Transcripts - Forever Dreaming
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02x06 - Max Wager
https://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=251&t=23700
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Author:  bunniefuu [ 11/11/15 11:30 ]
Post subject:  02x06 - Max Wager


Liv: Previously on iZombie...

Have you called?

You have a gambling problem.

Telly was sent to collect on your gambling debts?

You thought you could disappear Telly's body but first you had to get his body past the security cameras.

I didn't kill Mike. We have a fixer that works at our firm.

I had no idea that was part of his plan.

Son turns father into a member of the undead.

What is it you want?

Your entire company.

And I'm gonna stick you in the same hellhole where you stuck grandpa.

Says here you were slinging for Stacey Boss.

I need everything you can tell me about Mr. Boss' crime organization.

Mrs. Suzuki.

I found this.

I didn't know what to make of it.

I, I know all the risks, and all the reasons it can't work.

But I don't care.

I want us to be together again.

[SONG PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

Whoa! Eggs!

Mmm. Mmm-mmm.

[HUMMING]

Feel it [VOLUME RAISING]

What's shakin', bacon?

Body snatchers?

If that's Rihanna coming downstairs, it'll explain so much.

Morning, everyone.

Wait, wait, wait. Is this happening?

It's happening.

About damn time.

But it won't always be this nauseating, right?

Suffer, bitch.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Detective!

Look, I know you're bummed the judge ignored your warning, but he's right, I'm no flight risk.

Why would I run?

I got the plea deal of the century.

Any tips on how to best enjoy freedom?

Try Mike Hayden's funeral.

All those kids he coached should be there.

I was thinking something more like golf.

Enjoy prison, Mr. Cole.

Minimum security.

I hear they just reseeded the back nine.

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

[HUMMING]

Did you and Major have s*x?

Whoa. Aren't Brits supposed to be repressed?

What would Judi Dench say?

She'd say we don't know a lot about the sexual transmission of zombie-ism.

Er, in this version, Judi Dench knows about zombies.

Did you and Major have s*x?

No.

Good.

Not yet. You know, people with HIV...

You don't have HIV.

Still, condoms should be...

Let's hope.

But let me run a few tests first, okay?

Okay.

You can hold off for a few days?

Maybe.

Yes.

Miss Moore, can I borrow you for a few minutes?

There he is.

The man of the hour.

Man of the hour?

We've been pulling bullets out of Mr. Cole all day.

We heard you were inches away.

Yards away. Nothing heroic about not getting shot.

Well, did you soil yourself?

No.

Then it's heroic in my book.

Thanks?

Hmm.

Our first move's clear. We know our late friend here was about to be the star witness in a murder trial.

So the guy he sold out is either very lucky or very guilty of commissioning the murder of a witness.

I've got him upstairs, let's go.

Wait, now?

I haven't eaten yet.

Well, grab something out of the vending machine on your way up.

I was kinda hoping for something more substantial.

You've billed on dozens of cases, Mr. Thrunk.

But when I looked at the court records, you know what I found?

Detailed history of court cases?

I found that you haven't been in a courtroom in nine years.

You've got a nice office for a lawyer who doesn't practice law.

I practice enough to know when detectives are fishing.

Maybe, but I've got a couple of bites.

I know that when Harry Cole was being shaken down by a lowlife, Telly Levine, he killed him.

Then he called you to clean up his mess.

But the night security guy saw you with the body.

So now you had a problem.

See, back when Harry was alive, he told us that's your real job, fixing problems.

And Harry swore that when Mr. Hayden became your problem, you fixed him.

And that, with Harry's tragic passing, is inadmissible hearsay.

Anything else?

I'll take that wordless exchange as a no.

Look, Detective, how did I order this hit?

I was in jail. Eyes on me the whole time.

I only made one call, to my colleague, which I'm sure was recorded.

Did you hear me order a hit?

Oh, we heard something.

[BEEPS]

Thrunk:Give Marie and Walt my Seahawks tickets.

I won't be out in time.

And one more thing.

Take care of Mr. Sheldon.

Use the usual guy.

[BEEPS]

Who's Mr. Sheldon, Roger?

Figure it out.

You figure "take care of Mr. Sheldon" is code for "murder Harry Cole"?

If it is, and we can prove it, Marie and Walt will be catching a lot more Seahawks games.

I'm also tracking the motorcycle.

Here's where the shooting took place.

They took off heading north.

A mounted officer saw them fly by right here.

Heading toward the water.

What if they dumped the bike in the Sound?

I requested frogmen. We'll see if it leads to anything.

It's gotta be Roger Thrunk, doesn't it?

We already know he's a murderer.

Let's not forget Harry owed someone enough money that a goon was sent to collect.

The man's a degenerate gambler.

That was kind of his dominant personality trait, huh?

This is gonna get ugly.

Suzuki's widow gave you a brain?

Yeah. In a piece of Tupperware.

Like she was handing me cake.

And you think it's human?

I do.

But I can't ask our lab to test it without saying where it's from, and we're already in the doghouse for looking into Suzuki.

I can send it into the FBI lab.

Where is it now?

It's in my freezer.

Your freezer?

What chain of custody protocol includes your freezer?

I didn't know what the hell to do with it.

The whole thing is nuts.

And get this.

A guy I think is connected to the Meat Cute murders kept going on about brains.

What guy?

The guy walking toward us holding hands with the psychic I told you about.

Oh, no. Abort. Just turn around.

I'm already waving, that would be incredibly weird.

Nut up.

Liv: Hey, you.

Didn't know you existed outside the station.

I thought you were just put back in your Detective Clive box.

Pull his string and he says, "Miss Moore, please."

[ALL CHUCKLING]

Liv, Major. This is Agent Bozzio from the FBI.

Dale. It's nice to get a name.

In my head you've been, um, "Girl from the morgue who somehow makes goth work."

Oh, that is her Native American name.

Hi, I'm Barely Employed Arm Candy.

No. I'm Major.

You certainly are.

So, the FBI sent you to Seattle?

How're you finding it?

Ten bucks says you miss.

What? From here?

I'm automatic from this distance.

Put your money where your mouth is, then.

Now you're thinking about it.

I'm in your head.

I mean, seriously? Ten bucks?

That is the sound of a man's sphincter shrinking.

Ah, it's your money.

Pay up.

What? I just made you look good in front of your date.

You should be paying me.

Oh, wait, this isn't a...

It's not?

Why did I pay, then?

You're saying that I'm not getting any or... [COUGHS]

[LAUGHS] It's good to see you two together.

Last I heard, you were broken up.

And now we're not.

Seems like romance is in the air.

Nice to meet you.

He's not going to let the Meat Cute thing gog.

He's got the FBI involved now?

No. That's not why she's here.

Oh. Okay. Well, good.

No, she's looking into all those abduction cases.

Abduction cases?

All those rich guys that keep disappearing?

It's all over the news.

The Feds think it's some Manson-y kill-the-rich nut.

Blaine: He was frugal in life.

Perhaps in death it's finally time he made a bold statement?

Blaine.

I'm discussing statuary, Don.

We've got customers.

Downstairs.

Son.

Dad.

I'd hoped your first visit here would be more... Horizontal.

I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

[GASPS]

Ah.

You work for me now.

Chief, you had one job.

You're gonna need a bigger box for your employee here.

We usually just chop off the feet. Nobody looks down there.

What do you know about the Titans?

Perennial AFC South underachievers.

The money I could've saved on private schools.

Cronus, king of the Titans, ruled the universe.

A prophecy said he'd be overthrown by his son.

Each time his wife produced one, he'd kill it. Know how?

Bored them to death?

He ate them.

Ah! You're hungry.

I've got a special on color-blind electrician.

Nothing in ungrateful parasite?

What? Me?

Zombie brains don't do the trick.

Every zombie knows this.

Yes, but you're no longer a zombie, are you?

The last time you dropped by my office, I was ready.

I had you followed.

That woman who does your makeup?

Tsk. She has a low threshold for pain.

I know all the names on your client list.

That pounding in your ears is the sound of your leverage evaporating.

I am the new CEO here.

[CLEARS THROAT]

You love being human.

The food. The s*x.

You always were a hedonist.

You're built for it, so...

You'll do what I say, when I say it, or... [INHALES SHARPLY]

Back to Zombieland for you.

Got it?

Excellent.

Here's your first job.

Mark Jarrett.

A rival of mine. Needs taking care of.

You want his brain?

Help yourself to some trade secrets?

His son's, actually. He's the heir apparent, in on everything.

So, I get the trade secrets and the bonus of emotionally devastating my rival.

Oh.

So this guy loves his son?

The boy's vacationing on Mount Rainier.

A remote cabin. Should be easy pickings.

Well, get to it.

Knock out this assignment and there's an employee of the month trophy with your name on it.

Not even interested in how I was cured, huh?

Why would I be?

Immortality suits me. [SNAPS FINGERS]

Does this step on your plans to have me carted off to a nursing home?

[LAUGHING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Oh! Holy crap!

Chief, buddy. You're okay!

Dude, he's not okay.

He's so far from okay.

[SIGHS]

I'm taking maple bar.

You can have the field. Double or nothing.

You already owe me ten bucks.

Did you not hear me say double or nothing?

These are a decade of Harry Cole's e-mails, old yearbooks, anything that might help us make a connection from Mr. Sheldon to Harry.

I've reached out to Harry's widow, but she hasn't gotten back to me yet, so...

Damn it, Wilkins!

Let's roll this one over.

Next donut out of the box has sprinkles.

Mm-mm. Pay up.

Time to pay up, Harry. Barber's done waiting.

[GASPS]

I know that look. What'd you see?

Telly, the collections guy, was threatening Harry, telling him to pay up.

He said the barber's done waiting for his money.

How poetic is it that a barber sends a thug to collect from a guy named Harry.

How expensive are haircuts, anyway?

Ah. Not a barber.

The Barber.

Operator of one of the biggest books in town. Dangerous cat.

Why's he called The Barber?

Okay, that's the Lions, Bama, Garcia from team...

[BELL RINGS]

There's a lot of Tigers out there, man, you've got to be more specific.

It's gonna be about an hour wait, son, but I will give you a fade so polished that it will blind you.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[COMMENTARY RUNNING ON TELEVISION]

Got it, all set.

We're here about the murder of Harry Cole.

Gunned down on the courthouse steps.

My, my, my.

So, what brings you here?

Oh, for a start, he owed you $75,000.

Not to mention, he caved in your collection guy's skull with a baseball bat.

Yeah, yeah, listen, guys, let me tell you about that...

Use hypotheticals when you answer.

They're inadmissible.

How long you think I've been doing this, Counselor?

Hmm?

Let's just say that Harry owed me big.

Let's say he even killed my employee.

Hypothetically.

What do you think "let's say" means? Huh?

So, you think the smart play is to spray downtown with bullets in broad daylight, hmm?

Is that how a smart businessman operates?

Ah, could be.

Anyone else who owed that smart businessman money would be quick to pay.

From what I read in the paper, I'd be looking at the guy your vic was going to testify against.

I'd take that guy, what's his name, Roger Thrunk?

Against the field.

Yeah, yeah, I kind of like the widow, myself, though.

You know, degenerate gambler husband destroying their future.

Maybe there was a life insurance policy.

You ever think of that?

The moron's on the damn rail!

Listen, if I happen to be right, and the widow is flush, you have her to drop on by and see me, okay?

What odds are you giving on the notorious bookie Harry owed money?

Man, I don't even have a motorcycle license.

Hypothetically.

Literally.

Thread the needle, baby! That soft grass is nothing, it's nothing.

[COMMENTARY RUNNING ON TELEVISION]

Gotta admit. Life insurance, not a bad angle.

You and murderous spouses, Clive. Never get married.

It's just Harry's widow keeps dodging my calls.

Even if she's innocent, she could help us on the Mr. Sheldon...

I forgot my sunglasses.

Give me Alas Poor Yorick, Edison Lighthouse and Filly Cheesesteak in a trifecta box in the third at Saratoga.

This feels like entrapment.

How much are we talkin' about?

$24.

And yeah, Filly Cheesesteak's a female in a male field, but she's breaking from a single-figure draw, she's a demon on mud and we both know you don't bring in a jockey like Santiago if you're just there for the juleps.

Take it.

[COMMENTARY RUNNING ON TELEVISION]

Oh.

Silver dollar. Make it 25.

That silver dollar. Is that a Susan B. Anthony?

Then you keep it. Those things are lucky.

I've got that lucky feeling today, Doc.

Give me some good news on the safe s*x research.

Oh, nothing certain yet, though I have proven that when you purchase boxes of every brand of condom available at once, the lady at the drugstore counter looks at you funny.

Is that a balloon animal?

Ah, yeah, clown college.

Um, I'm available for parties.

I tracked down Harry's widow, but we've got to hurry.

Where are we going?

Shady Plots Funeral Home.

Harry's memorial service is happening right now.

If anyone needs to know where I am, you be sure to let them know.

Will do. [CLEARS THROAT]

Harry would've loved to have seen you all here.

He was a man who leaned on his friends and he wanted to be a man others could lean on...

I feel dirty showing up here.

If she'd called me back, we wouldn't have to be.

I've got some morgue business to talk to the funeral director about.

I'll be back.

Hola, mi amigo.

Como estas?

Join me for my last meal.

My partner is upstairs, the detective who has a sketch of you and wants to talk about Meat Cute.

So you need to stay down here.

Not that I think you could climb these stairs.

Mwa mwa mwa mwa.

Mwa mwa mwa.

That's what you sound like.

Yes, I received the good doctor's call.

Yes, I'll stay downstairs.

Are you ever happy you're a zombie?

You should know that's a stupid question.

Is it?

Before I became a zombie, I was wasting my life.

Human Blaine was a nobody.

An underachiever. He was a, he was a joke.

Zombie Blaine, though...

Zombie Blaine was the man.

He was a murderer.

But he was exceptional.

Kinda miss that guy. And you?

Would you have ever become, uh, Liv Moore, dispenser of justice, if I hadn't scratched you?

There's a part of ou that loves it.

You're important now.

[LAUGHS] Admit it. I gave you a gift.

What about the visions? Miss those?

Seeing the worst moments of people's lives, never knowing when you're going to experience the terror of feeling like you're about to die?

Enjoy your hangover.

Are you suggesting that I killed my husband for an insurance payout?

It's the first question they teach us in detective school.

I'm sorry if it sounds indelicate.

There was no insurance.

All Harry's money went to his addiction.

As far as you know, did anyone ever refer to your husband as Mr. Sheldon?

They couldn't have taught that question in detective school.

He's was called many things.

Mr. Sheldon wasn't one of them.

I'll be damned.

Calvin Owens.

He and Harry were college buddies.

I saw him put up a 30-20 on the Knicks in the Garden his rookie season.

Are we done here?

Yeah.


I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. Cole.

Thank you.

We should probably go talk to Calvin.

You look like me going to see NSYNC when I was 10.

Is this guy a big deal?

Not one week ago you were dissecting the triangle offense and now you know nothing about one of the greatest players of his generation?

I know he's good looking.

We probably should go talk to him.

Mr. Owens, Clive Babineaux, Seattle PD.

Do you mind if I ask you some questions about Harry Cole?

Doubt I know anything relevant, but sure.

Harry's widow said you and Harry were college buddies.

Yeah. We met our freshman year.

So he was probably there when you crushed Duke in the round of sixteen?

God, that was sweet.

Probably. He went to most games.

Um...

Can you think of anyone who might want to hurt Harry?

Aside from what's already in the news?

Not really.

All right.

Well, if that's all...

Oh, yeah, um, that's... That's it.

Do you want to talk about basketball?

I just have to ask about Ewing.

I mean, you played him in his prime.

He was a great player.

If his knees would've held out...

We're talking multiple Knicks titles.

See, that's what I'm always saying.

Uh...

On another front, who you got for the college championship?

If someone were thinking about making it interesting?

You'd be crazy if you didn't take Arizona.

If you don't mind, I have a car waiting.

Oh, of course. But before you go, can I see the ring? I mean, up close.

Yeah, no problem.

Go home, Harry.

Harry: Do you want my blood on your hands?

I've given you all I can.

Harry: You don't know what these psychos will do to me!

Calvin.

[GASPS]

Should I tell you the vision I just had or do you need a minute?

[CLEARS THROAT] I'm good.

Harry was asking Calvin for money.

He was terrified someone was going to kill him.

Seems to point to the Barber.

What was Calvin's answer?

He said he'd given enough.

[PHONE VIBRATING]

Yes!

Nice.

Trust me, if Harry knew what it was about, he'd approve.

[BELL RINGING]

Gentlemen.

Well, if it isn't Filly Cheesesteak.

Get the lady her prize.

[COMMENTARY RUNNING ON TELEVISION]

You interested in turning that little into a lot?

Got a special on San Antonio-Golden State.

You're not getting better than 150, San Antonio's at home.

150 on San Antonio at home? I'm in.

Hey, Officer, since you're here, you got any scoop on the case?

None that I can give out.

First thing, I think we cross off any underworld figures given the theatrical nature of the crime.

Jimmy Hoffa. That's the way a pro does it.

Hypothetically.

No, no, no. Strangers on a Train.

There's your perfect crime.

No, no, no. Perfect murder?

You get the guy you want to get rid of to kill himself.

You just ask real nice?

Hypothetically...

You just Skype the guy you want done.

He answers, and there on camera, he sees his wife, his family, his dog, whoever, with guns to their head.

You make it clear that it's him or them.

Believe me, he'll do it.

Gotta hit the road. Places to go, people to see.

What about the wife and the family?

You've got yourself witnesses.

Guess you gotta get rid of them, too.

Counselor: Hypothetically.

[BELL RINGS]

[DOOR OPENING AND SHUTTING]

[MAN WHISTLING OH, MY DARLING CLEMENTINE]

Peyton: Hello?

Hello?

[SIGHS]

[MAN WHISTLING OH, MY DARLING CLEMENTINE]

Hey!

You can't be in here.

There. That's better.

Would it surprise you to know that I've been here before?

In a district attorney's of t a big shock, no.

Four times.

Every few years some DA gets it in his or her head to make a run at me, so I swing by to talk about how things can go.

Are you threatening me?

Gosh, no. Actually...

Three of those former DAs, they're doing great.

They fell into some money, retired young, fabulous PPO health insurance that pays for contact lenses and teeth whitening.

And the fourth DA?

Escapes me.

I see.

You're attempting to bribe an assistant district attorney.

Add that to the illegal ex parte communication, I might have enough to bring you back in here to see the place during work hours.

You are not lacking for pluck, huh?

And I admire the work ethic. The late hours.

And this wall thing?

But it is a little out of date.

So maybe you only have one source?

Who left my employ about two years ago?

I wonder who. And I wonder what happens to your case if he goes away?

It's time for you to leave.

This is quite the gig for someone two years out of law school.

The DA pulled you out of sabbatical, right?

So with a continent full of experts on drug law, racketeering, and so on, he opted for a 27-year-old.

Maybe his heart's not quite in this.

Or maybe it's the pluck.

[WHISTLING OH, MY DARLING CLEMENTINE]

Clive: Remember him?

This is the turtle on Roger Thrunk's desk.

That's right.

I suppose he looks more like a Mr. Sheldon than Harry.

We had a forensic team going through everything in Thrunk's office and some flunky showed up wanting to feed the turtle.

So that's what "take care of Mr. Sheldon" meant.

It was literal.

He wasn't ordering a hit. He was getting a pet sitter.

Yeah, but things got weird.

When forensics said they needed to call in and make sure it was okay with me, the flunky split.

They didn't even get a name. Why would he do that?

I saw a movie once set in a jungle prison.

Prisoners wrote messages on the bottom of turtles' shells.

Ah...

The things they never tell you you'll be doing at the detective academy.

Oh, boy.

Babineaux!

You and that turtle get a room.

I'm looking for messages.

I won't ask.

We think there's something fishy about this turtle.

This is all you, buddy.

In A Fish Called Wanda, they hid the key in the treasure chest.

Does anyone else have any movie plots that may apply?

He doesn't have a treasure chest.

He's got a castle.

There's something.

Well, what do we have here?

Looks like cocaine to me.

So that's why Mr. Sheldon wouldn't shut up about taking me for a ride in his Porsche.

I think we'll bring Roger in tonight for another chat. You in?

Actually, I kinda have plans.

Okay, two glasses of wine. I think I'm ready.

Doesn't get any safer than this.

We could just wait until Ravi finishes his research.

Nope. It's on.

High card strips.

Draw.

What did you get?

A two.

Liar. Show your card, Lilywhite.

Read 'em and weep.

[SIGHS]

Slow down now. Make it a show.

Hey, don't you dare make me feel cheap.

Come on. Everyone knows this is how you put yourself through college.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, how about a face card means you provide a little dirty talk?

We'll see. I may need to finish this bottle first.

Wait. Let's show each other at once.

Build some drama.

All right.

Three, two, one.

Well, luckily, I'm wearing four pairs of socks.

No, sir.

Fully monty. Give me the goods.

All right. [CLEARS THROAT]

What? A G-string?

Uncool.

I play to win.

Now, draw, lady.

Three, two, one.

Oh.

[SIGHS] Yeah.

All right. Yeah.

That did the trick for me.

Good night.

[CHUCKLES]

Mr. Thrunk.

Guess I figured it out.

Thanks for playing along.

Major: It was fun.

It was.

I know it's not the same as...

That's okay.

You remember the last time?

You mean, the last time we...

That is what I mean.

Yeah.

Laundry room. Your apartment building.

We'd fought earlier about how many of your teammates would get invitations to the wedding.

Make up s*x. Good stuff.

Just a couple more days.

A couple more days.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Congratulations, Officer.

You've turned $24 into $1,500.

I'm gonna let it ride on Arizona to win it all at 15 to one.

Arizona?

Fine. Your money.

Soon to be my money.

I have it on good authority from an NCAA champion himself.

And who might that be?

Only Calvin Owens.

What?

Well, if there's someone who would understand betting on college basketball.

Male commentator: Bowman grabs the rebound, and it's a beautiful outlet pass to Calvin Owens!

He's going for the jam and, oh, he can't get it to go down!

[CLICKS]

Hey.

Caught you.

I get it now.

You sit down here and bone up on a few basketball facts, then regurgitate them to me, trying to show me up.

You got me. What's up?

Our frogmen did their dive, they found the motorcycle.

We traced it to a visiting Serbian national.

He and his brother were on a flight back to Serbia less than three hours after Harry Cole was shot.

They've both got violent records back home.

So we infiltrate a Serbian crime gang. It's almost too easy.

I'm pushing the DA to extradite, but it's a long shot.

I'm sure they were guns for hire.

Enjoying some classic Calvin?

[CHUCKLES]

Doing some homework.

You remember their record their championship season?

Yeah, they only had a couple of losses.

35 and two. Know what they were against the spread?

Six and 31.

If Vegas is doing its job, most teams should be close to .500 against the spread.

Yeah, I know how the spread works.

Right. Well, Calvin had a bad habit of getting careless late in games.

I think he was shaving points.

And his college buddy was a serious gambler.

We need to talk to Mr. Owens again.

Find out if he's got any connections to.

Nikos and Novak Slijepcevic.

I'll find how to pronounce that.

You said it fine.

You two are out of your dar minds.

I want my lawyer, man.

You could do that. Or you can just hear us out.

You've been advised of your rights.

Remain silent if you like.

I didn't kill anyone. That's crazy.

Crazy like how your college team failed to cover the spread 80% of the time.

You used to get the yips pretty bad in the closing minutes.

Lots of pressure at the end of games.

What? No good under pressure, Calvin?

But in the pros, those yips cleared up.

Of course, by then you weren't short of cash anymore.

But your college buddy was.

That's why he was blackmailing you.

"Pay off my debts, or I'll tell everyone"

"about those games we fixed back in college."

You could've paid him off, but you knew that wasn't gonna end.

Not with a degenerate like Harry.

So I jumped on the back of a motorcycle and shot him?

"Think someone might've seen a 6'7" shooter?

The bike was registered to the sons of Goran Slijepcevic.

You and Goran were teammates in Milwaukee for two seasons until he was cut for pulling a knife in a card game dispute on a team flight.

You reached out to an old friend to fix your problem.

Mr. Owens.

Peyton Charles. I'm with the district attorney's office.

It would be in your best interest to confess.

You think so, huh?

Goran Slijepcevic has had a pretty impressive post-basketball career.

He's a war criminal.

Serbia's just getting back their international reputation.

You think they'd risk that to protect a family of thugs with ties to a genocide?

We will get them extradited.

How long do you think it'll take for them to roll over on you?

Confess and I'll keep you out of gen pop.

There's lot of prisoners who want to meet Calvin Owens and not all of them are fans.

[ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]

This one.

This was my jam.

You like the music, don't you, Grandpa?

Oh, it has been a hell of a few days, Gramps.

Turns out we have something more in common than our good looks and stellar musical taste.

Dad has figured out a way to take over my business, too.

[WHIMPERING]

You're okay.

What do you say we teach him a lesson this time?

Let him know what it feels like.

[WHIMPERING]

Shh, just listen to the music.

Yo, Angus.

I've decided I'll do it.

Yeah, I did have options.

I'm heading to Mount Rainier. You'll have the brain you want by tomorrow.

[MUFFLED GASPING]

Shh.

Just listen to the music.

Just listen to the music.

Did you know condoms have a 98% success rate?

I have heard that stat somewhere.

You gotta like those odds.

No pressure.

Come on. Come on.

[SIGHS]

Oh, damn.

[SIGHS]

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

Ravi: Stop what you're doing! I'm coming in!

Liv: Ravi? What? MAJOR: Wait! Ravi?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Knocking!

In this house we use knocking.

Are you decent?

Liv: Decent enough.

Tell me you haven't had s*x yet.

Seems like a question you could've asked outside the door.

Have you?

No.

[SIGHS]

That's very, very good news.

Zombie virus is a hundredth the size of a typical virus.

I tested every brand of condom, every material, 102 samples.

Zombie virus went through all of them.

If you have s*x, Major will become a zombie.

That is not a risk, that's a certainty.

Look, someday I'll cure it. I will.

But until then, I'm sorry.

Thanks, Ravi. Really.

There's other stuff.

The other night was fun.

It was.

So we get creative.

We're creative people. We'll figure it out.

Yeah. This isn't it for us.

It's not.

So, what are we doing later?

Wanna catch a G-rated movie?

Ah, I've got work.

Late night training sessions.

But tomorrow?

Tomorrow. Great.

Foot rub?

Yes.

Wait, was that an offer or a request?

[CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

[SNIFFLES]

Dude, guess what?

I'm reading the news and then suddenly, your scary-ass pops is staring at me.

Someone kidnapped the guy.

Gimme that.

Don E.: Just like our other customers.

I mean, talk about luck, right?

What are we listening to? Can we turn this crap off?

Radio announcer: The real estate mogul's living room was covered in anti-capitalist graffiti and violent class warfare slogans, fueling speculation that the perpetrators are anti-corporate radicals. In other news, the Seattle City Council today approved a motion...

[GRUNTS]



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