04x01 - How Prodigal the Soul

All episode transcripts for the TV show "The Royals". Aired: March 2015 to May 2018.*
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"The Royals" revolves around the life of a modern-day, fictional royal family as they live in the public eye.
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04x01 - How Prodigal the Soul

Post by bunniefuu »

'Previously on The Royals...'

Robert's dead.

Robbie?

'If Robert hadn't been taken, you and I wouldn't have happened.'

If you think I'm giving up my reign without a fight, you'd better watch your back.

I will fight for you. Are you gonna tell me to stop?

Yes.

'What's going on? Everything was so good.'

- It was so good for you.
- And it wasn't for you?

I can't be in a relationship.
Not with you.

I love you.

I don't understand. There has to be a way to make this work.

That was lost when you slept with my brother.

Seems you won't be joining us.
That's a shame, brother.

- You created this.
- No. You created this.

I want you to start boutique hotels.

You'll be on the road for six months.

'I want easy, and Sebastian is.'

He's not the guy for you. I am.

If you leave this palace behind, don't leave us behind.

I made some adjustments to your list of potential brides for me.

'I've placed them in order of preference.'

(HELENA) 'In a very short amount of time, you have become essential to me.'

'No Spencer?'

Lord Chamberlain? I fired him.

(CHEERING)

I'm gonna blow my g*dd*mn brains out.

- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- What?!

I need your help.

(g*nsh*t)

Are you sh1tting me right now?

It just... went off.

You could've k*lled me!

Those things are dangerous.

Wait!

I'm sorry.

You damn well better be sorry!
You fired Spencer!?

My first official moment as King is being shoved in the back by my horned-up, vitriolic mother.

I don't care if you're crowned the g*dd*mn Queen of Sheba.

You don't fire my Lord Chamberlain.

- He was a liability.
- We were discreet.

No. You were discreet.

He was shopping a tell-all about time in your bedroom.

That can't be true.

I think the sample chapter was Christmas.

It was called Jiggy Pudding.

Oh, good God! I should have seen it.

There was a version of me that never would have let that happen.

I took care of it.
I was trying to protect you.

I'm sorry.

Why does everyone suspect the worst of me?

Well, I can't speak for everyone else, but... I suspect the worst of you, because I taught you everything you know.

Sorry if I shoved you.

Colin Yorke is back in town.

Apparently, he's going to make a run for Prime Minister.

And...?

And as I recall, Colin Yorke used to be your Spencer Hoenigsberg.

And now he's married.

Fair enough.

But it'd be good to have a voice in Parliament.

Someone who could do our bidding.

Someone we could trust.

Maybe you should get back in contact.

Let me get this straight.

You chase off the last man I got close to, admittedly with good reason, and now you're pimping out a married politician.

I take issue with you sleeping with the help.

I have no issue with you sleeping with someone who CAN help.

You're incorrigible.

Go on your coronation tour.

(LIAM) 'The King has a secret.'

And it's a secret very few people know.

And the secret is this...

He was making payments.

Deposits.

I did what I was told.

I transferred the money.

For Prince Robert.

To who?

Ted Pryce.

How much money?

Several million.

At least, that's what Boone said.

Why would Robert be paying Ted Pryce?

To k*ll my father.

Need I remind you, Ted Pryce was also trying to k*ll your brother?

Or was he? What if Robert and Ted were working together...

... and my brother's time on that island was simply the greatest alibi ever created?

He had a chance to come home, several chances, but he stayed on the island...

Until Simon was dead.

It's damn brilliant, actually, if it's true.

Help me prove it, will you?

No. I won't.

Because, if this is true, that psychopath is operating at a level that you can't even begin to understand.

But you can.

Take me under your wing.
Teach me how to defeat him.

Do you understand how insidious this is?

To pay a madman to k*ll your father, then willingly have your plane sh*t down, stranding yourself on a deserted island for months.

If he actually did it, maybe he deserves to be King.

No.

My father deserved to be King. He doesn't.

Help me prove it.

I'll think about it.

For now, go away.

Your earnestness creeps me out.

Stay safe and have fun.

Just not in a... Royal Beaver kind of way.

- (LAUGHS) Bye!
- Dad would be proud of you.

I love you, sis.

I love you. No Liam?

It's outrageous how selfish he can be.

Ah, here's the selfish prick now.

The press wondered why you missed my coronation.

Did you say it's because my brother's an arsehole?

Yeah. I said, "My brother's an arsehole."

Okay, enough. King, walk away.

Prince, say goodbye to your sister.

Bye, darling. Bye.

You're actually leaving me with these nut-jobs?

Yeah. Sorry.

Liam, can I tell you something?

Not to be a bitch, but because I love you.

Things were fine between you and Robbie before Kathryn.

Why don't you do yourself a favor and stay away from her?

What if I told you to stay away from Jasper?

What do you think I'm trying to do?

If you want to look back, he's still there.

(SEBASTIAN) Damn. We look good together.

It's too bad we're not... actually together.

Look, it's good press for the Hoteleanors.

Hey, I'm thinking black. For the trim.

I love black.

Apparently, so do you, according to this article.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Well, I suppose quietly working hard doesn't make for good press.

No, it doesn't.

You know what does?

Us. Enjoying a day together.

Thanks, but you know I've got to be somewhere.

See you tomorrow.

Rosie. I'm going out. Ow!

(GASPS) Whoops.

Tell us about this new venture. Hoteleanor.

Why this? Why now?

Well, I've traveled a lot, but I haven't really seen that much of the world.

So, not only was this an opportunity to challenge myself and be creative, but, also, it was a chance to see the world.

'The real world.'

(REPORTER) 'It can be a scary place.'

(ELEANOR) 'Maybe so.'

But someone once taught me that, to find yourself, to find your truth...

... you need to get lost a bit first.

Hi.

(BRASS BAND PLAYING RULE BRITANNIA)

Royal salute!

I'm sorry, Kathryn.

You didn't deserve any of that.

I deserved some of it. We should have told him the truth.

He should have told us the truth.

So, what's the difference?

You were looking out for us as brothers.

He was being insidious.

He wanted you to fall for him, just so he could hurt you.

If I knew how he was with you, I would have reached out sooner.

I was trying to give you space.

It's okay.

I'm gonna go away for a bit.

Why?

Because I need to clear my head... and try and find the person that I used to be.

And because Ben Franklin didn't call me a whore.

Looks a bit cocky, if you ask me.

Welcome home, Your Majesty.

Now, I need a couple of things from you. First, no curtseying.

And secondly, call me anything but Your Majesty.

Yes, Your Maj... Yes... sir?

- Well, we can work on that.
- (CHUCKLES)

So, how are all things social-media?

Very encouraging.

Your Snapchat and Instagram posts and Facebook Live entries from the tour saw unprecedented coverage.

The kids like you.

Smoke and mirrors.

But we all know the keeper of the smoke and mirrors is you.

You're doing excellent work. Thank you.

It's my pleasure, Your Maj... It's my pleasure.

- Anything else?
- Erm... No. Nothing else.

Okay. Well, I'll be in my office.

Oh, and Willow... I haven't forgotten you.

The list of my potential brides.
You're still at the top.

Now I'm back, let's discuss.

Once you're settled.

It's genuinely good to see you.

You as well, Your Majesty.

Sorry. I'll... work on it.

It's good. I'm proud of you.

I couldn't have done it without you.

Well, I could, but who'd have carried the heavy things?

It's time we move on to our next port of call.

You should probably tell Liam we're on the move. He wrote you again.

Right. Thanks.

Hey. Long time, no see.

Yeah... Have you seen my brother?

I think he's meeting with the Prime Minister.

- Are you okay?
- Just...

Something about Kathryn.

I'll talk to him later.

Erm... Liam...

There's something I've been meaning to tell you.

It's about the King's list of potential brides.

- Is Kathryn on it?
- No.

But I am.

- Of course you are.
- Why do you say that?

He put you on his list to mess with me. We're friends.

He knows that. You're another thing he can take from me.

I see. I'm a thing?

I'm an unattractive thing that has no business being on any reasonable list.

- That's not what I meant.
- No, it's fine.

If you'll excuse me, I'll be guarding the bridge outside, with the other unsightly trolls.

Willow...

(DOOR SLAMS)

You take me on, and I promise you I'll do whatever it takes to destroy that son-of-a-bitch.

- Why?
- He's not a king.

But you are? Isn't that what this is?

It's not merely about taking the crown from your brother.

It's about keeping it for yourself.

Melt it down or bury it, for all I care.

But he's not going to wear it.

And if he was paying Ted Pryce... if they were working together...

I'll k*ll him before I let him deceive everyone.

Okay. I'll help you.

I'll train you.

I recognize something in you I can work with.

Hate.

Hatred for your older brother.

Been there, done that.

Welcome to the dark side.

I assure you, it's much more fun down here.

♪ I'm always in a greasy ♪
♪ kind of love ♪

♪ I'm always in a greasy ♪
♪ kind of love ♪

(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

♪ I'm always in a greasy ♪
♪ kind of love ♪

Sleeping Beauty rises.

What are we doing?

Well, I'm having a double Martini...

... and you're sporting a fairly impressive morning glory.

You said you'd help me.

All we've done for eight weeks is get wasted.

Have faith, dear nephew.

We're making impeccable progress.

Speaking of, we're late.

sh*t, shower and shave.

Your training continues.

Three months and they haven't fixed that bloody door?

I told them not to. I like it like this.

It reminds me of our mission.

To blow a hole in this g*dd*mn fake empire.

Now, let's go. Being hung over is for pussies!

♪ How long would it take before ♪
♪ I gave up everything? ♪

♪ Never really learned ♪
♪ from mistakes... ♪

Let me ask you a question, dear nephew:

How long have you known?

- How long have I known what?
- That you're a raging h*m*.

What?

That server has been hitting on you, and you've barely glanced at her.

I'm not trying to sleep with her.

That girl holds the key to vanquishing your brother.

She's what we've been doing for two months.

Who is she?

If Robert was paying Ted Pryce, he'd have used one of two personal bankers.

She's the daughter of the second one.

And how are you sure it's not the first one?

Because I ignored that man's safe word so many times, he told me every secret in his sordid little closet.

Trust me - it's not the first one.

Her head and her bed will lead us to Ted.

Make it happen.

♪ Shouldn't come as a surprise ♪

♪ But, boy, how you make me cry ♪

This is what I'd do to promote your south-London appearance on each of our respective social-media accounts.

I got you something. We said we'd talk, and you've been polite about waiting.

You've had a few things going on.

Well, that's not fair to you. Please.

A little bird told me that you liked elephants.

What little bird?

Well, actually, a dedicated team of researchers.

- (CHUCKLES)
- I hope you do.

I do. Very much.

- Can I ask you something?
- Mmm.

Isn't it odd for you, selecting your future wife from a list of candidates?

Well, people meet online.
They use dating apps.

We're doing the same thing.

I just have a more restricted roster of candidates.

I don't think I can accept this.

Or be on your list. I'm sorry.

- You have someone?
- No.

Then would it be completely intolerable if we went for a drink together?

After that, if you want to walk away and keep things... strictly professional, we will.

And you don't think it would affect our working relationship?

I would never let that happen.

They practice altruism.

Elephants.

They're incredibly selfless.

That is why the lion is the king of the jungle.

(CHUCKLES)

Please. Accept my gift, and stay on the list.

I promise I won't make our date completely horrible.

One drink.

- Soon.
- Soon.

Good luck with your speech.

And... thank you for this...

... Your Majesty.

(REPORTER) 'You've been seeing all these exotic locations.

Do you ever get lonely?'

(ELEANOR) 'I used to have a problem with being alone, but I don't any more. I actually enjoy it.

There's a difference. You know.

Between being lonely and being alone.

Being alone is being solitary.

Not a terrible thing, if you've lived your life on display.

Being lonely is worse.

I still struggle with that.'

- The ever-vigilant Mr. Frost.
- Your Majesty.

I would like your opinion.

I want to make a speech in south London next month, but Mr. Hill thinks it's a bad idea.

He thinks the atmosphere is too volatile.

I want to know what you think.

I think James Hill is your Head of Security for a reason.

Well, let's say I defy Mr. Hill and do my speech, in spite of his concerns.

Could you protect me?

Well, I'd need to scout the area, put a team together.

But I work for you.

My job is to keep you safe, no matter what.

I like that answer. Put your team together.

I trust you.

Then again, my father trusted HIS security detail, didn't he?

I'm not Ted Pryce.

I hope not.

South London.

- I am so sorry I'm late.
- You're always late.

If you weren't so handsome, it would be an issue.

- Guess what.
- What?

- I got you a present.
- What? Why?

It's our one-month anniversary.

It's full, because I know how you feel about the opera.

- Do you like it?
- It's really great, Greta.

(PHONE BEEPS)

- Oh, no.
- Everything okay?

My parents want me to come for the weekend.

Is it that bad?

No. Not really.

It's just... my father's a bit intense.

And my mother will spend all weekend asking about you.

Unless...

(GASPS)

Do you want to come?

And meet your intense father and your nosey mum?

- How could I say no?
- You're the best.

How was the opera?

How did you know I was at the opera?

Erm... the world knows you were at the opera, Liam.

(CHUCKLES) I've been trying to minimize the damage online,

- to give you more time with...
- Greta.

Thanks.

Listen. Erm...

I said something to you a while back,

and it's been bothering me.

I never meant to imply that... you're not good enough to be on Robert's list.

Of course you are. You're good enough to be on anyone's list.

He's not good enough for you.

He was horrible to Kathryn.

You mean the same Kathryn who was seeing both of you?

Not after she discovered he was alive.

And, in turn, he led her on, manipulated her, and when she finally said she loved him, he called her a common whore and walked away from her.

That can't be true.

You're right. It's not.

He slept with her, and then called her a whore.

Ask him about it.

Look him in the eyes when he lies to you.

You have good instincts about people.

Trust them.

♪ This is my greatest victory ♪

♪ My independency ♪

♪ Nothing holds me down no more ♪

♪ This is ♪
♪ what I've been fighting for ♪

♪ This is all I need ♪

♪ This is all I need ♪

♪ My independency ♪

♪ This is all I need ♪

(VEHICLE ENGINE)

♪ My independency ♪

No!

(THUDS AND GRUNTS)


Aargh!

You're about to cause a serious international incident. (GASPS)

(g*n CLICKS)

Big Kn*fe? Over-compensating for something?

(HE GROANS)

- Are you okay, Princess?
- Yeah... I think so.

We should probably go.

♪ This is all I need ♪

Up next on Royal and Beautiful, Prince Hansel gets a new pony.

- What is this?
- It's brown!

(DOOR OPENING)

(TV OFF)

Rachel tells me you're bored AF.

No. I was bored AF, but now I have television.

I'm currently re-watching every episode of Royal And Beautiful.

Well, if you can drag yourself away...

... how would you like to plan a Royal wedding?

Am I so far out of the loop that you're already engaged without me knowing?

Oh, no, but I plan to be.

A Royal wedding would be good for the country.

For the economy. And for this family. Don't you agree?

Of course I do. It's just that...

Simon used to need my counsel...

Cyrus needed my wiles... but you appear to be just fine on your own.

If anybody knows what a facade that is, it's you.

I may not have told you in a while, but I will always need you, Mummy.

You haven't, but it's nice to hear... even if it isn't true.

I'll plan your wedding.

Now go. I want to watch Hansel ride his new pony again.

TV: 'I'm not a common boy,

I'm the Crown Prince of Liechtenstein!'

People always leave.

Len...?

I'm fine.

You shouldn't be out there.

You know it's dangerous for someone like you.

I wanted to be more like my father.

I just wanted to believe I could be normal, away from the palace.

I know you've been walking to keep the memory of your father close, but you've also been running from those.

Letters from Liam.

With... letters from Jasper.

What brother misses his sister that much? It's creepy.

I haven't read them.

Not a single one.

I wasn't ready to do it.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

I told you to build something for you.

Not for me and not for him.

But now I think you need to read what he has to say, and once you do, you'll know where to go from there.

♪ Let winter break ♪

- I'm glad you're safe.
- Thank you.

♪ Let it burn till I see you again ♪

♪ I will be here with you ♪

♪ Just like I told you ♪

♪ I would ♪

♪ I'd love to always love you ♪

♪ But I'm scared of loneliness ♪

♪ When I'm alone with you ♪

♪ I know it's hard ♪

♪ Only you and I ♪

♪ Is it all for me? ♪

♪ Because I know it's all for you ♪

♪ And I guess, I guess it is ♪

♪ Hell ♪

♪ And... you are the only thing ♪

♪ I've ever truly known ♪

♪ So I hesitate ♪

♪ If I can act the same ♪

♪ For you ♪

♪ And my darling, I'll be rooting for you ♪

♪ And my darling, I'll be rooting for you ♪

♪ And where did she go? ♪

I think it's time to go home.

♪ And I need her... ♪

(REPORTER) 'Will it bother you if people don't respond to this?

If they don't like what you've done?'

(ELEANOR) 'Everyone likes to be liked.'

You can't live your life like that.

If you put yourself out there, haters will find you.

That's fine. It's their world, too.

But I guess you have to ask yourself if you're satisfied with what you did and who you've been while you did it.

That's where it begins and ends.

♪ And my darling, I'll ♪
♪ be rooting for you ♪

The posts are overwhelmingly positive.

Show me the ones that aren't, it's important that I see both sides of the conversation.

Of course. But first, I'd like to show you how much love you're getting online.

Look at some of these.
Millions of likes...

Can I ask you what... happened between you two?

I was fairly reprehensible with Kathryn.

Well, more than fairly.

The thought of coming home to her kept me alive on that island.

But when I discovered she'd replaced me with my brother, I became spiteful and jealous.

Not a version of anyone I ever want to be again.

Or plan to be again.

Why did you put me on the list?

The truth. Please.

I think a better question is: why wouldn't I put you on the list?

I see you manage my family every day with grace and kindness...

... and I know it's not easy, but you make it look effortless.

Discreet. Elegant. Not a hair out of place.

But when it is, when you're focused and concentrating, you erm... tuck it behind your right ear, and it's nothing short of astonishing.

But now I say it out loud, it seems a little creepy that I've noticed!

No.

It doesn't at all.

To be honest, putting you at the top of that list was selfish, but it was the easiest and most exhilarating thing I've done since I left the island.

It's a dark world out there, Wilhelmina.

Perhaps even darker in here.

But your goodness is compelling and captivating and so worth protecting.

Look, I understand your reservations.

So, whatever you decide...

Okay.

One drink.

Soon?

Right.

- Did I mention that walk?
- Don't ruin it.

Right.

(SIREN IN DISTANCE)

(LIVELY CHATTER)

(SHOUTING)

(BURST OF SIREN)

Have you spoken to Eleanor?

No.

But you've written to her.

Perhaps a letter or two a week.

Yes.

I asked you to do two things: protect me and stay away from my sister.

Two very simple demands.

Well, if those are the job requirements, then I resign.

Go back to being a conman with Daddy?

I'll take my chances.

Relax.

Resignation not accepted.

I need you by my side today.

Besides, these things have a way of working themselves out.

(CROWD SHOUTING)

(ANGRY SHOUTING)

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

(PHONE PINGS)

(SIGHS)

- Planning something?
- A wedding. Robert's.

It may be Robert's wedding, but it's your funeral.

Once he takes a bride, you're out. Forgotten.

Dowager.

We'll see about that.

(ANGRY SHOUTING)

♪ I know that you're ready to go ♪

South London is an embarrassment.

(SHOUTING)

The people here are responsible for their own demise.

(SHOUTING)

We should burn it to the ground and rebuild it.

(SHOUTING)

These are the words that I've read in the papers and on social media.

The words that I've heard your politicians say in Parliament.

The words that the leaders that you elected believe to be true.

(SHOUTING)

Well, those people are wrong.

I know a lot of you are suffering, that you're made to believe that you don't have a stake in this city, that you don't have a voice in this conversation, that there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel.

Well, I'm here today to tell you that this IS your city.

(CHEERING)

That you do have a voice.

And that there is most definitely a light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is you.

(CHEERING)

You have been fed a convenient deceit by the politicians and the media that the disenfranchised and the poor of this nation only have themselves to blame.

That is a trick.

That is a lie, and it ends here today.

(CHEERING)

New business won't come here.

The utility companies won't work here.

Parliament doesn't consider you, and the police don't care.

Well, I have learned one thing in this world: you fight power with power.

(CHEERING)

And I happen to have that power.

Let me join you.

We will work together, rise up together...

- Yes!
- ... and overcome together.

(CHEERING)

And our kids will never know of this struggle, because south London will prosper and thrive more than ever before!

(CHEERING)

They say south London is dead...but they said that about me once.

Here's to our comeback!

- (CHEERING)
- Here's to our resurrection.

Here's to our victory! Together!

(WILD CHEERING)

(CHANTING) God save the King! God save the King!

God save the King! God save the King! God save the King!

Greta invited me to meet her parents this weekend.

Well played, my nefarious prodigy.

Your nefarious prodigy is having second thoughts.

Well, don't.

Her father holds the key to finally besting your brother and taking back what that arsehole stole from me.

And stole from you.

I just feel bad about Greta.

Which is exactly what King Robert is counting on.

So, let me ask you something.
The only thing.

Do you want to avenge your father and bring a m*rder*r to justice, or would you rather spare the feelings of some girl you're never gonna see again?

Have a nice weekend.

And if you see your brother, the King, make sure you bow.

Everybody else does.

♪ The sky above, the soaring dove ♪

(REPORTER) 'How does it feel, knowing we've watched you grow up since the day you were born?'

It feels like I'm still growing.

And you've only watched one version of me grow up.

(REPORTER) We've seen a few versions - fashion icon, socialite, sexual provocateur, cautionary tale.

Which do you prefer?

I'm just a girl. You know?

'You can see me how you want to see me.'

(REPORTER) 'And none of that bothers you?'

Not trying to be great - that bothers me.

(CHEERING)

God save the King! God save the King! God save the King!

God save the King! God save the King!

Sir, I really think we should go now.

Just stay with me.

(CHEERING)

Just one last question.

Are you happy?

I am today.

(CHEERING)

(CHANTING) God save the King!

(g*nsh*t)

(SCREAMING)

♪ Your hand in mine ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

(SCREAMING AND CHANTING)

(GROANING)

(GROANING)

(PHONE BUZZING)

♪ I'll be right beside you ♪

♪ When you rest ♪
♪ your broken bones ♪

♪ Don't go ♪

♪ I need you ♪
♪ to be waiting for me ♪

♪ Every time I'm home ♪

♪ Don't go ♪

♪ I'll be right beside you ♪

♪ When you rest ♪
♪ your broken bones ♪
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