02x01 - It Is Not, nor It Cannot Come to Good

Previously, on the Royals...

What is he doing here?



You only came here because Liam asked you to.

I came 'cause I always want to see you.

You've caught me on a good day, bodyguard.

Are you familiar with the expression "at Her Majesty's pleasure"?

You realize I have trust issues? Yes?

I found that in the Queen's bed.

Armed police!

Nobody move!

'I took a solemn oath to serve you all. I do so today by formally calling for the abolishment of the monarchy.'

There's no way out of this.

There's always a way.

Open the gate! The King is down!

He'd been attacked.

Who could have done this?

I need you to be my alibi.

You are the acting King of England.

All this I promise to do.

So help me God.

These children are illegitimate.

Tell us it isn't true.

The next King of England.

Long live the Queen.

You're going on a little trip.

I did what you asked. I declared the Prince and Princess illegitimate.

I'm going to ask Parliament to place the Queen in power.

You'll be England's final monarch.

When you found me in that alley, what time was it?

I didn't find you in an alley. I found you in the park.

Sir, please remove your hands from Great Britain's King.


Still wearing black, I see. Well played.

Very clever of you to keep up the appearance of mourning.

Have you considered the fact I may actually be mourning?

As if! It's been two months.

Took me about two weeks.

Mr. Moorefield would like an audience.

Tell him we'll speak soon.

For the moment, things are... fluid.


Has Piggy been good?

Or bad?


Very bad.

Well, then, you'll have to be punished, won't you?



Hello, Prime Minister.

We need to talk.


(Cheering and applause)

For His Majesty's approval.


(Shouting and laughter)


Smile, Princess. I believe it's part of our arrangement.

You know, the last King didn't actually have to buy their affection.


Do I even want to know?

It's a swan.

Only the King is allowed to eat them.

But why in God's name would you want to eat a poor swan?

Because I can.

Have you seen this?

Princess, your public celebrity seems to be at an all-time high.

Are you going to the Queen's garden party?

Who in their right mind would want to go to a thing like that?

So, you're not going?

Absolutely not.

How about I throw my own party and you're all invited?

It'll be like the after-party, only at the same time.

What do you think?


(REPORTER) Once again, it seems celebrity trumps monarchy, as Princess Eleanor steals the show.

The garden party's a disaster. We'll have to cancel.

She needs to be controlled. They both do.

You're the one that stripped them of their titles and chased them out.

People find them sympathetic.

Emphasis on "pathetic".

They are more popular than ever.

So, maybe we use their popularity.

Reinstate their titles.

Make it look like they work for us, not against us.

And if they refuse?

Let's find out.

(Gong resounding)

Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?

As a favor to the Queen Consort, I've decided to reinstate your titles and all the spoiled trappings forthwith.

All I ask for is a modicum of respect and decorum.


And an apology.

Go to hell. Let's go, Len.

We're sorry.

I'm not sure I heard that.

I said that we're sorry.

And the ring?


Welcome home.

See you at the polo match.

Hey, what was that?

If you can't say "sorry", you could at least say "thank you".

For what?

Getting us back in the game.

You think I want to be here? You think I want any of this?

No, I don't, but if we want answers, we need access.

You want to find out who killed Robert, yes? And Dad??

Of course I do. But it doesn't matter, because they have it all wrong.

They don't get rid of us, Liam.

We get rid of them.

Ah, Mr. Moody. Still living it up on the people's money?

A software designer, isn't it? Gemma Kensington's fiance?

She created an app that removes naked selfies from the cloud.

I'll have to try it.

But wasn't Gemma Kensington's fiance meant to be young Liam, as promised by you?

Let me give you some advice, before you send those dick pics, Winston.

Most women like a bit of power and money.

When Liam lost the crown, he lost the girl. sh1t happens.

Can I quote you on that?


I thought I smelled the press.

Oh, come, now. I thought you were attracted to my power and money.

On some people it looks simply garish.

Especially disreputable media moguls like you, Mr. Crenshaw.

Shall we do the dance?

Of course.

The Prince and Princess are back in the palace.


Some would say it's a PR move, to keep up appearances.

Soe ery've known.

I lost a husband and a son.

This is a period of transition and healing for us.

Is that what Princess Eleanor has been doing in the clubs? Healing?

Look, why don't you say what you have to say, I'll deny it, and then we can all go back to the game?

Believe it or not, Your Majesty, I'm on your side.

If my papers printed what I'm told is the truth...

And what is that?

That your daughter is again spending her nights rewriting the rules of decency, whilst your son is on a one-man crusade, attempting to avenge the death of our late, great King Simon.

Our current King is arrogant and vain, and his Queen Consort is attempting to usurp his daughters, who, as far as anyone can tell, are scarcely a step above imbecilic half-wits.

They're not a step above.

Other than that, categorically untrue.

What can you say about Prince Liam going to Gibraltar?

I'm sorry, son. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but the results are medically and factually accurate.

There's no conspiracy here.

(Cheering and applause)

♪ One hand washes the other ♪
♪ One eye open when I sleep ♪
♪ One thing leads to another ♪
♪ One's sleeping six feet deep ♪
♪ Two faces in the mirror ♪
♪ Do two rights erase a wrong? ♪


It's my line!

Pull off!

You pull off. It's my line.

Fine. Then go ahead and kill your sister.


You realize there's a match going on?

You realize you're stalking me?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I saw you in Paris. I saw you in Spain.

Skulking about in the shadows.

Stop following me.

With all due respect, Princess, a thank-you might be more appropriate.

You're traveling without security. You've been a sh1t show.

How I've been or where I've been are the concerns of a boyfriend or a bodyguard, neither of which you are any longer.

So, you're saying I was your boyfriend once?

Stop stalking me.

What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?

Nothing, Jasper.

But a few words of advice, for whatever foolish girl you decide to stalk next: Mother's v*g1n*? Deal-breaker.

Off I go.

You play well, Your Highness.

♪ I beat around the bush, but I've been coming home ♪
♪ You're in my way... ♪

Your brother's not very hospitable.

No. No, he's not.

Lucky for you, I am.

(Moaning and whispering)

(Dully) Yeah. Right there. Yeah.

That's great.


He saw you coming.

The man in the striped jacket.

He called you tenacious.

Well, actually, he called you a tenacious prick, but "tenacious" is good.

He's hiding over there, by the way.

Oh, my God! Is that fudge?

Mr. Holloway.

We have nothing to discuss.

Then why have you been avoiding me?

We have nothing to discuss.

(Thudding and grunting)


Mr. Holloway will speak with you now.

Your Majesty.

Mr. Moorefield. The man who hates the Monarchy.

Hate is a rather strong word, Your Majesty.

Don't be afraid to hate, Mr. Moorefield.

Nobody hates any more. They dislike. They disdain.

Eventually, they'll eradicate hate, and they'll wonder why they can't recognize love.

And is that why the Queen has summoned me to the stables? To discuss love?

That's precisely why.

It seems you've fallen in love, Mr. Moorefield.

Have I?

You have.

You're vexed. You're smitten.

You're downright besotted.

That's interesting.

I'm afraid my heart has neglected to inform me of this.

Will the Queen be so kind as to tell me the name of the girl who has so brazenly captured my desire?

Not "girl", Mr. Moorefield.


(Sighs) I can't believe we're not going to the polo match because of you.

There's probably gonna be loads of cute boys there.

Boys who just can't help that their loins are in the presence of the future Queen of England.

(Bell ringing)

You and your stupid bell. I don't know why you had to get it all done at once.

I told you to wait till after the match, but you won't listen to me, even though I'm the future Queen of England.

What Princess wants, Princess gets. Selfish cow.

They're probably having so much fun.

You realize my security detail is lying in the corridor?

He's in the cloak room now. With the cloaks.

What do you want from me?

You know exactly what I want.

You weren't with Cyrus when my father was stabbed.

Of course I was.

And the last I heard, our late King Simon was not your father.

Oh, God! Please! Are you mad?

I'm not debating paternity with you, Holloway.

I'm simply asking you a question, and I expect you to tell me the truth.

What, or you're gonna shoot me? (Gasps)


Okay! Okay. He wasn't with me. I wasn't with him.

But you... you need to protect me on this.

Cyrus promised me things.

He said I would be Prime Minister. He lied.

Does that surprise you?

Where was he that night?

I don't know. He wasn't with me.

Look... I need to go. Okay?

Mr. Holloway...

The claim ticket for your bodyguard.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

Barrel down, please.


I haven't seen you for a while. Not since...

Since the day the King died.

How's Ophelia?

I don't know. She's in New York.

You don't talk?

She doesn't talk.

I reached out a few times, but she didn't reply.

Not that I blame her. She was pretty upset.

Maybe it's for the best.

What was all that about during the match?

Between you and Eleanor.

She's angry because I've been keeping an eye on her.

You've been stalking her?

I prefer body-guardian angel.

But she disagrees. You know what she's like.

Actually, I don't.

She doesn't let me in much these days.

So, how is she?

She's a disaster.

Your father would be endlessly disappointed in you.

Yes, well, why don't you tell me who my father is, and then we'll see about that?

Try not to let the horse fall on you.

Yes, that's right. Daddy is dead and I am now Queen.

Yes, yes, my sister did die from chlamydia.

(Moorefield clears throat)

Forgive me, Your Highness. I didn't mean to startle you.

No... no... I was just pretending.

Well, these are for you.

For me? Why?

Well, if you must know, I've thought about you a lot lately, as well as er...



Would you care to join me?

(Penelope clears throat)

We should probably keep this a secret.

I am an anti-monarchist, after all.

Yes. Yes, of course.

It's so forbidden.

(Penelope chuckles)

So he wasn't with Holloway? It doesn't mean he did it.

But it means he was lying.

No-one had more to gain than he did.

As far as I'm concerned, he's back on the list.

Along with the Queen, you, me and everyone else in the world.

Boone said the calls were from inside the palace.

Yes, but that was about Robert, Liam, not necessarily about Dad.

They're related, Lenny, and we both know it.

So is this.

What is this?

It was around my neck when I passed out in the rain.


The night you met with Boone.

What does it mean? What...?

Why haven't you told me about this?

I don't know. I'm sorry. I thought I could figure it out.

Sometimes I wish Marcus was still here.

Yeah, well, you can't blame him for wanting out as soon as Cyrus became King.

I don't blame him.

I just miss him.

I don't know who else I can trust.


I saw Jasper today.

Speaking of people who we cannot trust.

I wouldn't have got to Holloway without him.

Jasper cannot be trusted!

Now I seriously... I need to get high. OK?

♪ Can't guarantee for anything ♪
♪ Hopes and dreams are what we have ♪
♪ We cannot find words... ♪

You OK, Lenny?

Yeah, I'm fine.

(Intercom buzzer)

(Elevator clunks)

Your Majesty. Can I be of service?


You can keep the Queen's bastards under control.

With all due respect, Prince Liam and Princess Eleanor no longer fall under my purview.

I'm reinstating their security.

They're running amok like savages.

We need to keep an eye on them.

As you wish.

Have you ever wondered why I kept you on, Pryce?

Because I'm good at what I do.

As if!

I kept you on because Liam trusts you and he doesn't trust me.

Pull him in close, watch him intently.

The ascension of the fallen King's son is so predictable it's boring.

Enjoy the asbestos...


Is that what passes for a King these days?

Prime Minister.

Your Majesty.

Working late, I see.

The opening of Parliament.

Yes, I know.

And once opened, the first order of business will be our bill to change the order of succession.

If something should befall King Cyrus, the Queen Consort will become the next acting monarch.

But the King's children...

Will be declared unfit to rule.

I trust the palace can rely on your discretion just as you can rely on mine.

It's important, wouldn't you say?


When I was a boy... I had a governess.

We all have our desires, Prime Minister.

Which reminds me. From my personal collection.

Perhaps you can wear them to the opening of Parliament.

(Rock music)

(Rock music blaring)

♪ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! ♪
♪ Will you go to heaven? ♪
♪ Or will you go to hell? ♪

(Indistinct lyrics)

(Rock music fades)

(Contemplative instrumental music)

Princess Maribel?

Oh, my God!

I mean... erm...

I've been thinking about you.

So, I... erm... I bought you these.

I'll... er... I'll just... er...

Well, I'll leave them there.


It's happening again, you know.

Your daughter's in the States. You're constantly working.

You're drinking again.

You know it's not your fault.


Has no-one ever said that to you?

Well, that's a tragedy, isn't it?

Some deranged lunatic tries to assassinate The King, and you blame yourself?

I am not having this conversation again tonight.



Mr. Pryce? Did I catch you at a bad time?

Nothing that won't still be there once you've gone.

Please. Come in.

What have you heard from Ophelia?

Not much, actually.


Then I won't take it personally.

Now, I understand that you've spent some time with Mr. Holloway today.

We may have crossed paths.

And does "crossing paths" include holding a loaded firearm to his head?

Look, Liam, it bothers me immensely that I haven't uncovered your father's assailant.

It's not your job.

No. Neither is it yours.

I'm reinstating your security detail, which, all things considered, it's no bad thing as far as I'm concerned.

Beyond that, though... if you want to talk... or you just need to vent... you know where to find me.

I appreciate that.

There is one thing you could do for me.

I'd like Jasper Frost for my security detail.

He is no longer...

I know. He'd like to come back and I'd like him to.


Do this for me and I'll back off and... you know, stay in line.

I'll locate Mr. Frost.

In the meantime, is there anything else on your mind?


No. That's all.

I'll see myself out.

♪ Lost in the fog ♪
♪ These hollow hills ♪
♪ Blood running hot ♪
♪ Night chills ♪
♪ Without your love... ♪

Your father would have been disappointed with that portrait.

He would have been disappointed with a lot of things round here.

I found these among his things.

I thought you'd like them.

The Royal Museum asked for them but they deserve to live and not be shuttered in a case.

So did he.

You are very similar to him.

People used to say that about Robert, but Simon had tenacity... and drive.

And a lot of the qualities that you have.

You realize you're talking about a man who, supposedly, is not my biological father?

Yes. I do realize that.

But what I'm telling you is that when it comes to your greatness, biology is irrelevant.

Try telling that to the Crown.

♪ So long and lost...

I appreciate the cufflinks, Mum.

But what I don't appreciate is the small talk.

This monarchy is everything he tried to end and we both know it.

You're gonna need that more than I will.



How is it?

A bit tough.

Is it any wonder no-one eats these damn things?

Well, I've come to pay off my debts.

Shameful, really. Betting against your own grandson.

Mm. It's the Argentines who should be ashamed.

How could they lose?

Ah. Cyrus.

Did you fix the match?

Would I do something like that?


Well, in that case, I'm going to have to pay you with one of Simon's notes.

The people loved him, didn't they?

Of course they did. He was nice.

His monarchy was nice.

You know who wasn't nice? Attila The Hun.

Attila The Hun drowned in his own blood on his wedding night.

At least he didn't have to ask permission of Parliament to go to the lavatory.


I believe our wager was for £40, not 20.

40? Oh, was it?

Yes, it was.

Well, I do respect a king who demands accountability.

It's about time someone showed some balls around here.

I need to ask you about Lenny.

What happened between the two of you?

Before or after The King died?

Both, I guess.

Well, before, we had a relationship.

Sort of. You know what she's like.

And then she had me arrested.


Because I slept with your mum.

What the hell's wrong with you?

Go ahead.

She has trust issues.

I know that.

Son of a bitch!

And after? And I sincerely hope this sad, broken tale doesn't get worse.

And after I... followed her around the world.


Because there's a killer on the loose.

Because I have feelings for her.

Because I know I screwed up.

You think?

Someone needed to look after her.

I saw the press.

You don't know the half of it.

After that party that you read about in Paris, she just wandered around the city.

For hours.

And in Brazil... she charmed everyone and then just spent days crying in private.

I choked out more male models and drug dealers than Cyrus.

I asked Ted to reinstate you as my security detail.

I need your help.

But I need to know that I can trust you.

You can.

As far as Eleanor goes... the rest is yours to fix.

We've all got sh1t we've got to deal with.

This was hanging around my neck the night before The King was killed.

What does it mean?

I want you to find out.

But if I had to guess?

If we figure this out, we figure out who's been killing my family.

And then we make them pay.

Take it away. What's for dessert?

I believe we have a bun in the oven.

Well, this is a pleasant surprise.

How did you get in here?

Unlike you, I have friends in the palace.

For now. Well, your body certainly looks a fright.

But your mouth looks as succulent as ever.

You're disgusting.

It's £40.

Think of your child.

I believe you mean "our" child.

Throw a stick. There might even be a Pregnant Wenches of Cyrus Support Group you can join.

Yes. But that group was for Prince Cyrus.

I'm more concerned about King Cyrus.

You know, the one who can't seem to get the people to like him.

I press my panic button and your b*st*rd kid will be born in prison.


Our son will be born in the palace.

He'll be the rightful heir to the throne and your legacy will continue long after you're gone.

My daughters will see to that.

(Scoffs) Really?

Your daughters will be a laughing stock and as a result, so will you.

For the rest of time.

I'm offering you a chance to change that.

You fall in love... you have a son... and the world will see you differently.

Are you finished? Good.

Now, it's my turn.

I don't care what the people think of me.

And I don't care if you go to the press.

I have a bit of experience with paternity claims.

So you take that money, because it's all you'll ever get, and waddle your insipid, low-born, barely palatable poon back to the disease-infested shithole you crawled out of.

Bluff called.

Big moment dashed.

I've got 99 problems... and a bitch ain't one.

We'll see about that.


You go out tonight?

Yeah. Nothing special.


No. I haven't been out since...

I just have to set it down sometimes, you know?

Dad's death. And Robert.

So do you.

I can't, Len.

If I do, I'll be failing Dad again. I... can't do that.


I love you.

You know that?

What's that for?

I just never said it to Dad.

He knew.


"The rich man in his castle, the poor man at his gate."

Don't mock me.

I'm dead now, honey. I can do what I want.

I miss you.

♪ I will march down an empty street ♪
♪ Like a ship into the storm ♪
♪ No surrender, no retreat ♪
♪ I will tear down every wall ♪
♪ Just to keep you warm... ♪

'We are sorry. The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.'

♪ I will burn this city down ♪
♪ For a diamond in the dust ♪
♪ I will keep you safe and sound ♪
♪ When there's no-one left to trust ♪
♪ Will you take my hand? ♪
♪ We can make our stand... ♪

Um... I've been hired as Liam's security detail.

I just wanted you to know.

♪ If night falls in your heart ♪
♪ I'll light the fire... ♪

I'm sorry.

♪ When you sound the alarm ♪
♪ We'll find each other's arms ♪
♪ For your love, all you are ♪
♪ I'd start a riot ♪
♪ I will wade through the fire and smoke ♪
♪ Like sunlight through the haze ♪
♪ I will fight till their flag waves white ♪
♪ And 'til my dying days ♪
♪ Through the bombs and blasts ♪
♪ I will take you back ♪


Beck, what are you doing here?

I left her. For good.

♪ When you sound the alarm ♪
♪ We'll find each other's arms ♪
♪ For your love, all you are ♪
♪ I'd start a riot ♪
♪ I will wade through the fire and smoke ♪
♪ Like sunlight through the haze ♪
♪ I will fight till their flag waves white ♪
♪ And 'til my dying days ♪
♪ Through the bombs and blasts ♪
♪ I will take you back ♪
♪ If your world falls apart ♪
♪ I'd start a riot ♪
♪ If night falls in your heart ♪
♪ I'll light the fire ♪
♪ In the dark ♪
♪ When you sound the alarm ♪
♪ We'll find each other's arms ♪
♪ For your love, all you are ♪
♪ I'd start a riot ♪
♪ I'd start... I'd start a riot ♪
♪ I'd start... I'd start a riot... ♪

War has always been the defining moment for history's greatest queens.

Do you think they did it?

Oh... Of course they did.

We kill one of theirs; they kill two of ours.

The question is... what do you plan to do about it?

♪ If your world falls apart ♪
♪ I'd start a riot... ♪