01x08 - Monkey Largo

[bunniefuu]

Del (V.O.): Previously on Big Time...

We gonna make a movie.

You want to make a movie with us?

Oh, oh, oh!

Diana: What is going on?

What the hell does a cartel have to do with a local, suburban family?

I don't know, maybe we could bring 'em all in on RICO charges for conspiracy.

That is real, human hair, and you are going to get a letter from its donor... every single month.

We need somebody on the inside.

A snitch?

Someone I can put pressure on.

Malloy: So we have an understanding, right, Del?

Malloy: You're working for us now.

( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

Just another day at the office.

Let's catch some bad guys.

It's locked, Largo!

sh**t the locks off!

Got it!

t*rror1st!

t*rror1st!

More t*rrorists!

Freeze!

You'll never take us alive.

( g*n FIRES )

( RICO SHRIEKING )

He's heading right for the reactor!

I got the chimp! You find out what he knows!

Who put you up to this?

Nicolai Bushkov Drago...

English, you bastard!

What I say was, "Have you ever seen your partner die?"

Bang!

Agh!

Automated voice: (V.O.) Nuclear reactor sequence initiating.

No! No!

Largo! No, buddy!

Largo!

I don't say this enough, Butler...

I... I love you!

No!

No!

( GAS HISSING )

No!

Oh... oh... oh!

( CRYING )

I love you, too, buddy!

Chimp largo: What the heck are you crying about, Butler?

Hey, who's that dead guy?

Largo?

Oh, my god!

( THEME SONG FADES UP )

♪ Rainbow whoa oh Whoa oh ♪
♪ Rainbow ♪

Monkey Largo is the brain child of brothers Ben and Jack Dolfe. Local filmmakers who, until recently... were still making little videos in their parents' garage.

A mi me gusta chili con carne?

Agh!

But if the brothers are intimidated by the challenge... of making their first real movie... they're not letting on.

Ugh... god, no.

Am I scared?

Viv, to be honest, I don't have time to be scared.

Vivian: (V.O.) The reason he has no time is because Monkey Largo... relies heavily on complex CGI special effects.

And enter Rico.

Are you [BLEEP]ing my wife?

It's not what it looks like!

Because it looks like... you're [BLEEP]ing my wife!

She said she was your sister!

She's full of [BLEEP]! She's a whore, [BLEEP] you!

Please put the g*n down!

I'm gonna k*ll myself.

You're gonna regret it!

And cut! Can we get Rico a robe?

Vivian: (V.O.) Including entire scenes where the duo say... they'll use computer graphics to make it seem like the chimp is actually talking.

[BLEEP] you, you bitch!

It'll look scary real.

I suppose that will make Rico the Chimp's job a little bit easier then.

Viv, I gotta stop you right there.

I'm so sorry, it's just Rico.

I mean, I'm sure that you wouldn't prefer to be called Vivian the Human.

( ALL LAUGHING )

His name is Rico... but according to Jack, he'd better get used to a new nickname... Movie Star.

Are you okay with that angle?

Jack: Scorsese has it with DiCaprio.

Jack: James Cameron has it with Linda Hamilton.

I have it with Rico.

Any bond with Cuba Gooding Jr.?

He's great, too, yeah.

He... I mean, he shows up, and he does his shtick and then he goes home, yeah.

So, Cuba, what has it been like working with Jack and Ben?

I believe them to be two of the greatest...

American filmmakers working in the art today.

I got to page 289 and knew this was a classic.

And that was the halfway point of the film... and then, into space.

So, Del, how long have you known these guys?

Jack and Ben are changing art.

Good.

Vanessa, when we got the movie... everybody came out of the woodwork.

"Hey, Jack, hey, Ben, can we be in your movie?"

No... you, douche bags.

But Del, he's loyal, and we trust no one more.

Hey.

Don't look at me!

Okay, okay.

She's your mark.

I don't know how, but I'm sure she's involved in this movie.

Now once we find out her involvement, this becomes a RICO case... and we can charge everyone on that set with the same crimes... that we're charging her with.

That includes your two friends.

Ben and Jack?

Or maybe I forget they had anything to do with this.

But that's all up to you, though.

If you see her... you let me know.

But be careful, Del.

If she finds out you're working with us... she'll pop your eye out and skull [BLEEP] you.

I'm raising you five percent.

Things are getting a little too tight in my hand, you know?

Coast Guard seizures, piece meal deliveries... ( FLIES BUZZING ) and 20 percent off the top of every dollar I earn... just for you to get around customs?

And now you want to raise your prices?

Your father...

They said you were good, Viv, they did.

What's he mean to you?

He's our best friend.

Aww. Honey.

None of this would have been possible, they say... without the support of their father, Alan.

Oh.

I thought they hated me.

A retired body builder who's devoted his life to cancer research.

And I think that the work itself speaks for itself... because we doing a lot of good things.

Many people have cancer.

They mentioned that making this movie with Cooba Downey Jr... Monkey Largo...

Who the hell is that?

sh**t!

Go long, Dad!

Yes! Fantastic throw, son!

Fake Alan: In my dreams, I always want to have boys like this.

You know, I used to say...

( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

Which means actually, "I'm so damn proud of you."

That is not Alan Dolfe.

Yay!

You're perfect!

Thank you so much!

I am Alan Dolfe.

Jack: I love you, Dad.

Fake Alan: I love you, too.

Alan: Well, the heck, yeah! I'm ticked off!

Alan: Have you ever heard of anything like this?

Those boys hired an Austrian man to play me... to play catch in the front yard!

If I'm understanding you, your dream is that Jack and Ben... would want to play catch with you?

I don't care about catch!

I just want them to give me just the general amount of respect... you would give a human being.

Is this the reason for the... change in your appearance?

What change in appearance?

The boys make him wear it.

I like the way it looks. I like it.

Alan, honey, you are working yourself up.

Now just calm down.

Okay, actually, Diana, Alan needs to learn to express his frustration... when he feels wronged.

That's the right word. I feel wronged.

Okay, every time you feel yourself being stepped on or disregarded... or tuned out, I want you to stop and say, "No!"

No.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

Not like a little bitch. No!

No!

No, no, no!

No!

Very good!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

Okay, okay...

All right! All right!

No!

All right! All right!

No!

Hey... there you are. I've been looking all over for you.

Hey.

Okay, so in this scene...

Yeah.

You have just found out that there is yet another snitch... in your criminal organization.

Yes.

Now obviously you're part machine, by this point, so it doesn't even really bother you.

Where... where is he, by the way?

Where is who?

Dead [BLEEP]ing Snitch #4.

Oh, crap.

Is he in make-up?

You are gonna k*ll me, Jack.

I cast Dead [BLEEP]ing Snitch #1, 2, 3...

Are you joking? You forgot to cast Dead [BLEEP]ing Snitch #4?

Yeah, I forgot to cast Dead [BLEEP]ing Snitch #4.

I'm sorry, I've been busy.

What is wrong with you? We're sh**ting it right now, man.

Well, I know it's my scene, but I've been wearing a lot of hats, okay, Jack?

I'm playing lead villain, co-director, co-writer, producer... casting, craft services... picked a guy up at the airport yesterday.

Look, I get it, I get it. I do, okay?

I feel like it's me, you, and freakin' Rico... pulling all of the weight over here.

Me, too.

All right?

That's all right, come here.

And I'm tired.

All right, we gotta find someone else. We're sh**t' now.

Jack: Hey, snitch!

Del!

There he is!

Jack: Snitch to set.

I'm not... I'm not a snitch.

Do you know where Mr. Gooding's trailer is?

Uh...

Gracias.

Jack: Come on! Come on over! Hello.

Run!

Holgado: Hello, Cuba.

How's my favorite film?

Listen, I got everything under control. You can best believe that.

You will have one take. Do you understand?

Just make sure your people know that.

You just make sure your people are in place.

Hear me?

See you tomorrow, Cuba.

He's gonna chop your privates off.

He's gonna shove your balls down your throat.

And then he's gonna cauterize the wound... so he doesn't bleed out of his nether regions.

What you gotta remember, Del, is that this is a slow, t*rture-filled m*rder.

You really gotta sell it.

And then we're gonna move set-ups.

He's gonna run over your legs with a truck.

He's gonna slaughter your dog in front of you... and he's gonna take ten or 12 whacks through your neck... with his dull machete.

And then, we put your severed head on this spike, and mail it to his mom.

Just so we can keep it as true to life as possible.

( INDISTINCT )

What? What's he saying?

I'm a snitch, Jack.

Yes, exactly.

He's in character.

We should sh**t.

All right, perfect.

Nothing quite like a nice branzino.

I'd like to start with two fish and chips and a large fry.

Excuse me, sir.

There is a line here.

Piss off.

Do you make your own clam cakes?

Do you put mayonnaise in there...

You know, somebody should just kick your ass.

Those are real clams, right?

Who might that be? You?

Buzz off.

No.

You want to step outside?

I'd love to.

Huh, huh, oh, come on.

I got you now!

Die. Die. Die.

So what are you fellows in here for?

Boom.

What a day.

There it is.

And cheers to that guy.

I mean, at the last second, to step in like that... and deliver the performance that you did.

Jack: I gotta say, Del, you absolutely crushed it.

Ben: Crushed it.

You delivered one of the best performances, I think, in the movie.

Yeah.

To do that last minute...

I... I don't... you know I know that I don't say this enough... but... I'm happy you're here, you know?

And... and, I don't know, I love you. I do.

So, you know, thank you.

I'm working for the cops.

What?

Stop it!

I'm gonna k*ll him!

Stop it! Stop it!

I'm gonna k*ll...

Stop!

Del, what were you thinking, man?

You... how could you do this?

No, no, no, no, no!

k*lling him will solve nothing! We need to figure this out.

What did you tell them, Del?

I didn't tell them anything!

I just told them what happens on the movie set every day, I swear!

Every day, Del?

Well, do they know about Staats?

I don't know!

What are we gonna do?

What if the private investigator told the cops about us?

He knew everything!

Wait! Del... are you meeting the police tonight?

Yes.

That's it, we're screwed.

Maybe not. Jack...

I'm pretty sure, I think I have an idea.

Test it, Del.

I don't want to do this.

Yeah, it works.

Yeah, we're good.

All right, Del, here's your job.

You gotta go in there... and get a list from A to Z of everything they have on us, okay?

Everything!

Everything!

Okay.

Ben: Hey, Del? Good luck, buddy.

He's in.

Malloy: (OVER WIRE) Tell me something new, Del.

Del: (OVER WIRE) I saw her.

What was she doing?

She was visiting with Cuba Gooding Jr.

I knew there was something going on with this movie.

Malloy: No one would ever actually produce this piece of crap.

[BLEEP]ing assh*le.

[BLEEP] him.

What about Ben and Jack?

I'm sorry, Del, but if your friends are involved in this... they're going down through RICO, too.

Did he say Rico?

Is he a snitch?

I think he said Rico's a snitch!

Do you have any idea what they were discussing?

I trusted him!

I told you we shouldn't use the chimp!

Can you tell me from A to Z... in list form, everything you have on Jack and Ben?

Are you wearing a [BLEEP]ing wire?

Jesus!

Even the monkey is snitching on us!

He has a name, it's Rico!

Oh, yeah? Well, what are we gonna do now, Jack?

I don't know, we're just gonna go there and we're gonna friggin' talk to him.

There's no way he would do this on his own!

Ben: He was forced!

Ben: Not you, Rico! Not you, Rico!

( MUSIC PLAYING )

( TIRES SCREECHING )

Ben: I bet those cops forced him to wear a wire!

Jack: They must have had something on him. It's the only thing that makes sense.

Ben: Friggin' pig bastards!

Jack: Okay, play it cool.

Hey, buddy, hey, just want to talk to you about tomorrow.

What are you doing? We gotta find his wire!

Ssh... they can hear us.

What?

Ssh.

Oh.

Little music...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

( MUSIC PLAYING )

Okay, we need to check his fur.

What?

No, ssh! We need to check his fur.

Right, right, okay. Oh, oh...

Hey, pal, big day tomorrow!

Oh! A big climax!

Yeah, it's gonna be pretty exciting!

Pretty fun.

Jack: Uh-oh, look, he wants a hug.

Why don't you pull the Kn*fe out while you're back there.

Hey, hey, stay focused! Okay, we're just checking around.

Checking around...

It's in his mouth.

Could be in his mouth.

In his mouth.

He's so [BLEEP]ing cute!

Ssh!

Okay, I can't find it, it's not here.

Oh, hey, Jack... can I talk to you over there for a second?

Oh, yes, Ben, let's go speak over here for a while.

We'll be right back, grab some bananas, Yeah, you relax.

Ben: It must be inside of him.

What?

It must be inside of him! He's gotta go!

What, you want to take him to dim sum and a show?

No!

What? We can't k*ll him!

Ssh!

What are you crazy?

Ssh.

Are you crazy?

Ssh!

Jack: No... Rico...

Reporter: (ON TV) The camera was found in the lavatory of a passenger flight to Miami.

This unidentified man was spotted just outside the bathroom moments...

( ELECTRICITY WHIRRING DOWN )

Jack: Oh, god, Rico!

( RICO SHRIEKING )

How can you do this to us!

Why couldn't you keep your mouth shut!

What the hell are you doing?

I don't... we didn't have a choice.

He's a snitch!

You know, because he's just a little chimpanzee!

And he... he was...

Why y'all trying to m*rder that monkey?

Rico is working for the cops, Cuba.

Yes, Cuba.

He's working for the cops.

What?

Cuba.

Our friend Del talked to the cops... and they told him something about someone named Holgado... and that they were gonna use Rico to bring us all down.

Tell me what he said exactly.

He said he was gonna bring us down through Rico.

How could you do this to us?

Don't you try to hug me!

No, no!

We gotta go.

Wait!

Now!

Diana, it's me.

Now remain calm, but I'm calling you from the police station.

Diana: (OVER PHONE) What? Why are you at the police station?

Because I nearly b*at a man within an inch... of his damn life, that's why.

Diana: (OVER PHONE) Alan, what are you talking about?

Malloy: Johnny... put that fat son of a bitch in interrogation one.

Uh, hang on, Diana.

Diana: (OVER PHONE) Alan, what is going on?

And k*ll the camera!

Bruce?

Diana: (OVER PHONE) Alan!

You broke my heart, Rico.

You broke my heart.

Hey... Bruce?

Diana: (OVER PHONE) Alan... Alan? Alan, are you there?

Oh, my God.

No.

No. No. No.

No.

Honey... our boys are in trouble.