[Liv] Previously on iZombie...
You're a hero, you know that.
You show 'em what one good human can do.
We're gonna make it to Seattle with or without you.
We get stopped in Washington, we're screwed.
Consider this group a task force.
We need to find out who murdered this poor woman.
Seventy-two people were pinging the cell phone tower at : that night.
One of these ladies must be our victim.
Have you seen the video of the woman being dragged into the car of a couple of zombies?
We haven't been able to identify the victim.
I found her phone.
In her jacket.
[indistinct radio chatter]
It was just supposed to be a work retreat.
She can't be dead.
[Liv] I know there's a time crunch, but I hope we don't find his girlfriend's body until he agrees to go home.
Yeah, but until we find a body, we're no closer to finding the zombies who ripped her to shreds.
Oh, my God. You're alive.
Bix? Wow. Is this happening?
What're you wearing?
Lisa, we're inside caution tape.
Wait. Did someone die?
Oh, hey, man. Glenn. Accounting.
What's going on, Lisa?
My guess, Lisa and Glenn's work retreat took a somewhat romantic and psychedelic turn.
I totally get your energy, brother, but can we table this?
'Cause I am peaking right now and this is about to go south.
I take it you're Lisa Gertz?
I need the last four of your social.
Good luck, buddy.
Sixty-nine phones down.
Three to go. Still no victim.
It's the journey, Clive.
State Trooper found these Raggedy Anns on a bus near Tacoma.
No ID. Wouldn't tell us where they're from.
It's not our problem, right?
Child Protective Services'll get 'em home.
[Oliver] Sweet ride.
What is that, like to in what, five seconds?
- Something like that, yeah.
I plan on joining the force after high school.
Well, best of luck to ya.
I thought about being a fireman at first, but, uh, the boys in blue are the real heroes, am I right?
Fireman get guns?
- No, they do not.
- Enough said.
I hear that cops do better with the ladies.
Now, that is an undisputed fact.
Do you ever feel like you're an unwitting tool of the prison industrial complex?
Oh, come on.
[opening theme music playing]
Pain in my ass.
[Joyce] In addition to the three dead, Sullivan and Cortez each lost a leg.
McIlleny lost an eye.
And the suicide bomber?
Still no leads.
A Dead Ender, no doubt.
Commander, if I may.
Some of our soldiers are expressing concern that your policies are...
They felt safer before the curfew was eliminated.
They aren't thrilled by the body cameras.
They feel that engaging in community outreach and conflict resolution courses is, well...
A waste of time.
Are we voting on policy now?
I'm just giving the commander the lay of the land.
We need to be seen as part of this community.
Not an occupying force.
We are an occupying force.
Perhaps, if the commander spent more time out in the field...
Maybe you and the commander should compare bullet scars, Hobbs.
So, we should just kill them with kindness, these, uh, Dead Enders?
I'm not asking you to hand out flowers.
I'm saying we will hold ourselves to higher standards.
Those soldiers were my friends.
Do you even know their names?
You are out of line, Sergeant Major.
Adrian Flores moved here from Tallahassee when he was .
Never missed an FSU football game.
Danny Cozza was a local.
Dad runs a fishing charter.
Heather Schooley was from Olympia.
We will not rest until we have found those responsible for this attack.
But let's keep in mind, there are half a million humans in Seattle, and , of us.
If they decide that we only have zombie interests at heart, this city will collapse.
You cooking brains, Ravi?
I thought you already had your monthlies.
Ravi told me you'd been having a tough go of it.
I know your favorite comfort food is double chocolate brownies, but brain cannelloni just felt right.
So, you let the winners out of Seattle to compete on the show and they give you ad time?
There's no way I'm doing that.
Besides, could you imagine the commercial?
"Dance of a Lifetime! sponsored by Fillmore Graves, the zombie mercenaries who built the wall your uncle's trapped behind."
- How are you holding up over there?
It's the worst.
My job is pretending to be RoboCop, but knowing the Buzzfeed Quiz explicitly told me I'm a C- PO.
Well, I am on board for all your reforms, for what it's worth.
And Ravi keeps reminding me that C- PO's an Ewok god, so, I've got that going for me.
The cannelloni was amazing, Liv, thank you.
I thought you could do with a pick-me-up.
So, I dropped by The Scratching Post, picked up some fitness-guru brains.
It seemed like a safe bet.
- Fitness guru?
Hence the sudden urge to gun my lats.
You sneak a little appetizer?
Was my cannelloni a failure?
Replaced your delicious brains with disgusting brain tube paste while you were dressing the salad.
You cooking for me means the world to me.
But I can't really afford anyone else living in my head at the moment.
You know, just once I wish you'd ask how my day was before using my body.
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
How was your day?
It was pretty good, I guess.
Mmm! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How about some reciprocity?
When am I not reciprocal?
Reciprocity is the hallmark of a Chakrabarti tumble.
No, no, no, no.
Right. How was your day, love?
Mmm... Well, since you asked,
I had a Skype interview with this teen journalist from Iowa.
She's doing a story for her school paper on "Influential Women Under ."
Oh. Tell me how powerful you are.
She, um, asked me some crazy questions about zombies.
- Like, tinfoil-hat crazy.
I guess, in Iowa, people think zombie hordes roam Seattle eating human legs like drumsticks or that they grow their nails out running through schools scratching children like Freddy Kreuger.
Mmm, human legs...
- Which got me thinking...
- [clears throat]
Seattle could really use some positive zombie PR.
- You know what we could do?
- [clicks tongue] Give up?
Solicit ideas from the public.
Make it a thing.
I can run it up the pole with City Council.
Of course, they hate each other's guts.
So, getting anything done will be hard.
Hmm, so hard.
Oh, God, they're frustrating, those two.
- So frustrating.
Two? There are only two City Council members?
Do you ever listen to me?
The other five escaped Seattle before the wall went up.
Mort and Zed are the only ones who stuck around.
I can't even get them to agree to hold a new election.
Are you kidding? I love the idea of a special election.
All I ask is that we identify the candidates as zombie or human right there on the ballot.
The people of Seattle have a right to know who or what they're voting for.
I'm... I'm just afraid Zed might find it a bit...
An election should not be about us versus them.
I got you there.
Mort is a typical human.
A zombie-hating bully.
I love zombies. Big fan of the culture.
Zed is why you're stuck in this not-really-the-mayor-but- obligated-to-do-his-job limbo.
- He won't...
- come to the table.
He's not interested in solution.
All he has is these empty slogans and...
- And no execution.
- And he doesn't have the heart...the balls to do what's right for the city.
- What can I say?
- My hands are tied.
Wait, I had a... I had one more item on the agenda.
You want some money for a PR campaign.
I've read your email.
We all agree that improving the national perception of zombies is critical to the safety of Seattle.
We absolutely agree.
And what good are roads and libraries and schools and firetrucks if we've been nuked, right?
It's a great idea.
It's just not...
in the budget.
And if it's not in the budget, we can't approve it.
Hang in there.
People like us, we get it.
We know it's not about having a super shredded core, ripped quads, jacked delts,
swole hams, yoked pects and insanely-tight glutes.
It's about feeling good, and realizing your potential, am I right?
Liv, I know you're on a fitness-nut brain, but do not try to make me the Hans to your Franz.
Oh, this could be our lady.
Excuse me, ma'am, this is my swole mate, CB.
Clive Babineaux. We're Seattle PD.
You have a moment?
Oh, sure. Excuse the sweat.
Damn hot flashes.
Oh, sweat is just your body fat crying.
- May I?
We're investigating a potential homicide that took place last week outside of a convenience store.
Oh, I saw the footage. That poor woman.
And the victim was on her cell just before the attack, so, we're tracking down every phone that pinged the nearest tower.
Mind telling me the last four of your social?
Oh. Sure. .
[garbage bin rattling]
I'm glad you're okay, Mrs. Jones.
Oh, wait, you're the one that's been calling me.
I'm sorry, I don't answer unknown numbers.
I donated to a non-profit once, and now every time the phone rings, it's like,
"Hey, give ten dollars for the Sumatra rhino."
Are you kidding me?
Okay, I get guilt tripped enough.
Like, when Larry, that's my second husband, contracted cholera.
Don't ask. And he was all like, "You have the power to help me," until I agreed to steal hydrocodone for his stomach pain.
He was exploding like a hydrant in a Brooklyn heat wave.
I probably shouldn't be telling the cops about stealing the meds.
That's okay. Liv. Liv.
- [Liv panting]
- [Cathy] Bye.
Good news, the lab should be sending the blood test results from the convenience store murder tomorrow.
[straining] That's what's up.
There's stress in your voice, bro.
Are you getting enough omega threes?
It's just Peyton.
She's just a little bit...
Underwhelmed in the sack?
What? Did she say something?
You're probably overdoing it.
It's a common mistake for young men.
It's simpler than you think.
You know, four hours before s*x, you just take an ice bath, eat three Brazil nuts...
Okay, thank you.
A spoon of fermented trout butter, and then, during the jam sesh, you just, sort of, soak.
You know, think of it as a hot tub.
Not a lap pool.
And focus on the eyes.
I was gonna say she's a bit overwhelmed at work.
[chuckles] Aren't we all.
Hey, we should hit the gym after work.
Ow! I'm good, actually.
Oh, come on.
Bro, don't you want to be Ravi-rock-hard-body?
What are you putting in that gob of yours?
Goose muddled in antler sauce, a civet of hare, six hard-boiled eggs covered in saffron
- and flavored with cloves.
- [mumbling inaudibly]
And while you're here, innkeep...
Perchance a sprinkling of grated Myconid in my soup?
Tell me when.
[clears throat] I take a seat next to Mr. Bandywax.
You must come with me now, my halfling friend.
Oh, not now.
My goose remains uncooked.
Don't sit there pitchkettled, Mr. Bandywax.
If you don't come forsooth, you risk never gandering another goose, be it cooked or raw.
I rush to the table, take the remaining seat.
Prithee, Mosco, leave thy bellytimber thither and let us flee, lest thy be the very cooked goose thou longst to taste.
Okay. Are you guys gonna kill some monsters, or am I gonna send Gorlogg the Attention Seeker
in here with his Vorpal blade?
My cousin in Ohio thinks that I turned zombie for attention.
[clears throat] Didn't you turn vampire for a girl?
Do you mind if I steal that line?
My comedy troupe could use it for our zombie sketch.
You're in a comedy troupe?
How did I not know this?
- They're not bad.
Three straight regional Yuck-Yucks, so, suck it, Steve.
You can't steal turning-zombie-for-attention.
Wait, you do zombie sketches?
They kill. It's actually a portfolio of sketches, about living next door to zombies.
[chuckling] We have this one bit called "Dinner at the Deadman's" where my human brother tries to help me pray away the Zs.
It's so good.
Uh, we go all out, too, you know.
Like white wigs, zombie makeup.
So you paint your face and appropriate another culture?
Oh. Never thought about it that way.
Whatever. I've got two hours before my pregnant wife comes home and realizes that I'm not there making her tea and rubbing her back, so...
Hold... Hold on. Tell me more about this sketch.
Well, okay, so...
What we like to try to do is...
Thwack. Gorlogg lifts Mosco's severed head in the air and shouts,
"I am Gorlogg!
Look at me. Look at me!"
Roll for initiative.
To hell with the police. They ain't the ones getting blown up.
Blue lives matter?
White lives matter.
Hate to break it to you.
You're far from white, Spud.
Tell those Dead Enders calling me "whitey."
Most humans are decent people.
You sound like Lillywhite.
The commander is trying to keep the peace.
We push humans too far, and they're gonna look around and decide that they'd rather die fighting than live in a walled zombie homeland.
- We could take 'em.
- You're an idiot.
- Take cover.
- Look out.
[Spud] Up there.
[Justin] How about these two?
John and David Mendez?
They have a father in San Diego dying of cancer and a senile mother.
She'll be all on her own once he passes.
- And the brothers themselves?
- They're healthy?
I'm going to hell.
Our squad was ambushed in an alley off Hayes Street.
Jordan didn't make it.
[Buddy] Give me Chase Graves over Lillywhite any day.
- [Spud] Oh, you can say that again.
- Yeah, he'll get his.
Yeah, you knew which side he was on.
What do you think flower-power'll do about it?
Put on some Bob Marley.
Bus in a few more grief counselors.
Remind us how outnumbered we are.
We need to clap back.
Before this can't-we-all-get-along crap gets us all killed.
[Spud sighs] Excuse me, sir.
I can't help but notice that you've got a high-powered rifle pointed at my skull.
I must warn you that if you shoot me in the head, I will then, and only then, be given permission to return fire.
[chuckles] What? You know I'm right.
You think your anger makes you special, Spud?
When I found Jordan, she was digging brain tubes out of bus station garbage cans.
I brought her here and I trained her.
She died saving your sergeant.
What were you hiding behind when she was putting herself in danger?
I know what Jordan's done for her fellow zombie.
You, I'm not so sure about.
I'm... I'm asking you to be smart.
Don't you get it?
They want to provoke violence.
Only % of the human population wants a war.
CHICs. Dead Enders. Are you gonna give them what they want?
Yes, some of us are gonna die, so that all of us don't die.
If that's not what you signed up for, then go.
It goes for all of you.
Commander, if we catch the shooter, the people who made that truck bomb, what are you gonna do to them?
They'll be turned over to the court system.
Human judges? Human juries?
It's the law. It's what we do.
Okay, we are gonna have zombie super strength.
How cool is that?
The next time someone asks us to choose between the belt and the boot, we can just rip their arms off.
Coast is clear, but stay on your toes.
There's lots of US Army between us and Seattle.
Where do we meet if we have to split up?
[all] Molino Road.
A pint of ranch dressing is , calories. FYI.
- Good to know. Thanks.
- It's just...
I know you like ranch dressing.
I usually manage to avoid having a pint in a sitting.
[sighing] One more name to cross off.
Why can't people just answer their phones?
[dispatch over radio] All units nearby, shots fired at Warmbloods,
- Warmbloods, that's close.
- [siren wailing]
He was in a hurry.
- Seattle PD.
- [man groaning]
You got the wrong bar, Renegade.
Let me stop the bleeding.
Don't touch me, Whitey.
I know what you are.
You heard the man, back off.
Your friend is dying. He needs medical attention now.
I... I won't scratch him. I promise.
Your kind's done enough damage already. Get the hell out of here.
I suggest you step aside, or I'll place you under arrest for obstructing an officer.
Let 'em through, Matty.
Nothing they can do now.
[indistinct radio chatter]
[sighs] What do you know?
It was a drive-by. Two people in masks.
How many casualties?
Witnesses saw the shooter and the driver take off in a blue Civic hatchback.
Matches with the vehicle we saw racing off on our way over.
See if any of our guys own a car like that.
Of course, Commander.
[man] Hey, Commander.
How are you all gonna cover this one up?
What are we gonna hear on the news?
Eddie Diggs died of natural causes.
He is survived by his wife and two kids.
[Peyton] Ravi, no. I'm exhausted.
I just watched a barbershop quartet do Ebony and Ivory.
Two of them in whiteface.
You can tell me at home.
I'm still here, but I'm walking out now.
Yes, this is me walking out.
This is me turning out the lights, locking up.
Oh, you lie!
Okay, you got me.
What is so important?
Are you still hearing presentations?
I just finished, thank God.
You got time for one more?
Psst. [Snaps fingers]
- Stand right there.
[both men clear throat]
Jimmy and his comedy troupe do a...
Portfolio of sketches.
About a human couple living next door to a zombie couple.
And there's laughs, there's heart.
And guess what, you might just learn a thing or two.
Great, now all we have to do is convince millions of Americans to cross the militarized dead zone, make it over the wall to the zombie-controlled city of Seattle and get themselves to...
Where do you perform, Jimmy?
Count McCackles' Comedy Castle.
Yeah, see, I knew she wouldn't see the potential.
We... We produce the episodes, we post them online.
The episodes go viral.
Right. Think about what Will & Grace did for gay people.
Or what The Cosby Show did for...
Let's not use that example.
Crazy Rich Zombies.
Okay, I see your point.
Zombies? [Scoffs] They're just the folk next door.
The people you wave to every day on your way to work.
Do you have a name for it?
Wait for it.
Jury's out on the name, but I love the idea.
I mean, it's one of the best I've heard all day.
How much does it cost?
- [Ravi] Hmm? Oh.
- [clears throat]
[hesitant] Something like that.
You know, uh, to build sets, uh, hire a crew and a stage.
Why don't we just put the first zombie on the moon, too?
- Here you go, hon.
Did you hear about the four dead at Warmbloods?
They said on the news there was just one.
And you believe everything they say on the news?
Those necros downplay everything.
That poor woman outside the convenience store?
I got a buddy down in Chehalis, rolls with a crew.
Started running patrol shifts to protect the border.
'Bout time someone's willing to do something. Right?
Lady, these boys is locked and loaded.
Hell, some of 'em even use bows and arrows.
Let's hope they bring home some scalps.
There she is.
Now, that is a beautiful sight.
Race you to the wall.
God, that kid's gullible.
- Whoo! Whoo!
We made it man.
[swish and thud]
Go, go, go. There's a bunch of 'em.
Get under the SUV.
- What about you?
- Just go!
Run. Run. Run. Don't stop! Just go!
[militia leader] The kids went that way.
Can you not? It's a little distracting.
Oh, you mean these bad boys.
Feels good to let 'em breathe.
[exhales] I'll take your word.
Come on, CB, we're police.
We have a right to bare arms.
Ah, there he is.
I'm sad to say that your final potential murder victim is alive and well.
This picture was posted yesterday by one of her friends.
That photo could have been taken months ago and posted by our killer.
But on closer inspection, yesterday's footage of the Warmblood shooting.
She can't be deceased.
Over phones, every one of their owners alive and accounted for.
We should tell Bozzio.
Harris, you seen the Lieutenant?
Uh, she's in interrogation with another car club guy.
[S. Cavanaugh] You watch the video of the murder outside the convenience store?
The killers were in a lowrider.
I get it.
You see a lowrider, you immediately bring in the Latino, right?
Victor Ruiz. You are the founder of Seattle Lowrider Consortium.
So? That makes me a murderer?
You guys put on a lot of car shows?
Oh, you're saying I consort with murderers, then?
Recognize this car?
Yeah, I know that car.
But you're not gonna find the guy who owns it.
He left Seattle before the wall went up.
I know where the car is, though.
Would you mind writing down that address for us before you leave?
You having a vision?
Tragically overlooked muscle group.
See what I did there, Clive?
Lift with your legs. Back flat.
Ah. I think this is our car.
Detective school is really paying off.
Exposed wires from the steering column indicate hot-wiring.
Sorry, traffic. What'd I miss?
Uh... So, I've got some weird news.
Oh, you and Peyton tried the soak-and-stare technique.
The DNA results came back from the blood taken from the convenience store.
- Were they able to identify the victim?
- Not yet.
But there was blood from a dozen people, all human, not a drop was zombie.
Well, we still need to test this blood.
I'm gonna puke.
It's corn syrup.
Hey, bros, this look familiar?
Looks like detective classes are paying off for all of us.
Oh, just like the victim's hair in the convenience store video.
- It's corn syrup.
- Nice work, Ravi.
You just ate empty calories.
So, the video was a hoax.
No one's dead?
Every person whose cell phone pinged the tower at the time is still alive and accounted for.
The corn syrup blood in the car's a pretty dead giveaway.
And the blood found at the convenience store was from multiple people.
We also found a wig that matches the victim's hairstyle.
What kind of a sicko fakes a zombie attack?
Someone who wants to see the city burn.
I'll call a press conference.
Expose the video as a fake.
And what are you gonna say?
"Hey, everybody, the video you saw of two zombies ripping a woman to shreds," it never happened.
Oh, and we don't know who's behind the false flag,
"so, just take our word for it."
Well, Major, it has the advantage of being true.
Well, the truth's not gonna cut it.
Look, our words won't trump their images, okay?
People saw a murder.
All right? If we're gonna claim it was a hoax, we gotta put some meat on the bone.
What are you suggesting?
We get people to confess.
Say they fabricated the murder.
They wanna stir up zombie hate with fake news, fine.
We'll fight them on their terms.
And you expect Seattle PD to get behind this?
Only if it wants to keep its homicide rate in check.
Are you sure about this, Major?
There's gonna be a lot of heat on whoever takes the fall for this.
We need to get them out of Seattle, and we'll have to do it discreetly.
I wanna live in your world.
Peyton, Lieutenant, expect my instructions.
Officers Chris Tader and Buddy Jackson.
Jackson owns the blue hatchback.
And residue shows Tader fired his weapon.
Both have confessed.
Couldn't keep it in your pants, huh, Spud?
I didn't shoot anyone who didn't deserve it.
And you're judge and jury now?
Well, someone's gotta be, Ol' Softy.
That is your Commander, soldier!
Chase Graves is my commander.
Your move, Commander.
Have they said anything yet?
Very little. They're waiting for you.
We thought we made it.
We were at the wall, and...
These two hitched along. Bad foster home situation.
Can... Can Oliver get a scratch?
He's very sick.
It was at this intersection, that a mystery woman, now identified as Cynthia Rybnicki, was brutally murdered by two zombies.
Or was she?
Today the Seattle Police Department arrested Miss Rybnicki along with brothers John and David Mendez for perpetrating a hoax.
A hoax intended to stir up anti-zombie sentiment.
As they were brought in for processing, Miss Rybnicki gave a defiant hand sign associated with the Dead Enders,
- a zombie hate group.
- [all cheering]
The Mendez brothers and Miss Rybnicki
confessed when presented with the evidence.
If anything, they seemed proud of the damage they'd done to the city.
[reporter] How much time will they get?
The DA promised me it would be no less than years.
While the group is under fire for stoking anti-zombie fear in Seattle, they also remain embroiled in a tragedy of their own.
Two days ago, patrons of Warmbloods, rumored to be a Dead Ender watering hole, were enjoying happy hour when bullets ripped through this window, injuring three and killing one.
Today we learn the fates of those drive-by shooters.
Yesterday, we received this footage, secretly recorded and smuggled out of a Fillmore Graves downtown warehouse.
- [Guillotine thuds]
- [all groan and cheer]
The same source identified the two men as Chris Tader and Buddy Jackson.
Commander, is that you in the video, Commander?
And didn't you promise that the Guillotine is a thing of the past?
I promised that Fillmore Graves will police itself.
When my soldiers break the law, they pay a price.
Every human and zombie in the city would be wise to understand that.
Hell of a performance.
- [Helen] And there you have it.
- You think it'll work?
You think they'll keep quiet?
They're getting what they want. Passage out of the city.
They're incredibly grateful.
Thanks for getting them out.
It's what I do.
Why'd you change your mind?
I was already living in your world.
I just didn't know it yet.
You're both sure?
[both exhale deeply]
Just like I said.
All in the eyes.
What would happen if you had two spoonfuls of trout butter?
I don't know, but I'd be afraid to find out.
How'd you get the money?
For Hi, Zombie. Production costs, etcetera.
Ever heard of the Space Needle?
Rings a bell.
I sold the naming rights.
Can the chief of staff to a dead mayor do that?
Oh, God, no.
No, I figured I've got three, four months before I'm discovered, the scandal breaks and my career bites the dust.
Because I'm not sure we survive three months if we just sit back and do nothing.
I've been to DC, Ravi, and they're looking for an excuse to wipe us off the map.
I have never loved you more than in this moment.
Not even seconds ago when we were...
This moment is a close second.
[Cathy] Just, I can't believe it.
I mean, that was us.
I mean, we did that.
- It was your plan.
And the TV lied.
Who were those people?
People our dear Commander found to play the part.
That was my part.
We have to tell people they've been duped.
And we know that how, because we duped people first?
Dolly, just, please...
No, no, no. I need you to say this with me.
"Dolly. I won't tell anyone." Hum?
Okay, okay fine. I hear you.
You know, it's just that I stole blood from the hospital for this.
You know I flailed around that car like a damn epileptic, and for what?
Everything they said on TV is fake news.
People gotta know. We've gotta tell 'em Dolly.
You seem a little worked up Hon, um...
Let someone else drive you home.
Take a nice clean bath, treat yourself.
You know, you deserve that.
Does Benny come with that?
Well, that's up to Benny.