mean?

Well.

Yikes!

So does this mean we're back to the whole...

I'll give you a five second head start.

Thanks!

I think you're really cute as a werewolf.

Sorry.

Nobody ever touched our cake.

Oh, fine, go ahead.
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